He's Overweight I'm Not Attracted To Him

Show Notes:
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Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of How Married Are You?! See you next week!

[@everythingalyb]

“I choose you always.” 😂😂😂 Glen is a smart man!!!!! Also I agree with him. Attraction gotta be there fam. I appreciate her level of self awareness, but she’s worthy of being with someone who she enjoys looking at. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@leaellas8400]

I wholeheartedly agree! And it will make you overlook the little things and make up more quickly with each other too when you both love AND are attracted.

[@arlenaholmes]

Yvette's skin is flawlessly glowing !!!!!

[@AmbiNicole1702]

Word!

[@goldenlifelove7251]

I've noticed in this videos and several otgers from IG, that Yvette is kinda hard on herself about her body & appearance & I honestly dont know why! Her skin is beautiful & she's in great shape imo, especially for a wonan whose had 4 kids! She looks amazing & has a beautiful smile.

[@latashalewis873]

"From the outside in it looks a mess. From the inside looking out it is a mess!"😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@shkase398]

I was not initially attracted to my husband. It was years before God opened my eyes to him while he was still attracted to me. We were friends and had the same circle of friends in college, but he just was not my cup of tea at that time. It wasn't until I worked on some things I needed to work on in me that God revealed to me in dreams that he indeed was the man that he had designed for me.

[@shkase398]

We now have been married for eleven years with four beautiful children.

[@Lil08103]

was there anything physically and/or personality wise that you remember making you feel like this ain't it?

[@leaellas8400]

I feel like this is how sexless marriages happen. I desire to be attracted to my future spouse since we will be mingling our genes to procreate. It's a culmination of compatibility, value systems aligning, and attraction. If you genuinely feel "God called you" to someone you are not attracted to, that must be a unique situation specific to you. Not everyone who says the same prayers will get the same answers.

[@leaellas8400]

And not to mention ... no one questions males about not wanting to be with women they are not attracted to.

[@gloriamadrid1468]

My 20 month old just bounced his knees and head to your outro!!🥰🥰

[@ari_an_yah]

She shouldn't settle and it sounds like she is, and no one should settle. She should figure out what she wants in a man/husband because settling is so easy for us, and regret is at the door if you aren't doing your best and putting your best foot forward in yourself, your life and finding a compatible mate. Looks aren't everything but health is and the older you get, the harder it will be to maintain health and fight off disease. Life is short but long if you aren't even attracted to your man/husband to start with.

[@AlexMinor]

18:20 thank you for saying “Men don’t care about your PHD”. When the young lady was giving context to her situation and that was one of the first things she mentioned I’m like “she has no idea what men want/care about”. And Yvette… “you’re probably intimidated by it” is a straight up lie. Most men do not care at all. The only time it becomes an issue is when women start using the PHD as justification for a bad attitude.

[@shaymayhello]

I'm with you Yvette, since being married to my husband and our sex life has evolved...🗣️AINT NO GOING BACK 😂

[@elsageb7661]

Yvette you may have not lost weight but u r looking toned! You’re motivating me sis 💪🏾

[@maishaaddai1052]

Her hair is beautiful in its natural state and I thank God she loves it❤

[@sherwood9917]

Physical attraction is not everything and is certainly not the most important thing in a relationship, but it is important. I cannot be with someone to whom I am not physically attracted. I have been in that situation, where my partner gained a lot of weight over the years. While I still enjoyed spending time with and still loved him, I had zero desire to be intimate with him.

[@naomiv7133]

He said "if they like basketball" lol!

[@whenyouwishuponastar6643]

To me, it’s a bit concerning she’s been dating him a year and feels no physical attraction to him. It would have been helpful to know what she does find attractive about him, or what she usually finds attractive in a man. My husbands weight had changed a lot since we met, but I’ve always been attracted to his looks, especially after a nice haircut lol 😂. So if it’s that she thinks he’s ugly, maybe she should consider if she loves him as a husband who she will sleep with for the rest of her life, or as a friend who’s a good guy.

[@leaellas8400]

I wholeheartedly agree with you. I feel like this is how sexless marriages happen. I desire to be attracted to my future spouse since we will be mingling our genes to procreate. It's a culmination of compatibility, value systems aligning, and attraction.

[@hoodhippie7117]

14:53 lmfaooooooo SMART MAN hahahahahahahahah I gotta tell my man about this episode that was funny asf ahahahahaha

[@Yuhfiknow]

The intro ALWAYS puts a huge smile on my face, love you guys

[@Trisha81]

"I choose you always" 🤣

[@gabriellehollis9081]

If she’s not attracted to him now, it’s only going off the cliff from here. 😂😂

[@russelynwilliams9698]

I'm sorry Yvette. I agree with Glen on this. She is settling. If she were not settling she would not have had to say, "I know men aren't lining up for me as a Black woman with a PHD." She is making these statements about herself as if there is something wrong with her and this is all she is worthy of. We have to encourage women to be honest with themselves about what they want and to accept themselves. The question is not about good sex as that can be learned with the right partner. It's about attraction. The young lady needs to have more experiences with meeting different men so she can learn what she is attracted to or not. Then, she can be sure and not need someone to cosign on her moving forward with someone. He doesn't have to be super fine just attractive to her whatever that looks like to her. It could be a man's intelligence, care for her, voice, skin-tone, masculinity, eyes, smile etc.

[@thandomolobye8512]

"Ashy and all" Love it😊

[@poik247]

He COULD work on his diet, working out isn’t what makes weight always. She COULD be honest with him and tell him the truth… 🤷🏾‍♀️ but depending on his personality he may not take it well. IDK I hope she doesn’t hurt him by settling and only sharing later when they’re too far in.

[@lawandasmith5920]

I wonder if she knows the specifics of what she wants in a man since she hasn't really dated a lot. She never mentioned his specific positive attributes so does she REALLY know what she has in the man she is with. Like who doesn't give a rave review about the man they talk about marrying? She confessed loving him (she didn't say "in love") but that could be a matter of comfort and familiarity.

[@leaellas8400]

😊🥰

[@lashawn369]

Checking in from the DMV.

[@Tiacocoa]

I think homegirl( girl in letter) need to find that episode on dear future wifey with April. She would really enjoy it.

[@russelynwilliams9698]

Post a link sis.

[@leaellas8400]

I feel like this is how sexless marriages happen. I desire to be attracted to my future spouse since we will be mingling our genes to procreate. It's a culmination of compatibility, value systems aligning, and attraction.

[@Rivernadiwellness]

Attraction is not all about looks.. no one stays if they are not attracted!! Period

[@chedbeckford8067]

Imagine if a man posed this question. Women all around the world would be offended 😂

[@kimberlyhampton5332]

She sounds like she needs to meet a partner who is also into fitness. Like minds....If her partner isn't willing to get on board, it may be an issue in the future. She does sound like she's settling.

[@VSpellMusic]

15:14 Good job Glen! 🤣🤣🤣

[@k3isha3o54]

I love the intro

[@beastman245]

Whatever she does, I would say to make sure that your heart is in the right place while choosing someone. While physical attraction holds weight it's not everything. People change feelings change attractions change attitudes change mindsets change situation change over time whether for better or worse. Spiritually and mentally you gonna have to have something to hold on to hang in there at some point . People forget all these variables can and may come . Thinking that you gonna be comfortable and settled for the rest of your life in marriage is not wise. It's gonna be work on both ends.

[@sugarwaters]

Would I choose beautiful and bad sex, or ugly and good sex? I think You can learn good sex! Edit: for the sex topic, I think it’d be interesting to learn about how your sex life evolved, Yvette’s mindset change towards sex, how she learned and got better, the resources you used, how you both grew sexually and do you still try to grow and explore sexually? are orgasms what make good sex?

[@lovleeness]

Glad to see you two here! Talented rapper/singer WHOOP WHOOP!

[@amosleak9519]

Thanks!... Yall the best.

[@HowMarriedAreYouPodcast]

THANK YOU!

[@carmelxta]

I think her self esteem is holding her back in her approach to receiving the relationship she wants. The guys are lining up but she's classing herself out when they haven't.. Girl, get your flirt on!!! As it's her first relationship and she's uncertain a year in, I'd say to fall back and date. Figure out her non-negotiables, her sexual interests and her type of partner.

[@mayagriffin2826]

Maybe talk about Yvette’s journey? Because she always talks about it, but we have no idea what she means 😂

[@lisam9089]

Appreciate you guys! ♥

[@fruit032]

Lol yes, my hubs and I have 5 children and its a mess but we all love eah other and thats what matters. 😂😂

[@jamiehigh924]

I would definitely rollout, if I was not attracted to the man. If you are not married and you are not attracted to him. end this and move on with your life. Another man will find you attractive and you will find someone else attractive.

[@keypur]

Shout out to Glenn knowing

[@KC-YouTubeName]

Y’all are so funny😂😂

[@naomiv7133]

She said "bro" like she was about to stomp Glen

[@samoracolasavril8876]

Honestly if after a year, he is still not attractive to you might be something bigger…

[@chandabwsandidge0430]

16:40 Having a growth mindset is also aligned with having faith that things can improve and those convos are crucial. There’s the practical, but then there are things you have to give to the Lord. Attraction may be important for some men, but it may not be necessary for some women cuz for me and mine, if they are too fine, standards where?😮‍💨 Married, 4mos in, and it takes effort to do something you’re not accustomed to doing on a regular basis for the health of your marriage (oh, and we abstained for 4 years 😅 - not pure, but we made it). God is good. I have so much to say… but I’ll stop.

[@michaelrollerson1384]

Wym by for u and yours, if they are too fine standards where? Are u saying u need your guy to be a lil ugly bc if they’re too fine u wouldn’t hold them to any standards fr?

[@chandabwsandidge0430]

@@michaelrollerson1384 I’ve found that FOR ME (with context, I’d say in my 20s), when I focused on the physical or was initially attracted heavily to someone physically, I didn’t always make the best decisions, boundaries were challenging to keep… so altho I was attracted to my husband in the dating stage, the level of intimacy after marriage has made him more attractive. There are levels pf attractiveness. I agree with Glen that she could have been more explicit with what she was attracted to about him. After a year… that’s a little alarming.

[@iAMtheYELLOWrose]

This same thing happened to me. I ruined my marriage because of it. Thats how i know, love needs no attraction. Its bigger than attraction. Its real love. And after a while, the person becomes attractive to you. Focus on the good things in your marriage. Attraction is relative ya dig. Bliss yourself. Why miss out?

[@leaellas8400]

😩🙄🙃 Let's start convincing men marriage requires no attraction 🤭 That's hideous to consider that marriage can be content without attraction. There's a reason God made an aspect of us to be sexual beings which requires attraction.

[@Animaine7030]

Early bird gang letsgoooooo

[@handmadewithchristiwade9693]

I knew it. Yall be changing the titles. 24:08

[@recipebandit3563]

I would go through all 190 episodes of your shows, but they are not all available ...😔. Thank you for the mention I didnt realize , I just subscribed to KZbin Yvette Unplugged, use to listen to it on Spotify.Great, great, great! Blessings ya'll

[@ChrisTeeO.]

Thank you for the vulnerability. Yes, let’s normalize being nice to your[unified]self. Can I suggest a title remix? : I’m attracted to you.

[@ahantoine]

I'd like to hear all of this man's many great attributes though. What makes y'all compatible in other ways? Relationships are about compatibility. The lack of sex drive could be hormonal perhaps, and something to look into maybe...shrug

[@Chloeeezyyy]

The girl has a bit of a scarcity mindset based on the words around 8:09 She’s not attracted to him after a year and she loves him as well. That’s a red flag. She needs to be more intentional in her own personal growth. There are many men out there who marry average looking women. Men like fit women. Half the battle. Just go outside.

[@naomiv7133]

Lol

[@danaabercrombie8336]

I think young lady has self-esteem issues.

[@jonpaul4831]

How did you guys work past “sexual words” being so weird as a Christian. Words like D**k, etc…

[@crystaldreams3978]

Lmao

[@itsmekiaratee]

If you’re a inexperienced dater and average looking, it sounds like you’re blessed to have gotten his attention. You said yourself that guys don’t notice you. If that’s the hand you’re dealt, I don’t know how long it’ll be before you attracted another man willing to be serious about you unless of course you’re willing to date outside of your race because non-black men tend to date not as attractive black women. I just wouldn’t want you to let what seems like a decent man go only to end up alone forever. Some black women don’t have a lot of options and you sound like you don’t so consider every angle, can you actually do better? This may seem harsh, but I mean it with genuine love. Black women have to be more transparent with each other because these days black women lie to each other a lot and ultimately hold each other back. Much love to you & I hope you make the right decision!

[@cpwwjd69]

Did you talk about sex before you got married?