GRWM : Recovering People Pleaser edition

[@LalaMakeupGirl]

This video has me in tears. I just wish people (my friends) would treat me and go above and beyond, like I do to them. My loyalty sets me up to cross oceans for "friends" that wouldn't cross the college dorm hallway for me. 😢❤

[@mslynn2125]

I'm was totally a people pleaser and still am to a degree so I do understand the struggle to pull away from unhealthy "friendships" and I also understand the underwhelming of this season Beyonce 😂 but I still love her too lol

[@LoveMarriageCoffee]

Agreed! Stop seeing people for who they pretend to be. see them for who they are. It makes life a little less complicated.😌

[@hawajay]

Why did I relate to this so much. I can’t be that friend that does the bare minimum or does that surface level shananigans. You call me and IM THERE don’t matter what I’m doing. I did learn that a lot of people don’t deserve that side of me hence they don’t deserve to be in my presence or my life. I got comfortable with my small circle that I’m not looking for new friendships but when I meet a genuine person I’m not opposed to building with them as long as the energy is reciprocated. I loved this video thank you queen 💓🫶🏽

[@tiarramonet]

You said A WORDT !! Some people ( us ) need to learn how to gate keep OURSELVES

[@BREE1126]

GIRL OMG! I wasn't gon even go back this far into your videos because I'm supposed to be studying RN, but then I said "fuggg it where TH she been anyway" and girl I got to listening to this video and why did I get emotional?? I'm over here like DAYUMMM she be experiencing this shi TOO?? Like I wanna fly out to you TONIGHT and start our best friendship! OMG I didn't know we would feel so identical in something soooooo.... idk what to call it persay but you get my drift! OMG , send me a post card or something!

[@ElizabethCierra]

Omg! This is sooooo me! I used to be a social butterfly and the ultimate people pleaser but I ALWAYS over extended myself, never said "no" and sacrificed me and my desires for everyone else. Now that I have curbed that approach all of my loved ones look at me as the "problem" so now I stay to myself while being ambivert on other days. I wish you much success on your "People Pleaser Recovery" journey♡

[@ForeverCryssy]

Story of my life for about the past 5 years. I'm learning to pivot and sort out my own codependency and other behaviors that contribute to the chaos that overwhelms me at times. It's something about wanting bonds to run deep that I struggle with the most. I appreciate you for being open about this. It seems like a common theme amongst the KZbin creators-- searching for community and places that feel like home. Thank you! Keep shining 🌻

[@maryogun7822]

I can also relate to you and I’m in my early Thirties, I’m just hopeful that people have the emotional intelligence to really read people and now when to exit left if it’s not working. Self love & boundaries are everything ❤

[@lafemme8]

I'm definitely recovering from my people pleasing era. Rooted from yearning of acceptance, fear of rejection and from being taught to be that way from parents. Def affected my relationships with people. Now I'm living life for myself and I will still be a kind person but with boundaries and realistic expectations. Were you surprised to see which friends you lost from leaving your people pleasing ways?

[@VirgoGoddessXxo]

Adult friendships are hard when you’re an “all in girl”. I’m a recovering people pleaser too and therapy is teaching me how to detach, as well as how to compartmentalize “surface relationships” with ‘friends’ who may not be at the same level of emotional growth as you. It’s teaching me how to accept that others have subconscious, unhealed (childhood) wounds they haven’t yet resolved, & that this inadvertently shapes how they connect or even perceive connections differently. I use to take it personal, but this shift of perspective has taught me to let go of that expectation & simply meet ppl where they choose to meet me. And yes! Becoming more firm On your boundaries & not putting yourself last really seems to anger and irritate ppl who were used to benefitting or being comforted by your people-pleasing tendencies.

[@andye.3960]

I am at the stage in my life that I have a couple close friends and focus more on my family. Family over everything!

[@clernamarc1492]

I overstand how you feel. I was completely shocked that I was people pleasing and floored when I realized just how much I was giving and how little I was receiving. Currently struggling through how I want to handle these relationships. Wishing you and all the ladies in this comment section peace and clarity ❤

[@omadjourney]

Not me sitting here and hearing you tell my life story ,I' had to cut them all off, block them because I was giving all of myself physically, emotionally, financially and I'm now friends free and at such peace... good thing is I created a home I enjoy and I love my company. Sis what's that spray that doesn't transfer makeup at all as that's my biggest problem and I saw a friend lean on you and left nothing... I could never.

[@Speedyshades34]

That is so me… you described it perfectly!! I completely love the closeness. I am extremely LOYAL. I guess when you hit your forties. You begin to see things that were always there but you wanted to make the BEST of EVERYTHING!! I thought I was the only one who felt like that!! I want to have peace & easy smooth AUTHENTIC friendships!’ I will include you in when I continue to pray to get use to the new peaceful me as well😊🙏🏾

[@HopeGrant423]

This hits so hard! I am on the other side of healing where I am no longer mad or disappointed - I have even grieved these friendships. For many of those situations - it has come full circle! I have reconciled, forgiven and been forgiven but it will never be the same as it was and I am probably the villain in their stories but I am ok with it all.

[@YourLocalPaintshop]

I’m not really a people pleaser, but I did struggle with dissolving friendships in an “amicable way”, because I can’t predict how people will interpret what I’m saying or even understand why I’m doing it. Also, I’ll just add that I was never able to explain why I did it because emotions got to high lol. But I get what you mean!

[@sincerelylatasha]

I related so much to this! Thank you for sharing ❤️

[@JSJ22]

You should do more mini videos like this Tiarra! I loved this🥰

[@superwomanme]

At this stage in your life your dynamic has changed that's why your mindset and attitude have changed. You've gotten older, gotten wiser, gotten married, etc. Your friendship niche right now would most likely be married business minded women like yourself. People who actually have stuff to lose and can appreciate friendly competition as well as sharing life goals, life plans, marriage tips, etc

[@Shopaholic_Inc]

Yass, this is why we need the content to continue,T!! & we on the same journey, f$&# them people, i’m doing what pleases ME (and God, our son & sometimes my husband 🤣) & I agree, it’s givin cult - I’m too old to be a mindless follower ❌

[@kunmbi12]

This resonates with so many of us.

[@SimyR]

What did you spray your neck line with for the makeup not to transfer? Loved the video!

[@fredojacques7342]

Waiting for the answer to that

[@AfricanUrbnLegend]

I'm so glad you said that about Beyonce. I'm not feeling it either. She's not dancing like she used to. The show is giving Zsa Zsa Gabor to me. Still love her, though

[@ChrishelleMonet]

Adult friendships are especially difficult after you get married. Ppl gradually fall off bc they only connect with the previous version of yourself. Also, about Beyoncé, you’re not alone. If you’re not feeling it, it’s for good reason. Save your coins, save your soul, and don’t attend the concert.

[@g.e.m9950]

Thank you for sharing this I’m currently going thru this

[@tiarramonet]

Whew aren't we Awl 🥺🥺 sending positivity sis

[@Craft.Sleep.Repeat]

I went through a traumatic friend breakup last year. I decided not to “get into it” with her because I’m hoping in another 10 years we’ll be able to talk again.

[@Ccgemini]

The concert is on the internet so much that I’ve seen the show many, many times. You are growing and NOT a everyone can grow with you and that’s ok. When you get are married, have children your priorities, conversations, lifestyle will change because you are growing and growth is nurturing your self because you pour into others. Don’t be hard in yourself.

[@TiannaLife]

Great video as always. Which setting spray you used for your face! I need to try that trick 😂

[@cdl2108]

I think it is OneSize Patrick Starr. Spraying onto the neckline…game changer!

[@Datb2]

any bridge i burned is necessary i would never reconnect with someone I got rid of but thats just me tho

[@cinema-q]

6:16 I cant see this. What setting spray is that yall?? 😩🙏🏾

[@ebby_ebby]

Have you met Makeupd0ll yet? She’s a KZbinr in Atl and she recently did a video about the challenges with friendships as an adult. Maybe ya’ll would get along! And then invite me too b/c I feel the same as you both do 😂

[@tiarramonet]

Awww ! I have followed her for some time, sucks that we're all in the same rut!

[@chinawhite913]

Tiarra can we get some more Hair videos just like back in the days ....please 🙏🏽

[@sherryguine2382]

Hey Lovely ❤️😍✈️✈️✈️💰💰💵💵💵Blessings

[@tiarramonet]

Hi my loveeee

[@JoJo-op5xy]

Do you still use rogaine?

[@natasharochelle3218]

When adult women struggle with friendships, with more than two or more friends, it. You (us)! I get one, but more than one, it you (us) and not in a good way, especially if it’s not ending cordially!

[@Bella_263]

Are you still friends with Nikita?

[@Beautylovechild]

Right! I wonder if they are still friends?

[@lafemme8]

Once I got to see the real Tiarra as she revealed herself I can see why her and Nikita would clash now. IF that is the case. She has headstrong, "bossy", "motherly", type of personality that clashes when people are no longer going with the flow. Just my observation as I seen this before with other friendships.

[@Beautylovechild]

@@lafemme8 Nikita does not give of bossy! She gives off good friend, motherly, business women, and a good vibe. You must be looking at someone else!