The Price of Pretty Privilege | Analyzing Malena ft. Angelina & Marilyn

[@halanuman]

Reading the influx comments has been really touching -- to see all your stories and compliments. I've noticed all of you new subs in the last couple of days, welcome soul family! Happy you're here with me. I'm releasing a new analysis, v soon, on the film "Girl, Interrupted" in a new way you've NEVER heard before and you can use the information to your benefit. Stay tuned ♥

[@lowkeyemilia]

this video alongside with your channel has popped up in my recommendation so randomly and that was the best thing the algorithm has ever did to me.

[@Jenviper]

Can't wait!

[@DWPersianExcursion]

Wow. WOW this was a tearjerker ❣️ new sub

[@tcrijwanachoudhury]

Love that book and film! ❤

[@Literallyarealhuman]

Or men who say they love you without thinking

[@Thehurricanejackie]

The worst part of being beautiful is the jealousy of other women and the anger of men who can’t ever have a chance…

[@halanuman]

Period!

[@hsd287]

Can't blame them though it's not that those ppl aren't deserving enough but looks play a deciding factor I have sworn to never focus on a person's looks too much I'm sure certain self obsessed ppl would enjoy possessing what others dont and even shame them for it that's where insecurity comes from

[@hsd287]

@@halanuman I feel u should not agree with such comments that shame ppl for not being beautiful or not having a chance and being upset for it ur only making it worse

[@hsd287]

We need to change the mentality that a bad looking man doesn't deserve a good looking woman and vice versa

[@3xitthissid3]

@@hsd287 they shouldn't though. a pretty woman who puts effort into her appearance deserves a man who's also putting effort into his - not the Adam Sandler fantasy that ya'll want so much. do you think looking good is something you just wake up with? women need to groom themselves (hair removal for ex), and style their hair and clothes in a way that's flattering and be skilled in makeup - not to mention how much it all costs. the prettiest of women deserve to be physically attracted to their partners and be as easily excited - not having to force themselves through physical intimacy. it's no longer the 50's where women financially depended on men and why you saw Monroe with _older_ not so attractive men. so yes all is fair.

[@chas353]

Pretty women are even faced with jealousy from insecure men which often isn’t talked about

[@Womanfemale12]

THAT IS A FACT.

[@chas353]

@@Womanfemale12 period!

[@Womanfemale12]

@@chas353 Has this happen to you ? And if yes do you have examples? Me for example was followed by a weird man who took pictures and videos of me.

[@chas353]

@@Womanfemale12 basically I reconnected with a old childhood friend this year, and we hit it off at first. Going out, dating, having fun. At first he would always compliment me on my appearance and how pretty I am but he would then talk down on himself. Now my friends and my sister were like girl he’s ugly etc. but looks don’t matter to me, I love a persons vibe and personality. Make a long story short, he started to be more insecure around me. For example we went out to the movies this summer, and me personally I’m a total girly girl so I love dressing up (nothing too much, but i do wear a lot of pink) when we got in line he was like scoffing at my outfit and saying things like “well maybe next time I’ll wear a tuxedo” and rolled his eyes. And the whole date was a complete mess he didn’t want to stand too close to me, he was on his phone a lot etc. He gave me other back handed compliments like “not everyone has clear skin like you” in reference to me being well groomed and I’m really into my skincare. At first I was this pretty trophy for him to show off, but he didn’t like the fact that I looked “better” than him. I heard through the grapevine that he’s back with his ex, and not trying to toot my own horn, but you can tell she doesn’t really put herself together before walking out the door. He was also jealous that I was more smart, I speak proper, I’m friendly, I don’t smoke or do drugs etc. he literally went from Prince Charming to villain in a matter of weeks! He’s blocked and I don’t speak to him anymore, but it was disappointing because I really did like him (the nice version of him) I’m aware that I’m pretty attractive but I’m not arrogant. I’ve definitely faced a lot of jealousy from other women but never men until now. I think some men are intimidated by women who “shine” brighter than them, it like hurts their fragile masculinity. There’s actually a video on KZbin called “why boys are mean to the girl they like” it put some things into perspective for me. hope this helps !

[@Womanfemale12]

@@chas353 I understand you totally. I experienced the same thing. Ugly guys actually are the ones who have been the wo&rst kis$sers, the w&orst in attitude , always comparing themselves to me. First putting me on a pedestal and seconds later talking down to me. Guys only want one thing from me and if I don't give it to them they disappear. And i also have men who completely ignore me. Stay strong sister and stay with God if you believe in his existence. I'm thankful of being good looking but I never know how people are going to react when they see me the first time.

[@megantrent8449]

i can’t believe megan fox wasn’t a part of this video she’s such a perfect example of being demonized and limited because of her beauty

[@halanuman]

I considered adding her to this video and noticed there is one main difference between her and the counterparts discussed in my analysis: although Megan was victimized and taken advantage of by the industry weirdos, she made sure that she rose to the top once again. After almost a decade of being "shadow banned" by the industry and not getting any roles, she was able to withstand what they did and grow tremendously from it by continuing to garner media attention on her terms. Whereas Malena (a fictional character), Angelina, Cheslie and Marilyn ultimately either ended their lives or faded into obscurity.

[@isaacgray2909]

@its really complicated being nice to straight men I'm glad someone mentioned Rita Hayworth finally. Like people focus on Marilyn while Rita has a much worse and tragic life.

[@angelmilly2378]

@@halanuman wait Angeline faded into obscurity? 😭

[@serenitysubs933]

and maddison beer

[@sistersnnferreira3397]

I don't think Megan is in that context, she's beautiful but her life isn't tragic like Angelina and Marilyn and she doesn't have all that mystery and her career doesn't have anything that will be marked 50 years from now. Malena's context is more than just beauty.

[@pinkrosa44]

People don’t understand how SCARY a women’s jealousy can be. Wether you are pretty or not, insecure women will make your life a living hell, some even going as far as physically harming you or killing you… EDIT: I’m so sorry for what all you guys went through, let’s all become women who support each other and are kind to one another 🫶🏼❤️

[@Womanfemale12]

Indeed

[@gwynn2165]

Exactly.

[@nanazhezhe8271]

Examples?

[@damongirl66]

My first bully was my mother. She wanted a boy and she got me. Worse, I looked like my father. I was always getting beaten and told I was ugly and stupid. It set the bar re my choice of friends or the kind of women who were drawn to me. I've been threatened, stolen from, backstabbed, you name it. I've never had a female friend that I could trust and I don't have model good looks. I'm average girl next door (until I smile).

[@seren4740]

@@nanazhezhe8271 Raudha Athif

[@raniyuna2930]

And imagine that such women have men friends who are only hoping and waiting for chance, but if you don't give them, you aren't important as a friend for them.

[@Mirage238]

I finaly realized men are never your friends. They always expect something.

[@pebbles92able]

Yup I know that one 🥴

[@Womanfemale12]

Men and women can't be friends. No such thing as friends in the first place but a man will always want to have something more from you. It's in their biology. And it's ok. You only need God anyways.

[@Womanfemale12]

@@Mirage238 Yes

[@tandzilebhembe1255]

That's happened to me one too many times then also another thing they become distant and weird when they get into a relationship and come back when they single again all nice and sweet again acting like they care about you yet they still thinking they have a chance to hit.

[@picassoinverona1270]

The worst thing about being pretty is that men think it is for them. If you smile or just make eye contact it automatically counts as an invitation. The amount of times you get followed on the street, harassed, commented on, touched by strangers is so scary. Men jerk off on the street while looking at you. You get cornered in situations you can't really escape. Many of the worst experiences I had in life were because men felt entitled to my "beauty".

[@joemusashi7774]

This video centred on attractive women but some of what she described and what you described can happen with attractive men too. I've been considered an attractive man and have been harassed by women several times. Lots of them feel entitled to have me. I've been grabbed by the crotch by two of them. I can rarely have a conversation without women staring into my face constantly and not listening to most of what I say. One time one shoved her tongue than my throat in the middle of a conversation and wrapped her legs around me hard.

[@Womanfemale12]

@@joemusashi7774 What da? And you didn't consent to the last part right? What other things happened to you? I'm interested to know. And of course it isn't okay What they have done to you. Obviously

[@joemusashi7774]

@@Womanfemale12 I didn't. The last instance didn't bother me that much as she was good looking, but it still startled me for a bit. She was drunk so that partially explained it. I've had occasions where women would grab me by the shoulders at random. I worked in a bar for a while and it happened there quite a bit.

[@Womanfemale12]

@Joe Musashi Amazing. Is it harder for you to find a woman that loves you for you? When did you notice you were good-looking? Do you have jealous people? Are you dating somebody who is as good looking as you?

[@2xcrzkxk]

Girl I felt so alone but I'm glad this randomly popped up on my feed. This is so real it's such a burden.

[@margaret7949]

It was really heartbreaking watching Malena being so mistreated by everyone in her town. The lack of humanity overcoming by jealousy, also by the standards of society at that time was really overwhelming for her. Especially since women were always portrayed as muses for artists, their bodies objectives of desire inspired by Aphrodite. Instead of treating her like a human being they bullied her and the men assaulted her multiple times says a lot that society has not changed so much

[@halanuman]

It was so hard for me to edit this video because of that. I kept having to go through that scene and many others over and again. That’s why I felt that I had to put trigger warning before that scene of her being abused by the townswomen :(

[@margaret7949]

@@halanuman like we say in Greece "χαρά στο κουράγιο σου" (Kudos to your patience), because the film really made me sad about Malena being oversexualised and mistreated, but it showed the dark side of beauty privilege, still affects many in the modern world as well

[@margaret7949]

@its really complicated being nice to straight men many drag how golden the old Hollywood was, but they never mention how many of these actresses were mistreated, had to go into intense diet, plastic surgery, all while having zero support from the industry in terms of anxiety, pressure and mental health. I doubt many things changed since then in the industry, but especially old Hollywood had so many scandals of corrupted men mistreating these women

[@pebbles92able]

Yup. When I watched this movie, I wished I could be her friend.

[@guesswho5314]

@@pebbles92able I’ve noticed that a lot of pretty women like being around other pretty women, while it’s usually women who aren’t as pretty who don’t like pretty women.

[@dss129]

Former ugly duckling here; I can tell you that despite the dark side of being beautiful I would NEVER choose to go back to the harsh existence it was to be ugly. Society inherently assigns more HUMAN value to attractive people esp females. There is nothing more painful than feeling valueless or subpar value everywhere you go..this is why we relentlessly pursue beauty despite it’s futility

[@dud3man6969]

Men are treated much more harshly.

[@Katinahat293]

I just commented like the same thing. Yes beautiful people go through hardships because of their looks, but so do ugly people. Overall, ugly people are treated much worse. Almost subhuman sometimes and it’s some brutal pain Edited for misspelling

[@poppymoon777]

Well all women and men get old. There’s a leveling even in this life before it all ends. Gotta make peace with that.But enjoy it while it lasts.

[@jm8837]

Me too, I'm not saying I've already glow up but I just became really confident and knew how to groom myself. If being pretty could be this bad or could cost this much then I still want it. I don't want be that ugly anymore and still be unwanted.

[@elistari1050]

The most important thing about a pretty person is how pretty they are, and nothing else. The most important thing about an ugly person is how they make up for their ugliness. This is how society views the two ends. At the end of the day, the average person will win ultimately.

[@reinhardt5405]

My mom when young was a stunning looking woman. Men would often want to date her, women even her own sisters were jealous of her. Especially when she was chased after a millionaire man. My dad had to struggle and compete against other men in order to marry her lol Even as a kid I would notice how alot of men would be enthralled by her. The interesting part was that as she began to age, the attention she received was still present. Older men and even a few younger ones still wanted to be part of her life. To this day I firmly believe it was her personality. She was a good listener, always willing to help anyone. She was deeply caring about others. The friend you'd seek in your darkest days. Her looks and character gave off an explosion of charisma. Personally that's what I learned from her. Anyone can be handsome or beautiful but if you have only flesh and looks to provide, your value is not the highest. At the end of the day you in fact grow old.

[@Elven.]

exactly

[@cheyennec5546]

Only insecure women and girls obsessed with “Pretty Privilege” don’t realize that. I’ve seen those same women refuse to age, clinging desperately to whatever will keep them young as they believe LOOKS is what gets them the most benefit (aka attention) that they seldom work on the core of what keeps someone attractive: A GREAT PERSONALITY!! They soon become one of those miserable old biddies who speak so terribly of young women out of sheer envy of the beauty they wield, and to mourn the loss of their own.

[@Womanfemale12]

No idea if that's you on that profile picture but Lord have mercy this person is stunning

[@kellyhernandez8696]

@@Womanfemale12 IF THATS YOU THEN U ARE TOO

[@Womanfemale12]

@@kellyhernandez8696 I appreciate it sis 😊.💜

[@00st307-m]

This also highlights the function of the Patriarchy. When Malena (or Angelina) are married w an appropriate partner - they are shielded from attacks. It’s when they are alone - that they are seen as a threat. People respect beautiful women when they are married - bc they respect the man that “owns” her.

[@KelleyBroussardMackaig]

Woah... I never looked at it that way before... Dang.

[@00st307-m]

@@KelleyBroussardMackaig yup. Like just looking at how people are treating Brad vs Angelina post-divorce. It’s so blatant. 🥺

[@2xcrzkxk]

& if it's a good man, he will trust her & understand that others hovering or trying to be with her are not her fault, but just because of her beauty & help to shield her from those trying to sabotage their relationship. Because men can do the reputation dig just the same as women by being the guy that "tells" on the wife to the husband about how he saw her with some other guy. So that the relationship implodes & he also tries to be the super nice guy friend of the wife so he can swoop in. Toxic but it really happens.

[@klaudinegarcia8932]

I know it's just a movie but, I was so mad when her Dad abandoned her!!! 😡😭 Her Dad is also a misogynist because he's so ashamed his daughter is the town whore and that her worth and purity vanished.

[@danni761]

Right !

[@24-karat-plonker]

I've never had pretty privilege up until about a couple years ago and quite frankly I'm inexperienced in both romance and sex (I'm asexual). Ive expirenced both the good and bad of pretty privilege but the worst for me has been the treatment done by some people, mostly men, who tried to make me feel heard and cared for but only wanted to sleep with me. I learned that when you're both pretty and virginal it tends to attract the most manipulative and sickening predators, i swear😑 and when you turn down their advances it leads to so much hostility and cruelty that it made me genuinely frightened for my safety. Important lesson, it's always a red flag when someone is attracted to how "pure" you are. Edit: I should mention that i never told any of said men that i was a virgin right away, I only told them after i got to know and trust them after months/years of befriending them. As i said they made me feel heard and cared for and i felt (albeit naively) that i could trust them with this info.

[@Xena395]

“It’s always a read flag when someone is attracted to how pure you are”, this is 90% men nowadays seeing women as objects to be stripped of that said purity. It’s for them to do what they see fit to women, they’re so sick.

[@victoriapeay3019]

I feel you girl… :(

[@mxxxn]

Hit the nail on the head with this one. I've had way too many guys comment on my seeming "innocence" without even knowing me

[@pandora9814]

This entire paragraph has been my experience word for word. Its almost like we are the same person. I have to comment that watching a man that I thought cared for me, turn into a vicious monster after being turned down was really one of the many perspective changing experiences I've had. Everything down to fearing for my safety. Now I no longer expose the fact that I'm a virgin for fear that a man whom I turn down may seek revenge by taking it from me forcefully (r*pe)

[@SawakoKuronuma77]

This is so true!!

[@tonkababic9826]

Beautiful or ugly women can't get peace.

[@mbilemagret2872]

And I hurt it very selfish of everyone trying to pull us down

[@moonwqlker5844]

beautiful AND ugly women can’t get peace. however u look like, there’s always someone tryna bring u down!!! all we can do is find our own circle, and thrive for ourselves.

[@inyonderly]

I think a hole different problem is the fucking division in pretty and ugly . I am sorry but this is so dump . I don’t say there isn’t existing “pretty privilege” but it’s just the definition of beauty in our society. We are all beautiful and also can work on our beauty. Even when it sounds sucks it is that way and at least I am being honest. I mean u use make up right ? And I am truly aware THERE ARE THESE UNBELIEVABLE BEAUTY PEOPLE WHO HAVE PRETTY PRIVELEGE but THERE AREN’T UGLY PEOPLE . Maybe in ur eyes cause I mean everything is a judge but not in mine . I swear I have never seen an ugly person that others didn’t find beautiful.

[@mayttay1739]

This, sadly...

[@AnotherSkyTV]

Yep

[@darealestkai]

If you are considered ‘ugly’, people treat you like nothing, like you don’t deserve to walk the earth and think you’ll never find true love. But the moment that ‘ugly’ person is described and seen as beautiful, everyone acts different.

[@nisselelyag7997]

It's the same for beauty seen as objects

[@starr2870]

@@nisselelyag7997 also the fact that woman are always treated and seen as objects, its an on going thing for years and unfortunately for us were not treated as an actual human being

[@rebecca_stone]

It really depends, @Mrsprada76 - let's say you are "ugly" or what the French call "ugly-pretty" but have loads of style or charisma or character, or humour. People definitely don't treat you like nothing. Speaking from my own experience as well as having such treasured souls in my life. Americans and Australians generally have a very narrow definition of what's beautiful vs other parts of the world, including Europe.

[@darealestkai]

@@rebecca_stone But from my experience, I’ve been treated like nothing by people.

[@lovettdeleted]

yeah i'd rather be disliked for having something others don't, than being disliked for not having anything at all. the latter feels like a lose lose.

[@parkminrin9014]

Have you seen “The Most Beautiful Boy in the World”? It’s a documentary of Bjorn Andresen. He has the looks and everything as a child actor but the people in the industry exploited his innocence and childhood. It’s really sad. Sometimes beauty is a curse because on how society treats it.

[@Womanfemale12]

Beauty itself isn't It's the people around

[@parkminrin9014]

@@Womanfemale12 like i just mentioned it’s because on how society treats it

[@killeryhiltons8499]

Yup, he was sexualized at such a young age he suffered a lot .

[@florence.066]

I've seen that it's so disappointing 🥲

[@sopinha44]

Something similar happened to Brooke Shields, very sad.

[@Famous5821]

When you are beautiful, everyone thinks you already have it all. 1) Men even assume you are already taken. 2) People think of you as unapproachable . 3) no one asks you out. 4) oddly, other beautiful people gravitate to you, to speak to you and to be friends 5) People assume beauty goes with being rich - e.g people decide you may not need the job you are applying for.

[@Womanfemale12]

Bingo

[@Womanfemale12]

6 women and men are either extremely nice to you or can't stand you 7 women are scarr&Ed you steal their husbands 8 people assume you can't be s&ad

[@chanelimvu3554]

@@Womanfemale12 9. you are left out by girls. 10. Men and Women try to neg you.

[@ambo9569]

The worst part of being considered beautiful is how *unsafe* it is to be around men. You can never truly trust their intentions. Even my own male relatives I don’t spend much time around because the look in their eyes is attraction, not brotherly affection. It’s disgusting honestly.

[@Adaobi874]

This is very true. I used to worry about it, wondering whether i looked scary and unapproachable until someone explained it to me.

[@TheYazmanian]

I have a theory that many beautiful women experience social anxiety because from my young age everyone stared at us and would make comments about us, whether they were good or bad, and we became hypervigilant from it.

[@dreamscape405]

Great point!

[@rosiepink1]

I think it’s also because other girls would be so evil towards us

[@suellens.dasilvaribeirosue2630]

I agree...

[@pitinicori]

Without a doubt. For me, It started in the family home with an older cousin physically abusing me (biting my foot when I was an infant to the point of making me cry, tying me to a chair in dark rooms and putting scary music on, making up songs to humiliate me, always giving me an attitude when I walked around, giving me the evil eye -all this before I even developed a personality. Never had a safe space since I lived with her. My family tolerated her behavior and never chastised her). Then my brothers verbally abusing me whenever they had a hard day. Strangers with bug eyes staring at my lips and hair all lasciviously-they would say anything positive, uplifting any compliment and transform into anyone they thought could get my attention at all costs, it was and still is very confusing, disorienting, dizzying, scary. I was sexually abused at age 7. For all women who went through something like this, stay strong. It’s not worth it to feel defeated by broken souls of any age

[@Sarah-db3lz]

This !!!!

[@Tigglytoot]

Beautiful women get bullied all the time. I used to work at a place where the women there would purposely try exclude me out of everything- outings, jokes, conversations, etc. There was no lack of effort on my part trying to befriend these girls. I finally gave up and realized that I will not beg for anyone’s friendship. I have friends who love and accept me for who I am- they don’t judge me based on my looks which I don’t have a lot of control over anyway. Women are very insecure and they reaffirm that when they act like bullies to other women who they are threatened by. Also, just because a woman is attractive doesn’t mean she wants and steal your husband. The mistrust is ultimately of the husband or boyfriend not of the woman you fear he will lust for.

[@Womanfemale12]

Oh yes they all are scar&ed that you steal their boyfriend or husband. Like woman I don't even care about your life 🤦🏿‍♀️

[@diamondastar8734]

True. It’s mostly the ugly ones who cheat - men and women. You ever noticed that men with beautiful women cheat on them with ugly women? Don’t give a single F about those jealous people - be it females or males. You’ve something, they’ll never have. Enjoy it, sis. Enjoy it ❤

[@missstranger7697]

​@@Womanfemale12 True like she doesn't even ask for attention.

[@laurac263]

Must have been a poor choice of beauty if thats you in the pic

[@rogersinclair2772]

@@laurac263 Wow. Nice. Was that really necessary? Did you not see what Autumn wrote? "Women are very insecure and they reaffirm that when they act like bullies to other women" Recognise yourself? Read again and comprehend. Reflect for a moment.

[@zein.vlad.]

I cry everytime I watch Malena, as something very similar happened to me. Single mother alone, with a huge financial problem my ex left me, completely by my own, I couldn't find a job because "too pretty to be doing this". Couldn't cry or have any negative feelings, because "you're young and pretty, you have no problems". Men trying to take advantage of my situation, and women attacking me verbally and physically, acussing me of things I never did. I'm still waiting for the "pretty privilege" and the easy life everyone talks about. I haven't got anything but hate and harassment.

[@Womanfemale12]

It's called halo effect love. And women attacked you physically how? Can you give me an example? And have you ever had men you didn't know be extremely ru &de to you for no reason?

[@cosmicionicc5134]

Yeah this comment sounds a bit delusional. If your better looking ur more likely to get a job. That goes for men and women Legit no one is gonna be turned down because your to pretty. And I also highly highly doubt anyone who turned someone down for a job would out right say oh it’s cuz your to pretty so op is straight up just speculating that the reason she was turned down was cuz of her looks. I will say though the second comment abt people saying she’s to young and pretty to be sad abt things I do believe. Because there is a halo effect and often time people associated better looking people with more positive things like happiness and it can be hard for them to realize they have problems too. But a majority of this comment sounds like a huge cope out. I highly doubt it’s just cuz ur pretty people r treating u this way there’s def more to it. Also I wanna point out it’s not just pretty people that get harassed or sexually harassed I see comments in sections of videos like this were people who consider themselves pretty talk abt sexual harassment like it only happens to them cuz they r pretty. Like no, women of all looks shapes and sizes get sexually harassed. It’s not just a pretty person problem and you wouldn’t be exempt from facing that problem if you were less attractive it still happens.

[@AshaA2]

@@cosmicionicc5134 I actually have had the exact same experience as this person. I live in the Midwest now where I get it the worst but I didn’t experience it as much when I lived on the east coast. The job thing was true as well. Couldn’t find a job in the field I wanted and when I finally did. I was SA and sexualized and they had a group chat filled with inappropriate photos they had taken of me around the office. Also, when I would go for certain specific jobs, they instead would push me to work in front facing roles where my clients were men even though I specifically said I didn’t want to do that anymore. Sorry you don’t believe it , I’m glad I’ve always had witnesses because my friends/partners didn’t believe it until they saw it all the time for years.

[@zein.vlad.]

@@Womanfemale12 physically attacked, Like punch me, hit me, grab my hair, need more examples? once I got attacked by a group of 5 girls, because they said, I was dressed like a w* to get men's attention. Mind you, I was 14 years old, wearing a skirt, boots, and a huge hoodie, and the girls were all over 19. Yes, at a party a guy (first time seeing him) started verbally abusing me claiming "you think you're better than everyone cause you're pretty, you're not even that good looking" it escalated so quickly that a friend had to get me out of the party.

[@zein.vlad.]

@@cosmicionicc5134 when I was unemployed I started looking for cleaning jobs (in my country they are extremely judgmental by class) they LITERALLY told me, you're to pretty but this types of jobs, try working as a secretary or something like that (and of course those jobs required additional studies wich I didn't had) People DO say things like this. Coworkers, bosses, etc. Is not that 'I consider myself pretty so I assume is because of that' is LITERAL what people have told me. You need the Screenshots with my ex where he told me I wouldn't be a good mom cause I'm to pretty to even care for others? Or chats with my co workers when they just comment on how pretty I am, and everything must be easy with this face? You need to see the lawsuits against my ex employers? You assuming that I'm lying is just more of the same thing... Why would I want to lie about being through difficulties for being pretty... To boost my ego? Come on...

[@KanaiyaSK]

Growing up pretty, there are 3 things I have learnt so far: 1: People will ALWAYS see your looks before your personality or words, something that causes them to make delusions about you. This leads to situations where when they start experiencing your actual personality, they become disappointed that their delusions were wrong, and start treating you differently. Example, me and this guy had been talking, he had made up some sort of view of me as this beautiful pure girl, that 100% could not have been tainted by men. We came onto the subject of sexual experience, and of course he right away started blabbering about all his great experience, desperately trying to prove to me that he clearly knew about women's sexuality and what they liked. However when it was my turn to share, and I started talking about a few of my own encounters, his entire demeanor and way of speech changed. His tone turned harsher, use of words, at one point he nearly straight up insinuated I was a wh*re. 2: Similar to point one, but in a more extreme case; Some men don't even, and WILL never bother to see your personality. All they see you as is some sort of beautiful artifact or an exotic bird, that must be collected. They will make no effort to have proper conversation with you/get to know you on a deeper level, but as soon as you post a picture or buy a new top, they are the first to notice and shower you in superficial, almost worship-like compliments. These men want nothing more than to have a piece of you, so they can satisfy and boost their egos. They see your beauty as a prize they need to win, but that is sadly all there is to it. Once said prize is won, you have no more real value to them. They don't see you as a human being. Like an expensive sports car, they parade it around town and show off to feel good, but park it in the garage upon coming home. 3: Most other women, do not want to see you win. I have very few friends i consider truly real and close, I have a lot of acquaintances, but not ones that would revel in my success. I have experienced all different kinds of shit talk, from girls I saw as my absolute best friends, backstabbing me and spreading rumors behind my back, to girls I don't even know the name of and haven't even MET, talking shit about me and making up lies, for no other reason than jealousy. Just recently, a girl whom I considered to be one of my closest friends, just nonchalantly told me mid convo "I actually hated you, like actually LOATHED you the first time we met. I argued with my ex at that party because he kept looking at you, and I literally felt like stabbing you lol", then after saying this she laughed as if she'd just told me about a funny thing she saw on tiktok. I've never been so aghast.

[@alexia964]

these problems are not really exclusive to being attractive though. Ugly women don’t get seen for their personality, they get judged upfront based on their looks. Women in general are judged based on looks rather than character, a sad yet real truth

[@SheisGraceful]

Keep your head up my friend… You’re not alone.

[@deborahundergrace2776]

A former friend of mine asked me if I had had any real friends ever.😔😔 she claimed that everyone wanted to fuck me both guys and girls. It truly is sad .

[@essies4294]

It’s very annoying for work.

[@inajai6422]

This is all so true. It's weird how men expect you to be perfect at all times in every way possible. It's so dehumanizing. You're just not allowed to be flawed like every other person or they lose interest in you. I stay away from those guys when it's obvious how they see me. Or when I notice they are starting to put me on a pedestal, I stop them right away and remind them that I'm not perfect and never will be.

[@christiancung]

Moral of the story and life is that everyone struggles, be it attractive looking or unattractive looking people. So be respectful, kind, nonjudgmental, and love others as you love yourself.

[@ingeniousgoldie]

You nailed this summary.

[@rosie6]

@JoshyHush start now. Try hard. ❤

[@Mayousse]

Best comment I've seen so far. You'll live longer too. 🌷

[@youdonotknowwhoiamlol]

yup, agree!❤

[@goodmorning12376]

This❤

[@edwardgregorio9754]

The part when Malena was beaten filled me with anger, not only she was constantly being accused bc of her beauty by the women in the town but also the men preyed on her an treated her like garbage after that. It's a shame that we don't see to much of Malena's point of view, but I'm sure that her sadness is enormous.

[@charminglove8594]

Being pretty really is a privilege and a curse. You don’t have a lot friends. I always wanted to have a group of girlfriends to hang out with but my experience with female drama is too much. Men’s true intentions are never clear. They only like the ideal of you. Not your personality. it’s really not what you expect. And I can’t talk about this in real life because you might come off as conceited it’s like a silent struggle. 😔

[@tcrijwanachoudhury]

This is exactly what I'm experiencing now, sending hugs ♡

[@seabreeze4559]

projecting of anima, men see the ideal women on a pedestal not the real woman before them

[@stripedpolkadots8692]

Fuck coming off as anything, if people don’t geniunely at least try to listen to you because of their own bs preconceived notions then they’re stupid and insecure and that’s their problem. But, I understand what you mean, idk you and im a stranger but know that at least I and like 123 other ppl take you seriously : )

[@stephaniepierre11]

Ikr!! I just stay to myself :/

[@stephaniepierre11]

not always like that; some of us just can’t seem to find girl friends if you’ve never experienced this then it’s easy to just brush that off

[@sharpeyevans3591]

I think an aspect to pretty privilege that often isn't talking about is how it can actually lead to receiving more racism and racial comments for women of colour. For example, I'm a black female that's considered very beautiful however I don't have stereotypically 'black features'. I have flat lips a very high and straight nose bridge and a skinny body with narrow hips. This has led to comments such as " I've never seen someone so beautiful, especially a black girl" and "you look elegant for a black girl" etc. I'm sure women of every race can relate to this and receiving backhanded compliments. I find it so fascinating how being attractive can lead to even more racist comments, you'd think it would be the opposite.

[@jamiehershon]

I agree. A hot black woman is going to get treated better than say a plump, white woman.

[@Alicia-lo7ny]

Most African Americans have European blood from slavery. Your features likely come from this and you are mixed race as a result. Do a dna test and get back to us.

[@periwinkle8689]

@@jamiehershon what?? lol

[@goldenhourss]

SO TRUE i’m asian and i can’t remember how many times they said omg u’re so pretty for an asian as if it wasn’t a goddamn insult

[@audri6829]

Thank you for pointing this out. This usually isn’t brought up with pretty privilege discourse. As an Asian women I’ve gotten cat called as “ling ling” or attract many weird guys with Asian fetish. It’s disgusting. My Mexican friend gets called “spicy” all the time… WOC are hyper sexualized but also demonized for this.. very dehumanizing

[@nothanks1239]

I've been on both sides of the spectrum. I was hideous when I hit puberty, but blossomed when I reached 21. I was bullied by boys as a teenager, for not being attractive enough. By 21, girls were bullying me and my friend (who was 10x more beautiful than me). We had our skirts pulled up by girls. She had a girl follow her into a bathroom and punched her for no reason. I realised that I was miserable being ugly, but also miserable standing out. Today I'm 35 and just look your average mum, so no longer have issues from anyone. It's probably the least anxious period of my life, because I don't feel like I need to worry about how anyone treats me. And that's quite sad, because nobody deserves to be mistreated for their appearance, whether ugly or beautiful.

[@AnotherSkyTV]

Can relate. I'm beautiful, but my health is poor and sometimes that leads to skin problems (eczema). When I had rashes people were mean because I was ugly/sick. When I got my eczema under control and look normal people are mean because I'm attractive. So yeah. You can never please people, waste of time...

[@nothanks1239]

@@AnotherSkyTV So sorry to hear that. There really is no reason for people to be horrible. It takes nothing to keep themselves quiet. Also, sorry to hear about your ill health. I hope that you will recover, or stable one day.

[@loladee5338]

Even pretty girls get bullied from boys and girls everyone gets bullied

[@catherinebirch2399]

I hope the girl that punched your friend gets a good slice of karma. She deserves it. Also the boys who tormented you.

[@emiliawilson4378]

May I please ask where you're from? What kind of horrible girls would do this????

[@tobealady.4490]

Being beautiful is one thing. Being beautiful with sex appeal this is what radiants your beauty throughout the room. This is why some pretty women are prone to jealousy and other pretty women are not. The key ingredients is Sex Appeal. You cannot buy sex appeal, you either have it or you don’t.

[@LisaF777]

100% you've hit it nail on the head!

[@lolololololollol4793]

so are you saying pretty women without sex appeal are the jealous ones or the opposite?

[@tobealady.4490]

@@lolololololollol4793 I’m not saying either or, I’m just stating the reality of beauty and sex appeal.

[@seabreeze4559]

charisma v magnetism

[@tula1433]

Fantastic comment. Sex appeal has really been disparaged but I think it’s a beautiful and natural thing. Was glad that this video didn’t go down the “man hating modern feminist” route.

[@barneypaodoce]

I love how gentle this video is. It feels like a deep breath in a very long time.

[@luvusm111]

this describes it so well

[@starr2870]

@@luvusm111 right it was such a comfortable video yk

[@luvusm111]

@@starr2870 FRR it was like a cup of tea or a warm blanket in a way lol

[@canny1485]

It hurts to be pretty as much as it hurts to be ugly! When pretty and ugly are just something the society creates, projects, objects and destroy!

[@halanuman]

“Something the society creates, projects, objects and destroys”. A word from you! Summed it up perfectly.

[@canny1485]

@@halanuman yes, i wrote it while listening to your beautiful video, good luck ❤️💕💖💋

[@stripedpolkadots8692]

@its really complicated being nice to straight men i feel it’s similar to female beauty objectification but perhaps taken somewhat less seriously because they’re men? (And i say somewhat bc it seems not many ppl take problems w being a pretty woman seriously already)

[@joyandpeacefullaughter5307]

The pain of being ugly is worse.

[@lelelew2735]

@@joyandpeacefullaughter5307 true you can get turned down from jobs for being ugly.

[@luvusm111]

the miss usa one shocked me how she can be the most beautiful in the "universe" and still hopeless and alone in the inside I hope she rests easy and is at peace now

[@amorelockster1023]

It’s so sad and it’s disgusting how I saw so many comments of men using her death as a “see women beauty isn’t everything she was a independent modern woman a man would’ve made her happy” ugh I hope her soul rest in peace

this is exactly part of the problem... people are shocked she was unwell, because she was pretty? why was that shocking? beautiful people can't be hopeless and alone on the inside? And I know that you don't mean this comment it in a bad way, but unconsciously you carry on how society views beauty.

[@catmerchant8699]

@ beauty is determined on how you perceive yourself and not everyone gets that. People just think every beautiful person knows they’re beautiful, so they should just be grateful and not worry about other things right, because so many people want to be like them !? It doesn’t mean anything, a face is a face, and if a beautiful person doesn’t believe they’re beautiful then it won’t help anything they feel on the inside.

​@@catmerchant8699 right... I know more insecure conventionally beautiful people, than normal looking... being conventionally beautiful is really really so deep psychological and society issue, but I feel like most people take it very superficially and won't stop to think about it more deeply, what it can mean for the person.... and most people refuse to see the other (negative) side of it too. it is true that most gorgeous girls died of tragic lonely death, and nobody stops to ask why... to society beauty is not only black and white, but only white (meaning positive) and not open for discussion, and that is the problem in my eyes.

@@gabrieljimenez3461 because those things mean nothing, if you don't have anyone to share it with. and most guys won't go for the prettiest girls, and those that usually do, view them just as "pretty thing" that they can flex on everyone as a status thing, or to be added to their collection. and while there are women that are okay with that, there are also ones that would like a genuine nice basic relationship with normal and kind guy, that loves them for them. most gorgeous girls in history die tragically and alone, ever thought about why?

[@PaperMario64]

Great analysis. My sister is a Malena and she used/uses self deprecation to make other women feel comfortable around her. It’s sad but that’s how she survives having women hate her because of how beautiful she is.

[@halanuman]

Thank you for the compliment. That’s really sad to hear. I wish your sister peace and friends who appreciate her for who she truly is.

[@nininizzlebaby2333]

This video really made me cry. My mom was known in her youth for her EXTREME beauty. She’s always told me that being beautiful caused her so much misery. I saw a small glimpse of what she means. 😢❤ I don’t consider myself even a SMALL fraction of her beauty. But I am extremely lonely because my friends always turn on me due to jealousy. Also a lot of men don’t see past my beauty to see me for the wonderful person that I am. Now I’m in my early 30s friendless, manless, and lonely. But I am on this journey of self-love now and I know I’m going to be okay even if alone. 😢

[@priscillahernandez8193]

You are strong, friend, you can push through 💗

[@kgmkr800]

You got this! Self love is important! & Yeah, a majority of humans are so basic.

[@ClarenRopa-ed6bt]

Hey, Jesus will never leave you ❤😊

[@SawakoKuronuma77]

I never experienced pretty privilege until recently when I had a glow up. I was never the prettiest girl in school or college and I didn’t pay any attention either on how I looked. Then after college my facial features started developing and my body got into shape. Till then everyone talked to me saw me for who I am. Then it all changed. I feel like most of the people wanna be friends with me coz they find me pretty. Even when I try to have deep conversations most of them don’t take me seriously coz they don’t expect me to have a deep side. There was this girl at my office who wanted to be friends with me just for my looks. She used to be somewhat obsessed with me and always used to talk about how cute I look. I eventually had to cut her off because she never tried to know the real me. People always expect me to have an attitude and when they see that I am very sweet and compassionate it confuse them. Also there are guys who take advantage of my sweet nature and try to get close to me so that they can flex around their friends. It puts pressure on me and I end up taking extra care on how I look since I feel like if I don’t look good enough they would be disappointed. I am slowly learning to love myself and not letting people affect my self worth.

[@starr2870]

its weird cuz as an 18 year old i start to get out of my shell more, a lot of girls actually see me as a pretty person, like so random but a girl randomly approached me to compliment my outfit and say that i was pretty. What i got confused is how girls were always the one complimenting me, approaching me but i had not one guy say things like that except my only guy friend that i have lol who seemingly loves to compliment me but i rarely been catcalled either so it puts me into a identity crisis lol

[@SawakoKuronuma77]

@@starr2870 Are you surrounded mostly by guys of your age ? It might be because of that. I think guys who are of that age are intimidated by pretty girls.

[@starr2870]

@@SawakoKuronuma77 i think so?? i mean when i go to my classes i dont have many guys in my class lol but i always notice people staring at me and it gives me such anxiety like if people looking at me cuz of something but idk like I'm so socially awkward with guys but my friends keep saying that its because they're intimidated to even go up, even one of them said she assumed i was dating someone cuz of how pretty i was (not to sound like a show off) but it has me deeply thinking lol

[@SawakoKuronuma77]

@@starr2870 I am also socially awkward and I am working on it. 😅 Where are you from btw ?

[@starr2870]

@@SawakoKuronuma77 im from uk, im british but south asian

[@imnashadi5254]

It's not just women, but also men who can't have you. They just goes way far to make sure you look bad infront of others. Men who can't take rejection is equally toxic as jealous women.

[@notaverage1247]

An aspect of pretty privilege that is often overlooked (and I relate to quite too well) is having a perfect body. Yes, face is typically what we perceive as beautiful but many women have average faces and banging bodies and suffer for it. As a curvy black girl I’ve had non-black women give me dirty looks and accuse me of trying to be seductive since I was younger than 13…just for having a big butt and small waist that I tried to hard to hide. When your body is attractive people subject you to a sexual object only! Men feel entitled to you sexually or “you’re a hoe” and women see you as a threat in random environments like the grocery store where the last thing you’re thinking about is stealing someone’s man. It’s a gift and a curse!!!

[@brittanys505]

It's crazy you had to go through that. I agree men feel entitled too. Some comments were mentioning how a lot of guys like to seek out virgins just to take the 🍪away but if we start acting less pure it's still the same shit, they start degrading women & not taking her serious so we can't win. I could literally call myself a slut and there's gonna be some random ass dude who thinks it's an invite.

[@tessy28]

Yes exactly. I have a nice body and omg it's exactly the same thing. I use to get death stares coming into work wearing skirt and top. Thank God I work from home now

[@notaverage1247]

@@tessy28 it’s so annoying cause you could be dressed homeless and your shape will still warrant stares.

[@shaunnarochelle]

that's so sad. as a skinny girl with absolutely no butt whenever I see with a lovely curvy figure I am just like damnnnm.... but it's all appreciate no hate

[@NightingaleFlorine]

@@shaunnarochelle same.. i am not skinny but more so average size with minimal curves.. so envious to see curvy girls. Hate that people’s envy are so evil

[@gwynn2165]

I don’t think I’m very beautiful, but I realized how different people would treat me once I got out of a gawky stage. I learned how to enhance my features and suddenly people stopped liking me or saw me as a threat. People started to be mean to me, or treat me as if I was ditzy and then started to make jokes about my looks. It’s crazy that the moment I became more conventionally attractive was when I became the most lonely and insecure.

[@Womanfemale12]

Welcome to the club. I'm not that insecure but people are either extremely nice most of the times or they just treat you like you're nothing. What did you go through for example?

[@gwynn2165]

@@Womanfemale12 I had a lot of friends who started to talk behind my back about how much I had changed and how I wasn’t recognizable when all I did was find a style that suited me. I also started seeing guys either be incredibly rude or call me basic when they didn’t know my personality or they would be incredibly kind and once they realized I didn’t like them romantically they would be distant and cold, or flat out rude. I also realized that the same traits I had my entire life were perceived with a different light. If I was acting a little goofy or was just kind of forgetful, it was seen as being funny or charismatic when now I would be ditzy, annoying and dumb. Or when I would go for something that was unlikely at least I was aiming high or talking a risk, but now I’m careless or cocky to think it was in my skill set.

[@Womanfemale12]

@@gwynn2165 One thing I noticed on my side is how much people like the perfection of me. Before we even get to know each other they call me nice and every other positive adjective. But they also don't like when I talk to much men especially but women too. Like "be pretty but be quiet". Have you also notice how women stare at you? Either they are extremely nice or they can't stand you and I'm talking about total strangers. Men the same. Oh yes and men only want one thing from me too or for the rarest part marry me but we just met so I say no. And when I'm not interested in a man for that they get cold I had other reactions too dangerous reactions. You gotta be super careful. We gotta be super careful. But the thing is I never know before going into a shop , meeting a new stranger how they are going to be. Nice or extremely cold and passive aggre&ssive . You never know.

[@Munmunbey]

You’re not alone dear ❤ I face this everyday ❤

[@NatTy1999_]

I was bullied so terribly I feel like in highschool by other girls, and even out of college or in my church, when I simply was minding my own , all I wanted sometimes was a girl group and it took me a while to find a trustworthy one. The pain of other women tearing you down, and men wanting to gain a status by simply being with you was inexplicable.

[@Womanfemale12]

Yup. Stay with God sister. Only him truly loves you. Believe in him and don't ever look back.

[@solimine1007]

The worst part of being beautiful is men don't see you as anything more than that. They don't wish to love you for who you are. They just want to sleep with you.

[@Womanfemale12]

Indeed

[@truth-uncensored2426]

As a man I can affirm that this is not true at all, you're confusing being beautiful with being a sexy thot that uses provocative clothes.

[@BlacKWidoW70s]

Jealousy, people just assuming you’re a stuck up, people assuming you already know you’re beautiful, both men and women getting intimidated by you without getting to know you, men trying to make you feel insecure just to so you think “you’re not all that”, women doing the same specially at workplace, competition from other women you never asked for, the struggle of making female friends, people not taking you seriously at work specially if you look younger than you’re age +beautiful, fuckboys, quality men rarely approach you …. the list goes the fuck on …

[@Womanfemale12]

Oh men don't approach me at all. 😂

[@missstranger7697]

What if men had the handsome privilege and had other men get intimidated by them and women going crazy over them?😂

[@Katinahat293]

Former ugly duckling🙋‍♀️ I’ve been overweight and was a late bloomer, puberty hit me like a truck. Being pretty can bring pain, but not as much pain as being ugly/overweight. The way people think of you and treat you every day is vastly different. Work, school, parking lot literally everywhere people look at you and respond differently to anything I say versus when I was overweight. Even after weight loss I delivered groceries curbside to peoples cars and wearing makeup that day determined how people, especially men treated and responded to me.

[@GooglyMoogly68]

Noticed the same change, when I started taking better care of myself, and with the help of puberty, I’ve noticed a decent amount of change in how people treat me, and it kind’ve angers me, because when I looked like Shrek i was treated like shit. I can only imagine how tough it would be for someone with the looks caliper of Megan fox, brad pitt, or malena.

[@yumtaco7376]

Personally my experience was that I was treated much differently when I was skinnier. I was being stared harshly which made me feel unsafe most of the time. My mistakes weren’t forgiven, and I had a tough time making friendships. After gaining weight I feel a lot more safer going out since no one is staring anymore. I am able to have friends and communicate much easier without being misunderstood. I am now viewed as a person who is learning rather than an already experienced person. Really weird, but I like my life better now that I have gained more weight

[@Veeravaara]

Exactly. The jealousy is not rooted in insecurity, it's rooted in reality. It's much worse being seen as an undesirable woman in our society, we acknowledge that plus people have an innate desire to have an equal society. Sticking out and being better than others in an aspect doesn't promote an equal and stable society, that's why so many cultures, probably every culture back in the day, have strict rules about being modest and downplaying your own success. This kind of jealousy is quite unavoidable, I think

[@neshwhat702]

Ngl i do get jealous of pretty women when they get too much attention. Jealousy is natural and i am not afraid to admit it. But the only difference is i try to control my behaviour and not try to be rude and spread rumours about them. This is the only thing i can control. Over the years you get to learn that there are every type of beauty and each person has a type! So you learn to appreciate it.

[@cm0703]

Madison Beer is also a very good, recent example of this. I felt extremely bad for her as social media ripped into her just cause she is pretty. They blamed her for their insecurities.

[@rosie6]

OMG yes!!! Literally people write under her insta posts “I’m not eating bc of this

[@BratzRockAngels]

Right.

[@star-miubin]

Which sucks. I kinda liked her because of K/DA since I liked her voice and it was so weird seeing people act like that towards her.

[@wattpadjunkie1133]

She has artificial plastic surgery beauty though lol

[@anacarl5035]

pretty women are also hated/distrusted by men. my ex was incredibly controlling and insecure because he believed that i had access to whoever i wanted and would pursue it no matter how many times i proved to him that i was not that kind of person. it was awful. i hope this isn’t a reoccurring theme in my life that prevents me from finding love :(

[@aditacruz75]

My first relationship was at 19 with a man who was 34, and he abused me and mistreat me, and he put me down all the time, and it was because he thought that abusing me was the best way to control me because I was too beautiful

[@romanovilla]

romantic love is that important? Better improve yourself. Just give it a time and worry more about your hobbies, career and studies, I think.

[@anacarl5035]

@@romanovilla it’s certainly not my paramount desire but it’s nice to have. self-love has been and will continue to be my ultimate goal

[@eboli7146]

Really balanced and thoughtful analysis on a topic that is tricky to bring up because it sounds like a weird or false "problem" to have. I am mixed race, tall, busty, and have beautiful "exotic" features. It's an enjoyable thing to be pretty but as you say there are real downsides. I have been single for 10 years; I find men are sort of spellbound by my looks, it makes it very hard to get to know someone for real. The ones who are brave enough tend to be arrogant jerks. The nice guys tend to be way too intimidated. I've had quite a few guys become very jealous or insecure by the attention I get, either becoming very possessive or just ending things abruptly because they don't feel "good enough" - and they seem surprised to see that this hurts me very deeply, as if being beautiful should mean I never feel sad or hurt or rejected. Also, people tend to make a lot of judgements about my personality - a few friends and colleagues told me when they got to know me, they were surprised to realise I am down to earth, smart and kind of goofy- it doesn't really make sense does it? I like the way I am and wouldn't change anything but it is a unique flipside that most people don't understand because they covet beauty so much.

[@stephaniepierre11]

yep you worded this perfectly

[@SawakoKuronuma77]

I pray you find love 💗

[@drewm6119]

Girl, this! No one talks about how the guys you want can get freaked out. I had a great date one time with a guy and the day after he called me and said "I thought you were a catfish and I didn't actually think you'd be real, sorry but you intimidate me too much, I just can't see you again" and I know it sounds dumb but I cried about it. It's not a problem you feel you can say out loud.

[@tessy28]

@@drewm6119 That's so miserable. I'm sorry

[@Sabrina-tv3gl]

Very good exposé. Malena is one of my favourite movies, and I believe that Monica Bellucci is a timeless beauty, and we often forget that she is actually a talented actress. I really appreciated the time you spent elaborating on female jealousy. Female jealousy is a plague. I personally do not believe in female solidarity, I think it's a bunch of malarky. Women, when in groups, often look for uglier people to associate with and stand out. When a beautiful woman has no group of friends, it's because she can't bear the consequences of jealousy.

[@halanuman]

That’s kind. Thank you for watching! I believe that female solidarity absolutely exists. It is something that I have in my own life and it’s how, throughout much of history, nations have been built - it is through kinship among women as the central point for child rearing and relationship-building etc. Jealousy is also a poignant reality we all face - whether on the receiving end or the giving end. Jealousy is a malady of the heart and can only be remedied through spiritual practice (read: ascending past the ego). The reality is that beauty becomes so blinding that it can ostracize the beautiful to the point of deep depressive episodes that sometimes cause the end of one’s life by *self-ending*. Beauty has many benefits in society, but every light side has a dark side.

[@tcrijwanachoudhury]

I wont sound humble saying this but I have been called beautiful, and I cant seem to keep many friends- pretty or not, we just drift apart. Though I have noticed the friends who are more homely tend to "play rough" more, belittling jokes, condescending remarks, having a general aura of contempt when they're talking to me. I overthink things come to the general conclusion they dont really like me, so I tend to drift away. Usually the more conventionally good looking ones are at the very least nice, I have a handful of girlfriends i have known for years, but I haven't been able to make new friends since hs. I notice there are a lot of conventionally attractive women who seem to not have friends and have very similar stories

[@seabreeze4559]

envy or avarice are destructive

[@seabreeze4559]

@@tcrijwanachoudhury called attractiveness isolation, I used to wonder why I had trouble making female friends but over time noticed the sabotage, like one refused to take a photo of me from a certain (natural) angle because I "looked too good". She wasn't even in the photo, so I have almost no pictures of myself. Men wanted to try and force more than friendly feelings or their new GF/wife forced him to drop me as a threat.

[@Sabrina-tv3gl]

@@tcrijwanachoudhury I thought I was reading myself. That is my situation exactly. I don't wanna sound pathetic, and pretentious, but being beautiful, smart, and confident is like having leprosy. I can't sustain female friendships, and if I happen to get along with a woman, it's because we don't hang together on a daily basis, but rather see each other occasionally. I tried to maintain friendships with other women whom I truly liked, but there is always an event or a sudden situation that shift the energy. I am often alone. It's not just beauty, if you are not a follower, and if you are strong willed well forget about it, that's the recipe for disaster. By disaster, I mean loneliness. I guess that's life, no one is special, and we all struggle.

[@PlanetDallas]

Being pretty is definitely a blessing and a curse. You can get whatever man you want but majority just want to sleep with you. Then most are too insecure to stay in a relationship with you or accuse you of cheating. I hate saying this but all the less attractive girls I went to school with are all married and all the really attractive girls women now are alone and wanting marriage. I have men follow me home. Wait for me outside the store. Not having a lot of female friends because they are jealous of you. It’s hard 😢

[@Womanfemale12]

Welcome to the club. I have only been followed one time though Wich was more than enough

[@MsLolaTaylor]

Phew 💯😪

[@LisaLee123]

Literally me

[@n09p]

I was an “ugly duckling” growing up and I didn’t peak in high school. Not until college did I grow into my features. Growing up I was always told I’m pretty and cute. When I turned 21 it’s “you’re gorgeous, hot, sexy” to the point where I’m so use to it, it doesn’t even phase me anymore (it’s just ehhh). However, when I turned 25, I came out of my shell abit more. I use to dress a bit more conservatively before and now I have more of a “figure” that no one knew about. All hell broke loose around my friend group. I have never seen people who I thought I was chill with have such hatred for me (mainly the females). When nothing else changed about me other than becoming a bit more wiser to my surroundings. I wasn’t dressing like a whore, I was dressed head to toe just a bit more form fitting (when I wore a bikini - which the other girls were wearing the same - I thought they honestly wanted to murder me… if the side eye could kill…) I started hitting the gym and my body became more toned and I couldn’t believe how much nastier the behavior got. It started as gossiping about me, then spreading rumors, now it’s a full on smear campaign to isolate me from my friends and family - my cousin started it all btw. When I asked what I did wrong… no answer. I’ve been told it’s jealousy but that’s not a good enough excuse for me. That’s the dumbest reason I’ve ever heard. Just baffles my mind how 22-40year old women are acting like 14 year girls. I never once spoke ill about any of them or saw them as competition or had any jealousy towards them. Until drama started I had to defend myself and they all hated me even more for it because I had always let them walk all over me. But I was always a person big on character. I don’t care for your material wealth or your degrees. Can you bring kindness and understanding to the table? Can you keep a conversation? Are you willing to listen to what other people have to say? Do you like history and religion? Do you like to travel? What books do you like to read? Are you a judgement person? Are you articulate? None of these things seemed to matter to them and because it did to me I was casted out as the weird one. That was their reasoning. When their one dimensional brains can’t even comprehend topics other than gossiping. For people with degrees they sure lack common sense. But it is what it is. When I became “beautiful” to the world, it only isolated me and made me not trust others because they just ended up hurting me out of jealousy - I became bitter from this experience and held such a grudge from trauma of it all but I’m learning to find myself again because I was never like that to begin with and I hated the feeling of anger and frustration of trying to understand where I went wrong. I fell into a depression because I couldn’t understand why others didn’t like me when I never went against them. But it’s a hard realization to accept that there are some really cruel and twisted minds that walk along side us. And it does still bother me from time to time but I’m learning to work past it and not let others effect my outlook on life.

[@roccafille]

Very relatable. I have a very pretty friend but she had a terribly rough childhood with abuse of all sorts.. Yet so many people only comment on her beauty not acknowledging that she is more then her looks. I also remember being younger feeling very ugly or weird because people would just stair but i just thought something was wrong with me. Constant harassment by men. When i was in my early twenties I started to gain a lot of weight after yet another attempted SA that my workplace denyied that could happen. I didn't understand why I couldn't stop eating and drinking but now so many years later I knew that happend as a form of self preservation. Now im a bit older, don't stand out as much as previously. Same goes for my good friend although she is still undeniably beautiful. But it has definitely brought some peace. My heart goes out to anybody on which ever side of the coin who is struggling. Let us all threat eachother how we want to be treated. Much ❤️ to all of you. Great video essay!!

[@chaoswitch1974]

You're the first person I've seen talk about this. I've noticed when I get into shape I get sexually harassed and assaulted, and after some bad experiences, I just started gaining weight and destroying my body so I would stop being objectified. I'm honestly tired. I can't even take care of myself without men being pigs and women thinking I want their dingy men.

[@rainbowswirlingislandgirl9631]

I've seen situations similar to this play out, which is why it really annoys me when women try to act like there isn't a lot of jealousy and envy directed at beautiful women

[@moonwaves359]

For those who are more spiritually oriented, i have a theory that many beautiful women may be emotionally unstable because they're targed by so much evil eye on daily basis - which, if you don't protect your aura - can mess with you mental state really hard. Brigitte Bardot is great example of that - women were spitting on her images and she was at some point one of the most discussed topics in French households and well, she was suicidal...

[@halanuman]

Yes and the same goes for exceptionally talented people (there are other contributing factors but this is one)

[@BlueVO22]

Yes.

[@Natacha1111]

Yup. I do magick with the help of spirits to protect me and guess what, people respect me. However, if I forget or go a long time without my magick there is definitely the jealousy kicking in. Better stay in your magick 😇

[@majaricarda]

The most beautiful women often experience to be an outsider without any good friends. It's sad because it keeps their self esteem low and promotes depression. Believing that there is something wrong with their personality or that they are bad people...

[@Goddess_Infinity]

This !!!!! I’ve said this exact words

[@kio6460]

you talking about cheslie's suicide made me recount a lot of comments made about beautiful women commiting suicide. There will always be one comment, if not many, saying, "What a shame, she was so beautiful". Most of them come from women too. We always blame men for reducing women to only their beauty, without realising we do it too. We always think that pretty women have a lot of privileges, and although they do, they have their downsides as well, and a lot of women contribute to that despair pretty women feel about being reduced to their beauty

[@elliegoulding744]

It's so true no one cares about "beautiful" people's mental health even after they die. When I saw your comment I remembered the news about the Miss USA that commited sui**** this year. So sad. People think that being beautiful can save you from feeling miserable, or having low self-esteem. Pain is pain and no amount of beauty can save one from it.

[@catherinebirch2399]

I hate when people say " such a shame, she was so beautiful, or pretty, such a waste" Does that mean that if she wasn't so attractive her life wouldn't have had any value?

[@Exsugarbabe1]

@@catherinebirch2399 Every good murder victim is a beautiful woman, podcasts waffle on about it so much you could believe only pretty women get slaughtered, better off ugly then really!

[@genesis7z]

I agree that this video should go viral. I think many women want to be so pretty and crave that attention they imagine a conventionally "beautiful" woman gets, not knowing or understanding the pain that comes with it... It is really hard to imagine unless you experience it

[@kayyeti3422]

The worst thing about being exceptionally beautiful is how isolating it is. Either people think that you believe you're better than them or they can't see beyond you're beautiful face. It's horrible.

[@ayla8345]

Honestly from my experience exceptionally beautiful people do have a pretty big ego which can make them unlikable. Pretty people KNOW they’re pretty, they’re not stupid. They can see the feedback they get and when everyone treats you better than less attractive people and makes you feel special for being pretty (which is usually just good genetics, not something you’ve worked for), then you’ll eventually develop a huge ego. People treat you better, respect your more, want you more, etc. you have privileges that others simply don’t have. So yes, often times they can be arrogant.

[@GirlScoutCookies420]

Agreed. And then people are trying to “teach you a lesson” and put you down even though you never thought you were better than anyone. Sometimes they don’t even treat you like a human being cause they assume you’ve had it easier when they judgmental person probably has had it easier.

[@diamondastar8734]

Who cares ❤

[@GirlScoutCookies420]

@@diamondastar8734 What do you mean by “who cares”? You also commented on other threads talking about your own personal cons with “pretty privilege” as well?

[@diamondastar8734]

@@GirlScoutCookies420 with “who cares” I mean, you shouldn’t care what people say to you, think about you, or when they try to isolate you. They are envious, jealous, and toxic. Why even bother caring what these monsters think? They aren’t worth the energy and time.

[@Shy-xm4kn]

You don’t even have to be beautiful for other women to treat you badly. I work in the customer service industry and if a woman comes in with a man as a couple I only make eye contact with the woman. I’ve had so many instances of women treating me poorly out of nowhere for speaking to the man or handing the man something I’m scared to do so now.

[@feliznavidad6958]

That's super insecurity and super pickme. Those relationships don't have a leg to stand on

[@MsLolaTaylor]

​@@feliznavidad6958💯

[@dontmindme3852]

Being beautiful is a double edged sword. My body is simply a vessel for me to live in and I always have to worry about sending the wrong signals for simply wanting to live life in this vessel.

[@tattianasalles3019]

For people who like vedic astrology there is a fun fact: Angelina Jolie, Monica Bellucci and Marilyn Monroe have the sign of cancer (sideral) very strong in their charts. Angelina has Venus in Cancer (Pushya), Monica has Moon and Mars in Cancer (Pushya) and Marilyn has Cancer ascendant (Ashlesha). Besides the cancerian energy, they have very powerfull planets in their lagna/1st house/ascendant: Angelina has Saturn in the 1st house, Marilyn has Neptune in the 1st house, Monica has Ketu in the 1st house. Cancer is a very feminine sign because it represents the Moon's energy. Moon is the Queen, the mother. An energy of a woman, not a girlie like Venus. Cancer is also shy and emotional. It is a sign of people who are very attached to their family and children. The presence of stong planets in the 1st house also adds an extra allure to these women. Marilyn has the Neptune's fascination, Angelina has Saturn's strong presence and Monica has the mysterious and smoky aura of Ketu.

[@mari-hs3ei]

This video is so good it deserves wayyyyy more attention!!!!

[@halanuman]

Y’all are the best! Thank you Mari 🫶🏼

[@flavs9548]

Monica is the kind of woman that has her own gravitational pull not only because she was outrageously beautiful but because of the way she talks and carries herself. Definition of sex appeal and class.

[@MariaJoseRangelUwU]

I understand this. People are unable to believe something bad could ever happen to you if you’re beautiful, you can’t feel anything bad, people don’t do bad things to beautiful women… until it happens. “It’s ridiculous you feel bad, you’re beautiful” it’s a phrase many times said to me in very different ways. No one cares because you’re beautiful, so your pain can’t be real… until you’re gone and then you’re still not a human being but a symbol.

[@PersephonetheReplier]

To be fair, no one cares if you’re not beautiful either. And generally far more resources and public attention are given to cases where “bad things” happened to beautiful people. That’s why almost all the murder cases you know of that have been solved involve attractive victims. There are many, many unsolved cases but the majority of them are people who don’t meet typical Western beauty standards.

[@wonyo8382]

no matter how much yall victimize pretty women it will never be worse than being an ugly woman. people treat them the way they see them, if they find them ugly they'll treat them worse than if they find them pretty. including bullying them, excluding them, publicly shaming them, making "jokes" to make fun of them, etc and it's never talked about

[@Womanfemale12]

True I've been on both sides

[@a.dgirlstar4721]

I think both sides should be victimized. While “ugly” woman can be treated worse, misogyny plays a role on both sides. Men have the power in both situations so their both in an outside perspective really wrong and horrible

[@ignacio2112]

Everyone is a victim, don't try to reduce their pain just cuz u feel inferior

[@SanFranDentist94301]

Try being the Anne of Green Gables type. Kelis, Jazmine Sullivan. Polarizing. I've literally had people pick apart my pros and cons like they're debating rapper's in the Barber shop. Lemme tell you one person's wide eyed beauty is another's bug eyed freak. I have my own fairly high opinion of myself. But, I think highly of most people untill they show me otherwise.

[@jhopiestexoest3311]

never talked about? in which world do you live, darling???

[@beelauren7711]

As one of the most beautiful women in the world, Monica was perfectly cast in this role. And she played it not just as an actress, but as a human being who must surely have experienced the very same realities portrayed...albeit not to that extreme. But that is probably only because of the protection of money and fame. I am sure there are girls and women from small nondescript towns all over the world...going through exactly what Malena did. Sadly, real life is no movie. And there is no director to yell "Cut!" When other people make their lives a living hell...just because they too were not born extraordinarily beautiful. Beauty, is truly a doubler edged sword. Those who don't possess it, have no idea how hard it can be.

[@ana-nim]

Yeah, I thought the same. Monica said in some interview that girls in her school were very mean to her because she was different from them, she was beaten up in the school toilet and bullied and girls blamed her for her beauty.

[@NekoAnjiru]

Can confirm your statement. Indeed this happens in third world countries.

[@shmeepness1700]

@@ana-nim which interview is that?

[@kingjulienfeetenthusiast]

I was an "ugly" person back then until i decided to work on my appearance (working out, doing skin care, getting a haircut etc.) At first i LOVED the attention and the special treatment until i realized some of them are intentional and its either they wanna get something from me or they wanna get between my legs. The jealousy and lustful intent was new to me and scared me the fuck outta me. If you really wanna be beautiful based on beauty standards, you also need to learn how to set boundaries, see through someone's intentions, be smart in situations and i had to learn it the hard way. I got my pictures taken without consent, followed, catcalled, backstabbed by fake friends, insulted for rejecting someone, forced to go with someone, recieving back-handed compliments, sexually harassed, getting my whole appearance and status in life picked on and judge and got called rude and a bitch for saying "no". The list goes on. People will underestimate you due to the "pretty face, dumb bitch" stereotype(i will also add demonizing women who are considered very feminine or good looking). Although it's hard, i get more opportunities as a pretty girl than i was before tbh. You just need to learn how to play with life because ugly or not, us women cannot get peace. We would always get into a cat fight with other females or had to avoid sick men that wants a quick fuck. So to all young girls out there, please other's validation doesn't matter and don't only nurture your body, but also nourish your mind, set boundaries, find your own trusted circle, don't get give your trust away easily especially from boys and "friends" you're not close with. Be aware of how dangerous an insecure woman's jealousy is and a man's anger for not having a chance w u. Be wise!

[@deren2001]

This video is so beautiful and sad at the same time. I'm of Turkish nationality and in my culture beauty is highly valued. How higher the value, the higher the price. When I was young I enjoyed my beauty, made friends easily, and of boys adoration was no lack. Later my ex husband made my life a nightmare because of his insecurities. Later when I got divorced I remember this deep hollow feeling of loneliness and rejection the most. Everyone around me was married and I could not engage in friendships with these women. I was never mistreated but I used to cry a lot and isolated myself from society because of my fear of being perceived as a threat. I'm 48 now and in a better place now. If I could do the past again I would embrace my beauty and would not care less,

[@LLShiningOtter]

Many women are horrible to beautiful women, the hatred I felt in my youth was overwhelming, I heard horrible things about myself, blessedly I have always been spiritual and that saved me. Jealousy is toxic and evil

[@AMSanchez18]

In Malena, another layer of her story is that it's viewed from a teenage boys pov, almost as if it's only valid through a male gaze

[@deborahundergrace2776]

Her redemption also came from a man

[@nafeesanaz]

They also sexualize the teenage boy. Please dont continue watching that movie.

[@truth-uncensored2426]

@@nafeesanaz 😂😂

[@christina-x7w]

Beeing beautiful is so difficult. I got fired a few times by women, cause they felt bad beeing in my presence. They are happy when you suffer and are without a job. The envy is so hard. Beauty is only an advantage when you are an actress or famous, cause there about 90% of women are very pretty. But in normal society where about 90% of the women are not gourgous, it is very difficult. I became a loner.

[@MFLimited]

Beauty = loneliness Many women seem to think that beautiful women have easier lives, when they are actively making their lives hell. They’re jealous because the beautiful women get so much more attention from men. But is it the attention anyone really wants? Is it kind? Or is that the only kind they can get when other women treat them like garbage and men see them as toys?

[@gabrielle.j]

Malèna is such a great and relatively unknown movie. Thank you for such a balanced and thoughtful analysis ❤️ Subscribed!

[@kellis9346]

I’m still very young but I unfortunately already experienced the price of pretty privilege. Ever since I was a kid. I always attracted jealousy from my female friends that I genuinely cared about. They would always be nice and smile when talking to me but gossip behind my back. The worst was with boys/men. I had several experiences with old men trying to get closer to me/hug me/do whatever they could to get my attention. Not to mention those creepy stares I get when going out. It’s so painful and scary. It’s unfair that girls have to go through this every single day just because they’re pretty and have to learn to be cautious around people since such a fragile age.

[@kayexV001]

How beautifully you have woven the words in the narration ❤

[@halanuman]

What a sweet compliment - thank you! I am a writer, so one of my fave things to do is narrate 🫶🏼

[@rosie6]

This video is impeccable. Thank you for gifting us with this!!! So underaged

[@jamiehershon]

I totally viewed the movie Malena differently. She was beautiful and had sex appeal like a commenter on here mentioned. Sex appeal imo is really what made life difficult for her not just being beautiful. She appeared to be a newly single woman since it was assumed that her husband was dead. You combine that with her beauty, the way her body looks when she dresses in fitted, contemporary clothing, going out and about alone (for the time) and smoking alone (smoking is often viewed as sexy...oral fixation as Freud would say), it's going to raise eyes. Long hair traditionally has always been viewed as sexy which is why many married Muslim and Jewish women cover up their natural hair when out in public. The women in the town appear to be older, dress matronly, wear their hair up or keep it short, I'd assume are all married (this was in Italy in 40s....very traditional Catholic families), lack sex appeal. To me at the end, people started to respect her since having a husband typically made you respectable in the community rather than as a single, stunning woman. The women were no longer threatened by her despite her still being beautiful. She became worthy of respect to women once they saw her with her husband and when they saw her wearing more modest clothing. However I do agree with you that she gained respect once she started to conform. Marilyn Monroe I look at a differently as she had a huge male and female fanbase and was in the eyes of the whole world not just in a town in Italy. When she was Norma Jean she was a pretty woman and girl next door but didn't have sex appeal. Once she totally changed her looks and image, she became both beautiful and had sex appeal. Generally speaking, I don't think women are threatened so much by women who are simply beautiful, rather it's beautiful women who have sex appeal.

[@jayash2957]

Im guy but id like to add my 2 cents I agree with you but i also think we might be moving to the opposite of what you mentioned with sex appeal Sex and beautiful woman with sex appeal are being so common these days Can go online and see it when ever That eventually women without much sex appeal or maybe that are just pretty with no sex appeal might become more Desirable But only time will tell

[@Lalaland099]

@@jayash2957 sex appeal and looking sexy aren't the same. Sex appeal is almost ethereal.

[@David-ej1ps]

@@Lalaland099 good answer... he either hasn't had the opportunity to be around people who have both beauty and sex appeal, as you said ethereal....

[@camdelg1]

you only did a summary of the plot with a touch here and there

[@essies4294]

Sexy and virginal beauties are both hated. This isn’t the thing you thought it was.

[@sharmaynedecol6366]

Thank you for taking the time to explain the deeper meaning of Malena and articulating the way you have. This was beautiful

[@shaniavincent6457]

This resonated so much with me. It’s even worst when you’re private and mysterious. The only choice people have is to make things up about you and run with it. This happens with strangers, so called friends and even family. Then there are the predatory behaviors of men. Even in my family at a very young age I was sexualized, assaulted and raped out of curiosity by my cousin who was 12, I was 8 at the time. I was called a liar, a whore, a stripper by family members. The messed up thing is that my mom went through the same thing. Her experiences were even worst off. She was also gawked at by male family members even on my father side. The only way my father believed a couple accusations is when I told him my uncles told me I looked like my mom, or I’m growing to look like my mom. One of my uncle also called me doll face and mentioned that I’m not too young anymore, that we weren’t even “direct”family members while staring at my bosom. It’s appalling. I’ve come to the point where I now understand why my father kept me home alone; that I was not allowed to have sleep overs…but even his own family he couldn’t shield me from. Now all I do is work and go home. I don’t like to party, I don’t like meeting people, I don’t like being around people. These days people lack respect for your boundaries and have the audacity to make up rumors when you cut them off for crossing your boundaries. Before I was innocent and naïve, but yet still was called a whore in the church because every boy lusted me. I started embracing that dark feminine primal energy for partying jobs but as I got home the facade will drop off. It was already too late tho people saw me that way anyways and it did more harm than good. Now I’m an introverted hermit that no one sees. I’ve heard I got fat, I’ve heard I got pregnant, I’ve heard I got married and the man got me locked up, I’ve heard so many stories. No one even asked me what happened. They rather make up things as the time goes by. Im ok now. Better live a lonely life with a VERY small circle than live a life with parasites, pedophiles, spectators and jealous women. To me, less is more applies to all aspects of life. I hope everyone on both sides of the spectrum understands what they need to do to be better individuals overall.

[@TheYazmanian]

Omg same. Introverted hermit as well. I seemed to make a lot of women hate me for no reason and this polarized response led to my social anxiety

[@wazzaaaapshawtyy2929]

I'm so so sorry for you. I'm literally crying while watching this video and reading the comments, I'm so lonely and it's sickening how I can resonate

[@MsLolaTaylor]

💯💯💯🥺

[@Mari-hb5do]

Lesson: people will always complain and point criticism on you. Be yourself. Screw them

[@alyssayoung877]

I’ve had the conversation with people before. It’s usually met with eye rolls . The objectification of beauty . It brings out feelings of lust , jealousy, admiration, insecurities, hatred. All before you even open your mouth . They have it made up in their mind . It’s like dolls . She can be anything you want her to be .it’s the person hold the doll that makes the narrative.it’s very dehumanizing at times . Friends are always astonished when go places . My mother had the same issues growing up .but yes, I’d rather be beautiful of course.

[@goldenhourss]

as an asian girl who gets fetishized this hits home.. but we as girls in general have it very hard. we get objectified in the first place and i really really hope to finally find someone who cares about ME for me, and sees that i am much more than my damn looks

[@seren4740]

I happened to commit the crime of being too beautiful, too intelligent and too polite. People of all ages have always hated and isolated me. Both men and women, no distinctions there. Boys that bullied me in school, I later learned they crushed on me. Girls wouldn't speak to me and accused me of being a whore for "wearing revealing clothes" aka wearing shorts during summer at 13 when I wasn't even aware of my appearance and not even too interested in boys. I was accused of being mean/hateful/evil for just existing and minding my own business. I never discriminated anyone for not being conventionally beautiful, and that was a grave mistake because they ended up being jealous and trying to live vicariously through me. The few girl friends I had I lost them because they were either jealous or in love with me, and I didn't feel the same way. Nowadays, men barely ever approach me, they prefer to stare at my butt, my legs or straight at my vagina in some cases. Only the bold ones are vocal but I know they only want me as eye candy or for sex. They would rather marry an average or below average woman. My life basically. The worst thing is that you can't tell this to anyone without them laughing in your face because "you're beautiful, you can't have problems".

[@judyfleary8036]

Stare at your vagina? What?

[@eMiii324]

The story of my life, thank you for sharing!

[@kamilaglow5130]

People look with their eyes, but see with their soul. People look at me with lust, but still nobody sees me

[@Areli-l2i]

Brigitte Bardot fainted several times when she was met by a crowd of men (fans), and ladies hated her for that. One lady attacked her in the elevator with a fork 🍴

[@alexxx5749]

Beautiful and well made video. I really appreciate you displaying the harsh realities of beauty; people really don’t understand it because beautiful people appear to be so stunning that they’re dehumanized.

[@alair_data6944]

When I was about 21 years old, bring pretty put me in a lot of difficult situations. I had social anxiety because I literally attracted stares from both male and female in large numbers. When I got the chance to see a therapist for my self esteem issues, I told her that I felt I was too pretty and tried discussing some of the pretty privilege problems I was facing. Maybe I expected more but she responded to me with hate, and made me feel I was a nobody - quite ironic isn't it?? Other pretty privilege problems I face is: - Everyone assumes you are dumb: People get shocked when they find out I know, read, understand and argue philosophy. Or social matters. Everyone just is shocked like they have been given veils of confusion. - You try so hard to be taken seriously: At least everyday I see myself doing so and this point tightly relates to the fact that because people think you are dumb, you keep trying to improve yourself. - Everyone thinks you are rich, of don't have problems: I have difficulty asking for loans for people I call friends because their first reaction is ah, don't you have a boyfriend?? How are you single? How can you be broke when you are this pretty? All sorts of stupid questions like this that boil my heart to the brim I am even more so triggered to write this comment because I work with certain people who make me feel this everyday🥺 And oh, no one takes you seriously too! I'm 23 now - and seeing that therapist messed me up. I hated myself even more and stopped taking care of myself a while. It's frigged up.

[@ciorr4048]

I’m sorry you went though something like that! Hope you’re doing a little better and seeing another professional who actually knows what they’re doing,,,,

[@francescacarmagnole4354]

shine your light. bright. ✝

[@edensky5825]

I live in Ethiopia, where women are praised for their beauty in all of Africa. It's obvious the country doesn't have good education system so young ladies see this as an "easy money". People have told me that Ethiopian women who migrated abroad are called gold-diggers, green card chasers...etc I even saw a video of a Chinese man following and recording a local woman in Ethiopia saying that they are cheap, easy to get in Chinese. Beauty can be a weapon and a curse.

[@pilpil8180]

I grew up ugly, so I strived to be smart, nice, and develop a good personality and I feel like I was under appreciated compared to the effort I put into it. Once I hit early adulthood to be specific, when I started to experience pretty privilege and it's all everyone sees... They thought that I keep getting away with things just because I'm pretty and nothing else matters.

[@MsLolaTaylor]

Felt this one

[@lovvesickrose5593]

this has got to be the most beautiful video I have ever seen! the editing is impressive and creative and the message and the woman you include were so spot on your crafted words left me with a shiver in my spine...not to mention your soft and calm voice that really threaded the words together beautifully

[@halanuman]

So absolutely sweet of you to say thank you 🫶🏼 sending you hearts 💕

[@hanananah]

This video puts "beauty isn't everything" in a new context. It's not just encouragement to those of us not blessed with beauty. It's a reminder to still be kind to those who are.

[@halanuman]

Thank you for summing it up so beautifully. I’m glad almost everyone is getting that as my parting message ♥️

[@missboozehound]

Women’s jealousy is awful. I’ve experience it even to this day. I go to the pool or I am out in public. My own mother was beautiful and even she is jealous of her own child. My gay brother is thin, tall, well groomed, has unrivaled style and very exotic looking. Even he has to deal with women’s jealousy. Especially older women. He doesn’t validate other people’s insecurities. What a great analysis.

[@Amiraurgirl]

I don’t know if you know the kpop idol Wonyoung, she’s an 18 year old girl who debuted at 14, she has always been praised for her looks. Right now she is the most popular female idol, she gets so many brand deals and is held on a pedestal simply because of how gorgeous she is. It has come to a point where she would go into extreme measures to keep looking pretty, she is unhealthily skinny. She also acts cute and feminine but unfortunately gets an extreme amount of hatred from people online and even other idols are dismissive and rude to her, even ones in her own group. The company favours her amongst all so clearly jealousy is present in the hearts of the members. It sounds great to be considered the prettiest idol however I can’t imagine the pressure that she is going through at such a young age. I feel like she’s so lonely. :(

[@andreinapereira552]

i think you are twisting the story cause she is actuall the one who is rude to other idols and even her own band mates. she gets hate for dumb things, yes, but she had a bad attitude many times, and also, is not a good thing to be favoured by the agency if she is in a GROUP

[@serenitysubs933]

@@andreinapereira552 how do u even know that, u don't know her

[@twinkincarnate]

@@andreinapereira552 even if she is rude, which I don't think she is, you can't really control how much someone favors you or not. it's not wonyoung's fault that her company likes her more for whatever reason. is it wrong? of course, but she really can't do anything about it

[@meowcat712]

​@@twinkincarnatethey're proving your point

[@star-miubin]

​​@@andreinapereira552LOL from what? 6-second TikToks that are manipulated to make her look like a bad person? Because if so, I can do that with any idol and they will also look like a bitch. Also, it isn't her fault that her company favors her (and they kinda don't because the other members have their own bulk of activities but sure let's just focus on Wonyoung shall we?).

[@odette4059]

People want to be pretty but don’t realise the downsides like being hated on just for being prettier. The burden of having other people project their insecurities on to you isn’t fun, as they want you to feel bad for having a blessing they all desire. It’s isolating. Pretty privilege is a blessing and a curse. People treat you differently, nicer, but that’s a con in itself. A lot of interactions aren’t genuine, and feel hollow for gain, however those interactions may get you further in certain situations. It’s a Lose-Win. Men are a good example of this. It’s proven than men only make friends with girls they’re attracted to. If you’re pretty, you’re easily able to make friends with them, but they still base alot of it off your looks at the end of the day. Jealousy from other girls is the worst. The looks they give can be worse than the boys stares. They insult you for overdressing even though you’re both wearing the same things, you just having managed to pull it off better. Catcalling from older men too, especially when you’re not comfortable with sexual things but still want to look good to feel good. It’s like an endless spiral of complications.

[@Womanfemale12]

That is a fact. Women stare more at me on the streets than men do. When they are a couple I don't looking at any of them because the woman's stare is terrible. You never know how somebody is going to treat you when they look at you. Most of the times they are fake nice but sometimes they are just straight up ru&de for no reason.

[@Sassyvivian]

Girl shut we know it can have bad sides but nothing is worse than being ugly

[@justspittingsomefacts6425]

But being ugly is pure curse. Atleast if you're pretty, people won't make ruthless jokes about you. You won't be an outcast.Some women may envied you but if you're ugly, *most* people will hate you for no reason at all, no one will ever want your company

[@odette4059]

@@Sassyvivian when the hell did i say i’d rather be ugly? hence the prettiness is a ‘blessing’ as well as a curse

[@feaww5085]

i think while beautiful women are a a higher risk of being mistreated because of jealousy i believe that not every (exceptionally) beautiful woman will experience such inhumane treatment. I believe it's rather how much of a threat people perceive you to be. ex: - wonyoung from ive is constantly in scrutiny as a result of peoples jealousy. while she's a pretty girl i dont think its because of that that people will go to great lengths to tear her down. its because she is a threat. yujin from the same band is a pretty girl as well but no one is trying hard to condemn her bec shes not a threat like wonyoung. - audrey hepburn, one of the most beautiful and elegant women in hollywood history, was celebrated amongst female audiences during her time. even with her designer clothes and grand persona, she wasnt a threat to women unlike the blonde bombshells with big breasts that had men drooling over them making their girlfriends or spouses jealous. - Dita Von Teese someone who works in a male oriented field and has amazing style, attends fashion shows, high profile friends, etc. has a fanbase and audience mostly comprising of women. They don't find her a threat but rather look up to her. - meryl streep, who objectively isnt an exceptional beauty, has dealt with so much jealousy from coworkers/ people in the industry. She has faced a great amount of people trying to take her achievements away, bad mouthing her, etc.

[@halanuman]

I agree with your sentiment at the end of the first paragraph: “… how much of a threat people perceive you to be” and add to that that it’s how much of a threat other women see the beautiful woman in question and how threatened they are by her beauty depending on how they also perceive themselves/are regarded as just as beautiful or less so. When it comes to someone like Audrey Hepburn, I agree with you. She was celebrated for her presence and elegance and I would say not so much her timeless beauty. I’d have to look into it more but perhaps Marilyn Monroe (as you mentioned blonde bombshell types) are more so the focal point of analyses such as mine because she was blatantly mistreated (and it was more complex than simply her beauty). Thanks for commenting and I’m happy to see more people voicing their opinions on here :)

[@hsd287]

That proves the point that it's not always jealousy if a person is beautiful and the jealousy is caused by the judgmental society who destroy ppls happiness if they aren't pretty

[@hsd287]

@@halanuman well obviously if ur not a beautiful or youthful woman everyone percieves u as inferior that's where the whole thing begins its not their fault it's ours 😭

[@feaww5085]

@@halanuman my comment was mostly focused on the malena segemnt but i would also like to add that people from marilyns time had said there were actresses far more beautiful than her but she is still one of the most desired and unfortunately mistreated women in hollywood. I think yes she wouldn't desired in the first place if she wasn't conventionally attractive but it was her perceived vulnerability that had made her an easy target. Sophia Loren, another sex symbol, as far as public information goes didn't have the same treatment as marily. I would argue it was because she wasn't perceived as an easy target like marilyn and people were actually intimidated by her which is what i believe is to why shes still alive today and outlived her hollywood peers she didn't face mistreatment (again as far as public information goes) and she wasn't vulnerable. Ive also seen in real life people who were perceived as exceptionally beautiful to be put on a pedestal and treated like royalty. I knew someone exactly like that. Exceptionally beautiful, rich, intelligent popular, etc. But no one was threatened by her. Rather they all treated her with utmost respect and treated her like a God. While in contrast this other person I knew who was beautiful, popular, talented, etc. was isolated, bullied, had so many rumors and gossip about her. People didnt perceive her to be an exceptional beauty but she was still beautiful nonetheless. She was horribly mistreated by the peopld around her because she was perceived as a threat. So many were jealous of her that they did everything they could to tear her down.

[@tobealady.4490]

No offense to you but let’s be honest. The women you listed in your example are not the beautiful women that are being ostracized in the video. These women you mention are no threat to other women unlike Angelina Jolie, the actress who played in marlins , Marilyn Monroe etc…. These are the women other women are jealous of. Beautiful and have amazing figures.

[@samaireoctober5584]

The price of pretty privilege is STILL better than the cost of ugly discard.

[@jamiehershon]

This lol. It's the same with being thin over being fat. In first world countries, you are more likely to be viewed as attractive for being thin than being fat. Sure thin people may get shammed but it's nothing like fat shamming.

[@Patricia-cp2zg]

It's not, Samaire. Look the video again please.

[@LithningWolf]

@@Patricia-cp2zg A video essay on 3 people and a movie doesn't change the facts that statistics speak for themselves. Also, beauty privilege doesn't concern only women. Whereas the cost of beauty seems to always come down to the way society treats the woman's body.

[@oldgrandpamos3341]

I understand the video, I really do. The cost of having beauty can be a downside in many ways. That being said, as someone who was an ugly duckling all her 21 years, I'm slowly but surely transforming to the other side. And all I can say that the other side is much better than the life of an ugly duckling. People respect you more. You get away with more. I'm sure that most people who have experienced both sides would say the same thing.

[@aman-qe3du]

True that

[@WendzM7427]

7:05 I felt that. Jolie is right. When you're a beautiful woman people will touch you, look at you and assume things about you that you're not. I literally had to stop my own mother for always emphasizing wrong things about me that I'm not. I'm cautious with what I dress. I don't need make up at all to attract the attention of people. Aggression from women is real. This Malena movie is true. The stare from both genders is real

[@ollyokoye2258]

This is so insightful and thought provoking. Plus your voice is ethereal and reflects your true beauty. Outward beauty in itself is an illusion because once you love a person's soul, their beauty never ends or fades.

[@00st307-m]

Also reminds me of how people loved tearing down Britney Spears. How they were excited to call her fat - when she had just had kids - and was dealing w a divorce. She’s still not the same from all that.

[@amygalvin1799]

Beauty doesn’t protect anyone from mental illness/ depression. However, most would be happy to have the “ burden” of beauty rather than being plain and ignored.

[@alexanderboleyn2058]

One of my best friends is one of the most beautiful girls I’ve seen, and in her 12th birthday her brother told her: -What a pity! You’ll always be alone… -Why? -she asked -*Because you’re beautiful*

[@nisc.a]

I glad that someone bring this up. Because some people blaming pretty people for their misfortune, those pretty people never even asking or begging for people attentions and all the priviliges they receive. Just because they are pretty, sadly it's enough make jealous people making any excuses to blame them, even creating their own double standart towards them.

[@RubixCube__]

The worst part about this is that people will never understand how isolating it can feel and people think you’re conceited or shallow for saying stuff like this but it’s just such a painful experience.

[@f4e882]

Having gone through both the lack of pretty privilege and extreme pretty privilege… it’s kind of insane. i was super unattractive when I was younger. it’s like anything i did was inconvenient, my own presence was annoying. now that i’m older, grown into my looks, taken care of myself and, quite frankly, altered myself to fit the social beauty standards, i find the reactions i receive to be quite the opposite. People are so much kinder, and it feels weird. I behave almost the exact same, yet i’m more preferable now. but, before i knew people stuck around because they liked me for me. now i know they just want something aesthetically pleasing to look at. weird concept.

[@Womanfemale12]

Welcome to the club Well people never loved me pe&riod but now I know that it's only because of my appearance they are there because they disappear super fast. Me too tbh.

[@quackeddiamonds6497]

yep grown women would go out of their way to bully me because i was autistic. The way people justify being mean to a literal child is disgusting, it went away when I "glowed up" according to other ppl

[@wafflegabba5970]

I grew in hard times and a rocky marriage by both of my parents until today. I was never really the pretty girl or someone anybody would be friends with. I was a loner and a daughter who grew too quick. After highschool, I was so determined to change everything about myself. I never noticed it, but I actually inherited really beautiful genes from both my parents. My father, although he is very abusive and downright repulsive, was a very attractive young man to the point he was scouted as a model. My mama was also so beautiful that he had several men who wanted to ask for her hand in marriage. I never grew to experience acne, but I had a weight problem and was very chubby as a young girl which skewed my perspective on myself. It wasn't so obvious until I actually developed my ED and shed the weight off. I was going through the most loneliest and majorly depressive life, and still I dressed pretty and kept my face pretty with makeup and longtime skincare. I decided to actually kept the nice appearance and all of a sudden, everything changed. After being diagnosed from a psychiatrist, I was very much admired from people but on the inside I was consistently on the verge of suicide and being mentally unstable despite my appearance at the scale where society favors me most. A few years afterwards, I am now my own person and I absolutely own my beauty and self. It makes me somehow sorrowful that nobody will ever take my life experience of constant trauma and loneliness as something important. Because my appearance is incredibly deceiving, same goes for my personality. Now, I have a lot of people (boys especially) come to me so readily. And im even more devastated by the fact that im just pretty face to be next to rather than someone they want to know as a real person. I treat the outcasts and weirdos just as fairly because I understand what it was like to be treated badly. Being superficial didn't even help me feel good about myself, so i always strived to be kind to people and stand up more for myself. Because human connection made me more fulfilled than being praised by my looks. This video absolutely highlights the deep tragedy behind an angelic face. Nobody would have ever expected me to have several suicide attempts now. I feel that people minimize attractive people going through suffering so much. Now that I'm older and have decent friends, it's easy to identify when people are being honest or just being plain creepy.

[@allthingslexi6046]

Your video made me realize why I feel so much compassion for celebrities that are beautiful when, some think that celebrities are better than us and way more fortunate than us so we shouldn’t really feel bad for them. Yet, I do. I’m a very compassionate person. Although I don’t know what it’s like to be rich, famous, while having transcending beauty, I like to see from other peoples perspective. While people strive to be pretty, they often forget that that comes with harassment from men, jealously from women, objectification, pressure, expectations. Maybe instead of striving so much to be pretty, why not striving more to be intelligent, or strong, or healthy, or just a good person. That seems like a more valuable goal.

[@TIVOSTUDIOS]

I have a close relationship with that theme, my mother is somehow a causality of that, she was an extremely beautiful model, not only because of her features that used to get some much attention on their own, but she had a beautiful voice, charm, the right dose of sense of humour, she kind of demand attention but unfortunately she started to rely on that far too much and when she started to the age she went from someone a bit insensitive to others into plain angry and bitter, she tried to fix with plastic surgeries, fillers and botox which now made her look quite deformed ( she is in her 60s now ) I was kind of male version of her, so my looks were pretty celebrated since my teens, I end up modelling but that was not really the path I wanted as I'm design artist, be perceived as pretty it is nice but sometimes can be pretty depressing because you no longer is seen as a person, but a trophy to be won, and by knowing the direction my mother was going I took a very different direction, i kept taking care of myself but i made it sure to build up a personality apart from my looks, i developed my artistic endeavours, I'm 46 now and have no plans for botox, fillers anything, im just making sure that once the looks gone i still have a personality to rely on

[@Womanfemale12]

God bless you 💜 You got it.

[@stargirl-fg2gg]

i remember my first day of a new school,i walked into the corridors,trying to seem polite,none of the girls wanted to speak to me,instead they all stared at me and whispered,i walked around the school all by myself until a few boys showed me around,it was absolutely painful...

[@yumalove7223]

I'm sorry those boys were so nice i love when someone see that we boys help a female as nice and polite ppl in the Internet see them as a simp even tho they were nice and did nothing wrong ppl are just weird

[@deadcorpse69]

is no one also going to mention with pretty women and loneliness? When attractive beautiful women feel lonely simply due to lack of meaningful relationship or any genuine intimacy bonds they had because all the men they ever dated just wants them for looks and beauty? When in attractiveness, you have the advantage of being the object centered to bring men as they value you for your looks and lust. It's concerning how loneliness is increasing overtime with attractive women but is overlooked and dismissed about.

[@ayla8345]

I’m sorry but if a woman feels lonely due to the lack of meaningful romantic relationships then she is dating the wrong men. Attractive women have MUCH higher chances or finding love. If you are ugly, you have fewer option. Maybe go on 1 date a month, attractive women can go on a date multiple times a week. Therefore, more chances to actually find love. An ugly woman goes outside and doesn’t get approached at all, an attractive woman gets approached constantly, even if it’s just for her looks, she has a chance to get to know a guy.

[@thatElene]

​@@ayla8345nope. Most men don't approach the beautiful women because of the fear of rejection

[@Womanfemale12]

@@ayla8345 It's shows you have no idea what you're talking about. First of you don't "find love" you either have it or you don't. Second of all no men don't approach us at all. Depends on the level of Beauty. If you're beautiful but like above averrage yes maybe a little. But if you're stunning or clearly beautiful no you don't. And if you do it's definitely not the men you want. No we don't have easier time finding a husband. We have easier time finding men that's for sure we can walk up to a man and talk to him but it's not gonna be serious plus not all men want us either. So no. Don't talk about things you clearly know nothing about.

[@Womanfemale12]

@@thatElene True.

[@thatElene]

@@Womanfemale12 I agree absolutely. Average-looking women get the best relationships because they are more attractive long-term. Everybody's going to stare at your beautiful wife, so to avoid stress and jealousy...