Another Q+A on Our Blended Family Life

2nd wife, stepmom x3, momx1 answers your questions about blended family life!

[@No-tf1lc]

Love this Q&A! So glad I came across your channel, I have a blended family too!

[@alaynalynn5228]

Me too!!! Its so beautiful to see and so helpful!

[@BlendedLife]

We love that you did a Q&A on the blended family! Scheduling is SO important but SOOOOO hard when you have 4 kids going 4 different places! What does your custody schedule look like? (the young sibling at home looking for the others made me think of this) And not talking bad about the Ex is such a huge thing! We just did a podcast/video on it! "The EX Factor" Great advice!

[@jackallen9045]

One thing I did about the meals with the step-children was that I asked them to make a list of the meals they like, that way they can’t complain about it when they eat 😃

[@eliza-woodhouse]

I'm a mum with an ex husband who lives with a partner 20 years younger with no other kids yet. She has been stepping on my toes left , right and centre, even though Ive shown her a lot of respect and kindness. She has been upsetting my 14 year old son for 5 years. I'm trying to get her to come to your way of thinking , thanks for the videos, I know she has a tough roll. I just want her on my side and not resent me and go against my ideas and opinions as far as health food and extra curricular ideas go. I have 75% custody. It's also very hard being the mum with a step mum in the picture too. You're doing a great job. Thanks.

[@GabrielaQuevedo-y1x]

The fact that you said HIS partner is 20 years younger "tells me you have some resentment here which is not good (why does it matter to you that she is 20 years younger?)". But the 25% of the time he is with their dad and that's beyond your control, just like your son is with you 75% of the time and dad/stepmom can't control what goes on in your home. If stepmom/dad agrees with your way of parenting then great but some aren't. My stepdaughters mom allows her to dress in crop tops showing her body and butt and taking racey pictures. She is 11. My husband and I are VERY against this BUT we can't control what is going on in her home. When she is with us, we have rules and standards that she must follow. That is how it is. This is something the father needs to establish in my opinion, not you or stepmom. I am a stepmom and I do not step on moms toes but I am the woman in my home and my husband expects my stepdaughter to view me as a mother figure, just as much as I am expected to see her as my own child (not a stepchild that isn't mine). If mom has an issue with it, then there you can see moms intensions, why does it bother her so much? Moms can't say "stop stepping on my toes" and then expect stepmom to love their stepchild like their own. Like it is a double-standard....

[@ashleywidman5494]

What you do when my step kids mom is putting their dad and I in a bad light . Tell them he cheating on her with me , which didn't happened

[@queenelizabee7246]

ashley widman I'm sort of in that position and I would suggest having an adult conversation with their mom and try not to involve the kids as much as possible but also let them know the truth. If that's not how you met. Tell them that. And if it doesn't work out. I'd count on setting their mom straight and how that's not appropriate or appreciated.

[@marcochavanne]

They will eventually lose respect for a parent if they constantly trash the other one. Just lead by example and address things as they come up with love and understanding

[@user-lv4ok9vo5o]

People in this sitch need to research parental alienation and decide if they still want to be involved in a step relationship. How did things turn out for you?

[@GabrielaQuevedo-y1x]

Yeah I would tell the kids that that is not true and tell them the truth. It will show that mom is miserable and jealous more than you being honest and truthful with your stepkids@@queenelizabee7246

[@monicabuitrago2625]

I am dating (planning to marry) a beautiful man that has 3 kids. Last month he told me that he wanted to have a joying bank account and that I will be paying for kids healthcare, college, cars etc ... he says that if I take him I am taking him as a full deal package. I just find it very unfair because I am 30 and I had always being careful of not having kids because I knew they were a lot of responsibility , also they have their mother and him.

[@monicabuitrago2625]

When I get married with him Should I be paying and sharing my finances with him?

[@julianacheriza1575]

Monica Buitrago HELL NO that’s their parents responsibility if he wants his kids to have healthcare college car as he needs to make a separate bank account for his kids that has nothing to do with you of course you guys should have a joint account to pay bills , vacation and all that stuff

[@monicabuitrago2625]

Juliana Cheriza thank you so much !

[@Noemieorokia]

Girl don’t do this ! 1 are you planning to have kids with this man ? I know blended family wants to say they are family but there’s some technicality... it’s him and possibly the mother who have to pay. Did he introduced you to the kid ?

[@fatimaamier8262]

@Monica Bultrago... Hell no!! I am married for 5yrs to a man with 3 teenage daughters of 1 who is married now with 2 grandchildren.... My hubby pays for the the normal household expenses... I see to my own things... But as a Muslim the rules are that the husband should clothe and see to all your needs.... I initially use to spend quite a bit of money on things I wanted to buy as I needed it. 5yes later I now realise what a big mistake.... I basically wasted my monies on things he had to buy... The point I am making is that you will cut yourself off a lot of things and he will spend the money on unneccessary things... I now realise I made a big mistake spending your own money when he should be doing it..Also this man is taking advantage of you.. Please dont do it... Invest your monies and don't tell him everything

[@indigodande7542]

What do you do when the x weaponizes the kid with visitation time using it as a mental control warfare over my husband. She either withholds the kid for long periods of time or drops her off with no for warning. I’ve had a conversation with my husband about boundaries but I feel like I have to step in to solidify the line. It’s 3 am I’m tired but awake watching these lol. But she pisses him off then I get to deal with an evil husband lol. He’s agreed to try counseling. We have a pretty solid relationship and don’t argue much. Also I’m white my husband is South American and the x is elsalvidorian so we are a blended family.

[@missmichelle2201]

Indigo Dande yikes! You’re dealing with a salvadorian? I’m sorry.

[@user-lv4ok9vo5o]

Nacho step parenting. How did things work out?