Harmontown 315 - the Santa Clause 2 (rant)

[@SimmeringPotpourri]

So, here is something to think about. If you need a wife to be Santa and Tim Allen's character accidentally killed a Santa to get the role of the new Santa, what happened to the last Santa's wife? She wasn't there when Tim Allen jumped into the sleigh and was immediately taken to the North Pole. Did the elves hide the original Mrs. Clause while, at the same time telling her that she's now without a husband and a home because you know they either sent her packing or killed her off. Good job writers.

[@dombeardly8589]

Oh. My. God.

[@FreedSamurai]

Santa does not age, but Mrs Claus does and she will die much sooner than Santa, so the first film’s original Santa’s wife dies maybe decades or more ago, and his ease at slipping off of the roof was more a suicidal giving in to the freedom to die and join his wife, pushing that burden onto the next man.

[@gomjabbar6246]

@@FreedSamurai The whole premise of the movie is that Tim is turning into santa, but maybe the north pole is just a metaphor for a cocaine infused purgatory.

[@MichaelCharles2011]

I never thought of that. Wow

[@SimmeringPotpourri]

@@MichaelCharles2011 Yeah, and neither did the writers, obviously. :-D TBH: All of the movies were dumb so I shouldn't expect so much. Still, I love considering the darker side of this operation. Worse would be assigning Mrs. Clause to the new Santa. I could see it as a position rather than a arranged union but either way, it would be difficult to pull off unless they made her a major part of the operation and Mrs Clause was more of a title than Santa's actual wife. They could then have Tim fall in love with her but then we wouldn't get the hurried marriage that was required for the second movie, which you know was completely formed around that, "Mrs Clause" line in the movie.

[@joshpegg4523]

Slavoj Zizek is really losing it

[@harrisp584]

he still spits everywhere

[@Grstearns]

"And so. The religious figure, this bishop, *sniff* this reincarnation of Christianity as a symbol of Captialism *sniff*. He goes to the North Pole and fights the plastic Hitler ans so on and so on."

[@ChrisLeeW00]

@@Grstearns And this idea of naughtiness *sniff* is completely defined within ideals that uphold the romance of capitalism.

[@lamolambda8349]

Is that the guest?

[@twistedtrail8414]

Im glad im not the only one who sees the resemblance

[@josephtedesco8429]

This puts so much perspective on Abeds Uncontrollable Christmas

[@DEFdork]

Shouldn't the movie have been called "The Santa Clause 2: Marry Christmas"

[@russellharrell2747]

DEFdork Santa Clause 2: Jingle Ball and Chain

[@mayflower2370]

No it should've been called Now You Don't

[@joelennon-phillips8132]

Hello There you win

[@Laizerdisk]

The Santa Clause 2: On The First Day Of Christmas The Writers Gave To Me... An Arranged Matrimony

[@nickaroundnite]

who's Marry?

[@KidHellacious]

If a genie gave me some wishes, one of them would be just to watch literally any movie with Harmon

[@AcornRiot]

My wish would be used to get Dan to actually watch Atlanta because I want to see him playfully rant about being jealous about how much he likes it

[@petersenior5432]

You aren't looking high enough. I would wish for Harmon to be my best friend and watch every movie with me, buying it himself

[@BrxIghtside]

Spencer losing his shit with WHAT WHAT WHAT is best part

[@riz3310]

Mine would be to have a remake of any movie by Harmon.

[@nickmartin123456]

Just tell him you have a genie and he'll probably come over on his own.

[@playalots]

This rant is so great that I come revisit it from time to time and I cry laugh every damn time lol

[@austinck7681]

I’m sad that harmontown over and we will never find out what dan thought of the third one

[@elielsaf3362]

I hope that he sees it and has such a strong opinion that they bring back the show. ... one can dream.

[@Dinckelburg]

Tweet him

[@saprogeist31]

Dan Harmon has developed so much as a writer over the course of his career that, in this twenty minute rant about The Santa Clause 2, he came up with the core of like ten alternative scripts for it and they're all better than the original.

[@vakarimasen]

This guy's so good he helps me cope with my depression

[@vjm212]

Harmon left out that the eventual Mrs. Claus is ELIZABETH MITCHELL, a woman who is so incredibly gorgeous that they can credibly cast Molly Shannon as unattractive. So a divorced toy salesman whose weight and hairstyle are DISTURBINGLY inconsistent gets the world's most beautiful high school principal to fall in love with him -- a woman, by the way, that he only met because he was such a shitty parent to his son that the kid was getting in constant trouble at school.

[@nickhewes6860]

I love your points, but convincingly casting Molly Shannon as unattractive isn't difficult.

[@colleenlavigne2196]

“The whole movie is about pulling back from chances to awaken people” - Dan Harmon

[@Aweirdjoe]

I love Harmon’s rants, they’re always over the silliest things. You can see how much of him makes it into his shows

[@kinghadbar]

It’s amazing how far Dan can get into an analysis when Jeff isn’t there to completely derail it by asking someone in the audience what they do for a living or some fucking shit.

[@NextToToddliness]

"Santa's baby is not Jesus Christ!" But what if, Jesus's baby was Santa? Think about it. I didn't.

[@NotDingse]

“Think about it. I didn’t” should be a catchphrase

[@aliqzakry834]

@@NotDingse that's what the writers of the santa clause movies said while trying to explain them

[@Fenris30]

Saint Nick

[@ewwpoorpeople5684]

I can't tell if Dan is rationally or irrationally angry. All I know is fear.

[@montecristo1845]

I enjoy Xmas, but I always remember Jon Stewart’s brilliant joke about Christmas movies and specials: “It’s always the same plot! Someone: Aw, we’re not going to have Christmas this year... Someone else: HEY, WAIT!”

[@popburnsy3207]

There's also the Hallmark movies addition of really serious business lady learns the value of Christmas and finds love with the handsome town doofus

[@kamronspencer4910]

pop burnsy and together you’ve both described the plot of Santa Claus 2. Which of course, was the point you two were making

[@chrisdalton5646]

(looking upward and gradually across the sky as jingle bells are heard)

[@brooksbrooks6805]

*"Come spend the rest of your life with me at the top of the planet with hundreds of reverse progeria people"-dan harmon*

[@matthewgonzalez2727]

I started crying I was laughing so hard

[@ChelseaColeslaw]

How does Santa deliver all the presents in one night? In the movie, that kid says "not everyone celebrates Christmas" and "also I think there's a time warp thing". So the explanation is "no Jews" and "hey man like what even is time?"

[@josedirks3973]

If you're constantly traveling to places where its night time, wouldn't it be 24 hours of night time? Coz while its day in one place its night in another, or am i just an idiot

[@pennywisepuma2255]

I go back to this so often... its my favorite

[@roundchaos]

Hey, you started posting clips again! Please don't stop, we love these!

[@dombeardly8589]

Yeah, sorry ive been slow. Finally got some free time. Im reviewing older episodes now because i dont wanna post their fresh content too soon.

[@subtlegong2817]

He essentially predicted the worst parts of the third movie through sheer force of sarcasm

[@JakeRanney]

The Santa Clause is responsible for a whole generation of children not knowing how to spell Santa Claus

[@ArchibaldClumpy]

Weirdly enough I remember even as a kid not having an issue with the legal use of the word "clause," but thinking "motherfucker, he didn't sign that shit, he's not responsible for that contract."

[@Dr.Boring]

Which in turn ruined how people spell my name lmao

[@Awesomes007]

You just explained so much to me.

[@samlibutti]

I love that dan immediately assumes Santa’s baby would be JESUS CHRIST.

[@chrisdalton5646]

He's thinking metaphorically.

[@pantarei8382]

This was 200% me walking in on some acid heads

[@robertshores7937]

I think its funnier that he looks like one of the stages that Tim Allen went through during his "desantafication"

[@GeminiRosche]

I wonder how mad Harmon will be when he finds out Santa Clause 3 is the “father who works too much and is neglecting his family” trope mixed with “it’s a wonderful life”

[@sabbathjackal]

That should have been the 1st one

[@ahzdlarge45]

To the editor-- very nice on the cut out at the very end.

[@chrisdalton5646]

Yes.

[@thedoctorprofessor1817]

I think Dan has too much time to think about things.

[@popburnsy3207]

Would imagine alcohol helps with overthinking stupid shit

[@stuv1996]

It's kinda literally his job as a writer. Think about stuff and write stuff.

[@BassLineProductionsI]

Patriot was such an amazing show

[@brettorrmusic]

This is a Ryan George pitch meeting if Ryan was a depressed alcoholic genius.

[@beniverson3777]

If any Dan Harmon Style nihilists are reading this thinking there aren't any good Christmas movies please go watch Santa bears high-flying Adventure. Don't overthink it just feel the love

[@Seantendo]

"Reverse Progeria people" is something I'll have to slip into a conversation some day.

[@johnpliskin8759]

this dude worked with chevy, who was in the very best Christmas movie ever

[@DirkCjelli42]

Chevy Chase was in Olive the Other Reindeer?

[@Lewis5020]

Christmas Vacation blows. I do not understand why it's so popular. Terrible, obvious, low-brow comedy.

[@strongbongus]

John Pliskin nope.

[@oldschool3424]

John Pliskin Chevie Chase wasn’t in Klaus

[@teiadam134]

@@oldschool3424 I fucking love Klaus

[@JACKMAN9988]

5:43 The way he talks LMAO you can clearly see that this is the same man who created Rick and Morty

[@Ryan-the-Rocketeer]

best ending ever the last 10 seconds are pure Harmon gold 22:25

[@Rottypops]

I-I-I-I-I-I-i don't know how to end shows D-D-do y-y-y-y-y-y-you know how to end shows?

[@oldschool3424]

Dan Harmon: There’s no good Christmas movies Klaus: I’m about to end this whole man’s career

[@garretdziuk823]

It's a wonderful life is a good Christmas movie.

[@moxxie6.6.6]

I'm gonna miss Harmontown hardcore.

[@marklar53]

Bad news, friend. Harmontown has ended

[@mongostickers725]

@@marklar53 ooooh the double-reverse schrabbing. Well done.

[@project395vermilion]

Harmontown hardcore? Is it like some VIP version of the show?

[@popburnsy3207]

@@project395vermilion it's the porn version

[@diehounderdoggenalt]

@@popburnsy3207 All the scenes have a little facecam of Harmon screeching about the psychosocial structure of whatever cuck scene is playing; and believe me, it's alllllll cuck porn.

[@robdon3472]

The "Age of Ultron" of the Santa Claus universe

[@brovold72]

That was amazing! God bless us, every one!

[@Toxodos]

a robot santa who thinks all kids are bad? Harmon's right, that *is* an amazing idea... by futurama

[@Tit0Matic]

Tokyo Godfathers = best Christmas movie

[@BrxIghtside]

Dans rants are the best part

[@videogamenostalgia]

The image of Dan Harmon screaming "FUCK YOU" at a TV showing of The Santa Clause 2

[@BioYuGi]

Surprisingly, the new series that came out last year called "The Clauses" answered a lot of these issues.

[@ThrashJazzAssassin77]

He legit Stanhopes out a few times here

[@jonathanferraro1159]

ThrashJazzAssassin77 the stutter and all

[@GregorBarclay]

Steve Conrad is so baked here.

[@openg739]

Wait a minute...Who among the elves was ordained to perform the ceremony?!?

[@neongod3547]

probably the basic problem with santa movies has been adressed here, right? usually, the parents don't believe in santa in those movies. yet, when christmas is saved at the end, santa delivered presents to all their houses and they dont freak out. so do these parents then think 'sure, I totally bought those presents' or 'i guess some stranger broke in here yesterday and planted wrapped packages that i'm gonna let my kids open now' or did they just buy so many of their own presents that the additional ones from santa dont really stick out? are those the shitty presents that aren't really talked about later?

[@Beowulf8989]

Haven't gotten that far in this yet. But did they establish what happened to the previous Santa Claus' wife? Did she just die when Tim Allen accidentally killed the previous Santa?

[@davidwit7749]

Mrs. Claus: "I don't feel so good." {turns to dust}

[@henith7850]

He probably never married. Why does everyone think that the previous Santa’s figured it out when it was clear that the elves had no about it until Curtis checked.

[@killingblow528]

Only Dan Harmon would watch fucking Tim Allen in “The Santa Claus looking for character arcs. ☠️

[@dirtyrandy2592]

The grinch is a good Christmas movie... I will fight you.

[@meteorjuice4088]

Dan’s more into the robot clone Santa subplot than the love story of the movie, so surprising

[@TheRestlessView]

Throwing this out there, arthur is a pretty good Christmas movie.

[@FailSonOfAnarchy]

Spencer saying "What? What? What?" killed me.

[@Cal6009]

Non-denominational "Old Man Winter".

[@dethsnake42O]

The real question is what happened to the old Mrs. Claus! Santa Claus 4?

[@billydinkman4918]

The real questions

[@briandenapoli3250]

Love to hear his thoughts on Fatman

[@dankoop66]

I wonder how much the Tim Allen Santa knows what specifically naughty things people do. Like if he ran into a serial killer on the street, would he know? What are the limits of Santa's naughty knowledge.

[@josef2012]

It's a Pass/Fail system.

[@Rezic]

I wanna see Dan Harmon involved in Santa Clause 4!

[@SkullDixon]

This is like an episode on How not to make a franchise.

[@evanweaver1060]

I just think it’s funny that several generations of people will spell “Santa Claus” wrong because of a 1994 Tim Allen movie and not understand that the title is a pun.

[@GabrielKnightz]

I would love to hear a conversation between him and David Mitchell.

[@jonathanferraro1159]

“Santa’s baby is not Jesus Christ “ HOW DO YOU KNOW?!

[@Optics21]

The Sants Clause trilogy was sick

[@Fredlyy]

The guy in plaid sounds like Jay from RLM

[@dombeardly8589]

A Redlettermedia fan? What is this, a crossover episode? Glad to see ya here!

[@Fredlyy]

@@dombeardly8589 I recognize that reference! I just started watching Bojack today lmao

[@dombeardly8589]

@@Fredlyy i just started the like last week! haha! Im already in like season 4. What a ride its been!

[@nansalem2142]

I know Dan probably won't see this but 9:09 is exactly what I'd say to Jeff Winger about Britta Perry

[@niclennox2555]

The Santa Claus 4: the Shleem Clause

[@Phi1618033]

The Santa Clause: 2 writers The Santa Clause 2: 5 writers

[@caricatureparty]

dan talks like kyle mooney in his mtv the show bit

[@pizz0wn3d]

Solid ending 👌

[@hannahs7662]

Santa Clause 2 slaps, this was great!

[@TommyRushing]

SAY WHAT AGAIN!!!

[@AceAttorny]

He slowly transforms into Gilbery Gottfried over the course of this bit.

[@KaiTenSatsuma]

Good Chirstmas Movies: Die Hard Nightmare Before Christmas Rambo

[@YungM.D.]

Kaitensatsuma don’t forget: Lethal Weapon Black Christmas Krampus It’s a Wonderful Life Home Alone The Grinch (original) Batman Returns Gremlins

[@spacecab1]

The best Christmas movie is Screwed. Dave Chappelle and Norm McDonald.

[@augustthepineapple]

Christmas Vacation Elf Merry Christmas Charlie Brown Curse of the Cat People- seriously kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z2GyiaeGo56lZ7c

[@Slackmana]

@@YungM.D. Subtract- Black Christmas, Krampus, and Batman Returns Add- A Christmas Story, Toy Story, and jumanji.

[@FlowWolf7]

Harry Potter

[@Shadowfire204]

I remember hating the 3rd one as a kid even

[@tuffy135ify]

This movie should have starred Kevin Sorbo. That's the flavor of Christmas protection it has. In fact, I'm pretty sure Kevin Sorbo made a movie that's basically The Santa Clause, but with more Jesus.

[@josef2012]

Praise St.Kevin 🙏

[@kollerjon]

Santa Clause 2 is a phenomenological take on cancer.

[@jasonmurdoc9533]

Why is Santa coming in through the door wayyy creepier than the chimney?

[@AbandonedVoid]

"Do you know how to end shows?" I see what you did there.

[@kickedinthecalfbyacow7549]

Santaclause 3 really pulls them all together.

[@quarantinebored1427]

Also Richard roeper brought this up in his review about the movie. Tim Allen didn’t want to tell the elves that he’s leaving to find a wife so that’s why he created the fake Santa. What was the big deal of tell the elves “hey i gotta leave to find a wife or I’m no longer Santa”?

[@ellesig4708]

Rare Exports is a great Christmas movie.

[@trexpaddock]

Rare Exports, Gremlins and Die Hard are the best Christmas movies.

[@ajplays-gamesandmusic4568]

Best part of this rant wasn't even from Dan. It was the idea that Jesus Christ is the son of Mr and Mrs Santa Clause. I am absolutely using that every Christmas going forward.

[@russellharrell2747]

‘You need to be like Woodrow Wilson’s administration’ You mean super racist?

[@clementello]

VERY super racist

[@JanizMakudomaru]

Know what I don't understand that I just realized from listening to this, what happened to the old mrs. Claus?

[@Yoyomo124]

Dan needs to watch The Santa Clauses tv show. It’s honestly pretty funny at points.

[@jopmens6960]

I don't go thru terrible Christmases but i still think it's like everyone is held hostage by a holiday and got Stockholm syndrome.

[@BertoxolusThePuzzled]

And I thought he said he didn't know hiw to end a show.

[@bleedpleazs9285]

Jack Frost has been a thing since forever and Spencer not knowing grinds my gears

[@brooksbrooks6805]

If santa clause NEEDS a wife.... what the fuck happened to Mrs. Clause BEFORE tim allen!?!?!? He accidentally killed santa, Became Santa, and then she just disappeared !?!? What the fuck happened to her 😂😂😂 did they send her back to America and told her, "nobody will ever believe you if you talk about the north pole" Or what would have been funnier is if they forced her to continue on with Tim Allen in an aranged marriage via the death of her husband she grew to love who is aparently REALLY replaceable at any moment 🤣

[@waynerembert3116]

GREAT CHRISTMAS FILMS Christmas Vacation Die Hard A Christmas Story Home Alone A Wonderful Life A Christmas Carol Miracle on 34th Street Elf The Nightmare Before Christmas Scrooged

[@hadolfitler3316]

Agreed, its more so theres just so many Christmas films that get pushed out that there are just way more shitty films than good ones Also I'm going to say Rudolph the red nose reindeer the stop motion one. That's a classic for me

[@Lewis5020]

On your list: the last and the first are the worst.

[@lockebrady8005]

Which Christmas Carol?

[@waynerembert3116]

@@Lewis5020 If you don't like Scrooged, fine; BUT, other than pretentious critics, I've yet to find anyone who dislikes Christmas Vacation. A solid 8.5 out of 10 imo.

[@michaels2160]

Gremlins

[@jonny5isalive3]

It makes sense that Santa needs to get married, that way, it's not at all creepy that a man is sneaking into your home and leaving your children toy's and candy 😉

[@NickWalkerWilliamson]

In your dreams sleigh boy!

[@FailSonOfAnarchy]

Santa Claus 2: Claus Harder

[@irams8486]

Why hasn’t he been on how did this get made? Podcast --if he has which one?

[@gorejarhorizon3562]

Her clock was ticking bro he was her last chance

[@jacobmiller6289]

theres no good christmas movie? mister Harmon, you need santa's slay in your life. :P

[@popburnsy3207]

Die Hard is right there

[@darkashtar]

Gremlins is a great Christmas movie. Same with Die Hard.