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Sixth and final part of our second parody interview with the royal pair; they're answering allegations made my former palace workers.
#meghanmarkle #oprahwinfrey #splitthewestatwarwithitself #parody #harryandmeghan #princeharry #royalinterview
Transcript:
Interviewer: we’re going to end this interview by going back to the beginning, when you were still active members of the royal family and living on royal grounds: accusations have arisen, Meghan, that you used to bully members of staff, speak to them condescendingly and that you Harry, are quoted to have told them: “What Meghan wants, Meghan gets.”
Harry: That was taken out of context, completely out of context - I can’t remember how or why exactly, but all I said was Meghan must get what she wants. Maybe you’ve just got to know her deeply enough to know why she must get what she wants, but nobody bothers to take the time because they’re unamazing
Meghan: I’m shocked that anyone would accuse me of bullying, quite hurt actually…
(cuts to interview looking sympathetic)
Meghan: if i ever spoke to anyone in with a sharp tongue it would have been at a time when I was acting on instincts that go above the head of the cleaner people or the bed makers, and when they slow me down, they are doing a lot of incremental damage, to the people I’m not helping, so yeah I think a few moments of aggression are acceptable in the circumstances
Harry: it wouldn’t make a difference if she tore into one of them! I mean really laid in! it wouldn’t matter, Meghan’s reaction would always be proportionate; her instincts for social justice are second to none.
Interviewer: So it’s quite acceptable to be aggressive if it’s for a larger, overarching cause that the troglodytes below you, can’t see.
Meghan: It’s a lot of responsibility; I’ve lost a lot. I’ve suffered.
Interviewer: You’re safe here.
Meghan: (closes eyes and nods with a smile) I mean i see problems and incidences of bigotry all around me, everywhere, even in the places where there clearly aren’t any - I still see them! Can you imagine what that’s like?
Interviewer: a soul so sensitive you can see problems at that aren’t even there, and the riff-raff at the palace give you backchat
Harry: I know, can you believe?
Interviewer: Hardly Harry
Harry: Meghan is a big problem solver, not the little ones: she solves the problem of hatred and intolerance around the world by showing love on the world stage…
Interviewer: Like in the overtly ostentatious, over-the-top displays when on camera greeting children or sycophantic fans…
Harry: Exactly. And then people, petty people, want to nit pick on the way Meghan actually treats the weaker people around her - which she treats amazingly actually - but it wouldn’t matter if she treated them like horse manure, it would be for a higher bloody purpose! - sorry I swore there
Interview: We’ll let you off. But I will ask this, why won't you extend tolerance to those in your family that you insist everyone else should show to their’s? Even Mr Markle, Meghan’s father, why can’t his weaknesses and mistakes be tolerated.
Harry: He’s intolerable!
Meghan: It’s slightly different when you’ve got the weight of the responsibility on your shoulders I have; if people disturb me, the world fixing doesn’t get done, so hatred will still remain rampant; I can’t be expected to tolerate people close to me, if it means risking the fate of the world. I’m not that selfish.
Harry: If you want to make an omelette, you’ve got to crack some eggs.
Interview: I think that some things up well Harry. Thanks for showing us the state of the gooey yokes inside the eggs that sit at the end of your necks. I think Harry might even be a double yoker! Join us again.