Growing Up Korean American | My Struggles

[@imjennim]

Happy Friday, everyone! Today I share my experience as a Korean American. I would love for you guys to share your stories as well by answering a question or two from the tag. I really love reading what you guys have to say and we can all learn from each other. ❤

[@ClarisseDeGuzman]

Jenn Im I just want to thank you so so much for bringing light to this topic especially this month. You have such powerful stories that resonated with me.

[@crystalhuang6214]

Hi Jenn! You should meet with ‘Lily Petals World’ (; she’s Korean and her hubby is from Kenya, and they have two beautiful children. Super adorable family! They all live in America now.

[@mireim.8858]

Thank you for sharing your story Jenn ❤ A lot of it really resonated with me, and I'm so glad Amy started this tag. I'm 18 years old, first generation and Japanese-Canadian. It's incredibly powerful to not only to see empowering Asian-American role models like you be proud of who you are, but also to hear your personal story. I've struggled a lot and I STILL struggle with so much when it comes to loving my heritage and fully appreciating everything my parents have done/do for me and my older brother. There's just something about hearing someone else talk about their story, and being able to see bits of yourself and your experience in them. This video has definitely made me feel less alone in some parts of my journey (albeit a short journey-- I forget how young I still am!) so far, and it's all the people like you and Amy who fuel my courage to grow as but also love who I am, just the way I am. Lots of love from British Columbia, Canada. ❤🍁🇯🇵

[@VioletGlass]

I love you so much why are you making me cry on a friday smh😤 but I'm so so so happy you shared that story with us. Im sure it helps others stay inspired but grounded.

[@valerycruz7788]

Hey Jenn! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and story. I'm Mexican American, and I related to many of the points that you brought up. I appreciate your gratitude towards the sacrifice and hard work parents do in order for their children to live happier and have more opportunities. Thanks again, have a great weekend!😊💚💙

[@pstt10]

I am crying listening to your mom’s story. Your mom has the sweetest spirit even when she doesnt speak much in your videos :( God bless her always!

[@vivianandsimba1002]

webears thank you for saying what I want to say

[@joungpark6226]

I'm watching this now and I felt the same

[@snowpandalovemusic]

I cried hearing your story about your mother... So many people look down on low-income immigrant parents who can't speak English, without caring to know their stories of sacrifice and determination. Growing up, my dad worked as both a librarian and a janitor at night in addition to being an international student trying to earn his PhD. My mom was a stay-at-home mom who raised me and my brothers, doing her best to teach us piano, math, Korean, and help us with homework despite not knowing English well. One time, she was in a minor car accident with a White woman. A White police officer who arrived at the scene listened to the other woman, let her leave right away, and proceeded to write my mom a ticket. He ignored her attempts to explain and when she tried to show him her driver's licence, he threw it on the ground and left. No language barrier can EVER justify treating someone so disrespectfully. If the adult me now could go back in time to that moment, I would totally go off on that officer!! Looking back now, I am constantly flooded with admiration for my parent's strength and gratitude for everything they endured to give me and my brothers the best life they could, for always putting us first so that we could dream big and believe anything was possible

[@rominamyr7503]

YGfamily4ever give my hugs to your mom. 🤗 im sure she was blessed in many other ways after that experience

[@iamkouka]

YGfamily4ever e

[@geonah05]

wow...your parents are heroes. i'm so tired of people erasing asians as victims of racism, but I feel so honored to be apart of a strong-minded community.

[@arniegonzales6043]

YGfamily4ever jfbhcv. IRS ids jura botanic iris or wiki i jud hs juju iaa i

[@easternbutterfly1570]

It's so sad it just takes 1 generation for Asian Americans to wipe out our history and throw away thousands of years of ancestry down the toilet. Especially losing it to a society that makes no effort to include our Grandfathers, Grandmothers, Aunts, Uncles of our families.

[@secretmina23]

People need to realise English is just a language! Not a scale of how intelligent you are. My dad can't speak English well but he is the most intelligent man I know.

[@xly89726]

absolutely agree. haha.

[@PlaylistProductions]

Yes.. Sometimes when you hear someone talking in broken English it makes you think they are not smart.. But its not an indication of intelligence at all, Agreed!

[@xly89726]

Gotta tell ya'll, the top 2 classmates in my class were not English native speaker, their English was not as good as you guys think, but they got the highest mark man, haha.

[@LeeHyung-zah]

English is one of the hardest languages and some people don’t have the linguistic talent. I would be a fish out of water in my birth land of Korea.

[@mikemuzzy4901]

We adopted our youngest daughter from Korea as a baby. She is now 39 years old and a pediatric nurse. We are so proud of her and it was so interesting to hear your story, your struggles, and your joys!

[@Mozhmo]

Ahhh what a sweet job!!

[@kaitheguy3572]

That’s amazing

[@barci758]

❤️❤️

[@poiikaer]

Last year, I tutored a 10 year-old Korean girl whose family moved to America for a year. One day, I showed her one of your videos as part of a grammar lesson-- I think it was your morning routine from years ago. She had some self-esteem issues because her english wasn't as good as her younger brother and she had glasses that she hated wearing but I wanted to help her feel more confident. She often felt discriminated against by teachers and classmates and I felt so bad. I showed her your video and told her about how you're Korean American and I that I thought she was going to look like you when she grows up. I wish you could have seen how she lit up! I truly think it meant a lot to her and you became someone she could look up to. I just wanted to share this with you in hopes that it makes you happy! This girl may have been able to relate you a young Jenn and I hope it feels great to know that, as an adult, you helped a girl in a similar situation. I love you and I teared up with you in this video!

[@BrasileiroTa]

クリステンKristen representation matters. Hollywood has much to learn still.

[@poiikaer]

American Multiculturalism You’re so right! That’s why I love KZbin 💕

[@PlaylistProductions]

That's actually a great idea..

[@Frost-wb7sh]

I don't understand how even teachers discriminate the girl! It is insane. And I feel so sick to watch white people who think they are superior which is total ridiculous and shit. I love being Korean and living in Korea now where I am free from racism. Btw, it was so nice touch from you to introduce this video to the girl. That def means a lot to her. :)

[@wywy7056]

Jenn, you are crazy articulate in your videos and for me that is a huge part of what distinguishes your content from a lot of other creators’ out there. It’s so surprising to find out that you feel like you’re not good at expressing yourself! Your voice has always been so genuine and candid in a sea of manufactured beauty/entertainment content, which is what I think has built you a huge following. This video in particular showcased that incredible ability of yours to emote and engage your audience. Shout out to Amy’s thoughtful questions, too! Thank you so much for making this video. As a non-American Asian living in the West, I have my own struggles as an immigrant, but it was really inspiring and educational to learn about you and your family’s struggles and resilience as Asian Americans. It’s so great that you’re putting in effort to learn Korean now, never too late; our relationships with our parents will definitely improve with time, improved communication, and patience. I wish you guys nothing but the best in the future!

[@ssoojpg]

wy wy Hear hear!!

[@eggtart52]

Couldn't have said it any better!

[@江寒刀风乱]

It’s freaking hard for first generation immigrants. The world is never kind.

[@iamgraci_]

this comment really resonates with me as an immigrant myself

[@nowemberr]

I just found out about this video and I cried. I feel every word, every word you say. My parents from Uzbekistan and I was born and live in Russia. I play like a Russian, but I don't look like a Russian obviously. So, I'm an alien in Russia and in Uzbekistan. I was bullied because of how I look and my name (my name is not Russian) and all these things that came along with. And I'm so so thankful to my parents and I also want to thank them back for everything they did and do for me, but with all that COVID-19 situation happening in the world right now, I lost my job... and I feel that I am an asshole loser, I am trying to stay positive and keep pushing, but it's hard. Thank you for your video, it gave me the motivation to not give up.

[@Sunflower-fh1nw]

Hello, I just wanna say that you aren't an idiot. Now the whole world is crazy because of the coronavirus and many people are having difficulties, but continues to believe that everything is gonna be fine. You are already grateful to your parents for the sacrifices and are trying, just think that is enough for now. Good luck to you and your family.

[@1katelynstar]

As a Russian, please don't give up these people would have never survived in a foreign country and don't have anything to be proud of except for being Russian, and yet they have the audacity to judge others. You will be okay❤️ Lots of love

[@gilferreira2042]

I didn't grow up as an immigrant and I'm so much in admiration for people like you dealing with all the bullshit people can say/do. Because of that you're so much stronger than I will ever be. You're a champion, don't ever forget that

[@toours5481]

Ох, не переживай, все будет хорошо♥️♥️♥️

[@Ph11125]

Stay strong ya!

[@saranghandamyeon]

I am at a loss for words really, you’ve said everything I’ve been feeling about my Vietnamese American identity for the longest time - the discrimination against my parents (a similar dangerous situation happened with my parents’ small businesses too), the inability to articulate what you want to say, and having to go to church and Vietnamese school and not really retaining it all. I’m really glad you made this video

[@english1]

I almost cried listening to your mom's story. It must have been so tough for your parents to settle down in America. I think their hard work has already paid off. Look what a great person you are now! You are inspiring all these people from all over the world!!!

[@CaptainKr1-c8c]

Well said...

[@sharonhalmeoni]

That made tears come to my eyes too!

[@yyyyz1113]

for sure for sure

[@chloejung609]

I'm so sorry about what happened to your mum, it breaks my heart into pieces. I related to you so much when you said that if your language isnt good enough people tend to underestimate you, it's so sad and should definately be changed :(

[@carlopaolucci4760]

As the son of Italian immigrants in Canada, I can truly relate to your story. It brought me to tears thinking back about what we went through. Today, I am a proud Canadian, but also so proud of my Italian heritage. It's my soul. What an amazing video Jenn. Thank you. Bless you girl.

[@lindseyyang5975]

Jenn, I highkey started crying right when you mentioned the curry rice story. As a Korean American myself, I remember in Kindergarten when I was first struck with the notion that I am different from my peers, when I came to school with my kalbi and rice and saw how disgusted my lunch mates were. I remember coming home crying, yelling at my mom for packing me asian food, for having a Korean name no one could pronounce, for me looking different. Little did I know that my mom had her struggles too, that she was afraid to leave the house, for she was fully aware that she couldn't defend herself and that her language barrier made her vulnerable. I regret those days when I lashed out to my mom whenever she couldn't understand me, through both language and culture. I get mad at myself for complaining why she always asked me to help translate things or asked me to spell something for her. I'm disappointed that I'm fluent only in English, because I know theres so much that I want to tell my family and my family wants to tell me, but the language barrier prevents that. Its hard to identify as Korean American. Everyone either thinks you're a fob or you're white washed. Why can't people just like me for being me? Why does my race/ethnicity have to play such a big part in how people accept me? Growing up in America was really a tug of war between cultures. I got mad when I was put in an inferior position, but what made me mad the most was how I couldn't stand up for myself. Just like you mentioned, standing up for yourself is scary. But now I realize standing up for yourself is the best thing you can do for not only yourself, but also for others who are going through the same struggle as you are. It may be scary, but its necessary. It was definitely stressful to put up with people who didn't know what I was going through. But now, I can't really complain about all of my early, negative memories about my ethnicity, because back then, people just genuinely didn't know what Korea was. I'm proud that Korea has been gaining light through multiple perspectives. But all in all, its our responsibility to teach about our culture and to be open and learn from each other. You can't have unity without diversity, right? Thank you for sharing and embracing your experience Jenn❤

[@breepark8635]

I relate to this so much. I always had low self confidence due to the fact that I'm asian. I felt inferior. So I always took out the anger and stress on my parents, who were struggling just as much as I was in a country that looked down on them. I think it's a struggle that every Asian American has to go through, unfortunately.

[@SeageSpeaks]

Was i the only child that asked to try the asian students lunch? I guess ive never been one to eat with my eyes. They'd open their containers and the smell would be so bomb, id go over meekly and be like "woah, what is that?! Could i try a little???" I was put on by asian kids when I was young, haha. But then again, I had just moved to canada from england and all those shitty kids laughed at my name and accent. But i never connected it to my parents. I just made friends with the kids who were more like me. At that time, asian canadians. (im British/jamaican) Obviously i didnt have a language barrier. That probably would have made things tough. I remember being proud of being british, and looking down on canadians, only because of those experiences. I never considered it bullying because you cant be bullied by plebs LOL. My ego, man... But i feel like that mentality saved me. Now im proud of being raised in Canada. Anytime anyone says that whitewashed garbage, i usually ask them what they know of their culture and shut it down quick.

[@Sahra-np8el]

This has got to be the whitest reply ever. Dude ur not special for being a nice kid and ur story of being british was not necessary no one cares ur struggles are not even an inch to what ethnic kids go through growing up.

[@SeageSpeaks]

Lmfao. I'm black. Should people care now? The reason i left England was due to the heavy amounts of racism against my family in the town i was born. But way to assume. I literally said right there that i'm British/JAMAICAN. Work up your comprehension skills next time before you reply to a comment. "The whitest reply". Niiice. You don't know a thing about me or my struggles. People like you reach SO hard to "protect" everyone from white people that you completely dismiss entire experiences if you think its written from a white person. But now that now that i'm black, suddenly my points are going to carry weight? You couldn't even tell what i was through my text so you just assumed and then figured it was okay to spew nonsense at me. I feel like thats a sign. Racism is alive and well. And shutup with that systematic shit. This is the problem with you people. Even kindness gets shit on if its by a white person. Don't even respond to me. Your victim reaching makes me sick.

[@user-lk2be6vo6w]

This is such an wonderful comment. Thank you for sharing your experience and just being you. 💚

[@cathytran6902]

I'm sorry about what your mom went through. Your words n honesty about growing Korean American is inspiring. My parents are the first generation American so when you talked about the shit that they go through to have a better life for the next opened my eyes. I'm proud to say that I'm a Vietnamese American and I live who I am n my culture. Love you JENN!

[@EmeliaSings]

omg jenn... i had no idea what happened to your mom. i have no words. im just sending you and your family all the love i can. youre a wonderful woman!

[@user-xt8qw2wd8z]

부모님이 이민 1세대이기 때문에 고생을 참 많이 하셨을 것 같아요. 슬프네요...그래도 그 덕분에 지금의 삶을 살고있는것이기 때문에 참 감사하지요.

[@user-pes1114]

한국에 사는 한국인으로서 한국인이라는것에 자부심을 가져주시고 있다니 고마워요. 어린시절의 상처와 어머님의 사고가 트라우마로 남지 않아 다행이에요. 아직은 세계속에 작은 나라이기에 무시 당하는 아픔도 있지만 인터넷을 통해 알고 있겠지만 점점 좋아지고 있어요. 국력도 올리고 있어요. 그러니 한국인으로서의 자부심을 놓지 말고 가슴속에 담아주기 바래요.

[@hichad]

Everyone needs to watch this video!! It's so awesome reading through these comments and seeing how much positive impact you are having. I can see people in the comments being instantly more proud of their heritage because of you! I really hope in this country we are becoming more open minded and accepting of different cultures and just being more kind to everyone we meet.

[@TheFashionNMakeup]

Thank you for sharing your story with us Jenn! Especially the story about what happened to your mom, i actually teared up

[@jigvnwi]

저 진짜 울면서 봤어요...눈물, 콧물 다흘리면서...ㅠㅠㅠ 진짜 부모님께서도 너무 힘드셨을 것 같아요.. 저는 미국유학때문에 시험보러 한달간 다녀왔었는데 말이 안통하고 영어를 잘못해서 무시하는듯한 느낌에 소심해져 있었거든요..근데 jenn 부모님께선 계속 거기 사시면서 일도 하시고 사람들과 부딪히는 일도 많으셨을거고...너무 고생하셨을 것 같아요...

[@gospelofdirt]

i am mexican american and I can relate to so many of the things you experienced. glad you made this video!

[@moonlightliz4488]

jeanette nevarez me too

[@ChloeTing]

I feel ya when it comes to articulating what's in your mind. I can never express well enough because I'm not that great in all the languages. There's always a barrier between my feels and my words! 😂To be honest, I always think that you are such a great speaker, in your videos and also in real life. Yeah the bullying part definitely sucks, mine started quite a bit later since I moved to Australia after high school. I wish I had to courage to shut them up then as well. lol. Look at you now! So proud of you ! ❤

[@Grace_0128]

Chloe Ting omg I love your channel~

[@leticiaumezaki]

Besides not being great at the languages I feel that I grew up feeling different, so I couldn't express my feelings using the same words as other people. I couldn't relate to anyone enough to the point that I felt like what they said applied to me 100%. That's why is so important that people like Jen have big platforms where they can openly talk about this so people in the same situation can watch, know they're not alone and maybe gain skills to express their feelings and share their experience with others.

[@hilltop5509]

Im somali and you spoke my mind. Thats exactly how i feel.

[@unconformingtruther5496]

Chloe Ting the Chloe Ting Ting :)

[@arniegonzales6043]

Chloe Ting f

[@chinsvlogs]

oh man, I wasn’t ready for the waterworks. you’re such a role model jenn. we love you 💖

[@Nolanoyayo]

Seeing the way Australians treated my spanish parents growing up was really hard. The lack of respect and unwillingness to help made my heart break for them

[@brigadiergeneral9920]

Hello, how are you doing today? My name is Fremlin

[@sideupsun]

@@brigadiergeneral9920 but you are white, it would have been better#

[@oakridgemall-8jl2h9f]

Your parents should have immigrated to California, Texas, NY or Miami.

[@Sky-my5xi]

OMG GURL I CRIED WATCHING THIS VIDEO, I'm so sorry that your mum had to go through that. You also had a lot of difficulties thinking that you'd never satisfy "the Asian standards", but you parents must be SO SO SO proud of having such a smart and beautiful daughter like you!!! Lots of love Jenn! from Korean Canadian

[@onemustalwaysbedifferent]

I remember I brought kimchi to elementary school one time and people made fun of me saying it stunk. After that I told my mom to only pack ham and cheese or pb and j sandwiches. Now, everyone is loving the kimchi! I hope my future children don’t have to go through what we did. That little boy who called kare rice poop is missing out! But these things made us who we are now. My family has a similar story to yours; they came to America and worked three jobs at the same time to make ends meet so us kids could have a better life. My parents always got discriminated against because their English wasn’t perfect, but they always stayed strong and carried on. We should be so proud of our parents! 😄

[@ATLine1]

Kimchi is the bomb

[@amandashepard9707]

I had this happen to a friend while we were in high school. They told her to put away her lunch in class because the kimchi smelled like something died. I was sitting right next to her and it didn't smell. We're both Asian and we're kinda shock that people had such a negative reaction to a scent they weren't familiar with.

[@App.pple.0]

I remember in 1st grade I had a friend who's parents were from Korea. Her mom brought us all kimchi for lunch (my friend made sure to tell all of us that her mom didn't make it spicy...I didn't understand until many years later when I'd eat really spicy kimchi lol) but we all thought it was so delicious! Her mom also answered any questions we had about Korea. To this day, I'm so thankful that our teacher allowed the class to have that experience.

[@my-hanh]

You are so strong to tell that story about your mom and it shows that even if she was a fearful person. She was strong because of her love for her kids. I started crying because I feel the same way with my parents with my mom running a food service store. Love ya Jenn From a Vietnamese American

[@blue-vw5ny]

부모님이 정말 힘드신 시간이셨을텐데 특히 트라우마를 가질만한 사건이 있으셨던 어머님께서.. 그래도 따님이 이렇게 잘 자라줘서 자랑스러우실거에요 응원합니다

[@ZheynaLKT]

I grew up in Paris, I was born in the South of France and my parents are coming from Senegal (Africa) and Guyane (South America). I to-ta-lly resent you when you said that in Korea you are considered American and vice versa. It was exactly the same when as a kid I was in Senegal and people on the street once called me "a white french person" because I couldn't speak wolof (Senegal's main language after French). Now, as a grown women, I am also planing to learn wolof because I feel like I am finally ready for it. I really want to thank you for sharing this experience because you are right : our parents paved the way for us to integrate in the country they choose, they went through a lot to integrate as immigrant, and for that we have to show them gratitude every single day. I wish you the best Jenn, this video made my day.

[@77Lenabeana]

I understand! I'm Mauritanian/Congolese born in Canada and I cannot speak Wolof/Soninke or Lingala! And whenever i'm visiting Africa, I get shamed for not knowing my language and people (from back home) tell me not to consider myself African. I know my parents tried extremely hard to raise me in a country where they didn't know the language (they both are native french speakers but we live in a more anglophone region) and they taught me to ALWAYS cherish my heritage. Canada is different than the States as there is much less racial discrimination amongst young kids/adults and we're always taught to appreciate where our parents come from. My struggles lie in my parents countries and not in Canadian society but it's so nice to hear Jenn's story because it relates to so many people, no matter where they are :D

[@yurikam1522]

My son is Japanese American. I’m sure he will go through the similar situation as yours, but I will keep telling him that his ethnicity is not the thing he need to be ashamed of, but something really shines him up. Thank you for sharing this video, Jenn. You always inspire me so so much. Love from Japan.

[@qrcd]

Yurika Morishita I just wanted to say that not all schools will have as many racist people as hers did (though others will sadly have more). I’m lucky enough to have gone to a middle school with ~40% Asians. Plus, times are changing, and people are becoming more aware of things! So hopefully by the time your son gets to middle/high school, people won’t be as insensitive.

[@dbrhdbrh]

It's so heartbreaking. That's why it's very important for parents to teach their kids about cultural, ethnicity and race diversity as well as respect and compassion.

[@brigadiergeneral9920]

Hello, how are you doing today? I’m Fremlin

[@kathrynwalters3341]

I was adopted from Korea and I am interested in learning more about the Korean culture. This was a very deep and personal look at your experiences and I appreciate the time you took to create this video!

[@brigadiergeneral9920]

Hello, how are you doing today? I’m Fremlin

[@Chrisliu1122]

I cried when you mentioned your moms story :( thank you for this video, this is so relatable

[@MelodeeMorita]

Aww SO happy you made your version of this video, Jenn.❤️ it was comforting in a way when we chatted and you told me that you also had a very similar experience in elementary school b/c I thought I was the only one... (i would’ve totally shared my sushi with you if we went to the same school in Cali😂) Thank you also for speaking about your very personal story. Lots of love & power to you, your amazing mom, and family for being so strong and full of love. Keep shining!!💎✨

[@sweetkaroline22]

Such an amazing video! I was born in Korea, but adopted by an American family when I was 7 months old. I grew up in a rural area of Idaho that had zero Asian people. I had a difficult childhood of being bullied, getting into fights because of being bullied and having to grow up fast when my parents got divorced when I was 8. I never felt accepted by Asians or Americans. As I have gotten older, I have pretty much created my own path. I don’t really allow one thing to define who I am. I am many things and that makes me unique. I embrace my differences and hope to travel to Korea someday with my daughter, so we both can experience that part of our heritage together.

[@jeremymckenzie6240]

Seeing you vulnerable and crying felt like a real face to face connection with you. I appreciated this so much. Thank you for being you!

[@skycedi]

Jenn, your story about your mom and how it impacted you lit a fire under me as well. I can totally relate as a Korean-american with a korean mom. This inspires me to do my own tag. Thanks for sharing. 화이팅!

[@Hevesh5]

Thank you for posting this video

[@mintykiss8251]

Hevesh5 you rock! xoxo

[@ryanm9371]

Odd that you feel connected to the same people that abandoned you. You sound ungrateful of your parents who gave you a life.

[@AllenYang-zf9qk]

@@ryanm9371 how do u know her ungrateful of parents? U guy full of prejudice.

[@AllenYang-zf9qk]

Thank u for sharing ur story.we r both Chinese which maybe mean nothing but a truth.Thank u.

[@OttugiBap]

I remember the video of Hevesh5 pranking her dad .. maybe at April fool's. Even after seeing his father's white, I didn't realize that she was adopted and I just past by, only thinking about the dominoes. And after reading this comment I'm like Oh.. Yeah.. that was why.

[@DiegoLucass]

I’m in tears 😓 mi corazón feels so much for your mama. I really relate to first generation struggles our parents face and it saddens me that similar experiences have occurred to my family as well. We are resilient people. I appreciate you so much for your courage. For your words. For your existence. This is for them. ✊🏼

[@freewillietoday]

I am Chinese American, age 70, and I find a lot of similarities that you went through in your youth. I am writing an article now on Asian wine professionals (I am in the wine business). I just interviewed to Korean American winemakers and what you are saying resonates. Thanks for doing such an honest, real-life KZbin. Keep up the good work, this is important for all of us, and I mean everyone include in white and black Americans.

[@breastsleepingmuse9446]

Thank you for sharing

[@Rockkermaticgirl]

So much love girl!! Growing up 1st generation Australian from a Vietnamese family I can totally relate to what you've been talking about so far. The world needs more videos about peoples ethnic stories like this! And let Ben know we've been missing his videos too! Xx

[@SuzyQ1129]

I was crying when you were crying because I felt your pain. My parents owned a small grocery store and worked very hard, 7 days a week and one day, while my father was at the store alone, 2 men came in with guns and robbed the store. My dad was hit across the face with a pistol and locked inside a walk-in refrigerator box. Til this day, I cry when I think about it and it breaks my heart. I'm also "Korean American" and I related to a lot of your struggles, especially communicating with my mother. You're right, things always get lost in translation and even though I consider myself fluent in Korean, it's hard for me to articulate my feelings in Korean and I always felt misunderstood. I was NOT good in school and it didn't help that I was painfully shy and so I use to hate it when people would expect me to be good in math etc. Also, the cultural difference between home life and social life was a struggle for me. As a kid, I absolutely hated being Korean American but now, as an adult, I'm proud to call myself a Korean American and it took me a long time to get to this place.

[@banandababa]

I actually shed a tear when you started talking about your mother. I am from a completely different country but completely relate to you as a first gen british from Africa - I was relating to every single point you were making even the language issue. Our parents have done so much for us

[@banandababa]

It was also very refreshing to see this side of you. I was always under the impression that you are super wealthy and come from a wealthy background. You go girl, keep working hard you are amazing

[@혜나-m2q]

모야 눈물나는 이야기인줄 알고 힘이 되어주려고 들어왔는데 희망찬 구독자 245만명 이였자나!!

[@naofnabi]

fgd asd ㅌ ㅌㅋㅌㅌㅌㅌㅋㅋㅋ

[@rosiekim9457]

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅇㅈㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

[@찰보리빵빵]

저랑 똑같네여 ㅋㅋㅋ

[@한해밀-u3c]

좀 그래도 슬프기도 하네요...

[@아두칠정]

ㅎㅎ

[@heyjackeibeauty1217]

Oh goodness, Jen. I loved this and of course your Mom’s traumatic story made me cry. I appreciate you sharing your growth and experiences because it has been something that I have been to expressing to friends and people around me, saying that not everyone was born “woke” or aware of themselves in a cultural aspect, specifically in America. We need to give ourselves space to grow because life can be so hard on us, even at an early age. During my childhood, assimilation was shoved down my throat as an African American too and even though I am not first generation (but a proud descendant of those in chattel slavery), and I was hit hard with the “model minority” stereotype for the opposite reasons. People always thought I was less smart and put me in lower classes, and I worked my butt off to show my smarts while at the same time thinking that later in life I would be properly rewarded for all the work that I had done (and you can guess how that went in college). Either way, I am extremely blessed to be where I am at now, to have all that I have (not just my degrees), and to claim my heritage as a Black American, and wouldn’t have it any other way. As for the other questions, I am Black American and I have not always been proud of who I am but now see the beauty of my culture and my people, who make me proud every day. Because I was born in CA and lived there long enough to get the accent (yes, Californians have accents), I dealt with the stereotype of being told I talk like a white girl, and this mostly came up in middle school since I lived in Baltimore, MD (from a white guy nonetheless 😅). I resented it because of a few things. 1 - Just because you have an accent, speak Ebonics and/or broken English, does not mean you are less educated. 2 - Just because someone has a Californian accent doesn’t mean they are smart. 3 - There are different kinds of intelligence out there that is necessary to survive (book smart, street smart, etc) and speech does not always denote that intelligence in ways that you expect. And 4 - Black people speak in all different kinds of languages, accents, etc just like everyone else and there is no way to speak “white”. It’s a classist and racist stereotype that needs to end. Either way, we were young and I hope he stopped saying that cuz I just gave him a dirty look as a kid. I didn’t have time for it. 😂 It should not only be the way that negative stereotypes (racism, classism, sexism, etc) affect us that unites people, but our personal internal struggles, defeats, victories, and triumphs. And it takes so much grace and vulnerability to share these stories so I appreciate you sharing yours, Jen. I am happy continue watching your journey as long as you choose to share it with us on here. Much love. 💛

[@imjennim]

Wow! Thank you for sharing your story with this comment. So much love for you!

[@LexiDarcel]

Completely agree and likewise in middle school I was told I talked like a white girl!

[@mysasuke55]

I am so sorry that something so traumatic happened to your mom. I am so thankful that she stayed strong and continued to raise you in that fearful time.. I was born in Cambodia but moved here when I was 5... I had a hard time adapting because I loved speaking my languages, mandarin, teochew, and Khmer, but here in California, nobody I knew spoke those so I didn’t want to adjust. I remember in elementary school we had to write out numbers and such, I had already learned to do that back in Cambodia when I was much younger, but I refused to write the American numbers... so I wrote in Chinese instead. Adapting and accepting a new place was hard for me but in the end, it had to happen for me to “fit” into this world.

[@sophiachang]

Thank you for opening up about this Jegg. This video was lovely and made me even more proud to be a Korean American! ❤️

[@timessquareadvertising8801]

Sophia Chang me too

[@vivip.8460]

hey, I am korean American too (1st generation) I was born in Korea but lived out here for the rest of my life since I was a baby and whilst watching your video, everything linked up because I am not great at explaining things and you had the exact same struggles as me and it felt like you told the world who we actually are and things we desperately want to say. Every single sentence and word you said were relatable. It felt like you were telling my story. I just want to say thank you for doing something that I've always wanted to do, but couldn't. You don't know how much it means to me❤️

[@venusmay8109]

오늘 처음 봤는데 미소가 너무 아름다우세요 부모님 강도 얘기 들었을땐 같이 울컥했어요 해외에 체류한경험이 있어서 봤을때 정말 1세대는 오직 자식들을 위해 더 좋은환경을 주고자 헌신하고 희생하고 고생하는 모습에 후에 철이들면 그걸알게되죠 앞으로 구독할께요

[@luigihatesyou4217]

What??🧐🧐

[@1ekaejr1]

@@luigihatesyou4217 gtfo idiot

[@snag3822]

Jacob Hunter chill wtf

[@jellabloom7406]

Basically this comment reflects on the admiration coming from Jenn’s narrative as Korean American. The struggles 1st gen parents go thru for their children’s future. Much support! 👍

[@user-ko1sg5gn9i]

MOBSTER he is bascially the same as the boys who bullied her🙄

[@limanna1225]

한국인들도 Jenn이 자랑스러워용

[@user-qr3tj3qs5i]

한국인으로서 응원해요

[@VSKim-ff1ez]

Chu Cu 💕👏🏻👏🏻💕

[@yoonmiha3441]

This is so honest it makes me cry. I can connect with you on so many levels. So happy that you found your peace!

[@bnclalala]

Loved this video, your mom's story was very sad and touching. I am Greek/Dominican and there was a time when I was younger that I didn't take pride on my ethnicity. Let's just say that kids can sometimes be assholes. I didn't feel neither greek nor dominican. Now as I've grown older I could not be any prouder for both of my backgrounds and this mixed culture that I have obtained.

[@a-floater2081]

I was born and grew up in Portugal as a Chinese, I found this so relatable. When I look back to my younger self, I hope there was more strength in me and just be confident with who I was. Specially when you are younger it is hard no to absorb what others say and think about you, I would tell people who are experiencing this kind of cultural diversity within themselves now, just to know that this is a gift. You are opened to new ways of thinking and being, you can be so much more! This world is becoming more integrated and globalised, so be proud of who you are. Close-minded people should open their minds before opening their mouths! Express yourself, be proud of who you are

[@a-floater2081]

Yuting Cheng 🤣🤣🙌

[@user-rr8xn3yf8j]

I'm not even Korean-American, but your stroy encourged me a lot because of the fact that you're still a warm and bright person even though your childhood has been very tough for you.

[@ndqm802]

Thank you for this video. I didn’t grow up in America - but I am a Vietnamese-Australian. I was born and raised in Australia. I’ve had to deal with a lot of racism and bullies as well, growing up. Thank you for sharing your story, it made me cry when you spoke about your mum. Made me really miss my mum - who passed away when I was 4 months pregnant with my first child. Currently I’m going through such a difficult phase in life, but what you said towards the end of the video has pretty much slapped me in the face! It’s reminded me how hard my parents worked to give myself and my two brothers a better future. It’s reminded me of the tough and low-paying jobs they worked, all kinds of crap they had to deal with...all for a better future for me and my brothers. Therefore.. I cannot give up. Thank you Jen. Thank you.

[@zoilalulu3798]

First-generation struggles, man. I feel you. I'm first-generation Mexican American.

[@yoorajung]

Thank you so much for this video ❤️ you’re truly inspiring in every way

[@pingpongpingpong0518]

YOORA!!! I LOVE UUUUU

[@서연-o3m6i]

헉 너무 반가워요❤

[@sincerelyluna]

So sorry that happened to your mom 😔 immigrant parents are truly the hardest working people. And I’ll always be grateful that my grandparents made their way to the states to escape the secret war. Love you sooo much Jenn and Thanks for making this video! ❤️

[@가을-g5f]

와 저도 한국인이예요! 왜인지는 모르겠지만 그냥 끝까지 보게되었어요..

[@name-wl5eh]

ㅎㅎ♡

[@cassiabavardo8046]

Oh my gosh, I can totally relate to your mortification over food. Even though it may seem trivial, at that age it really is tough being different from others.

[@sunsunsun1687]

I just can't help but tear a little because I could actually feel how much you love your mom and how much you want to protect her.. My mom pass away when I was 7 so I do wish I was older back then to love her more in any ways I could. But that aside, you're such a ball of sunshine!!! Don't ever let anything brings you down! 💞

[@ninanarachi7690]

It's crazy how almost every Asian American I've seen online (including me) has had a story similar to your curry rice one. I'm Japanese American and my mom used to always packed me bento boxes in elementary school and while some teachers loved them and would tell me how cute they were, my classmates and friends would comment on how it smelled bad or looks weird. I was so embarrassed by the attention my food got I eventually told my mom to stop packing me lunches altogether. I felt bad because I loved my mom's cooking and she prides herself with it so for a long time she wasn't aware of the real reason I asked her to stop, she believed my little lie about how the kids would take my food and eat it. Throughout my K-12 life I would rarely bring lunches but I always made sure they were more "acceptable" to eat in front of the kids who would only bring/buy sandwiches or pizza for lunch. She's aware now why I actually asked her to stop making me bento boxes and thankfully she isn't hurt or offended but I do wish I didn't miss out on some amazing lunches haha.

[@s.t2240]

nina kazu I had the same experience growing up when my mom would pack me Mexican food. Still today when I go to work and I take my home cooked meals people ask me what it is. They don't make fun of it as much anymore but I'm much more comfortable now than when I was younger.

[@alicelee13]

i've never related more, bringing my mom's cooking in elementary was the worst, kids had no filter and would always comment negative stuff about the food and say it looks gross and smells weird and ask why would i eat that, and throughout elementary i wouldn't even take out my mom's food and just throw it away, it kind of stuck with me even till now, i'm still somewhat self conscious when i take leftovers of my mom's cooking to school thanks to past comments but it's gotten better

[@eugenemetayhas]

I'm Greek American, and the same thing happened to me. If you've seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding where the main character brings in moussaka for lunch, that exact thing happened to me. I was so embarrassed and I did the same thing as Jenn where I asked my dad to pack me a "normal American lunch." I realized once I left high school how sad that was, and in college I started cooking more Greek cuisine, which is what I grew up with and now bring to lunch at work. My coworkers always comment how good my food looks, so the tables have turned!

[@sma4030]

I've had the same experience in elementary school when my mom packed me arabic food and everyone told me to stop bringing gross things to eat. I was sooo angry at my mom as a kid but now I love to eat her food at work during lunch! And everyone also jokes about how I didn't bring some for them too cause it looks so good!

[@jenniferkim7106]

mine was kimbap with fermented perilla leaves.. -_- I ate it on my way home lul

[@staplersbreak7136]

The story about the curry made me so sad because my mom is Korean (dad's white) and everyone was really mean to me and they called me crazy whenever my mom packed my lunch. It really sucked

[@mindy7201]

This has honestly hit home for me so much! It's so amazing to know that you let your experiences mold you into such a beautiful strong person. I'm also a first generation in my family. I'm Hmong American. My parents met & got married in America, but they have also live through the Vietnam War and immigrated here to the States in the mid 80's. In my childhood, it was always hard for me (as a kid) to explain to people 'where I come from' since Hmong people don't have their own country and my parents didn't teach me the traditional customs either. They left the old beliefs/practices and became Christians before they got married. When kids did ask, I didn't have clue and people often mistook Hmong as Mongolian. Hence, I started asking questions to my parents about Hmong people's history and what it means to be Hmong and it gave me a foundation to be proud of my identity. So from then on whenever people asked me about my ethnicity, I also asked their ethncity to see if they're proud of their identity and question them too. I didn't take American as an answer. There were times where I did feel insecure about my ethnicity since it was not well known to people but I have gain patience to tell people about my ethnicity whenever they ask. Thank for opening up to us Jenn!

[@heatherr.364]

I never really comment on videos and I only shed 2 tears watching Les Miserables but damn... you had me tearing up hard when you shared what your mother went through! For myself, race/ethnicity has always been an awkward subject at best.. I'm a bit over half Native American and the rest white (Italian, German and Irish). My white relatives are fairly recent immigrants, so I got a decent amount of cultural immersion on all fronts. My father's side is mainly native and I grew up on pow wows and fry bread. He is an excellent beadwork artist and has even had me help him pluck a porcupine (it hurts. Like, a lot. LOL) It's always been weird for me though because, for one, people very often mistake me for being Asian. Being Asian isn't necessarily bad, but.. I'd like to be recognized for what I am, and those who get it right are usually other natives. Go figure! What's also weird for me is that I am in my own native country, yet I've seen less natives than anyone else. There's not a big enough native voice to deflect the misrepresentations and stereotypes about us. It's a damn shame to me, honestly.. The constant media focus on race issues can be a bit overwhelming these days, I won't lie, but I do hope that it will all come full circle in a positive way and that people will dismiss harmful stereotypes rather than perpetuate them. Stir the pot enough and hopefully things will all mix smoothly! Because optimism!! 😂😂😂👊💖

[@summibear14]

I'm Native American too! I agree with what you said about misrepresentation and how our people don't have a voice outside of our small communities. I've been studying ethnicity and race lately and I feel like a lot of youth feel shame about who they are and who their parents are. Identity is so important. As we get older and see how others felt similarly growing up is so eye opening to me.

[@heatherr.364]

summi000 000 you're absolutely right! I had that exact problem growing up. I mainly grew up in black/Hispanic communities, so I expected that I could never fully feel included, but when I moved with my dad to upstate NY, most people were white. I felt like maybe for once I could hope to fit in. I tried lightening my hair, wore contacts, tried dressing the way the other kids did, and they never fully accepted me as white. No matter what I did, I couldn't 'pass' enough and people always pointed out how different I was regardless. Eventually I learned to embrace being different. I learned how beading saved my father's life, how our medicine man led him back to our culture and away from crimes he was committing. It gave me a new respect for my culture. Everybody should get in touch with their roots, I think! No matter what you are, I feel like it helps ground us 🙃

[@roberttiniakos3200]

This made me cry. I love your honesty and how genuine you are. Your love for your mom is amazing

[@elysiatsosie3524]

😭 Beautiful video Jenn! Made me tear up. I'm Native American and was born and raised on the Navajo reservation. Love you and your content. ❤️

[@yagalterry]

Jenn! Even crying, you're still so articulate and your words are still so well thought out. I love you and I'm so proud of how far you've come

[@amaera]

"Where did those years of Korean school go?" GIRL I RELATE I used to go to Chinese school every Friday evening - FRIDAY EVENING I HAD TO GIVE UP MY FRIDAY EVENINGS that's social suicide for a teenager - and my Chinese level is probably about the same as your Korean level.... Watching the news is a STRUGGGLLLEEEE

[@jadelam4160]

Natalie L. I learned chinese for 3 years and I don’t know anything in chinese, just hi. Not even joking. It’s like I can’t learn any language at all at this point

[@リラックマ-w4j]

ME BUT WITH JAPANESE I FEEL YOU HAHA

[@serena8932]

ok but I have to go to Chinese school every Saturday 1-4 and we have to drive 1 hour to get there😂😂I'm going tm too haha

[@marylee6490]

Taehyung x Yeontan lol same I learned Spanish for 3 years and remembers nothing but my husband has friends that speak Spanish and he knows more than I do 😭😂🤦‍♀️

[@amaera]

simplyserena omggg that's rouggghhh T^T goodbye weekend that's so tragic

[@victoriakim7686]

Wow, this is amazing. My daughter is half korean and she is so proud of being Korean. Me too.

[@ddgslegs2606]

Then why is she half?

[@allahbless2278]

@@ddgslegs2606 cause either her or her husband is Korean? Not hard to understand

[@deeperto]

어머니 얘기할때 저도 눈물이 주루륵 흘렀어요. 당신이 한국을 자랑스러워 하는것처럼 나는 한국계 미국인인 당신이 이렇게 큰 유투브 스타가 된 것이 자랑스러워요!!. 영상 항상 잘 보고 있어요. 아침 출근전 이쁜 미소보면서 저도 화장하고 출근한답니다. 기분좋게요!I love the way you are! Wish you come to korea and have a fan meet up! Happy that you are proud of being Korean American ;)

[@6w6jacqueriko65]

Growing up as an Asian and wanting to be an artist was the hardest thing. The asian STEM genius stereotype and the perception of what was success for my parents made it so hard for me to pursue my dream. It took a while and a lot of hard work, but I am glad that I am able to hold onto what I want most and pursue my career.

[@ztothegang]

Jenn. One of the thankful things in my life is that I found you online so that I could watch your videos whenever I want to. I've been wathcing yours since 2013. It was life changing moment. I am Korean-korean living in Korea. L Your influence is worldwide. I love you because you are such a warm hearted and caring person who makes people feel warm inside. I love you because you love yourself as the way you are. You deserve a better life as it is now. So many things I want to praise about you.. Jenn you are the BEST. Love from South Korea. (Wish I lived in LA :( want to be your korean tutor)

[@Ilhamfeb23]

I love the Korean culture and the food and I’m originally from Somali❤️ We have to accept who we are regardless of our background because it wasn’t our choice to be born black, white, Asian. All human beings are amazing regardless where you are from. Peace and love and unity❤️❤️

[@uncletheoneshotkid3001]

Warya

[@ChocolateRuko]

@@uncletheoneshotkid3001 😂😂😂😂😂

[@joelleolol]

wow I just watched your may vlog about how people say that you're no longer genuine or whatever and it's honestly HYSTERICAL that anyone would even say that to you when you literally put your whole life out on the internet and are SO vulnerable with your audience so that people can see the real you and learn from your experiences. so just some encouragement and a thank you for being so real and for using your platform for things that are important to you!!

[@여름-g9i]

I cried listening to your story. Nothing is bigger than the love of the parents. Sending you big hug from Korea.

[@NegxPosxReal]

Thank you for sharing your experience Jenn! I really relate to your struggles and thoughts, especially having to try harder to provide for your parents and make sure they don't live through that bad experience again (That hit me hard.) Similar to you, I also remember being disconnected with my culture (almost to the point, hating my own culture) because of some people's upbringing of negative ideas, which almost made me disconnected with it. Lucky for me, I don't hate it anymore.

[@김현미-e7h]

영어 공부하면서 우연히 영상접했는데 처음엔 톤이랑 발음이 넘 멋져서 배우고싶다고해서 쭉 봤는데 예전 영상들을 보니 성장과정들이 많은시행착오끝에 이렇게 올수있었구나싶더라구요 멋져요 멀리 한국에서 누군가는 당신을 닮고싶어하는 사람도있으니까요 응원합니다!! 잘해왔고 지금도 잘하고있으니까요♡

[@임수-h7t]

저두여 영어공부 쉐도잉하면서 이분의 발성이 매년 점차적으로 발전한걸 보면서 고작 9개월 쉐도잉하고 덥답해한 저를 조금 위로하게되엇어요. 영어공부 화이팅하세요❤

[@eyewristchin]

I completely identified with the part where you talked about how you had a disconnect with your parents because you simply couldn't vocalize the correct words. I still remember many times I couldn't express disappointment, hurt, disrespect, shame. It was rough for sure.. I feel you

[@fabyargandona]

Hey Jenn- thank you for sharing the story about your mom. I'm so sorry it happened. I am Latina and I hear you 100% about how our parents had to do the hard jobs. They are also my inspiration. They are my everything!!! ❤️❤️

[@theonlycma]

What a beautiful video Jenn, thanks so much for sharing ❤️ I’ve always struggled with being “too black” in some situations, mainly in white spaces and “not black enough” for others, mainly with my extended family. I imagine it’s kind of similar as being viewed as American in Korea but Asian in America. It sucks that so much of our emotions tied to our cultural heritages is dependent on how others respond to us. It’s definitely led me to have a pretty negative view of myself in the past. But, like you, I’m trying to be proud of my heritage as I get older. Even though it sucks to have these negative experiences, I think it makes us more empathetic and well-rounded as we move into adulthood.

[@수민-h9c7c]

와... 저 아무생각없이 유튜브 들어와서 보다가 처음으로 유튜브 보다가 진짜 대단하다고 느꼈어요 먼가 세상에 개념없고 생각없이 살아가는사람도 많은데 이렇게 그것도 어릴때부터 그런상황을 경험하고 이해하고 받아드린다는것이 정말 놀랍달까.. 14분안에 되게 값진 영상 본것같아요 감사합니다 구독누르고 영상 다 챙겨볼게요 코로나 조심하시구..

[@sruthit248]

This was an amazing video that I think hit home to a lot of your viewers, including me. Growing up desi (Indian-American) was rather tough in a neighborhood where there weren't as many people like me and because of that, I desperately wished I wasn't Indian at all. But now, as a 20 year old, I've definitely been piecing back together the culture and traditions and all of that and am finally becoming proud of who I am. The whole thing you said about immigrant parents having to do all the shitty jobs and all that- that also hit home for me. It sucks to be put in the position but I certainly know it's allowed us all to grow a lot more. Thank you for the video!

[@jenniferk623]

Genuinely moved and touched by your story, Jenn. The way you able to be so transparent and vulnerable with your emotions is truly inspiring. As a Korean American, I completely resonate with points you made - Thank you for sharing your story

[@imjennim]

Thank you so much!

[@jenryu5746]

Hi Jenn, despite being the loyal subscriber I am, never had I considered writing my own comment until now. The reason is closely connected to what you said in the video -- I'm a terrible writer. I usually don't have the motivation to write out my own thoughts because there's always a better representation of my feelings in the comments section. A simple like seemed to save so much time, and that way I wouldn't have to struggle to find the appropriate words that could describe my mixed emotions. But after hearing your most personal stories about your mother and battles that first generation parents undergo in general, I realized how reflective they are of my own family's struggles. I'm connecting with you on so many more levels than ever before. I'm glad your heart is settled in a beautiful place now. Those ups and downs I'm sure served as a robust foundation for you today just as your parents had hoped for. They must be so proud of you. And as a Korean American who hasn't reached your stage yet, I'm filled with an immense measure of hope to continue to pull ahead after watching this video. I know we've never seen or interacted with each other in real life but please know that your positive energy constantly inspires people from all around. Love you always.

[@sschan5660]

Hi Jenn, my son was born in Germany and he is half Hong Kong Chinese/German. I guess he is going to face all the problems during his journey in life here. Its so great you shared your experiences so whole-heartly. Being able to be born and embrace two cultures are a great things. There are so many interesting things that people who grew up with a single cultures won't be able to have. Thanks so much for sharing!

[@brigadiergeneral9920]

Hello, how are you doing today? I’m Fremlin

[@2cwl4u]

thank you jenn. your voice has been so incredibly strong in my experiences growing up. after watching this i realized that you helped me grow up as a korean-american. i was able to watch your positive videos as i’ve grown up and i am so so proud of myself now. thank you so much i will always support you ❤️

[@Suny807]

I'm so glad you made this video?? It's personal, &real, &honest in a way a lot of recent videos feeding off of the trendiness/profitability of kculture/kpop are not. I'm Korean American. I loaathed the racist jokes as a kid (the pee in your coke rhyme, the ch*nk slur, the eye-related gags, the "dog eater" insults), & how people always assumed I was Chinese. But I related to your struggles w the model minority myth, too, just from a diff POV. I did well in school, but it was always attributed to my vague Asian ethnicity. No matter how hard I worked, or what individual talents I might've had, it was all bc I was Asian - it didn't count. My peers resented me for "making them look bad" when I tried my best & good grades only confirmed how different I was. On the other hand, if I slacked off & didn't stick out academically, then there was something wrong w me - I wasn't Asian enough. Further, bc Asians were somehow seen as a different breed, I & other Asian students were evaluated at a higher standard. We were compared to each other, & expected to constantly exceed while competing w each other. I also felt your struggles w your parents were Relatable AF?? I was raised by my immigrant mom who at times worked multiple jobs, & spoke fragmented english. My desire to assimilate & fit in other kids was already driving me apart from my heritage when I saw other adults disrespect my mother for having an accent, working in retail, & looking like a small Asian woman. It was hard to recognize my mother as the incredibly strong & hardworking person she was/is when I only saw people looking down on her & when I couldn't talk to her. It was hard to communicate with my mother, who was busy with work, had a different education/cultural upbringing, & spoke a different language. Oh, & I was also sent to Korean school for a short time in 4th or 5th grade, but transportation was difficult, & I didn't mind quitting bc I was embarrassed to be in classes with 5-6 yr olds learning the alphabet. Nowadays, I code switch like I imagine you do. 😓 I'd still love more Asian American visibility in western media (like you!), but it's nice to see kpop/kbeauty/kdrama/kmedia grow out here, & to know this growth has positive effects on Korea's economic/political stability. Uh, I think this essay is enough. Thanks for sharing you experiences so candidly. I hope your parents are well, and your mother is happier nowadays. Love&support. 💕

[@angelisri]

Thanks for sharing Jenn! My ethnicity is Sri Lankan but I was born and grew up in Scotland where there aren’t a lot of brown people. It was frustrating growing up with people automatically assuming I was Pakistani, Indian or even black (not even the right continent! 😂). It’s also annoying when people ask the question “where are you from?” Because the answer is “here, just like you” but I would always just say “my parents are originally from Sri Lanka”. I think most of us first gen kids come into ourselves eventually and realise it’s actually really cool to have 2 or more cultures that you can call your own :)

[@jackycanas2160]

This video resonated with me so much. My parents immigrated here from Mexico and have sacrificed everything to give me the opportunity to be something. I am a first generation Mexican American and a first generation college student. My dad has held two jobs for 30+ years to make sure we had what we needed. I just want the opportunity to better their lives the way they have mine.

[@naomischeung]

Thank you so much for this video Jenn! 💕 I definitely didn’t experience the racism you did in school because my school was half white and half Asian, so I never felt uncomfortable because of my race, but I have experienced a handful of microaggressions in the city which made me start being insecure in college, because I didn’t know whether or not my peers viewed me differently because of their upbringing. This video helps to know that other Asian-Americans have felt this this insecurity and identity crisis, whether it’s to your extent or as mild as mine, but it helps to know that I’m not alone. I hope this conversation only gets louder because we have been silent for too long and so many of the points you made don’t get brought up enough. The model minority mindset you brought up is something I have definitely felt and others probably have as well, and it’s so toxic for our mental health to be pressured to be perfect.

[@miche8868]

your mom's story made me choke up, i feel like i 100% know where that drive is coming from and i can't bear the thought of your sweet mother in that situation.

[@cocohong]

I'm asian too, not asian American, but a course I took at my college called: asian American literature really gave me a lot of insight into not only asian Americans, but also the asian mentality and struggle. your lunch story reminds me of the scene in Fresh Off The Boat! He wanted lunchables as well!

[@imjennim]

Yesss, when I saw that scene I screamed. So relatable!

[@mariahfrazier4733]

Thank you so much for making this. I’m Filipino American and this was AMAZING. I’m a very stoic person and I’m just like crying right now lol. I have been oppressed and felt distant from my heritage and since coronavirus I have been shown a lot more racism in my everyday life and I really need this so that I could relate to someone. You are so strong, thank you so much

[@knowyourdesire]

젠, 당신을 알게 된 건 몇 년 전이지만 이 영상을 보고 당신에 대한 생각이 180도 바꼈어요. 늘 웃고 있고 화려하게 살아가는 젠의 모습 보면서..풍족한 집안에서 모두의 사랑을 받으며 컸다고 생각했는데 제 착각이었네요. 미안해요. 응원할게요

[@peace7321]

헐 완전 공감해요.. 항상 밝고 웃어서 정말 사랑만 받고자란줄알았는데 10대때 부모님과의 관계와 반항기가 심했다는것도 듣고 너무놀랐어요 생각했던게 아니라서,,

[@VSKim-ff1ez]

김연두 저도 풍족하게만 자랐다고 생각했는데 역시 인생은 맘먹기달렸어요!! 저런 미소를 지을수있는건 열심히 살았기 때문에 나오는 당당함 이었어요!!

[@웃음눈물향]

저도 그렇게 생각했네요. 반성합니다. 아무일도 없었던 사람은 없는 것 같아요. 다들 나름대로의 시련을 겪고 사는 것 같네요. 인생은 누구에게나 만만치 않은것 같아요. ㅎ

[@luce7380]

I lived in the US for 9 years since until I was in 7th grade and then I came back to Korea... Now I'm 23 and am bad at both Korean and English..... I wish I could be just good at just one language. It just makes me angry when I can't say what I want to say in both languages. A lot of people still ask me if I'm Korean American, but I'm not. When Americans look at me, they definitely wouldn't think of me as a Korean American.. I sometimes still get angry at my parents for coming back to Korea. It was hard for me to get along with everyone when I first got here and I still think that my personality changed after getting here. I got bullied for not knowing Korean well and I just didn't have a very happy school life. For me, I only have good memories of the US... so I wish to go back someday!

[@또니-s9w]

영상 잘 보았습니다 잠시 해외에 체류하였을때 이민 1세대 부모님들이 얼마나 많은 고생들을 하시는지 이해 할 수 있었습니다. 그리고 간혹 외국에서 자란 교포들을 보면 잘못된 편견으로 인해 한국인이라는 것을 창피하고 부정하는 사람들은 볼 수 있었는데 젠은 자신이 한국인이라는 것에 자랑스러워하고 또한 뷰티유투버로서 좋은 영향력을 끼치는 인물로 잘 자라주어서 저 역사 매번 영상을 볼 때마다 얼마나 뿌듯한지 몰라요 젠의 저의 뮤즈에요!

[@pstarke1066]

지금은 아니라지만 저분도 그런부류중에 한분이셨던거같은데요? 교포들중에도 특히 재미동포들이 핏줄 부정하고 한국말도 못하는 이유가 늘 궁금했는데 한국이 못살아서 그런거였군요 좀 충격이네요ㅎㅎ 다른 동남아출신 미국인들은 안그러던데 이것도 한국인들 종특인가? 핏줄이란게 못살땐 부정하고 잘나가면 인정할수있는게 아닐텐데 말이죠 그나저나 격세지감인게 저분이 유투버라서 그런걸수도 있지만 이젠 교포들이 한국말 못하는걸 창피해하는 시대가 다 오네요

[@ctnbermu8186]

근데 반드시 한국인이라는 것을 자랑스러워 할 필요가 있나요? 그건 개인의 선택 아닌가요. 교포 자녀들이 한국말 못하면 댓글로 엄청 한심하게 생각하는 사람들이 많던데 그게 그렇게 중요한가요? 출신국을 자랑스러워 하든, 부끄럽거나 싫어하든, 어느쪽이든 그 사람만의 합당한 논리와 이유가 있을텐데 한국이 뿌리라는 것을 자랑스러워하는것이 당연하고 마땅하다고 여기는 사고관 자체가 한국인 특징 인 것 같아요. 전체주의적 사고방식.

[@dakinibean]

You blossomed from being unable to communicate your feelings, to skillfully communicating them, and using that skill for the benefit of others. Turning a weakness into power is powerful kung-fu. Well done!

[@girlpower8582]

I usually dont write the comments, but I am a Korean grew up in Korea and moved to America when i turned to 21. i can relate a lot things to your mom. I am sure your mom and dad had so much pressure and struggled to survive in this foreign country. entire time you talked about your mom story, I tore so much and still even this moment that i am writing. i am so proud of your parents and you that overcame this type of hardship and be able to speak up! sometimes, my boyfriend (American) says "why do you pity yourself so much, there are so many people who came from different countries" but it is NOT easy to stay as a foreigner at all, although i am able to speak in US but not so fluent. To be honest, I dont think i will be able to feel like fitting in this society ever or comfortable. there are little things that bug me every single days. such as talking on the phone is not easy for me still... so requires a lots of patience for me and person who speaks to me and when i go to the doctor's office, nurse or doctor tell me a bunch of medical terms that i dont know (but i would probably know if he speak Korean) something like that and people probably would never feel it unless they experience them. Thank you so much for sharing your pain with this community. You are making your mom's happiness and smile and you succeed in this particular area so she would think that it was a great decision to move to the US :) well done, and you are a good daughter, Jenn!