HEALING STORIES: Growing Up With A Dad Who Has PTSD

Nancy, the daughter of a Vietnam Veteran, describes what it was like growing up with a father who has PTSD.
Episode 12 in Serve the Warrior's "Healing Stories" web series.
19 episodes. Airs weekly. March 24, 2016 - July 28, 2016
servethewarrior.org

[@chad6472]

I’m here because I’m a ptsd vet and my service dog 🐕‍🦺 just died. And twins (first kids) are almost here. I just want to be a wonderful dad.

[@FunnyJoshVideoz]

My father has it. Long story short he blows up for everything. I can never have a normal conversation with him. He has been getting help but it's not working. It's getting worse by the day. I can't ever tell my father that I love him. It's hard to say it. I honestly feel like I don't have a dad. He may be my father but he will never be a "dad" to me.

[@483Valerieth]

I know how you feel. Every time I have a conversation with my dad and I start to talk too much, his facial expression changes and goes into a sort of “trance” like he sees someone else and not me. It’s almost like he’s gonna lunge at me. It’s at the point where I’ll stop mid sentence and end our conversation and leave the room. He’ll pace around the house talking to himself and we just don’t get in his way, he’s also having a huge problem with alcohol and it so hard to find a way to talk to him without him blowing up. I can’t joke with my dad the way my friends joke with theirs, I envy that. My dad dedicated 27 years of his life in the army so I have the most respect for him, but I struggle to have the father daughter relationship I’ve always wanted, as day by day, he slips away a little more.

[@fishfry4491]

No matter how damn hard it gets to have that bond with your father(s), I encourage you all to keep yourself in the loop with your father. Two things: When they are gone, they are gone and you cannot get back even the crappiest of times with them. Secondly: Your father may not be able to express himself well at all, but that doesn't mean that you are not one of the most precious things in his world. I know that you don't see it, especially on the outside, but you might be the only real ray of light that he has- even though he doesn't know how to show it. You must remember that our fathers also feel a shitload of guilt for our lives being the way it is and has been. Your father may be impossible to deal with or far from emotional reach but one thing is for sure, they would die or take a bullet for you and never think twice. How many people do you know that care that much about you? ...Don't get me wrong, it hurts like hell to be the victim of our fathers' PTSD and mental shambles. It is wrong to be mean or treat someone badly and it makes you feel almost worthless when they are so mean. That being said, YOU my brother and sister are special and worthy of love and happiness also! God love you all!!!

[@br8kawy]

This sounds exactly like my childhood. I personally know her story and her experiences.

[@rfj1156]

my friend's dad has PTSD, he used to always shout at me and my friend whenever I went to his. I didn't know that he was an Iraq war veteran at the time and I asked his mum why he hated me so much, she told me that he didn't hate me or my friend (his son), he was just mentally scarred since he had seen close friends of his die. Thankfully he has managed to get over it and he is a really nice guy

[@gooniez882]

My mum has complex ptsd

[@youthtone2149]

my dad has PTSD

[@lavanderblack1460]

Christopher Mallender samee

[@breniaker]

Same and he beats me up a lot and I am fucking 15 now i go to high school. I always think he made a monster out of me but I am confused and I think to take my own life.

[@gooniez882]

Breniaker it's not your fault please dont give up you have a whole life to live. My mum has complex ptsd and she can be really nasty sometimes. As you get older you will understand more

[@bandlehars]

@@breniaker God bless you. I hope you are doing good. If you read this just know that I care and wish you the best. My dad has it too and I feel just like you do. I want to crawl in a hole and die sometimes.