grief during the holidays, mourning is a must after a loss, and how gratitude is not instant

Our sorrows drew us together. I was going mental from the death of my father around the time of my postpartum. And it progressed further into depression and even passive suicidal thoughts because of my problems as a wife and "church leader." Because those experiences made me talk about them for the purpose of making people feel seen and heard and known that it also brought Nathan into our life. He is a great gift after my bout of misery. And you will know why when you see this vlog. A raw and rather casual account of what it's like to lose a mother because of and in the time of Covid, contemplations on grief as differently experienced, how non-grief is detrimental and mourning is a must, and finding hope, healing, even gratitude, even after such loss. I hope this makes all of you who aren't having the best of time and life at this time feel a little less alone tonight. Sorry Christmases are always going to be a reality, but by the end of this video I actually say why Christmas is still Christmas even when it isn't merry.
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