Have pets REALLY replaced children?🐾🐱🐶

[@BryonyClaire]

FREE TOYS AND GIFT CARDS! Everyone who signs up to my giveaway with @bellesaco wins something! Click here for my link: www.bboutique.co/vibe/bryonyclaire-yt Thanks again to everyone who participated in the survey! I really appreciate it

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

Blaming young people for having pets instead of kids is like blaming homeless people for not mowing the lawn. We did not create the current economic situation, we're just acting accordingly.

[@magnarcreed3801]

Love seeing you in all the videos I also watch. Also I wouldn’t blame them period. Some people just want fur babies. Even if I had all the money in the world I would only want fur babies.

[@OliveAndJackie]

​@@magnarcreed3801 for real, it's a shame that for some people getting a pet is getting pricer these days. But I am glad that I am able to find cheap but high quality things for my pup! 😊

[@Lilah-Violet]

​@@magnarcreed3801You're so right. Even if the economy improved overnight, I won the lottery, had a huge house and tons of resources, and had access to affordable/free childcare, there's nothing in this world that would make me want to have a human child. Parenthood like such a thankless nightmare scenario for me, and it brought me so much peace of mind to have my tubes removed! All I need is my partner and our three cats. 💖

[@Selenaelena-ge6dk]

Honestly the real answer is who cares if people have kids or not? And if someone does genuinely care they need more things to fill out their day lolz

[@OliveAndJackie]

@@Lilah-Violet honestly, I agree. I cannot IMAGINE being pregnant. I just don't think I'd handle it at all.

[@b.c.9358]

My coworker's first baby came 8 weeks early and spent 49 days in the NICU at $15,000/day. That's $735,000 before insurance adjustments. Of course, after insurance, the cost will be much lower, but imagine having to pay that cost out of pocket. The baby is fine now, and home from the NICU and doing pretty well. In America, the number 1 reason for bankruptcy is medical debt.

[@BryonyClaire]

Oh my gosh, I feel so much for them, that would have been so harrowing to go through! Not only that but the fact it even costs people to begin with when they're in a state of duress with no other options is so dystopian to me, the US healthcare system is so screwed

[@b.c.9358]

​​@@BryonyClairemy coworker and his wife both have jobs, savings, and health insurance, as well as family that are coming to help. Most people aren't as fortunate. Medical bills are not itemized like vet bills are, so there's a lot more grey area for health insurance and hospitals to charge exorbitant fees people don't even know they can dispute. Our health insurance industry is broken. My rabbit's vet visits (annual) are less than $300 / year. I can afford that. I could not afford having a baby in the hospital.

[@mookinbabysealfurmittens]

The even worse part (imo) is that those bills apply even when the patient doesn't make it. I understand services have been rendered, but imagine, losing a family member _and_ being hit with a bill for 1/4 million dollars, _plus_ the (often sudden) costs & planning for funeral, burial, sorting through their home and belongings, all while grieving the loss, while guilt-ridden about how to go about all that. Please, if you can, prepare some end-of-life planning. I found great info via the "death-positive" Caitlyn Doughty of _Ask A Mortician_ (here on KZbin, also author of several books on the subject).

[@Pomagranite167]

@b.c.9358 u realize that, as a paying customer, ur allowed to ask medical providers for an itemized bill, right?

[@piccalillipit9211]

Here in Bulgaria an in-hospital stay is $35 a day flat rate and obviously its free for the citizens

[@torbayota]

the "its okay to be sad when a pet dies" part of the video made me feel a lot better because I come from a farmer background where when i was a kid, my family straight up killed and served a baby sheep i was bonded with that was friends with our dogs etc as lamb dinner and expected me to not only eat it and be thankful but continuously mock me for an aversion to lamb to this day. sometimes I genuninely feel like the crazy person because of the people around me

[@jaclynmccosker]

I’m really sorry that happened to you!! Personally, that would traumatise me beyond belief. I totally understand you.

[@BryonyClaire]

Aww I'm so sorry, that just breaks my heart 💔 the fact they still mock you for having a very normal reaction is disgusting honestly

[@StoryBird2]

I feel you man, I had a favorite horse on the farm but they couldn't break it so the horse got sent away to die. Farms can be tough for animal lovers

[@nharber9837]

Same thing happened to my gran about her rabbits. She grew up out on a farm in the middle of nowhere rural Wyoming on a res. They were her pets and had names and everything until the solidified cruelty that grew a personality known as her father decided otherwise and when she found out and had the predictable response to a thing like that he ridiculed her for being “soft.” He went out of his way to rub it in because he thought it was funny and I will spare you the details. She had an aversion to eating rabbit or wearing rabbit fur for the rest of her life and wouldn’t even let any of her kids have rabbits as pets. People who traumatize their children and then ridicule and punish them for having emotional responses to emotionally difficult things are the worst. Life is harsh and painful enough unassisted without going out of your way to make it worse.

[@susanjeffries5108]

I was horrified when I was a child to learn that one of our pet cows was not a pet at all. My parents sent me to a friend's house and when I got home, my cow Cocoa was gone. I absolutely REFUSED to eat the meat from my cow (frustrating my mom no end) and I was extremely traumatized by the whole thing. We had fed this sweet cow from a bottle and he was absolutely darling. It's one of the reasons I don't eat beef today. We had another cow named T-Bone who was intended for meat but he was the best friend of one of our horses. We decided to keep T-bone as a pet because he was so sweet and wonderful and such a good companion to our horse. When our horse unexpectedly died, T-Bone stopped eating. He would mournfully walk into her stall and make the most heartbreaking noises. The weight was just falling off of him and he was becoming emaciated. We had to put him down because he was so heartbroken and we couldn't get him to eat. Anyone who says animals don't have feelings has NO IDEA what they're talking about. My husband and I have a son and a golden retriever and my son does consider our dog to be a brother of sorts. They are definitely competitive sometimes for attention LOL, just like siblings would be. I love animals and pets in general and celebrate anyone who wants to give of their home and resources to bring pets or children into their lives.

[@alexwigg823]

My family got bunnies when I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. My mom was worried about my mental health and thought it would be good for me to “have something that’s easy to love”. She was very right. I still struggle, but it’s really nice to come home at the end of the day and have a uncomplicated relationship/interaction. People are confusing and draining, so ending the day by cuddling with my bunnies, who don’t care if I’m awkward or anxious is really nice.

[@ki.44524]

hi im also really interested in getting a bunny. where do they live? like what house / pen do you have for them

[@bottomofastairwell]

That's the thing I love most about animals. Like yeah, don't get pets with toys eclectic or perfect love, coz that's not right. You have to earn a pets love or trust. But once you do, it's pure. There's no pretending to be nice to backstab you later. There's no being your friend just to take advantage of you. My cat helps so much too when I'm upset or having a meltdown coz something happened like my bank sent a new card. People are complicated and difficult and judgey and SO exhausting. But my cat just loves me, he doesn't judge or think I'm too weird or awkward or give a crap about any of my "quirks" because pets just don't care. They don't care if you're autistic or have anxiety or anything else, they just love you because you love them and that's it. And that's probably my favorite thing ever. I wish more people were like that.

[@Drzozo_]

You put it so well "uncomplicated relationship" because people are so "confusing and draining"

[@j.kaimori3848]

If you are a young woman there's a chance you might be autistic. I know your experience is common for many people but anxiety is often the first symptom for undiagnosed autistic women.

[@StoryBird2]

YES! Work can be tiring for me especially during the closing shift but getting home and seeing my cats waiting for me always lifts my soul

[@TeroTheShortOne]

People think I 'spoil' my cat because I get super high-end food for her that costs almost as much as my food every month. She's allergic to a laundry list of things, it's less expensive to just feed her well than to constantly have to take her to the vet for allergic reactions/load her up on antihistamines. 🤷‍♀

[@Pomagranite167]

I chose to be a pet parent, so I do feel obligated to give them the best life I can offer. I don't see it as spoiling. I see it as taking care of my things, and anything in my care will be cared for. I take care of my car, my shoes, my clothes, my house, my body, and health. My pets and plants are no different. I suppose the people who do not care greatly for their pets probably don't really treat their posessions with care either.

[@S3lkie-Gutz]

my english setter is the same way, he’s like me(i have autoimmune issues and asthma) in a way. he’s still kinda dumb and gets into stuff he shouldn’t but i’d rather feed him stuff he can manage than take him to the emergency vet often. he gets frequent fungal infections in his ears so he needs antifungal ear drops every so often and takes claritin(vets orders)

[@StoryBird2]

same here, my mom jokes about us 'spoiling' our cats but that's because we get them high quality food WHICH THEY DESERVE and have gotten them a bunch of other items like a fountain over time. Feeding your cat crappy food is like feeding a human child boxed/canned food their whole life, it works but they can eat better.

[@JustMeAri]

My pets eat better than me (except when they keep asking for human food, which we only give them if it's safe and in a amount won't cause health problems).

[@tetrabelle]

You are so right that SO many people just treat pets like an accessory and dont really understand the responsibility. Sadly, some people are the same about kids. they want the legacy and the joy but dont think about the real responsibilities.

[@bottomofastairwell]

They want the idea of children, but not the reality of parenting

[@StoryBird2]

especially guinea pigs 0-0

[@amandajay7922]

100% agree and the whole parents' rights movement is based on the idea that children are property. They think they're entitled to know everything about these little people, even when they choose to tell a teacher, coach, etc. something deeply personal like being LGBTQ+ instead of their parents. If their children don't feel the trust and safety to tell them something, that's the fault of the parents.

[@quasalor1480]

💯💯💯💯

[@tappytart]

🐈‍⬛🐈🐕🐕🐇🐇Oh the grief topic is so real. One of our cats, her name was Thalia, passed away in Feburary. She had been sick for months and almost didn't make it previously, but somehow managed to jump off death's door. Then suddenly, she got worse again, trips to the vet every two days, but on Feb 22nd, I was alone with her in the morning and noticed that day was the last with her. My mum and sister came home, and we waited together by Thalia's side until we could take her to the vet and say goodbye. It was hard for everyone in our family, because we took her in with her mother and siblings when she was 5 days old. Of course we brought Thalia back home, for the rest of our cats and dogs to register what happened, and buried her in the garden. The mother cat, Annie, is still with us and she was obviously grieving for half a year, only now we see her back to her old self again. It still hurts to write this comment, thinking about our family member that passed away, and it hurts even more when I think back to the pets in my lifetime that have left us before. So taking leave of absence from school/work/etc??? absolutely 100% valid. It'd be weird if you didn't tbh.

[@BryonyClaire]

That's heartbreaking, I'm so sorry, losing a pet is really tough and the grief is absolutely real. You gave her, her mother and siblings such a nice home and I'm sure she was so happy living there with you, her mother Annie's grief breaks my heart, I'm glad she's feeling more like herself now but animals truly do grieve for eachother, too, the fact some people don't acknowledge this is weird to me

[@ALiteralClown69]

my dog also passed away on feb 22nd :( exactly a month before my birthday which made it even worse. atleast we rescued her sister so now we have another doggy and even tho im still sad she passed, im happy we got to rescue her sister as she probably wouldve been stuck with her abuser if he hadnt offered to give her to us after he learned of what happened to the previous dog

[@magnarcreed3801]

For réal. They’re family to us. I’d drop everything if something happened to my fur babies. I’d sooner be in the streets.

[@bottomofastairwell]

Had a cat when I was a kid, Catrina. And she was literally my best friend. Every day after school, I would come home and she'd be waiting on my bed for me. She ALWAYS made it back, like clockwork, coz she just knew that's when I would get home. One day I came home and she wasn't there and my mom had to tell me she got hit by a car. I was beyond devastated. That was over 20 years ago and I STILL miss that fucking cat. So I get it. It's a kind of hurt and grief that a lot of people might not understand of they've never had a bond that deep with a pet. I guess my only real consolation is knowing that I have this little creature the best life I possibly could and that it got to love a happy, carefree life full of love, which is better than I can say for me, lol. My cat has a better life than I do, he just gets to be happy and do what he wants, and I like that I can give this little creature a life that's actually GOOD, especially in the nightmare that is our world

[@catvalentine4317]

I'm so sorry for your loss! Take care 💜💜

[@aemtarot]

I find it hilarious that some people think that taking good care of your pets means that you're taking it to an obsessive level when some folks can't/couldn't even give the bare minimum care and safety to their human child.

[@strawberik]

🐈 TW: emotional abuse. In 2021 I ended my long term relationship that had become emotional abusive during the pandemic. I had purchased a home with my ex which made leaving a lot harder. I also had a cat that my ex had helped me to adopt. We came to an agreement that my ex would buy me out of my portion of the house so I could leave. But the one thing we struggled to agree on was my cat. He argued the cat was his because he picked her up but I was the one who wanted her. I was the one her took her to the vet and scooped her liter. I was the one whose lap she slept in. I could barely trust him to scope her liter when I went out of town and I knew he would neglect her if I left her. My dad told me “you can get another cat just leave” but I had enough of giving everything to my ex. So I put my foot down and said that she was mine and I was taking her. He exploded and screamed at me a lot but I was a grey rock and he was forced to agree that the cat was mine in the agreement. I’m so happy I fought for her. She is my baby and she and I have been through a lot together. She has a better relationship with my husband than she ever did my ex. Pets are worth fighting for and can be just as much a part of a family as any child.

[@sentientbeingslove]

🐱😻 I have a paraplegic cat with very special needs. She wears diapers, requires lifting up to get onto furniture, gets meds multiple times a day, gets subcutaneous fluids every other day, and struggles with chronic UTIs. She's my permanent toddler. My best friend jokes that I said I didn't want kids, so the universe sent her instead. She is the cuddliest animal I've ever lived with, super affectionate and vocal, and travels with me in my camper van as an adventure kitty.

[@gabrielledatascience]

I want human kids one day but I def call my dog my son. Having my boy really helped me grow up and truly understand empathy. I always wanted a dog but it wasn't until I had one I realized how many people don't see them as intelligent beings worth love and protection

[@BryonyClaire]

Animals really do teach us a lot, I know our cats have. It's so sad how many people don't see them as intelligent or fully sentient beings, it's such an outdated view

[@gabrielledatascience]

@@BryonyClaire 100% ✨

[@magnarcreed3801]

Similar except I don’t want human children. Raised all my siblings. View my siblings and pups as my children. Love them all so much and equally.

[@DragonicCherry]

Queen. Complete mood tbh.

[@LailaRobinson-bn3cq]

FINALLY! Someone sees pets as families, a living being other than a “disgusting animal” or “campion”

[@shironerisilk]

You literally have a golden halo behind you, sun goddeeess

[@BryonyClaire]

I fully agree with you, people who have kids when they don't want them and are forced into it from peer pressure (or because laws don't allow them to have bodily autonomy) are only creating more hurt for themselves and for the kids. I wish we didn't put pressure on people to have kids who genuinely don't want them, much better for people who really do want to be parents to be able to and be fully supported with govt systems and safety nets imo :)

[@magnarcreed3801]

Agreed! I could have all the money in the world and would still choose to have my fur babies instead of skin babies.

[@martianpudding9522]

I don't view my cat as my child but I do think of myself as her adoptive mom, if that makes sense. Like the role she plays in my life is not much like what I see people have with their human children, but because I adopted her as a kitten I feel obligated to be a suitable replacement for her cat mother. I mostly view her as my little buddy but I'm also aware that she needs someone to make sure she is fed and clean and healthy, comfortable and happy.

[@BryonyClaire]

Yeah I get what you mean! It is our job to look after them and make sure they're happy fulfilled and healthy, and they bring us so much joy too :)

[@magnarcreed3801]

That’s cute you at least recognize she views you as her mom. I certainly view my pups as my babies. I do all the stuff parents do with their kids except school I guess? They got clothes and seatbelts. Eat with us. I’m just glad yours is loved and taken care of!

[@YGOphantom]

I'm the same. I don't view my animals as my kids, I never call them my children or babies, I call them my pets or my animals. I do see myself as their parent/ leader and protector. Seriously, I may not see them as my kids, but I will protect them like they are. BTW, I have 1 dog and two snakes. I'm getting more real soon!

[@bottomofastairwell]

This. My cat isn't my kid, I don't want kids. My cat is more like a companion/friend/dependant creature than a kid. But I'm definitely his mom. By definition I provide that nurturing role of caring for him and making sure his needs are met. So i TOTALLY get this, let isn't my kid, but I'm still like their parent thing

[@Katka.Ivanova]

I think it's really weird when people assume that people (usually women) who get pets actually want children. I've never wanted children. I don’t even want to spend time with children. I got a cat because I wanted a cat. I grew up with a cat and decided to get my own after undergrad. No deeper reason than that. I wasn't lonely. I wasn't depressed. I just felt like getting a cat. I think some people make it a lot deeper than it is

[@martianpudding9522]

I thought the term "pandemic puppies" was more related to their lack of socialization due to lockdowns? I have a couple friends who got pets during or very close before lockdowns, leading to them not having had the opportunity to get used to being around strangers or being home alone during the important formative periods where you would normally want to introduce those things to a baby animal. So now their pets are very shy and have seperation anxiety and such.

[@poppythedogofwonders]

Most likely, the term means both

[@royalbandit8106]

I actually found a word to describe my relationship with my cat Vivi a week before she died. "Kahu" it's a Hawaiian word meaning protector and companion. Someone entrusted with the task of caring a sacred treasure, that isn't property, but a part of your soul. I'm not Hawaiian, so I can't say we can appropriate this word, but I click with it.

[@BryonyClaire]

I do love that so much, I saw a reel about that last night as someone was talking about their bunny and thought it was perfect. I'm so sorry Vivi passed away, it's horrible dealing with loss, she would have known you gave her the best life you could and loved her, and cherished the time she had with you 🤍 Completely unrelated side note - I love the name Vivi as an FF9 fan, unsure if that was your inspo but it made me think of the character who was a sweetheart

[@royalbandit8106]

@BryonyClaire Thank you. I gave her the best life I could. It's obvious you take great care of your cats, too. My brother actually named her after Victor Victoria (obscure trans character) because they both had half a moustache. But when I told my best friend about Vivi, she also thought of the FF9 character 😂

[@bleeka325]

This is great. I never related very much to the term pet parent because I thought the relationship between my cat and myself to be different than that

[@sylvia.s.s.]

🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈 I was one who responded that I have three cats. They are my emotional support system. Since I'm disabled with severe depression, they are the only reason I wake up every day after my older ladies passed away. 🐕🐕

[@dominikaszymaszek45]

So sorry to hear! I am glad though you have your fur babies ❤ I rent a studio and I am not allowed to have pets here, which is heartbreaking 💔

[@katherineguevara4430]

17:38 This section where you were talking about people who take their dogs in strollers reminded me of when my dog was nearing the end of his life. He just couldnt walk anymore. I placed him in the stroller which had an opening for him to view the outside, and took him around my neighborhood on those final days.💔

[@BryonyClaire]

That must have been heartbreaking to deal with, it's so lovely that you took care of him like you did and gave him the opportunity to still experience the world, he would have so appreciated it 🤍

[@katherineguevara4430]

@@BryonyClaire Thank you, I appreciate those words. Makes it easier on me. Love your videos as always, have a lovely day.

[@moominmay]

@@katherineguevara4430so nice as you couldn’t control the length of his time towards the end but you could the quality which is what you did 🥹

[@ollybygolly9326]

Landlords can’t legally restrict units to not allow children. At least in the US, it’d probably be a violation of equal protection. I’m sure if they could though, they would.

[@jinaolen786]

Yes, I was coming to add this - a single mom with children isn't viewed the most favorably by many landlords, for the reasons mentioned in the video. Looking for a new place can easily involve assuring the landlord how well behaved and quiet they are. I 100% agree that if they could, some landlords would explicitly ban renters with children. I've been turned away from 1 bedroom apartments, even though my two little kids were only with me 50% of the time.

[@AmbiPanby]

You're exactly right, familial status is considered a protected class. You can have pet free properties, however, if you claim your animal is an emotional support animal and obtain documentation, most landlords won't want to challenge that in court, at least not in Texas. And pet friendly is the highest search for folks seeking rental housing in the US, so you put yourself at a competitive disadvantage if you have a no pet policy.

[@HaleyMary]

It's so true that the grief of losing a pet is very difficult. I lost my cat in 2020 due to his old age and I still forced myself to go to work even though I felt numb. I didn't think anyone would take it as serious grief like when a family member or relative dies.

[@bbblgum]

Our dog IS our son, but we fully understand that he is not a human child. I always wanted to treat my pets before the way I am able to take care of him now but couldn’t afford it. We make sure to have a consistent schedule for him and I’m lucky enough to go into work an hour earlier so I can leave to walk him in the middle of my shift. My husband and I really aren’t sure about kids yet but our boy doesn’t replace that. He is his own being and we love him more than anything. ❤

[@magnarcreed3801]

Same. I don’t care if your kid is human or not. The bond is the same. I love my fur babies. I’d die for them and I get up every day and live for them.

[@sgujuhgftyyuyy]

I am a cat lover, and love my cats, but pets are not your children. You would die if you actually had to raise a child.

[@magnarcreed3801]

@@sgujuhgftyyuyy Would die or would die for? Pretty sure people have died for their fur babies. If you go by blood, no adopted parents count. If you go by bond, you can’t make the line for how someone else feels.

[@bbblgum]

@@sgujuhgftyyuyy as someone who had a terrible parent, I can confidently say I treat my dog way better than my mom treated me

[@Awaken12578]

Read an article that said even people in prehistoric times treat their pets with lots of love. They found a burial site of puppy being buried with its owner of a paleo tombstone.

[@AALamb]

While working from home for a major bank, my recently adopted dog tragically broke out of my yard and was struck by a truck & passed. I told my boss and without missing a beat he told me to take the rest of the day and the next day off with pay to deal with my loss without having me take vacation days. I hated that job but will always have a soft spot for him and the kindness he extended.

[@eviebuggs886]

I'm not a cat mom, I'm a cat's butler. She is like Lego Batman while I'm Alfred.

[@CapnNapalm]

When I was younger, I hand tamed parrots at a pet store. It taught me a lot about respecting animals boundaries since they would bite if I did anything wrong, or they didn’t want to deal with me. After that, pets were always my friends because I feel like that term gives them more agency than calling them my children or babies. It’s splitting hairs (or feathers), sure, but this comment is for the algorithm anyway

[@bottomofastairwell]

This is so real though, because yeah, most animals can really help teach you about boundaries. I love that about cats actually, the fact that they have very clear boundaries and will happily use violence to communicate when you've crossed them. And I joke sometimes about how I don't trust people who don't like cats, because a lot of times it's dudes who don't respect boundaries. It's only kind of a joke

[@CottonCandyPops]

Dependent, ward, or roommate who doesn’t pay are all terms I have used to describe my pets because they’re definitely my responsibility, but I was raised to see and respect their autonomy. I view my adoption of them as a way of providing a good life when the alternative can often be so much worse, and in return I get their gratitude in the form of good company and lots of cuteness 😊

[@CapnNapalm]

@@bottomofastairwell Yeah. I've noticed that people who are more controlling of animals tend to not like them. If someone wants a more clingy pet, I can understand an aversion to cats though. Dogs seem to be more for constant companionship in my experience, but I personally really liked that my childhood cat would go do her own thing when she felt like it

[@Evelyn_Okay]

I think another really cool aspects of having a pet is that, over time, you develop a language together. You learn to understand what they want or how they feel without them having to use words

[@BryonyClaire]

Yes! It's such a lovely bond

[@mynamejefffffff]

dogs have been living with humans for tens of thousands of years. there are many studies showing that our relationship with a pet dog is similar to that of a child and their carer, and both humans *and* dogs release oxytocin when interacting, which is a hormone associated with bonding. given all that, it's absolutely wild to me when people are shamed for mourning the loss of their pet! my dog is not some plaything i bought at a shop 5 days ago, she is her own living being that trusts me and shows her affection for me whenever she can. i've had her for 6 years now and can't imagine myself not mourning when she passes. she's like a little sister to me

[@dontnoable]

That spike in pet ownership during the lockdowns. Does anyone remember "lockdown lambs" and "teacup pigs" during the lockdowns? A vet who comes to visit an animal sanctuary in my country (uk) was saying that a lot of those "pets" (lambs and "teacup" pigs (which were always just piglets)) ended up in slaughterhouses after they grew up into large animals and were no longer wanted and because they would run to the bemused workers for comfort on being taken inside the facility, because they were used to turning to humans for comfort if afraid 💔

[@bottomofastairwell]

God that's heartbreaking. My step mother (a woman who literally fit the definition of evil stepmother), got a "teacup" pig when I was a teen and still lived with them (tops was ages ago). And yep, she loved that thing for about 2 months, then quickly decided she hated it because it was just "too obstinate" and she couldn't train it (not that she ever tried) and that out was just a bad animal. You know, because it would do normal PIG things like root around the the bottoms of furniture, eat stuff she didn't want it to, just regular pig shit. But eventually, because she couldn't handle this pig, coz she was expecting it to, I dunno, not be a pig and act like a dog or something, and because it was definitely getting larger than she ever wanted it to, she ended up getting rid of it. Saddest part was, it was a sweet pig too, affectionate and really smart, and it could've still been a great pet if she'd just loved it for what out was and gotten over the idea that our was gonna basically be another dog. We even lived in the country, the woman had horses, so I dunno how she decided she just couldn't make it work, but that's the kind of person she was unfortunately.

[@dontnoable]

@@bottomofastairwell omg I'm so sorry. That's very sad for the pig. I was surprised to hear from my local sanctuary that "teacup" pigs are not a thing, they're just little because they're literal baby pigs who will grow into full size pigs. I hope the "trend" fizzles out, as much as it is cool people realise how awesome and affectionate pigs can be! 🐖💕

[@zedlynk7235]

😺 Honestly I don't want kids, ever. I have endometriosis so I thought that would be a convenient excuse to get sterilized but I have been met with a lot of rejection, with medical professionals thinking I'm to young (I'm pushing thirty) or what if I get baby fever in 10 years... For me my cat and future pets will be the only "babies" I'll ever have as they are entirely dependent on me for food, love and shelter but they are not a replacement for actual children.

[@Baka_Crazy]

Feel that... I don't want to have kids either. I need time for myself. I want to take care of myself. I want to live my life. Can I have that with a baby? Nope! Plus this stupid gender roles annoying me so much. A child needs at least one parent. Better two parents or more. The chromosomes don't fucking matter! I hope you find someone who doesn't see you as a breeding machine...

[@S3lkie-Gutz]

i have endo as well and i hate the concept of baby fever it’s like people get worms in their brain telling them what to do ew

[@zedlynk7235]

@@S3lkie-Gutz And even if it were a thing, why can't people accept that you don't want biological children and that you could adopt a kid?

[@S3lkie-Gutz]

⁠@@zedlynk7235exactly or that you don’t want kids in your life at all? like it really doesn’t concern you at all why snoop around in my life like that. don’t tell people what to do with their life worry about your own yknow? /gen

[@zedlynk7235]

@@S3lkie-Gutz the societal pressure on AFAB people to have kids had me when I was younger, thank God I had negative rizz and never got with a gal who wants kids. Children are a huge responsability, I don't want to mess someone up, you know?

[@vtheory7531]

I think a couple of other reasons why people might think it's cringe to call your pets your 'children' that may not have been mentioned in this video: -projection: some people just did not have good childhoods and they think since they are humans and they didn't receive love, why do pets get to have more love than them? That kind of thought process -pet care Olympics/unrealistic standards: we see pets get full course meals and a 10 step skincare and we go wow these pets are really loved and this elevates the value in the pet owner. Pet owners who may take care of their pets just fine but just not do all the fancy stuff might see these extravagant gestures on social media and feel judged that they are a bad pet owner for not doing the same thing -some really put a lot of value and honor in taking care of children and they feel that taking care of a pet is just not comparable in effort and cost. So calling pets 'children' might make them feel like their efforts around raising children are devalued to mean the same as raising a pet

[@Awaken12578]

I don’t get the skin care for pets? Pets that lack fur or feathers may need it, but dogs and other furry pets only need to be brush (dogs brush and wash).

[@Kingatje]

Having children of my own the last point rings true for me. Which is NOT to say that good pet ownership should be considered "effortless". There's just a clear difference. If you have kids + pets, you know this.

[@SomeplaceScary]

People have been dressing up animals in baby clothes and taking pictures since the invention of the camera, so I really don't understand the people who act like babying your pets is some weird new phenomenon that's indicative of social decline.

[@dogwoodleaf]

18:17 - I wanted to briefly address the “fur dyeing” thing-although I don’t think pet owners should be dyeing their pets’ fur, there is a common practice among Service Dog handlers to dye their SD’s paws or tail a different color to make them easily identifiable if stolen. Service Dogs are commonly in danger of being stolen in public because folks see a well-trained dog and want to snatch it, either for themselves or to sell. If the dog has dyed fur, this makes them much more easily identifiable to police searching for the stolen pup.

[@JustMeAri]

11:00 the shiba wearing kimonos is so freaking cute omg

[@milaces1323]

I was one of the stampede people that answered your survey! I have a big house so 8 of the pets at home are mine and I foster some that are looking for a family 😊

[@BryonyClaire]

Oh wow, you must be so busy! Never a dull moment, what kinds of animals are they? I love that you're also helping to foster pets too, helping give them a second chance 🥰

[@milaces1323]

@@BryonyClaire It is A LOT of work. It is exhausting, expensive and fostering can be emotionally draining. I do not go on holidays, I don't get to do many things because my funds are mostly destined to my pets and rescues. But i regret nothing, I chose this life because despite the growing shift in people, cruelty abounds and they cannot defend themselves. I have four dogs and four cats and I'm fostering two puppies right now.

[@krixkhaos]

My husband and I once visited a friend who had two cats, two dogs, and a toddler. After we left, he kept referring to her place as "the zoo" 😂💀 (She's moved to a different country now, that's why I don't see her anymore.)

[@HaleyMary]

My aunt and one of my friends pet-sits for people. My friend was heartbroken when one of her cats died, so she couldn't handle adopting another one. She still loved being around cats and dogs, so she looks after cats and dogs when her friends need a pet sitter. It works out for her.

[@laurengarcia1023]

Thanks so much for this video. I hate this narrative so much about pets replacing kids..I absolutely love my dogs and have a human child, currently very pregnant with my second. I definitely know the difference, but we often talk about our dogs as our other kids, and my son calls them his sisters. We all know the difference. But we just love our dogs as a family. They bring so much joy and happiness. But they're definitely not the same. They almost always use this narrative against women who choose not to have kids and that deep down they really do, as though we are too dumb to know what we want or assuming we all want the same things. The bigger issue is that as a society, I wish everyone who wanted to have kids could financially afford to do so instead of picking on people who take good care of their pets and don't want kids and treating them like they're stupid. I've always had pets, long before I had kids, didn't change whether I wanted to have children cause it's not the same.

[@jaboi7709]

That’s entirely valid, for me it’s not an actual replacement exactly. It’s I naturally have a very nurturing personality and find fulfillment through raising others. Maybe a wire got crossed in my brain but I find taking caring for cats to be the most fulfilling. So they are filling the role that stereotypically would be filled by a human kid (ie “replace” them). If that makes sense 😩

[@brivargas5083]

When JD Vance made his remark about "childless cat ladies," I just laughed because that's me! I am a huge cat person and am getting prepared to adopt. I also happen to be child free by choice. If that makes conservatives mad it's an added bonus. Jokes aside though, I grew up with a single Mom and a sibling much younger than me. I essentially helped raise them. I've had my experience with that and it was hard.

[@Oneiropolos]

So, probably the most literal devastating loss in my life so far was my male cat that died at around 10 to a skin cancer that is literally so rare there's no treatment and when South Korea tried to do a recent study on it, they only found 4 animals with it in that entire country. My vet took days to call us back because he didn't even know what to make of the biopsy results and had never heard of it and was trying to research it. There was nothing we could do. Nothing. We just had to wait for him to reach the point where he needed to be let go. This was over a year ago now and typing this is still making me cry. I would have done anything - given up years of my life- for him to not have gone through that. I've lost both pairs of my grandparents and I was devastated over them but it wasn't this hellishly slow process that I was helpless over and felt like I should be able to do something but couldn't even explain to him what was happening. I could say goodbye to my grandparents. I was lucky there. They all knew I loved them. My cat didn't know why his pain was increasing. Nothing is ever going to make that hurt less, I don't think. It didn't help that earlier that year, my other cat had passed away due to old age. I was not supposed to lose both of them in one year. I didn't wait that long to adopt another cat, but since all my cats were adult rescues before, I decided to adopt a calico kitten (I've had two pure black cats in my life, a grey cat, a tuxedo cat, and a grey tabby, only one of which was adopted from the humane society, the others literally were starving on the street). I don't think I would have gotten through the pain without her and by picking a mostly white kitten, I didn't have to worry about thinking it was one of my other cats coming into the room when I see her out of my eye and then having to remember they can't come in anymore. It was just too empty in the house with just my dog. I LOVE my dog, don't get me wrong, but I need a cat in my life too. I have bad anxiety and depression and the animals make me function. I can't just stay in bed because they are the bright spots in my life and I NEED to get up and feed them. I also have a black and white bunny who gets a sunroom to himself, and man, I got mad when you described your other boss! Rabbits are -smart-. They have such personality and they'll get depressed and anxious if you don't give them what they need. My rabbit is now 5 and when I step out into the sunroom, he immediately runs over to me and insists I sit down so he can jump into my lap. I'm not allowed to hold him though - he hates it. I can snuggle him and hug him.. but not hold him. He demands to remain in control. Would I like to be able to hold him? Sure. But that's not who he is and he has a right to feel comfortable and safe. It's my job to provide that to him. :) None of my cats have ever been purposely allowed into the room with him just out of concern of what they might do... but somehow a family member shut my previous cat out there with him...and my cat was the one who ended up terrified. My current cat has had one run in with the rabbit and is ALSO terrified of the rabbit so I don't know what my energy my rabbit exudes but.... he's in control of his domain. The point is, of course I'm going to damn well grieve over my animals. I'm still grieving over ALL of the ones I've lost. if I see a picture of them I start crying even if they died 6 years ago. Screw anyone who thinks that's weird. I grieve over humans too, I'm not a sociopath. MY heart is just big enough to care as much for both humans and animals, even if I'm never having kids because why would I risk giving them depression and anxiety? My life's been hard enough. I'm happy with my pets to urge me into remembering to be human.

[@krixkhaos]

I think not being able to explain to them what's happening is easily the worst part about dealing with these sorts of things. I'd give my right hand to be able to explain to them that I love them and I would take away their suffering if I could ❤

[@duchessedeberne3909]

I feel you so much. My first pom had a rare chronical illness slowly destroying his brain. I worked three jobs to pay the best experimental care. And instead to some months he made it to 5 years and many other pets would benefit from his case studied at the university hospital. I still blame myself that I should have done more for him. He was the best grateful boy.

[@marsukarhu9477]

Oh my, all the pictures of people's pets are lovely. I was especially impressed by Gigi & Atlanta's fluffiness 😻😻🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛

[@BryonyClaire]

So cute and fluffy!!

[@chickensoupfordinner]

I’m glad more pet owners are taking better care of their pets. They are living being with feelings and deserve someone doing their best to give them a good home. As someone with cats and a child it’s not the same at all. I love them both but a child takes way more work and is way more intense. I love how my cats were always more independent. They feel closer to friends than a child to me.

[@krixkhaos]

Bryony's face card never declines 💖 My husband and I are childfree by choice and have two cats, Lando and Chewie (yes, named after the Star Wars characters lol) and I love them both so much 🥹 I cannot STAND it when people treat their pets like ornaments or accessories. Chewie comes and curls up on my lap every single night, and often when I shift or make a noise, he chirps and bends his head back to gaze up at me inquisitively, but there's also always this undercurrent of adoration in the way he looks at me, and it makes my heart melt every single time. I don't want children, and I don't equate pets with children, but I most certainly have a RELATIONSHIP with my cats, and it concerns me when other people don't seem to have relationships with their pets because animals are so objectified by them.

[@auna4418]

As a self-proclaimed childless cat lady, I will always think of my pets as my babies. The only issue I have with people 'spoiling' their pets is when people bring dogs with them EVERYWHERE when they're not a service animal, and into places that are clearly inappropriate. I'm talking about a dog that is not well trained, barking at everyone and tugging on the leash (if they're even on a leash) and the owner claims that they're a service dog. Yeah, your service dog just pooped in the middle of starbucks ma'am

[@thefaerieprincessfromhell666]

Yes exactly, it's so annoying that people think it's okay to bring their pets to stores and restaurants and etc. It's just entitled behaviour.

[@dampsocc]

Its genuinely crazy how offended parents get when people don't want children yet no one bats a eye when these parents who can't afford children keep having children

[@z0mb13v32]

I think of my kittens as just...my little house demons?? I love them lol. I bought a small bottle of that Sol de Janeiro body spray and one of them is OBSESSED with it. I have no idea why, but I think it's funny

[@martymcflown3707]

I do think the general phrasing from research surveys of "having pets IN PLACE OF children" says a lot about how our society still puts the heteronormative pressure of settling down, getting married, having 2.5 kids front and center. I don't have pets "in place of" kids. I have never wanted kids and, as someone in my thirties, it's very unlikely I'm going to suddenly develop the desire at this point in my life. I just don't find kids fulfilling the way that so many people seem to, and I know myself well enough to say it's not worth "experimenting" and seeing if that will change upon having them. The way people talk about being around their kids or even their friends'/family members' kids as an affirming thing is how I feel about animals tbh, whereas being around children inspires nothing in me at best and stresses me out at worst. I've had people say my viewpoint is selfish, but I would just never want to put a child in a position where they feel unwanted just to conform to society's pressures on me. I feel like I care more about the well-being of kids than some people I've known in my life who had children only because they felt they "had to" or were "supposed to."

[@thoughtsofanobody]

17:03 I only have 2 issues with pet outfits. If it’s itchy or the pet doesn’t like wearing stuff in general, don’t make them. Otherwise I mind my own business.

[@Sumopian]

It really depends on the animal. I used to be very against dressing them up or treating the as if they were people at all, but some animals do genuinely love the attention they receive from people while they’re wearing outfits. It can be humiliating for some of them, but for others, it can really help them build up their confidence!

[@Dragonmastur]

I had a dog who loved wearing shirts and sweaters, especially in winter. When I picked up the sweater, he would run over two me and ask for me to put it on

[@jacquis947]

personally, i use the wording “i have bunnies” / “I’m a bunny caretaker” to describe having pets. the ownership concept has always been troubling to me as well, because every animal truly has their own identity, experience, needs and wants.. what is the ethic of “owning” a sentient being? or selling animals as well? perhaps people should consider these factors when they approach animal care.

[@BryonyClaire]

I like the caretaker approach, I see it the same way 💝

[@Pomagranite167]

I do prefer "having" to "owning" as well. Though, i do legally own them, i do see them as companions. Even edible animals, as I am not vegan, I don't think those animals live and die to be food. They are their own beings, and while the circle of life will take place- until then, all beings in my care, human, plant, or otherwise, will be well loved and cared for.

[@magnetronmaaltijden]

There is a reason (one of) the first videos ever recorded was one of a young girl cuddling/playing with her cat.

[@PricklyAlpaca]

The way I went BITCH in unison with Spike really shows my brainrot I enjoyed this video so much! 💕 Also love how many J&J clips you used! Watching them care for their animals and foster pups over the years has genuinely made me a better pet mom 😭

[@BryonyClaire]

It's not brainrot - it's a special section of your brain dedicated to tv/movie quotes, a very worthwhile thing! I think those 2 have genuinely done a lot in the space of rescue care 💝

[@amandajay7922]

"Spoiling " pets should be even more normalized because they have ZERO freewill and could end up with the worst kind of people who neglect and abuse them, hungry on the streets or euthanized in a shelter. If we want to love and give our pets everything they need, what's wrong with that? They give us unconditional love and loyalty in return and are here for such a short time❤

[@katiebacon1763]

The only person i know of who got pets to fill the void of kids couldn't have bio kids and couldn't legally foster due to health issues. and i feel like that's a pretty small amount of people out there.

[@katiebacon1763]

also recently my mom almost missed helping me move to another city because our friend's cat ate a shoestring, and it had to be removed by a vet

[@BaiFeng1]

I loved this video, thank you for making the essay and might I add to the "People did not used to spoil their pets 'back than' ": In ancient rome there are gravestones put upfor dogs and by all means, comissioning a gravestone was not THAT cheap. People literally craved their sadness over losing a pet-their familymember!- into stone for us two-thausand years later to read. Many of the epitaphshave very touching inscriptions, like: "I am in tears, while carrying you to your last resting place as much as I rejoiced when bringing you home in my own hands fifteen years ago." Or that famouse picture of a claypot from scandinavia from a thausand years ago with a catpaw imprint. apparently the cat had walked over the pot when the person had finished t, but instead of redoing the pot as long as the clay was still wet the person ahd burned the pot the way it was. The person had not thrown the claypot away but burned it, so it would last hundreds of years for us to find and show in a museum. People had always loved their pets somuch.

[@ThisIsAnnie2002]

I am 22 and several of my friends and coworkers are in the life stage where they should be starting families. Almost 80% of them live either with their parents or barely afford rent. A couple of my close friends struggle with infertility (we think it may be caused by environment pollution) and others just can't afford kids.... one of my coworkers found out she was pregnant last month and came crying to me like a teenager depsite being a married 23 year old woman, because her and her husband recently has to give up their dog due to lack of money and she doesn't know how the''ll manage a baby. We raised some money for her at work, but it's still just dystopian, especially when we compare it to what our parents did at our age... PS most of my friends have degrees 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 we're just so tired of not being able to be adults! Us gen z are being called immature left and right like it's our fault we don't have houses, cars, careers and families...

[@Lsmerb]

12:46 I have learned through having my cats that I do indeed have a maternal instinct, I have just never experienced it for a human. I have done plenty of babysitting and childcare in my life (I’m 27) and watching children makes me feel exhausted- babies crying sends me into fight or flight mode. But when my cat cried at the vet? I just wanted to run to him and comfort him. Id never felt that pull before that other people describe when they hear a baby cry.

[@Byrdstar6423-un3me]

Realistically: yes, you ARE their parents as you've essentially taken the role of parenthood for said pet(s) and are essentially a foster parent

[@sillygo0oser]

I have a dog because I’ve always had dogs, I love them. My first dog (with my boyfriend) came from a shelter. They’re not a replacement for kids because i have no desire for kids, i have a desire to have a dog. And kids are expensive regardless (hospital bills for labor are insane, it cost us $350 for our shelter dog as well as still cheaper vet fees than childcare and appropriate housing costs). Young People getting pets is unrelated to lowbirthrates. Also not sure why it has to be one or the other, i had a gen X coworker who told me (after we had gotten our dog) that pets are a good precursor to kids with a partner. Because, using a dog as an example, how do you and your partner distribute dog chores and management (walks, baths, vet appointments, doggy daycare, training, how do you communicate discipline) between one another as that’s an entire living being. If you have a partner who can’t handle taking care of a dog with you, how do you expect them to work around having a whole child with you? You might be the only active participant.

[@JenniferWalker]

Speaking of taking time off to care for sick pets... I was housesitting for a coworker while she was out of town, and while I was in the shower one morning, her dogs ate an entire bottle of my medication!! Per the vet's recommendation, I took the day off to monitor the dogs for signs of illness. It just happened to be my penultimate day at that job, and I found out later that I had missed my own Bon Voyage party! They didn't even save me any cake. At least the dogs never got sick!

[@inotanzen]

girl you are SERVING this video!! that dress is GORGEOUS ❤❤❤ The makeup is so stunning too!!

[@BryonyClaire]

Hehe thanks! I love this lil second hand find. I always do my makeup before choosing an outfit and spent a good 20 mins trying to find something that it may be able to go with 😅

[@ohladysamantha]

grieving a pet is so under-discussed. i went through it losing my cat (companion) Ginny in January this year and it was devastating. i've since gotten a new cat, Pistachio, and taken the time to truly memorialize Ginny, but it was so hard. 🐈 thanks for being so nuanced and detailed with this topic.

[@not.this.anonymous]

19:49 I HAVE SPENT LIKE TWENTY MINUTES ON THIS BUT I FINALLY HAVE IT - pet carer or pet guardian

[@BryonyClaire]

That's really sweet, I like those options!

[@krixkhaos]

Guardian immediately came to my mind as well

[@kristinab8326]

I can’t decide if my pug should be a spider (so scary) or a butterfly (puggy fly) for Halloween 😂

[@BryonyClaire]

A sputterfly? If they are comfortable in costumes, you may be able to layer the wings on top 😉

[@RhiKlowho]

My parents used to dress our first dog up for Halloween all the time, when I was kid, it was just and old baby costume but it worked.

[@tauntingeveryone7208]

Why not both? A spider butterfly!

[@lextalk925]

I'm going to dress my husky up as the big bad wolf for Halloween!

[@Awaken12578]

I know you love your pug, but I can’t stop crying for them. Breeders really damaged those poor dogs.

[@UnsortedSeeds]

I've got a husky that my younger brother abandoned to me. Yes, she's dramatic and has a crazy personality, but I love her 🐶

[@CosmicPersephone]

22:02 I have a cat backpack and I will not apologise for it. He's a leash trained bengal and the backpack is for safety in case we encounter any dogs

[@BryonyClaire]

Some cats love it - some don't, it's great that your cat loves it :)

[@jadamiller7485]

That part about treating animals like objects sounds like my mom. I remember being upset because she had apparently gotten rid of our "problem child" when my sister and I were away at school without telling us, back when we went. Multiple times. Anyways, I try to make sure my current girly feels loved specifically because of children not feeling loved in past generations. I like to think that when she goes, she'll go feeling loved, and that I was a big part of her life. The pets outside only thing was definitely my great grandparents.

[@bottomofastairwell]

I get the clothes thing and forcing your pet into uncomfortable things they don't enjoy, just because YOU like it. But there's nuance too. My cat has a ton of clothes. But mostly they're coats and sweaters and stuff too keep him warm, because he goes outside a lot and we love where it snows. I walk him on a leash, line a dog, and he LOVES going outside, asks to go out all the time. We go on long hikes in the woods sometimes and that's his favorite thing ever. But when it's freezing and winter, it would be cruel to let him out without something to keep him warm, because he's a short haired cat. And he doesn't mind the coats or sweaters, obviously, coz he happily wears his harnesses all the time. That's the trade off, he gets to go outside, but he also gets to be safe when doing so coz he goes with me. And I know he loves it, he has a button to ask to go outside, and he presses that shit all the time. He'll run down the stairs any time I do like "can I come?" And it breaks my heart when u have to talk him no coz I have to go to work, not for walkies. Anyway, point is that yeah, sometimes things that can seem foolish like strollers or clothes are actually helpful for the animal. And in general, I think as long as the focus remains on what is on the best interest of that animal, then it's all good. In regards to kids: f then kids. I don't want kids, never have. But I've always loved cats too death and bonded DEEPLY to my pets, so I love having my cat. Not as a replacement to a child, because I don't want children. But just as their own thing.

[@charlottemartyr]

I got accused by my boss of “spoiling” or “babying” my cat for taking a day off to take him to the vet and then stepping out a couple minutes the next few days to speak to the vet… bc my cat was so ill they were very worried he’d need surgery. He had a blocked bladder, the worst the vet had ever seen, where he needed a cath and a saline flush to clean out his kidneys. He was in the vets for 3 days and it cost us $2000, and a ton of people I worked with said “that’s ridiculous I’d never do that for a *cat* it’s not like it’s a kid or something” and I legit had to remind people that even if he wasn’t a kid he was a living, feeling thing under my care that would’ve died a terrifying and painful prolonged death without me intervening immediately in the way I did. I even had people say “well maybe for a dog but not a cat” which especially broke my heart bc those people HAVE pets that they love and care about enough to do this for but don’t think MY pet is worth saving the life of. And he had this issue bc he has severe anxiety. Like vet confirmed severe anxiety. He hyperventilates and shakes so bad in the car he foams at the mouth and can’t breathe bc his previous owner threw him out a moving car when they abandoned him. They’re pretty sure he was beaten before too, as he’s incredibly shy of strangers, and especially scared of men other than my husband. He has night terrors and a few people who had previously tried to adopt him brought him back after he scratched or bit them while coming out of a severe nightmare. Now everyone tells me I “coddle” him except crucially my one coworker who tried to act that way with a cat who had anxiety only for him to have a heart attack and die. She said she has always felt horrible and regrets trying so hard to do something that scared him so much, and that she’s especially pissed bc other people pushed her to do it bc “it’s only a cat it’ll get over being bathed and shaved”. Honestly as a disabled person myself I can’t help but project in the opposite direction most people are talking about; I don’t project my own emotions about my condition onto my cat, I look at the ways people treat my cat and realize “this is how people would probably talk about me if it were more socially acceptable”. No one who throws a fit about a cat with anxiety needing meds or a vest or a dog with bad knees in a stroller or an animal that is scared acting that way is probably gonna be all that sympathetic towards a person with the exact same needs, and if anything I feel like a lot of people have always looked at me more on the level of a pet than a peer; everyone assumes they know what I need better than I do and that they have the right to try to force that on me. My dad always said “the way people treat animals tells you a lot. All animals are is something weaker and more defenseless than you. People who mistreat or disregard them will just as quickly do that to people who are weaker and more vulnerable than them”.

[@IledeMontagne]

34:28 I've also seen research that offering benefits doesn't dramatically increase the amount of people having kids. So this is really just to improve the lives of the kids that were already going to exist (which is great!)

[@FairLadySpiny]

Pro tip for my mentally ill friends: ask your doctors to send a letter to your apartment explaining that your animal is an emotional support animal. This does not give them the same authority as full service animals but it can make it possible for you to keep your little friend(s) without paying extra to the landlord :). Btw I work in a psych clinic so I fill out this kind of paperwork all the time. If you are able, seriously look into it!

[@dariasdouble212]

🦦 I have two ferrets! I call them my babies, my dad calls them "the kids." 🥰

[@erinnadia0409]

Aw I love ferrets ❤❤

[@BryonyClaire]

Ferrets are such cute little critters, the do the funniest and cutest things!

[@WhyyesIamallama]

28:32 unrelated to the video, but my grandparents have the same picture hung in their living room. I did a double take.

[@MysticRhythmsYoga]

Thank you for covering this topic ❤ So many rescue dogs have separation anxiety and other trauma responses from just being neglected by owners who don't know what they're doing and leaving them out on the road when they don't want to take care of them or train them. My partner and I have a conspiracy theory that there's a puppy mill-animal shelter-industrial complex at least down here in South Florida. There's also prejudice against some breeds i.e. pitbull and pit mixes (they're illegal), and vets will lie to your face about the breed of your rescue dog. We've also noticed female Pitbull mixes being dropped off in the same suburban neighborhoods every few weeks and we have a theory that breeders abandon them once they're done breeding that particular dog for pseudo illegal litters. Pandemic puppy mills are absolutely horrific. Personally, I'm more of an exotic pet fan. I've taken care of geckos, frogs, rats and fishes before. Bearded. Dragons and turtles were especially popular when I was a kid. I would much rather have a beardy or a turtle than a cat or a dog, but that's just because of my executive dysfunctioning. It is my dream to have a cat one day, but my partner is a dog guy, so we'll see where life takes us!

[@haventpickedanameyet2527]

Honestly the government would have to pay me an obscene amount of money for me to even consider adopting a child, i do not want to create one. Ive never understood baby fever, the closest thing to baby fever ive had is "cat fever" after cat sitting

[@b.c.9358]

🐇 my son boy is my ESA. He is very soft and helps reduce my anxiety.

[@StoryBird2]

I have 0 paternal instinct, in fact I really hate being around children. Not cats tho, or dogs, pets are just so cuddly and cute and they don't annoy me on purpose they're just doing what they do and I LOVE THEM. I didn't even know I liked cats until my family stole one off the street so now I'm living with 2 lovely little kitties and one is with me right now as I write this comment. We don't need to be doubling the population just because baby boomers are dying, we will find a way, and if the government truly wants us to have more kids then LET US AFFORD KIDS.

[@ookamigrrl]

Childless cat lady here. 46 years old with 5 cats. I work from home with a decent paying job. They are spoiled and very loved. I have 2 nephews who come over to my place a lot and they adore the cats and help take care of them. I think that helps them become more empathetic. I'm on the process of getting a divorce and once that is done, I want to get a larger place and foster children. I love both animals and kids.

[@junxu4438]

Because people live much longer, the real replacement rate is about 1.4, not 2.1. All of these countries listed have birth rate above that, they don't have negative population growth.

[@piccalillipit9211]

*maybe we just like pets* I live in Bulgaria now where people still have 2 kids on 1 salary and many 20 year olds have kids, there has been an explosion of ownership of pet dogs Until 10 years ago dogs were working animals in the Bulgarian mindset - I was strange having a pet dog in the city. Now Id say 50% of households have dogs. We even have smaller version than the West, bred for apartment life.

[@L.G.127]

Omg I met another Bulgarian

[@piccalillipit9211]

@@L.G.127 OH IM SORRY - I'm British, but I've lived in Bulgaria for 15 years. In Burgas 😀

[@Iggy253]

People ignore the fact that some people can have both kids and pets. Like my mum for example has 7 children and 3 dogs and she treats the dogs better then her kids.

[@roxycocksey]

I don’t want kids for 2 main reasons. For one, I’m tokophobic. Thinking of pregnancy and birth sends me into a panic attack and I truly really HATE it. Second, I just don’t want to be a mom. I don’t want to parent. I don’t want to take care of someone like that.

[@S3lkie-Gutz]

same, i’m also ocd and have psychotic symptoms(schizophrenia or bipolar II disorder/cyclothymia maybe i am seeing a specialist to sort it out) and get pretty bad parasitic delusions and tactile hallucinations relating to my ocd and tokophobia which triggers psychosis and skin picking/autosacrophagy to “cleanse” myself, i’ve had to avoid relatives and friends parents who are pregnant because i’d end up in the hospital and i avoid my really young cousins and young children in general because im scared of harming them and i know i am capable of potentially abusive or harmful behaviour. it’s for their safety and mine.

[@Stop_It_Just_Stop]

Unpopular opinion: I don’t think there is anything wrong with dying your pets fun colors. I used to think it was wrong, but the dyes are pet safe and to the pet it’s no different from the other steps of bathing/grooming. They just know they’re getting clean and it’s an alternative to putting clothing on your animals for those who don’t like it. Idk, like I said probably unpopular, but I don’t see how this harms the animal in any way…

[@Patchouliprince]

I’m gay and married so yea our pets are our babies, I would die to have human kids of my own but fostering and adoption are so financially out of my reach

[@jaboi7709]

And adoption is unethical and very traumatizing for the child, so yeah let’s sticks to cats 🐈‍⬛💕

[@joshuacoleman8000]

​@@jaboi7709Giving foster children a forever home is unethical? WTF.

[@jaboi7709]

@@joshuacoleman8000 Please do more research about the matter and yes since the point of foster is reunification. Plus again my point is how the system is set up actively harms children. There’s other ways you can have external care for a child without all the trauma and legal problems that comes with adoption.

[@Pomagranite167]

@jaboi7709 social work is a double edge sword. Some of those kids have a deceased and incarcerated parent. Being stuck in foster care is horrible for children, but they generally fare worse than if they were adopted. Of course, how well reunification is supported does depend on the state and county. My state really does fight for reunification, but some parents refuse to get clean, some parents just do not care and are happy to get a load off, some parents will just say "give me my property back", and some really do want to keep custody of their kids but they have been sentencesd to prison for 12 years and their child has nowhere else to go. I know people around here who have dealt with CYS as parents and children. Most were pretty grateful in the end, bc the parents felt they got an opportunity to get their life together to give the kids a life they deserve, and my peers are all very close to their families after their parents got a reality check and became better parents. Adoption happens here when the child simply does not want to return home, the home just continues to be unsafe for the child's return, or there is no home to return to. Of course, i do know there are some states (esp red states) who are more than happy to seperate families and keep them seperated bc they have little grace for the parents and offer them few resources and little support for reunification, and while safe guards keep being added to keep bad actors away from the children, they do slip through the cracks. Adoption in and of itself is not evil. There is so much at play, but there are kids who do want to be loved and adopted, and they deserve to have that. I encourage people to adopt, but I also encourage them to not be delusional, because parenting is always a thankless job, bio kids or not, and children never owe us anything. Some people do it for an ego and image boost, to "save" the kids-- when they should be in it to serve the kids.

[@TheCoralie87]

​@@joshuacoleman8000 👏

[@ki.44524]

even if pets are replacing children who cares. if people wanna care for pets thats good. not all want kids. pets are more manageable, and cute. sure some babies are cute, but i could only care for them in a daycare. certainly not for 18+ years. not stable or mentally stable enough and hate sex and pregnancy

[@FairLadySpiny]

I can feel good about the fact that I rescued my cat and have given him a great “cat life”. I even broke into my abusive ex’s apartment to steal him back because I love my cat, Yoshi, so much. I didn’t know it was possible to love so hard until I adopted yoshi, he brought me back to myself after being abused for years. When it comes to kids tho- I simply cannot give a child the amount of time and money they require to be healthy and well-rounded. I grew up in the 2000s and can still very well remember the financial crisis and what that meant for my family. My parent had to give up so much and work SO hard just to keep a roof over my sibling and I’s head. And due to that fact, I never got to spend much time with my parents when I was young, they always had to work. I love kids and eventually I’d like to have one, but I want to guarantee that I can give my child the basics AND my time. I just got my first “adult” job and I have so many young female coworkers hardcore struggling to raise kids while work.

[@catazoe7535]

my late great-grandma used to leave food out on her street with broken glass in it to kill stray cats because she hated them so much. enjoy your pets y'all you're not hurting anybody.

[@happyzombiikitti]

That's psychopath behavior

[@S3lkie-Gutz]

your great grandmother was showing signs of a serial killer yikes

[@moominmay]

@@S3lkie-GutzIn a way I wish people didn’t post comments like that as so many psychos out here it just gives more easy and brutal ideas to them! 😬

[@R0291-l1l]

22:02 staring sweatily at my cat's carrier/backpack 😅 I actually would take her to more things in it if she enjoyed it but she doesn't so it's just a very convenient carrier I can sling on my back when I need to take her somewhere

[@tross-lj2eb]

🐈‍⬛ first, never apologize for Buffy clips. Second, people give me crap for being vegan and having a cat too, and I think it's a self-defeating purist mindset. Yes obviously I gave up animal products because I can, and my cat cannot because he is a carnivore, but also this all or nothing mindset is killing us! Just by being vegan, that doesn't mean I'm demanding that everyone else do exactly as I do. I just want people to do their best, try harder, learn more, and keep trying. My veganism is not an attack on you, people!

[@BryonyClaire]

The all or nothing mindset applies to so many things, it's like nuance and different needs are lost on people sometimes 😒

[@kelseystone3]

To answer your question - I fully support bereavement from work if you have the privilege to take the time to off when your pet dies. I did have to use some of my vacation time and not time specifically that I would receive for a human family member passing, but I took a whole 6 days off when my cat passed away recently (the day she passed plus a week). And I’m so glad I did. She meant so much to me and the loss/grief has been really no different to losing an important human from my close circle. ❤️ if you can - please take care of yourself when your animal dies. Don’t let anyone shame you or tell you it’s “just” an animal.

[@marypiper171]

19:42 Unfortunately “ownership” aligns with legal issues around pets. In many states, custody laws don’t apply to animals so they have to be considered “property” in civil disputes of who gets to care for a pet. I’m not a fan personally.

[@jekyle4074]

Recently, I heard "Pet Guardian". While I certainly don't love it, I prefer it over "Pet Parent". 🐈🐈🐈🐈🐩

[@elizabethochoa6842]

I have an elderly neighbor who takes his cat for daily walks in a stroller. It's the sweetest thing. I don't know his story or his situation, but I know his cat brings him joy.

[@AmiRiddle]

An interesting background from Poland: So, recently there has been a big discussion in polish media about the language around animals and pets, specifically about using the words to describe their death. So there is a word 'umrzeć' in polish which translates as 'to die' but is used traditionally in association to humans. There is also a word 'zdechnąć' which also translates as 'to die' but is used for animals only (with one very curious exception of bees, according to the national dictionary). 'Zdechnąć' is used to describe animals deaths and cannot be used for humans, unless it's used as a form of an insult. However, some people prefer to describe their pet's demise with the word 'umrzeć'. A language professor wrote an article about this to the press, stating that 'umrzeć' can olny be used for humans and animals can only 'zdechąć' and these are only correct forms. We've had a whole s*itstorm hit the media for a few days of people arguing. Language that we use influences our perception of reality, it is also a flexible, changing tool, so why not change it, so it can describe the reality in more accurate to our feelings way.

[@cgcosh3967]

I refer to my husband and I as grandma and grandpa to our dogs sometimes because they are the 3rd and 4th generation of their line we’ve owned. My husband still mourns our Old Man (grand sire and great grand sire of our two) and Lil Mama (mom and grandma). He misses Mama Bear (Old Man’s mate) for how dependable she was but my daughter and I are the ones who miss her for emotional reasons. These will likely be our last dogs as German Shepherds need multiple long walks every day. If Boyo makes it to 12, we’ll be 70 and 79. I expect we will go back to cats rather than be pet less.

[@hellbound_psyker]

I keep fish, shrimp, and snails, and I love them all with all my heart. I wish actually loving your aquarium pets and not just seeing them as decoration or entertainment were more common. I'm raising one of my snails' babies (around ten or so of them) and I call them my grandsnildren.

[@Sumopian]

For real. Most fish I see people own are unfortunately neglected. They require more care than they let on, and it makes sense! You essentially have to create an entire miniature ecosystem for them!

[@katemueller1359]

i call my cat my son, and i swear he really thinks im his mother. my family and friends have this whole pet family tree. I'm my best friend's dog's aunt. my sisters dogs are my nieces and my cat's cousins, my mom's dog is my brother and my cat's uncle. for us, its just fun and we really do consider them family. i want to have kids someday, but for now I havent found my forever person.

[@HaleyMary]

I love how the most popular pet is cats. J.D. Vance would be screaming his head off. lol! I'm one of those pet parents who love to dress my cat up for Halloween. It's so much fun to go to the store and buy him a different costume every year.

[@payalnagpal2144]

This might be a wild take, but I think in some ways, children are replacing pets. I think about influencers who are constantly posing with their children, dressing them up and using them as props; parading them around to show off how cute they are. And in the whole right wing parents rights discourse, there are people who refer to their children as their property... All this is far more in line with how I would expect people to behave with their pets than their children, although nobody should be approaching their pets that way, either

[@NunofUrbeeznis]

27:10 funnily enough, I also know a lot of people who deliberately decided to have a baby in 2020/21, because both parties were at home any way with the lockdown(s), arguing it would be beneficial for the relationship. I kinda think that is not a bad idea, to have both parents there in the first moments of their kid's life.

[@Szczurzyslawa]

If animal needs or likes wearing an outfit I'm fine with it, but they often really don't enjoy it and it's just the owner's "want" then I'm really against it. Especially with lil cute hoodies for dogs with ears/antenas/anything because it actually messes up with dogs body language communication (with other dogs) and it can be double stressful for them.

[@MoodCandy79]

I got my dog after my mom passed. It wasn't planned, I walked into a pet store "to look at the babies" and he had been ignoring everyone else but got really excited when I walked up. He was a little bigger than my hands cupped and loved this little stuffed kong teddy. I cried in the store, spend my entire savings on him and he helped me work through my grief as I had no one else around really. I have no plan to have kids, and knowing the work that goes into him would be 1000x higher, on top of medical costs, my mental/physical state, and the fact I'm working towards a PhD, kids are a no. I enjoy my dog because he is always happy to go for a walk, to cuddle on the couch when im studying, to play with the cats and be friendly with everyone, and he is always there when im down. Hes excitable, very loving and I wouldn't give him up for anything. When he passes I am going to be destroyed, sure enough I will NOT be going to work or classes. Every time I even think about it I cry because he has effected my life so positively.

[@lauraazure6462]

I love my cats and have just never wanted children and I make that clear with everyone I date and that often cuts my relationships short 😅