He’s “Not Sure" He Can Commit to You? These Words Put YOU in Control (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

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Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey

4 жыл бұрын

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I post new dating advice for women every Sunday.

"I’m not sure if I’m ready for a relationship with you right now...”
Nobody wants to hear these words.
Especially when it’s coming from a guy you genuinely like.
Someone you’ve invested time and energy in... and someone you think could be THE person for you long term.
It leaves you wishing he could just get over his indecision…
If that sounds familiar, then I have the simple solution right here:
Because, there IS a right way and a wrong way to handle this situation...
The wrong way is to try and convince him of all of the reasons you’re a great fit (even if all of these reasons are true). Because it can accidentally push him further away...
The right way to handle this situation is to meet his confusion with love and kindness, but also strength and respect for yourself.
(Because here’s the crazy thing: this is actually a phenomenal opportunity to demonstrate YOUR status as a high-value woman who he risks losing… )
Produced by MATTHEW HUSSEY & JAMESON JORDAN
Written by MATTHEW HUSSEY
Animation by MICHELLE GARCIA
►► FREE download: “9 Texts to Get Any Man” → www.9texts.com
►► FREE download: “5 Compliments to Get Him Addicted to You” → www.SayThisToHim.com
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Blog → www.gettheguy.co.uk/blog/
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Пікірлер: 687
@91clarie
@91clarie 4 жыл бұрын
People who want to, find ways. People who don't, find excuses. Simple as that. Don't settle for people who don't really want you.
@aishwaryashrivastava7979
@aishwaryashrivastava7979 4 жыл бұрын
Amen to that
@chanseypie4310
@chanseypie4310 4 жыл бұрын
Im agree with this
@nathandavies9861
@nathandavies9861 4 жыл бұрын
Don't settle for the top 1% guy who doesn't want you. Bottom 99% of men who do want you: "Sorry I have a boyfriend" Isn't life funny
@91clarie
@91clarie 4 жыл бұрын
@@nathandavies9861 I was not only talking about romantic relationships but relationships in general. Like if someone from your own family treats you like crap, you should also cut them out of your life regardless if they're related to you, how long you've known them etc. If people can't see your worth, they're not worth being in your life.
@annamc3993
@annamc3993 4 жыл бұрын
Wise words 91Claire you sound a very special person
@glendass5
@glendass5 4 жыл бұрын
“I want someone who knows what they really want, that’s what I deserve.”- I said those words to the guy I was dating and I walked away. Now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been (: loving myself !
@bjewel3751
@bjewel3751 4 жыл бұрын
Glenda San congrats 💗
@mynkmoonsun8678
@mynkmoonsun8678 4 жыл бұрын
Ya that's why your on KZbin watching Mathews videos..... mmhm
@bjewel3751
@bjewel3751 4 жыл бұрын
Nathan Munson because sometimes it’s good to reflect and get good perspective on the past by getting insight, duh
@mynkmoonsun8678
@mynkmoonsun8678 4 жыл бұрын
@@bjewel3751 just sounded funny but I totally get that. No dig, and keep it up! I just left a girl after 8 years and I feel free af and giggle every day.
@fernandabravo3343
@fernandabravo3343 4 жыл бұрын
Did you do no contact afterwards?
@claudiavalencia2322
@claudiavalencia2322 3 жыл бұрын
The message is not for you to get the guy back. It's for you to earn your self respect and value.
@sharonchepkorir3571
@sharonchepkorir3571 3 жыл бұрын
💯
@douglascampbell4993
@douglascampbell4993 3 жыл бұрын
100%
@hollaholla7246
@hollaholla7246 4 жыл бұрын
I sat down a guy that I was dating for 3 months about what his intentions were and i didn’t want to waste time if he didn’t want to be w me. He said he wasn’t sure about being in a committed relationship and he felt like we moving too fast so I told him that since the new year is just around the corner, I want to start the year with feelings of joy and happiness. So If he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me then it’s ok. I want him to be happy too so my door is open for him to go out and figure it out. I will continue to date and find my happiness. Whenever he’s ready let’s just hope I’m still here. I gave him a week to think about it. Fast forward after a week he did come back and now we are in a committed relationship. So this does work if the guy really don’t want to lose you otherwise if he doesn’t, you’re actually doing yourself a huge favor by eliminating guys who are just gonna waste your time.
@issac7787
@issac7787 4 жыл бұрын
I'm a guy, and can confirm this is best thing to do. trying to force the guy to be in relationship is only going to drive him away
@jenniezhang4383
@jenniezhang4383 4 жыл бұрын
Going to do this on this weekend!
@kaidouchekaidoucha7723
@kaidouchekaidoucha7723 3 жыл бұрын
This is wrong he is in relation with you but he didn't marry you he is using you..
@yanagonzalez6697
@yanagonzalez6697 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for writing about your experience.. I needed strength to let someone go because 6 months in and he says he feels confused... As you said, if he really cares he will coma back, otherwise he never meant to stay either
@George-ke1mg
@George-ke1mg 2 жыл бұрын
and you wonder why your single... 😆
@laurened6505
@laurened6505 Жыл бұрын
I asked him if he needed space. He said yes and added he does not think he can be a good partner to me. I walked away. Easiest breakup ever. No contact for 10 days and not planning to chase him. It hurt horrible the first 3 days but it is the most empowering thing I've done. Thanks Matthew for helping me keep dignity and self respect.
@Progress_Not_Perfection
@Progress_Not_Perfection 4 жыл бұрын
If you love someone, let him go .... If he comes back, he's yours. If he doesn't, he never was ... ! ❤
@De23Rosa
@De23Rosa 2 жыл бұрын
Wise words
@msBbee-oq7im
@msBbee-oq7im 2 жыл бұрын
I believe that I heard or read that saying in a book decades ago by John Livingston. Great saying!
@jessielabis3551
@jessielabis3551 4 жыл бұрын
My situation 2 months ago. This is exactly what I did. He came back because he said he can’t afford to loss me. I asked him what he wants from me and he said “all of me” but of course I want action more than words. Thanks Matthew 🙌🏼
@jessielabis3551
@jessielabis3551 4 жыл бұрын
Oluwaseun thank you much in advance 🙏🏼
@seb_boy3486
@seb_boy3486 4 жыл бұрын
Jessie Labis Thanks for sharing your story. Just curious as to how he came back? Was it him who reached out over text after some time?
@jessielabis3551
@jessielabis3551 4 жыл бұрын
Stephan G Yes he reached out. He called and texted me.
@dellcroydon
@dellcroydon 4 жыл бұрын
So I struggled with how a guy was feeling towards me, we got on so well and then he became distant so I watched this video and repeated this. At the time it seemed like it failed, I read comments on here to check if it had worked for others but having said it, I failed to believe it. The guy said he didn’t want to walk away but having thought about what I had said, I was right and it was for the best. I felt an idiot for having followed this video because I thought I could have kept him around even if he was less interested, if I hadn’t of done that. After a few days, I missed him and speaking to him but I grew to really respect myself for walking away from something that gave me anxiety and made my head race with questions of what was I doing wrong. I would never have done this before, been confident in myself to be the one to walk away, I’d always think being extra kind would suddenly make them change their mind. I saw a new side to me, a new respect in myself and I thought even if I came away without something with this guy, I came away having learnt something and stronger as a person. Perhaps this was the lesson that was the reason he came into my life. Since then I got to talking to other guys and finding connections with other people. I would think about him now and again but told myself if it wasn’t meant to be, that’s because there’s someone else out there. With the ease of lockdown I was able to plan dates and met up with a guy on Saturday. We had a great date and I felt like it was nice to have that bit of added confidence to just be myself. The following day the guy text me and told me whilst he really loved the date, had a great time and found me really lovely, he just felt something was missing. I cried out of feeling like there won’t be anyone for me but I replied honestly and told him, you can’t like everyone and he shouldn’t apologise. I had a lovely time and whilst it was a shame he felt this way I respected his honesty and was lovely to have met him. He really respected this attitude and I don’t think I could have been so honest to myself and to him without having had the previous experience of walking away from that previous guy. Within half hour of this text from my date, the original guy he respected myself to walk away from - text me...after 6 weeks of not speaking. He said how he knows we decided to part ways but he wanted to tell me how I looked incredible in my profile picture. I replied with a closed message to say I hope he was well and we continued to send each other closed messages as if we were finishing the conversation to be polite. He went on to tell me he had genuinely missed me and had recently downloaded a dating app to only find it made him miss me more and he’d thought about me a lot. We finally decided to put what happened before behind us and start talking again. It feels nice to have had him text me after six weeks and that perhaps this video did work out for me. Perhaps having self respect and confidence in myself left him feeling like I’d made a mark on him. It’s only been a couple of days but I’m making a lot more of a conscious effort to be chilled and relaxed about things. Enjoy the moment and not think ahead. I wanted to leave this comment here because I know when I was searching for an answer of what to do, and then came across this video, I looked for feedback in the comments to give me hope it works. Even if it hadn’t of made him come back, it helped me to discover more of a self respect for myself and I do believe that you walk away on good terms that the other person will respect you too regardless of the outcome.
@dellcroydon
@dellcroydon 4 жыл бұрын
Also wanted to say, that people in the comments have made a point of saying how manipulative it is towards the man. I think I needed time to convince myself of the self respect I deserved to give myself before I told the guy these words. Therefore, from me, I never felt I was being manipulative because I found truth and honesty in saying them. I said them with genuine conviction and belief. I wasn’t saying so much as a script with no feeling behind it, I had to make sure I believed that’s how I truly felt before I said it to him and I was therefore speaking with honesty and from my heart. Perhaps that’s where the difference may also lie in whether it works out or not, if you truly believe the words you are speaking and it’s not just an empty meaningless script you are reeling off. Make sure you genuinely believe the words you are saying before you speak them.
@liannagonzalez5555
@liannagonzalez5555 3 жыл бұрын
I’m so happy to read this comment that you took the time out of your day to say. It spoke to my heart on a different level because I wish I had the strength and dignity to say this to a man. A part of me was convinced he was lying to himself, anything than what he literally said “I don’t know what I want right now, I like you but I’m not sure about a relationship.” Every inch of me wanted to tell him to go figure it out but I was scared to communicate how I felt. Eventually we stopped talking and a couple months go by and he came back into my life. However this time I put my foot down and told him he had his chance. In just a couple of months I had met someone new, something unexpected actually. I don’t know where it will lead it’s just the beginning but I’m not going to ruin it by allowing the past to try again. It wasn’t easy telling him no , I cried too. But this experience helped me realize I’m worth more than a time passer. Some women like that don’t get me wrong, just not my style. It’s kinda crazy though he told me things I’d wish he said when we were dating. Oh well, we live and we learn. Thanks Holly !
@sonaleep5349
@sonaleep5349 3 жыл бұрын
@@liannagonzalez5555 Being in a limbo for too long can really suck up all your energy . Its always better to have some timelines and move on with your life . If its meant to be , it will be . Believing that , we should move on positively. We deserve guys who know what they want. Hope your new relationship is going well ! 😊
@vincylau8031
@vincylau8031 2 жыл бұрын
Hi! how is it going with your guy one year later? I actually experience something similar recently, would love to chat with you
@waheyna
@waheyna Жыл бұрын
Best comment of all time. This gave me new life and joy to keep choosing myself and to not feel guilty for choosing myself ❤ thank you so much
@priscylamello7149
@priscylamello7149 4 жыл бұрын
I did allll you said in the video. Exactly like this. He sent more 5 messages in 3 months but none of them saying that he decided. The last time he did it, I blocked him.
@AlpheaMariae
@AlpheaMariae 4 жыл бұрын
Priscyla Mello Please go watch sheraseven1 Videos on KZbin . You will never look back 🌸
@dzdoris
@dzdoris 4 жыл бұрын
Then he's not the one for you x
@priscylamello7149
@priscylamello7149 4 жыл бұрын
dzdoris yes, he is not. And If I didnt take this position, he would keep me there, forever. I had the answer that I need.
@priscylamello7149
@priscylamello7149 4 жыл бұрын
AlpheaMariae what she talks about?
@AlpheaMariae
@AlpheaMariae 4 жыл бұрын
Priscyla Mello kzbin.info/www/bejne/q3zHm3eGopeVhMU
@clarabow2479
@clarabow2479 4 жыл бұрын
Let’s face it, almost every man who says this already knows he doesn’t want you and any woman’s best plan is to just walk away. No bitterness or recriminations, just let him go. He was never meant for you.
@stevehehn
@stevehehn 4 жыл бұрын
We may really like you but the moment we feel you're trying to get something out of us, we're repelled. There's zero upside to monogamy for us til much later on.
@clarabow2479
@clarabow2479 4 жыл бұрын
Steve Hehn - that’s a perfectly reasonable assessment and I think it’s true of all of us, man or woman.
@iStorm-my5fp
@iStorm-my5fp 4 жыл бұрын
Exactly, all this spiking of emotions to some1 who just told u they dont want to be with you is just too much
@mgxtra4846
@mgxtra4846 4 жыл бұрын
Steve Hehn Is there any upside to monogomy for women in the modern world unless they want kids/family? Nope.
@nofybn7794
@nofybn7794 4 жыл бұрын
@@stevehehn What is much later on? Zero upside? Very wrong.
@Exotixa
@Exotixa 4 жыл бұрын
I had to go through something like this. The underlying idea is that he doesn't want to pursue a future with you. You can be angry and all that you desire, but its okay at the end of the day. We all deserve someone who loves us completely, with no doubt.
@suzanneross6034
@suzanneross6034 3 жыл бұрын
Just had to leave my boyfriend after 3 years of him being unsure . I deserve someone who is sure and he deserves to be happy too . . This video resonates with me so much . Thanks Matt
@mizzcrazygal
@mizzcrazygal 2 жыл бұрын
i know i’m a year late but same! my bf said hes 100% sure he doesn’t see a future with me & told me to meet someone else. so i deleted him
@Gigi-rg7xy
@Gigi-rg7xy 2 жыл бұрын
Same here girl . 3.5 years later and a infant and he’s unsure that he wants to marry me or have another kid in the future. What sucks is that I’m in my mid thirties. I have to start all over again with a child. I never thought this would be my outcome. So heartbroken 💔 😞
@elianncohen1
@elianncohen1 2 жыл бұрын
I did this about a week ago with a guy that kept saying he had feelings for me but didn’t want to stop seeing other people. This was so painful to do and all week I’ve been doubting myself, but I also know that I want someone who is sure of me, that sees my value and wants to invest in me. It’s not fair to negotiate all of my needs because he’s confused and indecisive. The hardest part in all of this is hoping that he’ll text/call wanting another chance for something more serious, but every day that passes with radio silence is SO hard.
@mariana4095
@mariana4095 Жыл бұрын
What happened?
@Cookingwithkryskrys
@Cookingwithkryskrys 4 жыл бұрын
No amount of clever text messages will make a non interested man interested if HIS truth is that he's just not interested. You don't need to "coach" a man into wanting you. The interest is either enough or it isn't. If a man tells you he's unsure, do yourself a favor and be SURE in that moment that he's not the right man for you. Life is too short to wait or settle for the 1 man on earth that's not into you. Rejection hurts, but waiting is more torture bc you know deep down that your love story will never be that the man saw your worth the 1st round/time. Not all love will be a fairytale, but the least you can do is not settle for the "maybe" and "on hold" type 0f love. Waiting for someone to love you back is the most unkind thing one can do to themselves. Have the dignity, self esteem and self worth to only want who wants you and to walk away when you're left hanging by yourself.
@laraking804
@laraking804 4 жыл бұрын
Krys B This needs to be an actual conversation not a text. Are you young ones so afraid of human interaction?
@DarkCloudLightFF7DCL
@DarkCloudLightFF7DCL 2 жыл бұрын
What about when they do love you ? I loved my ex so much, though I was wracked with fear from all angles of my life just like this guy. I was always a late bloomer and we dated from 23-27. We got very comfortable with each-other and after awhile we forgot how to communicate. Both of ours lives became very stressful after Covid and we made it work by always trying to help the other person be happy . We tried so hard to make it work - though she called it off when is and her life got to be too much(me unsure about marriage among other unspoken things ). Now I want to try to make it work, I always felt a breakup would be the kick in the pants I needed to take real steps for myself. Now, I just don’t know what’s what anymore and what’s worth it. You get to these help videos and comment threads and you hear so much from all sides. “If he was never there in first place, he doesn’t deserve you!” “Don’t look back let her go if she dumped you”, etc blah blah. I think there is such grey area where love can still work no matter what anyone says. Doesn’t mean it will happen, or is meant to be. Though I’m taking this time to really work on myself and hold myself accountable for everything. Take whatever she did out of the equation so I can look at this from a level head. I don’t see the harm in trying again, especially if it’s with honest intentions. If I’m able ever to reestablish contact and it goes well, I want to propose the idea of dating again. Not getting back into a relationship, though getting to know eachother again. I’m not the same boy I was at 23, ive loved a great woman for three and half’s years, and now experienced heartbreak. She was always afraid of wasting time and years would go by and I’d never want to get married, so when she finally had the confidence that was the end of us. I wouldn’t want to waste her time, I’d let her be free to heal and date. If she dated around at least she has options to feel secure. Though if she could date me as well, and we could spend each date talking about a future together and communicate, instead of getting lost in each other. I’d want to be an option, not one to hold her back but to be carefully considered as she navigates the things in her own future she needs to work on and achieve
@SVAsianPhilippinesGo6858
@SVAsianPhilippinesGo6858 4 ай бұрын
Why do people always think they can do better. It makes no sense. Some people are a 4/10 and acting like they are a 7-9/10. Really weird.
@xdxdxdxd4575
@xdxdxdxd4575 4 жыл бұрын
Once he pulled away it has a reason. He is not sure about you. Doesn't matter why. It can be because of multiple dating or anything else. The thing is just... he doesn't want a relationship with you! If you say that it gives him a privilledge to call you and be with you, when he feels alone or sorta and again... you hanging on a limbo. Or waiting for a commitment which never happens, becasuse he already knows that you always welcoming him in your life. Plus my experience from my emotions: If I do not stop and make it clear for him (and with it also towards myself) that "it is over" I start to think, that it is not over, and create an emotional limbo with it for myself as well.
@xdxdxdxd4575
@xdxdxdxd4575 4 жыл бұрын
@@123451234596 Yes, I would agree on that... But never ever happened with me that they guy texted me because he wanted a relationship afterwards, just wanted to hang on to 'something"... She might say this, but his ears regist: "good to know, that I can go back for that something. I also know, that they think, one they have someone it is easier to lay down her aftrewards and that is why they come back. If he truly wants you. he never put you into a limbo at the first time! Never!!! Or, if he likes you, he says why. otherwise it is just something I cannot tolerate.
@thecurrentmoment
@thecurrentmoment 4 жыл бұрын
I disagree, sometimes women want a relationship and are sure by they just don't give the guy what he needs to be certain - maybe she is not giving him the support he really needs to be confident about a relationship, or she is holding back on expressing her feelings. Whatever it is, he is not confident enough to be 100% in it, whereas if she gave him what he needed to be confident then he could be all in. I guess it would be a case of a woman not being clear to him that she is all in and has his back. Many women do this, they want to know how a guy feels about her without letting him know how she feels about him AND showing it (action speaks louder than words).
@thisanonymous5956
@thisanonymous5956 4 жыл бұрын
Let him go and don’t let him waste your time. I had no intentions of being in a relationship when I met my boyfriend and he said the same. When we met, all that went out the window and we’ve been together a year. If you’re worth it and he’s worth it, you’ll find a way to make room in your life and heart for them. Don’t fool yourself.
@SVAsianPhilippinesGo6858
@SVAsianPhilippinesGo6858 4 ай бұрын
Wow lucky. BOTH wanted it that badly.
@kt9l
@kt9l 4 жыл бұрын
Nah, best to move on. He's just not that into you. It's like setting yourself up for him to settle.
@ekbergiw
@ekbergiw 4 жыл бұрын
Exactly, he might not be that into her. That's why she has to be prepared if he rejects her in a confrontation like this.
@5602KK
@5602KK 4 жыл бұрын
Agreed I feel like this video is suggesting game playing
@jungkookslambskewers9025
@jungkookslambskewers9025 4 жыл бұрын
@jugy preach
@nennen5928
@nennen5928 4 жыл бұрын
That’s exactly what I heard when he said “I’m not ‘sure’ I’m ready for a relationship “. What he really meant was “I’m not ‘sure’ I’m ready for a relationship with ‘you’ “. It’d be different if he said “ I think we’re moving too fast” then this explanation would make sense. He’s just not sure what he wants. Idk maybe that’s just me
@kpjlflsknflksnflknsa
@kpjlflsknflksnflknsa 4 жыл бұрын
Hmmm... Not necessarily. I wasn't ready to commit to my gf at the time she asked me to but eventually I did and now we're very happy together. Sometimes work and other external commitments do actually get in the way of a relationship. It's not always an excuse concocted by men who want to string a woman along.
@fishcanon8141
@fishcanon8141 4 жыл бұрын
To be honest, usually if this usually happens, no matter what you say, things won’t change. The only thing I agree about this video is that you shouldn’t beg or try to convince the other person to stay.
@laraking804
@laraking804 4 жыл бұрын
Fish Canon the video at no point is claiming this is a scheme to get him back. The whole point of the video was rather to set yourself free for better things
@fishcanon8141
@fishcanon8141 4 жыл бұрын
Lara King I also didn’t say the video alleges there’s a scheme to get him back. But I bet a lot of people who were watching this video secretly hope there’s a way to get him back. That’s why I pointed this out.
@MrLoowiz
@MrLoowiz 4 жыл бұрын
@@laraking804 What many people here don't get is that this video is not about what's best for the women, but about what's best for both people in the relationship. The amount of hateful comments and women undervaluing men feelings in this comment section just reflects how poorly the video got the message across, with all due respect to Matthew.
@ValDokic
@ValDokic 4 жыл бұрын
I’ve alwayssssss said this: “it’s not that they don’t want to be in a relationship. They just don’t want to be in one with YOU.” Hard pill to swallow but it’s so true! Men know when they want to be 100% in - shouldnt have to take convincing.
@victoriaalves9173
@victoriaalves9173 4 жыл бұрын
Valentina Dokic not exactly. Maybe he just got out of a abusive relationship and needs time to digest all of this. I've seen a lot of relationships that in the beginning one of the parts didn't know exactly what wanted and now are together and assumed. There is not a formula for this.
@joshuafalade4754
@joshuafalade4754 4 жыл бұрын
Valentina Dokic I feel absolute trust is overrated in a relationship, smartness is also very important. There’s a popular saying that “don’t trust too much because that too much might hurt you so much”. My greatest disappointment was discovering my wife cheating on me through the help of Cyberhackingsage who helped cloned her cellphone and i was able to read all her messages and uncover my wife’s infidelity without having to touch her phone. All i did was share my wife’s number with Cyberhackingsage and i got access to her Facebook, WhatsApp and text messages both deleted and incoming ones with a link on my phone. Thanks to Cyberhackingsage, now i have enough evidence for my divorce. You can contact them ( cyberhackingsage@gmail )Or Text/Call them on +14242362391. Thank me later.
@tuzisyy
@tuzisyy 4 жыл бұрын
Exactly men are way more calculating then you can realise.
@MrLoowiz
@MrLoowiz 4 жыл бұрын
I agree. Thank you for being understanding, and not acting like so many entitled and bitchy women in this comment section, saying things like "he's not worth your time", or "you deserve better than him". Respect each other choices - the same goes for men who get rejected, get over it and move on.
@gentlebabarian
@gentlebabarian Ай бұрын
You completely missed the point if the video....
@ER-zx6gs
@ER-zx6gs 4 жыл бұрын
Just something I really need to hear to confirm that what I did was the best. Thank you, Matthew! I have told a guy that he needs to know what he wants in his life and to sort out whatever issues he is having right now before he really can commit to me. I truly do love him and wants him to be happy but at the same time, I cannot wait on him and put my life on hold when he is clearly not ready. If we are meant to be together, we will be together. But at the time being, I'm going to love myself first.
@PruulKristiina
@PruulKristiina 3 жыл бұрын
This is a GREAT video, Matthew, thank you! I'm completely lost, however, in a situation where the reason for him not being ready to commit is a fresh break-up from a previous long relationship or whatever EXTERNAL reason, not the reason that he's just not sure in his feelings or that something is "wrong" with me or us. And, making things even more complicated, when the external reason keeps on creeping up monthly and brings us back to the same conversation over and over again. After the conversation he seems clear and things get better but in a month we're back in the same conversation and again back at his confusion. He himself makes an effort not to end the relationship but then again, in a month, back at the confusion. I cannot keep on having these talks every month, it gets repetitive and burdensome for both parties.
@rosealinia1639
@rosealinia1639 3 жыл бұрын
I wrote down your words! I feel like I’m about to use them soon. Thanks for making me relationship-aware Matt. X
@Greenock78
@Greenock78 3 жыл бұрын
I recently followed this and its been almost 3 weeks of no contact. I'm refocusing on myself and if I never hear from him, my self worth by showing my maturity in what I said to him gave me my closure to move on
@iamhis4749
@iamhis4749 2 жыл бұрын
I used this saying today. My bf was acting all distant and pulling away from me. I love him and i genuinely want him to be happy, with or without me (preferably with me) but i was prepared for both outcomes. He was sort of half hearted in his responses and very defensive at first and he was saying that i didn't understand him.. etc I told him that i was trying to understand and then i said what you suggested in this video and it changed his whole view. It didn't take him weeks or months or year's. He literally changed soon after i said it and then all that love within him started pouring out. He knew that i genuinely wanted his happiness over all and that i also valued myself enough to let him go and honour myself and what i deserve at the same time. The change in him was huge. Thankyou Matthew, for the very helpful advice. Hopefully now, we can move forward and have a harmonious life together.
@brendastahl7291
@brendastahl7291 2 жыл бұрын
I’m actually doing this tonight. I had these words written out, much less succinctly, so many times. Hearing this again made me see it’s just so easy and available. The freedom to not be bound by every day in question - more than it would be with any secure and healthy relationship, has given me wings. I will certainly update on how it goes, but I also feel as if, in my situation, we’ve been together for almost 2 years. Kids on both sides (both single parents) and we both spend time with each other’s kids (me more than him, hence the need for this talk). Kids have met a few times - but aren’t bound by any means. The sheer slowness of it all and lack of true commitment has debilitated me - and we’ve done the timeline to decision thing before. It didn’t really go as I planned - after not leaving but giving a timeline, and then agreeing on things at the timeline, I still didn’t leave when there was no movement towards what we then had both agreed to. I feel like empowering him with a “I’ll give you ___ to think about it,” just gives him more power and also I know he won’t abide by it. My one question - for those that did this, and saw positivity come from it in your relationship (I realize it’s positive for ourselves no matter what), what was your interaction with them during this “time to figure it out?” Did you completely no contact ? Did you just respond sometimes? I can’t imagine staying friends - as I know mine would likely settle into some weird non relationship friend with benefits routine. What did you do during the space regarding interacting with them???
@anon_ya
@anon_ya 2 жыл бұрын
I am doing this now and requested no contact, because it’s easier for both of us to have clarity.
@shinebabyshine.
@shinebabyshine. Жыл бұрын
How did things turn out for you, Brenda?
@Lapastel37
@Lapastel37 4 жыл бұрын
That's exactly where I am in at now. Thanks! That's why he's insisting to stick as a friend. He wants to make sure I don't get away too much
@fajaranuar4333
@fajaranuar4333 4 жыл бұрын
Good stuff. Since he's neither being black or white about her, she just matches him where he's at. Strong, respectful & high in standard.
@lynnettewells4178
@lynnettewells4178 4 жыл бұрын
Great guidance for those of us who have dealt with this before. It is kind and not manipulating and lets him know that you aren't going to keep investing time into someone who doesn't know how they feel. However, I do have to say sometimes they do come back and say they want to be with you but end up not putting effort into it...they just didn't want to be alone and when another woman caught their attention...I got ghosted because they didn't have the guts to tell they didn't "love me" anymore...he just told all his friends and family instead and her too...
@vf8653
@vf8653 4 жыл бұрын
I did that after 2,5 years (we were in a "formal relationship", but he was never 100% sure of anything), a month later he was already dating another person... Some guys are just way too coward to take responsibility of their own feelings, the sooner you leave a doubtful one FOR GOOD, the better. Less waste of time and less self-esteem damage. I wouldn't bother on keeping doors open, most likely they would come back in panic mode (if they do at all), to do the same shortly after. It's just never going to work and you simply deserve better
@kimberlyfeliciano4375
@kimberlyfeliciano4375 4 жыл бұрын
Matthew loved that! So simple but so many emotions tied up in that conversation. The place of love and strength is the best place to be. Xo
@alicetriff7747
@alicetriff7747 Жыл бұрын
Strange this video was recommended to me because I did this almost word for word the other week. The communication felt amazing, it was the best way to let him go.
@mindyyfreshh
@mindyyfreshh 4 жыл бұрын
I always enjoy these cute little cartoon skits! They make the information light hearted enough to understand because sometimes dating advice can feel overwhelming when you're in a dating rut.
@JenX422
@JenX422 4 жыл бұрын
Most dating situations are meaningless encounters with no real possibility of a future.Period. Point blank.
@sudimohamed7183
@sudimohamed7183 4 жыл бұрын
You so right. Most are meaningless.
@nofybn7794
@nofybn7794 4 жыл бұрын
SO RIGHT.
@oncerain
@oncerain 4 жыл бұрын
im just gonna hit u with this one 9+10=21
@MrLoowiz
@MrLoowiz 4 жыл бұрын
What do you mean "meaningless"? Can't you enjoy the moment? Not all dating has to be a "live happily ever after" situation, that's a very naive and childish point of view.
@user-mb9jx5tx9y
@user-mb9jx5tx9y 3 жыл бұрын
Sad truth
@fhayat7
@fhayat7 4 жыл бұрын
Just your voice calms me down and makes me happy. Thank you Matthew
@dianaverano7878
@dianaverano7878 Жыл бұрын
" you are right" Yup. Im gonna use those words. Thanks for this video Matthew. " you are right, i have to give you a space to think about if you want a relationship. And if you want a relationship with me."
@AdrienneStarr
@AdrienneStarr 4 жыл бұрын
Um first of all NEVER care about a man who doesnt care about YOU more. Care about yourself ladies💋
@redheadedfreckles2
@redheadedfreckles2 4 жыл бұрын
AdrienneStarr ❤️
@danielogboru8808
@danielogboru8808 4 жыл бұрын
Vice Versa!!!!!
@williamlevy6964
@williamlevy6964 4 жыл бұрын
That's all you care about anyway you narcissistic devils. Lmao
@AdrienneStarr
@AdrienneStarr 4 жыл бұрын
@@williamlevy6964 how about this, when men start caring, we will follow the lead⭐
@williamlevy6964
@williamlevy6964 4 жыл бұрын
You won't follow the lead until Armageddon when most men die. Lmao. Women don't respect men who don't fear raping them. Harsh truth.
@sideah
@sideah 2 жыл бұрын
I was dating someone who suddenly became unsure. We broke up. It was amicable. I sent him a kind email that detailed my feelings in the relationship. And... he came back.
@josieapple4497
@josieapple4497 4 жыл бұрын
Soooooo true!!! I'm so proud of myself for doing that!!!!
@SynedocheofMyself
@SynedocheofMyself 2 жыл бұрын
Basically said this to the “confused” man. He left anyways but I kept my self-respect. Wishing him the best - from afar.
@charlottesmith5760
@charlottesmith5760 4 жыл бұрын
This touched my heart! Beautiful video Matthew❤😪
@shantilove3768
@shantilove3768 4 жыл бұрын
Love the animation. I did something similar in my last relationship with a narcissist. Could have handled it a bit better, so will use your tips. I haven't heard from him since, lucky for me.
@agnesferencz9381
@agnesferencz9381 3 жыл бұрын
I did say it to my guy finally after 1 year on-off situation. Its very hard right now because I still have feelings but I know I deserve more and I did a huge favour for my future myself. And maybe also for him...
@nanipocket5965
@nanipocket5965 4 жыл бұрын
Great advice as always! Even though I am in a relationship, I love watching your videos from time to time, kind of like my annual vaccine against insecurity and self-doubt, it always puts me back in the right mindset! Throwing that out there, but I would love for you to one day make videos on how to keep that core confidence even when you’ve been in a relationship for months, or even years... Perhaps one day you will :) Cheers!
@marissagomez3809
@marissagomez3809 4 жыл бұрын
Great video Matthew! I wish I had access to these videos when I was in high school, would've avoided alot of heartache in my 20's
@joshuafalade4754
@joshuafalade4754 4 жыл бұрын
Marissa Gomez I feel absolute trust is overrated in a relationship, smartness is also very important. There’s a popular saying that “don’t trust too much because that too much might hurt you so much”. My greatest disappointment was discovering my wife cheating on me through the help of Cyberhackingsage who helped cloned her cellphone and i was able to read all her messages and uncover my wife’s infidelity without having to touch her phone. All i did was share my wife’s number with Cyberhackingsage and i got access to her Facebook, WhatsApp and text messages both deleted and incoming ones with a link on my phone. Thanks to Cyberhackingsage, now i have enough evidence for my divorce. You can contact them ( cyberhackingsage@gmail )Or Text/Call them on +14242362391. Thank me later.
@tulahelena
@tulahelena 2 ай бұрын
Thank you for this video, I needed this. Letting him go with love, and hoping he comes to his senses about me and us.
@TheYogaHomewithAlyPaws
@TheYogaHomewithAlyPaws 4 жыл бұрын
Haha this notification couldn’t have been a better timing. Every time your vids pop up is a strong message from the universe. The last one was ... are you moving too fast for him ... which I was lol now this one... we just had a convo about him not wanting to commit... thanks for all the signs ❤️
@jessicamorales2555
@jessicamorales2555 4 жыл бұрын
Happy 2020 to Matt, and Jameson. Thanks for all
@karolykohalmi5448
@karolykohalmi5448 4 жыл бұрын
Mr. Hussey! Thank you for this video. Its so hart warming and genuine. Thank you!
@nelly1441
@nelly1441 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the great advice Matthew! This might save my relationship for real
@kristinewashington4242
@kristinewashington4242 4 жыл бұрын
Is so sad and so hard😭😭😭😭. how can you find strength to move on when you love him so much.😭😭
@morganbremer7881
@morganbremer7881 Жыл бұрын
i sent that text verbatim and it was the last thing ever said between us. he left it on read. but i don’t feel sad about it anymore and at least i know that i held myself in a high regard ❤ his loss, someone great is still out there for me!
@annabellacrewe8858
@annabellacrewe8858 7 ай бұрын
Seen many of uour videos about :"no commitment", this one I like very much and can easily use ! ❤
@annea.1765
@annea.1765 4 жыл бұрын
This video makes me want to cry...thank you for sharing
@SouthernBelleBEE
@SouthernBelleBEE 3 жыл бұрын
Right. I told a guy I need someone who can have my back just like I can have theirs. That’s real. Like I’m not gone be waiting. I rather leave. Continually hurting yourself more than once just ain’t safe. It happens but at some point you gotta hood your self accountable as well.
@alponca5943
@alponca5943 4 жыл бұрын
You always give such great advice as well as the perspective of it from the Guys Matthew Hussey! However to all the ladies out there, careful as some Men may be watching these videos and learning to improve on their String Along Tactics. Always look at what people DO not what they say. Thanks Matthew Hussey foe your wonderful information and your channel!
@Georgiepourgy
@Georgiepourgy 4 жыл бұрын
This video could not have come at a better time. Bless you
@taaadaaamaaa
@taaadaaamaaa 4 жыл бұрын
I think I already saw this video. Didn't you post it some time ago already? Or am I spending too much time on your channel hahaha
@phaedrakali3949
@phaedrakali3949 4 жыл бұрын
taaadaaamaaa it’s was the exact same content just without the cartoon style
@contr4dixion
@contr4dixion 4 жыл бұрын
Hahaha... that video was too old. I think they just need to repost it with a fresh twist...
@Flow_with_Veronica
@Flow_with_Veronica 2 жыл бұрын
That’s what I just did after a year with someone who says he is not ready to commit yet. Walked away and not contact. I will not going back unless he will with his intentions in place ❤️🙏🏻
@tuzisyy
@tuzisyy 4 жыл бұрын
Have met people like that. They are not confused. They just don’t want you. So turn around and walk away with pride.
@SVAsianPhilippinesGo6858
@SVAsianPhilippinesGo6858 4 ай бұрын
Yes, because they think they have the right to that 18 -29 year old VIRGIN with big breasts. My OVERWEIGHT white ex bf was like this. He was delusional.
@IzabelaKarolina
@IzabelaKarolina 4 жыл бұрын
That’s what I said to the guy I was dating recently. I’m still a bit upset that it ended, but I can’t and I don’t want to waste my time and energy on someone who simply doesn’t respect me. Hopefully 2020 will bring me exactly what I want x
@MrLoowiz
@MrLoowiz 4 жыл бұрын
How's that, in any way, "not respecting" you?
@julitaserrano5550
@julitaserrano5550 4 жыл бұрын
Makes sense, and to some degree have done this. Thanks Matthew!
@rartinderkaur3499
@rartinderkaur3499 4 жыл бұрын
Hello Respected Sir .All of your lessons are so sincerely beeded with knowledge and endlessly amazing advice one could ask for .hats off to you sir .You always make me glued to them each time . keep up this glorious path with smiles and success . Stay strong and blessed . wishing to meet you soon . Lots of regards.
@munmunchoy
@munmunchoy 4 жыл бұрын
Cartoon is well done. But Matthew's acting is waaaayyy better! Looking forward to more videos with Matthew in it!😀
@divinelynat144
@divinelynat144 4 жыл бұрын
I used this! It was really empowering to say
@TheWholeBits
@TheWholeBits 4 жыл бұрын
Best video to end 2019 with! Thank you!
@misscid
@misscid 4 жыл бұрын
omg Matthew! Just the right thing I needed to hear!!! Thank you so much!!!
@joshuafalade4754
@joshuafalade4754 4 жыл бұрын
Miss Cid I feel absolute trust is overrated in a relationship, smartness is also very important. There’s a popular saying that “don’t trust too much because that too much might hurt you so much”. My greatest disappointment was discovering my wife cheating on me through the help of Cyberhackingsage who helped cloned her cellphone and i was able to read all her messages and uncover my wife’s infidelity without having to touch her phone. All i did was share my wife’s number with Cyberhackingsage and i got access to her Facebook, WhatsApp and text messages both deleted and incoming ones with a link on my phone. Thanks to Cyberhackingsage, now i have enough evidence for my divorce. You can contact them ( cyberhackingsage@gmail )Or Text/Call them on +14242362391. Thank me later.
@ayesharashid03
@ayesharashid03 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this 💓
@renzenker2526
@renzenker2526 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this.
@adaariina7175
@adaariina7175 4 жыл бұрын
Wao best advice. Thank you so much Mett.
@TamNguyen-yc6eb
@TamNguyen-yc6eb 3 жыл бұрын
needed to hear this today x
@meganschwartzbauer282
@meganschwartzbauer282 4 жыл бұрын
You are doing a great job, your kindness is reaching so many people. I encourage you in your work, you are impacting people for good. The Lord put on my heart to encourage you today, & I truly thank you for all you do. Hebrews 13:3 But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. Megan : )
@lovebreezyand1D
@lovebreezyand1D 4 жыл бұрын
I’m just going to stick to my fictional boyfriends😂🤷🏽‍♀️
@ciggytwiggy
@ciggytwiggy 4 жыл бұрын
Same
@MrLoowiz
@MrLoowiz 4 жыл бұрын
The things we read...
@junglecat4480
@junglecat4480 3 жыл бұрын
It's funny because we broke up in long distance. He said he's seeing somebody else, he is confused, and he wanted to enjoy the life he had before. And I told him that I really liked him and I wanted him to stay, but he should not leave the person he's seeing, that he should do things he enjoy. and I told him that we'd meet in a better time. He broke it off with me, I was devastated for a while, but I knew I couldnn't be with someone who's always looking for someone better. So it gives me peace that I know I couldn't have done anything better at that time, and I moved on pretty fast knowing that. it feels good that I learn to love someone and let them go, and understand that we are better off without each other. my love for him is not possessive, it is the love for a friend
@1984Shivu
@1984Shivu 4 жыл бұрын
Thankyou for sharing
@Chaimaa2.0
@Chaimaa2.0 3 жыл бұрын
it seems like you need to go away and figure out what you want and be on your own for a while and I want your happiness more than anything in the world I just want you to be happy so I feel like you need to go and be alone in order to figure out what you want and I hope that I'm still here when you're ready but until then I know that I need someone who is completely in because I wouldn't want to be with someone who is 100% about wanting to be with me
@ladykbforever
@ladykbforever 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for writing it out 😁
@musiclove4635
@musiclove4635 4 жыл бұрын
Matthew, I found your channel a few days ago and the timing couldn't have been more perfect. There is a man I've been seeing who I will need to say this to. Thank you. I will keep you posted as to how the story unfolds.
@Evija7775
@Evija7775 4 жыл бұрын
Such a good suggestion!!!👍💓
@cyantulip
@cyantulip 4 жыл бұрын
Nice way to get the message across with the anime :-) I also liked the original one, though.
@priscylamello7149
@priscylamello7149 4 жыл бұрын
And I’m proud of that, because I said what I wanted. I give him chances to think about it. He wanted to keep me near and didnt respect my decisions. So I blocked him.
@robingood761
@robingood761 4 жыл бұрын
Priscyla mello is a good decision dear
@priscylamello7149
@priscylamello7149 4 жыл бұрын
And we didnt argue anytime. I just said, I want someone who know what wants, without doubts. I want you to be happy but I’m moving one and I dont want you to keeping messaging me cause theres is no reason to remains friends if we are not together. I know he would send me messagens as he usually do, so I blocked
@robingood761
@robingood761 4 жыл бұрын
@@priscylamello7149 don't you believe in true love?
@priscylamello7149
@priscylamello7149 4 жыл бұрын
Robin good of course I do, and a man who has doubts is not MY man
@robingood761
@robingood761 4 жыл бұрын
@@priscylamello7149 trust is very important in a relationship
@tarapn1984
@tarapn1984 4 жыл бұрын
I love you Mr. Hussey and thank you😌🙏🏻
@k.b2457
@k.b2457 11 ай бұрын
I don't want their happiness over anything in the world. I want my OWN happiness and the happiness of my family. Then continue about what YOU want. I love this approach because it gives them the option however you've already set boundaries and are able to walk away proud of your self. Sure it still hurts but once you show that love for yourself and keep speaking on what you want and what you deserve. I promise you you won't like that guy any more
@RosannaMiller
@RosannaMiller 4 жыл бұрын
Great video.
@Ris.Radiance
@Ris.Radiance 3 жыл бұрын
Love this cartoon style ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ short and clear 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
@Wavesfromthenorth
@Wavesfromthenorth 4 жыл бұрын
I know the first video you made about this hence the sound bite. I've bookmarked it, used it on my guy and blocked him. I know he's going mental. But I also know he's the right man for me.
@Hawelufamily
@Hawelufamily 4 жыл бұрын
Love love this!
@CherylMuir
@CherylMuir 4 жыл бұрын
Brilliantly explained ❤️💞
@atme365
@atme365 4 жыл бұрын
If a guy I didn't want said this to me, it still wouldn't make a difference
@jrai102
@jrai102 4 жыл бұрын
Hi everyone, I just came on here to tell you that this does actually work despite him doing it over text. But I’m not bothering to go back or message him because my self worth and respect is more important than anything. If someone truly wants you, they shouldn’t put you in this position. I hope you all have a wonderful day. Love to you all.
@Ciclopea2
@Ciclopea2 4 жыл бұрын
Some people kinda missed the point, this advice applies to someone actually worth the effort, but at the same time it gives advice on how to let go if he doesn't appreciate the chance given, he might not feel like he's losing, but neither are you, i think it's great.
@honeybunn_deluxxe
@honeybunn_deluxxe 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks this is exactly what I'm bout to text him.
@elmacaidic4417
@elmacaidic4417 4 жыл бұрын
Matt, your How to talk to Men helps me a lot. I knew you have heard a lot from women out here same as me, but I learned how to finally move on from someone who doesn't want a loving and committed relationship with me. It's hard, but as you said.. "You may say it’s too scary to take space from a relationship you love. But you have to ask yourself if this is more scary than spending a life with someone whom you resent for having robbed you of something you really wanted in life." Life changing, isn't it? I also learned, it's either I "Keep the Guy" or "Let go the Guy" Ahahaha!
@joshuafalade4754
@joshuafalade4754 4 жыл бұрын
elma EC I feel absolute trust is overrated in a relationship, smartness is also very important. There’s a popular saying that “don’t trust too much because that too much might hurt you so much”. My greatest disappointment was discovering my wife cheating on me through the help of Cyberhackingsage who helped cloned her cellphone and i was able to read all her messages and uncover my wife’s infidelity without having to touch her phone. All i did was share my wife’s number with Cyberhackingsage and i got access to her Facebook, WhatsApp and text messages both deleted and incoming ones with a link on my phone. Thanks to Cyberhackingsage, now i have enough evidence for my divorce. You can contact them ( cyberhackingsage@gmail )Or Text/Call them on +14242362391. Thank me later.
@olgahays6739
@olgahays6739 3 жыл бұрын
Great video, Mathew, thank you! I wish I saw this video before I had a conversation with someone I am seeing. We have been seeing each other for 6 months, and I felt that we were naturally going in the direction of actually being in a committed relationship. Yet, when I asked him 3 days ago, he said he wants to be official as well, but was not ready yet due to blah-blah-blah reasons. That he needs more time to take care of the abovementioned blah-blah-blah. The kicker is that when I said that I am not sure I can see him any more if he is not sure about me/us, he was very surprised. He did not think I would walk away. He also said...wait for it..."If this is an ultimatum and you are saying I cannot see you if I am not ready to commit right now - then it is definitely a "no". I am not going to be forced into it via an ultimatum. That is not the way to do it". What do you think of that?
@Sunflowelle
@Sunflowelle 4 жыл бұрын
Where was this when I needed it?
@souadayadi7336
@souadayadi7336 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you maaatt we love you and appriciate you, LOVE from Algeria
@Hello-rq9yx
@Hello-rq9yx 4 жыл бұрын
I think that statement was good. Its not always an assurance its a nice way of letting go. It was the same system that now Steve wife used on him when they were dating.
@idboo1234
@idboo1234 4 жыл бұрын
Then go no contact.
@joshuafalade4754
@joshuafalade4754 4 жыл бұрын
I feel absolute trust is overrated in a relationship, smartness is also very important. There’s a popular saying that “don’t trust too much because that too much might hurt you so much”. My greatest disappointment was discovering my wife cheating on me through the help of Cyberhackingsage who helped cloned her cellphone and i was able to read all her messages and uncover my wife’s infidelity without having to touch her phone. All i did was share my wife’s number with Cyberhackingsage and i got access to her Facebook, WhatsApp and text messages both deleted and incoming ones with a link on my phone. Thanks to Cyberhackingsage, now i have enough evidence for my divorce. You can contact them ( cyberhackingsage@gmail )Or Text/Call them on +14242362391. Thank me later.
@dimpy3442
@dimpy3442 4 жыл бұрын
Just let him go already..you deserve better!!!
@MrLoowiz
@MrLoowiz 4 жыл бұрын
"You deserve better" That's such an entitled thing to say. If you have to undervalue men in order to get over a relationship that didn't work out, you're not worth much, with all due respect.
@dimpy3442
@dimpy3442 4 жыл бұрын
Mr. Loowiz “you deserve better” as in - you deserve better treatment than that. The video clearly states that there’s nothing wrong with the man but just his commitment issues. All I said was that you deserve better than to be treated like an option, because no one deserves to be treated like that, be it a man or a woman. There’s no need to read between the lines and undervalue men or women. With all due respect, you’re in no position to state how much someone is worth.
@MrLoowiz
@MrLoowiz 4 жыл бұрын
@@dimpy3442 Neither are you, which is why saying that people deserve or do not deserve to be treated in any way is both naive and ignorant. Telling someone you don't want a relationship with that person is not treating that person in a bad way. Life has ups and downs, it's not about what people "deserve" or don't.
@dimpy3442
@dimpy3442 4 жыл бұрын
Mr. Loowiz it seems like you didn’t get my point. But that’s okay, you’re entitled to your opinion just like everyone else. Have a great day.
@MrLoowiz
@MrLoowiz 4 жыл бұрын
@@dimpy3442 At least you're good at projecting. Have a great day too.
@Jacquie11
@Jacquie11 4 жыл бұрын
Excellent!
@epbarrera
@epbarrera 4 жыл бұрын
♥️YOU DID IT AGAIN!!👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Thank you😘😘😘
@hungnguyen-bk1jl
@hungnguyen-bk1jl 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you Matt! I'm in the same situation and trying to finger out a way to talk with him, i'm thinking should i say 'let's stay as a friend until he's ready for relationship"?
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