Overcoming Scoliosis | My Story

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Today I wanted to share my extremely personal story, on my journey to overcoming scoliosis, in hopes that it can help others out there. ⭐💗 ⭐ Thank you so much to anyone who took time to listen to this, and please feel free to share your stories in the comments below. If there is something with your health that you are struggling to overcome, let me know so I can keep you in my prayers. ♡ ♡ ♡ "Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed." ~ Isaiah 53:4-5 "But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the LORD" ~ Jeremiah 30:17 "Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies; who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's." ~ Psalm 103:1-5 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." ~ Isaiah 41:10 "Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth." ~ 3 John 2 More Healing Scriptures & Resources: bit.ly/3olT7tj

[@deannab8649]

Thank you for opening up with us . I will be 50 next month and have my disability hearing a few days later. I was a health care worker for almost 30 years . I can't do it anymore. Without listing it all , I have several autoimmune disorders , thyroid disorders, cyst on brain with short term memory loss and seizures . osteoarthritis, 4 issues with my spine . I do have a curve in my back from this . All my life I was told stand up straight! I kept saying I am or I can't. Now I know it was a spine issue , not my refusal . I had several months of lower back therapy this year . I was checked many times for scoliosis but don't have it . I also have Osteopenia, the start of Osteoporosis. I am glad you are a believer . I am too . I keep busy and help people in other ways now . Not working a job . I am in counseling for worse anxiety, panic , OCD , and depression . Finally opened up about it to get help . I said I didn't ask for all this . But it makes sense . I finally agreed to see my doctor Monday about starting a low dose Antidepressant. Therapist said it will help with my uncontrollable compulsive eating in the evenings , sleeping , clarity , mood , feel happy again instead of numb ,pain . I feel guilty for relaxing . I have agreed to take classes in November for cognitive, mindfulness, online . I have 4 beautiful nieces to live for ! Age 10 , almost 8, almost 4 and almost 3 years old .

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Hi Deanna! Thank you so much for sharing your story and it sounds like you are dealing with a lot in regards to your heath. You are really strong to spend your time helping others, even through all of this! That is amazing of you to do. I commend the fact that you reached out for help too, because I understand that can be hard to do sometimes. God can certainly work miracles through doctors and medication too! :) I hope your appointment will go well on Monday and that you will be able to get some relief from the things you've mentioned. Please don't feel guilty for relaxing or taking time to focus on your health. I know the world is so focused on reaching goals and accomplishments, that it drives us to feel like it's wrong when we aren't DOING something to progress. Just remember your worth and value is not tied to how much you do or accomplish in a day. It's perfectly okay to rest when your body needs it! 💕 Sending lots of love and support to you!

[@VictoriaHammond]

You are very honest about your life and yourself and I love that about you. Don’t ever change 💕

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Thank you so much Victoria. You are so sweet to say that 💕🤗

[@littlehammies]

I'm sorry you have gone through this hardship. You are so brave opening up about this and, by doing so, will help others. Two of my nieces have scoliosis. One had surgery and the other wore a back brace for eighteen months. They are both doing well now. I am so glad you are dancing again. You are such a beautiful dancer. I wish you all the best. X

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Hi Little Hammies! I am so sorry about your nieces, but it's great to hear they are both doing well and are not bothered by the scoliosis now. Thank you for your sweet compliments too and it made me smile to see your comment. 💗😊

[@Thegratefulnurse]

Thank you for your testimony of your faith and your story.♥️😇

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Aw you're welcome! Thank you so much for watching. :)💗

[@aliyyah1784]

i love that you shared your story. i was diagnosed with scoliosis when i was in 6th grade. i’m a freshman in high school now and it’s been hard. i’ve needed the back brace and have been wearing it since then. i’ve been following you for a very long time since probably 2015 when i first wanted to get a hamster and i was never able to tell. i guess now i know we have a few things in common. thank you for openly speaking about this.

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Hi aliyyah! I'm sorry to hear of your struggle with scoliosis too. I never like to hear of others going through tough things, but yes you're right, we do have that in common! Hopefully you won't feel so alone now, and just remember that God loves you! 💗

[@PincheMigs]

Thank you for sharing your story and sharing about God. You explained his reasonings so well because people do often wonder why he doesn't "fix" things in life that are tragic or painful. Our faith is what matters and what we need to focus on. ❤️

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Hi April! Thank you so much for taking the time to watch my video and to leave your thoughts. 💕 😊 You are right, there is a lot in this life that we may never understand, such as why certain things happen or why certain things don't happen. We will never have all of the answers we want. However, we just have to remember that God is good, and everything good comes from Him. Everything bad comes from the enemy (Satan). We never have to question God's goodness or if it's God's will for us to suffer with sickness, because it isn't His will and Jesus already paid for our healing. 💖 It's so amazing!

[@PincheMigs]

@@HoppinglyEverAfter exactly it is so amazing!! ❤️❤️❤️ God bless you!

[@chandreams4590]

Thank you for sharing your experience! There’s something very relieving about sharing about this here with us, I’m sure! I’m all the more proud of you and how far you’ve come! Here for you!!💓💓💓

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

You're so sweet and thank you a ton for your support and love! 💗💗💗 It means a lot!

[@lightheidi9009]

Thank you for sharing. I had never looked at Jesus taking our pain. I had always seen pain as the hammer that is molding me. Your story really resonated with me on many levels. I just had neck spine fusion. I had been living a nightmare especially at the end of the day and I am so greatful my doctor pushed for an MRI. The neurologist office called and scheduled emergency surgery immediately. Right now I need to let God do the healing while I rest. It is hard to let go of control to put it in his hands.

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Hi Heidi! You're welcome and thank you for listening to my story. I am so sorry to hear about what you're going through after your neck spine fusion. That sounds really tough and I pray that God's peace and healing will touch you so you can recover fully and not be in continuous pain! 💗 Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way!

[@melicaban4606]

I'm sorry you had to deal with that :( As a a dancer, I cant imagine having scoliosis. Since I focus on contortion and acrobatics the most, not being able to dance without pain would have sucked. I'm glad you're still able to do ballet :) I had severe asthma when I was younger and that really didn't help with dancing and sports I wanted to play. I had excersize induced asthma attacks, so quit dance and didn't do sports. But later on, during appointments with my doctor, my family and I noticed my asthma got better and better. My asthma almost completely went away for about 2 years, and I went back to dancing. Now, it's coming back, but it's mild. I haven't had an asthma attack for a while, (obviously I had PE in school so I still had to do activities that caused asthma attacks) and I feel better. I am still continuing dancing, and I keep improving! I'm sure you will too with ballet :) Have an amazing day and I'll see you next time you upload a video! ❤

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Hi! Oh wow, you do contortion and acrobatics? That's really amazing and you must be so flexible! I am glad you haven't had any asthma attacks in awhile and are generally feeling better! It can be tough when health gets in the way of doing the things we love. Thank you for your very sweet comment and support! 💗

[@taylorelizabeth4044]

AHHHHEE I love your Christmas decorations as well! I'm sorry you had to go through that.I'm glad you can start up ballet again in controlled setting! Thanks for the video and the message! (:

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Aw thanks, I had a lot of fun setting up the Christmas decorations the past couple of weeks! :) Thank you for taking time to watch and yes, I'm so thankful to be able to do some ballet again, but without all of the stress and pain as taking outside classes.

[@vilet-bd5pd]

I’m glad you were honest and I hope your ok I love your channel!

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Thank you very much for taking the time to listen. :) It means a lot!

[@sofiasartstudios6618]

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I know it must have been hard, but you are so brave for having shared it anyway. I’m sure it will help bring hope to anyone struggling with this. I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with it, and that it’s had such a deep impact on your life. I myself have very (and I mean very) mild scoliosis: It’s not supposed to affect my body at all, but being aware of it has led me to do my research, learn what it is, and see how difficult it can be to deal with (+ I also know some people who have it more severely)! But I’m so happy and excited to see that you’re dancing again, and that you are hopeful of the future! I wish you all the best as you continue dancing, and focusing on your health! 🤗

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Aw thank you so much Sofia! 💕😊 Yes it was hard to share this, but I do think it will help others out there! I am sorry to hear you have a mild case of scoliosis, but as it is mild, hopefully that means you won't have any bothersome pain or other symptoms from it. It's great you are doing research and reading up about it too! Thank you for your sweet well wishes and for taking time to watch this video! 💗💗💗

[@sofiasartstudios6618]

@@HoppinglyEverAfter I am so glad that you are happy with your decision to post your story: I am sure you will help people in similar situations! Yes, luckily the curvature is barely even considered scoliosis, so my experience mostly surrounded learning about it, which I think helped me to be more understanding of other people's struggles. that you had a great week. Many hugs!

[@LorisHartland]

I didn’t know you struggled with this. Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry you weren’t able to go further with ballet but it’s great you have taken what you learned and are still able to love and enjoy the hobby and you will have what you learned forever. And we love when you share ballet! I took ballet when I was little and I LOVED IT. But sadly I had to quit when my mom got pregnant, she was so so sick she couldn’t handle taking me to classes anymore. I will always love ballet tho. Have a great day 💗

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Hi Lori! Thank you for taking the time to watch and for your comment, especially. 💗😊 Yeah, it is not something I ever really talk about, so most people don't know. I never knew you took ballet when you were younger either! That's neat, although I'm sorry you had to quit going and weren't able to continue with it. Maybe you can find a studio that offers open adult ballet classes? :) (Although I totally understand it can be intimidating to go to these sometimes!) I hope you have a great day too! 💕

[@UnyJustAGirl]

Hey There! First of all, im so proud of you to share your story. I never noticed your scoliosis untill recently when you posted a picture where your back was visible. But i dont care how you look like. I really understand what you felt when you saw everyone with straight backs. I have the same thing, but then its about something else on my body where i feel insecure about. Life is not always fair. Im not religious and so i try to always comment as neutral as possible. I respect everyones beliefs. I of course understand you dont want to have surgery, because ive heard that you cant bend your back anymore after the surgery, and that would be devastating for you and your passion for dancing and ballet. I could see the pain and tears when you were talking about the experiences you had, and i really feel for you! I understand how you feel! Sometimes you dont have to experience the exact same thing, to understand someone elses feelings! I understand you! And im sorry that i feel bad for you, its just in my nature to care for/about people, and that always comes with the feeling of helplessness when that person is going through something that you dont wish upon any human being. Like i said, im very proud of you to be so personal with us! Telling your story makes you an even more braver person than you already were!❤ Stay safe, healthy and happy. And i wish you a very good night/evening/morning! ❤❤❤

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Aw thanks so much for your incredibly sweet comment and for taking the time to listen to my story! 😊 💕 🤗 It really means a lot to have your support and especially, your understanding. I am just like you, too, where it hurts me to hear others share their hardships and see them hurting, and my heart goes out to them. Everyone definitely has their share of things to go through and overcome, huh? It's just nice to have support and people out there who care. :) So thank you! 💗

[@caitlinyoung9549]

thank you for sharing your experience, you are so strong and deserve the best

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Thank you so much for your sweet comment 💕😊 Hugs!

[@lynn5530]

Thank you for sharing. 💕 I know this is an older video, I actually just found out today that you have a second channel. I used to watch your hamster videos and always enjoyed them. Hope you are doing well. 😁

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Hi Jenn Lynn! Thank you for your sweet comment and for saying hi! 💖😄

[@ChillismYT]

When I first watched this video 2 years ago, I had absolutely no idea what scoliosis was. Little did I know, I had it myself. A year later I was diagnosed with idiopathic scoliosis. I now have a curve of 61 and 46, I had been told that I will need a spinal fusion. I’m obviously scared but its awesome to know that you also struggle with this because now I feel less alone. I’m 16 now and I use a cane. I used to be a dancer, but the pain was horrible, I’m getting worse and worse, but I’m not giving up yet! I’m going to keep going until the very end. I want to go back to dancing after my spinal fusion, thats my goal.

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Hey! Wow, I am so, so sorry you have to deal with scoliosis too. My heart goes out to you in knowing that you have pain and feel that it's getting worse over time. I hope that the spinal fusion goes well for you and that it can help with your uncomfortable symptoms. You seem to have a great attitude though and NOT giving up is half the battle! :) Keep going! I send you all my wishes for a perfect surgery and a speedy recovery! P.s. If you want to or think of it, please keep me updated how it goes for you.

[@ChillismYT]

⁠@@HoppinglyEverAfterIts been about a year now! I’m 17, turning 18 November 2nd. I finally have a surgery date for this october 25th!!

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Oh that's exciting and thank you SO much for your update! I hope it all goes well and smoothly and that you have a super speedy recovery! :) Best wishes!!

[@ChillismYT]

@@HoppinglyEverAfterI’m now 1 1/2 days post op now! Stiff as heck and painful for sure but I know it will get better 🎉

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Aw, well done for making it through such a big operation! You have a good outlook and positive attitude, so I am sure you'll continue to improve more and more with each day. 🤗 Hoping you will have long lasting and good results to make your life better. :)

[@emileyfisher]

I had no idea you have Scoliosis as well! I also have Scoliosis. My spine is like an S shape. Last time I got an X-ray a few years ago, my top curve was 36° and my bottom curve was 28° I believe. We are in this together! 💕

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Hi Emiley and thank you for watching this and sharing about yourself too! Yes we are in this together, and my love and support goes out to you, also, dealing with scoliosis. 💕💕💕 I am sorry you have to deal with it!

[@missTammy1983]

I had no idea , thank u for sharing , I have this as well

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Hi and you are very welcome. :) I'm sorry to hear you have scoliosis too. I hope it doesn't give you a lot of pain. 💗

[@missTammy1983]

@@HoppinglyEverAfter not as bad when I was in my teenage years , but after having kids and getting older , and I'm only 37 , but the pain level has increased over the years , love your videos no matter what I support your channel your so amazing

[@jackiepage6760]

Hi Hopping Hammy how are you doing today fine I hope, thank you so much for sharing this important information with us. I didn't realise you had scoliosis. It doesn't matter to me what you have and what you have not. Your still the same beautiful person inside and outside to me. I'm so sorry that you never achieve your dream of becoming a ballet dancer. But I'm so happy that you are dancing now it may not be professional but it is dancing. And it is so beautiful to watch you. You have the elegance and the Grace to be anybody you want to. And you know I have mental health problems and other stuff too. And you and I have our fatigue to you are a precious person to me.

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Hi Jackie! Thank you so much for your sweet comment and the support you've offered! 🌹💕 It means a lot to me! I wish I could leave a longer comment for you today, but just know I really appreciate what you've said. Thank you! 💗

[@jackiepage6760]

Thanks so much for your reply and the 💓 I really appreciate it very much thanks so much bye for now love Jackie xxxx

[@sophia-vt5ob]

I am sorry you had to deal with that :( Btw r u going to post on the hopping hammy channel? I am just wondering (You are an amazing dancer!)

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Thank you! :) I will post on HoppingHammy as I can think of video topics (or once I get a hamster), but I don't have a set upload schedule at the moment. 💕

[@AnimalLoverChanL]

You are so strong and brave and beautiful. I love your tender heart and how you shared the Lord. Jesus is the best part about my life and I'm so happy when I hear others know him too. I have a pretty abnormal looking rib cage. I've never had an X-ray before so idk what the deal is. But fortunately it hasn't caused me any pain so far. I am sorry for the pain and hardship you've gone through but I'm so glad you've overcome and are in a good place and have been doing ballet again. I have this daily verse flip book thing and today's includes the words "restoration" and "healing" but it probably doesn't relate. Here's what it says anyway.⬇️ The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit. Psalm 34:18 In brokenness and contrition the humbled person cries out to God for help. He reaches out to Christ for restoration and healing. He exercises faith in another because he knows he must touch someone greater than himself. Similarly he seeks out others he can serve and in his suffering service finds fulfillment and freedom from himself. It is to such souls that God gives Himself gladly, freely. -Phillip Keller I believe you are going to touch and help people with your story and give them hope with what you've said about Jesus. I will be praying for you.

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Thank you so much for your wonderful comment and the verses you shared with me! That means a lot to read everything you wrote. Thank you for taking the time to post that for me and I really appreciate it! 💕💕💕😊 I do hope this will help others out there. Hugs!

[@ritacsany1173]

Thank you for shering.

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

You're welcome Rita! :)

[@ritacsany1173]

@@HoppinglyEverAfter I did have operation 25 years ago. I was 28 at that time. I wated to have it done before having any baby - i saw that pregnancy can make it worse. In my case i had no problems during pregnancy at all 6 years after operation!

[@lifeasamanda1964]

Bless you

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

💕😚💗

[@AmberJayneArt]

Sorry to hear you have Scoliosis, but I am glad you can begin to enjoy dancing again! I have Degenerative Scoliosis. Thankfully it doesn't bother me all the time, though I have found that going for walks really helps ease bone pain. I hope you feel better soon, and thanks for sharing your story :)

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Hello! Thank you for your comment and for sharing about yourself! 💗 Although there aren't very many comments yet, it already has surprised me to hear of how many others have (or know someone who has) scoliosis. I am sorry you also have it, but am glad that it doesn't bother you too much and that walks have helped reduce the pain. :) It's definitely helpful to rotate between walking / standing and sitting / resting, I've found.

[@AmberJayneArt]

@@HoppinglyEverAfter I definitely agree, alternating between walking, standing and sitting helps too. As an illustrator I find I sit a lot of the time, and that's when I notice the pain slightly more. Sometimes stretching/yoga and having a hot water bottle also helps to reduce pain too :)

[@rodentwatch4294]

Thank you for sharing something so personal! How are you now?

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Thank you for listening to my story! :) I am doing well and can manage it as long as I rotate between sitting / standing and don't stay in one position for too long. My neck tends to bother me most, but it isn't constant pain. It could be a lot worse, so I am thankful and believing for complete healing one day!

[@hugomarquez3189]

Hi, I’m really sorry you have to go through that. I go through a situation that also has to do with my back, which is not scoliosis, but it is bad posture, as my right hip rotates back and up, messing up my spine and entire right side (under my right armpit I tend to shrink as well). I have found during the last year that my issue had something to do with a brain-body connection (proprioception). My body is going into a pattern that makes my hip do that, because my brain is perceiving the ground beneath me not accurately, and it is activating the wrong muscles as I stand, walk, sit and even lie down. I have done PT before to no avail, I go to the chiropractor every month to get adjusted, which helps, but it doesn’t cure me, and what I found is this place in Nebraska called the Postural Restoration Institute, which does work on my issue. I have not gone to Nebraska, but I have worked with a trainer certified by PRI, and have found great improvement. I was told to get my eyesight checked, to see if there are differences in how I perceive the ground between one eye and the other (it’s a double vision test that you can get for both eyes). I was also told to get orthotics so that my arches can sense the ground and activate my glutes, and heels can activate my hamstrings. I also do a few techniques everyday to work on strengthening my left hamstring and right gluteus medium. Yet the thing that has helped me the most is buying a balancing board, and I stand on it as I do the dishes or watch tv, to strengthen the muscles my brain doesn’t usually activate (which help with the the alignment between ankle, knee, hip). Once I started balancing on the balancing board, some muscles immediately became a lot stronger, particularly my core, it was amazing. I am sure that we are dealing with different issues, but I offer to you the things I have done and have found to have helped, in case they can do the same for you. I know that when I am down, when the pain comes and I feel hopeless, all I look for are possible solutions. I have thrown spaghetti to the wall over the last 10 years to see what sticks, and these things have stuck. I’d feel bad if I didn’t share them with you, in case they could help you. Best wishes in your journey, and I hope things get better. You are a kind person that brings joy to all your viewers, who doesn’t deserve this. I am rooting for you!

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Hi! I wanted to say thank you so much for your thoughtful comment and for sharing the things you've found to be helpful! ❤❤ I really, really appreciate that and am glad you've been able to strengthen your muscles and find help through the balance board. I actually never would have thought of doing that, but it makes sense! I know that most people (with or without scoliosis) can tend to favor one side and stand / sit in the same position too, which causes muscle imbalances over time. This is something I've tried to be aware of, and to work on standing or sitting in the opposite way as I normally would. :) Thank you again for your sweet message and all of the help and advice you've given!

[@victoriat.2093]

Don’t think there’s something wrong with you or it has to do with your lack of faith if you aren’t exactly “healed” or things don’t go how you want them to go-God sometimes allows certain things to be so He can use it for His glory and to do an amazing work in your life! For example, sometimes God uses suffering and “bad” things in our life to build our character, our faith, to work certain things out in us, to show us something, etc., just like with many people in the bible like Joseph and Job :) He is in full control of everything! “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:28‬ ‭ “And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭5:3-5‬ ‭ “After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.” ‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭5:10‬ ‭

[@microunicorn3633]

Is your back any straighter yet?

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

I am still standing on God's promises and believing for a full healing. :)

[@jaybarnes3300]

How does a person with Down's Syndrome delete their extra chromosome through faith? That was a serious question. Have you seen genetic illness reversed? My friend has cerebral palsy, will all his gene sequences change? And if it takes faith to be healed what happens when intellectual disability prevents someone from understanding the concept of God at all? Millions in the world have no ability to know God and pray, they are prisoner to a non functioning mind

[@HoppinglyEverAfter]

Hi Jay! Those are all very good and genuine questions to ask. I wish I had the answers to share with you, but I don't understand it all either. It's hard to understand why some people are healed and others are not. It's hard to understand how faith works exactly. I struggle with those same questions too, so you aren't alone. If we study the Bible though, we can see that Jesus healed people from all sorts of infirmities and diseases. He healed fevers, chronic blood issues, leprosy, and even raised people from the dead. If He can do those seemingly impossible things, than healing a genetic illness would be no different and certainly no harder for Him to do. Scripture says it only takes faith the size of a mustard seed. Now when it comes to intellectual disabilities and whether or not a person can understand faith, that's something that is too big for my human, finite mind to understand. So I will leave that up to God. But I wholeheartedly believe that God is fair and just. He knows whether a person has the capacity to understand Him or not. It's unfortunate that we live in a fallen world, due to sin. This means everything is not how God intended it to be. There is sickness, disease, and imperfection in this world. We all have our different struggles. He doesn't promise that our lives will be free of trials or tribulations, but He does promise to carry us through them. If there is anything else I can help with or pray for, please let me know. ❤ My heart goes out to your friend and to all who are suffering with any type of illness, sickness, or disease. I definitely don't have all the answers, but I still choose to believe that God is good. He has shown His goodness time and time again. Hugs!