Hogwarts Gets Audited Again Again Again

[@blank-xh7qo]

I swear Hogwarts just gets more and more dangerous every time it's audited.

[@EEEEEEEE]

E

[@JiggyHeadphones]

Fr

[@monkeylord1518]

They're sending a message to the auditors: GFYS

[@mhamedaourdou885]

At least they have hand rails 😂😂😂

[@cat_sandwich]

#relatable 🗿

[@venomshot2815]

'Crying isn't the only reason she got her name' genius

[@doublebrothers1775]

That's the whole reason I'm here. I wanted to see if someone else enjoyed that land as much as I did.

[@Goofyguy657]

​@@doublebrothers1775💀💀💀

[@gentle285]

@@doublebrothers1775 Please explain? Land as butt?

[@jayfitzgerald9846]

@@gentle285, "Moaning Myrtle" was her nickname

[@Sea_Leech]

​@@jayfitzgerald9846lmao i didn know either

[@reddragonminecraftmodsandm4366]

“I think the most incredible magic of all is how you’re still open.” Dumbledore: “I agree, obliviate is quite the incredible little spell.”

[@МирославСтойчев-ю4к]

😂😂😂😂

[@JaneXemylixa]

That's literally what happens in School in Carmarthen (spoilers lol). They're about to get closed down by the English and then they're like "ah yeah, we can just MiB it all away" and they do

[@robertagren9360]

It just works

[@talieclandestine9155]

Remember, this guy is immune to Jedi force powers. 😂

[@AzraelThanatos]

@@talieclandestine9155 Well, they've got to be feeding the dementors something...

[@markmickman]

The reason he has to keep going back to Hogwarts is because the Headmaster keeps using Obliviate on him

[@Aaa-vp6ug]

Not him, it’s lower tier magic than the Jedi’s force powers. Probably uses it on the person sending him to do audits

[@santefia]

That probably right

[@thenugget1991]

OBLIVIATE! -Dumbledoor said calmly

[@Aaa-vp6ug]

@@thenugget1991 “What does that do? Give me Amnesia? It’s just been a headache, not even remotely on YOUR level.”- Audit Man

[@priscillajimenez27]

I'm your 4.1K

[@DerpyMemeLord]

Bro just changed my entire perspective on "Moaning Murtyle"

[@DeadPerfection]

_Oh no._

[@moonshadow5662]

Lol

[@thesticknodesgamer2784]

I know

[@raerohan4241]

She's 11.

[@captainacorn2088]

Technically, she died in 1943, and the book takes place in 1992-1993, so……

[@Ram99Official]

You gotta hand it to them, the students and teachers are somehow fine with all the life threatening hazards and have managed to be the most successful wizarding school worldwide. It does make me wonder, if this is the best one, what the hell does the worst one do?

[@JonesCrimson]

Theres a key and peele sketch about that.

[@Nerdnumberone]

The Wizarding world is really fucked up. They are both socially and technologically backwards, cruel to prisoners to an extent that private prisons look enlightened, and completely unconcerned with safety. Rape drugs are commercially available to children. The most popular sport involves self-propelled murder-rocks. Soul-devouring monsters are used for execution. Even their writing devices are shit. Ink and quill are horribly inferior to a modern ball-point pen. Sure they have magical self-inking quills, but those are expensive luxuries beyond the reach of many.

[@arx3516]

They TELL you that they are the best wizardry school, but they aren't. The best sorcery school is the "Al-Shaytan" monastery located in the depth of the arabian desert. And while they are a pagan cult that utilises slaves, practices necromancy, demonic summonings and human sacrifices, they are still the best magic schools in the world in terms of academic success and 12 places above Hogwarts in student/teacher safety ranking. No student or teacher ever got killed or wounded in an accident in the last 500 years at the Al-Shaytan monastery.

[@antonioarreola3097]

​@@JonesCrimsonNo, that's just an inner city school. It's STILL not the worst.

[@sixtakefives5325]

I’d like to think that the ‘worse’ magic schools are just more normal compared to the muggle world

[@MrTimPL]

"Gringott is safest place on the planet. Maybe besides Hogwarts" - Hagrid

[@shoootme]

God we must live on a death world if that's the case.

[@captainacorn2088]

Well, Gringotts DID get their own Audit LoL@@shoootme

[@jessilynallendilla5014]

@@captainacorn2088 Gringotts has that OSHA violating roller coaster ride to the vaults the lack of safety precautions with said vaults oh and the giant dragon and with Hogwarts...

[@Norinia]

Gringotts gets broken into every few years? Hogwarts has a serial killer on the loose every year/ every other year.

[@AmethystEyes]

⁠@@jessilynallendilla5014”OSHA-violating” 😂🤣

[@KhaosGorvin]

I feel he could make 5 more audits on Hogwards and we wouldn't complain, since not only are they hilarious, Jacson can probably find enough material to spare. And yet every kid wants to go to the magical death trap.

[@BlueGangsta1958]

Not me thank you very much, I only ever wanted the powers and then get homeschooled

[@Anonymous-dy1up]

It's only a death trap when Harry's around. Honestly, I think the years before and after he went to Hogwarts were pretty uneventful.

[@Tinyme2468]

2 people have died at Hogwarts, Myrtil and Quirinus

[@Anonymous-dy1up]

@@Tinyme2468 Quirius died because of Harry and Myrtle died about twenty years before that.

[@Tinyme2468]

@@Anonymous-dy1up actually it is 50 years shown by the diary and I know but still 2 deaths have happened, maybe there was more we didn't know

[@mightyom5576]

The way of saying of course, after deducting points and giving them back is top-tier sarcasm.

[@happilyhadesbound]

On the candles: in the movies they originally just put,, real candles on strings. Somehow, no one had forseen the flame would burn through the string. I like to imagine it was *raining* candles

[@hypno_smh]

bro that impression of "nearly headless" killed me

[@Swovy]

“I think the most incredible magic of all is how your still open” That was perfect 😂

[@tommyvandale7764]

I swear, Myrtle looks like Harry Potter wearing a wig

[@myarmsrgone]

Someone used the gender bend curse on harry

[@Wannabe-Gaming-Queen]

THATS WHAT IM SAYING

[@priscillayg]

Yes, I was thinking the same thing

[@BrightLord1823]

​@@myarmsrgone Japanese Harry Potter moment

[@TRG_R17]

Reply 5, don't expose me!

[@ericoviche]

“I don’t think crying is the only reason she got her nickname” 💀💀💀

[@MONKEYDZETS]

Im dead lol

[@Dimensional_Duck]

@@MONKEYDZETS nah, SHE'S dead.

[@arizzist]

Jackson is making us think deeper about these shows man

[@waterunderthebridge2291]

Hogwarts: "we encourage students to participate in a deadly tournament fighting dragons and mermaid" Also Hogwarts: "you need your family approval for going to nearest village"

[@timbo3286]

One thing though the permission for Hogsmead had to be given for UNDERAGE students. Entry into the tournament was restricted to people of age 17 and above (well unless you had a death eater posing as the DADA teacher trying to do you in by entering you into the tournament against your will and completely ignoring the fact that you are underage and would normally require parental consent for that and then confounding the goblet to ensure your name comes out of it. But really how likely is THAT? What do you mean this is what happened to Harry in GoF? What are the odds?), legal adults in the wizarding world(who also wouldn't need parental consent anymore to visit the village i presume)

[@TheOGDog.]

Bro really took “moaning” Myrtle to the next level💀

[@KaityKat117]

I'm sure he's already done it, but I need to see him commending then for "at least having handrails on your MOVING STAIRCASES"

[@impocop2609]

Don’t let him see the Grand Staircase.

[@swordbrethrenmordred1230]

The stairs do have handrails thou.

[@erikstone2321]

@swordbrethrenmordred1230 After the terrible accident of 1891!

[@unc54]

He already saw it in the first video

[@rabiabasri2747]

He has another video on those too😂

[@einflinkeswiesel2695]

On the set of the first movie, the candles were actually real candles hanging from the ceiling with wire that was edited out. Not only did the wax drop down on the actors but the heat also made the food which was also real, moldy within hours and it smelled horribly. That's why in the later movies, the food was artificial and the candles CGI

[@englishdragon4198]

I can’t believe I didn’t cotton onto “moaning myrtle” until you made that joke

[@shockwavecg]

I never thought about that. Why do they have no military force?

[@whyfi2749]

I like how Mason has his investigative Crocs and socks on

[@_bacon]

"Crying isnt the only reason she got her name." I audibly gasped cause that caught me off guard. 💀

[@Chrissmth]

Damn. I never thought about anyone else but the 10 professors and students wanting to fight evil 😂. Now I gotta watch Harry Potter

[@BuiHieuDong]

Wroking in a haunted place can be both terrifying and intruging at the same time, imagine how many more ghost friends you can make there while working if you're active enough.

[@CountLurchalot]

Ahh can’t keep a good safety audit down. These are great as always jackson

[@DEMARCUSTHENINTH]

Idk why but when he says "Nearly headless?How can you be nearly headless?"it's just so funny I'm dying💀💀💀💀

[@MiaDavis-yi3zm]

Oh my god you forgot the chamber of secrets you need to inspect that because I definitely ain't safe😅

[@bean1792]

And going in the forest for detention, ALONE.

[@joshbras9400]

HOGWARTS! Where you learn more surviving the halls then you do in the classrooms

[@thiagoecb]

Mason should make a safety audit of Other World in Dragon Ball. The Snake Way could use some handrails

[@hadensnodgrass3472]

This had me cracking up.

[@AGrayPhantom]

The last time a government official tried to shut down Hogwarts she got chased off by a herd of centaurs.

[@plushskitz2119]

Mason has been to Hogwarts so many times they just had to reserve a room for him since it’s practically his second home lol

[@Ikirus]

The nearly headless's head died by people trying to behead him with a blunt axe ,it took 45 tries and at the end his head wasn't completely off

[@donaldn5798]

I'm surprised kids haven't died just trying to traverse the school

[@BlueGangsta1958]

Bet some of them did but they were puffs and claws so nobody cared

[@donaldn5798]

@@BlueGangsta1958 rip

[@meganofsherwood3665]

I dunno. Any time something _really_ serious happens, parents and the board of trustees show up (Chamber of Secrets, that one time the Slytherin captain got shoved in the vanishing cabinet by Fred & George...). It seems to be more of a "Magic is dangerous, kids learning to use magic is dangerous, at least this way they're supervised and we can reverse 90% of whatever they do to themselves or each other". What was it Hagrid said? "You expect accidents, a bunch of underage wizards all crowded together..." But Hogwarts seems to take an actual death or irreversible injury much more seriously (albeit still not seriously enough)

[@dfquartzidn6151]

@donaldn5798 that’s what almost happened in the beginning of Hogwarts Legacy Lmao

[@TRG_R17]

Reply 5, they keep a protected spell on them

[@serpentartist1348]

As someone who casually watched Somerton’s videos (though unfortunately dodged the more misogynistic ones, otherwise I would have stopped watching his channel a lot earlier) thank you so much for making this video. Like, it’s really sad that I watched and often enjoyed the videos of a plagiarist and misogynist, but I’m really glad you spoke out about it. Also the Pheonix Wright bit was brilliant It almost goes without saying, because other people who know more will have put it better, but whole video is brilliant really, which is a lot considering its run time. I can’t imagine how much work you and your editor must put in to make something this well put together and thoroughly researched, but thank you so much for doing it

[@uniball5667]

The idea of an interdimensional Safety Auditor is hilarious

[@Batsyblu]

do a safety audit on camp half blood, those guys will blow your mind

[@andpeg]

If it’s a miracle Hogwarts is still open, then I can’t imagine what he’d say about camp half blood or even camp Jupiter

[@BenCos2018]

​@@andpeglol agreed

[@Akursedtime]

Dumbledore claiming Hogwarts is completely safe and then in the same speech warning the students to not go to specific areas is all too funny.

[@ewill3435]

A wizard's greatest spell; Lobbying.

[@chanachon56]

Petition for a HP spin off movie where we follow Mason as he does the safety audit(s)

[@nintenjoe9022]

We know *exactly* how the Troll got into the school. It was Quirrel’s addition to the defence of the Philosopher’s Stone. He deliberately let it out so that he could attempt to steal it early in the year, but Snape was onto him from the start. They left it out of the movie for time reasons, same as the potion puzzle from Snape.

[@samolygo]

was looking for this comment

[@GeoEkthos]

The mosning myrtle bit had me dying😂😂.

[@williamzhou6703]

The troll was actually investigated by snape and the other guardians of the philosophers stone

[@eshabub4958]

This truly could be a 100 part series.

[@alligatorstats]

If there was any group to figure out how to have sex with ghosts it'd be the wizards

[@Wote89]

Only if the bards got distracted before they got around to there.

[@timonobel615]

The reason the troll wasn't investigated is because Dumbledore knew who let in there

[@neopolitan7437]

The moaning myrtle part made me choke, that is top tier comedy

[@XCookieEaterX]

The fact that they said hogwarts was the most safest place in the wizarding world(when Dumbledore was still alive) but yet bad things keep happening to them there.

[@Anonymous.Watcher]

Don’t tell him about the school in the USA

[@maggie6152]

Our wizards have wands AND guns!

[@connortg5]

@@maggie6152 that explains why voldemort stayed in england

[@Orange-inkling]

Wait what there’s one in the USA what about Australia

[@erikstone2321]

@Pikachu0l Nobody wants to hear “G’day mate!” As they obliviate someone 🤣 Or “The Australian School of Witchcraft and Wizardry lives by the 3 q’s! Quiddie, Quiddie, Quiddie!”

[@feuerling]

​@@Orange-inkling one of the teachers is a giant spider

[@gwoniemint6274]

Okay but he's a little too accurate 💀😭

[@zanesmith8875]

Right? 😅😂

[@LittleKrieg]

"Let me tell you the secret of how we're still open, ok ready? Bribing government officials"

[@yuriwk7649]

I literally just want to watch all of these kind of videos i need a playlist 😂

[@Superking_gaming]

“I think the most incredible magic is how your still open” is the best line I’ve heard all day

[@kiritokaguya9180]

We need more!

[@satsujin-shathewitchkingof6185]

When you're the only school in the Kingdom, the standards tend to be a bit lower

[@woodrobin]

The thing with the troll actually makes sense: the Defence Against the Dark Arts instructor *was* tasked with finding out how a troll got past the wards. It's just that he was the one who let the troll in in the first place, so of course he sidelined the investigation and never 'found the culprit'.

[@robertjohnston-mp5im]

The real magic of Hogwarts is their team of lawyers

[@wamrainc176]

LMFAO Moaning Myrtle does sound like a title for Corn Movie

[@radiantguy17]

Bro, please do a safety audit on Dracula's Castle from Castlevania

[@Zrtaylor_Foxy]

He should do an Audit on Black Mesa

[@gamemasternintendoo]

Dumbledore:(Obliviates him.) And then you just alter his or hers memories so that they remember doing the audit and finding nothing wrong, and that kids is how you keep yourself out of Azkaban. 😊

[@SarahDuke01]

Never going to look at Moaning Myrtle the same way again 😂

[@johndoenews1642]

The troll was let in by a professor who had an evil snake-man-wizzard-hybrid living on the back of his head, remember?

[@frantisekvrana3902]

I'd bet that the only reason that Hogwarts had 50 years since reported death in Chamber of Secrets is, that whenever someone dies, Dumbledore obliviates everyone of that person's existence. I mean, really, Harry killed Quirrel just last year, yet that is somehow ignored.

[@goat_king587]

Mason: look I'm sorry but have to shut you down Dumbledore: ok but *obliviate* Mason: what were we talking about Dumbledore: Hogwarts got full marks

[@wethefreeproductions]

The real magic of Hogwarts is the illusion that it’s a legitimate magical academy.

[@Mernon4ym6661]

Fun fact: During I think the filming of the first movie, a candle actually fell and nearly hit some actors. So Mason is entitled to question the safety of those

[@idoblenderstuffs]

He should do a safety audit on resident evil

[@The_Fire_Pheonix]

You should do one on camp half-blood from percy jackson

[@batsandrats]

Ok but we need a CHB version of this

[@M0glore]

bro honestly moaning myrtle got her name for a good ass reason😳💀💀💀

[@futurewario9591]

Imagine if he knew about The Triwizard Tournament

[@DavidVandemark]

The moving staircases though!!

[@theplasmawolf]

Fun Fact: the candles were a danger during the first year of filming. They hanged them from the ceiling with very thin wire and the heat of the candles could cause the wire to break. I think eventually they GCI-d them instead.

[@ThatsSmooth]

Terribly relatable (i couldnt think of a decent metaphor)

[@JillInTheBox]

"I think the most incredible magic of all is how you're still open." HONESTLY.

[@irishladdie1500]

Can't wait for "Conductong a safety audit on Hogwart- oh for fuck's sake. This is just a running gag at this point"

[@SomeGuy-kn9yc]

Well clearly there is corruption because even after all of the safety audits on boats nothing has been done, so I must say I'm looking forward to the audit on the safety committee

[@AustiuNoMatterWho]

My favorite shorts creator

[@Dog2009]

When jackson runs out of ideas he audits hogwarts😂😂😂

[@PokemonRatioMinion]

Love your work ❤

[@ØPARØ-FF]

Nearly headless Nearly heardless was amazing 😂😂😂😂 ur are the best

[@orphelliavalire7336]

There is a reason the principal is named DUMBledore

[@GalaxyXPLR]

I'll never get tired of the way he says "Hi I'm Mason" 😂

[@Oyasumi05]

I've never seen or read Harry Potter and I think the lack of context makes these even funnier, like I have no idea what's going but it's hilarious.

[@evernewb2073]

ironically enough the actual cannon answer to that question is Magically Facilitated Theft...basically the school's campus is almost entirely self-maintaining up to and including self-repairing all the damage from all this idiocy so the only thing they really have to do to keep the lights on is maintain a supply line and pay a small staff of teacher and a less visible but similarly sized support staff (this _is_ a boarding school afterall) in reverse order: -staff(support): the support staff are mostly just straight up slaves with a couple of additional not _technically_ enslaved people who have been institutionally prevented from functioning as citizens of their society and relegated to the point where working for room and board in this hazardous hellhole of hormones and politics is legitimately one of the best options they can achieve. -staff(education): while the the teachers _are_ payed it is a token wage: they are primarily there for the various advantages of being part of a TINY group of people with a monopoly on education both technical and social for an entire geographic region of an almost completely insular civilization, each of these teachers have more real power than their head of government and for once the story even shows this being a major point of conflict. frankly they would probably find it insulting if they were to be payed _more_ since that would imply that they lack the skillset to easily make themselves independently wealthy. -supply lines: and finally here is where the "magically facilitated theft" kicks in, while the staffing practices are problematic and the entire support staff could reasonably be considered as being stolen from the primary method of procuring material goods in the school is simply to "conjure" them...which has been directly stated to just straight up teleport in whatever fits the parameters from functionally semi-random sources (there is some geographic correlation but distance is one factor among many)...now you might be starting to see why it is such a mark of shame not to be independently wealthy in the wizarding society. though to be fair most of them prefer a combination of magical automation negating their own upkeep costs and then just accumulating wealth within the family in whatever manner they can currently get away with: stuff as simplistic as "conjuring" is seen as the magical-society equivalent of being caught shopping at thrift stores.

[@thewafflegamer6152]

The reason why they’re not closed is because of magic taxes

[@owenmaleski2203]

Ironically, the inner city magic School from that keye and peele sketch would be less of a safety hazard than Hogwarts

[@kameronmyles2013]

I love these audit videos, woukd love some longer audit vids. Now i gotta go see if a new minecraft vid has been put up by you😂

[@abdulazizrex]

A legend returns!😎

[@alaricshiran9189]

everybody is afraid of Voldemort because you can't kill him with the wand, this is very realistic people would just hide rather than fight till its the last stand, they start to fight only when they have nothing left or no where to run

[@XxDracoMalfoyxX]

“I don’t think cryung is the only way she got her nickname” I gasped so loud-

[@missing_names8001]

Jackson being here confirms that he is a wizard

[@Colonel_Jurten]

A safety inspector video on a hive city would be pretty cool ngl

[@heyviper1238]

"These are not the wizards youre looking for"

[@TheRandomMan001]

I love how this is just turning into talking about the the sheer amount of plot holes in Harry Potter story’s.

[@Shirley_Serious]

My wife and I just rewatched the first movie and that troll scene is so dumb. Like why did Hermione lie about why they were all there? She was crying in the bathroomand the boys knew she didn't know about the troll and went to go warn her, perfectly reasonable thing to do. Honestly that's more on the staff for not checking the bathrooms for stragglers in the first place.

[@BlueGangsta1958]

It really was. I mean it's fair that she doesnt want to grass on them and tell McGonagall they made her cry, but just ... say you had to go for a shit or sth, idk. Way more convincing, too. 100% McGonagall knew it was a lie and just decided to go along with it so she can make friends

[@Romczy]

Harry and Ron should have told McGonagall about Hermione whereabouts in Great Hall rather than going to warn her themselves as students were supposed to go DIRECTLY to their dorms. Both Ron and Harry risked their necks despite considering Hermione unbearable (which she is sometimes with her know-it-all demeanor) therefore it was only fitting for her to repay the favour.

[@diamondmemer9754]

I mean they're wizards, if there's any danger they can just teleport away Wait...