growth shouldn't feel comfortable ✨ small business diaries

[@vampireantihero]

The struggle is real when it comes to imposter syndrome and being stuck in the mindset of anxiety paralysis. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@anabellstudio]

No words can describe how much I relate to this. I'm planning to quit my job to become an artist now, and it's about the scariest thing I've ever done, but I feel that my time has come, and I have to take the leap. Thank you for putting this out there - it's really soothing to know it's okay to be scared and act in spite of your fears anyway.

[@cynthiasmith2334]

I relate to this so much. Some things I do that help me are: write a list of reasons why I'm safe/ why everything will probably be okay, do some light movement like stretching or walking, and let myself take little breaks to do something fun and relaxing. I'm currently pursuing a career in graphic design, and it's a little overwhelming. I'd love to see a video on how to value your work more because people are constantly asking me to work for free or extremely low prices, and it makes me feel incredibly insecure. BTW I've been loving your painting videos! They always make me want to get back into painting, and sometimes I paint after I watch your videos :)

[@louiseheggendorn5307]

Thats a very common problem on graphic design. I did a lot of work for free. If you are a begginer and want the experience of doing work do it but if you think you don't need more experience please say no. People may ask you to do work for free saying that they want to evaluate your habilities but then they wont ever contact you again. If you already have a good portfolio don't accept this, do not engage in any work for free!

[@gamerstudios69]

I just opened up my online store last week, its a bit slow as expected but hopefully it starts growing faster soon. Its so much work; a part of me wants to tell myself "f*ck it" and quit but I know after lots of hard work and time, it has potential to be something really nice. We're all in this together, I guess. ✊️

[@kellyramirez7465]

This is really reassuring. I’ve been so anxious about starting and I’m not business or numbers minded. It’s embarrassing but I can barely do math to give change. 😂😢

[@KelseyRodriguez]

I double check basic math on my phone ALL the time. whenever someone asks me to do basic math it's like all my brain cells run for cover so I feel you lol. We've got this though!

[@AdamDuffArt]

I was missing your videos - I was so excited to see you uploaded something new :) - edit (yes I know you uploaded last week, I just get impatient for your videos!

[@isabellavieiraventura7384]

The timing of this video is incredible! As someone that is deeply insecure and anxious, I feel the exactly same way. I have also some pretty ambitious goals with my art, and I'm starting to actualy take steps towards it now. Every day is a battle against fear of failiure and imposter sydrome. But I can easily say that your videos have been helping me for some time, Kelsey. Thank you for having the courage to keep going, and help so many artists like me. Your content is amazing!

[@WaddleBlock]

This is probably the most perfectly timed topic for this to come out for me haha. I've been having the worst creative block in my life for the past few weeks, but knowing that growth isn't always comfortable is honestly very reassuring! I think what happened with me is that, when things got real tough, it felt like I wasn't progressing at all. It felt stagnant and sometimes even regressive. But overcoming these difficulties also factors into growth too! I think a lot of us see the end product of each project and only measure ourselves based on how it looks, rather than the steps and methods we did to get there. Anyways great video! ❤

[@micampbellart]

Thanks for the honesty, it's easy to assume everyone is confident and that we're the odd one freaking out... Last week I decided to take a step forward and had a complete breakdown over it. I'm glad my anxiety is more under control than it was, but we have to take care of ourselves. Best of success in your goals, and don't forget to put your health first!

[@benecetra1153]

Reading fanfics on ao3 to calm yourself down is so relatable. Same with me, but now I'm reading web manhwa, unfortunatly it become my procrastination routine (

[@sketchesofshay]

this video!!! 😤👏I have been feeling a lot of that fear and anxiety creep back lately, this was such a needed reminder Kelsey! some of the best things in life come from breaking through that fear and just jumping in. thank you so much for sharing your own experience💖 (also the new website looks great!)

[@ItsHannaLuna]

The way I get so happy anytime I see a new video of yours shows up on my feed. I absolutely adoreee your content! The vibes are always *chefs kiss* 🥰

[@ChantelleArts]

Such an important topic, same with looking backwards, if you aren't a little embarrassed, you haven't grown ☺☺☺

[@staceypeak199]

This may be your best video imo. Thank you for being real and vulnerable in order to extend an olive branch to other artists. Your advice about going into therapy hits home because I have been strongly considering it myself. I feel so stuck. This video is the encouragement I need. Also, congratulations on moving ahead despite the warnings from others. I'm sorry to hear that they gave up.

[@lauralara2157]

You’re just one of the best content creator I follow no matter what. You’re so talented and real. Thanks for this.

[@hellencristini7889]

I love how down to earth you are! You are a rock that doesn’t let me be start in my endeavors. And the new haircut is FIRA

[@itsgracekeeley]

Extreme relate to the ambitious but anxious at the same time - do stuff scared 💪🙌

[@kainovember]

I really appreciate you being real about this. I feel constantly scared and sometimes it makes it so hard to start. Seeing someone like you who I view as successful talking about this type of anxiety is really comforting. ❤

[@paperbearyoutube]

I feel this! I’ve experienced similar struggles with my art growth on social media. I’ve learned so much since I started, but the growth is definitely not a straight path, but consistency and continuing to keep going and try again even when things don’t make sense or when I don’t feel confident with my art/videos has helped a lot! I think social media makes us feel like things should happen faster than they do and we forget learning, achieving goals, growing businesses takes so much time! You’re doing amazing and you inspire me so much! Thank you for another lovely video! 😊💕

[@KelseyRodriguez]

YES. The stuff that always goes viral are the insanely fast transformations, or the people that get results immediately, and 99.99% of people don't experience that, you're so right! Thank you for watching

[@natuvampire]

A good reminder that going through a beneficial phase is not going to feel like that during the time. But after.. that makes it count.

[@L0rar3]

Until recently I've never been someone to have concrete "idols" Sure, I know artists I love but that was always more admiration than the feeling of having an idol But now I think I do have two idols. Less for an artistic reason (I love your art, don't get me wrong here! We just do very different stuff; I'm doing digital character art ":D) but more for a personal one. You inspired me to shoot my shot and upload my first few YT-videos. You inspired me to take me and my work seriously and believe in the possibilty of being a fulltime artist. I really appreciate this video (heck, I appreciate all of them because you give the advice and insight I don't get anywhere else). It's now easier for me to recognize that I'm not the only one being scared, constantly anxious and suffering from imposter-syndrome. It kinda makes me feel less like an anxious alien and more like a fellow human. Thanku for that. I really appreciate these more personal videos (this one as well as the last one [..? or the one before], where you talked a little about your past and family stuff...) Maybe this is weird as hell but I hope it doesn't feel uncomfortable to you I just wanted to say: Thank you. After years and years of not really getting the concept of an "idol", I finally understand what it means and can move inside me. Thank you for motivating me and making me feel less alienated from this world. Thank you for enabling me to believe in myself, even if it's just a brief few moments a week. You and Marc Brunet are my idols I think. For artistic reasons, yes. But especially for personal reasons. Have a sweet day and stay hydrated ✨ PS: sorry if it's weird or too personal to say this here. I'm autistic and have difficulties knowing what is allowed to be sad and what not ;_; If this is inappropriate in any way I'm sorry and will delete this comment

[@bethn2836]

Thank you for mentioning this! Big opportunities can be so scary! I’m already an anxious little introvert who doesn’t like attention, but being an artist, you kinda NEED attention to sell your work. I was recently approached by a big magazine about featuring some of my work in it. It coincided with a bunch of big life events and changes for my young family, and I just couldn’t handle any more anxiety and pressure. Sure it would have been potentially awesome for my art business, but at the same time, was it worth wrecking my mental health right now to pursue it? I decided it wasn’t, and boy did that make my life a good chunk more manageable. Hopefully I get another opportunity like that again, but if not, I’m at peace with the choice I made. I’m happy to play the slow growth game.

[@Coloremia]

Thank you for this video, Kelsey!

[@solotumisericordia2975]

Thankyou soooo so much, dearest Kelsey, for you invaluable advice, it really helped me and made me understand what I'm going through. And I'm so grateful to you for all the wonderful things you have taught me in your channel, I'm returning to my art after many years and God put you on my path. May He always bless you and you are always in my prayers. I love you very much.

[@Celeyo]

Hey as a small artist who goes mini-viral every now and then compared to my account size, I just wanna say it's so nice to see you talk about the difficult side of success online (this is my alt account no one knows about). For me, beside the anxiety that comes with it and potentially failing, there's also the sudden rush of adrenaline and I have a real problem with resisting checking my numbers as they go up. I don't actually want to care about it but I can't stop it and it's genuinely difficult. I'm by no means ungrateful, but at the same time it's almost like a form of torture that fries my mind and makes me unable to focus on anything. And it feels super lonely to have no one to talk to about it. I feel like the more I grow the less relatable I become. So it's so nice to see someone talk about the difficult sides of success.

[@vickiepellouchoud1736]

i know you get a million comments here but HAD to write and just say how welcome and needed this message is hitting me hard this morning. i recently got laid off from gaming job and am giving this life my all now. ALL the things give me that anxiety and i already had that anxiety!!! keep on painting, i can see a real talent here and follow you diligently to learn keep on painting!!! its such a comfort!!! do it scared do it anyway post it is up on my workspace now along with all the other things!

[@havenberg]

Thank you for being so transparent! It is so helpful to hear the truth about the process

[@BenMoon_]

Keep at it Kelsey, we will always wait for you 😊 You're amazing!

[@jessicajovel7162]

As a grad student in biology, this really resonated with me. I came across your channel for your videos about resources and books for learning art. I ignored my hobbies for school, that happens to a lot of kids, I also didn't practice them because I was too perfectionist. Now that I'm in university, as much as I hated the online mode, it gave me the opportunity to take on writing, painting and drawing, which I really had neglected my whole life. I guess I will eventually feel the way you describe in the video towards my art, since I am scared to see my bad drawings and terrible dialogue. But right now, as a grad student in biology, this really resonated with me. Basically it's scary getting out of my comfort zone, and realizing the stage of my life being a student is coming to an end, my whole life is changing, but it shows in every little thing: The statistics I have to learn which terrify me and for a long time disgusted me (one of the reasons I chose biology, besides loving nature and wishing to see its wonders, was getting away from math things -__-), the surveys in the coast I really wanted to do for such a long time, now I'm really scared that they're finally happening, identifying organisms and messing it up, I keep imagining looking at the professors during the presentation of my thesis proposal, and how they will point out just how ignorant and lack-experienced I am in identifying the fishes and yet I dared on doing my thesis on precisely that (which was what I really wanted to do, it's my dream to work with those organisms and in the field), yesterday I went to a conversatory and I asked a master if she had openings for volunteers, because I need the experience and contacts, and even if it went well, I was happy but also a nervous wreck afterwards, I couldn't believe I asked for it. If it gets worse than this, I will go to therapy, but anyway, yeah, I will continue working in it. It's my dream to work in nature. And I'll continue with art, even if it's just a hobby I take really seriously, I know that if I don't continue with it, I'll regret it. It's hard taking on my hobbies again, time-management procrastination and all. But I believe I can make it.

[@jbloom5925]

Been feeling this way myself, finally got the opportunity to do an art program and I've been having anxiety filled dreams of paperwork being lost, hair falling out... my first thought was to come here to your channel to see if you had made a video on this, these feelings, I'm so thankful that you have shared.

[@lisaia7877]

😱 omg! Grats on the blanket!! That’s one of the products I hope to make as well🎉 so excited to see you advancing

[@lauralarosa.]

I love your content, it’s so open and generous and always inspires me 😊

[@Fuzzycryptid]

Oh man. This hit hard, because at that point you described where your channel took off, you had so many eyes on you, you were anxious, and you succeeded anyway-- I failed. I was going really hard on youtube in 2021. One of my videos took off and got over 100k views. I made a thank you video for the sub milestone it rocketed me past, and then I dipped for 3 years. I still haven't been back. I'm always thinking of the half-finished comeback video I have sitting on my hard drive. The momentum is gone, my track record is one of a quitter, but I also know can still come back to it at any time and do it scared anyway.

[@KelseyRodriguez]

you did it once! Maybe this is my own survivorship bias talking but I think that makes you way more likely to be able to succeed again should you return to the platform. Sometimes we get really caught up in our own heads for how we’ll ever beat our own personal best or create an adequate sequel to a standout hit, but what’s more important is just continuing to create at all and focusing on making memorable work that provides value and satisfies our own creativity. Tag me when you post a video again and I’ll give it a watch!

[@LuizHenrique-gm1cc]

Im not an artist, but I love your reflective videos. It's so true the part you talked about tutorials. This video gave me inspiration to start a project in my field.

[@chungusmychungus]

This has been my favorite video of yours for being so honest, relatable and inspiring. ❤

[@beyondallreason-du4pq]

I'm so glad you are talking about this...!!! Especially because you are one of the artists in admire

[@sarahjertkvist5814]

I really appreciate your authenticity. Those two wolves have been living in me my entire carrier. ^^;

[@patricksartdesigns]

My anxiety comes from not being good enough to sell anything and keeping up with the demands, and I joined the discord to help learn from others. It gets to the point where I just want to give up and not continue

[@lrkreations]

thank you for this. I thought I was the only one feeling like this! You definitely inspire me to show more of this side to my audience as well. I always felt that I would lose people's interest if I shared the 'scary' stuff and be judged as the 'imposter'.

[@katyasaur]

In the 13th minute I’m holding myself not to cry Thank you for that video ❤

[@sarabreugelmans4859]

Thank you for showing the struggles of growing as an artist. It's not all sunshine and rainbows, despite what most people seem to think Also, Criminal Minds rocks 😊

[@brushandbird]

Only sends messages via carrier pigeon had me. So my vibe but also like you there’s part of me that gets so inspired and ambitious and feels like I can do ANYTHING. It’s such a weird dichotomy.

[@LouiseHeggendorn-art]

This video is just what i needed to hear, ive been working on my new website as well and god it's a lot work to do. My anxiety is all over the place.

[@CoolKaius]

Eventual aspiring art KZbinr still in their researching forever phase ✨ BUT I'm making progress on health goals that'll make it more psychically accessible for me c: So glad a friend recommended your Discord to me. There's so much valuable info in there!!

[@Sarahjo23]

As an autistic person, let's just say I was born highly anxious... and I relate to your video and many of the comments here. Thank you for this video, the timing is amazing!! I will actively research things until I am more confused than when I started. Yikes. My website I have been working on since October last year and I just can't bring myself to press publish until it is exactly how I want it. I need to get a move on and just do it!

[@diariodeunartista]

Literally my situation at the moment. I understand you. I'm currently feeling so much, my chanel is growing and it's been hard to even do pole dance or create art

[@kelpums]

thanks so much for sharing this!! I never heard of someone also feeling like this and it really makes me feel seen!!

[@NettieBags]

Thanks for sharing these beautiful, real truths with us. ❤

[@jasonstreet_art]

Thank you for this video. It really was a good reminder for myself and for others. The lows and highs are a roller coaster of emotions sometimes. 🤗 nice work. I love your videos.

[@TjVoelkerArt]

I really loved this one. I so appreciate you being vulnerable and honest. I am 67 and thinking about starting a KZbin channel, but I'm paralyzed right now. I don't know where to start first. What if I screw it up? Do I need all the "things" first? (that's usually my m.o., I get all the things and then do nothing with it) I still haven't even done my website. I worry because I am not an artist that traditionally has product to put on a website. I do commissions, but I want to branch out. So many questions about what order to do things in and it's paralyzing, as I said, plus there's the whole care-giver, elderly pets, "I'm 67, how much time do I really have left to build a following, etc." Anyway, I enjoyed your video.

[@mattiascrowe2549]

Thank you for posting this! This is super inspiring to just make some stuff right now!

[@Emilysartjourney]

Oh my gosh, thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm in the midst of growth and so many changes in my art journey. The anxiety and imposter syndrome are so tough to deal with. 🤗

[@MariannesStudio]

It’s so inspiring seeing you take huge steps for your art and your business. I relate strongly to the two wolves thing too 😂

[@d.9882]

You inspire me so much. Thank you!🩷

[@chikkenhawke]

very timely reminder as someone who is stepping into an eventful period of career growth as an artist!!

[@KuldaevaWatercolor]

Dear Kelsey, Thank you so much for being brave and for creating this video for all of us ❤ You and everything you so is so very inspiring to so many artists out there ✨ Thank you!

[@kitfuzzywhiskers]

Read the title and already know this one’s for me

[@ImPinkKat]

IMMA SAY IT THE ART YOU WAS DOING HERE IS SO GOOD i loved watching you paint while eating my lunch xD

[@ImPinkKat]

Also the blanket looks amazing might get one 🎉

[@xyla2235]

"I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it scared." THIS

[@jardimdosdoze80]

Thank you, this video helped me a lot, gonna watch one more time 😅

[@TmHudsonArt]

This is what cripples me too....anxiety and feeling like everything must be too perfect. My current project is to get my patreon launched. I am working on adding content...just need to do the darned launch lol.....aaarrrgghhh!!

[@sayoartz]

Your art is amazing! I love it. And your videos are always fun to watch ;)

[@zakaevz-art-6771]

All of this deeply resonates

[@lisaia7877]

Also v much relate to every ounce of this video 😵‍💫😮‍💨

[@L0rar3]

I appreciate this video so much In general I appreciate you being so honest about life and being an artist I'm on a similar path rn and just hoping to get to a point where I can live off my art before mentally crashing down (hope it's okay to say that here) I'm so afraid I can't work a regular job because of my ptsd, anxiety, autism and adhd, I'm doing my very best to use my last year of studying to grow as much as I can Even if everything fails and I won't be able to work as an artist for some more time (or even ever), I can still proudly say that I did my very best

[@tesskealoha]

Kelsey comes to the rescue with her videos whenever i feel like my work is inadequate or unworthy✨🩵thank you

[@d.9882]

I wish i could like this more than once

[@colbywheeler6958]

Can you make a video that focuses more on your thoughts about copyright and your artwork? Love the video also ❤

[@laurelr.6181]

With so much appreciation, thank you for this message. You really provided me a sense of tranquility and motivation that its okay to not always be comfortable, this video felt a little too personal (:'D) But again, thank you so much for all you do, I'm excited to continue following you on your creative journey.

[@KelseyRodriguez]

it was meant to hit a littleeee too close to home for some folks to hopefully help spark some change hehe. I'm glad you liked the video!

[@RillieyArt]

Exellent video Kelsey!

[@KelseyRodriguez]

thank you Rilliey!

[@HuskersSlave]

I feel like giving up on art, ive been drawing for uh.. well over 10 years and i dont think im where i should be, it really sucks :(

[@KelseyRodriguez]

everyone's journey is different! if you feel like you aren't growing, maybe make a curriculum for yourself to follow and try to find a mentor in the style you're aiming for

[@DreArtSpace]

That’s an interesting perspective

[@papercuts500]

Do it scared is my new moto

[@edithiamartino5414]

Hey what beautiful page !! I would love to see a tutorial of adobe xd !! i did not know square space was good? it is worth it? Can you MAKE A VIDEO ON THAT ? Much love from Argentina !! Thanks a lot love your videos!!

[@fuzzydragons]

success can be stressful and overwhelming!! I dont want it lol (ok, people buying art and saying hi! is really nice tho😀)(but im too much of a hermit to prob network properly lol)

[@suzetteurbano6876]

**hugs**

[@dobisPR780]

Please post a just-Spooky video 🐈‍⬛

[@autumnsartstudio]

My anxiety is why I don’t post anymore. People have told me that means this isn’t for me. What’s the point of posting if I have nothing educational to give? I don’t want my socials to become nothing but negativity or using my viewers as therapy. I have a full time home health job over 40 hrs a week. I don’t have the energy to record videos after work or my days off.

[@skyeohameze]

🎉❤

[@TerraCorvusEntertainment]

No, you shouldn´t be embarised (Spelled that wrong didn´t I) Even thoug I haven´t been there myself yet, I can imangine that it would feel a bit overwelming. That´s okay. You are not ungreatfull at all. You just feel things. many things at once. And our feelings are valid and something we cant really controll. I think its great that you share these things.🥰 BTW: when you started with KZbin, did you also face so many technical struggles? For me its always something. Not enough storage room, program suddendly not working even though it always did before and right now, my video wont render. Always when I replace the clip, the debuglog told me, would be currupted, suddendly its another one. Failed to recieve frame from buffersink. Whatever that means. The video was sopose to come out in Januray 🥲 Sometimes it feels like, I´m the only person who has issues like this, while the otheras can just upload something new whenever they want. 😅 I bet its not really like that, but that is what it feels like. So, I would like to know if you had situations like this, or anyone else reading this.