Growing up Korean American & My Struggles

I wanted to share a little bit about my experience growing up Korean American in the midwest amongst very little diversity and some of the struggles I experienced as an Asian American.
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TAG QUESTIONS:
1. Which ethnicity are you? 2:58
2. Which generation are you? 4:35
3. What is the first experience where you felt that demarcation of being a minority/different? 4:58
4. Were you always proud of your heritage or was there a time you rejected it? 7:46
5. How has being Asian American affected your relationship with your parents? 9:52
6. Can you speak your language? 14:32
7. How do you feel about your heritage now? Do you identify with it? 16:04
8. What is your favorite thing about being Asian American/your heritage? 19:12

[@Crismsu11]

Hi Jen! My mom is half Japanese, and I also experienced some of things you talked about experiencing while being in school. I grew up in the South. So, like you, there weren’t many children that looked like me. Thank you for sharing your story. ❤😊

[@wawawalrus]

You were the first youtuber I really followed when I was in my teens (I am 30 now). I loved your makeup tutorials because they worked for me and our eye shape is pretty similar! Other asian makeup youtubers either had deeper eye creases or were too monolidded. I have that “single + 1/2 lid” so it’s somewhere in between. I also loved that you did korean style and kpop makeup. I still use a lot of your recommended products to this day (like UD primer potion). I’d love to hear more of your korean american stories. It could be a series. I’m still waiting for that Flower makeup tutorial! Hope you post it soon 🌹☺️❤️

[@nahkajima]

I'm Japanese Brazilian and can relate to all your struggles. Thank you so much for opening your heart and making this video, Jen!

[@pauline999]

Hi Jen, I am Chinese and I live in France and I wanna thank you for making this video. I went through most of the things you talked about and I feel understood. Please make more content around this topic!!

[@mialee1268]

Thanks for sharing your story! It's been very interesting to hear about your parents...as my parents were met by a matchmaker back in the days. It wasn't a common thing but it still did happen. What you went through as a child being "that asian girl" was probably a difficult thing but I do believe that has made you a strong woman you are now. So happy to see you growing in this community ❤

[@AllisonNicoleOrganics-ip4db]

Thanks Jen, appreciate you making the distinction between a Korean American reared by Korean Immigrant parents vs Korean Adoptees. Because there’s a HUGE difference. ❤️💓💕🇺🇸

[@shelleywu9321]

Hi Jen, I love your videos. I was sad you weren’t uploading as often. Excited to see regular uploads.

[@lifeofash425]

Jen, I've been following your channel for a very very long time. My first video was your No Makeup Makeup Tutorial from 9 years ago. For the record, I'm 47 years old and I have no idea how to apply makeup on my hooded monolid eyes back then. There aren't many video tutorials for my type of eyes, apart from those that shows how to draw thicker eye liner or smoky eyes. Since then, I've learned so much from you...from bronzer to blushes, etc.. I'm still watching you till this day 🥰

[@stephanied7434]

Thank you for sharing! I was adopted very young and ignored the fact I'm Korean American for a very long time. I never told anyone I was "bullied" in elementary school because I didn't even realize it was happening until I was older and looked back and realized how bad it was sometimes. I even considered getting eye surgery when I was in college. I try now to embrace it and also trying to learn more about the Korean culture! I hope to visit someday.

[@asianmaria]

LOVED this video, want to see more like this for sure ❤❤❤

[@damnitfinni]

Thank you for sharing your stories!! ❤❤❤

[@ellec968]

You’re the first person I watched to learn how to do make up on monolids, before that I had no clue what to do! So thank you!!!! A slightly different perspective though - being 1st generation immigrant myself, I do not get offended when people asked me where I was from, because I actually came from another country. My experience has been that most people had no ill intentions when they asked me that question. It’s certainly a different burden for subsequent generations who are born and raised here to be asked that same question repeatedly. I can see how that can be annoying and even hurtful.

[@stephh1228]

I can relate to this so, SO much as a Korean American. Thank you for making this and sharing this. I pretty much went through everything you did. The micro aggressions started since middle school for me. I was bullied so bad to the point I hated being Asian. Apparently if you’re not white or black, you don’t speak English and can’t be born here 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’ve matured from that and absolutely feel proud to be Korean American!

[@miasohns634]

I love all of your videos, but this one is my favorite. I could relate to so much of this, as a half Korean born and raised in another place with no diversity at the time (New Hampshire). The daily "Where are you REALLY from?" could get so exhausting. I'm also excited that the rest of the world has finally caught up with so much of what Korean culture has to offer. K-Drama, K-Beauty, K-Pop, and of course the delicious Korean food that used to be difficult to find in American restaurants. Thank you for sharing the pictures of your kids in their Korean clothing. They're adorable and they will grow up proud of their heritage. You're an awesome mom. Thank you for this channel and for giving other Asian Americans someone to look up to.

[@SavannahVu1985]

I admire and appreciate you so much! ❤thank you for sharing your story. I am Vietnamese Australian and I can relate 1000%! I can speak Vietnamese but only just normal conversations, not in depth or as much as I would want. I also talk to my mum in broken Vietnamese and it gets so frustrating at times. I was born in Australia to immigrant parents who barely speak any English. I know exactly what you are trying to say/portray. In the end, you are a beautiful soul, selfless and loving/caring and that’s all that matters. ❤

[@Jenna-mw9nr]

Wow, Jen. Thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing your story! I am a Korean adoptee and could relate to your experience with people asking “where I am from.”

[@laxer123]

sold baby 🤥

[@pop2popz]

Thank you for sharing, I can totally relate to a lot of what you said and I think you really voiced it well ("it" meaning the issues that a lot of Asian Americans go through and typically keep under the wraps). Most of us aren't good at saying it out loud, so this is really appreciated! There are definitely a lot of different struggles, especially with the generational gap + cultural gap with our parents. Though I am fluent in Mandarin Chinese because my parents only spoke it at home, as a child I was conversational only and my thoughts were only in English. As a high schooler I often walked the halls of school not thinking about what I looked like, but when I went to the bathroom and saw myself in the mirror there was my Asian face staring back at me. I struggled with identity for a long time and I still do, but over the years I've gotten to know myself and my culture better, and now I think that I'm quite fortunate to be bilingual and really appreciate having 2 cultures. People who are monolingual with only American culture are really missing out on the strength, beauty and depth of cultures that have persisted for thousands of years. In school we were taught to be the same and color blind, but what they really should have been teaching was how to appreciate each other for all of our differences, and that people don't want to be ignored for that part of themselves that makes them unique. Anyway, I could go on and on. I hope you can make more videos on this, I think it would mean a lot to others who are or have been in the same situation.

[@Marimo_-qj6kb]

Thanks for sharing your story. My boys (3 and 5) are German-Japanese and we live in Germany. I loved when you said, you want your kids to feel full of both cultures. We try really hard to integrate Japanese culture in our daily life and meet up with other families like us❤

[@marianhreads]

Thank you for sharing this. ❤ Your channel has helped me process and embrace my own biracial identity in a way I didn't growing up.

[@user-pz2cg6tm8g]

I'm Korean and I live in Korea, Seoul. Really funny thing is I'm studying English by your video. I wanna say thanks for your a lots of amazing contents and your frank stories. ❤

[@terrakazama]

I have that exact same shirt! I’m half Korean/half Filipino and benefited from growing up in the SF Bay Area, where Asians were already prevalent in the 90s (I’m just a few years younger). This was such an interesting video and really appreciate hearing about your experience.

[@janinenakazawa6990]

Hi Jen! I am Japanese American 3rd generation, married to a Japanese American, and we live in California. I can relate to much of what you said but California is more diverse. I appreciate your open, honest perspective on being Asian that you shared with us. I enjoy all your videos and am glad I found your channel! Thank you !!

[@laxer123]

🤣🤣🤣

[@tandykwon]

Hi Jen, I'm a 1.5 generation Korean - just wanted to leave this comment for the first time to thank you! You were the first youtuber that allowed me to feel "seen" while growing up in an American school; I remember following your make-up videos for prom (I'm 30 now) since the "trending" make-up at the time never really catered to our eye shapes. It just means so much to hear you openly speak about your experiences growing up as Korean American - here to support 10 more videos like this if you end up making them! 🥰PS. Your Korean is great!

[@laxer123]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jaykaiser1111]

Proud of you! 자랑스럽습니다

[@Lafalot54]

I love this video so much and thank you for being so open and honest about your personal life. I'm adopted from China and I grew up in Montana, so I related to a lot of what you said. I hate when people ask where I'm from, and when I say "Montana" they say "no where are you FROM?" Like just ask me what my ethnicity is. Why don't people know how to ask that question in words of what they actually mean??? There were barely any Asians in my city, and luckily there were two other Chinese adoptees who I knew, but I was homeschooled so I didn't have many friends. Now I go to school in California and no one asks me where I'm from because there are so many Asians and I want to stay because of the diversity

[@fumikaokano796]

Hi Jen!!! I always love to watch your KZbin video since when I was in high school.(Now I'm 31 yrs! lol) And this is my first comment. I just wanna say BIG THANK YOU for being KZbinr and being Korean American. Your video make me cheer up every time ESPECIALLY this video. Thank you for sharing your story!! LOVE U from Japan🇯🇵

[@tarakishiyama2696]

Thank you for sharing! I love it and can relate. I am a Korean adoptee to a caucasion family. I love learning about Korean culture. I love Korean food too! 😊

[@amyliles]

Hi Jen. I enjoyed this video! Where is your hanbok top from?

[@jeeezy4307]

Aww if you have more to say so why not make a part 2! 🤗 I’ve been a silent fan for so long, commenting here and there, but this one resonated with me so much that I had to give it a like! Jen! We have mutual friends, and I really hope to meet you one day ❤

[@Alice-qe7bv]

Es ist als ob Du über meine Erfahrungen sprichst. Ich bin über 60 Jahre alt und habe eine koreanische Mutter, der ich sehr ähnlich sehen und einen deutschen Vater. Absolut die gleichen Fragen haben mich mein Leben lang begleitet. Ich spreche akzentfrei deutsch. Schon als Kind wurde ich immer gefragt: woher kommst Du ? Wie hast Du so gut deutsch gelernt? usw. Ich kann Dich sehr gut verstehen, da ich es bis heute erlebe. Viele Menschen sind erstaunlich ungebildet und unhöflich!

[@IchigoHimeTV]

Hey, Jen I have been a follower to your channel for almost 10 years now! I started being into asian beauty gurus around 2012 looking for info and tutorials from people who looked more like me. I am japanese brazilian, and up until my 10-11 years me and my brother were the only asian kids on a very small town. Needless to say, I was also bullied a lot and there were times when I also wished I was caucasian, blonde with blue eyes (I know it sounds weird to think the beauty standard in Brazil was blonde with blue eyes, but the 90's had very little diversity indeed). When I was 11 I moved to a slightly bigger city, where there's a japanese community and during my teenage years me and my friends (non-asian) loved to go to the festivals (matsuri) and I had a lot more contact with the culture. After college I went to São Paulo, where it is said that the biggest japanese population outside of Japan is located. I am very happy to witness how different things are now compared to when I was a child. My daughter (7yo) never once experienced bullying regarding her appearance and I also try to break the cycle of toxic behaviours my parents, mostly my mother, have and had (my father is not asian). It take me a long time to realize that my parents could have hurt me AND done the very best they could. I can also be grateful AND do things differently than they did. Thanks for sharing. Lots of love to you and your beautiful family.

[@aepenguin2612]

Hi Jen!! I started following you over 10 years ago because of your monolid makeup tutorials. Being Chinese American and growing up in (very white) Wyoming, I completely relate to everything you talked about! I also remember feeling SO elated when I found your monolid tutorial because for the first time in my life there was a makeup tutorial for someone who looks like me! When I was young, I was always so frustrated that I couldn't find any makeup tips for myself at all. American makeup tips were for white girls, and all the Asian makeup tips were for girls with double lids. I'm super happy you're still creating content after all this time. I've always been proud of being Asian American, but you helped me become proud of my monolids as well!! So thank you! And always stay you! 💞

[@laxer123]

oh a white chinese 🤣🤣🤣

[@blueorange0]

구독한지 몇년쯤 된거같아요 항상 영상 잘보고있어요 같은 한국인으로써 이런 이야기를 들으니 더 가까워진 느낌이 듭니다

[@treyes7289]

Girl from Hawaii. I'm Filipino American. I can totally relate as I have expereience the same. Love this video. Thank you for being so real, open and honest.

[@laxer123]

🤣🤣🤣pirpina

[@crystal2484]

The Korean 1988 Olympics is my favourite Olympics, perhaps, coz it was the first Olympics that I was old enough to understand what went on. The theme song Hand in Hand is still my favourite of all. Some of the stars, Carl (before that Ben), Flo, & Greg.

[@itsAJClark]

Wow, this video really hit differently. As a Korean American that was adopted into a Caucasian family, I never identified with my Korean heritage. My parents tried to cultivate it and expose me as much as they could, but I didn’t have a desire or appreciation to learn about it and embrace it. As I’ve become an adult, there are times when I feel like I’m stuck between two worlds, particularly when “legit” Koreans are asking me questions about myself and my family (clearly expecting me to be “legit” too). It makes me feel like an imposter sometimes. Such an interesting and delicate balance.

[@Mina77pink]

Oh wow Jen thank you for this amazing video. It just is sooooo relatable and exactly how I felt growing up as a second gen Korean-Canadian. Always felt so torn and like having a double identity. The constant qualifying of what my ethnicity is and the racist experiences both malicious and ignorant. Thank you for sharing this here. It’s wonderfully articulated ❤❤❤❤❤

[@tcastillo2296]

Ditto

[@BonoCocoK]

정말 달변가(fluent speaker)시네요. Self haircut 영상 보러 왔다가 우연히 이 것도 보게되었어요. 20년 넘게 외국 거주하는데 여기서 태어나고 자란 딸에게 너무나 큰 도움이 되는 내용이라 링크 보내줬어요. 한복 입은 가족 사진 정말 다복해보여요. 건강하고 행복하시길… ❤

[@dymin825]

this video was so relatable jen!! your makeup tutorials for monolids are exactly how i found you about 10 years ago❤❤ thanks for the great content as usual

[@brendalai4927]

Jen, im from Singapore. Kindly tell me the name of the bras you mentioned can be bought in Singapore. Thank you.

[@nina-xw6ku]

Enjoyed this one!! I have a similar story....my parents are from India.

[@mikaylaedeen4305]

How is the Korean immersion course going for your kids?

[@topgunjinhyung]

Hi jen. I moved to the usa when i was 32. I have a daughter like you. thanks for this video.

[@lilaznkami]

Such a relatable video. I subbed such a long time ago BECAUSE you were one if not the only person who had tutorials for "me" (asian eyes). Please make more Q&A videos like this.. ❤️❤️

[@visabel92]

I was born in the Philippines and lived in Florida when I was 1…? My dad came here in the states back in the early 80s to work as a nurse. He said he was part of a contract where he can work as a nurse while my mom stayed in the Philippines with my older brother at the time. My dad worked super hard to give us the life we had but growing up was SO difficult. I was like the only Asian kid in the school and kids were just freaking awful. I legit had no idea I was different until they pointed it out and being bullied sucks. I mean, I literally begged my parents to let me stay home just so I wouldn’t get hurt. What a life honestly. I’m super proud of my heritage. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. 🇵🇭

[@RT-cr7rg]

I want them to not feel like half….of anything 👍🏻 Well said, totally agree

[@Mongmongwalwal]

한국어가 많이 나오는 영상도 보고싶어요!🙂

[@ronaldlee3537]

Hi Jen, if you grew up in the Midwest, you definitely experienced some racism. My BIL who is 100% Japanese and born in the USA, visited KSC, KS side, and he is a very easy going guy, and he noticed racism right away, this was like 20 years ago. I think if you grew up on either coasts, it would have been eerier on you socially. As for myself I am 100% Chinese, grew up in a small town in the Mojave Desert(100 miles N. of Los Angeles), and I personally didn't notice any "racial adversity" until I move to L.A. for college. Today I am retired and living in a quiet suburb of L.A., and there are many mixed raced people here, both adults and children. In my circle of friends, there is a Korean and Caucasian couple who has a beautiful mixed raced daughter. The ethnic culture in Southern Calif is very diverse, we have mixture Mexican, Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean, French restaurants etc.

[@zhenshan456]

I immigrants to US from China when I was 28. I think during my growing up period I don't have the diversity culture exposure. But kids at 7-8 years old always fight with each other right? here they tease you by your race, but when I grow up they tease you about your over weight, too short too tall. Always sth to tease about that's kids! I was not really bothered. Also people asked me where I originally come from I was always said China and pride as a Chinese Americans. There is always some dark side of each country but we made the choice to spend time on things worth our time.

[@ricebunnies29]

Wasn't planning on crying on a Monday morning, but here I am

[@tinatieken8840]

Truthfully, you are American of Korean descent. I was born in Florida and because we have so many different cultures here, we didn’t do that to anyone. I can’t vouch for those who moved here from other states.

[@586bomin]

The question: where are you from? It's utterly unfair and frankly ridiculous 😒 ❤Love you Jenni thank you for being here❤

[@WhiteWolf126]

Totally reasonable question. Touch some grass, weirdo.

[@SooyeonC09]

I just recently visited korea for the first time at 30 yrs old. It was fun but felt weird being there because everyone looked like me, but the way they talked was so different. I didn’t sound like them, and they easily knew I wasn’t “korean” korean. A lot of times the waiters and staff would just switch and speak English to me, even though I clearly understood everything they said and responded back in korean with “a Seoul accent” as best as I could. It felt like I didn’t truly belong there, but also living in the South US, I also don’t “belong” here either. Being American Korean is truly a different breed, where I am not fully Korean but also not American, and it’s such a gray area of living.

[@laxer123]

🤣🤣🤣🤣is something wrong with being korean ?

[@AllisonNicoleOrganics-ip4db]

I was adopted from Korea so when l was in Korea just like here Native Koreans would ask me if l was Chinese or Japanese. 😂😂😂😂😂

[@AllisonNicoleOrganics-ip4db]

Oh 1 more thing there’s a documentary called, “Some where in the middle”. Where you’re not fully Asian or fully American but somewhere in the middle. 💕❤️💓

[@user-yi3st7no2n]

15:15 jen 언니❤ 한국말 정말 잘 해요! 한국으로 여행도 오구 행복했으면 좋겠어요! - 한국의 구독자가

[@seribaek402]

Would be Touchy but would you make a video about racism when you grew up?

[@kiwifruitkl]

I think people who have gone through some kind of basic schooling, even if it's just a few days in elementary school / primary school in the country of origin can easily answer the question: "Where are you from?" and that answer will immediately satisfy the asker. These people have a lot of memories in the other country, and as a recent transplant, they are literally a foreigner. Also, I think people in China are actually much more explicit about this kind of information. If they see someone with blonde hair and blue eyes, then that person must be (1) one of the ethnic minorities of China, perhaps Russian or some kind of Turkic group or (2) foreigner. In America, people are not that explicit, for some reason. And honestly, I think Americans should just ask directly, "Hey, what's your ethnicity?" But here's the problem: America doesn't recognize distinctive ethnicities. Based on America's own history, America recognizes "races" instead. You are White, Black, Hispanic/Latino, Asian or Other. And Asian can be **anything**. Even if you have a lot of European blood because 3 of your 4 grandparents are of European descent and only 1 is of Asian descent.

[@joshncalsmommy]

That’s interesting. I always thought the if you came from a family of immigrants the first generation would be considered the one born in the US.

[@Casey-gi4pw]

This is actually a very sweet video. Americans, as you know, ask "where are you from." endearingly (typically, hopefully). Either we are a "melting pot" or we aren't. I'm happy your parents brought their traditions with them. I've had many ESL students from East Asia. It's so fun to watch them learn and learn English. Their parents are the best-- even with the language barrier. I hope to visit East Asian countries some day

[@Kanigh13]

As a Korean-American who has been asked that question more times than I can count, I would not call the “where are you from?” question “endearing.” If I answer with which state I’m from, they reword their question to “Where were you born?” and when I tell them which state I was born, I am asked “No, I mean, where are your parents from?” A lot of times it’s a “fun” guessing game (“That would have been my second guess”) or they want to use my ethnicity to strike a conversation whether it’s relevant or not (“That’s really cool, actually my ex-wife was from Vietnam”). It’s not attractive nor endearing to try to label someone as an outsider in their home country (Oh, so you’re from Korea?). It’s ignorant and demeaning and that’s something Americans need to understand.

[@mimosa9638]

The caucasian should be labeled European American. Then they can be asked Are you FROM? Enland? Germany? Italy?

[@gareth0000]

If you refer to “(South) Korean food” as generally healthy then you are absolutely 100% American! 😂😂😂

[@laxer123]

ok I'm a white american and I was born in korea how come I'm not korean or at least a korean citizen ? 😂😂🤣🤣 koreans are koreans and not americans.. just fake birthers to gain free u.s birthright citizenship just like the other foreigners. A korean is a Korean but maybe with another citizenship ...Female citizens who are also foreign nationals at birth must declare their intention to retain or renounce ROK nationality before age 22.Male citizens who obtained foreign nationality by birth must make this declaration before 31 March of the year they become age 18. Dual nationals who retain South Korean nationality after this point are subject to conscription orders and are not permitted to renounce ROK nationality until they have completed military service

[@jamesrusselvida9334]

Wow, this video really hit differently. As a Korean American that was adopted into a Caucasian family, I never identified with my Korean heritage. My parents tried to cultivate it and expose me as much as they could, but I didn’t have a desire or appreciation to learn about it and embrace it. As I’ve become an adult, there are times when I feel like I’m stuck between two worlds, particularly when “legit” Koreans are asking me questions about myself and my family (clearly expecting me to be “legit” too). It makes me feel like an imposter sometimes. Such an interesting and delicate balance.