GREASY Neckbeard Stories | Bathtime for Neckbeard

[@Cuestar]

i hope you're staying hydrated and hygienic

[@DeadAlready_1248]

We always are :)

[@nationalinstituteofcheese3012]

You know we are ☺️

[@Kiefsti]

Drinking right now chief 🤘

[@RainbowFlowerCrow]

Having some nice cold water with my dinner right now, chief!

[@darrellbenbrook6622]

Thanks Cue

[@Frederick-wj9wq]

Austrian here, have my favourite german language insult: "Herr, wirf hirm vom Himmel. Oder Steine, aber triff." which translates to "Lord, please throw brains from the heavens. Or stones, just hit the mark."

[@absolutelyridiculous6743]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@suitov]

That's beautiful and I'm tempted to break it out at some random time during my German friend's D&D campaign.

[@theclownsystem9429]

I learned German in highschool and college. I'm gonna have to remember this lol

[@huh4963]

Thank you. I will be using this

[@AlSidre]

Einer meiner lieblings Sprichwörter 😍

[@brendanrichardson7493]

I swear whenever there's a post saying to excuse poor English because its not their first language, the post will be written almost perfectly

[@alexkozliayev9902]

Because they are anxious about it, and will recheck ten times and consult the dictionary about every questionable word before posting

[@moonstone4893]

Yeah lmao I was reading that seeing a fair few “advanced” phrases and I was like damn either he’s lying about this being his second language or he’s just really fluent in English

[@QaDri93]

It’s just the usual redditor making up fake stories.

[@mistressofstones]

Story one is more of a "why do men?..." situation, she's not flexing. She's just wondering why men think the one who is alone with the girl in the end is the 'winner'. We don't like being treated like dudes can negotiate with each other who gets to sleep with us because that's actually up to us.

[@ricebeansrockroll882]

Yeah, It's one of those wierdass situations so many women have been in, but we still can't talk about because it's "flexing".

[@PenguinNoodleSoup]

Yeah but it’s not exactly a neckbeard story per se. May fit In a different sub

[@jonathanallard2128]

It is indeed up to you women, obviously. But let's not pretend like women letting men sorting the "Alpha" among themselves and then choosing that "Alpha" isn't an actual social phenomenon. Because that's by in large how things go VERY often.

[@yosefdavidkarutchi6904]

@@davidlisteresq its also more dangerrous for the woman. If a man suddenly comes onto us and we are completly alone with him we are more likely to say yes because we are scared of the alternativ. its a dick move

[@TrolltrainForever]

Both. I see your point. But, depending on the person(s), it could easily be either situation.

[@Peacefrog88]

That last one just seems like a character assassination of poor old Hans. Sounds like Hans is just living his best life.

[@lexiwentrogue2540]

Dude I’m so happy I’m not the only one who feels that way Hans sounds like a chill homie

[@jonathanallard2128]

If avoiding real life and engaging in hardcore escapism (eating only bad food and gaming 18 hrs a day) is living the best life to you, I wonder what sadness looks like in your eyes.

[@mental_decay_]

@@jonathanallard2128 Let Hans be happy. As long as he isn't hurting anyone but himself and fixes the know-it-all athiest thing, he's fine living like that

[@jonathanallard2128]

@@mental_decay_ I'm not so sure, this looks like sadness to me.

[@Peacefrog88]

@@jonathanallard2128 maybe it is sadness, but it's certainly not neck beard awfulness

[@ghostytrickster33]

i think for the bath thing, the brother is disabeled and it's only weird if you make it weird, it doesn't seem like there was any strange subtext.

[@SM-yz4hi]

yeah, nurses have to sponge-bathe grown adults all the time. Sounds like the brother just needs better help managing his disability. Idk how the OP could grow up with disabled brothers and still turn out so judgemental

[@inkystars19]

It was mentioned that he was capable of doing more then his twin brother

[@donutstew4117]

@@inkystars19 He was physically capable it seems, but still lacked the mental capacity to upkeep his own hygiene. There are probably better answers and it sounds like he could definitely put in more effort, but I don't find it weird on the mum's side and I don't think this specific thing would classify her as an insane parent.

[@venusharuna4187]

I don’t think the first story is flexing since she seems genuinely uncomfortable. Being seen as an object or piece of meat to be won and owned as a prize between two guys who you thought were your friends is a disgusting and heartbreaking feeling. Imo it doesn’t sound like a flex at all, but I also don’t think it’s a neckbeard story. Idk where they would put that story though, it just sounds like to assholes who treat the women in their lives as nothing more than potential sexual exploits.

[@venusharuna4187]

*two assholes not to assholes 🙄🙄🙄🙄

[@imchoosingallthebattles9432]

As someone who’s been the subject of that; for sure yeah. It’s not fun, it’s just super fucking uncomfortable

[@moonstone4893]

@CJ Lister That doesn’t give them any right to “compete” for her and treat her as an object to win

[@kusuossecretgf5401]

@Gilgamesh4238 idk where you saw that but not on this planet man

[@gokuxsephiroth4505]

@Gilgamesh4238 When the dude clearly doesn't give a shit about you as a person - they're just looking you up and down and not really responding to anything you say - yeah, you do feel like nothing but a piece of meat. Just because men and women may compete to be attractive doesn't make that any less of a yucky, unflattering feeling.

[@dCa991]

“One who waves back at Teletubbies” is actually such a scathing roast, I’m glad it has its own word.

[@kittyjeany]

I got a book of german insults and trendy words from 2001-2010 and its absolutely hilarious what kind of shit teens back then made up

[@alexanderjakubsen2198]

The second one isn't a 'neckbeard' story it is the story of a disabled person suffering without the support and help they are entitled to as a human person in need. It isn't funny or cringey its tragic and upsetting. he may be less obviously disabled than his twin but the events described in the story make it apparant he has more subtle obstacles. Que I think you take on it was generally the right one.

[@moniquerodriguez3013]

seriously what the fuck...this one made me sad

[@kawaiichickennugget]

Yeah fr op just reads as so fucking ableist

[@JollyHir]

Yeah. Some adult people do need help getting bathed. And his mother obviously is his carer so I don’t get the point in making him or her feel bad about this. She’s providing him with a basic human necessity.

[@mindovermatterbecomingyour1561]

@@JollyHir I mean op does flat out say that their mom has full custody since they're incapable of living independently hell my best friend is severely disabled & he's 32 & his parents take care of him full time nothing against him he just isn't capable of taking care of himself

[@banquetoftheleviathan1404]

The frustration is understandable from a sibling point of view, just not the parents.

[@kevinb314]

She gave enough details about her family that if anyone who knew her, read that post, they would know exactly who posted it. I doubt there are that many twins on the spectrum, adopted by their aunt, who had her own biological daughter. That would definitely stick out

[@AnastasiaPlantlegs]

Yea, there was information here that probably could have been completely omitted without damaging the message of the story. I hope this doesn't end badly for her....

[@juliusweiss5447]

I know it happens but even with the information given, the odds of anyone she knows seeing that are astronomically low. I agree a lot of info could have been left out, but I doubt she’ll be recognized.

[@tidepodpadthai2633]

Either way it's such an overshare. Like, TMI.

[@ruggiebuggie3195]

'On the spectrum' is an understatement.

[@izstrella]

@@ruggiebuggie3195 · Dude, did you just try to make a joke about autism?

[@kolonarulez5222]

I wouldn't call story 1 a brag bc they're still treating her as a prize to be won. I'd say it's more a NiceGuy™️ story

[@izstrella]

Okay yes, this! I was worried no one else picked up on the awfulness, haha.

[@christopherscroggins5528]

guy whos brother got showered is just super ableist, not saying the brother doesn't have issues but shocker people with issues often need help with basic needs.

[@cryptiecreep]

"I love my family" "Let's call my mom delusional and my brother has horrendous body odor. This is loving."

[@jonathanallard2128]

You can both love something/someone while still acknowledging their faults. It's the healthiest way.

[@CHloE748]

Like someone else said, you can acknowledge the faults of people you love. I think she was going to the internet because she was genuinely concerned and wanted to see if she was right for doing so or not.

[@meanbean1180]

Bro I’m conflicted on the brother one because he is mentally and physically disabled but it’s a little fucked up to call the nonverbal and more physically disabled twin “the evil twin”

[@SM-yz4hi]

OP definitely meant “other twin”. Cue just misread it lol, it happens

[@alexkozliayev9902]

Cue misread "even his twin"

[@neptunegrl3425]

I don't pity them. Mostly because if they were disabled girls and it was a guy being hit on they would make a huge ass deal out of it. Only the story would probably get spread around more and they would say stupid things like, "See guys get abused too!' Like people aren't aware these things can happen to a guy. That's why I lost respect for most humans because she wouldn't waste all that time venting about it if it never happened and there's a lot of people with impairments that don't just touch anyone they want they have rules to follow too. There not above it.

[@werewolfmoney6602]

@@neptunegrl3425 you're combining two separate and distinct stories There was nobody hitting on anybody in the story about the disabled brothers

[@alkahina5458]

Hey Cue, a german girl here. You can easily mix your own spezi out of Cola and Orange Limonade. It is totaly accepted and usual to mix Spezi manually. Spezi is a word in the german dialect bavarian and means Pal. Mixing drinks is quite common here, as you can, for example, order mixes of beer and cola or beer and white limonade in a restaurant.

[@alkahina5458]

Btw. I like how you pronounce German words. It makes me laugh.

[@CHloE748]

My grandmother was born in Bavaria in 1942, I wonder if she would know the term or if it’s a newer one?

[@sparrowfaye5879]

The first story is more a representation of how some men are incapable of viewing women as normal people or just friends. They always expect some romantic or sexual aspect to be attached to it or they just won't talk to you. It's not a flex, it's a story of losing potential friends who only value you for your romantic/sexual appeal.

[@brians1793]

Women are the same way though, just with a much smaller percentage of men. If you're attractive enough it's almost impossible to be friends with girls/women as they inevitably catch feelings for you if they aren't already attracted to you, if you legit only see them like a friend that tends to actually increase their attraction. I was generally considered the most attractive boy in 6th grade(I'm 37 now this is a long time ago) and would get asked out a lot, other times a girl would initiate conversation with me(I could actually be painfully shy and quiet) and I was always a natural with girls, we could talk almost non-stop for 1-2 hours at a time with no awkwardness and girls would feel strongly like I 'get' them, but I actually did because I was just very smart that way. I had that happen several times where they ask me to be their BF before I just gave up trying to be friends with the opposite sex unless it's very casually. I've never been a casual sex type of guy so I've always been celibate outside of relationships and take all that very seriously, it's so frustrating how difficult it is to find women on the same page as a lot of 'single' women have no problem fucking the men they're most attracted to from the ones they're dating, but then wonder why they never get relationships from the men they want. Being a custodian I get first-year teachers that seem obviously attracted to me, it can honestly be really annoying so I can imagine how a lot of women feel when most women think 80% of men are 'unattractive', because I see most women that way lol. I could only really go for more traditional women which are few and far between now.

[@caatko1388]

I visit my brother every six months to give him a bath because no one else will. Granted, it's his gravestone, but the "just giving my 20 year old brother a bath" joke never gets old. That's just going off how old he would be if he was still here though, I don't think it'd be weird to help an 18mo bathe

[@andreakoroknai1071]

that was morbid and wholesome at the same time :)

[@caatko1388]

@@andreakoroknai1071 that's pretty much just me 🥴

[@RainbowFlowerCrow]

Somehow I managed to eat dinner while watching this; I think I'm becoming immune to neckbeard stories thanks to Cue's delivery of these stories!

[@joshuazane3210]

"Someone who waves back at Teletubbies" is an amazing insult. 😂

[@Clownbunnycosplay]

5:35, as an adult who struggles with washing my hair by myself, (due to some disability’s) it would upset me if I found out my brother told the entire internet my struggles

[@V0ltage007]

Op definitely seems like someone who doesn’t understand and doesn’t care to understand how hard life can be for someone with physical/mental health issues.

[@suitov]

Yeah, that one got me thinking of ways to alleviate that issue. I suffer major health issues that sometimes result in me going unbathed for a time. (Lockdown was a blessing in one way, but also didn't challenge my self-care abilities, so I don't know if it really helped!) I work around this by taking advantage of some easily-available products that address the most urgent issues (examples: keeping a stock of cleansing wipes so that I can give my face and torso a quick go-over any time, and always keeping deodorant within reach and prominently placed so that I remember to apply it). The 18yo in the story could (and should) be encouraged to compromise on hygiene. Sounds like bathing and brushing teeth are particular issues, so they could start there. I presume he has his meals brought to him; his poor mother could start to include some chewing gum in a flavour he likes, and have him chew that after the meal. No, it's definitely not brushing, but it's *something* to disrupt the bacterial film on the teeth. Little things like that, meeting the person where they are instead of trying to get them 'normal' all at once, are more realistic goals. Also, this one's gross, but replace toilet paper with those wet toilet wipes if the son is having particular issues keeping that area hygienic. I do hope the mother receives outside help if she's a full-time carer for both boys. Being stuck in that role day in, day out, can indeed make 'weird' things like bathing an adult son seem normal, and it's really important for carers to see people outside the home and be able to ask for help.

[@hopefullyhelping6664]

The eldest brother definitely should be having his Reddit conversation with a therapist rather than the internet, that’s for sure. IDK if one of the twins is mentally ill or mentally/developmentally disabled or both. But that poor mother needs help, she’s taking care of two people approaching adulthood on her own. The eldest brother needs to look past himself and hire a caregiver for the twins if he can. Or at least try to get some assistance to lighten the mother’s workload.

[@ImEverytingPeopleHate]

same here. i'm autistic, and one aspect of autism that tends to get overlooked is some people with autism tend to have poor hygiene. i often struggle when it comes to brushing my teeth, because i'm hypersensitive to the sound and feeling of the the toothbrush, the taste and sting of the toothpaste and mouthwash, and the feeling of dental floss, and it can sometimes be overstimulating for me. honestly, if someone posted about me online, going off on how gross my teeth are, i'd be pissed, because they don't know what's going on in my life.

[@Crem_ate]

Just commenting to say that all of those German snacks are pretty good, and crunchips are absolutely an s-tier snack. I'd smash a bag of those no problem

[@AlSidre]

Peanut Flipps are amazing

[@Solanin0803]

Bro, Hans has some good taste. What the hell. Lebkuchen are eh, but the rest, geez, good stuff.

[@mommakimmins5554]

They do sound tasty

[@wisnoe]

Crunchips are just regular potato chips though

[@Nerobyrne]

@@wisnoe compared to Lays they're the bomb ^^ Maybe Lays are crap in their native country, but in Germany they're actually expensive.

[@lustiferius]

The second story: The mom did the right thing. Might not be the best thing but at least the brother is clean

[@somerandomahole7159]

Yeah. That's what I was going to say.

[@razzytack]

In the first story the men seem pretty entitled to the girl in the story which seems pretty neckbeardy. What normal guy assumes that some random girl will start dating him just because he got rid of his own friend as a "rival". Men who fight their own friends over a girl who isn't even interested are absolutely neckbeards in my book

[@SpookiCooki]

Either that or nice guys.

[@bobbybutler8897]

@@SpookiCooki please dont just just throw around those terms theres already to much misinformation

[@alexkozliayev9902]

Even if it's not very good behavior, i'd say it's common in any type of man (and woman too, sometimes), so i wouldn't categorize it as something particularly neckbeardy

[@razzytack]

@@alexkozliayev9902 just because it's common doesn't make it less neckbeardy. Lots of teenage boys act like neckbeards and when they act like it, they should be called out on it, the only reason it's common is because no one tells than it's bad

[@razzytack]

@@alexkozliayev9902 for example, a lot of common neckbeards tropes used to be common in everyday life like not taking no for an answer, constantly harassing a woman who has no interest in you used to be encouraged, it's only because women started calling it out for the gross behavior that it was that now we consider it neckbeardy behavior

[@SomeNameWithGambitInIt]

my first language is german and the way you pronounced Lebkuchen is the most precious thing I have heard in my entire life

[@andreakoroknai1071]

also Spe -zzie :D I'm not German but I speak a little

[@Li8aGun92]

haha i thought that toooo

[@epic7224]

I love how optimistic Cue is, it's actually kind of sweet. I tend to just think the worst of ppl, I could learn from cue!

[@pollypockets508]

Cue rocks

[@ricebeansrockroll882]

It's one of the things I love with Cue, he makes me better

[@indeedken]

Damn Cue this is awesome I love seeing you going back to all stuff you kind of started out doing I feel like you're just so good at those

[@ShinyLP]

Why does the German one seem so fake? OP mentions it's in Germany a billion time, guy's name is literally Hans (very stereotypical old German name, tho very very very rare in Germany), eats Spezi Kinder (German brands) and Crunchips (idk why he says its some German food. Its just the same chips you got in America, the brand's name is crunchips), and the neckbeard also loves military (stereotypical for Germans). And then there's a million more mentions of how this is taking place in Germany. I mean OP literally posted that its a German neckbeard in the title I think a guy is just craving a Germany trip real bad rn

[@jadmohsen8880]

It’s also how they said “Germany places less emphasis on personal hygiene than America”… like what?? Wtf kind of dumb shit is that to say? Literally not true in the slightest

[@ShinyLP]

@@jadmohsen8880 yea I mean this guys obviously never spent a day in Europe and is just larping tho it does make me wonder how he came up with Teletubbyzurückwinker lmaoo

[@pollypockets508]

I did not know these German stereotypes. Lol. And paprika chips don't seem very American. Lol

[@ToastGreeting]

He also needs to use some pronouns. When you're referring to numerous people of course it's necessary to use names, but for goodness sake just say "he" and throw in a "Hans" every 6 sentences INSTEAD OF EVERY FUCKING SENTENCE

[@bobbybutler8897]

@@jadmohsen8880 i mean they do tho my Americans freinds will literally gawk at me if i havent showered in 2 days but my German buddies are unfazed

[@3B-]

Cue, you been killin it man!!! I remember when I found your channel and I can say I’ve watched your vids almost every single day!! Thanks so much man!

[@gingerincoffee]

Cue I know you get so many comments you probably won’t even see this, but I just want you to know I’m so happy you’re uploading so much lately, I always get a little hit of dopamine when I got a notification for a new video from you ❤️❤️❤️

[@andreakoroknai1071]

Europe places less emphasis on hygiene than America does WHAT?! (I'm an American-Hungarian citizen so I have an idea about the topic) where in the hell did this stereotype come from?

[@kenmasleftear634]

The cue was too stunned to speak

[@Kingcrab0]

I love Cue's pronunciation of lebkuchen. XD On a side note, lebkuchen are delicious.

[@yellowhouse4911]

Same! When he said that I had to stop the video and try to find the word to read it until he said "like gingerbread" and realised what he actually said lmao

[@godidontknow]

it was so cute 🥺😆

[@lasmirandadennsiewillja9435]

Thanks to AITA, my instant reaction to twins mentioned at any point in a reddit story is "Twins. Of course. FAKE!" Also, the "neckbeard" bathed by mom isn't a neckbeard story, it's a story about a parent having to care for two disabled young men and probably struggling to find the right balance between giving them a good quality of life and giving them healthy challenges to live the most independent, satisfying life that's possible for them. Next story: Europe places less emphasis on personal hygiene than America does. From an allegedly German girl. Yeah, no. Some European countries don't condemn body hair as much as US Americans do, especially when it comes to teens, but that's a cosmetic issue, not hygiene. There's a reason why the conversation about circumcision usually goes "But how do European boys and men ever keep their no-no parts clean with that icky skin attached?" - "By teaching them from a young age how to shower properly, their genitals included, maybe?!" Also, few Europeans would say "well, Europe does this and that" in a context like this since European countries aren't a social and cultural hive mind. Also², "Hans" for a German male character in a story written by an alleged German, set in Germany, sounds like such a generic pick of a German name a non-German would typically make. Lebkuchen (btw there's a variation of different cookies based on Lebkuchen, not the one single there can only be one Lebkuchen) is usually available once they start selling Christmas sweets, so, around October. Spezi is nothing unusual, neither is Lebkuchen, nor "Hans" but all of it together sounds so painfully like someone either visited Germany for a short time or watched a couple of "Americans test German sweets and snacks" videos on youtube and thought "Hey, I got an idea, I'll pretend to be a German girl wearing the Lederhosen and braided hair who knows a Hans and the plot twist is, despite being from the country of Europe, he isn't stinky!" 😂 Also, Spezi is nice and it's what you get when you mix cola or Pepsi with orange lemonade (Fanta, it's called Fanta. A German would know that). But if someone wants to drink it regularly, they'll buy it pre-mixed, and the one brand product that sells it pre-mixed is called "Mezzo Mix." Also something a German would know AND I'm pretty sure if this Hans is such an elitist Spezi connaisseur that he mixes it himself every day, this OOP would have mentioned it since that would stand out as a quirk. To be clear, I don't have an issue with non-Americans/non-English people circumventing country-specific terms (like Fanta) but the way it's written it doesn't sound like this OOP really knows what they're talking about. Sure, they tried to pull the "am poor uwu non-native speaker" cared and would probably point at it if called out but the English is too solid for that to apply. TL;DR: pretty sure that one's fake, too.

[@ledarbyromeo9667]

Hydrated and reporting for duty.

[@Justaguyuguys]

So my mom forcefully bathed my 16 year old brother once. And only once. He wouldn't take a shower so she decided that the embarrassment of her doing it would get him in line. She was right, he showers atleast 4 times a week now. Not perfect but better than once a month or 2. Maybe this girls mother was trying the same thing and it backfired on her and now she don't know what to do.

[@RainbowFlowerCrow]

The story about Hans wasn't so bad, and I hope that OP knows that they wrote it very well!

[@FrankandJoe3]

"I want to go to Germany to be a German fat guy" made me laugh so hard. What a mood

[@abrahamthemoonslayer6803]

First story is definitely a neck beard combo story. They truly do thing “if they were the last boy on earth”. That out of their actions a girl will always choose.

[@TBG1]

I've lived in Germany my whole life and I've never heard the word ,,Teletubbyzurückwinker" until now. German surely is an interesting language

[@suitov]

Sir, I protest! I am not a "merry man"! Worf is an absolute legend, but Friar Tuck Data is underrated.

[@GothMermaidGamer]

That line made my dad crack up when we watched that episode XD

[@marvincool3744]

"Please forgive my English" *Proceeds to write multiple paragraphs in perfect English*

[@moonstone4893]

I was suspicious of this too

[@yddub1212]

Dang the best kind of stories. Good to see cue back for more.

[@HusbandofLois]

Anyone who goes that long without cleaning themselves is either extremely depressed, maladjusted, or disabled in some way. Like most people in these kind of stories, they need help and kindness, not a load of internet strangers bullying them and going "serves you right"

[@emittlame8095]

Hans isn't afraid to be himself

[@interlude776]

Thank you for the consistent uploads!

[@thatonetimeonething]

8:23 The pronunciation of “lebkuchen” has my sides in orbit “Layb-chew-ken” hahahah

[@beefykeith48]

"neckbeard roommate in germany" *immediately thinks of that german guy with the anime body pillow in that one cringetopia video Cue did*

[@carriemindplsable]

The right answer (in most cases) for the disabled twins is generally to try to find a decent group home. They will have a chance to make friends (and maybe even have girlfriends) learn independence skills, have goals to work towards and have the dignity of feeling they grew up and left home. There will also be much more for them to do besides stare at video games. Many homes hook their residents up with simple jobs, have games and social activities. Some group home residents become adept enough that they can go on to their own disability apartments. Yes, you have to be careful which group home you chose but good ones are out there. My sister was mentally disabled and she lived in group homes (she passed away from congestive heart failure pretty young, nothing to do with the group homes). My niece works in an excellent group home and they take their residents on fun trips in the community every week. Social Security disability pays for the home.

[@Sulucnumoh420]

Holy shit....I put the vid on and heard my user handle. You the man cue!

[@MyraMabry]

Cue you’re one of the only KZbinrs I put some trust in. Not to say you can’t ever fuck up. I just like how you seem to stay true to yourself

[@someguy4384]

Here's the one thing I don't get. I hate smelling bad. Like, I get that sometimes I do. After a hard day's work or whatever I smell like a greasy pig boy. But I go home and scrub myself clean for 15 minutes and come out smelling like coconuts, pine trees, or whatever Dr. Squatch soap I decided to use.

[@RaspBerryPies]

I am like this too. However when my depression hit it's all time low I *couldn't* shower I really wanted to because I love the water and I love smelling clean and it helps me sleep to shower and shave before bed... but I just couldn't do it. I think that's part of the reason so many of these people don't show ever but maybe it isn't. I will say if anyone you know suddenly changes their hygiene or their eating patterns make sure they're doing okay mentally it's most likely not just "them being lazy" like so many assume.

[@alexkozliayev9902]

10:50 btw, moves from MGS are legit, Kojima and co went through a little bit of training to understand how a military spy would move

[@BZgA]

Old School Cue is back! So awesome! Your upload rate atm is 🔥

[@megand12345]

If the guy is capable of bathing himself then it's his responsibility. He's not doing it himself out of laziness, he literally said that

[@Yotesoba]

Sometimes oversharing is nessesarry to get good life advice. Like you said, cue, it's a very difficult situation and honestly where else would you go for answers to a situation that youre lost in

[@Azby64]

That Teletubby insult is GORGEOUS and I never want it to escape my memory.

[@honeybelle1203]

The Hans story bothers me quite a bit because I would not classify him as a neckbeard. It really sounds like he's just a fat guy who likes nerdy stuff like gaming and anime, which none of that is a bad thing combined or on their own. I can somewhat appreciate their concern for his diet but it's really not OP's job to police whether or not a grown man eats his veggies. It sounds more like he's just vibing and OP is mad about it because he likes stuff that bad people also happen to like.

[@Ammanthiel]

I agree completely. OP putting him down for liking video games and anime really bugs me, liking those things doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a neck beard. It also sounds like Hans didn’t do anything wrong except be a little strange and socially awkward.

[@hinamori857]

I’m super conflicted about the second story… I can’t say why, but it just doesn’t feel right and idk the mom doesn’t seem that insane? Like I know she didn’t go into it too much, but I just don’t see it from the story.

[@SM-yz4hi]

OP comes across as judgmental more than anything. Their brother clearly just needs help managing his disability

[@ElanoreHour]

I know other people have commented but the second story is LITERALLY just a disabled person getting help. And the "I want to go to Germany and be a fat guy" I relate.

[@izstrella]

In regard to the first story, I think the Neckbeard part is that both guys just assumed whoever won their "competition" would automatically get to sleep with the woman (or should I say, "the female") without them asking her first if she was even interested in EITHER of them. Also...are we supposed to spend more than $30 on shoes, haha?

[@sageknightly]

I'm so happy you make content so often now Cue! I will drink so much water 4 u :]

[@cascadianrangers728]

knife fighting is excellent exercise, but it's hard to practice alone

[@Aciawarrior]

German here. We have an insulted which goes like this:"Hast du Lack gesoffen?" ( Have you drunken Paint?)

[@eoinlittle320]

"Snake, try to remember the basics of CQC.... " *Flails around, shits himself and drinks a cup of Spezi*

[@legend7951]

Coming back and watching some of the old vids, I hope you come back sometime, I loved watching these. They made me feel better about being a loser, at least I'm not these guys.

[@LeeAllanSpades]

Sometimes you can find Spezi in Wegmans under the name Mezzo Mix, which is what it is sold as outside of Germany. And yes, it is amazing.

[@oriana5979]

I feel weird that I was in the bathtub when this video popped up

[@HobieInTheBox]

Second story: the mom doesn't know what to do NOW because she failed to raise her son all this time. Raising kids isn't easy but OP turned out a whole lot better than her son, so this issue is on the mom now.

[@GloomyFish]

"I wanna go to Germany just to be a German fat guy" - cuestar 2021

[@Li8aGun92]

you can afford to drink a lot here, that can also make you fat, aside from becoming alcoholic lol

[@buttondoddles3798]

The second story, I'm about to go into a line of work were we look after mentally disabled people without family. You can get assistance that come to the home and help, most of us get payed to socialise with people that are struggling, we make activities catered to what skills they need to learn, in many places assistence workers are free to families that need the help, I think ops family needs to look into it

[@homeygfunkoffacherryfruitl4971]

Yooo the German story takes me back to when I was in the army, especially the part about Spezi. Literally just coke and orange fanta but it's soooo good.

[@ddenisehhoy8369]

The solution to your son not bathing is to put your foot down. If he comes out of the bath dirty, make him go back in. Don't give the game back until he's actually clean.

[@samantha2128]

“I wanna go to Germany just to be a German fat guy” sent me today, it’s not even 8am

[@strawberrydingdong4097]

Just wanted to point out that the existence of a god/deity isn't disproven by thermodynamics, all it would require is an entity that is either a higher dimension than we can perceive, or so massive that the loss of matter would be negligible. Agnostic.

[@thememester1190]

“his evil twin who is nonverbal and barely capable of walking”

[@SuzanneRush]

The Hans story was 100% written by an American. Noone outside the US would use American spelling (apologise/apologize etc.), freely use 'dollars' for monetary value, and make cringe-fake statements like "Europeans don't value hygiene as much as Americans". Not sure the point, given it was a pretty weak story and the location didn't matter, probably some high-schooler who learned the German insult and wanted an excuse to use it.

[@MissCaraMint]

I’m gonna doubt the spelling one. We are exposed to so much American spelling on the internet and before that in books and TV that honestly it’s understandable to mix up what is British and what is American spelling.

[@Turbo_Waitress]

That background image! Cue is not a merry man!

[@Smidgefishh]

recently started watching startrek with my fiance, and I am gonna be honest I was not ready for Worf, Data and Geordi to be full on ready for a DND session LOL

[@DoctorShmoctor]

The whiplash of emotions when I saw the Star Trek screenshot in the background

[@joban4963]

"One who waves back to Teletubbies" is definitely the funniest thing I've ever heard an Atheist call a normal person.

[@thehaveninthehand]

Dane here, have mine; Satan æd mig! Used as an expletive, it translates to "Satan eat me" xD

[@PANTHERESSDARK]

i’m german american and i love lebkuchen😍😍😍very popular around christmas

[@raymondleggs5508]

"He will SOIL HIMSELF while playing" 😳😳😄😆😆😆😆😱😱😱💀💀💀💀

[@zzcolby27]

Hans is my spirit animal. Absolute Chad.

[@ruddiko]

That first story tho, women generally dont brag about two men fighting over her and deceiving her and plotting to get her, that's def a more nice guy thing than neckbeard, the post didn't even sound braggy, come on Cue

[@Cuestar]

i misread that one for sure. I was makin some extra jokes because the post didn't belong in the sub, but took a swing and a miss on that one

[@c0niine]

Hans seems goofy as hell lmao I like him

[@_Dark222Angel_]

the intro made me spit out my ravioli ! lmao

[@ilxveblood]

8:25 the hailed spezi 😍😍

[@themonsterundermystairs4272]

wait, americans don‘t have paprika chips? those are the most popular flavour in my country

[@user-cp5ii9bi9h]

First girl isn’t a pick me, she’s dealing with a completely relevant issue. Straight up, it’s like a complete lack of honoring another persons bodily autonomy.. dudes seeing her as ~pussy~ and just needing an empty room to get the job done, her input isn’t needed 💀

[@randomgamer4048]

“One who waves back to teletubbies”

[@carolynjackson785]

Finally a neck bread story with Cue.

[@mommat794]

I feel that mom's pain. My oldest son was horrible 😢

[@henryziegler6405]

"I want to go to germany just to be a german fat guy" hell yeah😂

[@Shnozzler]

I would definitely wave back if one of a teletubby wave to me

[@astphaire]

I feel like for the first story, there's some people that get so deeply involved in neckbeard stories that they perceive ANY flirtation or relationships as creepy and awkward. Kinda sad for them!

[@robgrubb420]

what that girl with twin brothers and a crazy mom needs to do is turn them in to adult protective services, turning a blind eye to that is wrong step up and make the right call it isn't going to be easy, but they will all be way better off.

[@kittyjeany]

I love how the hans story ended with "well i kinda want him as my roommate again" Thats actually wholesome But yeah he sounds like a genuine fun dude. Id love to meet him. Sure, hes not without fault, but i feel like he would be fun company. Also great choice of snacks. Spezi is peak shit

[@moniquerodriguez3013]

the whole thing about hans seems like straight up jealousy sweaty💅

[@medusagorgo5146]

In Germany, the toilets aren’t like American ones, they have a shelf where in our toilets have the hole. The hole to go down the drain is in the front. So Hans’s stools would be on that shelf and if they are that big, then the water would have a difficult time going down the drain…lol, ick