Ridiculous News Headline Tier List

[@justsam4572]

y’all didn’t have to put my lowest moment as the thumbnail but I’ll still tune in

[@taigus-sv4vq]

They did you dirty Sam 😢

[@dksjskjdjdj]

u still listen to travis scott?

[@justsam4572]

@@dksjskjdjdj fuck yeah

[@rorye6952]

Some would say it was one of your higher moments

[@xGRF1]

Lowest?

[@12sleep34]

guys i applied for the role of "Riley" like a month ago and i still haven't gotten an email? even my agent called.. i really need this gig right now

[@Helsinki40268]

Yo figure 8 pfp!

[@northmount2282]

the gig economy can be so stressful!!

[@base4yrface]

Good thing he's going to be kicked off soon due to his comments, they have an open casting call for the part of Riley soon

[@colinbrash]

Yeah cause your references didn’t come through, Mr Stinky.

[@zackswitch9656]

Tbh I think the Riley role should be axed for a better character.

[@thomas_delaney]

Can’t believe yall missed the headline “Connecticut man traveling 45mph nearly runs over woman in Burlington coat factory parking lot”

[@reiemg]

that was me

[@mosespf]

as a fellow Connecticut person thats just the tip of the iceberg here

[@InspectahReese]

only 45mph??

[@ASOUE]

Incredible reference

[@bankrolDiggy]

What was he driving, r8?

[@jkmovin]

I am entirely befuddled and gobsmacked that neither of them recognised the absolute classic that is Does Bruno Mars is Gay?

[@12sleep34]

or GAY CAVEMAN

[@cassidyauld6413]

thanks, i submitted that one!

[@CapslockGoD]

classic game grumps bit too

[@press_x_tojason]

“Classic Game Grumps bit” and it is just someone else’s joke, drawn out to be inherently unfunny.

[@undrscrmsn]

@@press_x_tojasonyap yap yap

[@matiasihlo2762]

The Beatles used to have a pp measuring competition every year and john always won the first few years but one day paul came into the studio with a willy twice as big and went on to win every year untill the band ended. It was as if he was a whole different person

[@samylemzaoui2298]

now why did i google it to check

[@hiero_4097]

​@samylemzaoui2298 is it true

[@KavsLockedOut]

@@hiero_4097 yes

[@samylemzaoui2298]

@@hiero_4097 google it

[@FallingEastward]

​@hiero_4097 just checked, there's an interview with Ringo where he states that George had always been the longest so there's that debunked

[@WhosDylan]

"Zineas and Herb" is actually top tier

[@InspectahReese]

“Suspect under arrest in Michigan for illegally selling grackles without a license”

[@joshuafrey8464]

With an illegal BOGO

[@Julien_Flowers]

Didn't know friend of the show and musician Quebec was part of a 18 million dollar syrup heist. 😮

[@madfisch473]

he even confessed in his album “i didn’t mean to steal 18 million dollars worth of syrup”

[@Julien_Flowers]

@@madfisch473 it all makes so much sense now

[@danielmagee8637]

They fail to recognize the possibility of a pre-existing longer corpse from someone who used to be the tallest man in the world.

[@treyturner9707]

graydon really shot himself in the foot with his catholic priest rant, but then he got me right back on board with the missing kids argument

[@casadastraphobia]

Not unlike when Dignan shot (something something hivemind comment joke)

[@SUBMACHINEGOTH]

No fucking way they did a 6 minutes long bit about searching a dead kid vs searching the loch ness monster

[@thomasgoninbaia7346]

i mean the bass headbump is a pretty strong argument

[@familyguycutawaygag]

analyzing the beatles jerk circle like the zapruder film is crazy

[@Austin_3000]

I cant even watch the news anymore since Dignan started his reign of terror

[@outmywritemind1739]

His Warren Terror

[@CakeHeadYTChannel]

I feel like Riley is still mad about the gabapentin thing

[@SasMuffin427]

some solid picks but nothing that tops "large boulder the size of a small boulder"

[@Leo-st9ti]

Dear Riley, this video has left a profound impact on me. My mom just ascended from triple cancer and after what happened back in 2003 I’ve been struggling. As June approaches and the cherry blossom perishes, I feel my slip loosen. My mind feels like an empty cave, echoing everything put in. My soul is gone, I’m simply just existing now as the bells toll grows louder. Btw could you guys please give me my house back? This game isn’t funny anymore.. Don’t let the bed bugs bite.

[@Pocket_Jake]

i measure everything in taylor swifts i've always done that

[@SimplyMattis]

Finally a video for viewers who don't know shit about music or movies, but do know what super tuesday is

[@Lemminboy7]

What is super tuesday

[@dudemanguy3912]

​@HearingWall7238 clearly this video isn't for you

[@runa_7022]

@@Lemminboy7ur an imposter here

[@manzington]

She [first half of title] on my [second half of title] ‘til I HIVEMIND Unlimited (I have no friends)

[@fortino6029]

ridiculous news head on my line tier list

[@meowstarmeow]

SHE She [first half of title] on my ON MY [second half of title] ‘til I TIL I HIVEMIND Unlimited (I have no friends)

[@OK-qj9lw]

⁠@@meowstarmeowshe She “[first half of my title on my [second half of title]” on my “ ‘til I HIVEMIND Unlimited” ‘til I “(I have no friends)”

[@01neveroddoreven10]

She hive on my mind til I headline

[@spenserwalker4361]

Congratulations on not getting COVID!🎉

[@blunderbass851]

My mind is totally hived

[@makesomething4093]

28:26 I want to believe he got this mis-pronunciation ingrained in him from the ridiculous announcer from Pokémon Stadium. He would say “IT BARROWED UNDERGROUND!”

[@aezidoubleu]

The hivemind unlimited background always makes me feel like im watching imposters

[@Thatsjusthewayitis]

All these headlines about the terrible things Dignan apparently did are ridiculous

[@BurnAfterEating]

please make a part two so you can include my hometowns infamous "Man forced way into home, made frozen spaghetti and clams, police say"

[@ohyeah4399]

dead kid vs loch ness monster is a crazy matchup

[@LW114YT]

Tofu can taste so fucking good if you know what you're doing

[@LilAnnThrax]

I would love a "love is love unless you're an armadillo" sticker

[@gbar8569]

"Sir, a second tower has just hit the plane" might be S tier ngl

[@123brendan12]

“Man arrested for smuggling Egyptian Salamanders into El Salvador, its SO illegal”

[@Squidditch]

We being blessed with hivemind content recently

[@k2a2l2]

the bruno mars one is one of the greatest of all time, a true classic

[@Randomjackass135]

A “river of Vyvanse”. Wow. We really all lived the same life. So many Pall Malls, so many reds.

[@mortezz1268]

Hernanes' saddest backflip was because he scored against his former team

[@mortezz1268]

Also it created the subreddit r/saddestbackflip which is full of ridiculous sports headlines

[@biscuittactician]

watched this while i was playing minecraft and i kept thinking a creeper was about to go off with their choice of sound effect when giving a ranking

[@youngmanomg]

missed opportunity on that last one cause the full headline is "The Rumor Come Out: Does Bruno Mars is Gay?". The entire article is insane and classic

[@jonsve4948]

instant green background classic

[@neverrsober]

graydons thighs looking huge today

[@kubahavelka9556]

Wow you're right, those are some chunky big boy fuck-me hippo thighs

[@rainerochsofficial]

guys you forgot “man opens amusement park dedicated to pulled pork under the influence of gabapentin”

[@bellsyo72]

I screenshotted a news article that said "Antisemitism rally planned Sunday in [my city]"... It was for Antisemitism awareness week

[@EsotericThoughts93]

😂

[@asseating_mailman]

Be real crazy to have the people who came to present or who knew ahead about the convention and the kinda people the headline implies should show up (Dignan?) Together in what i presume is a closed off or limited area together

[@erikkarlsson6815]

The congregation diddler goes hard tho

[@GriffinK10]

Maple Syrup is the most valuable liquid on earth haha. A bucket of syrup is worth more than a bucket of oil

[@asseating_mailman]

Genuine question: does this include all types of liquids? Like including magma, latex / rubber, molten metals, LSD25, sauces, liquified gases (like liquid nitrogen), rocket fuel, bromine, blood / plasma, hydraulic fluid, like out of everything? Any type of liquid?

[@blakehagins3069]

My favorite hivemind bit 23:50 - 26:06

[@violetskypilot6697]

for like 2 seconds at 34:49, graydon had raw Wayne from Letterkenny energy, could feel the produce stand squint from here

[@disphing]

how could they forget about zynldlish gambino

[@chanofrom69th]

We really gotta buy a couple of ferns for this set

[@rehnaanliker5931]

Between two ferns? Hell yeah

[@husvidfloden]

episode 2 gotta have "kim kardashian touches down in pete davidson's native new york city"

[@snfriedm]

2 hives in a few days???? cmon hive mind you don’t have to spoil us like that. no seriously you don’t.

[@clam6254]

riley is confused about zynnachino, wait till he finds out what al pacino is going by nowadays…

[@d360_]

Should do another episode where it’s just Florida Man headlines

[@thejunklord812]

Never thought i’d Hernanes’s name on Hivemind. He backflipped after scoring against his previous team (Lazio) and it didn’t go down too well.

[@ethan_dollard]

where are the headlines about the crimes dignan committed overseas

[@Bug3ater2]

Still adjusting to the new set. Didn't know the table was hiding diggys absolute trunks of legs

[@lanceelliott2504]

Need y'all to know that I'm autistic and while it's inconsequential it makes me viscerally angry every time you film in front of the green wall instead of the yellow room

[@ianumathews5922]

Hopefully this doesn’t make it worse for you but the fact that they are at a flat wall and not a corner also gets to me 😭

[@EsotericThoughts93]

I think you just diagnosed me

[@Skapapapow]

As a Québecois, I wish our regional accent made us sound like Donald Duck as Dignan hypothesized.

[@EsotericThoughts93]

Literally seeing this as he did the impression lmao

[@YuutsuSekai_]

You guys should do a hivemind limited reading the Does Bruno Mars Is Gay story! It’s an experience

[@yourstruly4536]

riley looks like he shouldn't be taller than a cartoon mouse door

[@raventrunite6459]

omg ! honi soit (first headline) is the student paper at usyd (a uni in sydney australia) !!!

[@EditsbyM]

there's an entire subreddit dedicated to similar football headlines to "saddest backflip".

[@WhosDylan]

I'm honestly struggling really hard to stay motivated in school and every day seems so challenging. I just really want to thank everyone at Hivemind. Thank you for making my life seem a little easier and for giving me time to just sit and laugh. It helps me out more than anything and I'll forever be grateful for you guys, the friends I never met. ❤

[@whatatimetobealive524]

when you give up that's when you fucked up get your fucking racks up

[@karldubois5821]

12:29 Super hyped they finally shouted me out! Love you guys

[@tatianaxx5000]

My favorite alpha male podcast

[@stellar1526]

as a canadian its always amusing to see americans say "qwuh-beck" when they try to pronounce quebec. its whimsical, like the pogo stick based crime i did not commit in 1998.

[@kubahavelka9556]

Just two guys having an unlimited amounts of fun

[@andynachos2045]

Dignan is giving me uncanny valley in the thumbnail

[@lilhotdish]

All time best channel to sleep to!

[@Ahhghghh]

Calling dead kids elusive is hilarious

[@cjsdizzy]

24:45 to 26:06 is one of the funniest goddamn bits the editing the whole thing lol this episode is so good

[@GeorgeElliott-v2j]

jokes are funny, set is great, but the two mic setup changes the auditory vibe in a way that i’m not sure i like, maybe it sounds too professional

[@t0xen635]

really going back to s2 w/a tier list

[@benaylward9288]

Riley’s Hum shirt is so fire

[@gmamusic26]

Riley be looking super nervous, almost like he knew what happend to that child in 1996 in Fargo, North Dakota

[@cecilygriffis6508]

My sister would not be here today if my mom would have worn sneakers as the green m&m on halloween 2002 I can tell you that much

[@positive.juice.apartment]

i need to know the band on graydons hat

[@staccato2]

GRAYDONS THIGHS😀

[@SkillSyrup]

That picnic table incident happened in my home town lol

[@ttig4044]

Grayden could give Fantanos thighs a run for their money.

[@sean6285]

I didn’t expect Hernanes to be mentioned in a hivemind video ever 😂

[@strandiam]

Maybe the picnic table had a pole hole. ⛱

[@lu-qx9gw]

i love the people laughing in the background

[@iceboarding4462]

Nice Hum shirt, Riley!!

[@taiyaki4141]

recently learned my teacher is a hivemind fan, very scary discovery that i may never recover from

[@cologne4965]

She go hivemind mode on my unlimited

[@funnyguy1203]

wait... im REALLY confused. why did the dignan-looking guy say he liked the taylor swift meteor headline then put it in F tier later????

[@OfficiallyMaidenless]

"Could've done better" was so real lol

[@TheSound-o2e]

graydons body double's doing a great job in this

[@theprettyoftheodd7997]

it's about time for the news

[@BeDjeRenD]

We making it out of the dark murky waters of comedy with this one

[@dragonlily187]

Yall missed “Massachusetts man accidentally crashes into Apple Store going over 60mph” ill never stop wondering how do you accidentally crash into a store going 60mph

[@Scalien]

she Ridiculous News Headline on my Tier List till I HIVEMIND UNLIMITED

[@funty420]

Not used to seeing graydons legs like this. 6'4" you say....to shreds you say...

[@crimson2209]

this video is just as unhinged as the last one but in a totally different way

[@AshtonCullinan]

My top 2 favorites of all time are: 'Make better choices' endangered Hawaiian monk seals keep getting eels stuck up their noses and scientists would like for them to stop Giant phallus-shaped iceberg floating in Conception Bay surprises residents of Dildo, Canada

[@Ikea_Enjoyer]

why did graydon get the mrbeast treatment on the thumbnail

[@joshklapperich9416]

minion memes tierlist

[@me8058]

Why is there two dudes talking about news?? I came here to watch Titanic

[@Scylaxius]

The does Bruno Mars is gay headline is the closest my two favorite KZbinrs got to overlapping and I’m taken so aback by this

[@righf22]

if you're the worlds current tallest person but not the tallest person of all time you wouldn't necessarily become the worlds longest corpse when u die (depending on wether or not you consider it to be the longest corpse of all time and if the person who was taller's corpse still existed or not)

[@myragingwhormoans]

can't believe they've never seen does bruno mars is gay

[@compenceTV]

Hivemind is responsible for "david beckham almond nipples" being in my search history

[@kaleehall6271]

riley’s mood in this one is so different than usual!! still, great vid boys❤️