No More Mr. Nice Guy [LIVE CHAT with Dr. Robert Glover]

[@M-iy4tf]

No Glover, all the guys did not just go for certain women. Guys are much more excepting of a wide spectrum of women. Women, however, only chase a few guys

[@michaelsorensen7567]

A wide spectrum, but even so it's limited from EVERY woman, right? So the problems have different scales, but there are still problems, no?

[@Brent-z2s]

Picking up an anvil vs picking up a feather.

[@M-iy4tf]

@@michaelsorensen7567 different problems From reading glovers books and viewing his online content, I find he doesn’t recognize or admit there’s a difference between men and women’s strategies

[@gezus0711]

Accepting. Not excepting. And I agree with your comment.

[@LamelKendrick]

this guy starts out agreeable and ends up shifting towards bp the end of the talk

[@roundup1253]

Women don’t like to see the weak Side of men. Thats explaining so many things.

[@JJG369]

I don’t like that they have periods once a month, but we’re all human right?

[@jurassicthunder]

​@@JJG369😂

[@Brent-z2s]

I teach but when I can't I work in the oilfield for a year until I can get on teaching again but if my boss finds that out I would get fired immediately. I couldn't tell my girlfriend that or it would have gotten back to my boss. That is bs.

[@mikearias2283]

I think the Movie Fight Club highlighted most of what was covered in this talk. "A generation of men raised by women"

[@jasonshults368]

There have been many generations raised by women. Not just recent ones.

[@mikearias2283]

@ yes. But as was mentioned in the conversation. The rituals and rights of passage that turn a boy into a man are gone. This was one of the main aspects of the movie. The narrator did not connect with other men. He was trying to fit in a nice tiny box that he thought would please society. The condo, the furniture, the wardrobe. He was completely alone. It wasn’t until he connected with other men that he found some solace. Then Marla happened.

[@true_plays_games]

@@jasonshults368no, there haven’t been Children of a certain age were raised by men, in fields, hunting, on farms, in mines and building. Learn your history.

[@rattlehead999]

@@jasonshults368 But back in the day they NEEDED to raise men, in the past century they didn't and applied their biases and ideologies on them.

[@rawdan3549]

“[…] I don’t think another women is the sollution” is the full quote-ish. “They” were speaking abiut marriage.

[@Anicca108]

Dr. Glover is spot-on when he blames older men - his generation - for not helping to initiate young men into adulthood. I’m 40 and have gotten ZERO HELP from Gen X or Boomers. In fact, they’re the first ones to try and cut me down every time whenever I try something adventurous, creative, or growth-oriented. It still happens to this day, only now I look forward to being challenged by their passive aggressiveness and sabotage attempts because I’m strong enough internally now to handle it. I try to encourage younger guys whenever I can now, because I see their struggles so clearly that I see myself _as them._

[@mickeyc2137]

that's awesome! Thank you for being a shining example!

[@MegaAvalonn]

I'm 43 and you've just described my life story. I've just come to accept that unless you're rich and willing to fork out the dollars - you're stuck with having to learn everything yourself. Often it's a process of bumbling around when someone with more experience could just give a few pointers to avoid it, but c'est la vie. I wish I had more tools to mentor guys in their 20's, but honestly half the time I feel as if I'm barely treading above water myself. I just don't see how I could lead.

[@Anicca108]

@@MegaAvalonn I think just saying honest, authentic, or encouraging words to a young guy in passing or say “how’s it going? How’s life treating you?” goes a really long way. It’s certainly better than the less-than-nothing we got from our elders.

[@cavemantero]

47 gen xer and this is what I've fought through my entire life...the older genxers are basically boomers

[@MThyne-oz2zu]

By Gen X'ers? Blame the boomers my friend. Your boomer parents may have pressured you to follow the traditional path. Our boomer parents didn't even know where the hell we were (or care).

[@yourfavoriteentertainment]

We are a generation without fathers or any masculine role models. So, we look to the internet for them because we feel lost.

[@donthatetheflayerhatethega4170]

And this same generation of fathers without masculinity has resulted in many young women being 304’s

[@rickroller420]

I’ve made it as a doctor, paid off my student loans by myself, own a house, have developed tons of valuable skills to maintain my house, as well as music and hobbies, and I can’t imagine settling down with a woman who sat at the finish line and waited for me to work on myself, all just to be unappreciated.

[@RealGeorg3]

I agree. Men used to be raised to think it was their moral duty to take on the burden of a wife. Effectively being indoctrinated from a young age. Maybe the women were more tolerable then too, who knows. Nothing short of a cultural revolution in the West is going to turn it around now.

[@SILVERBOLT1985]

It’s not our fault for being born and raised in the muck. But it is our responsibility to climb up out of it.

[@niallk9336]

It's actually not our responsibility. I don't owe these women anything. I don't owe society anything. Why should men do all this work just to be destroyed, mentally and materially, by "no fault" (read: always his fault) divorce.

[@johannesstephanusroos4969]

​@@niallk9336 I think you misunderstood his statement, he means that you need to build your empire, for yourself. If you find a woman worthy of keeping around, she can stay as long as she's a net positive. If not, that's her loss, it's still your empire

[@rattlehead999]

The second statement would be true if there weren't institutions and society trying to actively go against us doing well in life. So it's not our responsibility, it's our own desire to do so and if there is a lack of desire to do so, it's also understandable, just not preferable. You can't be held responsible when you are being stabbed in the legs constantly, but you can desire to thrive despite it.

[@imperiumoccidentis7351]

@@niallk9336 You're thinking too passively. In case you haven't noticed, it's men that actually build civilizations, and it's men that determine the rules of the game. If the rules aren't working for you, you change them. Life is a struggle and one giant shit test that only the strongest can endure.

[@mycrazylife408]

you are not what happened to you you are what happened after. also If you think the price of winning is too high, wait till you get bill from regret

[@mickeyc2137]

This is so on point! I'm a woman who had all sisters. I am Gen X my parents are Baby Boomers. I watched my dad his entire life be a total pushover always caving to my mom, allowing her to control him. Even though he didnt have any sons, that was still a bad example for his daughters. My mom also gave the bad example of emasculating him, though he allowed it. Its interesting what you both said about men needing to spend regular time with a group of male friends. now that I think about it, my dad had no male friends throughout the decades he has been with my mom. On a rare occasion my parents will go out to dinner or something with another couple, but that is rare. My dad never has had even one male friend he would talk to, go do things with not even on a regular basis but not even on an occasional basis. I see my father as a wet noodle and I had to work through so much resentment I had for both of my parents. Just because they are still married after 55 years doesn't mean they have a relationship to model after.

[@jurassicthunder]

I heard a guys say he is emasculated in his relationship and he woke up to it but said it was too late, the kids learned the wrong lessons already. sometimes you gotta ask your father why.

[@jsbrads1]

As terrible as the Boomers can be, they were failed by society when we moved from the extended family to the nuclear family and we lost access to the perpetual supervision of our parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles who taught us how to develop into a post newlywed spouses, new parents, parents of teens, and parents of young newlyweds. My friend married a woman who wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. He worked hard all day only to come home to no supper. Then he had to train his wife that she needed to prepare supper for him. I recall hearing a story of an older time when a mother saw her newly wed daughter not preparing supper she slapped and rebuked her daughter.

[@mickeyc2137]

@@jurassicthunder to be honest I think my dad sees nothing wrong with it and thinks its normal. I dont think he sees a problem at all so it would be pointless. Even if he did, he is 77 and my mom is 75. They wouldnt bother changing anything at this point

[@sirprize5191]

He is the victim. We get told to be that way by some women so they can use us. If he's pure/naive at heart, this is what happens. Thank feminism for abusing and molding men with guilt trips

[@mickeyc2137]

@@sirprize5191 I def blame my mom a bit more but he should be masculine and have a spine

[@ukaszg1358]

I would love to see your conversetion with healthygamer.

[@Moonninja420]

I hate him.

[@idk-jb7lx]

unhealthygaslightergg

[@SpaceOddity174]

+1 Dr K is easily the most positive online influence in my life

[@idk-jb7lx]

unhealthygaslightergg

[@joshuairvin9434]

I'd buy that for a dollar.

[@Fred-rv2tu]

“Phones are a problem.” “Let’s make a phone app to fix it”

[@mrsbethaniesmith]

"Let's turn the problem into the solution"

[@hungrymusicwolf]

You don't cure addiction in people who have never touched a drug. You don't get people off phones that aren't already on it.

[@2godbeinfiniteglory]

All app roads lead to monetization. Solution becomes the problem again.

[@damonmuzzy277]

Dr. Glover’s book absolutely changed my life. I read it in my early fifties, and it changed my perspective on everything about my motivations and the outcomes i had been experiencing. Every man should read it.

[@PooplexCanal]

Amazing! Would be great if you spoke LIVE with Dr. Orion Taraban

[@gigamaxextra]

The golden rule is to mirror the level of empathy people have for you.

[@swornereborne2756]

Rather, to love your neighbor as yourself

[@jurassicthunder]

no it will create a negative spiral if one side goes negative only once. its a slippery slope.

[@tomyoung8563]

@@jurassicthunder That’s only a problem for women because men are born into that reality

[@KalonOrdona2]

No, that's the pyrite rule.

[@DayrusBPB]

Be 10% better and more forgiving.

[@chriswhinery925]

Only about 20 minutes in to this but so far I'm hearing an awful lot about how men no longer know how to get from Peter Pan to the other guy but zero talk about why the hell any man SHOULD do that. Acknowledgement that the path between the two is harder than ever, but little recognition that there's no longer any reward for traversing that path. A lot of "men don't have guides anymore" but not a lot of "men don't have motives anymore." Why would a modern man bust his ass, take on a crushing burden as shown in Mr. Math's own drawing, just to participate in a society that hates masculinity and men more and more with every passing year? What, so we can attract women? Women who have a one in three chance of divorcing us for literally no reason and taking half of our stuff? Wow. Sign me up. See you there. I'm going to listen to the rest of this tonight and hope this gets covered. Guides to show men how to get from one place to another would be completely useless if there's no REASON to move.

[@ravazoid469]

So.. was it brought up?

[@chriswhinery925]

@@ravazoid469 No, not really. The whole conversation seems to be based on the idea that it's self evidently something people should want for its own sake. To be honest though I skipped the last 30 minutes of the video or so, around that point it was slammed into my face that I'm wasting my time listing to this Glover guy when he said that his wife works with shamans and ayahuasca. He's 70 and still clearly doesn't have shit in order either.

[@chriswhinery925]

@@ravazoid469 I replied to this earlier but KZbin appears to have eaten my comment and I''mm retyping ll of it, so, short answer, no.

[@galenschultz3239]

"Whinery" is a fitting name, given this sentiment. You do the right thing because it's right, don't be a baby back bitch about it. Struggle and grow, because your only other option is to struggle and die. Be a man, not a boy. That's pathetic. Don't ask what rewards you get you selfish, sniveling weakling, better the world for those around you by enhancing yourself because your quest will enrich yourself and others while acting as a beacon forward for those behind you on the path. Leave a wake of glory and strength where you walk, not a vacuum you toss all virtue into while you throw that tantrum that the universe OWES you NOTHING. Strive, thrive, and you will be shown love, even if only from yourself, and if in your journey you somehow find only yourself mature enough to love you as you'll deserve, who better to spend your time with than a human worthy of your praise.

[@mrsbethaniesmith]

They do talk about it

[@TheStoicNinja]

Every single man who actually read the whole No More Mr Nice Guy book and resists it are one of those guys that give up when things are too hard.

[@yourfavoriteentertainment]

Women: 'You're struggling? You can talk about it. Tell me." Man proceeds to tell her then woman ghosts/leaves. Never show any weakness at all.

[@swilliams937]

That isn't always true. I've intentionally acted vulnerable towards a woman to see if she would get the ick, and it didn't work.

[@AcousticJuice93]

I dated a woman who went a step beyond that. She would feign sympathy to get me to open up so I'd reveal any of my weaknesses, giving her ammunition which she'd use against me.

[@rikkitp]

On other hand, it is easy way to get rid of egoistic women.

[@gigamaxextra]

A healthy relationship is like an actual ship. The man is the captain He decides where you're going and what's happening. The woman your assistant, she gets to be helpful and enjoy the ride but if she ever tries to take the wheel you need to kick her off the boat.

[@davidsarahmccolm]

I use this analogy a lot in my marriage. I'm first mate, husband is captain. If he says hop, I hop. If he's making a terrible decision, I let him know, but once he orders, I jump right in and do my best to make it work. If he tells me to break the law and my conscience, he can take a flying one 😂 Kids are the little sailor crew. They take orders from us both 😅

[@bro918]

That sounds hard. I need a woman where I can be the assistant

[@4runner_rooney359]

Im 33. And I've retreated from dating/ life because it has no it has no reward. You just end up broke with child support.. we just struggle and then die. Why TF should we struggle more just to bring in a child and make them struggle

[@JJG369]

Exactly. Just live as long as u are able to and then go on ur own terms.

[@4runner_rooney359]

@JJG369 but I'm not happy with it. Every morning, unconsciously, my first thought is "is why am I here" what TF am I actually doing. I am a maintenance man and provide 102 low income families with the best housing that I can and it all feels pointless.. and i have come to the point where I am tired of waking up here.. I want a better reality

[@JJG369]

@@4runner_rooney359im exactly ur age and often wake up with the same thought. Everybody says ”find ur purpose” as if it was something profound and just end up complicating it. All u are is what u do (we dont judge people on thoughts, instincts but actions). All people love/appreciate in you is what u do. Therefore u are what u do. What does it mean to have purpose? To have a reason for what you do. As long as u know what u want from life, that is ur purpose. That is the reason, meaning behind what you do. There isnt some outside purpose in the clouds that u need to find. It works the other way. Ur reason/logic is what gives the reason for what you do. For me, after 10 years of hustling, chasing money to please people, I imagine myself at 60 and asked myself how my perfect day would look like. I was on a beach, playing guitar, knowing im safe and stable. Ever since then i play more guitar and chase less money. One thing i wrote down from this podcast was not to carry what is not urs to carry. I hate the notion of ”if u dont have a wife and family, Ure a bad male”. Historically only 40% of men had offspring. Having that expectation of us all is delusional and unrealistic. Why is it that woman is supposed to make u whole? Thats stupid. Why would u want children Unless u have a person u love and trust in ur life? Our societal priorities are upside down. The only thing that makes us feel unsettled is seeing that what society expects doesnt make sense and us not trusting our instincts and putting others on the pedestal. Family does not make sense without a good partner. Relationships do not make sense when u dont have access to good mates. As long as u try to fit a square in a circle, u gonna feel resistance. Find what is ur square. Fuck the circle.

[@algorithmgeneratedanimegir1286]

@@4runner_rooney359 Well you ain't gonna get one.

[@JSiracusan]

@@4runner_rooney359 that's where it starts man. get angry, then push that energy into your heart and head. What's the next step you can do today to make a better reality? one small step TODAY. "the thousand mile journey starts with one step", "what builds character is not the achievement, but the obstacles the man had to overcome to achieve" G. W. Carver.

[@M-iy4tf]

Glover obviously does not know the attraction differences between men and women

[@Draco3.6.9]

Pissing off women nowadays = jail I’d rather just not play the game. It’s a lot like the movie War Games , the only winning move is not to play.

[@LordSlag]

MGTOW until every facet of this rigged game is fair. In other words, FOREVER.

[@thebugman8696]

Just don't watch porn or touch your peepee, otherwise it's not worth it.

[@rattlehead999]

When was it fair?

[@okaySam]

@@rattlehead999 it's fair when it's bearable for most people. There was a time when this was much more true than now.

[@JJG369]

@@rattlehead999when women were thankful for what u did for them instead of taking it for granted

[@rattlehead999]

@@JJG369 When they had to pretend because they were dependent on men?

[@Cyserist]

love the videos. I don't know why the volume is so low on your channel though. It's annoying KZbin can't match the volume when it cuts to an ad. Blasts my ears out because I have to have the volume up to clearly hear your content.

[@rey_nemaattori]

My ears are literally bleeding from the ads, but the content is so good I must continue....

[@soroushal1921]

To Dr. Glover: I have all the symptoms of being a nice guy, but I never had the issues you mention here and in your book. Like, I still have both my dad and mom. I went to an all boys school and this went on until I entered university. I genuinely hated competitive games, but I never left them, etc. etc. But I am a giver. I love giving free rides to my friends, I love planning stuff and seeing people have fun at my expense. I feel good when I buy a gift someone appreciates, and I do this for men and women alike. My problem is, that if a woman gets comfortable with this style, she feels she can lay back and put me under pressure so I do everything myself. She can withhold sex so I would do her bidding. So, I never self-identified myself as your typical nice guy, but in the end I had all the symptoms. What I mean to say is, your solutions work perfectly for me, but please widen the category of "Nice Guy". Some of us are not damaged and are simply good men who hate conflicts and only want peace and order around the house 🙂

[@M-iy4tf]

Which solutions did you implement?

[@jsbrads1]

The whole society is programming us to be the Nice Guy. We can be the Strong Guy who is nice to his closest friends and everyone who knows you thinks they are part of the inner circle. Women want to know that you can hold back, how you demonstrate that is situational at times. But if you find the right one for you and try to learn, develop and change, you will do well especially if you believe you can handle any challenge you face.

[@soroushal1921]

@@M-iy4tf I encountered the book a bit late. It was after I got cheated on and when we were living far apart from each other (I was told much later about the cheating). But, reading the book, I understood that a moratorium on sex would have clarified a lot of stuff. The clear setting of boundaries would have worked wonders (I did it very late). My secret contract was thinking that when my gf finishes her studies and goes to work, we'd hire someone to do the chores so that we could have more time in our hands and with some travel and decompressing we could make it work. Too bad that she had other plans for life and was waiting for the opportune moment.

[@soroushal1921]

@@jsbrads1 Exactly. Some of us for a long time have employed strategies that work very well for other men, but don't translate correctly when interacting with women, especially the more outspoken ones who usually attract us more. One has to learn to demand things when not given freely, and that need practice. I now am in the later parts of healing. I have made lots of female friends, and seeing how they push and punish each other for bad behavior has been eye opening for me

[@histakes12]

How do you achieve peace and order without a measure of conflict? Being a “simply good man who hates conflict and only wants peace and order around the house” is a form of damage.

[@maxpaws3977]

This guy (Dr Robert Glover) has lots of great advice/teachings, but their are a few problems with him. 1. He still very much comes across as an agreeable 'nice guy'. 2. He other videos he claims he gets lots of interest from young women despite his age but fails to understand that he's a rich guy living in Mexico..

[@cavemantero]

he's a boomer...he's full of it and doesn't want to help anything other than himself

[@mrdouche9172]

It's the power of money. Also, "young women" is relative. For example, for someone who is 60, a 40 year old woman is "young" in comparison. But in reality, she's a middle aged woman.

[@forgedbyfirecoaching]

@@cavemantero Robert is a personal mentor of mine and your comment is far from the truth.

[@jsmith108]

1. "Coming across as" a nice guy doesnt mean you are a nice guy. Its not about your temperament, its about people pleasing 2. I agree with this.

[@opseeker]

You got a lot out of Dr Glover! One of the most insightful of the few interviews of his that I heard of him.

[@dunebuggy1292]

We're not wired for long term monogamous relationships??? What???? I guess we just have this long gestation period for nothing, and every mode of a functioning society being with prevailing monogamous pairing.

[@theninjaofmusic]

There are 2 prevalent mating strategies for men. High investment and low investment. High investment are the ones who engage in long term monogamous relationships, while low investment just pump and dump. The low investment strategy has become more prevalent and less consequential for the men as societal change has happened. So there are some of us (not me) who aren't wired for that kind of long term relationship, but in the past it was the only viable mating strategy so they figured it out. In modern times marriage carries arguable more risk, so more men are going to be driven to the low investment strategies.

[@mickeyc2137]

I agree. I think we ARE wired for long term monogamy

[@F.M671]

If we were then how come a guy can nut in few girls a day and get them all pregnant. Sorry mate your logic doesn't hold up even by the standard you set. Is raising kids properly instead of leaving them better ? Yes it's a lower time preference behavior that leads to better outcomes. Is it something we're wired for? Absolutely not and the only reason you think that's the case it's your upbringing. No ill will mate, just tryna explain the damn thing.

[@johnbrown1867]

I'll disagree, i think it is social engineering, the good kind for once. I personally believe it was created so that all the top men didn't get a harem, which is very accurate historically. This leaves a lot of men desperate, listless, and angry, and we know that these types of men are dangerous. Angry men are generally violent, and that does not make for a peaceful and prosperous society.

[@dunebuggy1292]

@@johnbrown1867 Well, I'm not say we are specifically wired for it, but we are wired for it. That is, it's a viable strategy; when you say we are not wired for something, it means we're doing something that has circumstantial outcomes, at least. I disagree with that. I push it further to say, it's probably the best strategy moving forward. Yes, other types of relationships have existed, but they were never prevailing to the extent monogamous relationships are. Precisely, correlatives like long gestation periods require long term familiarity with parents. Women needing someone invested in them, not a harem.

[@thomasmann4536]

as a guy who has decent success on apps and IRL, Im not sure if it's FOMO, for guys at least. What I noticed when I started dating a woman i met on an app or on the street, wasn't that I looked at other girls and thought "but she is hotter". Instead, I looked at the woman I was dating and thought "but what if it doesn work out? Do I just wait until the relationship fails, and only THEN start looking for another partner?" Finding a girl who is attracted to you and you're attracted to takes a lot of time. So I can understand the idea of wanting to date multiple women so that you can then choose the best option when you see that things are progressing in the direction you want.

[@jinnantonix]

The problem is not being nice. It's when the only thing that a man has to offer is that he is nice.

[@WardenAzdron]

It says a lot about women, if mens kindness is worthless. Im certainly investing in cruelty and apathy.

[@Brent-z2s]

When a mans skills get devalued and a womans skills get overvalued then some men try to overcompensate by being nice.

[@dumbguydepot304]

So as a man, that's on you to remedy the situation where you have a life women want to be in. If your life is lame fix it. If you can't for specific reasons fine you get a pass, if not then look in the mirror.

[@Brent-z2s]

Pay some gay men to tell women how good looking you are then when you are with her and you see a cop act nervous and avoidant and then quiet.

[@algorithmgeneratedanimegir1286]

This isn't true. Case in point: A man who has nothing to offer and is not nice gets more women than a man who has a lot to offer but is also nice. Just look at gang members vs wage workers.

[@pohenixwielki3178]

Great stream! Much knowledge, and a new perspective

[@Dingusdongus257]

23:18 I turned 27 yesterday. I have very sparse memories of the men in my life growing up. The ones I do stuck with me. One of the earliest being a day when I shadowed my uncle while he worked as a carpetbagger ~2010ish. I was tasked with tucking in the carpet in this closet when all of a sudden he farted and locked me in. Terrifying in the moment, hilarious today. My father was never much of one, always smoking in his room and watching TV. His favorite punishments being the belt and the corner. No wonder i grew fond of the peaceful aloneness of the corner. I've felt this despair of being alone my entire life with brief intermissions where I found a friend, but they never lasted long. It's not that I'm lonely, because that's the default, it's just this sense of being on an island. I deeply resonate with the sentiment that if i had more positive male role models in my life i wouldn't be the failure i am today. I struggle internally with myself wanting to be the person that a younger me needed, so i can hardly blame the past men in my life for doing the same.

[@AcousticJuice93]

My Dad is a nice guy with a mother complex so it took me until I was 29-30 to break this curse. He unironically told me multiple times when I had issues with women was that I "needed to be a bit more submissive" no joke.

[@angelcandelaria6728]

So hyped for this one!!

[@fribersson]

That was excellent, thank you both!

[@victorleonc]

Wow ❤ amazing duo !!!

[@MDS31415]

This guy believes in marriage counseling and is on his 3rd marriage. Hmmm He is simply to far removed from reality of the US situation, he is in Mexico. They are 30 years behind our problems…

[@jsbrads1]

He moved down there about 2000, and he started counseling before he moved. Tho you could be right, he might be more proficient in counseling older married people and get confused if he actually tried to counsel a Gen Zer couple, but so would I as they started throwing aroung the baby slang, no cap 😂

[@chriswhinery925]

He also admits himself he doesn't use social media at all, which is a big part of young people's lives, so how can he possibly understand what their situation is?

[@taxi9554]

I did read his book after my divorce. It did help me to wake up….it is good to understand your own behaviour. So seems like he also learned from his mistakes?

[@MDS31415]

@ he seems like a good guy just behind on the reality of 20 somethings and teens

[@rickroller420]

The problem with his book, which I’ve read, is that he blames men a lot and boils down to “if your wife doesn’t love you it’s because you aren’t being a man” The problem with this is it blames the man, which is valid because there’s too many men who are simps and are seeking the approval of women. But there are plenty of men who are confident, lead, have resources, and yet their wives still don’t respect them or meet the needs of the husband. Part of the fault is men, but in these situations it’s entirely the woman’s fault because she has unrealistic expectations or she simply doesn’t know her role as a wife (learn to follow, support the husband, and don’t give in to temptation and illogical thinking when you think you are losing attraction to your man) It’s your responsibility to pick a woman who doesn’t have red flags, as well as taking responsibility when it’s your fault. Be a man and use your man brain to recognize when you’re being sub optimal.

[@Baptized_in_Fire.]

In Shaivism, Shiva (God) is the consciousness, and Shakti (goddess) is the energy that moves it. The man is supposed to have vision and direction and will, the woman is supposed to assist him with creating his vision. Any other dynamic is outside of natural law and will cause problems, one way or another. Either for the individuals, or society. These are ancient concepts.

[@MegaAvalonn]

Dr. Robert Glover came across as too much of a nice guy to me. Always assuming that both men and women go through similar struggles when it comes to dating. Giving the women the benefit of the doubt for only chasing the hottest guys, because after all, us men only chase the hottest women, right? As someone who has a lot of in depth experience with the dating apps, I can confirm, that women and their pickiness is 100% to blame. Men, on the other hand, are a lot more flexible.

[@chriswhinery925]

The data from the dating apps themselves confirm it, women only swipe right on 10-20% of the men, while men swipe right on roughly 50% of the women. The idea that men and women are at all comparable on that particular metric is ridiculous, there is literally zero data suggesting that, ALL of the data is in the opposite direction.

[@johnbrown1867]

Hm even has it in his guide, the not people category.

[@Alis_volat_propiis]

1:23:13 that is happy wife happy life as a direct example. Her: falsely accuses him. Him: I have to accept that she did this and do what makes her happy (more secure) in this moment. Her: now responding more openly because she has her immediate reaction met with something that makes her feel better. She should learn how to be a adult and walk away from a situation when emotional and re-engage when she is more clear minded. She is emotionally abusing him.

[@dmr87]

Love this, more please. And thanks!

[@TheStoicNinja]

I don't believe I fell asleep 🥲 I was really looking forward to this one

[@Brent-z2s]

That path was always hard but not impossible. My dad was a good basketball 🏀 player then won bar 🍺 fights then joined the military 🪖 then welded on skyscrapers then trained Clydesdales 🐎 and Started his own business and he always had a lot of women. His younger brother was good looking and worked out but had more women.

[@andrewrenna6724]

@1:07:23 “Well I tried that one time and it didn’t work”. This used to be me until I realized you have to keep trying. The road to becoming the useful guy on the right is not a straight one. You’ll mess up a lot. But you have to keep trying. It’s like a video game. You’ll get a little better on each run. Stack buffs and avoid debuffs and keep playing

[@F.M671]

Yep.

[@travissharon1536]

I wish you would have talked with him about the 12 step group. I'm the guy that kept mentioning the 12 steps Tuesday night. The steps are more than just the short list, I suggest reading the steps part of the big book for letting go of resentments. The sponsorship thing brings a good male mentor, and the groups bring fellowship, especially men's meetings. There are groups like ACA( Adult Children of Alcoholics and dysfunctional families). Almost everyone qualifies for that club.

[@travissharon1536]

Maybe it's my calling to start a new anonymous program. MPA (mobile phones anonymous).

[@MartialistKS]

Any man who has read No More Mr Nice Guy and saw themselves in it somewhat I would suggest the book Running On Empty. My search for understanding why I had "Nice Guy" tendencies and craved approval ended with that book.

[@ndude101]

You should collaborate with Dr. Orion Taraban!

[@ShandoGuardian]

Im at a point where my life is well put together. I have a good job, im in decent shape. Im not great at talking to people but i can do it. The issue i have ia that i have no time. I get up at 6 or 7 and get home at 8 pm. I dont know how to or where to socialize and meet new people.

[@adri3al]

there's a common theme going on with the downing and ostrasizing of ways that some people escape stress and anxiety I've notice. Video Games, TikToks, and Television equals bad no matter what but I see it as ways of peace and escaping everyday BS. Over indulging in it is one thing but using it sparingly is quintessential as a member of the 40+ Club. Having a peace of mind is highly valued in life the more you age. Married with Children, 9-5, and Finance Managment is tiring and jumping on a Game, LEGO, and Reading are my choices to decompress instead of the Strip Club, Drinking, and Smoking. 😌

[@guestdj6665]

I find the idea of a relationship counselor on their 3rd marriage to have the same red flags as a plumber without a working toilet in their house.

[@BattletoDeath]

Maybe its more like, the plumber has replaced his toilet or sink three times. Which might means, he knows how to replace em, but not how to maintain them.

[@andrewmontoya5617]

Men from all generations gathering together to figure out our new environments and women. Just like ol times bois, B.C. & A.D.

[@10raystube]

Glover is over 5’11”. Being tall helps a great deal. Was in a pool hall with a buddy from work and the girls came up him overwhelming. Height matters.

[@M-iy4tf]

I’ve read a few of the Glovers books and consumed a lot of his online content. I don’t get much out of his work.

[@jonihonkala1193]

Then you should understand he is A class grifter.

[@M-iy4tf]

@ unfortunately

[@nograves456]

Much love math!

[@Humdrum_Conundrum_Am_i]

16:46 Seeking approval is mommy issues.. I've been working through mine. It's just from not getting enough validation even when you were doing good. The nice guy thing, that's pretty easy they don't know how to fight. Especially a big guy because they don't really know how to fight and they don't know emotional stability so they're scared of themselves.

[@kylethefreeman]

In 1 week we got a new video, a live Q&A, and a live interview. Our cup runneth over.

[@kino-en]

hoemath is so based

[@Narwaro]

Wow, youre 40?! I knew you probably werent 22 anymore, but I wouldve given you 28-32 max. Millenials are really ageing like wine and zoomers like milk xD

[@asura8495]

all you see of him is his voice and his hands tho

[@Narwaro]

@ But that can tell you a lot. When you see a woman at the bar she may wear a full face of makeup but her hands dont lie

[@p382742937423y4]

Thanks

[@_BirdOfGoodOmen]

​@@asura8495yep. Voice is a funny thing. Look up some interviews of R. Crumb in his 70s or 80s and he still sounds like, say, a 30 something

[@mickeyc2137]

I thought he was around 35-40

[@RyanPatrickFlanagan]

Starting around the 1:24:00 mark - The Doctor starts talking about FOMO - which I thought was fantastic. In a strange way it might actually be a good idea for our society to start separating the genders more often and in different types of ways. Just a thought. That way we can appreciate each other when we do cross paths. Not sure how that can be done though on a societal wide basis. Food for thought.

[@businessfools]

Smart individuals outsource what they can’t do.

[@Roan.bot.]

Gen Z here. I still don’t really know how to be a ladies man but the thing that kept me from social isolation was having in person hobbies. I got into playing Magic: The Gathering at my local game store and it been 5 years now. I don’t go as regularly do to more responsibilities at work but I’m well known there and have a lot of friends I made along the way. Sometimes we travel and go to competitions together. Some of them are married some aren’t, one recently got engaged. I actually feel MORE isolated going into the club scene. Maybe it’s because I don’t have the tools to get what I ant out of it but I’m less drained and more myself when I’m playing Magic: The Gathering or even around the kind of people I meet when I am where as I don’t really like the kind of people I meet going out. I also have a good bit of camaraderie in my life because I’m in the military and I actually get decent pay compared to other people my age without a college degree.

[@cavemantero]

if you can make friends you can get a girlfriend...build a relationship don't date to 'find' a relationship...these b00mers are out of touch don't listen to their advice...they are why society is where its at and most of the women are ruining themselves on tinder...all this 'nice guy' etc is bullsht just work on yourself and build a foundation...that's where this guy fails he wants you to fail to keep his SS payments and pension payments so he can live in Mexico while the rest of us can barely afford to pay rent

[@redpillsatori3020]

Awesome collab

[@jimdandy8996]

It seems like Glover's MO is to give little slights and backhanded compliments throughout this.

[@jsbrads1]

So you are saying 👩‍🦱 he understands women? 😅

[@michaelsorensen7567]

From my understanding he's trying to point out flaws in light-hearted or oblique ways

[@youngbo13]

Great show.

[@billyte1265]

Omnivore's Dillmma is one of my favorite books. Great one!

[@DrPooks]

I should go back and read it to see how it holds up,

[@Humdrum_Conundrum_Am_i]

16:45 I also have this weird gift / curse I can answer rhetorical questions. It annoys me too... Like sometimes questions I didn't even know I knew the answer to until it was asked I don't know what to call that 🤷

[@andrewazouz3654]

Glover. The goat!

[@KevinHastings-o7s]

Serious question here: When are we going to EDUCATE WOMEN on how to find their own “on” button for nice guys? Half the reason we go too far as nice guys is women don’t respond early on. If women saw what we had to offer we would not need to be such simps later on. Answer me this? Why is it up to these men to change?

[@ramalamadingdongmesongs982]

Chris Williamson talks about this. Women are taught that they are perfect as they are and the world is bad/wrong. Men are taught that they must improve or grow and that the world is not malleable but a crucible to forge their masculinity. It's bullshit but it is what it is.

[@ViaConDias]

His wife accusing him of something he didn't do and him solving that problem by changing his behavior to please her sound a lot like a very classic manipulation technique, aka. a toxic relationship. She should sit him down and express to him that she does not feel very connected to him and then he should offer to take her away for a weekend where they could connect and talk about why she feels this way. Yes, I have studied psychology for 30 years with a specific interest in 3 cluster B personality disorders (borderline, narcissism, anti-social ( psychopathy))

[@parkerstoltz8995]

The longer I watched, the more Dr. Glover seemed like a nice guy. Stick to David Goggins.

[@user-pr7pd9wd5b]

yeah go for a barefoot jog on spiky rocks with a weight vest on until you collapse. super productive stuff.

[@lucasperson342]

Why Goggins?

[@circasurvive9891]

​@lucasperson342 prolly cause more men find "Action" & overcoming physical limitations more appealing as a structure to change…men just happen to be more reactive than proactive

[@Dave-um7mw]

Love or security or connection. Going to try this.

[@miagasparovic3689]

1:15:40 I've been that woman, but I've also been with men who do it. It just comes down to not wanting to work on yourself.

[@kinanisam4345]

Although I did not like the rude interruptions from Glover as it disrupted the flow, I enjoyed the conversation.

[@marcosbribiesca1851]

How to socialize for Gen Z…bible studies, running groups, professional networking groups, and athletic clubs.

[@hailLordhale]

Lost my job and changed careers in the last year for “making a girl uncomfortable” with no proof, no one cared what I had to say, didn’t matter. But I’m too poor to sue, 😂

[@hailLordhale]

Also I live in northern Colorado :X

[@gigamaxextra]

Women like to win but they love a man who won't lose to them.

[@Humdrum_Conundrum_Am_i]

10:08 is the government wants people dependent on the system because people are not likely to oppose a system they are dependent on for their overall survival and well being. Especially if they don't have a strong education or know how to hunt or fish or camp or fight.

[@Humdrum_Conundrum_Am_i]

❤

[@Humdrum_Conundrum_Am_i]

No they don't get taught how to start a business or how to set up business structure and they sign their souls away to corporate contracts because people will make concessions of of their morals the sign a contract their subconscious is locked to that contract and they make decisions without thinking about it because it's their job and they dissociate.... 🤷

[@Humdrum_Conundrum_Am_i]

12:12 personally. 44 I've been single for a couple years is it on this working on me mission so whatever but starting to get really lonely. Be nice to have someone to snuggle with. Go on a road trip or two. Maybe you know have a couple jam sessions if we play the same kind of music ? 🎶

[@crowsbridge]

good talk

[@The2012Aceman]

In any relationship the person in power is the person who cares less.

[@cavemantero]

race to the bottom yes??...good luck with that

[@johnbrown1867]

Yup I've seen this in my own relationships. You can feel the dynamics shift and the attraction lost and the uptick in disrespect. Walk away and get the power back, then have the i miss you messages coming in a month later, it's sad.

[@maxpaws3977]

Can a guy aged 37 still get young women attracted to him (if he was good looking when he was aged 19 - 25 years old) or looks declined to much?

[@theninjaofmusic]

As long as you're in good physical shape women tend to find men more attractive as they age especially in that mid to late 30's.

[@jrd33]

Sure, it's all about the total package (looks + personality + experience etc). But it's going to get harder the older you get and most high value women will avoid men twice their age unless it's all about the money/status for them.

[@FedPut]

if you're tall there will be some, but don't get attached because they are just playing

[@russellheyns1846]

Well we had BoyScouts as a male initiation, but that wasn’t okay, was it?

[@Rishachino]

Timestamps would be helpful tbh

[@jsmith108]

I love Dr Glover. No More Mr Nice Guy is the only self help book thay actually helps. I want to know his diet and exercise routine, hes in great shape for being near 70.

[@michaelsorensen7567]

It may not work for you. That's part of developing mastery, right? Figuring out what works for you instead of copying someone else that has different genes and circumstances?

[@cavemantero]

the 'nice guy' is a farsical entity for those who fail in the rigged system...aka...YOUR FAULT

[@Mdjagg]

How does the same guy say "we're not wired for monogamous relationships" and then say "sleeping with a new woman every night isnt fulfilling". We're obviously wired for pair bonding. There isnt a single person ive ever met who was hapoy and fulfilled from casual throw away relationships. Zero. This guy is bumbling through this interview, just like his relationships.

[@pineberry212]

I just wanna say, this was a good conversation to listen to, but the thing you both were talking about, good same sex friendships, there is a word and feeling that isnt taught to men, its called Platonic love. It took me years after becoming an adult to realize what that feeling is. Once you can grasp what that feeling is, and differentiate it from romantic love and lust, it can be a powerful tool. I've figured out how to apply it to other people who i care about, and it makes stronger friendships. Edit: since KZbin decided to shadowban my sub comments, I just wanna say, just knowing the concept is different from applying it. And I'll say it for the bitter guys who like to assume, same sex friendships is the main topic I'm conveying. Though I'm curious what makes you so bitter.

[@circasurvive9891]

Back then, men had more of that when they WEREN'T policed about "Locker Room Talk". Regardless of whether it's good or bad, it seems like women decided to ACTIVELY disrupt men from a young age in order to prevent another patriarchal uprising…to my knowledge, the boys scouts have been forced to be inclusive & let girls in BUT the girls scouts are still ALL Female (heard from Better Bachelor years back but never confirmed personally)

[@brandyrazo9608]

@@circasurvive9891 Men are rude regardless, we don’t need to police them. It would be a waste of time.

[@true_plays_games]

You think men aren’t familiar with this concept? Really? Give me a break 😂 Women never know when to end with the commentary.

[@ScottyBennitone]

what the hell is this comment? men and women cant be true platonic friends, so irrelevant.

[@pineberry212]

@@true_plays_games Just because you're familiar with the concept doesn't mean you understand it. What do women have to do with this? Why are you so bitter?

[@MrTreework]

58:00 thats awesome advice

[@lupobouguereau8777]

The description of The Peter Pan man is false , the idea of being useful is subjective , useful to who ? As to being comfortable , a strong man will fight for his comfort whether he`s married or single . We are all just individual trees in this great forest of life and none is greater than the other , some thrive on experiences while others prefer a quieter life . Mate selection is the biggest problem facing society today , my suggestion would be all couples go through a year of weekly marriage counselling after the engagement and before they get hitched .

[@jrd33]

"We are all just individual trees in this great forest of life and none is greater than the other" -- if you really believe that, you are a fool or an idiot. Every time we select from a group of people, we are evaluating their value. Job interviews, dating, sports teams, competitions are all about ranking people within a domain and identifying the best based on some criteria.

[@lupobouguereau8777]

@@jrd33 I guess I`m a fool or an idiot , because I don`t get the point your trying to make . Of course we`re being evaluated , just as we evaluate others with every interaction . As for usefulness that is also a two way street , e.g ` The juice isn`t worth the squeeze ` . Life is to short to conform to other peoples expectations , live your best life and die content .

[@jrd33]

@@lupobouguereau8777 Apologies for my tone. I can see no grounds to support your claim that no person is greater than another; indeed, all my experience is counter to that. History records the people whose impact has been greater and ignores the many more whose impact has been lesser. 'Useful' is certainly context dependent, but we live in a culture where some types of 'useful' are consistently ranked higher than others.

[@timkunkel5431]

Good stuff, Chet. Thank you.

[@johnbrown1867]

Wow only 4 out of 5 comments removed this time, guess im getting better at beating the algo. You would think very bland, non derogatory comments wouldnt be removed. The censorship is getting out of hand in these spaces.

[@markh7004]

I'm kinda tired of how every men's advocate refers to "evolutionary behaviors". Why can't we, since most of us are Christian, talk about the way that God commanded us to live through the Bible?

[@GypsyHarlow]

Because nature is an excuse when responsibility fails.

[@billowspillow]

You’re in the wrong spaces if that’s what you want. There’s no shortage of men’s guidance from the Christian perspective; these guys won’t do that (and honestly will always therefore be missing something).

[@markh7004]

@@billowspillow The problem with this so-called "evolutionary psychology" is that there is no solution to the problems between men and women. We can spin round and round saying this is why women do these horrible things, but then what? What is the solution when this is what we have evolved to? There is none. The problems we men are having with women is that we men are not able to use our rightful position of authority to put the women in their proper place. We are handcuffed by laws imposed on us, which come from very evil persons who's agenda is to destroy not only White families, but to eliminate our race. Evolutionary psychology is like talking about what color the seatbelts are, as the reason your car won't move, when the problem is there is no drivetrain. God made men and women to fulfill very different roles, and when one gender is being told those rules are "oppressive", and that they 'deserve' to live by the rules of the other gender. That's where the problem lies. We're not solving anything by pretending that evolutionary psychology is how we got here and will somehow solve our problems. There were no problems with our culture, no problems with the dynamics between men and women when we were a predominantly Christian nation. Men were able to, if necessary, force women into compliance of adhering to their gender roles. It's atheism under the guise of evolution that led to the mess we're in.

[@robertblume2951]

Well what God commands is that we acknowledge our sinful nature and fight against it. The evolutionary behaviours they are talking about are our sin nature that wants us to act like beasts in rebellion to God's commands.

[@jrd33]

Because not everyone on Earth was raised a Christian, but we are all the result of evolution. If you want advice on how to live as a Christian, I am sure there are many channels hosted by Christians which talk about this. I imagine most MRAs are not well schooled in Christian doctrine and teachings so they are hardly qualified to comment of the subject, are they? Even Jordan Peterson, who talks about Christian values a lot, catches criticism from Christians because they don't see him as a true Christian (while his atheist followers often hate him talking about Christianity).

[@fattyjaybird7505]

Sorry, dudes got it backwards its not fathers that aren't around or don't piss off women. I've seen that theres a disconnect from loving households where ideals like love and respect. Basically, marrying your friend, is in cultural opposition to feminist ideals propose that women can and should do better, regardless of the relationship. The ability to just toss the relationship aside to seek something better is paramount to the relationship with another human, no matter how much they care or do for the women. " Go and get yours because you can" boss girl mentality. Which they can do because they're women, but.... most will eventually realize that they seek the mutual friendship that they've disregarded because of social stigma and appeal to the hive.

[@ThomasBuchwinkler487]

I love the audio book "No more Mr nice Guy" Awesome !

[@true_plays_games]

Imma be honest this guy does nothing for me and will probably lose you followers. Edit: I love your videos but this one was miss for *me*

[@thepunisherxxx6804]

I sort of agree. Doctorate in "Marriage counseling" lol. Hoe Math resonates because he truly understands, he knows how to convey ideas very well, break things down well. A big part of teaching is knowing how to present the info well and he does that better than anyone else. He's leagues beyond this guy despite his age, history, and silly title. I've found in general most things are pretty easy to learn if you're learning the right way through good educational content that's crafted well. Most people and books overly complicate or convey ideas very poorly.

[@kingofpain5866]

Marriage counselor that can't manage to keep 3 marriages together, I think I see the issue. My finger is hovering above the unfollow.🤔

[@thepunisherxxx6804]

@@kingofpain5866 IDK about unfollowing, I think Hoe Math has great insight, I just don't think he realizes his takes are way easier to digest and more respected than these other people he brings on. None of them have the online following he does, and that's for good reason. Rollo Tomassi is very similar to this councilor for different reasons. He's all red pill/don't get married/spin plates with lots of women at once, yet hes been married for 20 years, not practicing what he preaches. Some old goober grifter just pandering to a niche audience of frustrated men, like 99% of the red pill creators.

[@mariosofar7487]

@@kingofpain5866sheesh… be more fickle and whiney. That’s the key 👌

[@MongooseTacticool]

You know you can learn something from people without writing off HM for talking to them, right?

[@Mkaltered]

This guy needs a female counterpart to coach the females most of this would benefit them if they heard it from a girl the guys get it but girls aren’t even hearing this anywhere It would be nice if both sides of the equation balance It takes 2

[@shadowmist4111]

What is funny is that Mr. Glover is trying to give advice about women and fled to Mexico and married a Mexican woman.... This man is a sub 5 and should tell you everything you need to know.

[@timothyblazer1749]

Yet again, GenX is forgotten 😃

[@Vibe_Enjoyer]

still giving a heck about 3d women in current year +9

[@seoulc]

Love Robert! Ive read the book. Its ALL mens fault. We really have to change our focus and CHANGE OUR PURCHASING HABITS! Buy to build your skills and abilities. Commit to learning primary and secondary skill. Practice talking to women and asking them questions WITHOUT any expectation. Treat it like a skill... and develop standards for your relationships... Any and all relationships

[@JJG369]

Sounds like it’s all ur fault cause none of what u say describes me

[@johnbrown1867]

The problem I find is that a lot of men don't have the same interests as women. There was a reason men used to socialize with men, and women would socialize with women historically. You would have a dinner and the men would go off by themselves and talk about their interests and women would go off by themselves to talk about their interests. I think the whole were the same mentality has really handcuffed modern society. I can chat socially with women, but don't know many that are interested in sports, finances, economics, hell we don't even have the same style of humor. Most of the time I'm just bored and people think that I'm quiet cause I'm shy. Meanwhile my brain is screaming at me, I need stimulation.

[@rylandscott7541]

Great collab, awesome work guys!

[@AvocadoAtrocity]

19:10 "There is no such thing as luck, just opportunity meeting preparedness." 🧘‍♂️

[@algorithmgeneratedanimegir1286]

There absolutely is luck. You don't spawn opportunities into being with your "mind's eye" or whatever. You chance upon them. You can be as prepared as you possibly can be, that won't make opportunities fall into your lap.

[@linus8247]

1:38:18

[@yourfavoriteentertainment]

I can't get a job with a degree. Graduated fro m college 5 years ago. Useless. I can get plenty of jobs that don't require a degree but not one that utilizes my degree.