High achievers don't give the best advice

[@SophsNotes]

… or do, but don’t expect it to be better than anyone else’s (sorry this couldn’t fit in my snappy title x) Go to www.curiositystream.com/sophsnotes to get access to CS and Nebula (feat. the magic of science charades) for less that $15 for a year! If you play along here: nebula.app/videos/sophs-notes-science-charades-with-soph-and-cl let me know how it goes (warning - turns out I was quite rusty lol)

[@tajhamarleau6700]

The best advice I've gotten in a long time is "Recognize that anxiety is often not about the thing you think it's about. It's often a fear of not being able to *cope* with that thing." It reframed so many things for me.

[@SophsNotes]

Great one, I have a little note on my phone with bits of advice and think I'll add this

[@exiletsj2570]

Maybe you can cope with it, you just think you can’t.

[@Hdtjdjbszh]

I don't think I get that, but it seems like it should be good advice for me because I get anxious. Could someone break it down, the bit I am not understanding is the difference between the "thing" and coping with the thing

[@hegelsmonster5521]

@@Hdtjdjbszh f.i. suppose you have anxiety about social interactions. Maybe you think that you're anxious about social interactions. That for example small talk is the thing that worries you. But how can small talk be dangerous? No one gonna eat you with small talk. Maybe the truth lies in the fact in this case that you don't know what you do when you do a small talk and this is something scary for you. You don't have fear about small talks but fear of not being able to cope with small talk.

[@tajhamarleau6700]

@@Hdtjdjbszh For example, I tend to not go out because crowds make me anxious. But if I dig down, it's not the crowd itself that makes me anxious, it's not being able to move freely (aka coping with the crowd), which is something I can make a plan to handle (for example, stay on the edge of the crowd)

[@Hdtjdjbszh]

As a teacher I totally get the "being good at something doesn't make you a good teacher" I am a maths teacher. I only got a C in maths first time around in GCSE and having to reteach myself for college really helps me today!

[@KooblayKhan]

"the best advice is from people who have honed their skill at delivering it" That's a lovely concept!

[@lysaali50]

STORYTELLING!

[@disorganizedorg]

My theory: "high achievers" give more advice simply because they're used to being asked for advice in other contexts.

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

Yeah, that makes sense to me. Like, they're more prepared, they have the whole speech lined up.

[@anonomas3530]

Being angry at someone is like drinking Poison and expecting the other to person to die. That sentence helps calm my chimp every now and again, best advice ever.

[@CaptainMarvelsSon]

I don't remember where this saying came from, "Less intelligent people think that they are smarter than they actually are. More intelligent people think that others are smarter than they actually are."

[@davidjennings2179]

Think often we try to tell ourselves we aren't on the lucky side of an unbalanced world. Advice is our way of trying to tell other people (and ourselves) that we earned what we have. Perhaps not to feel guilty? I'm not sure. I work in a tech role simply because it makes more sense to my brain - that's the easy path and delusions aside I chose it because it was easy. My partner works for a charity trying to get people into jobs from disadvantaged positions. They work way harder than me and carry much more of that after work hours than I ever will. Not to mention all the situations they see at work where one bad start can be the beginning of a spiral. Point is, the material things we've got that may make someone peg us as high achieving are down to me being "lucky" that my brain is better suited to write some code and solve some problems than help people better their lives. Society just values those things more. If I didn't have a daily reminder that someone I know is at least as smart as me is working 10 times harder and being paid half as much for their trouble...maybe I'd think I had great advice to give too. (Sorry, bit of a ramble)

[@theprofessionalfence-sitter]

I'd be curious to know whether/how the skill of the person receiving the advice factures in, here. E.g. is it, perhaps, the case that the advice of the high performers is actually better for others who also perform relatively well and the average usefulness is just brought down by it not being of much help to beginners, or is the advice equally useful/useless for everyone?

[@deskseven]

my (un)solicited advice: how do you make a bitter hot chocolate that smells like tomatoes? the answer is below. 1/2 cup light milk 4 tbsp cocoa powder 2 tsp sugar 1 tbsp molasses heat on a stovetop at high heat, stir constantly until boiling point once boiled, transfer to mug and add another 1/4 cup light milk. refrigerate for 10 minutes.

[@shakhtardfc1]

Football is a great example of this. Some of the best players (Like Maradona) have made terrible managers. Whereas people like Klopp (who didn't do a whole lot during playing) has become a great manager.

[@IcyMidnight]

"Smoothly segews" can't tell if trolling us or mostly only read the word 😝

[@SophsNotes]

I'll keep that one a mystery 😉

[@MasterWilliam770]

criminally undersubbed

[@protocol6]

The question of why high achievers give more advice reminds me of the hypothesis that consciousness is just a rationalization engine observing your own beavior. The classic example being a person that has had the two halves of their brain disconnected surgically being given instructions in a way that only one half of the brain is aware of them and then asking the other half to explain why they did what was in the instructions. They just make up some plausible excuse for what happened and seem to believe it. Perhaps the more successful you are, the more you feel the need to rationalize (and justify) that abberant, inexplicable success.

[@SophsNotes]

'consciousness is just a rationalization engine observing your own behavior' and now I'm going to be thinking about that all day

[@6WaysFromNextWed]

The Majora's Mask format tho

[@poozlius]

So my take-away from this is...wash your hands before eating dessert!

[@SophsNotes]

a top tip I'm sure we can all get behind

[@SophsNotes]

an hour later, I remember where Lady Luck has been, and again repeat: a top tip I'm sure we can all get behind

[@artyfarty87]

Always check the cubicle for toilet paper before you sit down. 🤪👍

[@SophsNotes]

YES excellent advice

[@Jonas_Meyer]

13:32 Lol absolutely

[@corro202]

Awesome video.

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

But the statement "Don't go to high achievers for advice" is itself advice, and it seems to be coming from a high achiever. So I don't know what to believe.

[@theaBogdan]

Hey!

[@therecognitionscene3771]

Another great video, Soph! Loved the Majora's Mask references, and I really love the way you've done your hair! I'm so jealous!!

[@dasin6]

i just look at actors and actresses about this idea that high achiever might know a thing or two more, but growing up i realized they were just people who did their job better, like showing up being present and not being a nuisance, thus i concluded that they were good at not being fired from their job. so the only good advice is "try, try again and dont be a arse" cus no one is a high achiever in all things just the things they chose to do, which means there is alot of things they dont know

[@lysaali50]

is Google a high achieving search engine? also Bing?

[@guest_informant]

3:16 There's a confounder: the point is not to give/receive "advice" it's to communicate about the game. The control is labelled no "advice". It should perhaps be properly considered as no *discussion* . Presumably you can improve by rejecting bad advice, for instance. So it is beneficial to talk to people who are bad at a game. It may well be beneficial to talk to people who are average at the game, just because you are talking about the game. You are organising your thoughts regardless of who you are talking or listening to.

[@SophsNotes]

This is an interesting point! I suppose as they were given pre-written pieces of advice from the previous players, it partly relies on the receiver of that info being able to separate a good suggestion from a bad one. Hadn't considered this though, so thanks for pointing it out!

[@blakekhalaf8381]

Super interesting video as always!

[@stuartp2006]

Ah, asking hot people how to get more dates.

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

Step 1: be attractive

[@stolenshortsword]

so did the huge angry mob of melinda gates stans eventually come knocking at your door soph or did they just jump the fence altogether...?

[@J1mjam2112]

I tried to use the nebula link but it’s still showing up at $30 a year not 14 :(

[@SophsNotes]

If you sign up via the CuriosityStream link in my description/top comment then you'll get an email with Nebula access! ☺️

[@J1mjam2112]

@@SophsNotes ahh okay! Thanks! I must have clicked the wrong link. Have signed up through curiosity stream but not had the nebula email. It’s been a few hours.

[@angustin6590]

Nice

[@I.____.....__...__]

"Those who cannot do, teach."

[@williandalsoto806]

This is a great video.

[@SophsNotes]

Thanks Willian! ☺️

[@psyclotronxx3083]

Sophia is the most adorable and attractive woman. Great personality, funny, self deprecating and beautiful. I wish I was twenty years younger and lived in England! 🥰