"Honor Your Parents" - What Does That Look Like After Complex Trauma? (Q&A with Tim, Part 3)

[@triplejmom7826]

Thank you for talking about this. I’ve learned to tell religious people that if you don’t like my fathers treatment of me then my telling the truth isn’t dishonoring them. They dishonored themselves & I’m not going to bare false witness against my father so you can feel better. Setting boundaries isn’t disrespectful. Protecting my kids from their grandfather isn’t disrespectful either.

[@Gin8Gin7]

To honor means to tell the truth to see in a clear light. People who idolize their parents are not honoring them either. I love church and the Bible, but it is very easy to misuse and manipulate if you don’t have a clear, open heart.

[@triplejmom7826]

@@Gin8Gin7 very true

[@Bekind7868]

I think we have to have God's love in us before we make decisions. It's our biggest hurdle in life.

[@GodsChosenMekAmoR]

@@Bekind7868what are you implying?

[@positivevibe7684]

​@@Bekind7868Are you implying self-love?

[@peppermintgirl572]

I really like this saying. "Just because they have a title, doesn't mean they are entitled." Basically just because they may be my parents, it does NOT mean they should keep hurting me.... and it does NOT mean I will be in a close relationship with them like before....

[@Leirothehero]

As a survivor of trauma from my parents I was enraged. I wanted to let the world know how I felt and all my traumas. Now that I am thriving, I just wish I could tell me to stay strong and hope is always there for you. Anybody struggling with trauma, be strong, and hope is always out there if you believe in it.

[@Healing70x7]

Thank you! You have lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. Both of my parents are narcissists, and they have left a trail of destruction in my life. I will walk this earth without ever knowing what it is like to be loved by a father or a mother. I no longer feel guilty about no contact.

[@gohawks3571]

(I know this isn't for everyone) God has told me I am an orphan. People exist in my life, but parenting didn't happen. I had no support. I lived in a house, had clothes, and ate food. That's the best that my life was. But God was there holding my heart the whole time. He has moved me far away from my mom, and my dad (who is ok, but not allowed in my life; he eventually gave up and had another family) is on the other side of the country. Literally as far apart as possible without being out of the continent. I'm in the middle. God has me in a cocoon, and I'm able to grow without being available to anyone's beckoned call. It's not easy, but at least it's peaceful 😊

[@bc5810]

We were expected to immediately forgive and forget, my mom modelled this by taking regulat abuse and going on pretending things were normal. We all learned to do the same. I repressed all the memories, until as an adult I was chronically ill near death, and during meditation the memories all came back. God didn't design us to forget. If abusers don't take full responsibility, repent, and change, there's no grounds to believe they're a safe no matter how much time has passed.

[@paulkreeft2091]

So true 🙏

[@electricLuLuland]

"...and parents, do not provoke your children..."

[@tahitihawaiiblue]

👍🏻 yup.

[@ctrotter5447]

New King James Version: Ephesians 6:4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

[@sandycares2995]

Some parents forgot that part- big time

[@Melissa_PhoenixRisingBlog]

I grew up in a narcissistic family...there was physical + verbal/emotional abuse. I was the scapegoat and at times the hero child... never knew which i was gonna be or when. There was verbal/emotional neglect (abuse) as well as physical abuse. My dad always painted my mom as the "bad guy"/the one with issues (more flaws than himself)/crazy and my mom never had anything good to say about my dad. The way the dynamics were my dad was the lesser of evils... at least thats how he painted himself. I spent 30+ years of my life trying to heal and "fix" my family...because i was told to honor your parents/respect them, etc. So, i always tried to see the good (to the detriment of my own health- phys., mental, and emotional). Now they dont understand why i dont talk to them. Here are truths ive learned (and wish id known sooner): 1. That command to "honor thy father and mother" is based on a contract... the parent-child contract whereby the parent is a actually a parent (i dont just mean clothing, feeding, educating, housing, & providing medical care when needed (+ taking to church/building faith)- any detention center/jail/prison in the US can do those same things). When the parent fails to be a parent in anyway (particularly if it includes parentifying the child) that contract becomes null/void. [Note: im not saying treat parents horribly or be nasty. Just you dont have to listen to the religious people.] 2. In order to be respected you must be a respectable person/"earn" it 3. Setting boundaries (especially for your own health) is not disrespectful (its love for yourself and the other party) Now i only wish id realized this sooner.

[@jenniferbrownlow8473]

This is literally an answer to prayer. I asked God this question the other day, and now here is my answer. Thank you ❤

[@natural3362]

God never fails! Glory to Jesus! I put all my faith and trust in my lord Jesus!

[@karieification]

Verbalizing is part of healing and breaking free from family curses and generational bondage.

[@WW-ob7ek]

Could be youtube algorithm

[@positivevibe7684]

@jennifer Ask and it shall be given.❤❤

[@anitae]

I can't watch alot of these because they trigger me so much. You could write on book on my life. But I am surviving. Every day is a step forward.

[@TimFletcher]

I'm sorry to hear that it's tough to get through them - it will get easier the more you learn, acknowledge, and grow. Every day is a step forward, and progress can look different for everyone, so be patient with yourself.

[@marcamp5450]

I learned in counseling Honor thy parents IF they are Honorable. Some are not!!

[@AB-un4io]

@@TimFletcher Well said and so true. I still take baby steps in tough areas; and some days are difficult. Even though they’re tiny? If I let them, those baby steps do feel like a battle won. Others may not view my baby steps in that light…and I’m (still) learning that it’s okay. I’m wishing the OP all the best and peace of mind. 🕊

[@Ali76564]

I have healed in my dreams because this man is getting to the roots and the truth sets free,so many deep lies of hurt with believe d that's the hurt

[@gohawks3571]

I'm there with you. I was a bit scared to click. But this video sounds helpful. God is good, and even though my brain feels like acid is being thrown on it every time I remember anything, He is taking care of me. Thank You🙏☝️❤️‍🩹

[@funkyklunky.]

So Important. The chaloic church stripped me and others of boundaries and ego. I suffered abuse and injustices on one check and turned to the other. Honored the abusers. Have suffered anxiety depression and addiction issues for years. Now at 42 with a beat down body and brain.... I am just here .... Not sure how much fault to put on the church. Are they really doing their best to create a better society or are they doing their best to selfishly promote their church. Either way Tims work is cutting edge effective and we who are healing because of him have such a great leader mentor and example to be thankful for. Thank you Tim

[@christinemcrawford]

Love, honor, and respect are hopelessly intertwined with truth. And if someone we love needs us to lie for them to feel respected, that isn't love. Years ago, when I asked a therapist about honoring an abusive parent we have to have a limited relationship with for our own safety and sanity, he said the most profound thing: "Sometimes the only way to honor someone is by the people we become."

[@kellythordarson2609]

That is beautiful.TY

[@natalie77867]

Yeah, it's the lack of honesty I simply can not handle anymore. My parents' unwillingness/inability to even listen to the effects of the sexual abuse I suffered as a child means the relationship is dishonest - good on the surface but full of secrets underneath. When they die, I'll be truly free. For now, I am distant but balanced when I have to deal with them.

[@shirleysiegrist552]

I like the phrase “the relationship is dishonest”. Nothing about it is true. It is a total deception whether or not in my case siblings or even my adult children recognize this about my narcissistic mother and I.

[@aquaspindrift1130]

Why are you giving them so much power? Why can you only be free when they die? You were born with the inherent right to live a wholesome life of balance and harmony that brings you health, happiness, joy and like-minded people full of kindness. Don't give others the power to destroy you. The best thing I've ever done for myself is the day I used all my strength to walk away from my abusive parents. That was over 45 years ago when I realized that I would hurt whether I stayed or left. But if I walked away, at least I had a chance for great healing. I was right! I'm now surrounded by amazing people who I love and respect and they love and respect me back! Wishing you lots of healing going forward.

[@candicesturtevant196]

So much love to you ❤

[@angelachan5587]

​@@aquaspindrift1130I am so happy for you. I'm in the process

[@nancyparker8363]

I chose to respect their position, and appreciate they did what they could with what they knew. Was it an uncomfortable relationship, yes, but I’m still trying to understand them. They have both passed and I have been given the gift of time to try and be objective and fair. I want to make a different choice for how I respect myself and others.

[@dreamscape405]

I distinctly remember the day I chose, as an 8 yr old child, I would never treat anyone the way my parents treated me. Ever. So, if I can make that choice, when I was 8...back in 1980, so there was no internet, and this topic wasn't even talked about yet.... and yet they, being adults couldn't seem to do the same for me. Yes, I've forgiven them. But dang, if a child can make that conscious decision, so could they. But they didn't. So I have to rely on God's justice. And that's more satisfying for me. ❤

[@SP-ml3bs]

I've always struggled with this because my dad abused me when I was a child. It was so confusing that the church and my family taught me that I had to respect and obey my parents even despite the abuse. I thought I was going to Hell because I had angry thoughts towards my dad as a child.

[@mnoxman]

To be respected one must first be respectable. Saying bad things about my parents has no guilt for me. Mom is dead. She was a bully and a narcissist. Dad is alive but no contact since 2011. Dad was a bully and a much more influential narcissist. Using his job to threaten me "under color of law". Doing things to me that were unethical or at least questionable in order to keep me from embarrassing him. Behaviour that if he saw me do would have him clutching the pearls and sprinting to the fainting couch. No. I hold him to the same "standards" he held me. No guilt. Live by the sword; die by it.

[@BAsed_AFro]

Respect is also a two way street. If people are not giving it (even to the adult "child") then they should not expect it in return... simple as that.

[@m.asammy3049]

Nice!

[@GildaLee27]

When someone shames or judges you for what your parents did to you with Bible verses, THAT IS SPIRITUAL ABUSE. Do not tolerate such behavior. It is evil. That person is putting themself in God's place. Call them out or just walk away.🙏

[@paulkreeft2091]

A very good point 👍

[@dreamscape405]

TYSM for this❤ this has happened to me often, and I always knew it didn't feel right, now I know why❤

[@Happylilsis]

Finally, one that I can listen to without feeling horrible! My parents were good people, but were tired and my mom was sick. They did what they thought best. The part that hurts even more is that I thought they were right and raised my kids the same except I spent way more time with my kids. They are adults now and the older 2 have accepted my apologies and say they know I did my best. My 3rd is still deciding. It’s hard to hear people on here talk about how children should stop talking to their parents. And learning as a middle aged adult that I unknowingly hurt my children kills me inside!

[@maritzacaruth9283]

I pray your youngest has a relationship with the older ones & will see how forgiveness is mostly for their own benefit. This younger generation has a lot more access to information than we did. I am very glad you've been able to heal. 🎉

[@victoryamartin9773]

I look back and cringe at some of the things my kids had to live thru. I would change them if I could. The best I can do now is apologize. I can't fix them though I wish I could.

[@sal6229]

Thank you, thank you, thank you for answering this question. I have struggled with this very question for years. It was explained so well and straight forward. God bless you 🙏🏼 ❤️

[@Candie4JC]

I’d like to add that this applies to an emotionally immature parent as well.

[@TheThiaminBlog]

This is really important. I have come to view so much of my childhood issues as a result of parents who married at 19 and 20 and had kids right away. My mom was responsible to a fault and got stuck with all her family’s problems, like handling results of suicide and single-handedly managing her sick parents’ eldercare. Both my parents were stretched beyond belief, and that caused issues down the line. I am still working on understanding this all, the impact it had. Sometimes i think narcissism comes from complex trauma. from managing problems that are too big. Period.

[@TheThiaminBlog]

I am 60. I am working to appreciate the many things my parents did right, and understanding and forgiving the things they did wrong. It’s been easy for me to fall into, “they are bad, I am good” thinking. It’s much more complex than that. There was much room for improvement on both sides. I hope I can do better, though it’s late for me.

[@CynthiaSchoenbauer]

Hate and disgust for what is wrong for me is how I love myself. I hate everything that disrespects me.

[@robertapes9980]

After suffering times and enough work I can respect my parents because I deeply know they did what they could do then, they couldn't do better. Our family life has been hard for many reasons ad traumas they had even before my birth.. Comprehension and forgiveness restore peace and love in life. Thank you so much for all your videos! Roberta

[@sandycares2995]

I don't respect them but I am respectful of them - I used to say - now I see that was ok. Thank you.

[@aletsem9713]

My dad abandoned us when we were little. Now that he is old and sick, he remembered he had us and wants us to support him financially. I have had a hard time helping him. I did confront him and felt really guilty. I'm hispanic, in our culture it's very frowned upon to talk about your parents. I have always gone against the norm, though. My very narcicistic mom wonders why I hardly visit or call. I guess she forgot how extremely abusive and cruel she was growing up.

[@paulkreeft2091]

My mom used to beat me black and blue to the point of limping to school and tell me I was an accident and she wished she never had me. She would repeatedly threaten to give me up for adoption, tell my I was stupid and I would never amount to anything. Now she wants me to feel sorry for her because she’s old and always brings up honour your mother and father

[@SFXingful]

I've cut contact with my father because he did those kinda things to me when I was a child and teenager. Best thing I ever did for my health.

[@nicatnyte]

I am so sorry you experienced that. You didn't deserve to be treated that way and it wasn't your fault.

[@Laura-xt9ch]

God bless you, unbelievable testimony. I pray you are emotionally and spiritually well!

[@paulkreeft2091]

Thank you Laura, God bless you

[@cupcake0480]

I honour my abusive parent by staying no contact. I tried to have a healthy relationship with them for 50 years. In the end you just cannot be unequally yoked as it takes you into behaviour that’s not honouring my own decent values. And, that way I won’t end her hating them, which I would have done if I’d stayed around them. That is how I’m honouring them. I forgive, I took them off my hook and placed them on God’s hook and I’m moving on with my life in a better state of mind from which I can give to others. And it’s not a case of forgive and forget. Your limbic system does not forget, the body remembers, so when someone tells you to forgive and forget, that’s not helpful. The anger you feel doesn’t mean you haven’t forgiven. It means your nervous system is triggered into the fight part of fight or flight. It takes a while to heal that somatically.

[@angelachan5587]

I honour your process and cheering you on!

[@mikevoegeli2006]

Excellent teaching, Tim

[@ef7856]

Thank you very much for this video! I really appreciate the clarification.

[@TimFletcher]

Thank you - I'm glad it has helped!

[@Alex-vr4wu]

At work, my boss is a narcissist and I have asked to keep it professional. We can talk about the weather but, talking about my family is off the table. It hurt my feelings because my boss is a Chaplain.

[@abbykoop5363]

Thank you for this!

[@MrBrunoUSA]

my mother died when i was 2 so she was never much of a factor in my life. I pray for the healing of whatever warped my father into the sullen, abusive, and aggressive father and manager he became, but i have had no contact with him in over 30 years. He does not know what country I am in, let alone what city.

[@JolinHard]

That must be nice.

[@girlsguidetosurvival]

My sympathies. He had his own trauma not just by loss of your mother, his wife. A generational curse. Hope divine brings healing ti both of you.

[@bingoandtoto]

He doesn’t deserve to know anything about you

[@AlaskaWRX907]

I’m pretty sure my parents ripped up their parent card with their actions. I think as a 5-year-old I actually mentally disowned them. I was forced to continue living with them but I certainly had no respect for them. There was just no way.

[@angelachan5587]

How do you treat anyone (parent, sibling) with respect when they continually disrespect any boundary you set down? Their disrespectful attitude doesnt even allow them to understand what you are saying when you lay down a boundary much less do it. That's the connundrum. Staying away from this kind of ignorance and utter blind incapacity becomes necessary for me as the only way to respect myself

[@mindkindmom]

You're absolutely right. We waste too much time being the bigger person which is only taken for license to abuse, mistreat further. Our sanity and respect come should come before magnanimity.

[@carlorizzo827]

ThankU Tim. This video is reassuring. Well, I grew up in fear, my parents broke my heart, while telling me I was loved. When I reached maturity, they noticed my pain, they humbled themselves, apologized, became good friends, & proved to be seeking people. Who am I to not forgive. I sometimes wonder did I forgive too fast. Did I interrupt the healing anger. Naah, working on anger is an independent process. I'm glad for arriving at our friendship. True, the damage proved intractable. I'm unable to pairbond. They're long dead, I'm old now. The siblings hate my guts, needed to make me scapegoat. We're no contact. Heartbreak is the norm, I'm glad I'm old

[@Grateful4life4time]

Whole heartedly agree 🙏 Thank you for putting into words. THANK YOU for your time and care you put into all your educational material. So grateful 🙏

[@Thrillingg]

This is great content. Please keep it up! Life giving stuff.

[@DIYsbyDivv]

Authoritarian parents like to quote Ephesians 6:2 but willfully ignore verse 4 which says, "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but raise them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

[@jasonayres]

Thanks for addressing this issue. I've had similar thoughts for several years, accompanied by doubts at times. I grieve that I don't talk to them like they're "parents" often anymore, more like chatting with neighbours I've known awhile. However, I can't trust them like I once thought I could. In balance, they're both from dysfunctional upbringings themselves and encouraged me to learn how to live "better" than what they taught us to.

[@harmonicresonanceproject]

So extremely helpful, thank you.

[@aprilblair8080]

The only way that I know to honor my father and mother after all that they've done, is to pray for them. I pray for them from the most sincerest part of my heart.

[@dmt02459]

Hey Tim, the studio setup is outstanding! Thank you for everything you do!

[@justinheer9098]

I still to this day really struggle with this ...looking forward to seeking out therapy to work on this .

[@SallyIronic]

LOVE IS BOTH WAYS, not one way. ONE WAY LOVE IS WORSHIP! Not Love. The teacher was the HOLY SPIRIT.

[@MishkaTia]

Thank you 🙏🏼 so much for bringing this up nobody does

[@PetterssonRobin]

Such a good take. Everyone should watch this

[@Lulubelle.III.]

Good thing I have the "hopelessness" module up next in the queue.

[@positivevibe7684]

Thank you, Tim, for this wonderful reminder.❤❤

[@JamieWhitaker-l7b]

Thanks😊

[@NatashaLeah9]

Thank you so much for clarifying this. Bless you

[@gerovyking2782]

Wow. Respect.

[@TheThiaminBlog]

I was not a great teen, my brother was into drugs. My sister was mentally slow. My mom’s family was really unstable. I would love to hear more about “they did the best they could with what they had” and the responsibility of the kids to understand-and forgive-the parents’ situation after we are older. I was self-absorbed as a young adult-working-all about me. Too much stress. I was immature in my own responses most of my life, reacting and not proactive about choices and outcomes-so no better than they were! Maybe my parents deserved better from us kids as well? 🙁 This is a good video-helpful. Thanks.

[@shadusia]

@@TheThiaminBlog have you considered that your behaviour was a reaction to the mistreatment you had from them earlier on...?

[@yolandawilson6951]

I made a decision regarding my relationship with my father. I'm going to take the job that I really want, get my own house, and get him a night nurse.

[@albertskoczylas2233]

Respect meant fear and worship

[@amcgee0668]

Mr. Fletcher, the work you've done to address the blithe of narcissism is amazing. However, it's very dangerous and insensitive to many to propagate respect for "wearing a badge," unless you're requiring/demanding reform of deadly force, and racists agendas that target blacks specifically. Especially considering that those of us who are alive and labeled black are not generally seen as inherently valuable for just being/existing. A person doesn't have to suffer a particular injustice in order to acknowledge its existence or the toll it takes on others. Individual narcissists exist because our entire dynamic and society are themselves narcissistic.🦋

[@ChrisOgunlowo]

Thank you 🙏🏽

[@InsideOut-v6w]

Fantastic! Thanks ❤

[@eriktarte2743]

Holy moly let me tell you how many issues my mother's second husband had with me not immediately kowtowing lmao man I just unpacked so much over the course of this video

[@kath1431]

Please do another podcast on this subject but not about parents but respecting our churches.

[@RockingRebelYell]

My parents used abuse as discipline and I lost respect for them since I was a child. I would rather cut off my limbs than show them respect because that’s what it cost my internal world, and I’m done sacrificing myself for ungrateful adult boomer baby parents unable to face their own shit.

[@RockingRebelYell]

I’m not gonna give respect to people that have hurt me so much that I have to relearn so much and sets me back so much in my life while I sacrificed so much to help them live better lives when those boomer babies had life on easy street and fucked it up for every later generation.

[@bingoandtoto]

To be more specific they just didn’t hurt me they killed me

[@mindkindmom]

Something is seriously wrong in any relationship if you have to lie to yourself and everyone else about the actual reality of who they are. Growing up with Jekyll-Hyde type of parents who put on 'best parent in the world' mask in front of an audience and do an about-turn behind closed doors is one horrible burden for a small child to carry. You're so hyper-vigilant of playing along with their charade while fearing the repercussions for failing to perform according to their expectations. .

[@PaupyJoi]

Feeling disrespectful towards your parents, can feel like self disrespect.

[@francestaylor9156]

Only if you don't consider yourself an individual. My parents' transgressions are not my own.

[@PaupyJoi]

Feelings in the limbic brain often override cognitive function in the cerebral cortex. Are we really considering our child's individualism when we FEEL personally embarrassed by them?

[@lucyritz6382]

When my adult children hurt me, how can I respect them? Trauma and hurt goes both ways.

[@dreamscape405]

You raised them though. You had a direct influence on their behavior growing up. Maybe you need to look at that. Whenever I see these comments, where parents are saying this about their own children, I always think this same thing. You were their first, and most potent influence. They play out their experience with their parents in their adult lives.

[@TheBjabeytalial]

You were the adult and the parent. You were expected to teach them, but didn't do a great job. Look at your own behavior.

[@yeahright2068]

How about just stop pretending they exist!

[@ashimaearthsky]

LOL, I am the truth teller in my family and everyone hates it (me) my mom said I couldn't wait for my dad to come home to tell him what she did. But then he wasn't much better. He didn't want to hear it. Children should be seen and not heard. Even when they have children themselves.

[@ahavashalom4093]

How to explain this to someone who has experienced incest by parent? Please consider addressing this topic. I cannot find much info on this topic.

[@amymefford53]

Any advice for young children to walk this out with a CPTSD /borderline parent? (8 & 10). They get rightly angry & hurt. I validate those feelings, but they’re still required to see him regularly so their boundaries won’t likely be honored, but punished.

[@johnnelson7192]

Mom dad I love you. But this is where I draw the line. Accept it or dint but it's happening.

[@stargirl6659]

Honor those who make themselves honorable. Giving someone something not out of merit but out of blood relation is called nepotism. Look at them and treat them as you would any other person. That is justice. Did they not teach you justice when they punished you for your shortcomings and wrong doings? Fairness. Let go of the bond you had toward them as a child. Don’t feel guilty when they claim you “used” them or “took an advantage of them”. You didn’t do the f@cking, you are not their caretakers by default either. If you want to care for them do it only if you will it but it’s wrong to give them something they have not earned.

[@EyeofDeborah]

I don't follow the bible path. I've learned it's oppressive. I had a parent that was glued to religion.

[@Hello34633]

That doesn’t mean it’s oppressive. People can use any form of anything to be oppressive. Parents are not supposed to treat their kids bad especially to wrath. Gods laws are just it doesn’t work for bad people.

[@triplejmom7826]

It’s only impressive when a narcissist or controlling person is involved. If you read the Bible you’ll see Jesus was against such people.

[@susannluckmann7705]

You can learn a lot by reading "Proverbs" and find great comfort by reading "Psalms". God want's a relationship with you. He spraks through His word to you. If there is something you don't understand, you ask Him to explain it to you. God loves you.

[@EyeofDeborah]

@@Hello34633 Have you read the bible? Really read it? I'm not impressed whatsoever with this book. I do not consider this book as my guide. In fact I won't have one in my possession. You may take this as your guidance, and that is the path you choose to walk. Be blessed on your journey.

[@EyeofDeborah]

@@susannluckmann7705 I have a very close relationship with creator. So I'm not sure what you are trying to say to me here.

[@anitarose7915]

My mother has continued to lie about me in my adult life. She has accused me of doing things I have never done. However, these are things she has done. My mother has no ability to actually love another person. She uses the word love, but it has no meaning or truth. At 81, my mother still is assultive in both physically and verbal ways. She is not any sort of authority over me. She rules my life my the trauma she has inflicted on me. My mother is naturally mentally slow. She is more evil than she is intelligent.

[@tabitooth]

Okay, so I'm not completely wrong.. but I do see I need to change a few things, it's kinda hard when the boundary is just soo big tho (after a lot, and I mean a lot of instances that prove my parent doesn't see me as a real person with opinion) but I'm working on it

[@jkgkjgkijk]

I'll answer that: don't piss on their graves.

[@mkh2799]

🙏

[@SallyIronic]

LOVE IS BOTH WAYS, not one way. ONE WAY LOVE IS WORSHIP! Not Love. The teacher was the HOLY SPIRIT.

[@sharonnugent408]

My mom s definition waa your 1st one

[@CynthiaSchoenbauer]

I am allowed to have hatred and saaaaayyyy so!!! I hate my parents. These are my emotions. They are my truth. I do NOT respect them. Free speech allows me to tell my opinion and part of my opinion is my feelings of hate. Hate and disgust.

[@angelachan5587]

I hear you sister. Hate was my friend, allowing me to feel separate fr the violent crazy making behvr of the narcissistic mother

[@annieboat9999]

Boy did the title of this video trigger my cptsd! I haven't watched it. I really admire Tim but my life was built on lies and secrets and the abandonment and shame run deep to the core. The idea of "honoring" my parents is discusting to me.

[@natural3362]

I prayed to the lord so that i can go no contact with my parents because i can't honor them. They're a disgrace. They gave me so much traumas

[@GloriaWatkins-c2u]

Yes like dont be auiet hes home dont want to set him off.

[@samanthafox3124]

Whoever thought this was the definition of honor and respect, is very wrong.

[@positivevibe7684]

The bible may be speaking of honoring healthy parents.🤔❤

[@Bekind7868]

These are the words of Jesus. Walk in the love of Christ. Period. Live in Him. But Jesus doesn't ignore sin either. He makes us accountable then forgives. Love those who persecute you and despitefully misuse you. It's not that hard to love a narcissist or someone who hurt you if you are walking in the Spirit. It's the only way you will find freedom. It's the eye of the needle. Maybe our parents failed in love as all do, but you don’t have to fail in love. Love doesn't care if it's hurt. It doesn’t insist on it's own way. Love never fails, and if you find it, you will have hinds feet on high places, able to leap over every obstacle in life. Jesus died for all of us to pay for our sin. This is love. His love heals then enables you to have His heart. Tim is right about respecting our parents.

[@Ominous89]

Holy Bible: "Honour thy parents." Me: "C U in Hell, mom. C U in Hell, dad." True story, the only way of honoring my parents was to cut ties. It wasn't only for the benefit of myself. It was also better for them and wiser for us both to never cross eachother's path again. Or else...

[@TheBillaro]

they are flawed. we are flawed. e forgave them. they punished us. thats ok.

[@Eugenetra7]

I will never respect them. My grandmom, mom, father and brother are pure monsters. Nobody did so many shit to me as them.

[@Ali76564]

Forgiveness is never deserving Jesus doesn't expect us to put up with some things

[@GloriaWatkins-c2u]

Example if parents have appointment they leave in odd invronment. I justify it they thought being left there was right appointment. I did not want to go cause i was little filthy hard people no abuse happened nust messy dirty means eat hostess or wrapper. No homie cooking

[@angelachan5587]

Isn't this something to screw up your brain: I (the parent) bullied and abused you when you were young and vulnerable causing such fear, distress and lasting scars such as feeling unlovable, not good enough, unsafe and terrified of and in life. Now that I'm old and vulnerable and weak physically I want you to love and care and help me (in a way I never did for you), ie. be the opposite of what I modelled for you, even when you are biologically programmed as a child to absorb my way of being and to learn how to be in the world from me. In other words: learn and be loving in a vacuum of love and care and in an environment of unsafety that triggers all your biological defenses and having to cope with that. It is really hard to first be aware of that, then to find resources, find trust and just do that (far far away from the narcissistic and disassociated from reality family). A totally one sided relationship if I ever saw one. It feels like the cross every one with complex trauma has to bear - transcending the totally unnatural conditioning of the family since childhood which is the same principles on which general society is based, to come back into natural sanity of the true self..moment by moment by moment. No wonder there's an expression of the journey of life being that of revealing my own Christ consciousness. To realise love and what it is. It does literally take that.

[@GloriaWatkins-c2u]

Not when just 5 yrs old hellow

[@aciddiver1978]

This is why Jesus died for us, noone is without sin. And to get a relationship with Him, we must be clean, and Jesus made us clean by the work on the cross. That is for they who receive Jesus.

[@Lyrielonwind]

Jesús died to make clear to everyone that victims are innocent and that scapegoats are innocent. He died on the cross being innocent in order to teach us human sacrifices are forbidden in any shape or form and systematic abuse of innocent children is sacrifying someone's life and not a parenting right.

[@terryfelkins912]

I don’t feel bad! I was molested by my father’s brother. I do not honor them! Sorry. The worst of it is they don’t believe me. No proof!

[@BecomeConsciousNow]

This was good. But I wish Tim would come out of the closet because it's hard for me to watch a gay man lie about their sexuality. I can't deal with people who lie because what else are they going to lie about?

[@mistypfitzer111]

I have to watch on ×1.25 speed cuz he talks to dang slow haha 😅

[@BAsed_AFro]

Respect is also a two way street. If people are not giving it, then they should not expect it in return... simple as that.