Medieval Combat: A Knight's Vicious Firsthand Account Against The Saracens In 1250

[@nuclearlefthook5008]

"we shall speak of this yet in ladies chambers" in the end, warriors have always been lads of banter.

[@Cesly-mo3uf]

By God's bonnet!

[@mariusloveless7880]

Warriors have always just been lads

[@WaylonJonesO]

Just guys being dudes

[@LifeLikeSage]

"I was only wounded in five places by darts." The level of manliness in this quote is beyond belief.

[@colbyboucher6391]

I mean, not to discount how wild that is, but these people were wearing mail so the wounds they're talking about would've been an inch deep or even less most of the time. That's why they were able to keep going with a bunch of arrows sticking out of them.

[@sterlingcampbell2116]

​@@colbyboucher6391yeah, in a time when a small cut could get infected and kill you

[@colbyboucher6391]

@@sterlingcampbell2116 We're talking about their ability to continue fighting, it's not like they're gonna be struck by gangrene within the next few hours

[@IgorPrototype90]

While spitting the blood from his mouth he often said "HA! By God's head, have you ever seen such riff-raff?" What an utter mad man :D he gave zero concerns

[@owenmatthewaurelio]

He doth giveth zero fucks.

[@Soulslayer612]

"And verily I say unto you, no fucks were given this day, and they were glad of it."

[@williamalvarez9563]

That's just how badasses roll.

[@saamkapadia]

Son of the XII legion he gaveth null droppings!

[@heretyk_1337]

"I was only wounded in 5 places..." "Let these curs howl!" All we need one of them "quoting" the Good Book: "And thus sayeth the Lord: Ya fucking one one?!"

[@derrickpeterson3400]

"You and I shall talk of this day yet. In lady's Chambers" I got to remember that one.

[@donq2957]

He wrote this when he got back to ladies chamber and dressed in her underwear. Fuck you little crusader pussies.

[@MIck-M]

@@donq2957 So you are triggered and panicked by an 800 year old battle? Moron lol.

[@katrinegadegaard1241]

​@@donq2957 You must either be a saracen or an ultra liberal with a fetish for betraying your own people. I'm guessing the latter, since even the saracens admired the crusaders bravery on many occasions, despite their rivalry.

[@donq2957]

@@MIck-M Not as triggered as you are by me.

[@gerwulfthered154]

@@donq2957 Shit fuck

[@MrHanderson91]

Its amazing. These people were taking wounds that sound dreadful, but were barely phased. To hear a guy spit blood and insult his enemies...total badass.

[@brotherknight9484]

If you were in that situation I'm sure you could do the same. Keep in mind these soldiers were wearing the best gear of the time and the only spot that was vulnerable was probably the face. You can't cut through mail easily. Also the culture largely dictated how they fought. Medieval society was actually quite warfare oriented and people would gladly accept the opportunity to go pummel some enemies and get a few scratches. They did not see death the same way we do today and you could even say they loved war. Movies exaggerate what war was like then because of our new found hatred for war after WW1 and 2. No it wasn't all rape and pillaging that's a bunch of crap. The crusades though are different and plenty of horrific things were done on both sides. Should note that the Christian's were more "merciful" with their captives. Mostly choosing to just kill them rather than torture or send them into slavery. Not trying to shit on Islam but they weren't as nice and often they would kill the men and send the women into slavery (I'm pretty sure I don't need to tell you why) Another point to make is that you never really know until your put into a situation like that. The adrenaline was pumping so much they probably barely felt the wounds... They're going to feel it afterwards though and some of them might not make it.

[@chucknorris202]

You do not feel wounds in combat, even dreadful wounds. Not that Ive ever had my nose cut off mind you lol. But Ive fought with a bloody mouth(dripping with blood literally) many a time, and bloody nose, it doesnt phase you as I said. I train Muay thai and we spar every single class and though wounds like those are rare for me considering my experience, they still occasionally happen and are a risk of the sport. And also in street fights too of course. But it does start hurting AFTERWARDS lol, when the adrenaline dies down when the fights done with, esp if you are badly hurt...like that guy that had his nose cut off.

[@MrHanderson91]

@Crimson yeah I do understand that they were raised to be warriors. Doesnt make it less impressive.

[@TheSunderingSea]

@@MrHanderson91 Also keep in mind all of these people, maybe not in their day to day but in their mentality were totally convinced Roman Catholic Christians, if they died so what? They would receive their judgement before God, and that was that. All this life is, is a preparation round for the next after all.

[@yourneighbor2567]

It was a different time where every man could make a name for himself through honor and conquest. Now we play video games.

[@pikethree]

I read of a German knight, built like a tank, enjoyed fighting so much that when blinded by fire, he recovered and made arrangements that his men use him at the sharp end of a V formation into castles etc. They guided him into the hottest bits of battle holding onto his armour and he just swung his hammer like crazy. Once he was pierced through his gorget into his throat by a bodkin, merely snapping it off so he could continue swinging that hammer. Lived a long life.

[@vanquisher1208]

Ah, John the Blind of Bohemia. An absolute madlad. According to the Cronica ecclesiae Pragensis Benesii Krabice de Weitmile, when told by his aides that the battle against the English at Crécy was lost and he better should flee to save his own life, John the Blind replied: "Absit, ut rex Boemie fugeret, sed illuc me ducite, ubi maior strepitus certaminis vigeret, Dominus sit nobiscum, nil timeamus, tantum filium meum diligenter custodite. ("Far be it that the King of Bohemia should run away. Instead, take me to the place where the noise of the battle is the loudest. The Lord will be with us. Nothing to fear. Just take good care of my son."

[@Chorochronchotor]

@@vanquisher1208 Ye, Imagine this badass of a king witnessing our todays leaders Babis and Zeman.... What a shame :(

[@ericstevens2586]

That sounds like ser Gregor Clegane in game of thrones

[@ignaciasd1198]

@Dangerous Joy John the Blind of Bohemia

[@torinjones3221]

Yeah John of Luxembourg. He died at crecy fighting the English because he refused to retreat. His final words were (in Latin) "Far be it that the King of Bohemia should run away. Instead, take me to the place where the noise of the battle is the loudest. The Lord will be with us. Nothing to fear. Just take good care of my son."

[@brandonmacey964]

“We shall talk of this day yet, you and I, in ladies’ chambers!” - The Good Count of Soissons.. Legend

[@lordracula2461]

"God's bonnet" is an innuendo meaning "god's dickhead"

[@curtise.gill67]

Bro's have always been bro's. Lolol time means nothing.

[@richardfreeman724]

The ladies chamber is literally a "normal" house inside a castle , not the room of a woman or a whorehouse: en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solar_(room), so this could be read as, "we'll talk about this when we gather in peace. "

[@ardilloardilloso3382]

@@richardfreeman724 and still, we all know what he meant.

[@shem7146]

@@richardfreeman724 Eh

[@AlienSquidMonster]

I like how he really talks up the deeds of his bro's, whether threw moments of courage/decisiveness or funny things they said in the heat of battle. There's something very human about that. Like the language is old, but thats still exactly how guys talk after they all take part in something intense like this.

[@aljosap8445]

Yeah the only actual flex about himself is how he smashed that lance into the guys armpit other than that he is more or less talking about his bros doing all the work. I also like how he never says anything bad about enemy, compliment them even on having a "very fine passage of arms" with them. This guy must have been some very cool guy.

[@Coryiodine]

@@aljosap8445 I think people in general were cooler back then. Back in those times if you were too poor to afford any fines itd be excused and people were more realistic, reasonable and intelligent. Theres stories of people finding lost items of other soldiers back then and spending a long time tracking down who it belonged to to give it back to them. People are too narcissistic among many other things now. If anyone wrote about being in a war now itd just be "I did this" "I did that" and alot of it would probably be embellished.

[@aljosap8445]

@@Coryiodine yeah well people were much more connected back then and probably werent competing all the time. Dude really made this battle a group effort he didnt make it anything about himself. He even admits how he got fucked up by dozen of bolts haha.

[@mattbritzius570]

The Count of Soisson sounds like a proper rascal.

[@slugakristov8343]

Ahahaahahahahaahaha

[@kevinpeterwareham8131]

a rapscallion even!

[@Tempusverum]

Ser Bronn

[@mikek5322]

There's a reason we were all exist haha

[@pyrrhusofepirus8491]

It’s so strangely bizarre and crazy actually hearing a first hand account of something like this. Actually hearing of the wounds they’ve taken, yet fought on un-phased nonetheless, even making quips and jokes during battle, is not only badass and shows how tough these people were, but also really helps to humanise these people who I feel are so often dehumanised.

[@redjupiter2236]

If my nose was cut off and I still had to fight on, I might be joking too

[@eggisfun4217]

Adrenaline basically removes the pain temporarily however you do feel the pain when it wears off

[@rhetoric5173]

Strange for a European perhaps. So ignorant they call Arabs sons of sara (SARAcen). Arabic accounts similar has been around for 490 years. Abs entire biography was written off the Crusaders called the diary of a Syrian gentleman, he was an off Saladin and the amount is far more educated unlike this one.

[@pyrrhusofepirus8491]

@@rhetoric5173 What’s your point, I literally got nothing from that.

[@rhetoric5173]

It appears thou art of equal wit to the one cited in the video, or rather lack of @@pyrrhusofepirus8491

[@WillyShakes]

"His nose hung over his lip" - Oof

[@jamesc8709]

Fr

[@jamesc8709]

Ow

[@ciuyr2510]

took me a bit to imagine this

[@lteagle101]

F

[@krem4393]

Tis but a scratch

[@kenroymusgrave983]

At the age of 93!!! He lived really long for someone in the middle ages, that's cool.

[@thanuv4064]

Sir, he lived really long, for anyone, in any ages.

[@six2make4]

The common misconseption is that the AVERAGE age is how people lived, nobody lived past 30, yeah 93 is still old, but the reason the average age is so long is because many more children died in childbirth, due to sickness and war/general violence. You remove these factors, people didn't die that early, hell, the medieval diet weren't even that bad considering what you need. In many cases nobles had the worse diets since they ate more crap than peasants, simply due to being able to afford it.

[@kenroymusgrave983]

@@six2make4Thanks for clearing it up for me, I appreciate it.

[@six2make4]

@@kenroymusgrave983 No worries, it's a very common misconception

[@EIfric]

Most people lived to their 70s-80s. Short medieval lives is a modernist myth

[@darkranger116]

wow this guy basically said "and it was a good fight between our forces, not a single coward with bow or crossbow in sight". Even thousands of years later, on a medieval hack and slash video game like Mordhau, and we're still saying the same thing. What a wild world.

[@ClayRuffner]

🤣

[@crusoevanfloyd9888]

@Vean Studio that was beautiful, the battle was indeed hard fought 😭

[@chikenxlegend1833]

@Vean Studio XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

[@centurionpetrus1784]

I noticed it too, people say the same on Mordhau and also on Bannerlord :D

[@joerivandeweyer3056]

That's why Gimli is better than Legolas too or are we not ready for this

[@NikovK]

Wounded in five places, lanced in the back, and medieval medicine to treat it. Yet he lives to be 93? Do you ever think we over-exaggerate how bad wound care was in those days?

[@visionist7]

The disease didn't dare try to take him

[@ungeimpfterrusslandtroll7155]

@holzy0815 He was talking about when he was held down by a lance in the back and had to draw his second sword.

[@ILoveDawko]

I think the description was that a lance held him down on his horse, braced against his armour rather than being lodged in his back

[@giantgrowth4204]

Bro theres people who lived an arrow to the head. Lmao one king lived they dug his body up because people thought he exaggerated. Ole boys skull was damaged from a bolt

[@formdoggie5]

...not really. Most people died from small scratches and the subsequent infections as antibiotics didnt exist, nor soap (at least in its actually effective state). You're looking at one old guy, who is clearly a tough son of a bitch, but then ignoring the 10,000 regular people that died around him from far less.

[@afoose]

8:10 when you can only trust your boys and your thick-set stallion

[@handsomesquidward5160]

Meg the thick set stallion

[@six2make4]

I like the fact with 5 arrows in him and 15 in his horse, watching his friend or at least brother-in-arms get his nose cut off and so on goes: Yeah, this is pretty cool, I mean, we all stuck to the rules of no bows and crossbows after all in that other battle.

[@macrebs4484]

six2make4 I mean, you didn’t even have to be mortally wounded to die from your wounds. A single cut could become infected and that’d be the end of you lol

[@arminiuschieftainofthecher2780]

MacRebs Infections can be treated, Medieval people weren’t morons; they understood that a cut could be infected and needed to be well cared for. The fact that he treats the cuts that he received as minor proves that they weren’t actually as serious as many people believe. I don’t know where this victorianistic viewpoint spawned but it lacks nuance and legitimacy.

[@macrebs4484]

Arminius Chieftain of the Cherusci First off, you’re missing the point. I was exxagerating. It was a joke. Second, you’re still dead wrong. They might prevent infection by taking proper care of it, but they couldn’t treat it without antibiotics. But preventing that might be a lot harder that you’d think when you’re stuck on a battlefield. Dust and dirt will come into the wound and will remain in it for god knows how long. “The fact that he treats the cuts he reveived as minor proves that they weren’t actually as serious as many people believe.” No, what it proves is that at the moment he had something else to worry about. Like a billion enemies running around wanting to kill him.

[@arminiuschieftainofthecher2780]

MacRebs Few things; 1. I don’t think that you understand Medieval medical practice, yes it is obvious they did not have antibiotics hence why the emphasis was on preventing wounds from being infected in the first place 2. Even if you are joking, you are still wrong, in this case the misinformation displayed is still incorrect 3. Small wounds rarely of ever get infections of the mortal variety 4. It does indeed prove that he considered it minor because he says that five cuts was minor, and lucky even. If as you said the smallest cuts could be infected and “that’d be the end of you-“ then we would have rushed to medical aid post-battle as it was known that infections if untreated were likely mortal; additionally why would he opt to regard the cut as minor simply because there are worse things? That makes no sense, if that were the case he could’ve simply stated that given the alternative, five wounds despite its lethality according to you was better than a death to his foes and yet he did not. Rather, he stated that he and his horse were lucky to escape with only five, and doesn’t mention much in the way of concern for the wounds.

[@macrebs4484]

Arminius Chieftain of the Cherusci Your first point is you trying to discredit me by insulting me followed by you repeating what I said. Your second point is completely inaccurate, because it was fairly obvious I was exaggerating and even then it boils down to you saying thay I am wrong. Which you already said before. Your third point is incredibly observant. Small wounds are less likely to get lethally infected that large wounds? Who would’ve guessed? Your last point is you being oblivious to the fact thay mentioned he was lucky to escape with 5 relatively minor wounds because he was being surrounded by enemies that tried to kill him. Why would he think about his wounds getting infected of there is a guy standing in front of you trying to kill you. The keyword here being “priority”. And for the record, I have no doubt in my mind that he would’ve cleaned those minor cuts once he got to safety in order to prevent them from getting infected. Because you know... infections spreads! So all in all, you wrote a lot but in the end you didn’t say anything.

[@lastword8783]

The people they were fighting were the Mamluks. They were originally a class of elite slave soldiers that were trained from childhood for war. Shortly after this battle, they would go on to take over Egypt and establish their own Mamluk State. They would go on to stop a Mongol invasion of Egypt in 1260 in the battle of Ain Jalut and would go on to conquer the holy land. They would score multiple more victories over the Mongol Ilkhanate among other conquests before being conquered themselves by the Ottomans in the 16th century.

[@fransbuijs808]

They kept ruling Egypt (as part of the Ottoman Empire) and fought Napoleon in 1798. They were wiped out by Egypts rew ruler Mohammed Ali in 1811 and that was the end of Mameluk rule in Egypt.

[@IRAwhiskey]

@@fransbuijs808 correct but this was before he became heavyweight champion of the world

[@jesseritchie9282]

@@IRAwhiskey indeed

[@eingew]

@@IRAwhiskey When he was the heavyweight champion of the world the mamlukes fought for him

[@lastword8783]

@Good Stuff youre only looking at Ain Jalut. They fought several wars against the Mongol Ilkhanate

[@whoisit01]

whenever he said "My Lord ..." I was mentally imagining it like my homie everard, my boy hugh, my bro frederick"

[@jimqueiroz4459]

gotta start calling the boys "my lord" from now on

[@SirWetBiscuit]

Yeah, good luck calling a leader or any highly ranked individuals such names.

[@ef.9095]

as far as i can tell that's what he meant

[@Mailed-Knight]

I'm pretty sure this is a lowly knight and is just being polite to his masters.

[@dankeith6522]

@Phil McCrevice not so, my lord, my boy, terms of title and endearment. Bro, dude, my man. May not be what terms you would use, but correct non the less. Ebonics? My white brother English is a complicated language with many different dialect's. From the proper British Posh, to the Appalachian, even the southern has several different types from Georgia to California. What about the surfer stoner shaggy guy man. Words are that, a way to try and get the universe of thoughts out in a simple to understand way. If we think about it, in just English, how many languages can I speak? How many dialect's? Hindi English to broken Spanglish and in between?

[@BuddyLee23]

Never knew that “riff-raff” was so ancient of a term.

[@romainburgy908]

The guy writing about this was french, so this is probably an english traduction that was made much later

[@Phelan666]

@@romainburgy908 The English language did not exist yet. It is without question that this is a translation.

[@ScotsLyon]

It's from medieval French Rifle et Rafle Which means to strip and spoil referring to the plundering of bodies on the battlefield

[@ungeimpfterrusslandtroll7155]

@@ScotsLyon Yeah but that's a translation into english and definitly not the what it mean's in that context.

[@ScotsLyon]

@@ungeimpfterrusslandtroll7155 that's exactly what it meant in that context and it's not a translation He stated look at all the riff raff meaning look at the amount of spoil we can take after the fight. In regards the translation after the Norman conquest the nobility spoke French for 200 years so the term would have altered as the language changed from French to English. Look at the amount of French words used in English today as a direct result of the Norman conquest

[@Andres9562]

This has been another episode of Great Moments in Bro Code History

[@laylasbabyalive3575]

For the boys

[@NKWittmann]

🤣👍

[@PBRStreetgang911]

"By Gods Bonnet! We shall talk of this day yet, you and i, in ladies chambers"- Well said good Count of Soissons.

[@MattieK09]

Best line

[@sneeringimperialist6667]

The king and his Lords are in the thick of it. Can you imagine if the President and Congress were anywhere near dangerous fighting?

[@dougs7367]

Well, a President without bone spurs.

[@sneeringimperialist6667]

@@dougs7367 from Andromeda?

[@Toyos-yk3ri]

No kidding - with their privilege came greet personal responsibility. Real badasses.

[@formdoggie5]

Actually Trump was known for getting out of his like and chasing muggers down in New York, so him I could doing that, yeah. One of I think the 3 times his driver has mentioned was even in the paper. A few congressmen I could see doing it, particularly those that have been vets, but the majority of them are pussies and would just pay others to do the dirty work.

[@SpicyPablo808]

@@formdoggie5 lol but still draft dodged.

[@athensarfaras1466]

I LOVE this sort of first hand experience into the middle ages, I WANT MORE!!! (please)

[@HistoryUncovered]

First hand accounts like this are very rare. But I'll try to find more. ;)

[@athensarfaras1466]

History Uncovered much appreciated my liege

[@lastword8783]

@@athensarfaras1466 There is Usama Ibn Munqidh who wrote a recounting of his experiences in a variety of battles(pitched line battle, skirmishes, ambushes, palace coups) etc. and discusses his ideas about what makes someone effective in battle. His book was translated to English as "Memoirs of A Syrian-Arab Gentleman".

[@athensarfaras1466]

Last Word interesting; I’ll give it a look. Thank you

[@bravo20vet12]

Yaee,Sisters of Mercy"I Want More"!

[@thorfinthorfin3010]

As a former US Army soldier these Frencemen have my respect. We fire at muzzle flashes many meters away. If things get to hot we pop smoke,bound backwards laying down suppressive fire and call in close air support. Medics were plenty and a field hospital was always available. These poor guys back then.

[@deathguarddavegoogley2022]

Shows the swirling, fast moving and ‘back and forth’ nature of being a knight in this sort of battle. It sounds like there were lots of small unit actions, retreats and rallies going on. The horrific nature of the wounds received and the focus on the ‘important people’ rather than on the battle as a whole and on what was happening to the peasants (who presumably made up well more than half of the army) is very interesting too. Great stuff! Thanks for sharing.

[@daanwiemers7937]

Death Guard Dave Googley normally armies would consist out of a lot of peasants. But seeing as these naval expeditions required lots of ships supplies these armies wouldn’t have peasantry in it. It would mostly consist out of professional troops and nobles

[@Mailed-Knight]

Indeed Jews and Muslims were not too fond of the Jihadists.

[@LawrenceCaldwellAuthor]

@@Mailed-Knight Oxymoron.

[@steirqwe7956]

@@Mailed-Knight There also were christians. Even under muslim reign a good portion of the local peasantry and citizens were ortodox christians.

[@SilverforceX]

Peasants and conscripts are more like 80%+ of the army. Knights were few due to them being land owners.

[@lightweightjive]

“Sire, you’ve five arrows in you.” “Just a flesh wound.”

[@lucaslimal3]

kinda yes. They were knights, they used heavy mail over padded armor. Unless the arrows hit some softspot they would not go deep trough the armor, so it was really some flesh wounds.

[@blekutt]

@1965lo thats not quite a monty python reference thats just the type of wound it would have inflicted, its minor and can be patched easily. but with this information i think that scene is funnier.

[@pudgeboyardee32]

Yes indee... who in gods name taught you to count?! Go and fetch me that sword, would you?

[@truefanforum3273]

"So that's why I'm itchy."

[@akakios7386]

Darts, not arrows, important distinction.

[@GT-wj3gl]

9:45 Is easily my favorite part. That dude was making jokes during all that. What a fucking legend.

[@lastmanstanding5423]

true bro

[@TexasTeaHTX]

We shall talk of this day yet, in the chambers of the onlyfans thots.

[@lewismccombe6231]

In a bloody hand to hand battle to the death, my man actually said " have you ever seen such riff raff?" hahahaha

[@giantgrowth4204]

When leaders fought along with their men

[@brianringstaff9505]

Not all, only the best

[@Bruh-hq1hx]

Because otherwise they couldnt give orders

[@BigDictator5335]

Idriss Deby, the president of Chad, was recently killed while fighting on the frontline against rebels from Libya. Frontline leadership is still a thing.

[@iannordin5250]

@@BigDictator5335 Frontline leadership in the age of long range weaponry and fast, wireless communications is stupid.

[@chomnansaedan4788]

also I think its because mostly they would never be killed unless by accident. because it was more profitable to ransom the leaders than execute. Plus their armor was thicc.

[@hckr_-gh7se]

This channel is of noble and fair quality, sir! I pray thee yet maketh more such videos, bristling with such valor and manly detail!

[@magnuscoles5010]

Man I really wished we recorded history the way western people do, who knows how many heroes and thier great deeds have been forgotten,

[@GrimdarkCrusader20th]

Especially with the Christian defeats at Jerusalem and Hattin I find that most notable battles tend to have a small force fighting tooth and nail to save their own skin and these two have many secondhand accounts but zero first hand as almost anyone fighting under the banner of the Kingdom of Jerusalem was either executed or kept as a political prisoner

[@randomshiatinmylife3477]

Muslims can't write shit

[@stephencrompton4352]

@fat cow You're generalizing too much in that second paragraph. I don't believe for a second that *everybody*, if anybody, in europe during the middle ages was rolling in shit, and I also highly doubt *everybody* in the medieval muslim world had access to these amenities. You should educate yourself on european history more if you think they just spent their lives rolling in shit, like so many people seem to think, because of Hollywood.

[@stephencrompton4352]

@fat cow The whole thing of throwing shit out of windows was a much more modern problem than what you may think. It was caused by industrialisation, and the extremely cramped conditions (tenements) that the factory workers lived in. Not a medieval problem.

[@theoddone887]

@@randomshiatinmylife3477 written language and the modern numerical system came from the middle east you mug

[@premiumbackgroundmusic]

"And they defended themselves right manfully". That just has a cool ring to it, doesn't it?

[@aljosap8445]

Especialy in this context when someone of higher rank talks about his men.

[@MrFarnanonical]

I've listened to this so many times, it's such a vivid account, I wish there were more like this from the first or third crusades.

[@zoesdada8923]

I'm a simple man. I see firsthand account of fighting saracens I click.

[@user-og6hl6lv7p]

I'm a simple man. I see a joke I like, I steal it

[@thenachomancandysavage4074]

Good man

[@TonyTones123]

Deus Vult? Deus Vult.

[@lukemcinerny8220]

@@TonyTones123 Non nobis, Domine, non nobis, sed Nomini tuo da gloriam !

[@tasinal-hassan8268]

War cry of History's greatest losers.

[@juancortes7898]

5:55 "And you must know this was a very fine passage of arms for in this battle no one drew bow or crossbow...."

[@juancortes7898]

Just wow...

[@beepIL]

they fucking hated crossbows, it put armored knights in a situation where even a lowly peasant armed with a crossbow was capable of killing them with very little fighting skill required of him compared to what is required of a knight, it is like training your whole life to be this hand to hand combat master, and some junkie pulls a gun and shoot you in the face, I can get why it was frowned upon by knights...

[@steirqwe7956]

Nah, crossows weren't capable of piercing plate armor, not even heaviest of them. It was proven in numerous tests. Still crossbows could be used by untrained combatant and pope was afraid lords would draft peasantry to wage wars leaving land untreated and taxes unpaid.

[@lewisw3436]

@@steirqwe7956 while its true they wouldn't have been able to pierce nearly all plate armor of decent quality this doesn't mean that they posed no or even little risk to knights armored in such a manner and could be devastating if utilised well

[@leone.6190]

@@steirqwe7956 I have seen a war bow pierce armor. (Not very far, but still.) There were definetly some crossbows that could Strike a leathal blow, if they Hit at the right Spot.

[@Thelightningrodri]

“We shall talk of this day, in lady’s chambers” 🫡 real legends never die

[@MattHanr]

“The blood flowed from his body as from the *bung-hole* of a cask” So Beevis didn’t coin the term bung-hole. That’s why I watch educational content 😏💫

[@nopulpapple991]

@Paddy le Blanc At least not that we know of

[@bigdaddydiesel5520]

@@nopulpapple991 Those journals have yet to be discovered.

[@david9783]

Just the hole the stopper fits in. Bevis ain't nothing new.

[@pudgeboyardee32]

See this is why when a tv show uses barrel making as a go to for boring activities i just laugh all the harder. Do you *know* how many times a docent at a barrel museum says bung hole during the tour? As many times as he can, they really are magical places. We owe barrel makers a great debt. Bung hole. Tap that. Round and brown. All classics thanks to barrels

[@AnotherGlenn]

You dare threaten my bunghole?

[@nohbuddy1]

"Have at thee" "You've got no arms left"

[@nathanm.8823]

Tis but a scratch!

[@Ostarrichi996]

did they say that they hacked his arms off?

[@nathanm.8823]

@@Ostarrichi996 kzbin.info/www/bejne/kJ6sn56ul9ufedU

[@gregtees9995]

I've had worse!

[@3John-Bishop]

Tis but a flesh wound.

[@The_Custos]

Pierced with darts, charging, throwing people about, jesting. Read the Song of Roland for more like this.

[@The_Gallowglass]

People were made of sterner stuff back then.

[@karakas9905]

Gallowglass Not at all. Soldiers are soldiers. Don’t compare them to civillians.

[@The_Gallowglass]

@@karakas9905 Oh come off the pretension.

[@CDSAfghan]

@@The_Gallowglass Have you served?

[@zarlei6048]

@@The_Gallowglass Well he's kinda right, these guys were hardcore for sure but they're elite troops clad in full plate and mail not peasant men at arms.

[@C8Z51Scott]

This was a great video about an actual account of a battle. Incredible. Thanks for creating this video. Tough warriors.

[@commenterofreason3478]

“Only wounded 5 times” ‘‘tis only a scratch!

[@ianpage2509]

@Stable Genius oh stop it!

ian page nigga shut the fuck up I don’t give a fuck nigga

[@mzs114]

Cuz they were heavily armored, if this was some light armor then this would have been fatal.

[@ianpage2509]

Christopher Marlowe i was quoting Monty python.

[@benjamindover2601]

Now you understand how formidable an armoured night could be, combined with adrenaline they were very hard to kill.

[@goblinrat6119]

Especially so in a chaotic combat situation where the foe might not have time to focus on them or finish them off easily. Jean's account paints a picture of a highly chaotic, rowing battlefield, and it's easy to imagine any number of men taking quick shots at the knights, but not having any notable effect. He describes many nasty injuries, but almost all of those were "surface damage", which might have hurt and bled and left scars, but even if your nose is hacked off or five javelin tips (I assume the darts mentioned are basically small javelins of some sort, unless they were something like the Roman plumbata) pierce some amount of flesh, you're not going to go down in the heat of combat. Your bones are intact, your muscles work, your sinews hold, there is enough blood in you to circulate. I imagine seeing that was fairly horrifying for anyone facing them and not used to it, since an unarmored man, or a man in light rudimentary protection, will suffer absolutely mortal wounds from similar violence. And most often that violence is not a spectacle; when a man is struck and goes down, it's very seldom some cinematic affair where he is visibly cut apart. In the midst of a raging battle you'd mostly see someone being struck at, and then them going down. So what most of them would have seen would have been plenty of the "struck at" part, but very little of the "going down" part. Which would be horrible when that someone is also bearing down on you with murderous retribution.

[@maniac3449]

You clearly are forgetting the ones whom they were fighting: they were not the Turks but Mamluks, the Mamluks were trained to be an absolute units from their childhood. The Mamluks were the ones to stop the Mongol advance in West Asia (Battle of Ain Jalut), those dudes fought the best Christian Knights of Europe (captured King Louis of France in 1250) and stopped the unstoppable Mongols. Just look up the Mamluk armor as well.

[@nyanates]

Wow! I was glued to my seat. I think those crusaders were made of some sturdier stuff.

[@wadehwallace]

It's important to keep in mind that medieval knights trained for combat from the time they were kids, and culturally they were expected and required to participate in warfare. Also, warfare was the primary avenue for material and political advancement. So, they had enormous cultural, political, and financial pressure to do this. In general they were tough as nails, but much of the reason for that is the many years of training, cultural expectations, and other incentives. Modern people aren't necessarily weaker than medieval people were, we just aren't required to face the same kinds of obstacles they were. One key element that people miss, is that medieval people lived in functioning, tight-knit communities. Modern Americans don't live in such communities, and are incredibly isolated in comparison. Of course life is easier today for most people, but i just don't think we should fall for narratives that say "men used to be strong and tough, now they're weak and pathetic." The big exception is that the upper class in our society is INFINITELY more coddled than the upper class 1,000 years ago was. Jeff Bezos isn't expected to engage in hand-to-hand combat, after all.

[@Looaxe]

This is such an epic account. This could be a movie. My heart was PUMPING listening to this. I can only imagine what it must have been like.... the bravery of men in those days is incredible.

[@RespectMyAuthoritaah]

Total badassery. Thank you for posting this.

[@120Stevo]

What a command of their language, these knights had! In the midst of blood, their comrades screaming from mortal wounds, and chaos supplied by their enemy, the Lord Everard said: "Lord, if you think that neither I nor my heirs will incur reproach therein, I will go and fetch you help from the Count of Anjou, whom I see in the midst of yonder field." I find this recorded text to be incredible. Such speech in the midst of combat and chaos makes Shakespeare appear like some newspaper article, a gossip column, or some other form of media provided through the confines of peace some 300 years later. Absolutely unbelievable.

[@CarrotConsumer]

I highly doubt it actually went down like that. This account is undoubtedly embellished. It's also translated so it is partly the translator's influence.

[@venator0405]

@Southern Fun Nobody seriously talked of fighting dragons, fool. First hand accounts like this are how medieval historians recorded everything we know about from the era. So don't talk shit when you don't know shit.

[@mairuzo]

Also take into account that this was how they spoke day-to-day, not actors quoting a 300 year old language, so you can imagine these sentences were spoken with speed and ease

[@ragimundvonwallat8961]

@Eric Kim being of lowly extraction and a coward its almost unbeleivable for such creature to beleive in proper language and courage. always projecting your scoundrellness on other who accomplished great deeds

[@geoffedwards-tb4kp]

@@ragimundvonwallat8961 Men are known for their deeds and that is what they do.Untill.youve shared danger and suffering ,victory from defeat and fellow you don't 3xpect or really know save your life. Would you doubt how men who survive achieve it. Ignore flies till their in your eyes. Then flick.them.

[@barbaricvm0]

Ha, by God's head, have you ever seen such riff raff ?¿

[@zephyrna6249]

It seems as if the events were severely downplayed and underexagerated. Almost like its no big thing that he saw a man's nose hanging on by a thread as he actively continued fighting, or that they literally threw pots of napalm on people during combat. Not to mention how many times he was hit and wounded.

[@MyGuy18]

It wouldnt be. He's trained for this since he was aroind 7-16 years old. This isnt the account of a peasant or man first at battle. This man has already seen many battles. He willingly chose to travel to Jeraulseam and fight people he never seen for a land he never known for loyalty to his lord and faith. Im pretty sure when he was injured, he was pissed as hell. The reader to me is too calm really lmao. I work in a kitchen for 12 years and most of my family are in the military. We have the same feeling about our professions. If you catch fire, take off your outer jacket and continue on. You can always be scared later 😆.

[@moukbu4235]

Well he's in a foreign land either he fights for his life out of terror or dies like a dog he chose to fight out of terror..

[@DJSbros]

I think most people would continue to fight even with their nose in such a state, its better than the sure alternative if one stope fighting.

[@connorb2112]

Why would that injury bother him? It wasnt his nose.

[@EmilReiko]

Back then, in litterature they didnt recount emotions - just actions. it often makes things sounds downplayed to the modern reader, who is used to a language captuting emotions.

[@RegisTraiter]

The sheer brutality of this sort of fighting would have probably broken most modern men.

[@elgringosupremo]

Men do what they have to do, in any time period. There are warriors today too.

[@WastePlace]

ElGringo Supremo yeah. This guy acts like weak men weren’t a thing up until recently even though there have been strong and weak people in all periods of history

[@kamuelalee]

People today -- even the military -- are too coddled by modern conveniences and personal freedoms. We couldn't even begin to comprehend the brutality of the 13th century.

[@erikariehs8287]

Chemical warfare and brutal shrapnel injuries are also bad.

[@jimmyhostetler3421]

kamuelalee I don’t think people of the 13th century could imagine children suicide bombers either

[@BigHugsFromHell]

"I was _only_ wounded in five places..." If any line shows how tough these guys were, for me it was that one. Jeeze.

[@jaredjones1752]

5:55 - "...this was a very fine passage of arms. For in this battle, no one drew bow or crossbow. It was a battle of mace and swords." Ah, the "not as clumsy or as random as a blaster. An elegant weapon for a more civilized time" monologue of the Middle Ages.

[@sirmalus5153]

No one used a crossbow or other bow, so it was a good (fair?) fight. Now that's real fighting at arms length. True warrior code.

[@SpeKFX]

@Comrade von Herpenderpf Acceptable projectiles. Anything more and you're a wank.

[@EndingTimes0]

I'll keep my ar15 tyvm. I'd rather die from bullets than blades and maces.

[@laurencesiddall277]

Here’s another fact about fair fighting and honour on the battlefield the English did no use the crossbow in war because they thought of it as an unfair advantage in battle so they stuck to bow and arrows

[@gelationousskin835]

​@@laurencesiddall277 I don't really believe that's true. They mainly used the Longbow which was more devastating for unarmored infantry and cavalry than crossbow considering it has a higher fire rate and was generally, just at good if not better, at penetrating gambeson and with luck chainmail, but this ultimately depends on the type of arrowhead used and distance ect ect. The reason for the crossbows success was the ease in which you could train men in a short period of time to use it effectively. This was not the case in England where mandatory training for the longbow had to be implemented for military age men and children.

[@Rauser142]

@@laurencesiddall277 pure bullshit

[@obiwanfisher537]

"I was only hurt with the darts 5 times and my horse only 15 times." ---> " 'Tis but a scratch"

[@allosaurusfragilis7782]

The paintings and tapestries make them look like a bunch of kids, with angelic faces....the reality was these guys were absolute beasts.

[@chrisd2051]

"I only had five arrows in me" -Boss level

[@davoudrezaeian3877]

that was one of your best contents so far

[@istvansipos9940]

08:22 those felines on those shields are smiling. smiling! anyway, I hope the survivors visited a good knight club after the battle.

[@tostie3110]

Happy little lions

[@UlfhedinnNorsk]

“Imagine a king who fights his own battles. Wouldn’t that be a sight” - Achilles.

[@dougieranger]

These men were absolutely heroic. “I was only wounded with five darts.”

[@DaxOrlom]

I honestly think I can imagine this battle and some of the shenanigans that must have went on.

[@Fish_Master]

Shenanigans? Dude got his face cut off!?!

[@DaxOrlom]

@@Fish_Master Dumb shit happens when people are fighting. No one ever looks cool in a fight. Chaos hits and people have to make quick decisions. Some good decisions, but also a lot of bad and wonky ones.

[@aljosap8445]

Shenanigans haha man you killed me but yeah this dude describes it like some massive bar brawl.

[@billiondollardan]

I would not have lived longer than 2 months had I been born before modern medicine. The idea of surviving melee combat is almost impossible to imagine

[@easadventures1349]

800 years later and we're still fighting over sand.

[@westweiborough1561]

there's black liquid there though

[@antivalidisme5669]

"And you must know this was a very fine passage of arms, for in this battle no one drew bow or crossbow". As my fellow Gascon Pierre Fançois-Joseph de Bosquet would say watching a brigade of British Hussards charging some Russian submachineguns somewhere near Sebastopol in the mid 1800's "C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre, c'est de la folie! Could someone bring me my 180 libers warbow, I'm tired of playing? More seriously, what a bloody and instructive tale thank so much for sharing. Happy new year sir take care!

[@Valchrist1313]

That's nothing compared to the laser-rifles that gunned down US troops in the Vietnam war!

[@antivalidisme5669]

@@Valchrist1313 Sorry guy I love to let very approximative commentaries to get how much some dudes can get triggered, my inner fault! 'Cause yep Bataclava was about heavy guns, not some sort of next gen Gatling gun. But still as a HEMA guy and nineteenth century French and British blades collector I was hoping people would get the idea. Seems like I missed the mark, my deepest apologies sir.

[@gazzaboo8461]

@@Valchrist1313 that's true, the plasma balls hurled at the French at Agincourt by the gallant British slingshot brigade did grave damage, though I imagine not nearly as dangerous a weapon as laser-rifles!

[@chrisdelzell8467]

@@Valchrist1313 well who could forget the last stand of Leonidas the Lionheart, lightsaber in hand, who faced down the laser raptors at Baden Hill?

[@EdDueim]

Charge of the Light Brigade, mate.

[@abysschef5078]

Bro some of the quotes these dudes were letting out were legendary, absolute mad lads.

[@mrcody333cam]

“ bring forth thy holy hand grenade!”

[@2bingtim]

Thank goodness the Saracens didn't have access to Loganberries!

[@Toetalwar]

"I was only wounded in five places, and my horse, fifteen." ONLY

[@DesertSmeagle]

The crusades sounded pretty gory. I can’t even imagine

[@lindainglis8506]

DesertSmeagle All war is gory. Unspeakable.

[@DesertSmeagle]

Linda Inglis ya. Well I mean just the up close and personal nature of killing with a blade and watching a person die in front of you. It wouldn’t have ever been instant death because of the armor protecting all the vital organs. Ya know?

[@TheLynchster]

8:18 so this mans gets past everyone somehow then goes bonks Lord Peter on the head and runs off to his friends laughing. This is hilarious, not to mention how tf did a group of 8 men get to the king and lead him away.

[@tonywilkinson6895]

What a fantastic account of something I’ve been reading about for some years.thanks for bringing this to light.

[@jonathanisernhagen6515]

This is very entertaining. Thanks for taking the trouble to find/assemble it.

[@shan3671]

“We shall talk of this day in ladies chambers!” -me to my homeboys on the headset while playing COD

[@pwnorbepwned]

“Lord, if you think neither I nor my heirs will incur reproach therein, I will go and fetch you help from the Count of Anjou, whom I see in the midst of yonder field.” Spoken quite eloquently for a man talking with his own nose in his mouth.

[@codykrueger796]

Think of how amazing a scene this would be in a film. It is like a movie, he pulls up a gambison as the darts are flying on him and guards himself. It sounds as violent as black hawk down. Like Lord Everard lost his nose and he asks if he should get help, and as long as they think not is not at all cowardly. So he runs for help and the guy is like nope, can't help, as if it was not serious enough. His nose is literally cut off... he goes through a this and then he survives to 93. I wonder how he was hit that he was held down by someone's lance, but then drew a second sword. It also surprises me since the sword in later middles ages is not used nearly as much as the warhammer. I feel bad they did not have 15th century warhammers then. You know this totally shows me french can be tough as nails.

[@michaelman957]

Thank you for bringing history to life.

[@infoscholar5221]

Great to hear such a modern sounding narrative from that remote time, so many of us would like to connect with. Fantastic job.

[@Khornecussion]

Dude basically said " Not a single ranged pussy in sight. " - Was playing Mordhau before it existed.

[@antirealist]

The talk of "small scratches" killing people in the days before antibiotics is mostly unfounded exaggeration for dramtic effect. When I was a child, often I would go without antibiotics when scratched, scraped, or cut. My body healed itself and most of the time I simply didn't need antibiotics. I still do this as an adult - only using antibiotics when absolutely necessary and it shouldn't surprise anyone that my wounds heal just fine. The same is and has always been true of human beings in general. The human body is tough. Built to withstand life in the wild, like any other animal. Sure, getting cut or stabbed deep enough by rusty or bloody metal blade can different but to say pre-antibiotic people dropped like flies from the "smallest scratch" just isn't true. Disease from overcrowded, unhygienic cities and towns, famine, and death by blood loss were more common causes of death.

[@indrekkpringi]

So their shields were hung from their necks: Makes a hell of a lot of practical sense. Imagine having to hold the full weight of a shield for hours and not have your shield arm get tired, Dropping your shield lower makes you open to attack.

[@VulcanLogic]

Shoulder to thigh. Shoulder to thigh.

[@trailingarm63]

Incredible, and yet believable. I will seek this biography out. Thanks for posting.

[@evandotterer4365]

This just goes to show how powerful a fully mounted knight can be. Parallel to a modern tank in every regard. Robust, durable, heavily armored and mobile. Can survive 5 wounds and his horse fucking 15.

[@juanzulu1318]

5 arrows stuck in the armour dont equal 5 wounds.

[@MrCmon113]

Partially mounted knights on the other hand were no good.

[@rickfrompawnstars5550]

*gets stabbed in the face to the point where his nose is partially falling off* “Tis but a scratch!”

[@rickfrompawnstars5550]

A A lolololol not with the arsenal I have in my shed. Bring it on Muhammad

[@PLS-PG]

It is so mindblowing to think that these persons really existed and went through this

[@FurryManPeach]

That was such a good retelling! They had balls of steel!

[@RivetGardener]

Wow....what a descripion of hand to hand combat!

[@southernviking3113]

The Knight’s description of the battle was simply amazing!!!

[@thundershirt1]

Game of Thrones writers (all Hollywood really), take note: armor works, is very effective, and special techniques are needed to defeat it (even mail). Heavy strikes with lance, attacks to the exposed parts of the face, ect. Just sayin.

[@RyllenKriel]

To live through all of those events and survive to the age of 93? Hah! By God's bonnet indeed!

[@Elderos5]

Wow! That was pretty amazing! I am suprise at the amount of physical punishment that was being delt. I lost the tips of two fingers to my table saw and I was incapacitated for about two weeks. I could not imagine taking the punishment these men withstood.

[@AgnusCavichioliPereira]

Probably the effect of adrenaline. If you lose an entire limb during a fight to the death, you'll probably feel less pain than if you cut off just a finger while cooking. But after the fight, I'm pretty sure there were a LOT of moaning and pain cries.

[@wadehwallace]

Joinville also records a later battle before their final surrender to the Mamluks. In that battle, Joinville and the other wounded were tasked with guarding a flank. Many of them couldn't wear their chainmail armor or carry a shield because of their wounds. Absolutely tough as nails, but also very desperate.

[@TemporalMatador]

Man, losing them in battle is one thing, but if I cut my own fingers off by mistake I surely wouldn't be gaffing about it online

[@Elderos5]

@@TemporalMatador in all honesty, the saw fell off the table. It's not like I was being careless or anything.

[@Alkis05]

Oh, look! I'm from Brazil and live in a city named Joinville. What a coincidence. The strange thing is that it was founded by German colonists, not French.

[@DidierDidier-kc4nm]

many germans had french roots because of huguenots

[@xd3athskn1ghtx]

This is incredible. Please make more of these!

[@REX-gq6ur]

"And you must know that this was a very fine passage of arms, for this battle no one drew bow or crossbow." Yeah they got banned from the server.

[@Frank-mm2yp]

Bows and cross bows were the weapons of the common foot soldiers. Noble knights disdained them preferring the sword ,shield, lance, mace , battle axe etc, Of course they also wore full metal body armor and rode on horses.

[@REX-gq6ur]

@@Frank-mm2yp I too would feel happy if I do not see any of these to puncture me even more after getting peppered by a few dozen war darts.

[@Numba003]

I much enjoy these firsthand accounts my friend! Stay well out there everybody, and Jesus Christ be with you friends.😊

[@0ne-Two]

This was awesome. You should look at the first European settlers that came to the New World and read their encounter with the Native Americans. Really interesting stuff

[@VicmundLim]

Link pls

[@owenmatthewaurelio]

Probablky the 15-20th time I have listened to this. What a story. This makes it so real, nothing romantic at all. Thank you for making this reral for us.

[@monadamus42]

That was intense. Thanks for sharing

[@TheZerech]

Fiore dei Liberei's Flower of Battle is a must read for anyone interested in medieval martial arts.

[@DJSbros]

I wonder if the guy who lost his nose survived.

[@69mankini]

Probably died from disease

[@Andrew-pu8ly]

Yes ..... and he never had a nose-cold , again

[@joshyaks]

Nope. 4:35 - "...he would die of that wound."

[@CanIbeWithThee]

I can't get the image of a nearly severed nose folded over on the lips out of my head. I mean what would you do if it was you? Cut it off the rest of the way? I mean wtf?!

[@damienholland9244]

They may have tried wrapping it against his face with a cloth. I don't know. Infection gives no chance.

[@zarlei6048]

Probably die of infection.

[@mathewhale3581]

He did die from that wound. I guess that’s why he went on the suicide misssion to get help for his friends in the ruined house

[@zarlei6048]

@@mathewhale3581 Dudes metal af.

[@CanIbeWithThee]

@@damienholland9244 That's what thought to but then I realized there's probably way to many severed vessels and whatever to reestablish blood flow. I figured they'd have had to cut it off, (assuming he had survived the battle of course), otherwise gangrene would have led to infection and death.

[@irecipherus7150]

Count Peter of Brittany laughing while being wounded across the face my be the greatest thing I’ve ever heard.

[@PaulTheSkeptic]

It's funny how precise they were with their language. What was he said? Something like "And he bade me let go of thine bridle which I still held along with the others. And I did." Now a writer would say "He took his horse...".