Hey Steve: A Controlling Mom

Today Steve tackles a few more questions from the audience - including a woman who wants independence from her mother.
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[@Someone-vm5hv]

Lol this girl looks so pissed. She certainly didn't get the answer she was looking for 😂😂

[@thatlchiponda3368]

Exactly

[@morgandawn6413]

She probably didn't expect to be made fun of.

[@luwamalem9537]

Lool she embarrassed! He told her what it was & she wanted him to side with her 😂😩😩

[@2005SHERWIN]

She definitely looks pissed.

[@thrilla72]

She's a bit spoilt that's why!

[@2Churros]

Looks like she's about to cry.

[@x3Eyle]

I felt so bad looking at her with that face, I feel so bad for laughing 😂😂 God forgive me

[@f.u.p.m_rah9669]

She asked haha

[@f.u.p.m_rah9669]

@@clodollas4325 He actually did answer her question.

[@gorgono1]

of course she is. That is what spoiled brats do.

[@melaninandaura9713]

She was embarrassed af

[@ocubex]

While I feel her pain, the truth is as Steve says - you can't have the responsibility of a child and want to be treated like an adult.

[@tem1461]

Wow well said

[@rachelmanavi4819]

College is the responsibility of an adult. It’s common sense people

[@sarakowal1846]

ocubex tf? She 22- not a child. The mother doing too much

[@WooChanJo1989]

@@sarakowal1846 money is how the world works and adults understand that

[@mostandwatsonbreaks]

Treating your kid like this will only hold them back. People saying “she lives with her mom so she can’t be treated like an adult” that’s kind of pathetic to say. You should help your kid grow and giving them more responsibility is the only way to do that.

[@misskitagee3630]

She's 22 and doing something with her life it will all pay off soon

[@johnberry6197]

eyeam keke I'm 22 and going through the same thing I hope it pays off because the way this world is it's so easy to get discouraged.

[@misskitagee3630]

john berry very true but you have to keep your eye on the prize and just know that you are doing something to put yourself in a better position

[@johnberry6197]

eyeam keke I'm doing the best that I can to get to a better position. I'm trying to make some crucial changes to improve my life and it isn't easy but I'm giving it a shot.

[@tianamiller6820]

@@johnberry6197 interesting because youre a guy going through it I usually only hear about it from girls. What's your experience like?

[@johnberry6197]

Tianna Miller Well my situation is kinda odd. I'm in school and I do well in school but when it comes to finding a job it's always been a challenge for me for some reason. Where I live there's not many people my age and the ones that are either have kids or they're going through their own problems and I wouldn't consider myself an introvert because I hate being alone but it's not easy for me to meet new people. I think because of that my social skills are not as strong as they could be and that makes it even harder to build with people my age. I help my dad run his business so I am contributing my labor to help him make money and keep bills paid, but I wouldn't mind having my own work to tend to. I know I'm telling more than what you asked but I'm trying to give you a clear picture as to what its like for me.

[@tanya-sue1448]

She looks like she regrets asking steve anything.😂

[@bluebellcrushedvelvet]

Exactly!!! I laughed soooooo good!!! Sit yo ass down goddamn it girl!!! Whachu still standing fo!!!?? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@avidparent4643]

She does. It also made her think. She's a smart young lady. She'll be alright🥰

[@silverk496]

All women do when they don’t get an answer they want

[@lancinejuniortoure5249]

😂yeah

[@eltonnyakatsare7689]

Well that's Steve for you, it can go both ways, on another day he could gave given a her a different answer it depends on his mood

[@TheRealJay33]

“People in hell want ice water” 😂😂😂

[@exclusivesuperblend]

Jay Brown so cruel 😂😂😂😂😂😂 but so true

[@lorrainebanath-yasharahla9561]

Jay Brown: My grandparents use to use that phrase 😂😂😂😂😂

[@brooklynforever1990]

Savage 😂

[@RenaK-2023]

The oldest saying in the book smh

[@KimmiePie1]

Jay Brown at that point I realized how similar the parenting of Stevies’ and my parents must’ve been

[@Andrehutch876]

Loooolz...This is the worst thing she could ever ask Steve...guess she didn't watch other videos to see Steve's opinion on such topic.

[@a.m.mupdates3295]

Girl if you need your freedom, move out..she is your mom

[@Janto001]

That’s just the thing.... been in this situation... if parents are paying all your bills ... there’s incentive to stay. Why is she still there??? She don’t have to get a job. But she don’t like the rules. She wants the best of both worlds. I’m sure she knows ALL this and more. Obviously she wants the path of least resistance. Does she really want to pay her bills by working or have her parents do it but endure the house setting?

[@lorrainebanath-yasharahla9561]

A.M.M updates: OK 😃 YOU BETTER KNOW IT 💯✊💪

[@juliettdaisy]

Jason Antonio my problem is my mom can’t pay bills on her own so I help out yet I still have a lot of rules too. but I can’t move out bc I’m busy paying bills here so like what do I do ? lol bc I help out I contribute! I still feel like I should be at home. I’m 19. I know I’m still young. but ya girl wants at least a later curfew.

[@ianmci]

She can't move out... have you been listening.

[@TrintsuKiishu2]

@@juliettdaisy If you contribute, you can contribute to the rules. In this video the girl doesn't help with the bills, so she can't help with making the rules. If you want to move out, start saving every month as much money as you can. Doesn't matter how little you start with. It matters how much you will save up in the long run.

[@a.s.7235]

she was about to cry

[@lorrainebanath-yasharahla9561]

Amir Sameer: I think it is more to her story than she was telling. How was her mom being CONTROLLING vs BEING NOSY. What she stated was really a NOSY MOM and NOT CONTROLLING.

[@vgamerpro121]

Favorite part *why is she so quite*

[@user-zx5xw4yw2e]

*Quiet

[@christian_person5058]

VGAMERPRO because she doesn’t contribute financially but is saying she is independent! She should have known not to ask Steve that question! He is old school, we don’t play!

[@rja9797]

Christian _person and us younger generation don’t play with y’all either. You think we like y’all? He’ll Bk we working to get your asses out so we can take this world and you can bow to our whim. Oh it won’t be fun for y’all y’all will be in a living hell

[@MotorYardtraphik]

Rj A you don’t even like yourself insecure little boy. Every generation is worthless you pompous windbag

[@ArielGTAcS]

quiet

[@preciousjewlz284]

She looks like a good girl...respectful and all☺️

[@alvinbiggsjr8351]

Respectful but ignorant/uninformed

[@lollymadikiza3174]

@@alvinbiggsjr8351 the mom is even taking advantage of her good behavior instead of being grateful bcoz sum daughters out Der are disrespectful & dnt take orders(south Africa)

[@Goodliving22]

Yeah she does

[@EnjoyLife2100]

They all do...

[@NSR95]

@@lollymadikiza3174 Doing the normal things now has become an achievement! Wow!!!

[@jayrod9183]

She looks bothered

[@francoiswilliams815]

jay rod very bothered 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@mscisland]

Because it’s concerning her life and they laughed at her as if she told them a joke. How would you feel if you were in this position?.

[@TT-th1gb]

She feels entitled without knowing how humble she should really because once she is on her own and mom isn't paying for 99.9% of everything anymore - she'll then see how her lack of appreciation can damage her future blessings

[@niestagateka7907]

She looks reallll angryyy 😬😂

[@jaquanbell6070]

He had me at "why is she so quiet?" lol

[@sunnyblue1163]

I was raised by my grandparents and they were very controlling. So, when I turned 18, I learned that in order for me to actually live my life, I would have to get a job and use my own money and stop relying on them. So that's what I have been doing. I'm almost 23 now and I always use my own money for things, I don't borrow from them often and when I do it's not much and I always pay them back really quickly so that I don't owe them anything and I'm not tied down. If you want freedom, you have to purchase it yourself.

[@EnjoyLife2100]

Worked out great then. 💪🏿 Life lesson

[@mellow2636]

She’s a college student?? She doesn’t have time to slave away in exchange for minimum wage.

[@EnjoyLife2100]

@@mellow2636 she doesn’t have time to be independent then 👍🏽 👌 she’s a dependent college student. Live in that…

[@mellow2636]

@@EnjoyLife2100 One day her momma will be a dependent old woman, let’s see how she likes this treatment then.

[@EnjoyLife2100]

@@mellow2636 you are a lost cause. 😂 you will forever be indebted to your mother.. she kind of had you ya know? Easy to see you have no empathy and don’t understand the magnitude of a mother 😂 #Embarrasment

[@richellegiles6681]

I agree that she can't complain because she's living there all expenses paid but in black households we tend to think that lack of privacy and space is the price you have to pay for not living on your own. Those are things that everyone deserves no matter what the circumstances.

[@mujiha]

say it again please. i grew up in something like the same situation

[@cattyagent]

I hear what you're saying but I disagree. If an adult child of mine is living in my house, I reserve the right to walk in to their rooms whenever I want. I want them to keep it clean & tidy, and I want to be sure it's up to scratch, ergo the inspection. Also, I don't want alcohol, drugs or fornicating on my property. I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life, I'm just saying what's acceptable & what's not in MY house. If you don't like my rules, get your own house. When I come over to yours, I'd certainly respect your rules.

[@IqraKhan-vc7lo]

Same for us brown kids

[@peacheskong2245]

LOL, Clearly you've never been in a white house before nor an Asian one puhahah

[@keemkeem3820]

@@cattyagent What you said was certainly logical. Pretty much pointed out all the negative factors. Yes obviously you can walk in at any point but every human being deserves privacy or boundaries. That my rules or get out most times is used just to mistreat the child like the parent aint make the decision to bring them in the world.

[@simpleislandgirl95]

Things like this make kids push farther away from their parents. If my mom was like this. I'd move out as soon as I'm able and get stepping. Sorry not sorry. She probably only hear from me twice a month. Her mother sounds out of control

[@jazlynarii7035]

I feel so sad for her she was trying to ask a question no one is taking her seriously

[@jermainee26]

I get that she lives in her mom house but she should still be able to have her own privacy! Living in someone house doesn’t give them the right to just disrespect you💯

[@alvinbiggsjr8351]

Gotta earn that respect unfortunately.

[@nozyakuza5745]

@@alvinbiggsjr8351 👌🏻💯💯

[@methosimortal]

she's not just living in her mum's house. she is financially dependent on her. to her mum, she's still a child which is why she treats her that way. children don't have privacy. they have parental supervision.

[@jermainee26]

@@methosimortal I actually respect that outlook on the situation

[@Kriyena]

@@methosimortal That's doesn't sound right. Children do and deserve privacy. Just because you're adult going to school while living at home makes your privacy nonexistent. I was going to college and my mother thought it was ok to open my mail. Which isn't ok and against the law. I was also giving her money too. Also some college kids stay home because their parents ask them too because of cost or family reasons, or some parents don't ask for money from their college kids too for different reasons.

[@ChristinaLibra]

Yeah I disagree with this one. As a parent if your child is in college you know 9 times out of 10 they are broke and are not financially stable so why even expect them to contribute to gain independence or privacey? Sounds like the mom needs to get a life or a hobby.

[@yuhz1m1]

But why can't the kid get a part-time job? That's what I did when I was in college. It helped me to grow up and become much more responsible much more quickly.

[@ChristinaLibra]

yuhz1m1 There's nothing wrong with that. I too had a part time job while attending college. However getting a job was meant for me to gain responsibility and learn to become an adult, not to obtain simple privacy. Seems like her mom is just bored with her life and nosey.

[@minab8777]

@@ChristinaLibra YOu can't expect the same privacy of an independent person when you are not one. If her mom bought the phone and is paying the bill- the daughter cannot expect the same privacy as if she did those things herself. I'm not saying the mom needs to be scrolling through her conversations BUT you gotta know who you're dealing with and I am saying that you have to adjust your expectations. If you WANT privacy you must put yourself in a situation where you can expect it.

[@finally97]

Her face told it all. I wonder if there were details that she missed that could have explained how her mom is controlling beyond jumping on her facetime calls and asking about her grades. I know that they only have so much time to ask the question but if her mom is truly controlling and not just a concerned or nosy parent she needed more details. How is she controlling? Does she make her eat certain food? Does she drive her to and from class? Does she only allow her to use Uber as opposed to taking the bus if she wants? Is she not allowed to go to college parties? Does she choose her friends, clothes, major, job, etc? That's controlling. Asking about grades and jumping on call is concern and/or nosy.

[@SpecialKRNB]

Asking about grades and jumping on her daughter's face-time can be quite controlling and invasion of privacy... realistically... from this perspective during her middle and high school years... I'm sure her parents had enough trust and say so on the friends she would hang out with and enough receipts to know how her daughter performs in school such as progress reports and report cards...and enough of her mom's judgement on either and or both of these choices she makes to maneuver through life with a healthy understanding of either or both.. if not, then I say in this instance her mom was slacking off and what do people do when they slack off for so long they try to make up for it... thus producing control and what comes with control is frustration on her mom's part...why should she check her grades and intrude on calls with her college buddies when she had enough to see how her daughter interacts and the friends she chooses in her inner circle during her middle and high school years... I chose those two schools because that's the teenage years where children need the most preparation and guidance. (I'm only addressing your response directly because we honestly don't have enough info to speak more about it)

[@lorrainebanath-yasharahla9561]

Michelle Adams: EXACTLY

[@yuhz1m1]

Asking about grades is par for the course if mom is the one paying the college tuition plus housing and feeding her throughout it. I don't know about the former, but the latter is clearly true in this case. If I'm paying your tuition, your room and your board you best believe that I reserve the right to inquire about your grades.

[@vonettawoods4659]

True Michelle Adams I have a cousin that's 50 something yrs old and her mother still controls her every move. It's ok to protect your child that's a mother but to control them is something else

[@imloved82]

I want to disagree cause she may look like a good and respectful young adult but that can be deceiving. My 18 almost 19 year old had people thinking I was the worst mother ever and they finally got to see her in action. I don’t ask much out of my daughter but to wash her own dishes, wash her own clothes, keep her bathroom clean cause it’s the public bathroom, and keep room clean cause the landlord does inspections. She does none of the above. That’s all that I bother her about. She pays no bills, does not contribute to the groceries, I cut the cable off cause I don’t watch it(she did and it was an unnecessary bill for me), I take her to and from work and wherever else she wants to go(no gas is given). So when she hollers she’s grown and don’t need me for anything yet I provide all her basic necessities and a few extra things that aren’t a necessity yes I have a problem. Cause that’s not grown and that’s not independent

[@Tylanjamison96]

Hey I'm 22 and graduating in May too!!! Class of 2019!!! 👨‍🎓

[@Z1nny]

Congratulations! 👍

[@Yolzee91]

I love it when they ask a question expecting Steve to take their side and he takes the other party’s side. Schooled! 😂😂😂

[@tommywilliams8170]

I did at least half of the stuff he mentioned and I still got treated like a child. It will only get better if you are not living under her roof or anyone else's.

[@Moiselle555]

Yes, same with me. I wash the dishes, sweep all the rooms, mop all the rooms, do laundry, I wash my own bathroom, I fill the water tanks. I still get treated like a child. So I know the pain 😢😓

[@muhammedahmed3291]

Why do Americans always feel the need to drive their kids out of the house. It makes financial sense to live with your family if your college/university is close to home. It also makes sense to save your salary for a house/mortgage. Why waste your money on unnecessary rent and bills. I love Steve but this was not the right way to approach this. There's a difference between being a vigilant parent and being a nosy parent. Her mother is nosy. Her daughter is an adult and should be treated as such...it doesn't matter if she lives with them or not.

[@bigq1977]

You hit the nail on the head with this reply. As long as she contributes/pay bills in the house, she and her mother should respect their own privacy. As long as the daughter isn't doing anything detrimental to cause havoc in the house, her mother has to let her be.

[@bigq1977]

@Natasha Williams True. I noticed that with her demeanor.

[@autobotdiva9268]

Privacy & independence are 2 different things. Move out then!

[@muhammedahmed3291]

@@miariva Congrats on buying your first house :D

[@hiphopson]

@Natasha Williamsunknown so you assume the worse. thats a lot coming from someone who doesn't even know her.

[@bdoti1822]

I love Steve but I didn't like his answer. I felt like she genuinely came there to get some advice and it got thrown back in her face unnecessarily. I can understand her mum asking where she's going but hopping in on her FaceTime calls? Her mum is doing too much.

[@autobotdiva9268]

Bdoti The advice is simple MOVE OUT

[@butyoucancallmesam]

He gave her practical advice! You want to be independent, gain it. Leave the nest. This girl is totally dependent upon her momma.

[@devonlovemusic]

Exactly the mom needs something else to occupy her time than to be all over the phone calls. She wanted advice to get through the here and now of the situation. My advice would be don't wait to start looking for a job the day after you graduate start the interview process 3 months before you leave school. Make a friend that lives on campus and then crash at their dorm sometimes to get away from the house and at least hang out with people your own age.

[@bdoti1822]

Devon Love I agree with you 💯

[@dashxlife]

I'm 22 and live at home in college. My mom is the say way. Always calling asking what time I'll be home and wondering what I'm doing. Lmao honestly I don't pay bills and I never cook meals for the family. I'll help out if my mom needs quick money for something but I'm usually a hard ass about it. There's times where I'm kinda a slob tbh. So hearing this kinda gave me the same reality check. Just gotta deal with it till I move the hell out. Hopefully this summer

[@idontknow-ms8mc]

It's weird. She's 22. Her mother doesnt need to be that involved. She shouldnt even want to be.

[@NBaBall3r26]

@DearMe1981 yes u are right

[@coppercoloredcutiexoxo2315]

It ain't weird when ; she is paying for her whole adult life right now . She is paying for the education , so she needs to make sure , that it was a smart investment . If the young lady wasn't doing her part in school ; then mom shouldn't take care of a slacker . And if she wants adult freedom she needs employment , and an apartment guide book . You can't need all that help ; but don't wanna answer any questions . If you borrow from a finance institution , they have lots of questions ; you'll answer them , won't you ?

[@idontknow-ms8mc]

@@coppercoloredcutiexoxo2315 A parent isn't a bank. At the end of the day, there are always ways to get money. Some good, some bad. It is supposed to be different with family, especially parents. There are reasonable questions, like how's school going? Then there's unreasonable questions that even a bank wouldn't ask and don't serve any purpose but for the parent for exert power and feel in complete control. It's unnecessary. Also remember, things reverse as we age. That same child will be the one taking care of the parent. The same respect that you know you're going to want to have in your old (but still dependent) age is what you want to give to your adult (but for rn dependent) children. Otherwise, it may come back to bite.

[@christian_person5058]

K 2 if you don’t like it move out! It’s simple, not that complicated! Forget all the karma BS! The name of the game is get your own damn place!

[@minab8777]

@@idontknow-ms8mc right, parent isn't a bank. They AREN'T ever going to get back their money. Things don't always reverse as we age. I've seen MANY MANY families with ailing parents living pay check to pay check with grown entitled children still living in their house contributing next to nothing. The line is very fine between "controlling" and having a respectable set of guidelines as the responsible party footing the bill. Maybe the mom doesn't need to be on Facetime calls BUT if she bought the phone and is paying the bill the daughter shouldn't expect the same level of privacy as if she was footing the bill herself. I agree that parents should allow their children some freedom but at the same time if you are an adult living at home you have to understand that you are not in the same situation as adults who pay for themselves and I think that's the problem.

[@stephaniebelyavskaya4791]

When I got evicted from my first apartment when I thought I was a “big girl” at 20 years old and thought I could handle is the when I regretted moving out so early 😂💸 ENJOY IT SIS, get a job, save up money and move out when you’re financially free

[@tiffanifarrington4039]

Only thing I'm going to say is parents should never tell their kids... If you don't like it... Leave. They just might do it... Like I did. I'm so tired of hearing my mom cry about how she's worried about me... In my eyes... You shouldn't have ever told me to get out! Now I want nothing to do with her. No decent parent wants their kid to leave. You say you do but then when they really do leave... What will you do?

[@Mcmill90]

Celebrate and turn their room into a game room

[@saidanakaziba3119]

You know even our mothers didnt get parenting so sometimes do it the wrong way. U got to understand your mom whilst she lives. Focus on her positive

[@elizabethtimothy4776]

Please, Please, try and get in touch with your mum, tell her that you were hurt but forgive her because she is human and your mum, we all are not perfect, we make mistakes. Don't let it be too late, life is too short. I don't want you to regret the time missed.This holiday season is a perfect time to get back to each other's lives.

[@tiffanifarrington4039]

@@elizabethtimothy4776 Why do you assume I haven't tried? And recently... So There's that! Another thing... Obviously you don't know the truth about "Christmas"... Sorry not trying to be mean but this holiday is nothing but a pagan lie. I'm a mother myself there's no speaking to that woman I would never put my daughter through that abuse. At this point there's nothing to be had.

[@flamursyla8756]

Nah sweetheart the problem isnt your mother telling you to move out if you dont like it. The problem is with you moving out and then acting like an offended little brat and not wanting to have to do anything with your mother after that. I bet if Steve asked you all those questions he asked this girl before you left youd respond the same as this girl. So listen to me. If it wasnt something like stealing from you or making your live worse and things like that, go see her. One day she be old or wont be here anymore and you will regret not seeing her after you left your house your whole damn life. Also dont forget if you have children and they see you not seeing your mother, youll end up one day not being seen by your children too. Good luck to you.

[@tiffaraogaldez]

You got six months left on your sentence 😂😂 I laughed so hard!

[@jbzhummerh2gamer]

As a person who lives with their parents I know how she feels...

[@divymathur4163]

How old are you?

[@judycruz3795]

But again it’s there rules

[@sarahsimpkins1311]

I remember It was a time I had to go back home at 37 yes I still had to follow my dad rules that was 5 years ago

[@Icequeen_70]

@@sarahsimpkins1311 it's not so much as following their rules. As a returning adult it's respecting how someone else's home is run. 😁

[@sarahsimpkins1311]

@@Icequeen_70 ok I hear you 😊

[@tianamiller6820]

Sis I'm going through the same thing. If she hasn't already she should get a job if she can that way she can spend her own coin and won't be liable to anybody. Contribute a little to household bill or items or just get your mum something you know she will like and appreciate and also you will need to assert your independence. If your doing all of that you can come to your mother and tell her'i am no longer a child or teenager and the only way I will grow and be self reliant is if you give me the space to do just that'. Another thing is you don't need to tell her every plan and deyail because they will try and ruin them (controlling moms). Sometimes just do things on your own accord and forget about letting her know EVERYTHING.

[@princessjasmin4218]

I would agree with you. If I told my mom EVERYTHING I wanted to go do, she would either literally never let me do anything😑, call me every 5 minutes to see what I'm doing, or yell at me to come home...

[@elisangelasemedo]

"Why she is so quiet?"🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@francoiswilliams815]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Shiddy]

Steve’s dad said, people in hell want cold water? really! This made ma ❄️morning 🤣🤣🤣

[@francoiswilliams815]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@1971AEDWARDS]

My mom “WANTED” me to stay dependent to her.

[@tianamiller6820]

Interesting. Some parents revel in your dependency on them so you don't have the freedom to do and go where you want.

[@mimiandy1683]

Sounds like my maternal grandmother. She'll act as if she desperately wants you to leave--yet--will do anything to keep you in her home. When I lived with her, I would hear her passive-aggressive comments about invading her space. But she tossed out every application from Housing Authority that came for me, in the mail.

[@kianna2530]

Snap!

[@harmonygodess99]

Toxic moms are the worst. They wish for everything by slapping one's throat.

[@lovereachable]

So does my mom want me to be so. I ask her to take a walk.

[@doomzidoomzi]

This aint new rims. This is respect and privacy.

[@christinebenjamin5818]

You can still set boundaries. There are ways you've acted with your kids when they were little that you can't continue to do when they're older. They have a mind of their own. They have likes/dislikes too and parents have to respect that. Parents can't do whatever they want because they aren't always right. They're human too.

[@alaura61489]

Hang in there girl... the day my mom got mad at me and she almost said you're grounded but then realized I'm grown live by myself and pay my bills.. oh that sweet day... lol

[@monicablunt3748]

I just sent this to all my kids especially my 17 year old daughter cause this is her all day. You can't depend on your parents and call yourself grown. AND ANY HELP YOU GET AFTER YOU FINISH HIGH SCHOOL IS A BLESSING! Be lucky you can stay in your mom house as an adult and not help. She helping you gain Independence by letting you stay responsibility free!

[@elisatandarel9675]

Steve didn’t understand the question… no matter you live with your parents , you need your privacy . You can’t be all in my phone and asking who I’m FaceTiming , give your child space and the more strict you are , the less your child will feel comfortable to talk to you about things

[@nelgwoo9487]

is your parents always have their eyes or always watching your every move in their house? when you go to the bathroom to poop or pee or to shower, does your parents watching you? then why do you say about privacy, you are in their house. if you want privacy ,get out and live your own.

[@nelgwoo9487]

is your parents always have their eyes or always watching your every move in their house? when you go to the bathroom to poop or pee or to shower, does your parents watching you? then why do you say about privacy, you are in their house. if you want privacy ,get out and live your own.

[@eduardofcgo]

I don’t understand the Americans obsession with money and “independence”. If she moved out she probably would need to be studying and waiting tables on the side. Is cleaning tables for tips a life of independence? Just let her invest in her future right now and do the best that you can so that she can succeed. It’s your kid, she deserves better treatment that any friend that would be living with you. Try to enjoy their company while you can.

[@mars9313]

Although I agree with most of what you said, I have to say that its the other way, the daughter should try to enjoy the company of the mother cause yes her mom has rules but very soon the daughter will move out and be busy with her own bills maybe her own family so its guaranteed she will be "free" but everyday the mother is aging more and more so the time with her is something she isn't guaranteed to have later on, so instead of her looking at it like prison all because of a Facetime call, she should just look at it as the last few months with family cause once you're out and responsibility kicks in she will have no time.

[@GoodNBadGurl]

That’s what as a daughter she can think as well. Instead of waiting on tables and not suffer with money, I should enjoy the time I have the time with my parents and support I am provided by them bc being a independent adult, lasts a lifetime.

[@aquaaria3489]

They lack family values, I guess, even if I heard many say that they actually value family a lot. At the end of the day, parents shouldn’t delude themselves into thinking that their kids would be easily accepted in well paying jobs as soon as they turn 18. Being a parent is a constant sacrifice, especially if someone decided to become a parent even if they are financially stable. It’s not certain, and definitely not likely, for your children to have it all in their hands at just 18 years of age, so a responsible parent should know that they probably need to invest on them for 20+ years.

[@BRESHEET]

She could contribute, this underscores the point about dependency.

[@Michelle-pn9xt]

She was going to graduate in less than a year, so that is incorrect.

[@kristenhuynh6272]

Right on point Steve. I still live with my parents (during the summer). I paid for my own car, gas, groceries, car maintenance and repair. I work two jobs. I hang out with friends on weekends. I give them private time and they give me mine as well as long as I'm home by 11:00pm my parents doesn't ask questions.

[@gymnasticsrocks10]

“People in hell want ice water” DEAD 😂

[@natalata1435]

You got 6 months left on your sentence LOL 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@barry1492]

I had similar issues with my mother and asked the same question and go the same answer. But it doesn't answer WHY. "Because I can, and if you don't like it, you can leave," is not an answer for WHY certain rules are made. I own a house and can make whatever rules I want when people come to visit. I don't, however, make unreasonable rules in an effort to control people. If I did, I wouldn't have any friends.

[@mahnoorahmed5976]

Considering the economic situation and the loans and lack of trust in terms towards millenials abilities in hiring for work, we are still living in our parents homes. Not entirely our fault. Secondly, parents need to respect privacy; my parents did and i haven't done anything crazy or out of bounds because i liked the trust that was given.

[@minab8777]

We don't know this lady's situation but I agree if she has violated her mom's trust on several occasions then it might be reasonable for mom to be so controlling. I like the idea of living in parents houses until you become financially independent HOWEVER I do think if young adults are to do that then they need to understand they are NOT independent and have to give up some privacy and control. That's just how it is. Parent's *should* respect privacy of their children but they don't NEED to- the adult children CAN move- they may not like the living standards out on their own but they are the ones in need- not the parents.

[@BRESHEET]

No excuses, she could pay a phone bill.

[@evaristendabanye1515]

Which kind of privacy do your parents respect for you? sometimes children don't know how to differentiate the privacy and being independent?

[@chrystaln1709]

I understand how she feels, i paid my way at home and everytime i got a raise my mum would raise the bills. So i didnt tell her saved quietly and moved out. Some mums are to controlling and get in your business way to much. Pls note before you reply to this. My mum was extremely toxic and is an alcoholic and loves to spread rumours.

[@john10jf]

this is tricky in my opinion because yes she does live under her mother while finishing up school. There will always be some type of rules under parents house. But her mom needs to realize that shes 22. you raised her well and rules regarding the house is understandable but looking over her ft calls or asking bout hw like huh lol. She a whole senior clearly shes been keeping up with what she has to do.

[@gisellelugo22]

I agree with this! God forbid that I try to jump in my mothers calls or FaceTime calls, I will get my ass chewed out while she still on the phone. Yet then again, she is living under her mothers house without contributing to any type of bills whatsoever. I just feel like it's a give and take.

[@azzzie8908]

Her rules her house It just the way it is

[@eniyemission474]

In Africa, some of us still got whooped at 25. They ain't messing with you. In fact, at 32 u can still get a back hand

[@john10jf]

@@eniyemission474 that wouldn’t work for an American lol. Even when I do move out. The relationship with my parents will be terrible. What is a beating at 25-32 gona solve. At that age I’m physically at my peak to combat my dad and that all it’s gona be lol. Living with my parents, I’ll never disrespect the HOUSE/HOME. My mother tried the controlling thing and barely have a relationship with her now because she never respected it. The question is do you want to be an authority figure so bad and jeopardize the relationship between you two.

[@jasonoludemi2726]

Nothing tricky at all. Listen to the clip again. Poor girl. How dare her mum ask her about her school work! We’ve all been there. I cringe when I remember my tantrums over a delayed monthly allowance from my parents when I was in college.

[@thatgirl12able]

First time I’m saying this.....bad answer Steve :( she has a voice, shes 22. Her mom needs to back off a little bit, give her space and allow her to be the woman she is. It’s not always about who pays the bills.

[@JuanitaMichelle]

Girl take it from somebody whole left home at 29, and had a mom like yours. (I even paid bills every month). You will never have what you want until you leave her house. So just deal wid it till you can leave. Lol I feel for u though.

[@Mike-lj2mw]

I can see how she could be upset because my mom is the same way and I’m in college too. Getting a job goes a long way! You get a job and pay SOME sort of rent, buy your own lil groceries and a water case, and save for a sturdy reliable car... she can’t say a damn thing to you because at that point YOU’RE A TENANT.

[@AlmightyGlobeGangYoungGlobe]

Mike Breeden eh

[@latinadavis3691]

Eh not true cause my mom I'd controlling. I am actually saving up so I can move out

[@sleepy-peepy]

Y’all can talk about “contributing” all you want, but this kind of behavior drives kids away. If she’s 22 she has her own life and her own business, whether or not she pays the light bill. When she finally moves out her mom isn’t gonna have any idea what’s going on in her life, because she’ll be so happy to have her out of her face 24/7.

[@matthewcooper4248]

Excess Sleeper Did you ever consider that's the point? For all we know this is the only way to get the daughter to move out, and maybe the mom WANTS her out for good. Plus, it's clear you have no idea what contributing to a household means.

[@sleepy-peepy]

@@matthewcooper4248 I'm just using what appears to be Steve's definition of "contributing" as an example, he asked her "Do you even know what the light bill looks like?" And if she wants her daughter out she could just make her start paying rent and utilities or you know, kick her out. Tell her she can't stay anymore. Why concoct some goofy ass long game plan where she just gets in her business all the time? It sounds to me like she just wants to be involved in her daughter's life and is making her want to do the opposite.

[@ceded6543]

A certain level of privacy is needed at some point.

[@ShylieKay]

Been in her position, only much later in life due to a medical event. I appreciate my mom and did every minute I lived there. The problem, though, is living with someone who is in your business. There is still a right to privacy even in someone else's home. Where am I going? Her favorite question as well, none of your dang business!

[@shayafendez7702]

there is something called narcissistic mothers. dont know she might have one.. maybe..if so, then this would have hurt her so much

[@peterjrcoolidge]

Exactly fam

[@ChasityAdaway]

Exactly!

[@ServantStatusMinistries]

Wow why does everything have to be about money? Parents like this if you paid them they will still use the ‘you are under my roof’ line to be disrespectful. Parents like this still try to control your life when you have your own place, pay your own bills, and have your own car. Steve compared a situation where a brat asked for something she doesn’t need to someone asking for respect of her boundaries. Proves people don’t listen. It’s called manipulation and control not about “raising kids the old fashioned way” which btw created a lot of damaged people. I bet her mom is single because she doesn’t mention her father. Father’s have to remind mothers to let a child go a little and stop trying to treat them like a baby or they will never grow. They will not know how to make their own decisions in the world because moms are always over them. Otherwise single moms will be controlling and abusive. This form of parenting that Steve agrees with when the child is already in college is not parenting it’s toxic. The girl is an adult and that’s the problem now that I had to overcome. When you raise a child to never respect their boundaries or privacy guess what they will tolerate in adult life because it’s become normalized? Men and friends that will treat them the same way and they won’t understand why. It also encourages a child to not speak up for themselves and be treated any kind of way. Telling your mom where you are going...that’s fine. Her sitting up in your personal calls and FaceTime that’s crazy! That’s overboard. She ain’t 12 or even 16 Steve. And y’all wonder why single young women end up settling for the wrong type of guys and living with them or leaving home and not coming back....it’s because they couldn’t keep their sanity in their home while trying to save up money and stay in school. Respect is not a form of money it is an act of love. I bet it would be different if a woman said a list of requirements to warrant respect from her when you Steve ask her for respect. You would be insulted that you have to do something just to be respected. This mentality needs to die! No different than being a slavemaster saying that they feed their slave and give them a little shack and a job so they have no reason to complain about how they are being treated. Same messed up mentality.

[@vaeyanna9561]

I 1000% disagree. So because she doesn't pay bills or pay a mortgage she can't be on the phone in peace? I don't understand why parents think that because they pay a mortgage that they have the right to be so controlling and unnecessarily overbearing. Certain things are just concern as a parent, I get that. However, she's in college and she's still an adult, but because she can't find the light bill she shouldn't be able to enjoy some time and space to herself?? That's stupid. That's exactly how to drive your son/daughter away and create resentment. Period.

[@sponge7464]

the mom bought the house period...the mom is the MASTER she does whatever she wants She an adult she must leave the nest...and make her own...simple its being fair... i wont allow someone to use MY things(i bought from nothing but sweat) as they like cuz its basically giving them a free stuff

[@SometimesAbel]

Vaeyanna Lettman I agree that the phone thing is too much, too overbearing. But unfortunately, when you’re on someone else’s turf and terms, you complain in silence.

[@jemmaleda2426]

I'm a college student paying my bills and I'm 20. When I go home on breaks, my mom treats me the same way if I stay longer than a week.

[@asho345]

I don't get these made up rules black households have. If a young person isn't able to feel independent while still having the safety net of their parents, it will only be harder later on. It like high schoolers who have everything planned out for them and have to raise their hands to go to the bathroom, then all of a sudden they have to figure out their entire lives on their own. It's ridiculous and counterproductive.

[@kayrawlins7719]

Ash O makes sense !

[@1grandadventure37]

Black households... Naw every race. I have had Indians ,White, and Asians. All obey their parents until they pay their own way.

[@bigq1977]

This has absolutely nothing to with black households. It's every race all across the board. It all comes down to making choices and having a job that helps you do your thing in life.

[@kimkeller2983]

It's called: LEARNING RESPONSIBILITY and it's not just in black households. If you don't teach a child how to stand and be able to fend for for themselves they'll always be looking for someone to take care of them, not to say that a parent won't be there to help but you have to be able to do things on your own...that's all a parent is trying to teach a child how to be INDEPENDENT😉😁

[@SDBROOKS08]

You look like a mix breed and prob grew up with white rules where you can cuss your mom out and act up grocery stores and call your own shots at 5 years old.

[@coryw31]

When I was 15, I got told "the day you act like a man in this house is the day you can go find your own house to be a man in." I was out by 16 after a misunderstanding. Now that I have my own kids, I agree with Steve. If I'm paying your bills, you're eating my food, using my utilities, sleeping under my roof, and not giving me money, you follow my rules.

[@Michelle-pn9xt]

Your own kids?? What about a job and a home???

[@justtimm1255]

I think that is a dated perspective. I once rule with the same iron fist. However I have come to realize you have to give them a little freedom to be an adult; because someone who think their freedom is being suppress will rebel no matter how long it might take. Some might wait to they're on there own, but they may not respect you, or even resent you; because you didn't respect them; and treated them like a child by invading their privacy just because it was your house; and you pay the bills etc..

[@Michelle-pn9xt]

It is not dated. There must be a lot of people here who never intend to work. Do you know that food is not free. Adults pay bills. Independent people know how to take care of them selves. Do you have a job. Are you looking for one?

[@freddysanchez6500]

Gotta give your kids room to grow and make they own choices Can’t hold their hands forever 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@sarahmoravian2093]

she looks so nervous man. he right, but she asked!! LMBO

[@zhe2en171]

Her mom asks where she’s going, whether she’d done her homework and will try to jump in on FaceTime calls. Is this how you treat a college senior? A young woman who can vote? I’m sorry, but this level of parenting is more appropriate so a 10 year old. And violating her daughter’s FaceTime privacy is a violation of her privacy. If it were her husband who drops in on her FaceTime calls instead of her mom, would that be ok? Clearly not! Yet, by accepting this from her mom, she’ll probably be ok with dating men who get jealous and want to know where she is, who she’s with and ask to see her phone history. Because she’s used to being treated like a child!

[@victoronyeka2750]

Mr. Steve, you're so funny, but you got the right and perfect answer for most of the 'hey steve' sessions. Good job to you, sir.

[@Lc-gm1og]

If she tells the mother she's moving out to live with a guy the mother would change immediately.

[@user-zx5xw4yw2e]

Be happy you have a mother that cares. Its a blessing.☺💚❤

[@yumiko0017]

Yes it’s good to have a mother who cares but going overboard is too much. It affects the relationship. I’m going through it.

[@chinwezenwankwo5599]

Why's she so quiet? 😂 Folks, that's the silence of a dependent! 😂😂😂😂

[@hiphopson]

I don't agree with Steve on this one. She's still an adult it's not like she's 18 in high school.

[@ianmci]

Yup

[@tcalvin4196]

Look here baby it's call "If you don't like the way your Momma is steering HER ship, you can always get off and get your own".

[@DinoAyrtonJansen]

T Calvin yea and guess what happens in 10 years momma is stuck wondering why baby doesn’t want anything to do with her no more. Children come through you not for you. How can this girl become independent if momma desperately is trying to hold on? Unless she cuts her off and then what happens. Read my comment again

[@tcalvin4196]

@@DinoAyrtonJansen at 72 years old do you really think I am going to loose sleep over these SUPPOSE to be GROWN folks who want to do what they want to do in their PARENTS HOME. Did you not hear what Steve said. I suggest YOU my dear LISTEN to what he told her about how it works in her PARENTS HOME. And as I said before, if you don't like MOMMA'S house rules put your BIG GIRL and BIG BOY boots on and get your own place. And believe me, her Momma ain't hardly loosing no sleep over whether she doesn't speak to her ever again, because believe me she's going to need her Momma before her Momma needs her. Also, do me a favor my dear and find another tree to bark up. You are not ready for this SEASONED MOMMA

[@DinoAyrtonJansen]

T Calvin I know someone that has the same vibe you give off with your comment. I don’t know how to have a healthy argument with people like that. So no I’ll won’t bark up that tree, agree to disagree, I’m out. Have a nice day ma’m

[@nhatanhle]

I think the fact that she doesn’t contribute economically to her mom’s house or car etc doesn’t have nothing to do with the fact that she deserve to be treated well, as a human being, every human being has the right to feel himself free and not being controlled. Controlling is a misbehavior caused by insecurity.

[@marymesk577]

now her mother has steve's response over her head too.

[@matthewcooper4248]

Hell I'm 21 and I already figured this out. You wanna be independent? Move out. Now I live with my parents, but when they need it I help with groceries, car payment, bills, gas, everything. Hence, they give me a LOT more freedom than I should have if I'm under their roof.

[@mimikamikun]

Steve didn't really have answer to her que, I saw d pains in her coz I'm 22 this Oct and my mom never treat me like that, parent need to chill most expecially when that have a calm and focusing child like this. She's so calm n beautiful until mom pissed her off smh

[@objetsdart3141]

"You want new rims on a truck that ain't even a year old, but you don't have new rim money." Tell 'em Steve, You tell them!!! 💕💕💕💕💕👍👍👍

[@gigachad7561]

Amen, Steve. Speaking straight facts.

[@thenight.9220]

Can’t stop loving this cute baby girl with her moral conduct. Kudos to her parent.

[@eltonnyakatsare7689]

How does he answer every question so perfectly like he is always prepared

[@KristijanRisteski-zp7bx]

Script and sometimes editing

[@markhardiman1179]

Why do these young uns feel they're independent just cause they're 22 ,but still dependant on their parents?🤔 I understand everybody needs some privacy.Even dependant children.

[@yumiko0017]

Okkk I see what Steve is saying. I also agree with the other comments, the current economic situation and jobs not paying what you’re worth is an issue. I currently live with my parents but I also pay towards the mortgage as well. So disrespecting my privacy is a no no. I contribute financially, pay my own car, insurance, do yard maintenance etc. So yes, you need to respect my privacy. Once I get a career making more money I’m out. I can’t wait to leave. Disrespecting someone’s privacy is a huge violation. Her mom getting in on her FaceTime conversations that is rude.

[@AzlianaLyana]

Buuurrnnn!!!! Children, take note!

[@LinnaXO_]

Black parents do too much. And most of the time some stuff is petty just to do something . Let us live or we’ll leave and never come back to visit. Now I’m not being a brat cause half my family had to talk yo them about letting us go sometimes.

[@d.joseph98]

Linna XO no I disagree. If you let them live, they will never leave. My parents let us live......my older sister is 29, almost 30, and she is still living at home with us. She is not trying to look for her own place.

[@d.joseph98]

Nattie bubbles yes. They are now telling her “so, when you going to get your own place?” I’m thinking to myself that maybe if you had told her that 10 years ago lol

[@olakunleolafisoye8433]

If you feel black parents do too much, have u checked the statistics of black people in jail just because we feel our parents are controlling ? The issue I have with most young people is that we feel we know it all and refuse to be guided . A lot of our young people are single parents today largely because we feel we are adults and no longer need guidance... anyway let me shut up .what do I even know?

[@loveyb3347]

@@olakunleolafisoye8433 most ppl are in jail do to the environment n poverty. She isn't the case so save it.

[@sheenap214]

😂 🤣 😂 ‘Why is she so silent???’ ROLLING!!!!

[@_Bloxcast]

30 years from now: why are you putting me in a nursing home? Why don’t you ever call?

[@djuanlewis4210]

Alot more kids need to here this one

[@gilbertbecerra3107]

This girl is about to be INDEPENDENT once she graduates. That mom ain’t gonna hear from her once she’s gone 😂

[@bgsonsthriving.]

People in hell want ice water🤣🤣🤣

[@Zinqzz]

When you go and don’t get the answer you wanted 😂

[@nckhed]

I understand the "my house, my rules" stance, but personal privacy still needs to be respected. Hopping in on phone calls is just plain overbearing and meddling in someone's privacy. It's also extremely annoying.

[@akhandswamiseva]

Work is the new concept or you need rich boyfriend like me ...

[@kimberlyjones9998]

“People in hell want ice water” my mama has said that to my countless times...I think every black child has heard this from someone in they family 😂

[@VARJAGAMINGENTERTAINMENT]

Well not really In Asian families has it told that too.

[@DonnieKatona]

Preach Steve, PREACH!!!! 💪🏿👏🏿🔥💯❤️🤙🏿🙏🏿!

[@la6136]

It’s not that easy for 20 somethings to go to college and support themselves and pay for student debt because jobs don’t pay enough and the cost of school has gone through the roof. I feel like it’s easy to say oh just be independent and move out. That’s obvious if she had the money she would clearly have done that by now. She needs to learn to set boundaries with her mother.

[@RH-tv9hk]

I wish I could've lived at home while I went to school. My mom was so abusive, there was no way I could stay

[@Popcorn-vg2qh]

I was never like that with my step children. They were boys and I treated them as adults from the time I ment them at age 14 and 16. Long as they stayed in school good grades and completed they got anything they wanted from their dad and I. They had a job here and there but they wanted to focus on college so that's what happen. The 16 yr old is now 25 yrs old going for his bachelor degree in business management and expecting his first child with a sweet young lady who is also a college graduate in photography. And the 14 who is 23 he has mental health issues but he got his ged and working. Point is even tho they were under our roof we was NOTHING like this lady. O Lord and privacy they had they own space and we didn't invade on certain things but they always talked to us about things sooooo...

[@muhammadabdullah5141]

Thank you steve

[@lonestarlonewolf]

It feels like Steve should’ve given more example just to make it more clear. Like “if you move out, paying for your own rent/mortgage, buying your own food, paying for your own bills, paying for the rest of the necessities, then you are independent” lol I know he mentioned some but should be direct like that

[@shanteria85]

Steve wrong on that one she do deserve some type of independence or personal space

[@matthewcooper4248]

shanteria spreadlovenothate humble and bless If she wants independence, she can't be dependent. It's really quite simple. It's something we all learn as kids. You don't contribute in the house, you don't get to make ANY calls.

[@lorrainebanath-yasharahla9561]

shanteria spreadlovenothate humble and bless: We all need that personal space and privacy once we reach a certain age.

[@captkill3304]

Not if she's living in her mom's house for free at 22

[@sarahhatcher7283]

Unless you have a narcissistic mother ! 🙄

[@anitasebastian4847]

Great advice Uncle Stevd

[@blacksepikseye7300]

Man I can't stand this type of thinking people don't get how bad controlling parents can effect your mental health