Hashtags:

In honor of Mother's Day, Jimmy reads his favorite tweets with the hashtag #MomQuotes.
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The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon features hilarious highlights from the show including: comedy sketches, music parodies, celebrity interviews, ridiculous games, and, of course, Jimmy's Thank You Notes and hashtags! You'll also find behind the scenes videos and other great web exclusives.
Hashtags: #MomQuotes
/ fallontonight

[@zzzroxyzzz]

My grandma wouldn't wear her glasses when she drove, my mom asked her why, she responded with "they make me see further than I'm comfortable with"

[@MarissaHobbies]

😂😂😂

[@kellydoyle852]

😂 I'm gunna start telling people that!

[@MagnificoGiganticus]

Hahaha!

[@Grodman5]

Oh lord

[@MissTique247]

I 💖 Grandma!

[@doomspirospero]

My mom once told me to call her so she could find her phone. once she found it she called me back to see what i wanted

[@keriezy]

Demetris classic! Back when people had house phones and answering machines my mom moved and didn't understand why her answering machine wasn't working. So she asked me to check it. I followed the cord on the answering machine back to the answering machine; problem solved.

[@christinathomsen6295]

Demetris hahah😂 this made me laugh. Thank you 😂😂

[@Sdority905]

OTAH!

[@steinfeldshopelessfountain840]

Demetris legend

[@qaramaryam5148]

Same

[@henrywhite7738]

He actually forgot to read the one by the Whackinator. He was so caught up with the name he didn't even read the hashtag

[@maddie_ackerman]

Henry White Yeah I noticed that!! I feel bad for that person who tweeted that.

[@MightyZeus]

That's Fallon for you.

[@veerleverhoeven7615]

My mom frequently forgets the name for cargo shorts and calls them "purse pants" #MomQuotes I looked up her tweet

[@MagicallyEmily]

Henry White That was me!!! I'm @zawackanator on Twitter!! My mom was so excited about my tweet too, I can't believe he missed it!

[@Guccii626]

Zip-a-Dee-Doo Disney so what is your mom's quote lol

[@kcmounsey]

My mom went to Scotland, in describing the trip she told me, “It seems like you’re going to find warthogs around every corner.” I replied, “You mean Hogwarts??”

[@vanissamendoza9320]

hooters gonna hoot 😂😂😂😂

[@carissa444]

I read that comment exactly while hearing it

[@mroutlaw3874]

Same

[@Calvin-Santo]

could someone ​explain to me what hoot means in that context? XD

[@vanissamendoza9320]

Carlos Santolin funny? 😂 I just know it's a sound made by owls. 😂

[@venaacavaa]

Vitamin Vee and thats why i dont get how can people hate on higgins

[@Originella]

My mom forgets titles, too. She thought "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" was called "Everybody's Happy in Chicago"...

[@packt.crushd1116]

"Phoenix Be Rainin And Shit." also your mom is dope if she watches sunny

[@dlhilliardful]

Originella My former mother in law told us she wanted to see the movie "Ready to Breathe". She was talking about "Waiting to Exhale".

[@Originella]

HA!! Actually, I have two brothers who watch it, but she's seen the clips and stuff that my younger brother subjects her to haha.

[@BrooklynBrimstone]

My Mom gets titles wrong all the time too. Recently she was talking about how she really wanted to watch "The Amazing Dance" (she somehow combined two reality show titles into one - "So You Think You Can Dance" & "The Amazing Race")

[@Originella]

Moms are awesome but it's so fun to laugh at the absurdities they inadvertently come up with...

[@LeahDino32]

The first one reminds me of my mom. I asked what movie she wanted to watch and she said, "That one where they go to the government facility." The goverment facility was the DMV, and the movie was Zootopia.

[@tashajackson7968]

LeahDino32 😂😂😂😂

[@ElcsieRetakov]

Otah!

[@sandigarcia8403]

LeahDino32 oh lord 😂 the fact it’s a mom thing scares me like no not me pls 😩😂

[@melrobertson2743]

The movie where they go to a government facility... Well that narrows it down😆

[@janaw6062]

My mom says "can you believe she defaced me on Facebook" she meant unfriend. Now when I get unfriended I say I got defaced. Lol

[@theoreojournal1403]

I am soooo using that from now on!

[@neen319]

😂😂😂

[@rjeanh7170]

😂😂

[@marilenat.1271]

Wow, It sounds so much more dramatic! 😂

[@Kate-gq3xx]

When my mom sings songs, she just says whatever comes to her first. Like the song that says "Now I'm feeling so fly like a G-6" , my mom says "Now I'm feeling so fly like a cheese stick"

[@Heather_Nelson]

Kate Hey my three-year-old thinks cheese sticks are pretty fly!

[@susie1330]

Kate 😂😂

[@a.sweetpeac.2281]

My dad does this. It's hilarious. Except when it's serious.

[@satchelyork]

My mom thought the lyrics to Thats Not My Name by the Ting Tings was, "They call me bitch, they call me hoe. That's not my name."

[@janini1232]

I do the same thing. 😂 I am not a native english speaker so it happens often that i dont understand what they say before looking up the lyrics. I just say similar sounding things that arent even necessarily real english words

[@lucypollock4553]

My mom once tried to boost my confidence when I got bullied. She said, "They're only mean because they are jealous. Don't know what they're jealous of, though."

[@jonelfilipek7848]

😂😂😂😂

[@vanessagregg50]

Hashtags are my favorite on the show 😀

[@esaskykke7600]

#NiceToKnow

[@jarredjones8476]

#iknowright

[@alisa-bg1wr]

same!

[@aidenthorpe3933]

Vanessa Gregg #same

[@MoreCurlsMoreGurls]

I really believe the longer he has left for the show to stay on air the longer he will stretch the bits, and try and force some comedy... And vice versa, if there's no time he'll just read it quickly and that's it. Makes me really sad honestly

[@nyx1119]

Whenever I would tell my mom "im dying" she would instantly reply " well, die quietly".

[@kitabotha9662]

Mine does this too 😂🤣

[@dalpz205]

3 yr old comment but Mother's Day this weekend. My mom did not want me to bleed on the carpet. She wasn't joking. That 70s shag must've been expensive.

[@yvonnegranger7334]

I was having trouble at school and declared to my mother that I wanted to drop out of school and become a stripper... she told me I should look in the mirror before making any rash life decisions😂😂😂 love you too Mum

[@yevgeniyaleshchenko849]

Lol, sounds like something my Mom would say to me)))

[@celinetix6831]

Yup that's my mom 😂😂😂😂😂

[@TheAtreyeeShill]

Literally my mom 🤣

[@dp1563]

OTAH

[@mikehorton6195]

Stripping is hard work. Messy and difficult. Wallpaper is bad enough but for paint you need obnoxious chemicals that are bad. Take it from a grandpa that’s been there sweetie. Stay in school.

[@Cinedragon]

My mom once had a fight with my dad and she said: I'll never forget what you said to me!......What was it again?

[@RuthKoheifish]

"Hey, you're back. What happened?" "Couldn't get a Goober." MISSED OPPORTUNITY.

[@19gomer]

you are cool and have reaallly good humor

[@sandrafenderson9708]

Once I fell down the stairs and my mom yelled, "Don't make dust!"

[@thewalkingdeadfan6180]

She’s mean

[@twintwo278]

Omgggggg😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@blondeone0094]

OTAH makes me think of CLAH (Cackle Like A Hen). Does anyone else remember that?

[@beckarkottke]

Samantha Pellegrini yes!! Also a lot of moms still think LOL is 'lots of love' so there was a tweet along the same lines that was like 'grandma died. Lol' 😂 I think jimmy does a version of this around Mother's Day every year

[@joygisiiri230]

Samantha Pellegrini. Me

[@ezrismom]

I thought of that when he did it

[@toddsimone7182]

Makes me think of Utah but with a O

[@poots605]

CLAH!!!

[@zzztrynotzzz]

after my mom accepted spanking was no longer socially acceptable she would say "don't make me hurt your feelings"

[@lglp3]

It's not socially acceptable among the alt left who are having problems with their kids being brats, but it's still a thing, globally LOL physical abuse on the other hand is a different story

[@happyhoney3433]

@@lglp3 No one on the planet would say I'm on the left but I raised 4 kids without laying a hand in them and didn't have problems . They were polite, respectful and well behaved. Spanking is what lazy, less intelligent parents do.

[@lglp3]

@@happyhoney3433 You are probably white. And what works for some may not work for others but dont be ignorant ass and call people you dont know "less intelligent"

[@celinetix6831]

@@happyhoney3433 well not all kids are calm and shit its depends on your kids personality

[@lisahinton9682]

@@happyhoney3433 Wow, elitist much? You're so wrong. Because people spank doesn't make them "lazy or less intelligent" than parents who opt to not spank. I can only imagine how rigid you are, and thus what a miserable person you likely are to be around.

[@SpaceportFloozie]

My favorite Momism was when we were watching the Spider-Man Homecoming movie and when Donald Glover came on the screen she said “that’s that rapper! Lil’ Bambino!”

[@PBironingboardII]

"Haters gonna hate, hooters gonna hoot." This is the funniest thing I have ever heard Higgins say.

[@PEACHFACE24]

OMG I’ve been sick the past few days. Been watching hashtags for days. Jimmy and Higgins have sent me into a total coughing fit. So now I’m sitting here trying not to laugh. Dang near impossible.

[@katyterberg3006]

"I like your new car. I want to get a VCR one day too." -My mom. I assume she meant "SUV".

[@mohamedaly8039]

the "haters gonna hate hooters gotta hoot" totally got me 😂😂

[@heatherj8321]

My mom called a selfie a “onesie”. It’s now a running joke in our family!

[@annatimberlake7]

Can I get into your "onesie"?

[@BritRose]

I told my mom I got straight A's for my last semester of college and she said, "So all that crying was for nothing?" 🙃 #MomQuotes

[@amyfrancis8358]

Brit Rose j

[@camillematthews8129]

When I was around 11 my mom and I were driving past a neighbour who was a little person. She stared out into the road and broke the silence with “I wonder how he puts his Christmas lights up”?. To which I immediately responded “with a ladder like everyone else”!? She went so red.

[@LosinMyCrackers]

My mom would always say " You have to suffer to be beautiful" whenever she pulled my hair too hard when she was helping me get ready for school

[@anniehallmartin995]

LosinMyCrackers my German grandmother said that too! 😂

[@luvwhirl]

LosinMyCrackers pain is beauty 🍼🍭

[@tephanie18]

LosinMyCrackers my mom told me "Para ser bella, hay que ver estrellas", which rimes and literally means "in order to be beautiful, you have to see stars", stars from the pain... So it's pretty much what your mom said

[@Widdekuu91]

Yeah..'wie mooi wil zijn moet pijn lijden', same here. "Who wants to be beautiful, must suffer pain."

[@BritRose]

LosinMyCrackers omg, my mom did the same thing 😂😂😂

[@randomthings2016]

Best one was when my Mom asked me what IDK stood for. I replied with I don’t know & she replied with oh, okay! 🤦‍♀️😭😍❤️🤩😏

[@ayaan.siddiqui]

I love hashtags. Please keep doing them!

[@Mr_-Heisenberg]

I just love Higgins and his one liners

[@chainblast2590]

Oh I just love me a good Hashtags segment! Its always a HOOT!

[@sofiaalayon3340]

"Haters gonna hate, hooters gonna hoot" 😂😂😂

[@elizabethvogt2306]

I've watched this specific hashtag several times....you 2 are brilliant.

[@MagicallyEmily]

I AM @ZAWACKANATOR AND JIMMY FORGOT TO READ MY TWEET!! My tweet was: My mom frequently forgets the name for cargo shorts and calls them "purse pants" (Which is 100% true)

[@YeeSoest]

When my mom calls me on my mobile phone and I tell her I'm at home, her first instinct is to call the landline to save money. I have never had my own landline since I moved out so I wondered what number she'd dial to call me, she gave my last landline number, which is the one she's calling from^^

[@seaneshawnrandall3224]

One time as I was going through an ugly divorce I said "WELL YA KNOW KARMA IS A BITCH!" She said "Karma??? Honey, I don't think I've met her have I met her???" 🤣🤣🤣 God I love her!!!!

[@14laurenlovesmusic]

The next one should be grandma quotes

[@OvSpP]

So when can see hashtags like ‘I swear if those gays don’t stop with their damn parades!’ Grandpas.

[@Ceazurhaha]

Higgins always killin it 😂😂

[@732Netto]

Ceazurhaha Higgins is the best

[@pato20995]

Higgins is cancer

[@Anna-ls8sb]

This Is like the 27th time I've watched this clip and it never stops being funny, totally a hoot!

[@tinabell6583]

Love 💗 to all the moms out there rip mom I love you

[@kayrup3712]

My momma is always telling me to look something up on "ebay", she means goggle...

[@BradB93]

"Hooters gonna hoot."😂 Higgins is the best!!!😂😂

[@lizzayliz84]

Not my mom, my dad pronounces celebrity names wrong. My favorite is George Loony and Hoopi Goldburger.

[@cjhs2006]

“OTAH”Should be a Thing,It’s Just Too Funny,&,Perfect

[@Semperfade]

If you see this have a nice day!

[@ilovemydog6847]

Deceitful FoX you you too 👍😊

[@TheGoodTheMadsTheUgly]

Deceitful FoX 10 months later and you still made me smile 🙂

[@FeistyFox420]

I don't believe you want me to have a nice day...

[@aprilhamlincoln]

You too! Have a beauty day!

[@Maberlys]

JIMMY YOU SKIPPED WHAKINATOR WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

[@Patrick94GSR]

@zawackanator My mom frequently forgets the name for cargo shorts and calls them "purse pants" #MomQuotes

[@MagicallyEmily]

Maberly I'm @zawackanator on Twitter, I can't believe I get on the show and Jimmy skips my tweet!

[@Maberlys]

Zip-a-Dee-Doo Disney I'm sorry for completely butchering your username 😂

[@jackbelden3851]

Oh that’s a hoot

[@glucosina]

dwe edv i skip through it sometimes, they just take it so far, like minutes of bs.

[@MsJaiMae]

When I was little kid, I used to talk back to my mom, she would say, "I brought you into this world, I can take you out." Lesson learned. NEVER talk back to your black mother. I remember seeing my life flash before my eyes after she said that. 😂😂

[@henrywhite7738]

She stole that from the Cosby Show

[@MsJaiMae]

That's her favorite show. LOL.

[@henrywhite7738]

That explains it then lol

[@victoriagorena2586]

Omg my dad always said "I didn't bring you into this world but I can take you out of it" lmao glad I wasn't the only one

[@MsJaiMae]

***** I see your dad watched that episode of the Cosby too. 😂😂

[@michritch3493]

I love when these guys riff. Funny!

[@pokeyclawz8727]

My family was on vacation and my mom saw a sign that she thought said turtle crossing so she kept asking us where the turtles were. It took me a minute to figure out why she was looking for turtles. The sign said truck crossing. Now i always ask her where the turtles are.

[@rachelberndt1835]

One time my brother pet the dog at the dinner table and my mom said, "don't pet the dog, she's full of dog hair. "

[@cozyemeralds]

My mom once told me when Silence of the Lambs and Sleeping with the Enemy came out in '91, she confused the two titles and she ended up saying "Sleeping with the Lambs" 😂

[@peggygibbons1441]

My Mom used to say, "You kids are giving me a headache!" I was like, Whats a headache?? I have my own kid now & I completely know what a headache is.

[@jennifermullan4865]

Okay, hooters gonna hoot is a brilliant line! HA! OTAH!! 🤣

[@lhughescca]

My mom somehow thinks the expression "yikes" is plural. So now, in a serious and dramatic tone she says "yike." Cracks me up every time

[@geriatricward]

My mum likes to say 'I'm so happy I have snot bubbles coming out of my nose' when she's really pleased about something

[@aleksacaruso4376]

My mom was once trying to explain Big Bang Theory to me. She kept referring to it as "Sonic Boom"

[@Neha98]

My mum always said that if you're going to get into a fight - you're going to get yelled at anyway so make sure you get a good few punches in and win so that the punishment is worth it

[@alaapopping5394]

I hope you doing good jimmy may god rest her soul peacefully and I hope you and your family are well and god bless you ❤️🙏

[@MelissaThompson432]

The members of my family have "mouth dyslexia" and usually call him "Bon Jon Bovi."

[@shuboy05]

We should start using OTAH.

[@serenad333]

When I was 16, I was at the store with my mom and had noticed there was a hole in my jeans near the crotch. I said, "Crap.. mom, there's a hole here" she looks at me and goes, "Honey, you're supposed to have a hole there" in. Front. Of. Everyone. Including, the guy I had a crush on, who just happened to be shopping for t-shirts 6 feet away.

[@fabioluscreations2691]

🤣😂🤣😂

[@yousunshineyoutemptress]

That first one is literally my mom but with song titles and lyrics. The other day I heard her singing 'Hello Yellow brick wall' instead of 'goodbye yellow brick road' and she thought that 'what makes you beautiful' by 1d is called 'So beautiful lol

[@deathbym0nkeys]

higgins is my favorite!! 😂❤️

[@raunaqarora4565]

OTAH. Just like CLAH. Anyone?

[@joygisiiri230]

Light Black Lipstick. I remember that.

[@jasdipkaur6004]

I love Jimmy and his laugh ❤❤❤❤❤

[@youwinkiwink9608]

"I want my haters to know what's up". SWAG!

[@23hunter152]

It's even funnier when you hear the Roots laughing in the background lol

[@fayezimmerman8071]

Because of this very clip I now use OTAH! I love it!

[@ticiamusic]

Hashtags is a brilliant bit, cause the show writers don't have to do any work. Genius...

[@catherinec2327]

There is this restaurant that my mum went to for more than 10 years. She has called this waiter Ron. She recently found out that his name was Lewis. #Momquotes

[@RinJackson]

And he never said anything because...?

[@thedorsinator]

I spit my tea out all over my couch at the Fitbit joke

[@fatimamendez3153]

You gotta admit it: Jimmy F has the best sidekick of all the late night hosts.

[@tesc-zn1pg]

Did he skip one?

[@sophie3]

Tesy Lava yea, they always do that on KZbin, live it's more :/

[@16050390]

yeah they were laughing to hard they accidentally skipped it

[@PhiHuynh166]

Is it just me or Steve Higgins is really the best sidekick out there? I know Reggie, Guillermo, or Twitch (Ellen's DJ) they're all funny, but it seems like Steve Higgins really nails it. There's a very good invisible connection between Jimmy and Steve :)

[@rohateanonis4657]

Andy Richter please

[@PhiHuynh166]

Yeah I know he's not. Just sometimes when Ellen throws jokes and he reacts real quick :3

[@uk6016]

Phi Huynh you forgot Andy rickter (conan)

[@santablob56]

Also Higgins, like Andy Richter, are/have been actual writers and producers for a long time so they know what they're doing.

[@toddsimone7182]

I wonder if they hang out outside of work

[@brittanymiller1995]

Haters going to hate, hooters gonna hoot!!! I peed myself laughing so hard 😂 😁🤩🤪

[@mrcfx3383]

#OTAH

[@Vineet0k]

I'll take a Goober in your Uber

[@georgia-mn7hl]

Vineet0k OTAH

[@maddiegrissom2551]

I'm a goofie goober yeah!Who's a goofie goober yeah?! Were all goofie goobers yeah... Goofie goober goofie goober goofie goober YEAH ! 🤣🤣

[@ilovemydog6847]

I once asked my dad what kind of car he had at the time I was born. he said “ a Cortina “ mum replied “ no,she was younger than that when we had that car”. A few years after that she was telling me how she got a great kettle in the sales for only €10. “It’s great she said and a lot cheaper than the more expensive ones “.

[@kimia1664]

My mom is on her phone 24/7 yet when I ask her what time it is she always reads it from the clock on the wall 😅 🤦‍♀️

[@marcossrojas2085]

Lmao at Higgins fitbit joke yes dirty but subtle enough to where it can slip by

[@lizard3755]

My mom was really upset about Luke's death in The Last Jedi, so she said "I could just lay down and let a car run over me if I wanna feel crushed."

[@yevgeniyaleshchenko849]

Lol

[@tamarleahh.2150]

She's right!

[@TheGoodfella2012]

4:36 "30,000 when I wear it on my right hand, zero when I wear it on the left" LMAO

[@Fishbowl74]

'Hooters gonna hoot'; first time I had to laugh about something Higgins said....

[@zhenzhunaichaoo4750]

Fishbowl74 me, too. Seriously

[@Fishbowl74]

It was a true surprise! :)

[@penjenta]

Steve Higgins is the BEST! hilarious

[@lydiamar7589]

TheLordHasSpoke Turning water into boxed wine

[@katrinawagner6842]

We used to live with my great grandmother, she lived down stairs and we lived upstairs and she was always losing her dentures. She would yell up the stairs at my mom, CINDYYYYYY, I CANT FIND MY TEEEEEEETH. Then my mom would go downstairs and usually half would be in her sweater pocket and the other half would be on the table or her bed or something haha.

[@robertgillespie7946]

During a wild phase of mine, I walked in on my Mother giving her friend a recipe on the phone. I couldn't believe my ears when she said to add about a half pound of shrooms. I laughed my ass off and told her not to say it.

[@lornasmith1286]

"Haters gonna Hate..Hooters gonna Hoot" 🤣🤣🤣😂😄🤪😜😳

[@fannithesloth2278]

Me: mom my best friend has a new boyfriend AGAIN! Mom: don‘t you think it‘s time for you to finally have a boyfriend? I worry for you, what if you don‘t find one? I was 16 at the time😂 #MomQuotes

[@mz.phatbaldkat7839]

"If you kids didn't cost so much, I could afford wine that comes out of a bottle", #FRANZIA, $12.97..one of my favorites 😀😀

[@VM13TV]

The recurring fitbit joke gets me every time.

[@HouseMDaddict]

Vivek Mathai and i bet it goes over a lot of people's heads too

[@geelovepooh]

The Fitbit joke cracks me up everytime

[@Maria-xg9ud]

haters gonna hate, Hooters gonna hoot. made my day😂

[@olalekanmagbade8763]

I have always wondered what the sidekick is for? Now I know. He is great in these segments!

[@zora99ny]

Why does Jimmy have a separate detached keyboard and a laptop that already has a keyboard?

[@nelsonw9483]

Laptop keyboards are not comfortable to use.

[@TheRaventwilight]

The Fitbit count callback. LOL 😂 from the #DontjudgeMe

[@sleepypuppy29]

My mom believes LOL stands for "lots of love" which is cute until someone reaches out to her for condolences and she says "Oh honey that's so bad. I'm sorry for your loss. LOL"

[@HouseMDaddict]

NCanseco way to recycle a joke almost verbatim from 10+ years ago...

[@sleepypuppy29]

I didn't know this was a common occurrence, but thank you for pointing that out. In the spirit of pointing out things in order to help out our fellow internet people, I'd like to point out your tone came across a bit harsh. I do honestly appreciate the help though!

[@racheldennison8839]

NCanseco my mom thought this too and so did my aunts. That was kind of a rude response to you. Maybe It is a common joke because alot of mom's think this way. Don't feel bad.

[@lindaangievazquez]

😂😂😂😂 it’s late and I’m sure my neighbors don’t appreciate how hard I laughed at your comment 😂😂😂 thanks for a great laugh

[@2760daisy]

Thank you for making me laugh!

[@iloveyouforever2395]

I just showed my mom this and she died of laughter. The one where the mom would whistle at the men and say it was their child is my mom completely!!!! She would so do that!

[@alisa-bg1wr]

This number of steps joke never gets old!! :D