Helping Defiant Students | High School Teacher Vlog

[@TeachersPlaybook]

I had the 10-year-old version of Mike. He was diagnosed ODD and was seeing a counselor outside of school. Although he was a behavior problem, he was a really smart kid. I started acknowledging his intelligence during class. Things like, "If you need help with this raise your hand, or you can ask Mike. He is really good at this." Pointing out that he was good at something was a new school experience for Mike. It also made him feel like I defended him to the other kids who were so quick to call him out for breaking rules. All of this being said, it did not solve Mike's problems, but it did make class calmer and more manageable. And I will admit that when he would get lost in an independent book, I would just let him read. He was not bothering anybody, and how could I complain about his love of reading? Thanks for the vido. We are all in this together.

[@CJReynolds]

I love this so much. As always it’s the little things like compliments and a bit of freedom and trust that go so far. Thanks for being so wonderful. Really. ❤️

[@summertate293]

I always start each period with music. As the kids come in I have a song playing and their task is to write the title, artist, and year on their makeshift whiteboards (page protector with a white sheet of paper) in their table groups. This helps me take attendance as the kids come in and try to figure out in their groups what song is playing. The point is to gain easy points for their group at the beginning of the period. The table with the most points at the end of the period are awarded raffle tickets (I do a raffle every two weeks or so....or whenever I feel like:) I had a kid who seemed not to care about anything and told me that what I kept playing was not his type of music. Soooo, I studied him and reread his "about me" assignment that I had them do and took a chance on Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song." When he came in the next day, I finally saw him smile and get excited, exclaiming, "yes!! I know this one!!" His work suddenly improved that day. It's not always this simple...but making some sort of connection is a good start.

[@CJReynolds]

Summer that’s awesome! I love it. I find most of the time it’s those little things. Thanks for doing such great work. ❤️👍🏽

[@cherylmorris6692]

I love this!

[@susanwhite3419]

Hey Summer, I love this idea, I see you wrote 3 years ago, may not be on this channel anymore. However, I wondered if you let the students use their cell phones for this, and if not, how do you get them to not use them?

[@okaminess]

Why didn't I think of that?

[@Niamirismom]

Kids need attention, not detention! I say this all the time. I've had similar experiences. 😉

[@gotbehavior]

That's going on my wall Monday morning. Great one!!

[@CJReynolds]

You’re the best!

[@sssalsera]

You nailed it!

[@mjmclaugh4572]

I don't think it's so black and white. You need both because every kid is so different.

[@richardroyster405]

CJ, my man, this hit me like a ton of bricks. You know I'm an associate principal. Discipline is about half my job. I give so much detention I have to block it out of my mind. Those tier 3 kids are off the hook and even though I have TRIED to build relationships between the detentions, as you can imagine, it can be difficult! This lunch thing really got me thinking. Next time the right opportunity comes along, I will give a kid a choice. Lunch with me for a week or the traditional consequence. This is going to be interesting.

[@CJReynolds]

My man! I can’t wait to hear about it!

[@mellen66]

I'm kinda new to the school system having just gotten my masters in elem and special ed. What is an associate principal?

[@GP-ki6kj]

How'd it go?

[@Mykidsaresmarterthanyours]

I'm really interested in the outcome of this

[@carmenmunnelly1816]

@@mellen66 it's a vice principal

[@danahc4851]

I was waiting for the "give them jobs" suggestion. That's what worked for my last "Mike". I tried the lunch thing and that didn't go so well, bc he was the type of kid that REALLY needed recess! However, I did learn that he really liked video games and computers. So, his special job was to help kids log on to Study Island and Earobics (district required programs). All of the kids knew "if you need help, ask "Mike"." Unfortunately, "Mike" had trauma from his past and was dealing with parental neglect from one parent. It made total sense why he rejected female authority figures. So, I couldn't get the welfare system to intervene until May (despite reporting multiple incidents). "Mike" has continued to bounce between foster care and his parent in the years since I taught him and he's not doing so well with high school, but I hope he remembers someone cares and enjoyed having him in class.

[@CJReynolds]

Recess is a tricky one. I don’t think kids should ever have that time taken away. Then again I don’t teach little ones. I would hit that dude up one day or go see him or ask him to come back and volunteer.

[@barel1384]

Are teachers told when a kid is in foster care? Are teachers ever asked if they are interested in fostering students from their school?

[@heyheyhey40]

I have to make sure I remember to pray over my entire classroom everyday before school. It establishes a peaceful atmosphere and guides my decisions. Teaching is emotionally draining and even traumatic sometimes.

[@CJReynolds]

Love it!

[@novellarebollar4217]

I need to do that.

[@RatelHBadger]

My Deputy Principal basically told me this in my induction/tour of the school before my first day. Relationship is 90% of everything, if they believe you care about them, then they will be willing to go beyond their own self doubt and listen when you say they can be more.

[@CJReynolds]

100%! Ratel! I love that the admin is down with that!

[@annenance9044]

I loved your Mike story! I have second graders but spending time with kids still means a lot to them no matter how old they are. I occasionally go outside at recess and play basketball with my kids. I seek out those kids that seem to stay in trouble, because I think they need to experience more interactions with teachers that aren't negative. At seven and eight years old, they just think it's fun and great to see their fifty-something slightly overweight white lady teacher making a layup. And I'm convinced that it does make them work harder for me than they might otherwise.

[@CJReynolds]

100%! Anne!!

[@heathercrivilare1722]

I’ve been watching your videos before school. You’re kind of like my coach, pumping me up to stay focused and get my classes to the fourth quarter! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your wisdom on all matters of teaching.

[@iamkimjackuchan]

This video really hit home for me. I teach at an alternative school so most of my students are “outliers” and some days it feels like I’m chipping away at a wall with a toothpick but once you get through it is totally worth it.

[@CJReynolds]

😂That’s a great metaphor! You are so right. Thanks for doing the hard work that you do! ☺️👍🏽

[@ms.salinabintiabdullatiff9632]

I feel so guilty of treating one of my defiant students in a very harsh way all these while..he is rude, he sleeps in class, refuses to do group work, homework not on point, etc.. I feel like he’s just behaving like that to prove something in front of his classmates..and I’m always being hard on him just so the whole class doesn't think that I can’t control him..not because I wanted to help him..and I later learned that his father passed away last year..and he’s only 14 this year..it must be really hard for him..🥺 your vids have taught me soooo much..thanks Reynolds. You’re awesome man. I want to be a better teacher to him from now on.

[@valentinatail6105]

I just started teaching 9th graders, which is honestly terryfing since I just graduated last month and I was originally applying as a co ( they're also making me start with social studies instead of English but that's a whole other story!) I've been watching your videos non stop and honestly you're such an inspiration, I hope you know that. I aspire to be such a genuine and caring mentor. Your students are super lucky. Thank you for all your advices and help. You deserve infinite appreciation✨

[@CJReynolds]

Hi Valentina! Hang in there and be real. You’ll get there. Schools are always throwing curveballs. You get used to it and learn to thrive anyway. ❤️

[@ashleydrake7551]

This is the part of the job that weighs me down the most. Those kids with a chip on their shoulder are so difficult to reach. I needed this reminder to keep trying to connect and not give up.

[@CJReynolds]

Best of luck to you Ashley!❤️❤️

[@voicedify]

I was a troubled kid in high school. Because I had a normal reaction to how I was being raised and what I was going through, which was being defiant and angry, it only got me into even more trouble at school. And that fueled the fire. In my mind, the system let me down. I've grown and healed in ways I never thought possible since then, though. And it sounds crazy, but now I am considering going back to school in order to see what kind of positive influence I can be on others that are similar to myself. Your advice in this video is on point and inspiring! I'm taking notes. Thank you for your content.

[@CJReynolds]

That’s not crazy at all. The first we go through either consumes us or forges us. Use what happened in your life to help others. Question... what could your teachers have done a better job at doing?

[@Mykidsaresmarterthanyours]

I did the same thing stemming from a horrific homelife. I'm now nearly 38 and close to student teaching for middle school math. Life is strange.

[@mardellethomas238]

I really liked how you were patient enough with Mike to wait on teaching him and focus on knowing him!

[@briellerasmussen67]

When you mentioned just asking about a students day and being in the hallway when kids come in is so true. I have 2 out of 7 of my teachers do this. It is so small, but makes me and other students I talk to feel so special, and makes me motivated to be the best I can in their classes specifically, because it shows that they care about you, so you should return the favor. It is just the highlight of my school day.

[@CJReynolds]

100%

[@briellerasmussen67]

@@CJReynolds ❤

[@iSevv]

Never judge your students, you don't know what they could be going through. :(

[@CJReynolds]

100%! Find out their story and you will understand the behavior. Then you have a place to start. 👍🏽

[@heyheyhey40]

We really have to become superhuman. I feel that this emotional development is one of the most important things we teach. But we also have to deal with meetings, standards, documentation, grading, lesson planning, my own emotional health, etc… my lunch period is my time to catch up on all of that. Sometimes, I don’t even get a chance to eat.

[@monikakicilinska5391]

Awesome video!!! The only thing I want to add to this is a quote that I heard lately. "They may not remember what you taught them, but they will always remember how you made them feel".

[@CJReynolds]

That’s a great quote. It’s a 100% true!! Thanks for being awesome!

[@jonathanwall2659]

I’m glad you did this video! This describes A LOT of my students. Sometimes you can connect with them in conversations about sports, likes/dislikes, food, etc. Jobs help especially for the true behavioral kids. I started doing weekly jobs with some kids in my toughest class. They may not have done the class assignments, but you know that they were going to do their class job. I also would give some sort incentive with it, like a bag of chips at the end of their week as their “paycheck” if they did their job all week. Especially now with so many kids working after school, they don’t see the benefits of education because their fast food job pays them $10/hr or whatever. Thanks for all you do! These videos have really helped me to grow as a teacher to gain more confidence in myself!

[@CJReynolds]

Hey Jon! Rafe Esquith has a whole section in his book “There are no shortcuts” about this. Keep up the great work buddy!

[@BLSonOfKratos]

You're still helping, two years later! A large portion of our student population is difficult to reach, and your vids keep me focused on what matters instead of letting their antics get the better of me. At the end of the day, they are all just children who never had a decent shot at growing in a safe environment. We can do what we can, but staying focused on what matters and letting them know they are heard does so much more than making sure they are behaving exactly the way they should. Congrats on keeping scared new teachers in the field.

[@mellen66]

Thanks for being real. Applies even for a first grade special ed teacher. I appreciate you and all you do. ;)

[@CJReynolds]

Thanks Melissa!

[@zuejayt7061]

Thank you. It's like this quote " People don't care what you know until they know that you care".

[@sarachilds-theonlyschoolin3438]

In our program, we have the outlier kids, but I still try to form relationships with them, because they are always more likely to listen and participate if they feel that someone is interested in who they are. Totally on point CJ!

[@CJReynolds]

Ah my friend Sara! Thanks buddy!

[@annawisniewska4365]

Some people meditate to prepare for the day or for the challenges and I watch your videos before every year on repeat. I agree with you on so many levels - it's like you are putting my thoughts, feelings and observations into words better than I can do it myself. Relationships are king. Show them you are coming from a good place. It's not about being the boss, it's about being the leader and helping them find success. Show your true personality (I am as crazy as you are - can you imagine us co-teaching? 🤣) to the students who can handle it. But also... sometimes you can't win, sometimes the person's problems are beyond your level of competence... Sometimes you have to make a list and prioritize because the optimistic idea that you can do everything is false. You have no idea how many lives of teachers and students you are changing. You are decreasing the amount of wine we drink and the anti-depressants we take. The producers of those will sue you 😜

[@rebekahbaker7877]

Oh my word, this video was really on point! It can be hard as teachers sometimes to really get through to students and not feel defeated after trying for so long. I really needed to hear this! Thank you for making this video and for constantly being a positive influence in the teaching community!

[@CJReynolds]

It’s my pleasure!

[@MrsYolandicook]

In the beginning of the school year I teach students not tumo use these words and the meanings behind them. I let them know I have zero tolerance and why I have zero tolerance. Students seem to be perceptive and remember my rela life explanations as to why it is not okay to put others down for their beliefs or sexuality etc. as well as not use derogatory terms in class. 😊

[@blackwoman3839401]

I so agree that if you aren't the one, find them someone who can be. I don't respond to violence towards me. However I will seek assistance of others to connect in a way I can't. I love this video! You are so amazing!

[@CJReynolds]

Thanks buddy!

[@zetlaw07]

Thank you for making this video! I have some kids where the last thing on their mind is school, due to their situation at home. I’m constantly trying to get them more engaged. I’m going to try giving class jobs, like you suggested, and have them take ownership of something. I think they would really enjoy that. 😊👍🏻

[@renatkinson5624]

I am loving your segments. I work in ED and special ed and will be running my own ED class next year. As a new grad and mature aged teacher I have a lot of empathy for these students. It is really tough at working out the best strategy but building relationships is absolute key.

[@CJReynolds]

Thanks Ren! Best of luck to you! In hope it’s all you’ve dreamed of.

[@jasonlloyd9238]

I just finished my first month of teaching, man what eye openers. I have 5 classes (i teach 9th graders mostly), and one class, its at the end of the day, is always doing something wrong I have written up 4 kids so far which seems like a lot. I have like 30 kids per class, its hard as a new teacher to make sure my grades are up to date, my lessons are planned out and try to help some of these kids with some issues. (I teach at a priority 1 school, kids from not so great backgrounds) You have sent me a few private videos reynolds and I appreciate each of them, I dont know if its possible to have a video chat (i know youre busy) sometime this week or next just to fire questions with you in real time about my first month of teaching. So far I love it, everytime a kid says my name and hello in the hall, I get a huge smile on my face (dont express it too much though). I look forward to hearing from you, I love your videos, keeping winning everyday!

[@CJReynolds]

Jason! That’s everyone’s first year. You are not alone. It gets easier and you will get better at everything. I promise. Tell those end of the day dudes “ check yourselves. I know it’s the end of the day but let’s finish with the best class ever.” Then give them time constraints on each piece of work. So they know how much time they have before the train moves on. Hang in there bro!

[@MarthaMartinez-on9tq]

Teaching is almost always a baptism by fire, chin up, u got this...also it is one of the most rewarding 25 year profession i have been blessed with, we change lives, anyone who says different is lying.

[@stasia12c]

Just started watching you for my first time today! Your videos are so good and so helpful! I am student teaching right now and am getting used to taking over the classroom. I am in a first-grade room currently in Arizona. I don't know what grade I want to teach but I think teaching tips really apply to all grade levels. Watching this video today is something I am working on doing with a student in the classroom I have currently. A student of mine has been hitting others every day for the past couple weeks and it makes me so sad to see him so upset. We have good conversations about how to handle the situations differently but he has not implemented are new skills just yet. After watching your video I am really going to try and just build a stronger relationship with him. Maybe then I will figure out what is really causing all this anger and hopefully make a difference for his future.

[@waleedkhalid7486]

A few years late, but I would add that you should not expect to be able to ‘help’ every student like that. I work at a school where almost every student comes from a vastly different culture than me. As a result, my expectations are very different from the expectations they have for themselves. While I managed to connect to many of them and have them do well, others resisted every attempt I made simply because I was too different. I wasn’t into their type of music, I wasn’t into their hobbies, and I simply did not see things the way adults in their world did. It bothered me for a long time, but I came to the realization that if I don’t reach everyone, it’s ok. Some other teacher will reach them (hopefully). If I can form a relationship with 80/120 students, I consider that a win. If you feel inadequate because you saw freedom writers or whatever, don’t. It’s a movie and the teachers in those movies seem to only teach 1 class a day- you likely teach at least 3 (I teach 5) - so they only have maybe 30 students. Also, don’t despair if your efforts seem to not be working. It takes time for change to happen, especially with kids. Give it a good 2 weeks before deciding that what you’re doing isn’t working. 9/10 times you will see changes in 2 weeks of constant action- it will start off rough, but everyone will adapt.

[@nilmereth]

I've been focusing a lot of energy of relationship building. It helps with every kid, but this week I started to see progress with 3 of my hard kids. So gratifying. Stealing the lunch thing.

[@CJReynolds]

I’d love to hear how the lunch experiment goes. I love hearing about other teacher’s experiences, especially when they are willing to do such great work!👍🏽

[@Here2Watch.]

YES!!! 🙌🏼 Preach, Reynolds!

[@viktoriatan578]

Such great advice. Thank u so much Reynolds!

[@CJReynolds]

Glad it was helpful!

[@hinnarana298]

I have a couple of questions: 1) Do you simply ask the student to skip his (lunch) break to talk to you? 2) Where does this talk take place at staff room or in classroom? 3) How do you start the conversation? My experience is that students usually only gives an yes and no answer. I have a student who used to be very enganged in class but this year she just lost her interest. She is all into boys now. (she is in 7th grade and I have known her since 4th grade. I’m not her regular teacher). She is the student I would like to figure out like what went wrong.

[@Tom-gy5ii]

My Deputy head at boarding school did this with me, really helped me get out of my shell and be the best student I could be. Now I'm going to get my Bachelor of Education at Uni :)

[@CJReynolds]

Thanks incredible Tom. Does the deputy know this? My best to you buddy. I hope you find the younger version of you one day and can return the favor.

[@Tom-gy5ii]

@@CJReynolds Thanks CJ. He does! We still are in contact and he's given me a lot of advice on how to become an educator. I really hope so too, and I'm excited to work in the classroom one day :)

[@werresworld]

I needed this video after today, thanks Reynolds! Your videos have helped me stay sane!

[@CJReynolds]

My pleasure Kayla! Thanks for the kind words!

[@caitlynvandermaas593]

Thank you for putting this out there!

[@CJReynolds]

My pleasure Caitlyn! My best to you this year!

[@andrasn5]

CJ, thank you so much for this video!! I have a student right now who is very closed off, but I noticed he’s a talented artist! I’m going to give him the job of illustrating my board quote so we have a positive talking point 😊

[@CJReynolds]

Love it! Great idea!

[@ItsMrsLomac]

This was good info! As a first year teacher I’m finding it challenging to reach them when it’s so many in one class. I teach elementary art PK-5. I pretty much see every student in the school... Any additional advise would be helpful ☺️

[@CJReynolds]

Would it help to email me about what’s going on? We could do a phone call too if it would help. Let’s figure this out. 👍🏽

[@ItsMrsLomac]

Hi yes!! I will send you an email..

[@brittneylyntalks]

This was really helpful. Good reminders. Thank you!

[@aidazekri5312]

What you say reminded me of Maria Montessori method it proved to be efficient with some teenagers

[@valerianavarro4496]

My perspective has actually change thanks to you! 😊 Loved it!

[@CJReynolds]

Wow! That’s a powerful comment! Thanks Valeria!

[@InspiringTeachers]

Loving your energy and mission and meaning of how you give value to your students and help them grow

[@brookerenfro8639]

REYNOLDS! Yes! I needed this like you would not believe.

[@CJReynolds]

My pleasure Brooke!

[@angelacarpenter5734]

Amen bf.. So many don't get this.

[@hannahheran]

Thanks for bringing this up. It reminds me of THUG---"the hate you give little infants f*s everybody."

[@kimberlygoff6117]

Much needed this morning. A very timely message for the current climate.

[@CJReynolds]

I’m glad to hear it Kim! Hope this years the best!

[@barel1384]

How do you make sure kids turn up to detention? What if they are so disengaged they don't care about consequences of skipping detention, like missing class or extra curriculars?

[@teachersconnect4608]

Please come ask this great question on TeachersConnect.

[@xErin4Irelandx]

Thank you for this!!!! 😀

[@toby182]

What do I do when I have 10 students like that in one class, which I've been struggling over 3 terms? Do I watch Freedom Writers? Do I start a breakfast club?

[@kayleegoff141]

At the beginning of the video when the student won’t talk to you or engage with you what I herd in one of my edu class is the student might of had a really strict teacher the previous year of something is happening at home.

[@CJReynolds]

For sure. It’s always about finding the story behind the actions. The story makes the actions understandable. Then you know where to meet the kid and you take it from there.

[@rakheeverma6750]

❤️

[@josanneskipper8102]

💯 spot on and inspiring words! 🙌❤️ Thank you so much for all you do!!

[@CJReynolds]

Thanks for the kind words Josanne! ❤️☺️

[@TroyLFullerton]

Fantastic advice, Man... thanks for that!

[@gotbehavior]

Another great reminder, buddy.

[@CJReynolds]

Thanks Jill☺️❤️

[@Quiology]

❤

[@andrewpoderis8548]

TASTYCAKE WOOOOO

[@ArtMusicHairMakeUp]

Thank you! I love this!!!

[@Froggyzz05]

I wish my science teacher would be this kind because I have autism and when I get overwhelmed I get frustrated and can't help with labs or do assignments and I really don't want to get suspended again

[@JennyMack]

I am a counselor and you are Awesome!

[@PursuingCompatibilityCo]

Do you have any time to talk with me about students that talk back and think they are adults and correct teachers?

[@briellerasmussen67]

😃

[@mariahansen9882]

Can you talk about building relationships as an elective/specials teacher? I see over 500 kids a week and I’m trying to think outside of the box on how to build SO MANY relationships

[@cataafdeezs]

I really needed this video

[@CJReynolds]

My pleasure!

[@sssalsera]

Awesome advice. Thank you!

[@CJReynolds]

Thanks!

[@sssalsera]

@@CJReynolds Kind regards from Spain:-)

[@blciffa]

Great advice and perspective!

[@CJReynolds]

Thanks!

[@Nicole-gb4ze]

Does this work for 3 years old too? Help!

[@queendelaclassroom6450]

Great tips as always CJ 👍🏽

[@CJReynolds]

Thanks Queen!

[@hillwoodhighschoolculinary2958]

Dude this is what I’m going to do. I have a kid that’s not bad but he hates class. He wants to cook but doesn’t want to learn how to do it safely or with responsibility. I’m going to make him lunch for a week.

[@krausiesclues322]

This was really helpful thanks!

[@CJReynolds]

My pleasure 👍🏽❤️

[@rebeccaabshire6038]

This was awesome!!!!

[@CJReynolds]

Thanks Rebecca!

[@boxiness]

This is on point

[@CJReynolds]

Thanks!

[@easyeffingketo2925]

Great idea. SEL at its best

[@A1EyeDCatppn]

Sometimes it is because the student's literacy or numeracy is far below class level. This limits engagement. Then of course, there is simply things like them being hungry or tired or scared... I have a loaf of bread, and some cheese, noodles, Milo available for when they need it.

[@A1EyeDCatppn]

Kindnesses are like money in the bank with students...

[@trishamaebermudez3094]

what happens if he wont go lunch with you and would do tantrums?

[@shelbybridges5361]

How do you feel about rewarding students for doing what they’re supposed to do? I know a lot of people that think rewarding the defiant or even just the constantly-off-task students for staying on task or following the rules is not appropriate. Instead they only reward the students who are really killing it. They think that students should just follow the rules and get punished if they do not. I’m only in my second year of teaching, but I find myself giving little rewards to my struggling students when they follow the rules the first time or stay on task during an assignment. I think the main difference between my system and my colleagues’ system is our style of teaching. Many of them are authoritarian and demand respect and obedience from the start. My personality just doesn’t fit with that style and because I look so young, a lot of times students don’t have the automatic respect that they might have for someone who looks at least the same age as their parents. My main goal has been to build relationships with students so they trust me and respect me. I think sometimes that takes giving a small reward to an on-task student who is normally bouncing off the walls. What do you think?

[@CJReynolds]

I agree with everything you said! I also use rewards for the same thing. I just bought a giant bag of dum dums 😁 for this school yr!

[@shelbybridges5361]

Real Rap With Reynolds sweet!!! I’m glad I’m not just a total softy handing out skittles 😅

[@arkhamraptor7242]

I am a sub mostly because I like the freedom but my issue is cell phones!!! What's really a bothersome is that the school and teachers allow the high school students to have there phones out its a eschew and I don't know how to make an impact when the school allows this?

[@Mongo-ui1ll]

What about a whole class room, thats disrespectful and defiant?

[@MrHoggReads]

I don't think it's realistic to do this with every student. And maybe Mike got lucky because he was chosen. Someone who is quieter probably wouldn't have gotten this intervention.

[@kendallmajeres1381]

What does cj stand for and I love your veidos

[@CJReynolds]

Hey Kendall! Thanks for the kind words. CJ stands for Charles John the 3rd.

[@marysutton434]

😌

[@ms.salinabintiabdullatiff9632]

Is your school a same sex school ..? I notice you only have male students .

[@debbieking5171]

Nothing like molly coddling.

[@immichaeliplaykirbyinsmash920]

1. if you're a white teacher, or admin, talk to a hispanic, black, asian, (not white) student like they are educated; don't put on an urban/hood/ghetto accent for them, it feels bad. If you don't identify as white that's okay; some students who see a white teacher speaking down to the non white students will get hurt feelings and lose motivation. Trust me. . . if you want students staying in the classroom, speak to them with love and respect, from your heart. .