Hey Stepmom! Being The Second Wife Is a Good Thing

[@ashleyelizabeth90]

Not a mom or a step mom but starting a new relationship with a previously married man it's hard

[@macvit]

Dating a guy with kids while he will be my first everything. This is the first relationship I’m in. And its really difficult sometimes when I think that there was a family before me. Anyway he’s a great guy and I still choose him. It just hurts sometimes..

[@emilypaiz]

I know how you feel because lately that’s how I’m feeling

[@idkman4281]

I just bumbed into this videos and I thought I was alone

[@shauntemosley9552]

There are millions of men with no kids why do single women choose this difficult life

[@AM-fj3tf]

​@@idkman4281😢

[@ashleynicole9423]

If it's true that 50% of marriages end in divorce, that's a lot of men with baggage put back on the market! So women like us who marry these men with baggage typically have no outlets to discuss our challenges and we're rarely ever recognized as mothers or parental in any sense of the word (until and if you have children of your own). Stepmother life is extremely difficult and there isn't much support for it out there. Nonetheless glad to have found this channel.

[@nathaliedelgado2183]

I totally agree. I have been searching for a support group because what we go through emotionally and psychologically is really to much to handle at times but sometimes I feel like we are silenced or society just closes our mouth and forces us to accept. And if we go against it we become the bad stepmother or bad wife. If you know a network where we can connect and give support, please let me know. I feel so alone at times. Other people make it seem like it's easy and our feelings does not matter.

[@ashleynicole9423]

@@nathaliedelgado2183 I completely feel your pain. It’s an everyday struggle for me too. I’ve read a lot of books on step parenting... those don’t seem to delve deep enough or provide any real life advice. However I’ve found two online forums that are honest, raw, and so supporting. One is “childless stepmoms” and the other is “steptalk.” (I won’t type the link or address, or else the comment will get deleted.) My next step is therapy which according to other stepmoms is a hit or miss. It’s hard so we have to support each other and let our voices be heard and create spaces for one another. Please check out those forums. I am on them. Good luck and I’m rooting for you:)

[@ivyyale616]

i usually never comment on videos, but i wanted to say thank you. i'm a stepmom of 3, and 10 weeks along with my first pregnancy, and my husband is 13 years older than me. i've been sad, thinking this process wouldn't be as special for my husband since he's already had children. From the beginning he's been reassuring that this means so much to him, but for some reason i've still felt silly for being excited, and like i was figuring this out by myself. this video really helped me; hearing from another stepmom was exactly what i needed to put my nerves at ease. Its comforting to know that these emotions will pass, and our pregnancy will still feel just as magical for both of us. ❤️

[@lizzie1897]

You know reading the comments it occurs to me that doing something the first time is acting a role. You get to fill the role of the first time ….fill in the blank. After you get that out of the way, you are available to be your authentic self responding to the new person. We are excited to be a bride., expecting mom, new mom, grandmother. These are roles. When the adjustment to the role is done, you just get on with it in your own sweet way. You still get to have those roles but you do not have a partner who is going through it with you in the same way. That does need some grief work. Hopefully your partner has signed on with you fully embrace how excited you are to be taking on a new role and his delight and support makes up for the loss. Lots of work for everyone

[@LM-nn7sg]

How did it go? I am having similar issues at this very moment. I’m so depressed about it to be honest.

[@jennabryan1658]

Update Ivy? How yall been?

[@jessicamichalek7559]

I struggle with the fact that our timing for having our own child is taking a while. I have always wanted a child and it’s a hard sting in my chest when I get to witness all the magic that having your own child brings. All in divine timing, but it’s a struggle at time.

[@kimchiwarriorprincess]

Thank you, deeply and sincerely. -stepmom of 2, pregnant with our first together

[@Ad-Lo]

The not having the first grandchild, first son, first daughter, first house, dream honeymoon spot... to be honest, Jamie, everything!

[@nicolesimone4304]

Thank you for this video! I’m a step mom, I also have fertility issues. I’m so scared he doesn’t care if we have a child together because he already has kids.

[@stacemenihandle]

I’m a step mother too. My husband has a son who is 8. In all likelihood he probably doesn’t care if he has kids with me or not as he has never once brought up the fact of wanting to have a child and we are both 35 and time is ticking.

[@aqua6613]

@@stacemenihandle I am 43 and pregnant...I got into a ton of messed up relationships because I wanted a child and my clock was screaming. Please don't put that pressure on you. Make sure the love is there and prepare financially and make sure your relationship is not toxic but solid and that baby will come ❤️ Blessing to you

[@misscamara12]

I don’t understand why so many young women who are never married with no kids choose older men with so much baggage. These guys would match better with divorced moms. I think it makes more sense to get with a guy closer to your age who you can start a family from scratch with. Divorced parents should marry each other and childless singles should marry each other.

[@stacemenihandle]

Agree! I married a man with a kid and I hate each day of my life for it.

[@misscamara12]

@@stacemenihandle I’m sorry to hear that. Why are you still with him? You don’t have to continue living like that. It’s better to stay single than to live with stress. Stress is a silent killer.

[@Noemieorokia]

I feel you’re kidding yourself lady

[@andyandrade8451]

I feel like I’m a forever second choice. It sucks. I hate it. I love him, but I really hate it that he’s already done everything with someone else. What if he doesn’t even care about my future children because, guess what, he’s already had that emotion of becoming a father. So my poor children will have no emotion from their father on their birth? When I walk down the aisle will he be feeling like “here we go again” completely bored?!! I’m struggling and NOBODY talks about it… I feel awful.

[@chihuahuaislife64]

Thank you so much for these videos! You have no idea how much you have helped ease my anxieties

[@elkiesavage6038]

I love you girl. Your amazing. Thanks for what your doing here.. from Australia

[@rebeccabryan5192]

You are a life saver. Thank you for coming out saying all these things ❤❤

[@ashleynicole9423]

I have a video suggestion. Could your possibly talk about disney dad parenting? Permissive, passive, non-consequential, unlimited boundaries type of parenting by the stepdad specifically? Also another topic could be absent biological mother but the kids still don’t accept you as the stepmom so they over rely on dad causing strain in relationship?

[@bossladypvd]

Why should he get a fresh start while we take sloppy seconds?

[@marycuellar8265]

I’m crying in the first 52 seconds… I relate

[@rshire22]

I have this with my partner, we are having a baby at the moment but sometimes he will compare situations to that of his first. Then it gets tough as his excitement is less as he has been there, so it takes away from my excitement. With that said he hasn't been married to his ex and I was married to my ex, so I guess it's no different in that way. Our marriage won't be over shadowed by the first it will just be better as I know I made mistakes and I am sure he is the same with the baby thing. My advantage is I have never had a baby and have zero experience with kids except his some who is 6 years old. So I get so nervous and worried but he assures me he will help me and show me the ropes but he is confident it will be natural anyway. Nice video and made me feel so much better.

[@nathaliedelgado2183]

Jamie, thanks for making this. It helps staying positive.

[@gemmagalang6634]

So hard and so depressing especially if your husband keep telling story about his ex.

[@TriciaRP]

@Jillianne0016 so she is lying in the video.....those men, MOST wish they had stayed with wife number ONE she is lying.

[@lizzie1897]

Oh dear that’s hard! I’d say he’s not done with business. Please get a good couple’s therapist. Don’t neglect this. Wish I’d done so sooner

[@adrianamora6706]

@@TriciaRP I don't think so...maybe some but not every man wishes he stayed with the first. Very often tines they wish they had never met the first.

[@angelaodero6797]

My husband kept on talking about her ex wife because, she had passed on when we met . .. I stopped him, got mad at him and he no longer does it.....sigh of relief.

[@amandairvin8945]

Bailey and I are both each other's second so it makes us equal

[@lizzie1897]

Many good points…but my husband’s partner died. They would still be together if she had not died. Everyone rallied around him in his grief. People do not send cards or bring casseroles when you are grieving over a divorce. So his family thinks of him as the bereaved husband and me as the unknown who couldn’t make her marriage work. I was married for 30 years but no one knows or asks about the circumstances of my situation. Really have experienced how tribal families can be. His daughter actually told her aunt” I wanted to hate her but she was so nice”. Hmm first instinct was hate. I guess I can thank my parents that I knew how to be nice

[@breecruz1939]

omg!tell me why my husband is also 13 years older and he had 3 kids with his ex wife!! Sometimes i get depressed from not even feeling comfortable saying what i want to say.

[@Ad-Lo]

Beautybybree why do you feel unable to speak your mind? That’s not a sign of a healthy relationship and it is also bad for your mental well-being.

[@ashleynicole9423]

Beautybybree Yeah it is really hard and sometimes we get judged for feeling the way we do. But we have to remember that our spouses should be prioritizing us and putting our needs first. A healthy marriage makes a healthy family and healthy kids. Try to let your spouse know how you’re feeling in very diplomatic terms but don’t let it just be talk. Always follow through or he will always adjust back to putting your feelings second.

[@da90349]

I AM IN THE EXACT SAME BOAT AS YOU

[@ivyyale616]

i am in the exact same boat and its so nice to hear from other people who understand 😅

[@olgaaidasheva718]

Thank you for this video, I am a stepmom

[@VenusVixenTarot]

Thank you so much for this. I really needed to hear these things !!

[@PINKEYfly]

Wow so relatable.

[@michellesiliezar7190]

Im a first time being a stepmom and I just have a question how how to be a good stepmom to my stepson

[@Natchel100]

I’m loving this

[@carlosenciso45]

Great video

[@mutyayaldua9420]

So sad being a step mom.and a second wife

[@Noemieorokia]

Yes and she is delusional

[@tarasimmons337]

Exactly! Second wife and stepmom means failure.

[@TriciaRP]

God WANTS us all to have OUR OWN HUSBAND and or wife... Read the holy bible and read about Rachel and Leah Sarah and Hagar..... This is going on NOW AND GOD IS WATCHING this FOOLISHNESS Of stepwives and all these men leaving their women and vice versa....it is a hellbound situation that our culture is trying to KEEP IT IS SERIOUSLY damaging

[@RepentImmediately]

@@TriciaRP Most people don't seek God when choosing a spouse though and never have God's blessing on their marriage to begin with, and it's mostly women who file for divorce, not men

[@shauntemosley9552]

This is ridiculous it seems like complaining don’t marry a guy with kids in it’s that simple if you want to build connection with step kids it starts on day one

[@TriciaRP]

People so DEMONIC and will go to hell whether they believe God or not...it is against God order....but rock on ..Satan love stuff like this...