Happiness is a choice

My Amazon Storefront ⬇️
www.amazon.com/shop/aviacolette
linktr.ee/aviacolette
All my socials & products can be viewed here⬆️
- I film with the Sony ZV-1 Mark 2 camera (the best)
- For business inquires, [e-mail]
Thank you for joining me today ☺️🤍

[@HolliKel]

This might sound silly but “inside out” was actually a really important movie and really teaches the importance that ALL emotions are important and valid. At the end sadness is what fixes everything, joy and happiness is obviously a wonderful feeling that is great to feel but sadness, anger, etc are also equally important. There is very much a thing as toxic positivity. You can be equally as toxically positive as you are negative. Both are bad and both cause people to not want to be around you. It’s important to know that all feelings are valid

[@emms4867]

This is so true. As someone who suffers with chronic depression, I can't imagine reaching out to a friend who is so toxicly positive and wouldn't be able to let me show my true emotions around them without being told, happiness is a choice.

[@MikeandJess]

I remember your dad preaching this to me when I was an impressionable little kid. I have anxiety and struggle with depression and straight up thought something was wrong with me with this mentality.

[@HappyGilmore924]

and the whole time he was an alcoholic cheater.

[@PiggyAzaleea]

Seriously. Avia is a sweet person but she was brainwashed about a lot of things and this is one of them.

[@emms4867]

Yep preaching happiness is a choice meanwhile drowning his sorrows with drinking and cheating on his wife.... You'd think this would have given her a valuable life lesson. But then again she's hardly even stepped foot off KZbin and out of America so is so out of touch with real world issues. Imagine being preached to by a privileged KZbinr teen who's career was made for her by her farther.... Won't be watching any more of her vids

[@lakenj]

Dont forget shay was cheating on his wife while yelling at us poors to choose happiness

[@HappyGilmore924]

@@lakenj Yep. So disingenuous and I'm pretty sure he still preaches it to his dwindling audience.

[@elly3477]

Very harmful mindset for those of us who struggle with depression. Must be nice.

[@HappyGilmore924]

the sad thing, Avia might struggle with it too but she's been taught to push those feelings down and "choose" happiness. She even said her cramps were a "mindset" the other day. So unhealthy.

[@Ddreinthebay]

I think the balance you’re mentioning or trying to convey is gratitude. Gratitude for what you do have and being optimistic and hopeful for the future.

[@therealkenziesandlin]

Yes, exactly this. Appreciating what you have and hoping for an abundant future.

[@oliviab8425]

ABSOLUTLY

[@quicksilver455]

Yeah, developing contentment towards the present moment.

[@hey3velyn]

also in a recent tiktok, you said “pain is a mindset” so if someone got life threatening disease, it’s just a mindset? it’s very clear to me that you have never experienced the real world. and if you force yourself to be happy, it won’t make you happy at all. it’s okay to be sad, angry etc. can we please end toxic positivity?

[@ckblackwoodmusic]

THANK YOU.

[@iPodMusician]

exactly! thank you for this! and also- mental health? thats pain, too. no one with depression, anxiety etc chooses that, nor is it a 'mindset' nor can they just choose to be happy! its a disease!

[@OfficiallyLydiasLife]

OMG she did this? 🫠

[@betsydiaz775]

that's not what she means, pain being a mindset means you don't mope around dwelling on your sadness. THAT'S your mindset. You can be sad but your mindset can be instead, I'm sad but let me do something that will avert this pain into something positive. OBVIOUSLY pain can be physical. You had the wrong idea there and that's okay! It is absolutely okay to be sad, we need to feel that in order to get better but we also cannot just sit in our dark room and watch sad tiktoks and listen to sad music alllllll the time just because we feel that way but instead we have to change our mindset and move forward. It's hard but there are several ways to get through it.

[@emms4867]

I battle two chronic pain conditions and it's disgustingly insulting that she said that. She is so ignorant to the real world that she was born too privileged to ever be a part of. Used to watch her vlogs but don't and won't watch them anymore

[@kaylavictoria5360]

In the nicest way possible I get the vibe that you’re repressing a lot of your feelings and trying to replace them with positivity. Like you’re a great kid, but I think you need to sit down and just let yourself genuinely feel without trying to be happy 24/7. Maybe even go to therapy. You went through very public things at a young age, that there is no way you don’t have some type of trauma from that. Not saying this to judge you in anyway, I’m saying this from the perspective of someone who is slightly older than you and enjoys your videos and has noticed a pattern.

[@juicyjessica2298]

what is actually wrong with being happy 24/7? why would you suggest AGAINST this?

[@brendaramirez8999]

@@juicyjessica2298 theres nothing wrong with being happy 24/7 but no one is so its important to embrace your true feelings :)

[@juicyjessica2298]

@@brendaramirez8999 im sorry do you know every single person in this world emotions or are you making an assumption? After I was able to get myself out of my depression I am very much close to that. So there's hope for you to be kinder, more understanding, and significantly more positive. I promise.

[@brendaramirez8999]

@@juicyjessica2298 im not making an assumption its just a fact. everyone has felt pain before and all I'm saying is that's okay. you even admitted you've felt depressed and, therefore not happy all the time. i wasn't being rude and I consider myself a kind, understanding, and positive person lol thanks for your unsolicited input tho. I'm glad you're doing better and I hope one day you can embrace everything about you

[@anon5243]

@@juicyjessica2298 the problem with being happy 24/7 is that it requires so much more mental conditioning to ignore the fact that pain and suffering exist than it would to just accept the reality of things. Hardships shouldn’t be repressed, you are meant to experience pain to become stronger and wiser and to grow as a person.

[@YourSolarEyes86]

You should have guessed that your dad's belief in this mindset wasn't true simply because if it was he wouldn't have been an substance abuser. He would have chosen not to be. Why do you think he drank? He was trying to cope, he had pain. I saw a video your mother made with tears in her eyes saying how she was fighting for her marriage but her dream died. She was surely struggling badly through some of these times.

[@MissSerendipity22]

I remember that video. It broke my heart. Very good point to make. Shay abused alcohol not because he was happy and if choosing happiness was so easy then why didn’t he just choose to be happy!? He was far from happy that he even cheated on Colette with a cam girl. Again, he did not choose happiness. He created trauma for the people who love him the most. That’s the Mormon cult for you though, look at Ruby Franke😖. Avia is 18 and living in her own. She needs to realize her followers do not live the life she does. There are teenagers younger than her out here working to help put food on the table, worrying about getting evicted and she’s over here, “just be happy guys, like that’s it just choose happiness”. I was a huge fan of the shaytards, loved the family dynamic and when Avia started vlogging I supported her as well. I genuinely want her to succeed in life, but she needs to take a step back and look around her. She should take a drive through skid row and see the other side of life. She needs to wake TF up.

[@kaimcalvin]

I understand the intention behind saying 'happiness is a choice,' and I know you’re trying to empower but its more accurate to say ‘gratitude is a choice’. there are so many factors that are out of our control, like mental health issues or life events that heavily influence our capacity for feeling happy.

[@wendyjenae]

"Gratitude is a choice." I love that affirmation. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant.

[@sydneybaustralia5732]

“Gratitude is a choice” is so powerful! I love that so much more than saying “happiness” instead!

[@mariamj817]

oh girl this is giving privileged.... I know you think "happiness is a choice" because you're only 18, are able to live comfortably going to erewon and not struggling buying groceries. and its what your father spewed on the internet to us when WE were kids watching you guys. but this mindset isn't reality. You are lucky you do social media for a job and your parents are millionaires. but some of us working a 9-5, 40-50 hours a week and STILL struggling to live in this economy, being stressed about bills, insurance, health issues etc its never ending. You still have so much adulthood to live, I wonder if you'll feel the same about this 10 years from now.

[@juicyjessica2298]

why are you raining on her sunshine?

[@juicyjessica2298]

she’s 19…some kids her age are still with their parents. they are privileged too for not paying for rent and possibly laying on a couch not doing anything. anything wrong with that? please remember she’s so young and this is what she should be doing. she has hella time to do more.

[@ItsKourtneylove]

Girly you're so lucky you live such a privileged life , you might not find happiness such an easy ~choice~ if you actually had to struggle a little

[@ConnieJ]

Exactly.

[@ashley-nc4bt]

couldn’t agree more

[@Kaylabob7]

You try tell someone with severe mental health issues that happiness is a choice??? I WISH I could be happy but my brain is in fact literally not wired that way via chemical imbalance. We don’t need more toxic positivity in this world. Pain isn’t a mindset, and pain shouldn’t be diminished. We should feel pain! And we should feel other emotions. We can be grateful all the time and choose to be grateful but we can’t choose to be happy.

[@steveo7771286]

I have adhd and bipolar. I am not always happy, not by a long shot. But there have been situations where I’ve talked myself out of a bad mood and chosen to be happy. There’s a much older statement that is very similar to this. Attitude is everything. Worded better, sure, but he’s not the first to say it.

[@blueberrynaya]

The "happiness is a choice" sentiment is something that I found very difficult growing up and hearing your dad say this in the vlogs. You can't just automatically be like OH I AM HAPPY when your are in a bad situation because it isn't realistic. Last summer when I was in my biggest depressive episode all I did was stay in inside, sleep until 4 AM, and was sad all the time. There was a situation the happened to me that took over my life and it was so hard to go outside. I hated myself for feeling that way. All I wanted was to be happy and go back to my normal self but I couldn't. I hated who I was and wanted more then anything to be happy but for you to say that "Happiness is a choice" it's hard to believe because it's nothing something that can occur in an instant. It's an uphill battle for those battling mental illness.

[@PiggyAzaleea]

Unfortunately your Dad taught you this and it's extremely toxic. It's not your fault but look at the comments and learn from them. People have mental health issues, life struggles, if happiness was a choice we'd all just ignore our issues and pretend to be happy about everything. We are human and need to experience sadness, anger and it's ok to not be happy all the time. We need to feel unhappiness. You're very young and was taught that but it's just not healthy to think this way. Any therapist or psychiatrist would say how unhealthy this is. I hope you take this as a lesson and grow.

[@CruelQuertos]

It also helps with being born into extreme wealth and literally have no struggles in life lol. She has zero life knowledge and she's trying to preach us life advices when she's been sheltered from the real life since birth. Of course people get upset over this nonchalant delusional mindset

[@MandaFandaa]

This this this!!!! All of this!!!

[@MandaFandaa]

@@CruelQuertosand this too!!! ❤

[@ashley-nc4bt]

this!!

[@Aillexander]

@@CruelQuertosthat’s your parents fault not her’s or her parents.

[@MandaFandaa]

Avia, I hope you take the comments of this video and really sit with them on your own. Read them. Take them in. These comments are from real people who experienced things you probably never will. Use this to better yourself and grow. Because you’re all about that right? Sometimes it’s uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s necessary. Best of luck on your journey of self discovery!

[@nataliflores128]

I see where she's coming from. And although her lifestyle, upbringing, and family life isn't all that relatable. I'm sure she knows/recognizes her privilege. That being said, I don't think Avia has bad intentions whatsoever with the message she's spreading. But yeah she is incredibly lucky to have been dealt the cards that life gave her, so it's easy for her to carry that carefree, life is simple mindset.

[@oliviab8425]

YES

[@huck9750]

Happiness is NOT a choice. You can NOT force yourself to be happy or force someone to be happy unfortunately. #facts It is NOT their fault their emotions are that way.

[@rheemk1980]

I love Avia but she doesn't take into account unforeseen circumstances that people have to go through before "choosing to be happy". Happiness is a choice but only after you have a basic standing and circumstances out of your control. Maybe she means that you "can make the best out of every situation"?

[@huck9750]

@@rheemk1980 I always had an issue when Shay said this. Money doesn’t buy happiness, having material things isn’t a true meaning of happiness, the list goes on. Faking to be happy can be exhausting and toxic to your mental well being

[@stephanieceballos6078]

thank you!

[@ConnieJ]

Exactly.. not to mention that depression, is a chemical imbalance in the brain.. and that no amount of trying to force yourself to be happy.. will it work. Anyone who thinks "Happiness is a choice" is jaded and a fake.

[@MilanaPaddock]

Agreed. She's only 18, eventually she'll learn that all of life is not all "happy moments" you can't force your self to be happy all the time and you certainly cannot tell someone, "just be happy life is beautiful" I remember I was that way at her age, just thinking that you got your whole life together and when you're raised in that way to believe its all rainbows and butterflies in a sheltered home, its hard to think of any other way of life if nothing has changed or nothing has changed you.. There's a lot of growing up to do. I''ve lost friendships, I've been through a few heart breaks, I've had job losses, I've moved from home, my life isn't perfect and I'm certainly not going around telling people to just be grateful for what they have just as much as you can't force your self to be happy all the time. You are allowed to feel sad, depressed and show your emotions and if you're struggling with anything means life, talk to trusted friends, family or therapist. Don't listen to KZbinrs or " these so called influencers on their "Happy life," of course they have one, thats what they show off all the time to us.

[@summerfleming9200]

This is giving privileged. You grew up rich and got anything/ everything you wanted. You have not faced one hardship in your 18 years of life. Good luck.

[@hannauahmueller598]

I'm not sure that's fair to say - equity not equality. There are people who definitely enjoy more privilege than others, but if the most traumatic thing for them was family hardship, almost broken relationships, attacks on your family on social media, watching your parents dealing with addiction and marital strain........then that is still valid trauma. It may not be as traumatic as other experiences, but it doesn't invalidate the experience and is still hard to that person. Most of us in America, even in the lower class who struggle with poverty and have experienced real abuse and loss and hardship, are highly privileged compared to so many other parts of the world. The same could be said for our hardships when we have never seen a day of war, or never seen true (third world) poverty, and have access to so much.

[@Gohappygirl]

She did not grow up rich. Her parents stole toilet paper from restaurants bc they couldn’t afford it…. He dad cheated on her mom, twice, assaulted her music teacher, her dad is an alcoholic. she has so much trauma. She’s searching for every ouch of happiness than she can find

[@CaitlinEileenRose]

Girl, don’t listen to the people in the comments with negative things to say about your family and your dad and whatever trauma you’re supposed to be burdened with. It’s obvious you are doing great and if you’re happy with things, don’t let commenters who don’t have happy lives bring you down. Everyone has their struggles and it’s important to empathize with that, but it’s not their job to criticize you. You do you! ❤ Also, love the chatty video podcast vibe!

[@MissSerendipity22]

Loving this comment section and how everyone is expressing the toxicity of this “happiness is a choice” mindset. Especially when it’s coming from such a privileged, jaded “influencer” who inherited a bunch of her dad’s followers. Everything has been handed to her. She’s never worked a real job like the majority of us have. She has the privilege of waking up and going to the beach to watch the sun rise. She has the privilege to afford a $3,000 a month apartment and not worry about rent every month. She has the privilege to buy groceries and $20 smoothies from Erewhon (where the kardashians shop for groceries). She is out of touch with reality and the reality of her fans, the people who watch her allowing her to live this life.

[@emms4867]

I for one won't be watching aka funding any more of her content.

[@CruelQuertos]

​@@emms4867Shay is worth like a billion dollars, he brainwashed her into being this delusional and out of touch while having a side chick snd being alcoholic 😂 and now this kid is trying to give us life advices 😂

[@tdian]

Get a grip and don't watch her then? If you don't like someones content or their outlook don't watch? Take a look at yourself this sounds jealous I think you need to do some inner work and figure that out

[@MissSerendipity22]

@@tdian I’m expressing my thoughts. Is there a rule posted somewhere on here saying we’re not allowed to? Last I checked, freedoms of speech was still a thing…so what’s your point? Have a happy day. 🙃

[@Yamainthejar]

I agree with the general sentiment of this in terms of the "happiness is a choice" nonsense but I'll disagree on one major thing. Avia and her siblings didn't grow up with everything handed to them, they grew up with their parents exploiting them from an exceedingly young age, from before they could consent to being on camera and posted online. And their parents built the fortunes of the family off the backs of their children. Every awkward and intimate moment of their young lives has been documented for the internet to see and will never be entirely scrubbed from the internet. That's not and never will be acceptable nor something that Avia should hold blame for. I should hope at the very minimum Avia and the other Butler kids do and continue to use the money that's their rightful property because the reality is the vast majority of their family's popularity has always stemmed from the kids, not the parents. There's a reason even now the most viewed and liked videos on the Shaytards channel are the ones heavily featuring the children. I don't agree with Avia's juvenile notion that you can wish away negativity just by thinking it into existence but she's a teenager just now stepping into the independence of adulthood, and yes, she's grown up in a bubble while facing very little pressure that comes with poverty. Hopefully she'll learn and come to terms with these nuances as she grows older and gains more experience in life. But I guarantee it won't be thanks to bitter comments like yours that throw her exploitation in her face and blame her for it.

[@yrublu]

You’re a brand new adult, why are you trying to give life advice??

[@HappyGilmore924]

because she grew up with shay and colette rambling and lying about their "perfect" lives and she feel she has to do the same. That whole family feels like they have to preach to their audience about how to live.

[@ckblackwoodmusic]

@@HappyGilmore924 Verily.

[@HappyGilmore924]

I like you Avia, but it's such a toxic mindset to push on people. You are very very privileged and very young and haven't actually lived life yet and the thing is, you won't even go through most of the hardships that a lot of us have to face because of your wealth. Your dad pushed that awful mindset on impressionable young people all while hiding his actual mental health issues and demons.

[@Bloggerspot-dw8qs]

100%

[@MAHA-aaaaaa]

Totally agree with you. It’s sad that I’m almost 21 and I just realized that.

[@SarahYehiaa]

True

[@CruelQuertos]

Even though she tries to have her heart in the right place she is still a spoiled brat with zero life knowledge. And now she is trying to teach ME life lessions!?? 🤬🤬

[@helenaneel280]

I wish i could be this delusional

[@ivy-ys8or]

so out of touch 😭 you’re someone who has never had to struggle in life of course you think happiness is a choice

[@esosaomorogbe4182]

If the thing that’s making you unhappy is self inflicted, then yes, to an extent happiness can be a choice. However, we have to admit most conflicts and struggles “unhappy” people go through are beyond their control. Telling someone they’re unhappy because they refuse to “choose happiness” lacks nuance and empathy to say the least.

[@Perksofbeingawallflowermel]

Ya tell my clinical depression that happiness is a choice….

[@juicyjessica2298]

Time with heal. You will get that light of happiness. It’s not impossible because of your diagnosis. I’ve been there but there is a light outside the tunnel

[@nicoleaggarwal7451]

If only happiness was a choice. I wake up everyday trying to practice that mindset only for others to judge, shut me down, and hate. As someone with OCD, to say happiness is a choice is so diminishing of real struggles people like me have when your brain does not allow you to be happy.

[@YourSolarEyes86]

I have ocd too and I was thinking about how I sobbing my heart out filing my water bottle today, trying to make myself move around between rooms because I was dying from physical anxiety

[@gwenhughes8650]

@@YourSolarEyes86 I'm so sorry you are going through that. I'm thinking about you and I hope things get a little easier soon!!

[@MandaFandaa]

I’m so glad to see you speak up for yourself. That in itself is beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

[@YourSolarEyes86]

Thank you. I had a consultation with a new psychologist today so maybe he can help. It was lovely to receive your message thank you

[@xxxCHLOE1004xxx]

Maybe for someone who has everything they need and still isn't satisfied but so toxic for most people who are just struggling to survive.

[@lestergreen2828]

Yeah that’s what I think too. It’s only a choice when u have what u need to survive

[@rosalindacano]

Happiness isn’t a choice when you’ve had a chronic illness your whole adult life that practically has me bedridden, unable to work, & use my bachelors degree I worked so hard to get. I can’t even take care of my 2yr old. I doubt if you were in my position laying in bed all day not being able to live life & travel would not be saying that. And I get it you are still so young I used to think just like you but now I’m 25 and trust life comes at you fast. Your mindset will change.

[@bria1572]

"your mindset will change" its almost like its a choice ....

[@rosalindacano]

@@bria1572 what I meant by that is that beliefs change with age and experiences. Not just because you choose to.

[@Lex-tm1ep]

I'm in a similar situation minus the kid. My doctor literally told me “money talks” and until I can afford private insurance it'll be extremely hard to find someone willing to do the surgery I desperately need 🫠 but of course, happiness is a choice

[@juicyjessica2298]

maybe you should use this video to be present in the moment, as she stated, and look at your child everyday. turn your mind set around and think man i get to live another day and it’s worth it. i’m living for my family. i’m sorry about your situation of course. i just think this video can make you look that you have even a bed, you have a child, you were strong enough to finish school, be more proud of yourself and make the best of it. you will dig yourself into a hole if you constantly will hate the day.

[@rosalindacano]

@@juicyjessica2298 That’s more of a gratitude thing than happiness. But of course I am super grateful for my son & of all the necessities I have. I do constantly find things to be grateful about to not always be so negative but that still doesn’t bring happiness.

[@crazycatlady1393]

Girrrrl you did not lol

[@callieporteous4550]

My moms homeless because she cant afford to pay rent but #happinessisachoice

[@BeeJ82]

This is the same kind of toxic positivity your Dad used to share. We all know how they went

[@Amipalovestwilight]

I understand why many people are upset about what Avia said and I agree that happiness is not a choice and that it can be very damaging to say something like that to people who are struggling. However, she still makes a lot of really good points. Noticing the little things that are good in our lives and trying to be thankful for them, changing our mindset, leaving our phones behind from time to time etc. CAN improve our mental state and it obviously helped her, so she's sharing her experience. I personally think she is very wise and reflects on things very deeply for her age. She might not understand the complexity of this issue yet, but c'mon, you can't expect a 20 year old to have the life experience of a 30, 40 or 50 year old. She's going to get there. It's also not fair to blame her for being priviledged, since it is not her fault that she grew up that way. She is just trying to live her life the best she can, like we all do. And to say that someone who has money never struggled in life is just wrong. We all struggle one way or another. Her experiences are just as valid as everyone elses.

[@Staciesplaceofficial]

Love this comment, thanks for sharing! I feel the same way

[@Sitcomic]

Me when I’m trying to convince my therapist I’ve found the key to life

[@dia4024]

sounds like me trying to convince my therapist i’ve been better knowing damn well

[@allie-bn5lo]

crazy title 💀💀

[@kimkardashianruinedmylife]

Too bad that my best friend who died by suicide didn’t just “CHosE tO bE HaPpY”

[@taliagrundy842]

Literally. Like wtf.

[@juicyjessica2298]

rip to your bestfriend

[@chicken5970]

I have had mental health problems for the past 10 years of my life. I have gotten help and tried to be happy. Happiness is not a choice for most people. It is a privilege people shouldn't take for granted

[@ConnieJ]

THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@Thisisup]

This “happiness is a choice” is getting old and complete bs

[@itshaturday]

With respect, i think you took the wrong part of the message from Mom and Dad. Your parents worked regular jobs before youtube, and have real life experience. You come across as a Pollyanna but I think you do this to talk yourself out of depression or something idk...it doesnt come off as genuine...

[@epc56]

I understand the intention behind saying 'happiness is a choice,' and while it's meant to empower, it can oversimplify the complex nature of human emotions and circumstances. Many factors beyond our control, like mental health issues, socioeconomic status, or life events, heavily influence our capacity for feeling happy. For someone grappling with depression, facing systemic inequality, or enduring loss, the statement might feel dismissive or even judgmental, implying their lack of happiness is a failure to make the 'right' choice. Happiness is multifaceted, and while our attitudes and perspectives play a role, we shouldn't overlook or underestimate the challenges and barriers that can impact someone's ability to feel happy. It's important to approach discussions of happiness with empathy and acknowledge the diverse experiences that shape our emotions.

[@pinkylittleme]

Its giving the Capitol in hunger games lol

[@The_onset_tutor]

Toxic positivity 101. Sounds like you’ve never been anxious or depressed in your life.

[@juicyjessica2298]

Even if you have, this video can make you feel happy in the now and keep going. Why can’t you see the bigger message?

[@The_onset_tutor]

@@juicyjessica2298 probably because I’ve been through too many adverse experiences to empathize with people who think you can choose to be happy?!

[@juicyjessica2298]

​@@The_onset_tutor you seem like constantly be in a conflict within yourself to somehow create a paradox such as TOXIC positivity. You can believe and empathize w/ whoever you wish but it is possible to choose happiness and change your life around no matter how many downs you have in life. Its been done before so don't stop Avia from doing the same and leading her life with grace.

[@summertime056]

@@The_onset_tutorso have I, but I can also see her point of view. Obviously it’s not possible to be happy 24/7 that is not human, it’s unnatural. I think the point she is making is to take mundane things and find the positive in them instead of focusing on the negative. I think we all fall into the trap of finding the negative in things and complaining about everything, when in reality we have a lot of things to be grateful for regardless of our circumstances. Some people are going to struggle more than others, that’s life but I think feeling sorry for yourself is not always helpful. I used to live with a “why me?” mentality about all of my misfortunes, I have since snapped myself out of that and for the most part am living a much more productive and positive life. Of course there are days where the depression or anxiety is bad, but I know what triggers those things and I allow myself to feel those emotions in the moment… that being said I know what strategies to use to get myself out of that headspace too. Comparison is the thief of joy, be kind to yourself and others. You never know what they’re going through behind closed doors.

[@suepete]

Agree, however, if you take a drive and see all of the homeless people living on the streets, you can't tell them to choose happiness. Easier said when you're seeing the world thru rose colored glasses. ❤

[@betsydiaz775]

a lot of people are missing the point that a lot of things in life are about perspective and not dwelling on the negative things in our lives because at the end of the day we have a lot to be thankful for and it doesn't help to just be negative all the time. Yes, people go through the darkest of times and that will never change but it's the effort that we have to put in outwardly and inwardly to change that mindset and move forward with our lives because we can't just stay stagnant in some darkness forever. Those who have depression, seek community, get into hobbies, eat small frequent meals, go out in nature, go on short walks...literally anything can make you feel better if you approach it in a healthy way. Why are ya'll bashing this girl who for surely might go through her own daily struggles but instead of dwelling on it she moves forward in her life in a HEALTHY HAPPY WAY like huhhhh? WHY IS THAT SO BAD I DON'T GET YALL 😀

[@Jenny_Pham]

Your comment needs more likes!!! 😭 or at least get pinned.

[@lenalenabobena]

GRATITUDE is a choice. Happiness is one possible result of choices and circumstance. Privilege has a large impact on your circumstances and your ability to make choices for yourself.

[@missoliviarosey]

I rarely comment on things but I've watched your family since you were living in LA when you were tiny and I was probably your age when your dad told us choose happiness all those years ago... i quickly learned in life the importance and beauty of feeling and talking about sadness, fear, guilt etc... I think its okay if you want to encourage people to be more mindful and encourage people to try and appreciate the small things in life that can bring joy. Unfortunately you cant just ask people to be happy. And its dangerous to ask yourself to just choose happiness too. Thats not how the human mind is supposed to work. Please read these comments Avia, I hope they help you grow your perspective ❤

[@PearlM38]

This reeks of every type of privilege in the world

[@CruelQuertos]

Because her family literally have a billion in the bank with passive income.

[@DiceDecides]

it resonated with me when you said how special it is to be alive at the same time as other people in our lives, there's so many timelines and to have some overlap is such low probability that it must be cherished! :)

[@cherylebeeler]

it’s giving delulu out of touch

[@keira_nd]

just another privileged, out of touch influencer.

[@CharlotteRhodes96]

If I didn’t have to work all week for minimum wage and earn loads of money for doing nothing all day, live in LA by the beach then yeah I would be happy too

[@Kels0423]

The secret to happiness solved by Avia lol I just want $10 for every time you said happy!

[@NikkiTay94]

Life is just not that simple. You can chose to think positively but you also need to be able to acknowledge that there are bad things out there and life is hard and it’s okay to have a bad day, bad week, bad month. And it’s so so easy to be happy when you are 18 and pretty and rich

[@MAHA-aaaaaa]

🛑READ🛑 Avia it feels like you’re always forcing yourself to be happy and perfect. Do NOT force yourself to be happy because then happiness will become worthLESS in times where you actually need to be happy even with yourself. I should’ve NOT listened to your dad when he said so. Be ok with things happening in your life and try to positively solve some problems if you can but leave “happiness” out of it. Because this sentence which I though it was “perfect statement” at the age 12/13 threw my life over the edge. I’m almost 21 and still trying to recover. Don’t listen to life sugar coaters please. Also, I always find you imagining unbelievable things, be careful it’ll take away you’re time and you’ll age and find out you lived your whole life through imagination. 🙏🏻❤️

[@HappyGilmore924]

Amen

[@Hannah-gn3vg]

Oh jeez..lol people your age and blaming.

[@MAHA-aaaaaa]

@@Hannah-gn3vg I wasn’t blaming. Read it again, I’m trying to correct ideas and words so others wouldn’t fall into the same mistakes. Even if I was blaming I have the right to. WHY? because when I was a teenager, adults showed me wrong ideas and I’m trying to relearn everything. Oh and btw… don’t think that I’m a hater I’m not. I had a fan account for them on ig and X. I just don’t like how they taught me something that’s not true.

[@KevinRay4083]

When you're poor & worried about paying your rent every month, buying groceries every month, making your car payment every month, then you can preach to me about being happy!!!

[@bnnyrabbit]

Agreed. It’s annoying being preached to by internet influencers who get to sit poolside and hardly work. This is not reality for 99.9% of people and it’s unreal the audacity some people have like Avia. Very privileged girl

[@S_J_banana]

Fr

[@ChloelWolfe]

You can still choose whether to be happy or not. I’m a mom of four under five with a blue collar husband who is gone for work most of the week. Groceries kill our bank account and then we still have our mortgage, a car payment, diapers, formula, and utilities… it’s so stressful. But I still chose to be happy because I want that sliver of good to weigh more than the stress of finances and other struggles.

[@colleenhickey1]

Coming from someone who didn’t grow up rich by any means but was “raised” by shaycarl (Ava’s dad) I’m not an influencer or anything like that but I will say having the mindset of being happy with what your handed is kinda what she’s getting at. She doesn’t live a perfect life. She feels emotions too. But she chooses to make the best of every situation instead of committing hate on the people who do…. I hope you have the day you deserve though babe.

[@hitmanb33b3]

toxic positivity and privileged individual example 1A: THIS VID

[@londonunderground790]

Oof this sounds like the comment of a girl with a father who lucked into wealth through personality and has a huge safety net to fall back on. I think no one should take advice from someone who has barely lived. Truly though, authentic happiness is fleeting, strive to be content.

[@Devin_Copeland]

So many weak minded people in this comment section, i am in lower middle class struggling paycheck to paycheck with anxiety of whats to come in the future. I still am happy and grateful with the life that i live. You guys need to put this video on repeat and hear whats shes saying

[@Devin_Copeland]

I've had the WORST shit happen to me in my life don't even get me started, trust me it still goes on but guess what am I sad? NO BECAUSE I CHOOSETO BE HAPPY

[@tdian]

@@Devin_Copeland Amen I 1000% agree with you! People need to chill why are people take it so seriously. What is wrong with someone spreading joy and a positive mindset. Everyone has been through shiz and trauma.. including Avia. If they think she hasn't thats ignorant in itself. It speaks volumes on a person to see some light in a day rather than people commenting negative energy into this video that clearly had nothing but good intent. Crazy

[@Devin_Copeland]

@@tdian love this

[@elizablack5123]

You did not eat w this one…

[@erosophic]

Every single influencer I have ever seen tout this infallible idea that happiness is a choice we make has always come around and showed the reality at one point or another. No one is always happy. No one has an easy life. Everyone, to some degree, is struggling, and these videos usually come out of desperation to prove something or desperation to 'appear' happy. Ever heard the song Girl On The Internet by Knox? I recommend listening to it, because it screams the reality of a lot of these types of videos. Avia, as someone who grew up watching your dad's videos and someone who truly wants the best for you, it's okay to not always be happy. It's okay to feel everything. Sadness, anger, depression, anxiety. Face them. Don't run from them, or you'll be running your whole life. Feel sadness, understand why you're sad, and then work to unravel the situations in which the sadness is rooted in. I've had major depression since I was a child. I have always fought for everything, even something as simple as getting out of bed, brushing my teeth, washing my hair. I would cry when I had to eat because 'I didn't feel like it.' I learned to exist within my pain and without it, and I chose to fight, not to be happy. Happiness is just a byproduct of good things. Being fine is fine. Being sad or angry isn't wrong. I genuinely wish for the best for you, girl.

[@quicksilver455]

this is so true and exactly what is taught in buddhism. to observe your feelings and dont fight them. observe your feelings and find the root cause

[@lakenj]

This will probably get deleted but this is what your dad spouted all those years he was cheating on your mom! Guess it works if you have money. Yes, happiness is a choice but its a lot harder to remain positive when youre wondering how youre gonna pay next months rent or your next meal.

[@Layanchick]

This video should be about how you started earring money in detail which is what is making you happy lol

[@Layanchick]

Earning*

[@erinaly213]

I get what you were trying to say, and you’re young so it’s understandable. But you’ve never actually experienced what living in the real world is like. Living the “influencer” life is not the reality for 99% of the population. Unfortunately living paycheque to paycheque is the reality for most while they work a 9-5 (sometimes more). Not saying the message you’re trying to say is bad but it’s extremely naive of you. You live an extremely privileged life which isn’t the reality for the people who have to work their butts off everyday. Choosing to be grateful , choosing to try to be positive would have been a better message.

[@l3slje]

See I love her videos but as a poc, everytime she speaks about stuff like this all I can think about is how privileged she is and how she doesn’t even realize it. She doesn’t realize that her having her own apartment and “working” to pay her own bills is not the same as the average person doing it. Most days I don’t even eat dinner after I get home from work because I’m way too exhausted to cook after being on my feet for 8+ hours. I work five days a week and get home around 5 pm and sleep at 9pm. There’s just no time for anything. That doesn’t just go away by “changing my mindset”. The average person realistically doesn’t have the time or energy to focus on their mental health like that 😭

[@jessicalatine703]

Honesty I love you I love sitting and listening to you talk to us like this, it’s the little things in life that can make you happy and change you day and I love that you notice them and appreciate them 🩷

[@kingterry2020]

At the end of the day, life is made up of our moods so if we can chose to be happy then definitely do that! It’s hard to speak for everyone of course, there is no one size fits all but Avia is simply talking from her experience and what works for her so there is no need for people to invalidate her. I personally appreciated hearing her outlook, I think it’s beautiful. I am also truly so happy that she is having these realisations about life and finding ways to be happy. People can be so bitter Avia, keep your head up x

[@lindseym1654]

this is so incredibly out of touch

[@juicyjessica2298]

is it not relatable because you aren’t capable of being happy?

[@100akerwoods]

Avia you are such an amazing younge girl and I appreciate you taking to time to talk to us about how important it is to be grateful for what we do have . Happiness is not always a choice, and that’s just something you learn as you grow older ❤

[@vivianf9930]

As someone who has struggled a lot throughout high school and college so far with depression and anxiety, intentionally focusing on mindfulness, the present, and gratitude is important to me. The way I see it, I don't think the point here is that having a "happy" or grateful mindset is a replacement or better than therapy, meds, or any kind of psychiatric healthcare-they go hand and hand, and this is focusing on one side of it. In therapy I've focused a lot on mindfulness and gratitude in order to love little moments in life, even when life overall is a lot, or hard at the time. To me Avia's channel and content embody this mindset and help me learn to practice that.

[@Rileyhaines123]

Love these videos. Feels like I’m getting to know you. You are very wise. It obviously runs in the family!

[@dannydanny9875]

I'm glad you are following your Dad's positive footsteps of positivity 🙂

[@caitlinjamie1573]

Hello for Maine, USA! Avia these advice videos are amazing, Thank you for sharing. I just applied to my dream job, and I have been struggling with the rat race. You are a motivator! YOU GO GIRL!!!! I KNOW that if I do not get the job at least I tried and I still have so much to be grateful for!

[@viabriellaa]

i love the positive intention here, the way you are trying to persuade this has zero bad intention behind it like people are making it sound. i do understand where people are coming from, sometimes happiness isn't a choice-- but it can be. i do think that one comment, that said "gratitude is a choice" is a way better way of words that can apply to everyone. you're a very wise person avia, and i think what you're saying is so important and has so much meaning, and i think saying "happiness is a choice" shadowed what could've been such a beautiful and poetic way of words. i'm sorry a lot of people are choosing to see the negatives out of such a simple and positive attitude and intention.

[@fullofheba]

thank you for this avia!!💞

[@whimserygaming3220]

Happiness is not something you need to feel. It's a reaction to pleasure or contentment. If youre sad, it's for a reason. Do not lie to yourself, it causes delusion which leads to more lies.

[@almastern2481]

I love you Avia! You fill my heart with inspiration and joy. Keep being YOU 💗💜💙💚💛

[@pinkylittleme]

Oh Avia...

[@chachaluv7]

I grew up watching your dad and applying his wisdom into my everyday life. I’d think “what would Shay do?” And I still think abt his nuggets of wisdom! But now I catch myself thinking “what would Avia do?” Because the way you guys think abt the world is so precious. Rn I’m 30 and living w my dying mom and grandma… I’m jobless cause my job did me so wrong I had to leave… I have health problems that my health insurance won’t help me with… I’m in the middle of a breakup… I have SO many unhappy things going on rn but I try to think happy. I try so hard some days. I go on a walk and enjoy the trees and the breeze. I enjoy the love of my pets. I enjoy a sweet treat. It rlly is the little things that get you thru the bad times. Cuz the big things, like a fun trip or an expensive purse, are just extra joys you get to have. The little things are what’s always there ❤

[@francovey7548]

When i read your title, i remembered the blue and yellow painting in your Dads office..enjoy the little things

[@Sky-JerkinItToAvia]

I've always liked rain too, its my favorite weather. I like the way the sky looks, the sounds, the feel in the air during and after. I like bright weather but also gloomy weather. I am very artistic and love anything art, but gloomy weather makes me feel more calm, in my element and creative. I like night time city scenery as well, for some reason I think its the most beautiful scenery. Maybe my love for dark/gloomy scenery came from me playing games like Silent Hill. They are scary games but the story, characters, art and music made me appreciate the dark and gloomy art and see the beauty in it.

[@sadie4me2]

Tell us what you have been up to regarding your career and is KZbin your sole career? If not, what else are you doing? I think you did mention that you’re taking acting classes, what else have you been up to?

[@jasmineelsadanyy3806]

your videos make me happy

[@reemffs]

I don’t get the negativity Human awareness is so powerful, if you want a red car you’ll start seeing red cars everywhere, if you tell yourself life sucks life will actually suck. You can always be grateful no matter what situation you’re in

[@littleladyb2k]

Let’s try to illuminate the language of “kids haven’t lived life yet” because they are actively living. Avia is beyond blessed and privileged yes, so her life is a lot easier than most, but it’s still a life. People are also blinded by the families wealth, y’all can’t honestly think that Shay’s addiction and struggles with mental health didn’t effect the children in the family, that’s a hard thing to go through as a family regardless of how much wealth and privilege they have, everyone’s life is different with different hardships, and choosing to be positive is sometimes the only way we as humans can survive.

[@brendaramirez8999]

i understand what avia is trying to say and i also understand the comments critiquing her. yes, she is privileged but it is also all she has ever known so you can't really blame her for not being able to see how someone's life is different than her own. she was trying to do something good with this video so instead of all the comments being rude everyone can explain their thoughts more gently so she can turn this into a learning experience. I grew up watching the shaytards because i'm an orphan and family vloggers like them allowed me a glimpse into what a family is like. i heard shay constantly saying "happiness is a choice" and tried to introduce that mindset into my life before i realized it was toxic positivity. i know inside out is a kids movie but i believe everyone can learn from that movie. it is okay to not be happy all the time. if something awful happens it's okay to acknowledge how hard it is and allow yourself to feel the pain from that experience. its also okay to not be happy even if nothing particularly hard is going on at that time. it's important to sit with your true feelings to fully understand what is going on in your life. avia has talked a lot about how she feels the need to appear perfect and put together all the time and it probably is partially due to growing up in a household where she is told to be happy all the time. i think we can all learn something from each other because not one person is the same, not one person has lived the same life, not one person is you. talk to each other kindly because kindness is a choice. this comment is really long so i don't know if avia or anyone will read it but if you are hi lol

[@Amipalovestwilight]

I totally agree!

[@libbybudge7488]

Your mom and dad are so proud of you.

[@MissSerendipity22]

Not me, disabled living off $500 a month, barely affording groceries and necessities like shampoo, soap, detergent Being told by Avia who’s parents are multi millionaires that we need to stop worrying about stuff and choose to be happy. When you don’t have to worry about how your bills are going to get paid or if you’re going to have enough food for the month really makes life difficult. I do have happy moments but again, I’m disabled and have to survive off $500 a month in the United States. 😐 This video didn’t hit as she’d hoped. Privileged white girl who has no idea what life is like for the rest of the world who aren’t millionaires.

[@kendranormann]

avia your so positive i wish i was you your amazing ❤❤

[@therealpusheen]

Let this be a learning experience. Go through the comments and just read. I understand you’ve lived a privileged life and that you’re living your dream. Don’t let it make you delusional to other struggles out there because that’s how people become blindsided. You’re so young too and I know you’re just trying to be positive. Do you think those kids in Gaza can choose to be happy Avía? What about homeless people in the U.S? What about the children in the Congo? How can you look at all of these horrible situations and still say that you can choose happiness? To even make it personal, I know you know what happened with your parents. I won’t go into detail but what your dad did didn’t make your mom happy. Do you think she could choose to be happy at that time knowing what your dad did? It’s time to really take a look at the whole picture and rethink your life.

[@kayleeheiser128]

Love your videos!

[@mashinwmeg]

wow. some of these comments are crazy. If you go back to her dad's vlog, on the shaytards, he always preaches about "happiness is a choice". That phrase is not meant to be anyway to take away from the hard times in life, that people go thru. Avia is fortunate enough to have "inherited" the ability to have youtube as her job, since she grew up in a family vlog channel. she's not bragging in any way shape or form, and make it seem like everyone's life should be rainbow's and butterflies. The phrase "happiness is a choice" is NO MATTER what situation you're in, try to look at the positive things about it. I tend to try and do this a lot, and have gratitude. This has made my life so much better. im sure avia does struggle, but obviously she won't show that on camera 24/7, because she does have a private life as well. Everyone needs to try to look at the positive of things sometime. Happiness is a choice. Love you Av's, not sure if you'll see this, but keep doing what youre doing

[@Jenny_Pham]

Right?!?! I think she should pin your comment tbh since it seems like lots of miscommunication is going on in the comments. It’s literally her telling us to look on the bright side of things no matter how bad things could get, there’s got to be at least 1 good thing in this world for you to be thankful for.

[@mashinwmeg]

@@Jenny_Pham It would be crazy if she pinned my comment lol Exactly. No matter what is going on around you, or in your life, everyone needs to try to find 1 positive thing about the current situation. Happiness is a choice.

[@ShinyEvergreens]

I understand the message you are sending and I do agree to some extent that we have power over our mindset and how we choose to view things in life, but I feel like with most things it’s not that black and white and should come with some disclaimers. Especially coming from someone with a lot of privilege, you should acknowledge this if you are going to spread this type of message. I know that you have worked for what you have, but you did have a leg up from most people because of the family and wealth you grew up in. Not having to worry about how you’re going to buy groceries or pay your rent makes it a lot easier to be able to choose happiness. You always say you’re the luckiest girl in the world. It’s not just luck, it’s privilege. And it’s ok to name that.

[@mkslatte41]

So inspiring ❤Avia

[@lorisalomons8882]

Honestly I subscribed to her a long time ago never watched any videos when I saw this title I had to go to comments and I’m so pleased with what I see. You have never in your life had to worry about not having enough food or heat to survive how could you say that?

[@greenk1994]

Clearly you never watched shaytards at the start, they were definitely struggling financially when the kids were little and made something of themselves.

[@ayannamyaa]

ugh vlog for as long as you can I never wanna stop watching

[@Bloggerspot-dw8qs]

Your mannerisms are so much like your beautiful mom!

[@viabriellaa]

also i'd like to point out to people that saying she has never been "anxious or depressed" clearly (gosh i'm so sorry to bring this up) don't recall what happened between her parents and her fathers addiction (which he overcame, and is thriving because of this mindset). that is unfair af. just because she IS privileged doesn't mean she doesn't deal with things that so do many people deal with.

[@TheLipSchmucker]

guys she's only 18(?) go easy on her! i think her main point is that happiness doesn't have to be a big thing - getting your dream job or going on your dream vacation. but being happy could also mean being grateful for the small things. struggling in your minimum wage job sucks yea, but watching the sunrise on the way to work makes you feel grateful and happy even for just a bit. everyone has their own struggles - some more than others - but that doesn't mean that you can't take some time out of your life to appreciate the small things that are going for you (being healthy, being alive, having kindness shown to you by strangers)

[@CruelQuertos]

She needs a reality check or she's just gonna end up being like every other spoiled celebrity brat in Hollywood

[@maddielee1109]

girl idk how you do it, posting what i'm sure felt like an innocuous or even positive video only to have everyone in these comments come for ur throat! i hope you're taking care of yourself after this huge transition in your life! beach time has gotta count for self care lol

[@yrsabellas965]

I was looking for a new video and you popped up .. yaya

[@maddyslife04]

Girl I’ve been watching you for years. And you should totally start a podcast I think you would do great at it.

[@YourSolarEyes86]

I remember your dad making a video with this exact title. I watched it when it came out. I want to slightly defend you against some of the comments. I really ally think that mindset, including radical acceptance of problems can make a huge impression on life and a person's resiliency. It's also true that mental illness can absolutely stop a person from being happy no matter what they attempt to choose, because if you could think away a psychiatric condition, it wouldn't be an illness, just a bad habit.

[@brandondowlen1836]

Great video! ❤

[@MyJourneyToBeSeizureFree]

I really needed to hear this. Thank you Avia! 💕