Hardware Wars: The Original Star Wars Parody | 1978

[@darrenpaches3731]

It's good too see The Cookie Monster had other acting gigs.

[@zimriel]

if he'd been the Cokie Monster you know Leia would have had no time for anyone else

[@NelsonZAPTM]

Is he out of rehab for his addiction to cookie dough?

[@jmjones7897]

Wookie Monster. They're first cousins

[@tjmproductions6358]

Yeah I don’t like they he wore brown face though. Didn’t age well

[@mangrove]

Ernie Fosselius, the director, went on to work on Return of the Jedi. He helped write "Lapti Nek" with Toto's Joseph Williams (son of legend John Williams), and dubbed the Rancor keeper's crying. Lucas said that Hardware Wars is his favorite Star Wars parody.

[@mousetreehouse6833]

There are other Star Wars parodies?

[@stephenh5944]

@@mousetreehouse6833 Family Guy and Robot Chicken have a bunch.

[@sleepyhollow783]

​@@mousetreehouse6833Mel Brooks': SPACEBALLS

[@JamieJobb]

He also worked on "Nick Starbuck and the Human Race With Outer Space" which was filmed at Amazing Life Games in Sausalito -- long before George made his "cruising movie". So Ernie ripped off the idea from us.

[@JamieJobb]

Also this home movie -- "Babyman Three" from the same time: kzbin.info/www/bejne/gJ-3nX9_oMZjm9Usi=P8sm-i6G6vV2ZU9T

[@RICOFRITO]

This short was filmed in 16mm film. The lazer shots where actually scratched on the physical film with a needle. They used double exposure for certain scenes. Lots of cool old school special effects. love it!

[@thomasrysdam1142]

Quentin Tarantino’s podcast has taught you well

[@RICOFRITO]

@@thomasrysdam1142 He has a podcast? I never knew! I have to check it out thanks. I learned these from doing it myself with old film stock and reading interviews and behind the scenes techniques from old film maker magazines back in the day. I myself owned a Super 8 camera and also used a 16mm one as well.

[@DiecastD414]

I totally missed this home movie. I was very young when I saw this. I like the end punchline, "you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss 3 bucks good bye 🤣"

[@ryanbarker5217]

i used that joke irl thursday at work. i'm surprised it took the smart phones constantly spying on us this long to make the connection and recommend this.

[@radioactive9861]

Personally, I liked the 'Filmed on location in space'...LOL

[@jimmyboy131]

I still say this occasionally, LOL. Even after all this time this is still fresh in my memories.

[@DaDitka]

Might be my favorite line in this film!

[@RedwoodTheElf]

It certainly dates the parody, doesn't it? Now you're lucky if it's just 20 bucks.

[@cliffhamrickwrites2378]

They used to play this all the time on HBO. We laughed our asses off every time it came on.

[@TheBFN]

Did u smoke 1 first 😂😂😂...of course u did

[@jerryrichardson2799]

I saw it a long time ago on HBO.

[@FIDreams]

That and 'Bambi verses Godzilla' XD

[@FIDreams]

And some weird cartoon about two sister.

[@DavidLS1]

I was wondering where I might have seen it. There was no internet back then.

[@meeeoooow]

Forgot about this. What a nostalgia trip. Can't remember where we saw this as kids, but all the kids talked about this back in the day. Ham Salad, lol

[@davidbrown2098]

Sure this is not new!.

[@davidbrown2098]

No way?!. 🎉

[@TimmyLongfellow]

It was on HBO. I remember this.

[@mikeydeloa7348]

Did you ever have Showtime, movie channel? That is where we saw it when I was a kid.

[@darylabrams2]

I remember seeing this as a kid. It was on HBO and they'd play it between films and such. George Lucas even loved it.

[@PapagenoMF]

I was nine years old when I saw this on a projector in my local library in 1979. Absolutely obsessed.

[@hulksmash1357]

I'd think you were in Jacksonville Florida. I saw it at a library also at that time.

[@keepthemetalflowing]

I remember seeing this in the 80's on cable and man I loved it. So glad someone uploaded it!

[@MadHax-wt5tl]

This will never stop being funny, can't say how happy I am to see it again. If only the sequel trilogy was this good!!?!

[@hamsterdiving7593]

*OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M WATCHING THIS AGAIN AFTER 45 YEARS. THANKS FOR POSTING!*

[@craigsavarese8631]

“You’ll kiss three bucks goodbye.” Ah, the good ol’ days. Except back then we went for the $1 matinee showing.

[@RobSchellinger]

I was thinking that you can't even leave the house for 3 bucks anymore.

[@BThings]

"Hardware Wars"…Now, that's a name I've not heard in a loooong time…a long time.

[@genisvel]

Paul Frees did an amazing Orson Wells impersonation as the narrator.

[@peterg76yt]

The special effects hold up pretty good.

[@nunya2514]

"Take it easy kid, it's only a movie." Officially, my new life motto and response for every question....

[@paulsmodels]

This is better than lots of the junk you see on Netflix.

[@em23]

100 percent

[@MadHax-wt5tl]

Bit of a low bar to clear though.

[@jjeshop]

Nope. It's clearly not.

[@bluebird3281]

@@jjeshopWhat do you work there?

[@zerogrey3798]

@@jjeshop Yep. It clearly is.

[@kalvinravn8431]

Yep all the kids in school back in the day were talking about this! Think it was on HBO. I never saw it before but I’m glad I lived long enough to watch it! Thank you!

[@rogermurph101]

I saw this in fifth grade back in ‘79. The teacher didn’t tell us what it was. He just threw it on the movie projector and let it play. The whole room lost it when Ham Salad said “You bet your asteroids!”

[@seanryan3020]

How the hell did your teacher get that? Especially in the 70s?

[@rogermurph101]

@@seanryan3020 no clue. He was a great teacher, and funny. He got the office to play “Lovin, touchin, squeezin” by Journey over the intercom for a couple students who were “dating”, whatever that meant in fifth grade. Embarrassed the hell out of both of them, but even they thought it was hilarious. I never knew it aired on HBO until I read these comments. I assumed he got from wherever teachers got all their movies from.

[@RobinDale50]

@@rogermurph101 We saw this in school as well. Would have been around that time. I had no idea there was anything like this, and for years after people wouldn't believe me when I told them about this. Hilarious send-up and one of the instigators of what would become my appreciation and understanding of satire.

[@SpreadingtheMuse]

@@seanryan3020 Back then movies like this were advertised in catalogs. Just browse and check the box of the ones you wanted. That's how we saw other great shows like Caser Romero's "The Haunted Mouth."

[@bmbiz]

@@RobinDale50 I assume the buck naked woman was edited out of that cut...

[@_Briegel]

Seeing this now for the first time and laughing my almost 70 year old ass off. Definitely better than anything Disney has done with Star Wars!

[@guest6398]

I saw this forty years ago! What a blast from the past.

[@manofthetombs]

Found this on a VHS tape in the Blockbuster in Buena Park, California in the late 70s. The tape also had a 2nd, equally brilliant parody movie of Apocalypse now called "Porklips Now" created & produced by the same Ernie Fosselius. These two parodies remain in my memory to this very day. Mr. Fosselius deserves much credit for these works of art.

[@nunya2514]

Pork lips was awesome! Did it have Closet Cases of the Nerd kind?

[@nunya2514]

"Bambi meets Godzilla?"

[@nunya2514]

My siblings and I could do these verbatim!

[@manofthetombs]

@@nunya2514 That would be wild! lol!

[@armybeef68]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/jJ22k6R5h8ysqKs

[@justins21482]

I still have this movie on VHS packed away with all my other star wars things from childhood. This movie is hands down one of the funniest things you could possibly see for me at 11yrs old back then.

[@garysatterlee9455]

It's wonderful to hear Paul Frees' narration!

[@KenLieck]

That's right,-- it is him, isn't it? I always forget because of "Closet Cases of the Nerd Kind" with its brilliant fake Hans Conreid narration: kzbin.info/www/bejne/rKCtZ2CKrtNjetEsi=gnwTvDQQriA-IVhJ

[@soylentteal]

I’ve loved this and “Closet Cases” since the 70s, but CC noses HW out for laugh-out-loud hilarity.

[@ogrelogre8429]

How did I miss this over all these years? This is great. The Wookie Monster! 🤣

[@boblobla1611]

I remember checking this out from the library on VHS. The tape also included Bambi VS Godzilla and Porklips Now, an Apocalypse Now parody. Good times!

[@raydunakin]

I just realized that the narrator is the same guy who did narration on the old Rocky and Bullwinkle show.

[@michaelwilson2340]

Saw this in my fourth grade class in 1979 on a good old fashioned film projector. Everyone in my class loved it.

[@lancerevell5979]

"BWAHAHAHAHA...!" I've long heard of this, but only now have watched it. Pretty good satire! 😂

[@SoloPilot6]

Saw this at various science fiction conventions. You haven't lived until you've been in a crowd of hundreds, all intoning "You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss three bucks goodbye!"

[@jukkasavolainen5620]

Never seen this before, and now I'm wiping my screen clean of coffee...

[@armybeef68]

2:25 The person leaving the beach was freakin' hilarious, 3:08 Not to mention Speed Buggy, Sound effects and everything....lol 3:15

[@doug2424]

Better story, better special effects, better movie. This one should win a parody oscar.

[@vandalorianvandalorian4769]

I’m 59 now. Great memories from the late 70’s!

[@alfinpogform4774]

And so after 45 years I find closure. In 1978 some school friends were describing this to me after seeing it as a short at the cinema - I was so sad that I had missed seeing it. Though I think I would have thought it was a lot funnier back then as a 12 year old than I do now.....

[@number9434]

Ha. I remember when this came out. My library had the actors come and do a panel. That scene with the little Chewbacca chewing on Leia's cinnamon bun hair do had me rolling as a kid.

[@Lori-lp6uc]

That's one of my favorite parts😂😂😂 And when Han says to Leia, "Well EXCUUUSE ME"😂😂😂

[@skyradtvcomics4981]

CLASSIC! I remember this when I was High School. My biggest laugh was Chewchilla the Wookie Monster.

[@soylentteal]

I saw it repeatedly at sci-fi conventions in the late 70s and early 80s. It became a tradition for the entire audience to shout “YOU’LL LAUGH! YOU’LL CRY! YOU’LL KISS THREE BUCKS GOODBYE!” Those were the days. Now *I'm* a venerable leader of the Redeye Knights.

[@JoseyWales44s]

Truly a classic, narrated by the great Paul Freese and much better "Star Wars" than anything Disney has ever produced.

[@lesweizman388]

even better than space balls

[@N.G.S._01]

Well with the exception of “The Mandalorian”.

[@aytviewer2421]

except for Rouge One

[@Zapski]

Andor.

[@barfo281]

George Lucas ruined Star Wars long before he sold it to Disney.

[@desimonevd]

I’ve been saying “You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll kiss three bucks goodbye,” since forever. Now I remember where I got it from!

[@gertvanhauwaert2552]

Ham solo looked like mr bean as a hippie 😂

[@CatStanleySpaceDemon]

Best line, "No, just a little headache."😂

[@darrenheideman2546]

Second best line, "You pull the plug."

[@MV1890HHT]

My 2nd grade teacher showed this to us in class. Haven't seen it since (until now) but it always stuck with me. Thank you so much for posting this and allowing me to recapture this thirteen minutes of my childhood!

[@ChazSmithProductions]

Did your teacher even show you the naked lady shot?

[@mikekolokowsky]

2:28 Impeccable production values. “There’s a set worker on camera.” “Do we have to pay him as an extra?” “Extras make less than set workers.” “Leave it in, he’s an extra now.”

[@arcanondrum6543]

Good one. That's a woman however.

[@stebaer]

Watching this feature always returns memories of when I first saw it on HBO and even beyond that first time too.

[@amiejohnston2842]

“Does this thing do light speed?” “You bet your asteroid kid.”

[@WaterShowsProd]

It still holds up. It's amazing how accurate it was to the source considering there wasn't direct access to the movie like we have now, other than repeatedly going to the cinema. I never realised Paul Frees narrated it. I was shocked as soon as I heard his voice. That lends cache to any production.

[@danbreland3444]

So awesome to see this again! They used to play this on family nights at the Navy Base club house. We kids used to laugh so hard watching this. Thanks for sharing it.

[@douglasrose4188]

I remember this from my childhood. Funny. Still better than most of the syfi channels original movies and Disney sequels. Lol😅

[@thomasbentley4757]

The cheesiest crapfest that SYFY put out was way better than the Star Wars prequels and sequels. Lucas should have kept the franchise.

[@bmbiz]

@@thomasbentley4757 Wait, didn't Lucas do the prequels, too?

[@thomasbentley4757]

@@bmbiz Unfortunately for us he did.

[@bmbiz]

@@thomasbentley4757 Oh, then I'm missing your meaning when you say Lucas should have kept the franchise.

[@thomasbentley4757]

@@bmbiz He should have kept just the original trilogy.

[@jamespuleo3269]

3:14 AM, 12- 04-23. Thanks for posting !! FIRST TIME I've ever seen this ~~~ even tho I was 20 y.o. when it came out, and I'm 65 now.. Nice job, loved the tin woodsman costume, and PAUL FREES RULES !!

[@crescentmoon6029]

What a great memory! Thanks for bringing it back 😆

[@tenaatv]

Our pleasure!

[@eddieharris3150]

Where the hell did you dig this up. It's so awesome that someone got ahold of this and put this out. I used to watch this all the time and laugh my butt off. This and that close encounters one, whatever it was called, Close Encounters Of The Nerd Kind maybe.

[@hagerty1952]

I watched the premier of this brilliant little film on "Creature Features" with Bob Wilkins back in 1976 on KTVU. Wilkins had Fosselius on as a recurring guest whenever he had one of his parodies ready to release on the world. The only other one I can remember right now is "Taxi-dermist" (a parody of Taxi Driver) where a guy is driving around in a cab with his stuffed animals.

[@rcnelson]

Oh my. I watched this at the student union between classes and darn near peed my pants laughing. It's still funny even with the nostalgia thrown in now in my old age. Three dollars for a movie at the theater!

[@sproctor1958]

When one of our local video rental stores closed (20+ years ago), I bought a few old tapes... one, mislabeled, contained a decent copy of this parody. I still have it, and I even still have a VCR to occasionally play it on.

[@scottalong88]

Watched this in elementry school. The teacher brought in a film projector, we helped load it and then 13 minutes of dark bliss without the teacher! Did not remember the quick nude during the "briefing"! The teacher must have freaked without saying anything!

[@Adam-kx9gi]

maybe edited out or something?? first time i saw it was on HBO and cant remember it.

[@oyeahtoys]

1978 in 3rd grade, end of school year, St Louis, 8 years old, they showed our whole elementary school this. Deep imprint, cant believe they had that fight club subliminal nude. Way to break the fourth wall.

[@FowlerJones]

Ernie Fosselius' wikipedia page mentioned he created an updated version in 2002 with additional material. I'll bet this copy is that version.

[@yarnbomber2166]

This is the origin of the Flying Toaster!

[@marcbergeron1750]

Haven't seen this in decades. 'Take it easy kid, it's only a movie' 😆 and may the Farce be with you!

[@jackfriend4u]

love it when Ham Salad does Steve Martin's "Excuuuuuse me!"

[@ElCharlieK14]

The Wookie Monster did it for me 🤣🤣

[@misterfischer2177]

I don't think I've seen this before. I love it👍

[@fuego09esmeralda]

The special defects of this movie were ahead of their time...

[@rickholland6695]

I graduated high school in 1978. I remember seeing this on rental VHS and it was on cable TV as well. It was so funny. This was a great trip down memory lane.

[@docmach8794]

This came out on video in the early 80's with a bunch of other shorts. Godzilla vs Bambi was hilarious.

[@sweetjoey2]

I REMEMBER godzilla vs bambi and shockingly there was a sequel to godzilla vs bambi where bambi moves and kicks godzilla.

[@treystephens6166]

@@sweetjoey2by Marv Newland ???

[@dosbaggos5575]

And the apocalypse now parody. With kazoos. Rented the VHS at tower records

[@docmach8794]

@@dosbaggos5575 "Pork Lips Now", a butchers parody. Motor scooters with the girls sitting on their helmets... Didn't Cheech and Chong narrate it? I think it was called "It came from Hollywood".

[@docmach8794]

@@dosbaggos5575 Nope... I looked it up on KZbin and it wasn't "It came from Hollywood".

[@davidcottrell1308]

Love this...I own it....BRILLIANT!

[@kermitefrog64]

Space Balls ahead of its time.

[@civilizedworm666]

I remember having to watch this in grade school during class and here I am full circle watching it again at age 46. I think it's fantastic that 130,000 other magnificent people have watched this alongside me since this was posted

[@halwasserman7905]

Oh the memories. Who can forget Ham Salad? Infinitely superior to Spaceballs and yet this was still a very long 12 minutes.

[@nettiegurl]

'You'll kiss three-bucks goodbye' .... BEST epic epilogue ever

[@gavinholt5428]

I saw this when I was 10 in film class at primary school ('81). So funny. I recently found it on DVD and got to share it with my kids. 😃

[@dvolonino]

First seen this in late 1979. Used to run on early HBO cable quite a bit. I've used the line, "You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss 3 bucks goodbye," eversince. As well as some others, and no one has ever gotten it.

[@williamcrowe2576]

I only vaguely remember this from my childhood. Way better than the Holiday Special.

[@patriciayoung3267]

Anything was better than the Holiday Special. LOL

[@AlldatJazz-rw9wy]

The Ewoks movie was better than the special..😂

[@williamcrowe2576]

@@AlldatJazz-rw9wy Which one?

[@soulchorea]

I remember seeing this in the theater in 1979. This originally wouldn't play on our current system because the newer technology wasn't compatible, but in '79 our town just had received an upgrade like 2 weeks after release and eventually we got it to play! Definitely a core memory and I'm glad to have been a child of that era; it just wasn't the same after that

[@ThreeToesofFury]

if you were a nerdy kid in the 70s, Star Wars was likely life changing AND you adored this short. Its hard to put in context but parody wasnt really that big a thing at the time. Oh sure you had Mad Magazine and some sketch parody here and there but it wasnt widespread. This short was (and is) such a wonderfully silly piece of time. thanks for posting!!!!

[@zeeej710]

😂 this is so gloriously silly. I can't believe I'm 37 and only seeing this now as a life-long star wars fan

[@tenaatv]

It is silly! We're glad you found it :)

[@tintindb]

This appeared on HBO. They used to have these shorts between the main features!

[@douglasdixon524]

This and several others. I loved watching these on HBO in the early 1980s. I still have this on VHS.

[@tintindb]

@@douglasdixon524 They also loved stuff from the Canadian film board. I still love the one called Is there life on earth.

[@FLStelth]

I haven't seen this since I was a kid! This beats all the Star Wars made after 1980! I didn't realize Paul Frees was the narrator.

[@censorshipsucks9493]

Paul Frees was one of the greatest voice actors on the planet.

[@WaterShowsProd]

As a voice actor I wholeheartedly agree. @@censorshipsucks9493

[@prakaklef]

Yes! What a blast from the past. Classic parody from the early days of cable TV, the kind of thing they used to show between movies before home video and then streaming took over and the cable channels had to start creating their own content. The space between "Our Feature Presentation"s is where music videos found their first home before MTV. The voice of narrator Paul Freez will sound familiar to anybody who watched cartoons back in the day. Every once in a while I'll think of one of those cool shorts and google it. Who remembers Cockaboody? I'm watching that next😃

[@DougVanDorn]

In my peer group at the time, it was also popular to say to someone "OK, suit yourself, ya martyr!"

[@scottthomas3792]

I saw this as a teenager in the '70s at a local independent theater that would show student films before the main feature sometimes... The audience, mostly college students, clapped, stomped, and demanded to see it again....

[@dog4mike]

I totally didn't get "Artie Deco" back in the day.

[@dmrr7739]

There’s another one, a spoof of Close Encounters. All I remember is the mailboxes are shaking like in the movie, then they start singing like a barbershop quartet.

[@seanryan3020]

"Closet Cases of the Nerd Kind"

[@KirkOrion666]

Saw this when i was 4 originally. We where poor so, going to the drive-in or movie theater was a rarity. Every cool kid in kindergarden was talkin about StarWars. Having seen this parody, i thought i was in the know... 😮‍💨

[@mysticwolf75]

What a blast from the past! I remember when they showed this at our local library when I was a kid. They used to have a movie day, and they'd show a short movie like this (on projector and screen!) I remember seeing this, and a behind the scenes short about Raiders of the Lost Ark. They showed full length movies sometimes, too - I distinctly remember seeing "The Amazing Cosmic Awareness of Duffy Moon", which starred the boy from "Escape to Witch Mountain". Such good times! 🙂

[@emilflognoid1532]

Dude me too! Did you live in Mount lake Terrace Washington out side of Seattle???

[@mysticwolf75]

@@emilflognoid1532 No, I'm way on the opposite side of the country in upstate NY. I guess they had similar programs at other libraries!

[@Dilligff]

@@mysticwolf75 They did. I saw this in the Hermosa Beach library as a kid in a similar program. Until now, I thought it had been a bit of a unique experience, but now I'm thinking it was part of a nationwide project to get kids in a room full of books that wasn't either a school or their grandfather's study. It worked. I became something of a bibliophile over the next few decades.

[@MarcillaSmith]

No cap, I saw this at the Orlando Public Library as a kid, so that now completes all four corners of the USA! (Other locations still encouraged to chime in, as well)

[@mysticwolf75]

@@Dilligff Must have worked on me, too. I'm still a bibliophile. Also, what you said about your grandfather's study - my grandfather's study was full of books! He had hardcover copies of all the classics. I really wish we would have kept them all.

[@AJStone-eb7hb]

I saw this for the first time in 1980. I was in 1st grade and it was the last day of school. They showed us a bunch of movies to keep us entertained that day. I was blown away by this movie, I remember laughing when Ham told Luke it was just a movie. 😁

[@sarcasticguy4311]

"Filmed on location in space"

[@budb.8560]

Wow! What a hoot this is! And well done too. 'Spaceballs' before 'Spaceballs'! This reminds me of the crappy movie me and a buddy made in high school.🤣

[@homeaccount5943]

I remember first watching this years ago, on HBO. I laughed my ass off then, and it still makes me laugh all these years later. 😆

[@jlvfr]

All these years, and I'd never seen this! Omg!

[@patricklandon7476]

“Are you talkin’ to me?”

[@felixchaplin]

My dad had this movie on VHS. I loved watching it as a kid 😊

[@biffwellington1782]

Still better than the special editions.

[@jimjam51075]

The funny thing is they released a special edition of Hardware Wars that parodied the actual special editions' over use of cgi, etc. I got mine as a bonus VHS for pre-ordering the special edition of ANH at Suncoast back in the day.

[@jjeshop]

Nope, but keep practicing. One day you'll be edgy.

[@GregsGameRoom]

If I was 15 I'd be replaying that clip at 11:15 over and over...

[@josephsheppard9122]

Seen this at a Star Trek convention in 1978 I think, about 8 years old and it became a standard screening from there on out. This and the Star Trek bloopers 🏅❤️

[@adeweyan]

i may have been at the same Convention. I saw it at Space Con 6 in Oakland in '78.

[@josephsheppard9122]

@@adeweyan no, I was in Tulsa Oklahoma, OKON 78' but it's cool we had similar experiences. Makes me smile remembering doing those things with my Mom 😁👍

[@Strimbles]

Ahh forgot about this, used to watch it all the time as a kid!

[@NoahSpurrier]

I remember seeing this in a theater when it came out. I don’t remember which movie it was shown with… This is probably the first time I’ve seen this again since then. Ha! I didn’t catch the 4Q2 joke as a kid!

[@therealDonMac]

This was originally my favorite Showtime Short of all time. 1970's cable tv ftw.

[@TheKielbasaKid]

Haven't seen this in many a decade. Still better than Disney's wretchedness.

[@ssherman]

If Build Back Better remade Star Wars...lol😅

[@johnsmith19685]

It was really good to see this again. We laughed so hard when we were kids watching this. I’m glad to see it’s still around.

[@fredericklockard3854]

This is better than any Star Wars since the original trilogy 😂

[@jeffandjoannbauer9567]

🙄

[@0ned]

I think I still have this on VHS, a collectors item.