HONESTY | Infertility & motherhood | RawBeautyKristi

[@izabelahblyss]

The fact that she literally said “Let’s say I’m like 33 and I find out that I’m pregnant” she predicted it 🥺❤️❤️❤️ I LOVE YOU congratulations baby ❤️

[@nolagirl7082]

Who’s here after the pregnancy announcement?? I’m soooo happy for her💕💕

[@ebonimom6964]

Me!!!!!!

[@Rayrayray-fv3oo]

🖐

[@andrear27]

👐👌😍

[@DazzleDust08]

I'm in tearssssss 😭😭 I'm so bloody happy for her! 🙌🏻💕 This is her time! Everything happens for a reason X

[@saragarofano9727]

YESSSS

[@xaKristyy]

Watchin it now 16.6.20 and I just wish I could tell the old Kristi not to cry because 2020 is going to be huge for her. ♥️♥️

[@alexarata3839]

Who's here after the announcement? So excited for you!

[@brittanyrangel282]

I know this is an old video. And you’ll probably never see this comment. But I was having a really hard day today with my infertility. I put in the KZbin search box infertility honesty and your video was FIRST. Thank you. I needed your honesty and your venting because I 100% understand and relate. And as much as I hate my day today - I am moving forward because of your video here. Thank you.

[@leighannam8542]

There’s always hope, she just uploaded a vid announcing she’s pregnant. Keep faith and when you least expect it, life might surprise you❤️

[@audiwinn3934]

❤❤❤❤❤❤ I struggled with infertility for years, I gave up..... but kristi just found out she's pregnant, keep your head up bbgirl

[@jenniferrobinette5540]

Ive been married 20 years. We tried and tried. I gave up lost 40 pounds. At 31 found out finally pregant . My daughter is 6 now.. Dont give up...

[@claudiaacosta5313]

Same here... I literally cried because I’m so happy for her.

[@yes.8773]

This video aged well.

[@natalieannex]

Watching this after your pregnancy announcement. I’m so beyond happy for you. I knew you would be a mother one day. 💗👶🏼 what a miracle.

[@Neverending1]

I just visited this video after seeing your special announcement today. 6.15.20. i am a Christian. I believe we go through trials. I have followed you a long time. You and Zach went through these trials and came out on the other side stronger in your marriage. You learned so much about each other through it and you have finally been rewarded with an amazing blessing! I am so happy for you. You both are going to be parents! You spoke it into existence! You said 33 and pregnant and now it's happened and you have all the lessons you learned through it all and will be better parents for it. I am so, so, so happy for you. The body is amazing and miracles happen every day and your day came. Doctor's will say you can't have babies and so on but as you now know that's not always true. Enjoy your miracle honey. I am so happy for you both and you both are so deserving of being parents. Congratulations!

[@STEPANKA]

this video makes me so sad :(. i'm an egg donor and have donated to 5 different couples, and one of women I donated to had PCOS. I feel like donating eggs has given me so much fullfillment to help people who have desperately tried everything to have a child. Seeing your video really brings a tear to my eye. I hope that you find an option out there and can one day have a baby

[@ritaserraa]

+STEPANKA you are such a blessing to those families ... I suffer from infertility as well and this is wonderful of you ... :)

[@audiwinn3934]

2020!!

[@JeSuisDeTexas]

REAL DAD IS GOING TO BE A REAL MOM!!! finally 🥰

[@JenniferGentle88]

If you never become a mom, you will leave a legacy of love for your niece and family, and a huge impact on everyone you have touched through your artistry.

[@normazuniga9385]

80

[@audiwinn3934]

2020 ❤❤❤❤

[@waitwhat3630]

Who's here after the birth of 2020s most loved baby?

[@nolagirl7082]

So glad you kept this video up after all these years. I think it has been very helpful to a lot of women

[@hmamodi1236]

Shes pregnant!!!! Congratulationssss

[@mayvers2311]

I'm crying right now .): you we're put on this earth for youtube. you have left your mark on this world by making videos . you have affected my life so much and I just started watching.! I'm so over weight and I was so depressed but your channel has really affected me! so I'm thanking you right now. you have helped me so much. you are an amazing person.

[@setarehsh3749]

Anyone here after the announcement video?!? ❤️🎉

[@kristahathaway9308]

I just found out today and I just found out she has a million subscribers she's doing good

[@Louisepentland]

Sending loves and hugs and snuggles xxxx

[@Kirstenleah13]

Louise Pentland found this channel today and I love seeing my favourite KZbinr commenting !

[@thriftin_n_flippin851]

I had to come watch this again after your announcement. Kristi, you put into the universe you would be pregnant at 33 and God heard you. Congratulations to you and Zack. I'm so beyond ecstatic for you both🙏❤❤❤

[@jamiestewart1223]

You're comment made me cry! I'm so incredibly happy for her 😍

[@janessamatos7328]

Right! I'm Soo happy for her and Zack. And btw. I notice she posted this Dec 5 2013, and her due date is Dec 5th 2020!!! This is a complete miracle!!!

[@beimkohlehydrat2455]

i am watching this in april 2021, 8 years later. you have been a mommy now for several months and are coming out of the struggles those early months bring with them. what an incredible and long journey it has been and i can only imagine, having watched this video, just *how* much of an upheaval the last year has been.

[@Latere76]

It's never too late. I finally got my miracle at 35 after 8 years of trying. Keeping you in my prayers. Thanks for sharing.

[@Alex-rv8du]

Ok but this was posted on Dec. 5 and her Due Date is Dec. 5😭 GIRL. MIRACLES EXIST😭🤧💖

[@thislittlethingcalledlifea8586]

Good point! I’m so happy for her! 😊💕

[@saratheairhead]

I wish i could go back in time just to tell her that everything will be ok ♥️

[@Purplecherry5]

I'm just sobbing. This is sooo understandable, and you will forever have these feelings probably. It's so okay! It means so much to scroll back through your older videos and see something like this. God, you're so strong and amazing ♡

[@lexig1184]

I stumbled upon this going through your old videos. I ugly cried. Kristi, you are beautiful and amazing! Look how far you’ve come! You are a gem and I’m glad I found you.

[@teridoster5840]

It's like you knew something amazing was happening that brought you to this vid!

[@lexig1184]

Teri Doster I never wanted something more for another human that I’ve never personally met than I wanted Kristi to become a mom! I’m so happy for her. I realize now she had already found out she was pregnant when I came back to and commented on this vid! I’m so happy for Kristi AND Zack! 🥰

[@teridoster5840]

@@lexig1184 absolutely! So true 💜

[@AmyinOslo]

Ooh my gosh my heart breaks for you as I have been in your shoes in every way. I too have PCOS, tried for many years with no luck at all. I honestly gave up and gave in and accepted it and moved on, putting my career and traveling first with my husband. Then.. and through no help from medicine at all we did get two very big surprises and now a mom of two kids (both only 16 months apart). I only tell you to give hope. I know we are all different and our endings are all very different. Though for you, I will keep you so close to my thoughts and hope your days of being called a mom comes soon. I know this is a touchy topic, I promise this comes from my heart and not coming from any place other than good here. Hugs

[@ICantBreathe57]

This video makes me want to cry because you can see how sad she is but I also feel so happy knowing she’s pregnant now!!!!

[@carrieida22]

Just like you feel differently at 26 then u did at 20... you will also feel differently at 33. I had my first at 34 due to infertility and I dont feel like it was too late. After you see your baby for the first time nothing else matters.

[@m.e.a.n.y]

Here after her latest video, the announcement of her pregnancy. Truly, I've never felt so happy for somebody I don't actually know. I teared up.

[@joannafoster5331]

Dear future/PAST Kristi..little did you know...you are the real dad!!!! Im so happy for u guys!!!!!!!!!xoxoxoxo

[@hydie0073]

I can't believe she predicted her pregnancy!! Omg so so happy for you! I done everything for 5 yrs and I forget about it and I got pregnant!!! CONGRATULATIONS 🎊 👶 I love you and you two are going to be amazing parents!! 👶👪

[@LadyTrayce]

I know exactly how you feel! I am 40 and always wanted kids..preferably 4 of them. I can't have kids...I have a lot of medical issues that make it impossible, and make me incapable of being a proper mother so adoption isn't even an appropriate option for me. I've come to terms with it and even love all the time and options me and my husband have being childless. But some nights I just have to have a good sob...part of it is hormones..the old biological clock and part of it is residual sadness. You can come to terms and accept something and it still can make you sad sometimes...it's normal. What you need to realize is that your own life is valuable and not just as an incubator for more life. The love you share with the world, the animals you help, the people you affect on KZbin are all important impacts you leave every day. Kids are wonderful...but are not the end-all, be-all of existance.

[@Enchanteresse_Sif]

Seriously adore the way you worded this comment.

[@StrongWomanJourney]

I am so thankful for your honesty. Just from KZbin, I see you giving so much of yourself to so many people. You will definitely still be here after your body is gone. I would have probably thought that 33 is too late to start having kids when I was 26. I thought that 35 was too late when I was 33. Now that I'm 35 and pregnant with my first, I've read a lot of stories of women over 40 successfully having healthy babies. So many women do not get to a place of happiness and fulfillment before they parent. Kudos to you for getting to that place! Thank you again for keeping it real!

[@MaiLingLemPrettyflower2618]

Soooo stinkin excited for you and congratulations on 1 million subscribers 🥳🙏🏼🕊

[@cresantspoon1204]

You predicted it.. 33.. since you were renovating your new place.. ya know. Might as well add a nursery. this gift.. HAPPY Mothers Day.. Happy Father Day Zack.

[@joannawhitehouse5437]

Oh my heart. I completely 100% feel you . I was never able to Have my own kids either and my nieces and nephew niece are my entire world. I couldn't imagine loving anything or anyone more than I love them. I promise you you will leave a mark on your nieces heart and life.

[@amandahartley2434]

It's like you crawled in my head and took every thought and emotion I have when it comes to being a mom. We have some similar circumstances. I was also diagnosed with PCOS when I was around your age after repeated doctors visits because of my horrible periods. I'm 35 now and still no babies. I have not tried and went through all of the treatments and options as you though. I just kind of left it at " if it's meant to be it will be ". I have one brother who is 6 years younger than me and he had his first child June 29, 2014. It was the BEST day of my life!!!!!!!!! I love that little boy more than life itself!!! His birth made me wonder too, "What am I doing here? I hope they have another child because if they don't he will be all alone in the world at some point because I can't give him any relitives." I'm fine with not being a mom for my own reasons but I almost feel guilty for not having any because I'm not producing grandchildren or nieces and nephews or cousins. And then you see all of your friends having these big happy families and it's like "ok, I feel like I'm doing something wrong by not doing the same". I'm not some big time career oriented woman, I live in a small town in Indiana and I live pay check to pay check so it's not like I don't have the time to raise kids. And then that brings up another subject, I SHOULDN'T have kids because I can't afford them. Wtf does that have to do with anything?? I would find a way if it were to ever happen but then that leads me to, " it's too late, you're 35. You're eggs are old and dried up. You'll be in your 50's when it graduates, and that's not fair to them" Aaaggh! It's a vicious cycle of emotions and thoughts. But I get you. I see where you're coming from because my view is very, very similar. I have no answer and no profound words to make the subject any less painful or frustrating. I guess everyone's legacy is different when they leave the world. I'm not sure what mine will be, I mean I don't even have cats!! Hahaha! ;) I just want you to know, woman to woman, I'm with you, I understand you. I'm just glad I'm not the only one that thinks this way....take care of yourself, I wish you lots of love and happiness....xo

[@dayswithmj104]

I'm there with you. I found you a few years back, during our own journey of TTC. I as well have PCOS. I know your channel right now isn't about that part of your life. But I just recently started watching you. On a whole other level. You make my day with pure laughter when I watch you. Truly Raw. You are a gem.

[@KyleLara1231]

I have watched your videos from when you were making them about TTC. You were such an inspiration to me. It took us three years to get pregnant. We did IVF and it failed the first time. That SUCKED. Talk about losing hope. But here I am...23 weeks pregnant...and never in my life have been happier. I truly do believe that you know every single feeling involved in TTC from hopeful to hopeless. One thing I know for sure is that you are an amazing person, and the best Auntie to that little angel. Forget not leaving your mark on this world. You already left a huge one with me and so many other people, you have no idea

[@savannahstavig84]

Oh my goodness! I’m so happy for you guys!! And I cannot wait for the reaction video, love you guys ❤️😭😘

[@claireeebee]

We love you and are so happy for you 💕💕💕 I've never been happier for someone to have a baby in my life!

[@damned4lifevamp]

When I was little, I had an aunt that couldn't have children because she had gotten cancer. She was like a second mother to me. She passed back in 1995 and I still miss her all the time. She was an all around beautiful person to everyone around her and she would have given me the world if she could. If you never have kids and you think that you won't leave an impression on the world because of it, you are wrong. I understand the two arent quite the same but I'm sure that you will get to spend wonderful days with your neice, and that it will mean the world to her. You talking about your neice reminded me of her and I just wanted to share. I wish you the best.

[@robynm976]

This was uploaded on what is her due date 7 years later.

[@averydavis1943]

Woah!

[@carriekup]

Omg youre right!

[@AprilChristineBrown]

Hi. My Husband and I have been married for 5 years and have had no luck with getting pregnant. We tried meds and that did not work so we finally just came to terms with not being able to have a baby. I too have a niece, from my only sister, and I know exactly how you feel. How could I love this child who is not even mine so very much and how much more could I love a baby of my own. It is the most wonderful feeling when she smiles and says I love you. And I will never hear that from a baby of my own. And I completely understand the whole legacy thing, when we are dead and gone, there is no one to carry on traditions, our stuff that has been handed down with be lost and discarded. I just wanted to let you know that your video was actually comforting to me. To know that some one understands and feels the way I do really helps me feel like I'm not the only one...or that I'm not crazy. Thank you so much for sharing, it has really helped me :)

[@katulka2]

All I can say is what others already have - that you can and will and have already made an impact on the world. I appreciate your honesty & vulnerability as always and I'm so happy you and your niece have each other!

[@audiwinn3934]

It's 2020, and YOU'RE PREGNANT!! SO HAPPY FOR YOU ❤❤❤

[@jordyn87]

So happy for you. I'm in the same boat. (33) and still no babies for me. 😪 you're blessed. A true miracle! Congrats 💕

[@eayns]

Thank you for posting this. I definitely needed to hear your words. People have brought up me having kids more frequently (after I was married, everyone asked when kids would come. Then they kind of stopped). Now, at 31, I have people constantly questioning me. I have always wanted to adopt, and eventually that became the plan. It hurts when you come to the honest realization that you can't have kids. Whether you decide to adopt is your own choice. But it hurts when you sit and think about it. You made me think if I was being selfish (not in a bad way, but like you said, honest). I am an aunt to three boys, but two have already entered adulthood. I know that love. I always thought that the intensity of love I had for them was so amazing, that I couldn't wait for the feeling myself. It hurts so bad. I think we are allowed to have these crap days. Because, in the end, it is our decision. We shouldn't have to explain it all of the time. And we are still allowed to mourn what we won't have. I feel your pain. Different medical conditions, different experiences, but the same emotions. Much love to you!

[@MoonGatherer]

I can't even express how much I relate with this video... It's the pain, the guilt, the emptiness, the longing... PCOS is a crap, really... you get to the point where you accept the fact that you won't be a mom but it doesn't mean it still hurts. What hurts the most, for me, it's the fact that everyone expects me to be a mom and they keep asking for it and I'm like... I can't, stop making me feel even worst. Oh well, stay strong in there... :)

[@jewelsjessica13]

Wow, this video made me cry. So heart touching. I have the fear of not being able to be a Mum too, because mine isn’t fully working. But you have got a beautiful surprise & I’m so happy you both get to be parents. I wish you all the best in your pregnancy. Congratulations ❤️

[@BBAngel7kids]

I bet your perspective has changed from 6 years ago now that your pregnant! You predicted it..you said 33 years old and now look..it has happened! Congrats Kristi and I wish you all the best on your journey into motherhood..your legacy will live on! 👏😘💕🤰🏼 6/16/20 🤰🏼💕

[@LunaCidnie]

Don’t you just want to go in the past and tell yourself of 6 years ago that it will happen, you’ll have to wait a bit but it will all be worth it in the end. So many hugs. I don’t even follow beauty channels but I’ve been captivated by your story. You are a beautiful person and deserve all the happiness you have now. Including all your professional goals that are materializing. I’m going to keep following and can’t wait to see the baby and your career grow.

[@debbielopez7168]

I've been watching your videos for a long time and just now came across this one. I know kids are something you wanted but are ok if it doesn't happen. It is 100%ok to NOT want kids. Never feel guilty for that! I know you're concerned about leaving your mark on the world, you are leaving it! Everyday when you pass someone on the street and you smile, you're leaving your mark. When you make videos and teach people the incredible artistry of makeup, you're leaving your mark. When I watch a chit chat GRWM and you make me laugh so hard that my husband thinks I'm insane, you're leaving your mark. You teach self love and acceptance. You touch people's lives daily! I know you have touched mine. Thank you for who you are and what you bring to this earth. ❤️❤️❤️

[@user-yb1je3ei7r]

I'm so understanding you! I'm too have this sindrom and l was suffering too many years from infertility.. Thanks to God my son is 11 years now. It's a miracle.. Love you and your channel! ❤️💐

[@tiffanyschramm8615]

WOW Kristi... this is so me, & I have a nephew & we r so close but it's not really the same. I have polycystic to, I'm 40 now & at 1st I never wanted kids but after my nephew was born it made me think. I see him say to my sister I love u Mommy, & that gets me because I'll NEVER hear that, & it breaks my heart. Yes I have him, & my sister is good @ "sharing" him w me,but its truly not the same. When my mother dies (my dad died last July) all I have left is my sister, brother-in law, & nephew. Eventually he isnt gng ti wanna hang out w aunt tiffy , which is starting to happen & it saddens me to cuz I wont ever have a family of my own. So I 100% understand & feel u, & am where u r completely . Sometimes I try to comfort myself by saying I dont want to b a mom, but its very deep wound that I believe will never fully heal. I'm very happy u made & posted this so thank u very much. Completely hit home....

[@Casey_R1021]

I just want to say I love you! And even IF you never have a child you absolutely make a difference in this world and you will make a major impact in Avery's life. Xoxo

[@SillyStokey92]

Oh my God, I'm so glad you made this video. I'm 21 and was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 18. Even though I haven't tried to have kids and have no idea if I am infertile or not, I definitely have these thoughts as well. I'm constantly playing the "what if" game with myself and sometimes you need to cry it out, especially to people that might understand. You are beautiful, amazing, and strong and I'm so glad I found your channel and this video. I could relate completely.

[@cassidysavage3803]

I just found this video and I’m sitting in class and I’m crying. I love you and I’m sorry about this in your life. I know you made this 5 yrs ago but it’s helped me learn more about you and love you even more. 😘

[@rez2293]

My aunt and uncle had the same issue and they came to the conclusion they were happy on their own as well but me (their niece) was loved so unconditionally by them as a growing up they’re on the same level as my parents to me and i’m an adult now I’m certain you’ll be just as important to your niece and she will keep your legacy alive as I will with my aunt and uncle

[@smileforRachel]

I’m doing major creeping, and I never comment, just wanna say I love you.

[@musclemommymichelle]

its like you knew

[@Kindercrafty]

I was told I couldn't conceive...so at 38 I got married...my husband was completely aware that we may never have children together. We went on our honeymoon...had the time of our lives...and boom...pregnant! I had a very difficult pregnancy and my son was born at only 31 weeks...we survived the stressful NICU experience...and brought a healthy baby boy home...hooked up to an apnea monitor 24/7. When he turned 1, I selfishly turned to my husband and said I wanted another...was shocked that he didn't feel the same. He told me he wasn't sure he wanted to risk losing me. I had to come to the difficult decision to not give my son a sibling...I cried about it to...a lot! Keep praying, God gives us miracles every day.

[@marissashealthylife2134]

I just adore you! You will be the BEST mommy. I truly believe that. My sister struggled with infertility and I’ve been through miscarriages and I understand somewhat understand the pain that goes along. Prayers to you and Zach and your journey together. You have such a beautiful soul!

[@stephanieh4676]

I am 19, almost 20 and have been married for a year. We have been trying for a year now and nothing. It scares me so much to think that I might not be able to get pregnant. I get so upset and almost depressed when people around me are announcing their pregnancies. People make it seem so easy and for those of us that struggle, it's hard to be happy for others. I know this is an old video, but I saw it today and I can totally relate. My husband and I have talked about not having kids and we would seek adoption. Thank you for this video. It gave me a whole new insight and a new way to think about things. ♡

[@lipstickandpurls]

I'm a newer subscriber to your channel and stumbled across this video at just the right time. I have PCOS also and have been dwelling on it and the fact that I will probably never be able to have children a lot lately. It's a real struggle for me, because my whole life all I've wanted to be was a momma. Everyone asks you when you're a child what you want to be when you grow up...my answer was always the same: "I want to be a mom". Thank you for posting this, I feel like there's hope that someday I can accept that children (at least biologically) are not in the cards for me.

[@mgansworth78]

Watching this again in 2020 - I am so happy for you - this is amazing !!!! 🌸💗💙

[@brittany3966]

Something I've been researching a lot lately is sponsoring children. Another thing that is always beneficial is volunteering at local children's hospitals, especially during the holiday season. Some of us just weren't meant to procreate and I just think the most important thing once we've accepted that is to support and love the children we can help take care of. Good luck with everything you and your husband encounter in life. The fact that you've both made it through such a hard realization and stressful process, shows how strong your love is for each other. You've come this far, and I truly believe you are invincible together.

[@cdesjardins1988]

Ok...im crying my eyes out! I'm here because of the pregnancy announcement that ovusense put in their stories on Instagram. You predicted it girl! I feel like you are saying everything in this video and its exactly how I feel...I'm 32 next month...I am so freaking happy for you! Congratulations momma and dad! 💙💜💙💜💙

[@MakingOurMiracle]

Kristi, thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, for posting this video today. I have so much in common with you, its crazy. I have PCOS also and have struggled with infertility for over 9 years (fertility treatments and all). However, I have a 10 month old nephew, who is my world. I was in the delivery room when he was born, which makes me feel that much closer to him. I love him more than anything! Sadly, 3 days after his birth, my father passed away unexpectedly. I was extremely close with my father, so his passing was incredibly hard for me...and still hard to deal with today. He always wanted to have his own grandchildren and the fact that I could never give that to him makes me so sad. I understand the pain you are feeling and I just wanted to let you know that your heartbreak isn't felt alone. Sending you much love today and everyday. ((HUGS))

[@FatRaptor123]

Cried my eyes out for hours after watching this... I had two miscarriages and then two perfect pregnancies to be blessed with my sons... Stay with it, you will be the most amazing mother one day. Love and best wishes always, Sarah, Baylee and Kyan xxxx

[@rachyod]

I'm 20 and found out that I had pcos a few years back.. I've always said that I didn't want children and that I'd adopt blah blah but seeing friends with babies has really started to upset me. I cried with you through this video. I admire you with your acceptance! You're here for something big don't doubt that

[@evieryan5933]

I just started looking through your channel and found this, My cousin that i grew up with that is basically like a sister is going through all these same things, they tried the clomid,fertility shots,dieting her last option is ivf. She calls me crying all the time and it breaks my heart. I have two boys myself so i feel so much guilt that she has to struggle like this for something that so many women are able to have, it really makes me thankful but my heart goes out to people who have to go through this emotional hell like you guys do. I offered to be her surrogate but i know there is nothing like creating that life and having your baby grow in your belly. I wish you guys the best!

[@mackenziefolley1382]

I am fourteen and you are a HUGE inspiration to me. I love that you are so honest and true to what you are saying and make the best of what you have. Your an absolute inspiration to women everywhere and I hope that you just see a shining light heading your way. You deserve happiness and will pursue wonderful things. Baby or not, you will leave your mark because you are you. Thank you for making this video. I appreciate you!

[@mustlovenicole]

I won't say that I know how you feel, because I don't, but I can somewhat relate and this video really helped me. I have severe anxiety and have been medicated since I was 11. The medication I am on is not safe for pregnancy, and taking me off of it has caused major problems in the past. I have made the decision (on my own, I don't have a significant other), that at this point in my life (I'm 23), I don't want children. This absolutely shocks some of the older women I work with, who can't believe that my one goal in life isn't to have to children. And many of my friends who have kids always gush over how good I am with them. I also have those moments where I feel guilty, especially when I see other people with their kids and enjoying themselves, or my brothers children, and know I may never have that.

[@foratimesuchasthis7757]

Somehow I stumbled onto this video a year and a half after you posted it...not too sure how. I truly believe I was meant to see this because sometimes I feel like I'm the only one going through this. And yes, you come to terms with not having kids, but it's still fucking hard. And it hurts like hell. Be blessed sunshine...thanks for sharing.

[@colleensmude9280]

Iamblessed78 i

[@illicitshadow]

Oh darling girl, I feel you. I only recently found you and have been bingeing on your old vids, the deeper I go the more I realise how alike we are. I too have PCOS, so I probably can't get pregnant, even if I could I've had a chunk taken out of my cervix (cancer scare) so I probably wouldn't be able to carry to full term. I also have MS and the medications I'm on demand I not get pregnant... I'm an only child so I definitely understand about not leaving a legacy and the pressure we put on ourselves about it. I recently lost my dad so my mum has been updating her will, and through tears I told her to have something in place if I go before her and don't leave her any grandchildren. It broke my heart. I'm still struggling a little with the fact that not having kids wasn't by my choice, it was just taken away from me. I'm 33 now so that "what if one day..." dream is just about dead. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone,I imagine there's quite a few of us in the same boat. Sending much love xxx

[@ritaserraa]

honey we have so much in common... I am actually posting a video about this hopefully tomorrow... I'm 36 with no kids and just found out last year that I probably wont have kids bc of problems I have with my uterus ... due to fybroids.... long story but at this point doctors have no hope bc of my age and since I'm not a baller I don't have 30 grand for IVF or pay someone else to carry for me... but I feel your pain hun... I'm still coping with it and it is a struggle at times but I am working hard to come to terms with the fact I'll never have kids and maybe one day adopt idk yet but that is what brought me to KZbin its my outlet to heal

[@christinacoy4319]

I also have PCOS, I struggled with getting pregnant and I had several miscarriages in the process of trying to get pregnant. It's a horrible feeling. After a lot of tries and a lot of tears we decided to stop trying and we got pregnant with my beautiful son. I feel for you, I really do. I know this is an old video I'm on a binge right now. I'm 29 now with two kids and it's great but I find myself envious of people who do all the things they always wanted to do. Everyone who struggles with infertility thinks about these things I promise you that. I will say I don't wish I had 5 babies lol. I have two and they are beautiful but if we had only had one that would have been ok. I had already prepared myself for it never happening.

[@BubblesPleasant]

It broke my heart when she said what am I leaving back just KZbin videos. Because I say that too with my channel! I cried this whole video. I myself been trying for 25 years and I definitely understand where you’re coming from.

[@Capricornqueen88]

this channel.....you have made your mark on the world, not everyone is meant to live and make a life, god gave you a different purpose! you are so loved, and blessed, if you are meant to be a mother, it will happen!

[@JelenaW]

I am 26 and to be honest I don't want to have children. I also had PCS, and my periods are months apart, but somehow I hever minded it. Up until I saw this video, I couldn't understand why people wanted kids. But I completely understand now, I cried with you, too. I think I get the value because the way you put it is so honest. I wish you pleasant surprise pregnancy one day from the bottom of my heart, you really deserve it. You are truly an amazing person Kristi! Don't be hard on yourself...

[@theTaylorDee]

Just stumbled across this video & I’m going through this situation. This video makes me feel so much better because no one understands it fully & you said everything that I feel.❤️ thanks so much for this video.

[@valnsky]

same boat girl, been in it forever

[@sailormf]

And now you’re pregnant with who I’m sure will be the best human to ever exist. So unbelievably happy for you. I’ve been crying tears of joy since the announcement and I don’t even have kids or want them I’m just so damn happy for you and just know that you will be the best and most deserving parents 🎊

[@daniellenothmann7534]

And now she is an amazing mother to a beautiful and healthy baby boy 👶💕

[@kelsiharris1009]

I think it's a societal expectation to have children. There is this pressure for us to procreate and if we are unable or do not want to, it brings about questions from others as well as what you're feeling. I am about 80% sure I don't want kids but I battle with the same thing you are, with how my "legacy" will die with me. Who will take care of me when I'm old? These are all worthy questions. Just remember that little Avery will be there to look after her auntie. She will not let you be forgotten. Big hugs to you.

[@carlarapoza9495]

I’m so happy for you and your family! RAWBABYKRISTI 💖

[@estherchagoya5400]

So I too have PCOS. I've been married 14 years. I am now 41. He have no children. I too ponder what the heck I was placed on earth to do if I have not been able to do what is the most fundamental thing which is to procreate. I was told (or I overheard as a child) that women that could not have children usually have awesome husbands, and that hour lives are filled with abundant love. I understand that at 41 I will have no children and like you I have nieces and nephews, goddaughters and godsons that love me and I them. My life is complete. Thank you for sharing.

[@AndriaFocht]

Remember this...As much as you love your niece she loves you exactly as much if not more! She will grow and have siblings God willing and they will love you the same amount too. You get to be the cool aunt they run to when mom and dad are jerks. That is amazing! You are so blessed in so many ways. Never will they ever throw out your pictures or memories you and your husband are making. They will cherish them and share them with their family always. You will never just disappear...

[@juliahernandez9572]

I just wanted you to know you really made so much sense to me. We have been TTC since 2008. It is the hardest thing I have ever gone through. And so many people say once you stop trying it will happen. But it's not a switch you can turn off. And I completely understand about being an aunt! My sister has 4 kids and they are my world. Anyways I just wanted to say thank you for this video!

[@mskazooli]

Sweet Kristi. . . It’s 2020, you will be a mom. I’m so happy for you.Can’t wait to see your sweet little boy.🥰

[@MissKrissykris8408]

This is the first video I've seen of yours, and In just one video I feel like I've know you for years. EVERYTHING that you just said, everything that just poured out of your heart and mind, has been bottled up in my heart and mind for the past 5 years, and especially the past month. It lit feels like you just said and expressed every thought and emotion that I have been holding inside because i'm afraid to let others see how badly im devistated about not being able to get pregnant because of PCOS, and my husband putting his foot down that PCOS or not, he does NOT want a baby.....I really don't even know what to say....thank you for posting this video :)

[@chynnaheil2593]

Watching this just after your sweet baby boy has been born into this world. You got the career and you got your motherhood... because you DESERVE it for being such an amazing person. So over the moon happy for you guys! 👏🏻👏🏻

[@michelledrake1487]

I have PCOS, as well. My husband and I tried for 4 years. We gave up and miraculously got pregnant with a precious little girl. Unfortunately, she was stillborn at 23 weeks....I cannot believe how cruel and unfair this life can be. My heart goes out to you and your husband. I'm so glad you have your sweet niece.💕2 years ago, we were blessed by the grace of God, and we now have a beautiful daughter, who is also named Averie! I am sending you so much love. You are such a beautiful person. You are leaving your mark on this world, at least to me 😘

[@lilhomemaker]

I think that its okay to be okay to not be a parent. You came to reality and not many people can do that. Some try so hard for many years and it just ruins who they are sometimes and even go so far that it crushes relationships and their marriages. You are such a great person Kristi. Who can forget you? :)

[@hollyslittlemess]

You don't have to be a parent to leave your mark on the world. Your niece will no doubt be so influenced by you and your life, she is incredibly lucky to have you as an aunt and your sister will love the relationship you have with her daughter To leave your mark you can write a book, give advice, help people, donate your time and most importantly be you. It's clear from the comments that you have many people that care for you And I think you are pretty cool amazing lovely person

[@TheBirdWithLaceWings]

I've watched your videos from your other channel for a few years now. They helped me deal with my infertility, because your outlook is very similar to mine. You and I are literally in the same mind set right now, your words in this video felt like my own. As much as I love your new channel, it was nice being able to release some emotion right along with you, I cried right along with you, I couldn't even help it. No matter the end result for both of us, I hope we both get to live truly happy and fulfilled lives. I always worry, that even though, like you I've come to the point of acceptance, that it will always be in the back of my mind.. Or that I'm lying to myself to convince myself that it's ok, just so that it doesn't hurt as much.

[@katietalk24]

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I feel the same way. I can't have kids either and have pcos and right now I just want to hug you. It is so hard to see others going through the same thing that are meant to be parents. I feel guilty that I can't give my husband kids and that's all I want is to be a mom. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[@chynnaheil2593]

I have been with you since subculture days. You have been the most relatable person for me on KZbin. You have grown so much. I seriously adore you, and you are, in fact, my real dad. ♥️

[@MissPrincess080108]

I'm about to be 23, and suffer from PCOS. Me any my husband have made up our minds we are happy without children. I still wonder at times what it would be like, who is gonna take care of us when we are older, and who will get all of our belongings. We have fur babies, but lets be honest, they are not gonna change my diaper when the time comes. You are not alone. Sending BOG HUGS your way.

[@karenwood4483]

Kristi, I love you so much. I watch your makeup tutorials all the time. My husband and I have struggled with infertility for almost two years. All I can tell you is that god is in control of it all. Even now, March 28, 2018, god hasn’t forgotten about you.

[@HenleyPhoenix]

I've been subbed for over 6 months now but I'd never seen this video. My mum has PCOS and my auntie has Endometriosis and they both got pregnant, so I think my mum's PCOS came later on in life, however, she still ovulates so I'm hoping and praying that you are blessed with a miracle baby. I may not be able to have children, not from infertility, but from being disabled with rare disabilities. I'm positive that regardless you will leave a mark on this earth with the things you do and your kindness.

[@HenleyPhoenix]

And I'm sure your niece Avery will remember you and keep your things because you seem like an amazing auntie ❤️

[@katehill1191]

wow. so crazy to hear my own thoughts and feelings verbalized by a total stranger, we'll not a stranger...lol My husband and I will not have kids to take care of us when we reach our golden years. My husband is an only child so his parents will never experience being grandparents....guilt. It totally makes sense to me Kristi. If it is meant to be it will happen.....as much as I say I'm OK with it, I'm really not. I am 45 years old so that ship has sailed. I feel robbed. it's so not fair, but it is. You were meant to shine for other people's children. THEY will remember you and carry on your light. Your niece, your friends children, all of them. Love and light to you, we share this burden in so many ways.

[@ambersemona9676]

Kate Hill you couldnt have said it better. What i mean by that, is everyone has that one angel that came 8nto our life or has always been in our life. And he or she made a huge differance. For kristi's niece she has her auntie. "Angel". I think that we need someone if its not our parents then for sure we NEED that one person who helped us become a even better person, you know what i mean? Anywho Kristi darlin i myself was blessed with one child. I was told by different doctors that i wouldnt be able to have children because of the same issue. I had my daughter young. And as she grew up i had wished i had gotten prego layer in my life because of the wisdom and the way i look at life now that im older. But it is what it is right. Im sending prayers out to you i do hope you get to exprieance motherhood. And you do still have time. If being a mom is part of ur life then thats ok too. Because trust me darlin god has something up his sleeve. Plus ur an awesome auntie. And ur niece has gotton to grow up with her "angel"😚😙