hello everyone! Thank you sooooo much for watching and commenting! As you know, I spent my 21st Birthday in hospital, but this year I was so so happy that I spent it at home with my family, having the best day ever! I made a vlog of my birthday this year on my other channel (please subscribe if you haven't already - lots more videos on there!) so you could watch that video if you'd like to: kzbin.info/www/bejne/g5yqZmlraMSBgJI I am so so happy, and truly can't believe how amazing life is! Thank you for being on this journey with me, and for watching my experience! Thank you again! x
@nathaliekluken94784 жыл бұрын
Elzani such a wonderfull transformation mentall and physicall. Keep on going Elzani for you and your family.
@angelinadram11274 жыл бұрын
Are you going to make a video about your impatient experience
@RagmaticalRachel4 жыл бұрын
@fortunaburke20974 жыл бұрын
oh Elzani, Im so glad you're so much better, you're so lovely and your family love you so much, well done Xx
@katie_dolly59674 жыл бұрын
Hey lovely!! Had a good few weeks since your birthday? Are you still putting together the documentary about your 2nd part of 'rehab' as it were? The first one was definitely the most real and raw documentary ever made on the issue! Much love x x x
@Mfox-xy4vj4 жыл бұрын
Your mother is the most incredible woman. Your father, out of this world.
@nonamelol69394 жыл бұрын
is the father good or bad?
@hj65074 жыл бұрын
@@nonamelol6939 he's a superb example of a father. She's so incredibly blessed to have people willing to help her in this battle
@xcheriia4 жыл бұрын
Her parents are truly admirable. How calm and supportive they were. If I would see my child like this, hear her talk the way she did, I think I would just break down.
@camihl38414 жыл бұрын
@@nonamelol6939 He's amazing.
@rachaelburt17374 жыл бұрын
Elzani father is very honest. When Elzani said that she got shouted at from the nurses because she walked to the bathroom, a lot of parents would be angry at the nurses but the fact that her dad said it was because they were worried about her health. They are both amazing and Elzani you are beautiful lovely!
@kiyesimons4754 жыл бұрын
when she showed her body a week before she was in the hospital my jaw dropped. i literally couldn’t believe it. i’m so proud of her for surviving that.
@Mandapanda.4 жыл бұрын
I started to tear up. I have bulimia horrifically for 14 years . I don’t go a day without binging or purging 15-20 times a day. I look normal to the eye but I am terribly sick :(
@hopefullsinner31864 жыл бұрын
@@Mandapanda. you need help Amanda. You need to bring these issues into the light. Tell those whom care most about you. These issues are caused by our way of thinking. The battle is one of thoughts.
@itzelramz4 жыл бұрын
That was so hard to watch.
@bluna45054 жыл бұрын
Same, I think I sat there for a whole minute with my mouth wide open because I've never seen a body this malnourished, I'm glad she's doing better now
@wouldntyouliketoknowweathe91454 жыл бұрын
Amanda Stuchlik I talked to my freind about my bulimia (early on, I’m much better now) and I was sobbing. The school counselor walked by and asked if I was ok, and I said yes, though I obviously was not, and she walked on. Wow, love the American school system.
@Tealinia2 жыл бұрын
To answer your question on why they wouldn't give you extra food, it's because it can cause something called "refeeding syndrome," which is where too much food is introduced back to a malnourished person too quickly. The spike in electrolytes can cause seizures, heart failure, and comas. It could potentially kill you. Besides that, though, I'm super proud of you for beating such an insidious illness, and I wish you all the best in the future, Elzani!
@Ava_Orchid Жыл бұрын
I also thought refeeders until she mentioned she was on a 5000 kcal diet (though that may have been her perception) And while refeeders is associated more with carbohydrates I have a difficult time imagining a 5k kcal diet sans carbs especially with semolina puddings. Even if it was her perception that introduced it being 5k kcal 6 meals complete with dessert etc still doesnt sound like a refeeding protocol. I feel like maybe this was more of a pump and dump type hospital rather than a focused treatment center. They may simply have not been interested in dealing with it at all.
@zsofia.x11 ай бұрын
Oh WOW, i have suffered from this as a tween and i never understood why they didn’t give me lots of good
@Virg-jr4rk10 ай бұрын
I would like to have heard her state comprehension for the food restrictions. I would like to have her state that staff explained that to her as part of a compliance plan. What is missing here?
@alalune9 ай бұрын
Exactly! This happened when jews were saved from concentration camps
@fevertree19578 ай бұрын
You brave brave girl showing the absolute truth of Annorexia, so glad for your recovery & health now...hope you and your wonderful parents can now enjoy life & move forward. X
@AJJFOUND2 жыл бұрын
If my mum was in the same position your parents were in, she would only make me feel worse about myself. Your parents are angels and they seem so supportive of you! Bless you and your family 🤍🤍🤍
@user-ve6nl5zr5t Жыл бұрын
I’m so scared for when i eventually get hospitalized for how my mum will react. Seeing this parents made me tear up.
@noniea9663 Жыл бұрын
@@user-ve6nl5zr5t I’m sending love and prayers your way. Please don’t let your fear of how your mum will react affect your reaching out for help. Your life is on the line. 💐🌺🪷🌸🌼🌻
@kristiericson1365 Жыл бұрын
When I was diagnosed with anorexia, my mother said the doctors are quacks and I don’t think I’m fat. I just thought, great, now you know my thoughts. It took my decades to get better.
@AJJFOUND Жыл бұрын
@@kristiericson1365 I’m so sorry that happened. Its hard having draining thoughts and people that encourage them when you’re trying to get better🤍🤍🤍 i hope you are okay now and live a peaceful healthy life💖💖💝🌺🌺🌺🌺
@amandastein62479 ай бұрын
My parents too, always made me feel worse about myself, and I have borderline personality disorder and severe Crohn’s disease. My mother was anorexic and 85lbs (7 stone). She used her eating disorder as a weapon because she was so ill.
@jamieee13474 жыл бұрын
I love your dad so much. He doesn't sugarcoat his words, so straightforward, yet is still comforting and non-judgmental. He deserves more recognition to be honest 🤍
@Mandapanda.4 жыл бұрын
So lucky for that support. My family tries so hard, but in the worst way. They aren’t gentle at all. I’m old now (34) and I’ve had this Ed for mostvmy life but bulimia for 14 straight year. Horrific. Binge purge 15-20 times a day :( I’m so so sick and the resources suck where I live
@niecedspain35684 жыл бұрын
Amanda Stuchlik I’m sure they don’t know what to say. I’m sure they thought trying to sugarcoat didn’t work and now they are desperate and afraid. Family feel like their lives are on hold just as much as yours is. Even when you feel like you’re fine they worry every day that they will get a call saying your in the hospital or worse! No one just knows how to deal with this!
@annagreene74964 жыл бұрын
Amanda Stuchlik you need to tell someone. or take yourself to the hospital. whatever form of it it is, you need to get help.
@Tamsin_bear4 жыл бұрын
Amanda Stuchlik I’m sorry, EDs are awful. I’ve been bulimic for only a year but it’s destroying me and my team literally don’t know what to do with me. I’m probably going to be discharged soon and I’m still bulimic as fuck 😞 I hope things improve for you 💛
@angelicaeats61174 жыл бұрын
I wish I had a dad like this.
@mimimosa2594 жыл бұрын
Her parents were so strong too. To have to listen to your little girl begging to come home but you know it’s in her best interest to stay in hospital.
@maddiemarlenemakeup83724 жыл бұрын
Yes it made me cry because it reminded me of my mom when I was actively using…
@princedallas44103 жыл бұрын
it made me cry because that's what i did to my dad when i attempted.
@zofiar47533 жыл бұрын
Yeah, they were amazing
@sofiab.91293 жыл бұрын
But she is an adult. How could they make her stay there?
@kalemaxwell3 жыл бұрын
@@sofiab.9129 I think that’s what made it so emotionally difficult for them and they must have made a pact to be strong. The way they were able to make her is because she lives at their house and they must have said she can’t come home. And she also wanted to make them proud. I would have such a hard time leaving my child begging to come home like that. I would do it but, man!
@MsMckenzie201110 ай бұрын
As someone who’s suffered with an eating disorder in the past and who now has a daughter, seeing you say you hate yourself broke my heart into pieces! Because I saw myself in you at that moment. And I thought, if my daughter ever said that how absolutely heartbroken I’d be. You’re so brave x
@myreasonforlife.951110 ай бұрын
It hurts, like yr heart dried right up in yr chest . The fetynenol problem is worse, our poor kids. Litterly there getting this stuff off of S. Chat, F. b. Where ever, please pay attention to yr children I'm a widow because of it, $10.00 took my love away from me and our girls. Stay safe and educated. 🤍🕊️🤍
@kristinebrown4147 ай бұрын
Looking back on what you went through, would you say you were manipulative? I have a theory that this is all for attention and the need to make people worry about you. People that don't have loved ones are not anorexic. I don't ask to be mean, I also suffered for a min from bulimia, but that was cuz I was chubby and wanted to lose weight, nobody cared so I stopped. If your daughter were to do this would you give her all this attention and praise her or would you tell her to get over it? I really am curious. And if you decide to respond please be honest. Besides wanting to be thin, after you got there why did you continue? I think we should treat them like drug addiction and stop rewarding bad behavior. These people strive for attention and we give it to them cuz they are " sick". It's not like cancer. Please really think about this and let me know what your views are... thanks!!!
@goodamy15 ай бұрын
luckily shes recovered now and doing really well
@GamingForGeeks3 ай бұрын
@@kristinebrown414Are you dumb? Literally anorexic ppl have died or almost died like her and u think it's for attention? The support and attention you give to someone going through alot makes a difference in their recovery . Also you comparing this to drugs is outrageous . Drug addicts choose to do drugs to forget or jb they want to . Anorexics develop a mental disorder that causes them to not think rationally . This may not be cancer but it's still a sickness . Ur "theory" is 100% BS .
@THETRUTH_ST1NGS2 ай бұрын
@@kristinebrown414 I also had anorexia and for one I’d say that it isn’t for people to worry about you. In fact when I was sick that was the LAST thing I’d ever ever ever wanted. It comes from a place of insecurity within yourself, as well as bullying/crude comments that’s could be from strangers and even your own family members. The reason most like I continued is because we were so deprived from necessary nutrients and food that we couldn’t think straight, the view we have over ourselves is warped into something that isn’t right however we think we’re still chubby. Also known as severe body dysmorphia. This may not be the same from everyone that has had anorexia, or is suffering currently from anorexia. But this is my experience. And to your view, yes people suffering from anorexia are sick. People don’t say that for no reason, people suffering can literally die any second. It’s a mental and physical disorder. It may not be cancer but it’s still a serious form of sickness. And also your view point came across very rude and inconsiderate, I won’t lie. Advice, next time you share a view point deliver it so it doesn’t sound like you’re shaming someone with a mental/physical illness or disorder.
@kimhaggard60188 ай бұрын
I’ve been where you have been in the 1980’s, I was 76 pounds…spent a year in hospital too. Had 2 heart attacks in hospital because of I was so unnourished. I am 63 years old now and at a good weight. Proud of you! Keep it up ❤
@Nina_OliviaАй бұрын
Thanks for sharing your story. I hope you don’t mind me asking: Did the ED ever return in any capacity? Even though the worst of my condition occurred in the early 2000s, I find I’m vulnerable to it rearing its ugly head during periods of emotional turmoil. I guess I’ve still got it in the background somewhat, but it’s not destroying my life like before. Like you said, I keep myself at a good weight these days (albeit, I’m careful not to let the number get too high, as that would trigger a panic/relapse response).
@kimhaggard6018Ай бұрын
@@Nina_Olivia I have to say that it didn’t come back to the extreme that I was hospitalized again, but I have dealt with it since then. Someone told me once that even though someone is an alcoholic but has quit drinking they will always be alcoholic, so it’s the same for us that deal with anorexic, even though we have survived our ED we always seem to fight daily not to slip back into our comfortable way of letting it take over our mind with the endless thoughts of calories, food, body image etc. My ED stole years of my life and my families life, my husband and daughter basically lived without a wife and a mother for years because I was so worrying about being fat. All I can say is don’t let it steal away your life from you!
@sydneysovern4 жыл бұрын
This is better quality than any ED documentary I’ve seen
@detectiveclova50454 жыл бұрын
Ikr
@AndreaHa4 жыл бұрын
So vulnerable and raw. It was like being there with her. Such a brave girl.
@sydneysovern4 жыл бұрын
Andrea Ha I know, I’m having to watch in like 30 min sections bc it’s so intense
@the.katatak4 жыл бұрын
Has anyone ever seen "Emma Wants to Live?" Sad story, beautifully told.
@ollie2184 жыл бұрын
first hand accounts are always better than a story telling.
@svetlanalerner10594 жыл бұрын
Your Mum actually deserves a Nobel Prize of being the most supportive, patient and understanding mum in the world
@ohmycat41204 жыл бұрын
I honestly wish my parents were like that, I’m Latina and they don’t understand mental illness. When I admitted to my ED my dad got mad and would force me to eat when I would be crying. I hated it and he acts like he’s the hero that saved me from my ED, my mom would get mad but she would just tell me to eat more. Wish Latino parents understood mental illness more and that it’s not just an “excuse”.
@ohmycat41204 жыл бұрын
Ghost thank you ♥️
@Brokendreams774 жыл бұрын
Yes 100%
@keshicrawford41774 жыл бұрын
Shout out to your dad aswell! He told you some hard truths but you needed the support they both gave you. I'm so thankful that they fought for you ❤
@SamSam-cg5up4 жыл бұрын
Cant agree more.. Let's give Elzani Mum a BIG WARM N KISS💓
@hiswillbedone6422 жыл бұрын
The minute you decided to film your journey you took back your power….. well done girl, you are an inspiration.
@ravenbloodommo6 ай бұрын
Her mother called the police on Jaklyn for taking her to rehab and pulled her out and promised she would take her back to rehab but she lied. her mother paid Shane when she was in rehab to keep the you tube thing going, there is high motive with charges for exploitation of her daughter's 21 thousand to 400,00 she makes with her channel. because her mother paid shane for the interview interrupting her healing bringing her home so she can do more videos. Gina is brainwashed by her mother so she will go with any story her mother makes up. her mother had her sign the form so her mother gets full responsibility over Eugina's decisions and monies, any info is appreciated thank you.
@JohnHope-tt3jx5 ай бұрын
@@ravenbloodommowho r u talking about
@pixi1114 ай бұрын
@@JohnHope-tt3jxi think he got mistaken her with Eugenia Cooney
@AcidOnTheStreetАй бұрын
@@JohnHope-tt3jx Probably Eugina cooney, but why here I don't know. I think they should shut down Eugina, she just glorifies the most deadly psychiatric disorder there is, extremely triggering. Have had bulimia for 15 years, half my life now,. hate seeing ppl like that but yeah her denial is huge. She's a sweet girl ofc but she shouldn't be on youtube/twitch, she should be in a hospital, she's soon dead, but yeah great money I guess. But guess youtube earns money by her so also. But god forbid someone says a swear word on a vid, or like the word for sexual assult, ppl saying SA instead, some vids even censor the word gun and murder. BOOM demonetized I guess if they don't. Should shut down nicocado avocado also, he's also killing himself for views and money.
@lisachatham86903 жыл бұрын
You are lucky to still be alive. My best friend in high school died from anorexia. She was in the hospital and kept pulling out the IV's and feeding tubes so they put them into her jugler vein and when she pulled those out she bled to death. She was 5'6" tall and weighed 43 pounds when she was rushed to hospital because she collapsed. I miss her everyday!!!!
@mariereneagonzalez2 жыл бұрын
😭😭😭😭😭😭 R.I.P that’s very sad and sound distressing
@leannbrown87822 жыл бұрын
That’s horrific, I’m so sorry.
@jesterdoii Жыл бұрын
Oh my god. That sounds so traumatic, I’m so sorry.
@alyssarodriguez4041 Жыл бұрын
Wow this is traumatizing as fuck to hear I can’t even imagine how hard that must of been for you actually knowing her
@jessicabellone9139 ай бұрын
Omg I am so sorry to hear about your friend. She sounds like she was struggling extremely badly. I can’t even begin to imagine. I’m sorry she experienced an excruciating demise. May she finally be free from her ailments and be resting in eternal peace ❤🙏
@WaterTaufu4 жыл бұрын
Now THAT’s what I call a documentary. Raw and real. You should get an award for it
@Lniy.4 жыл бұрын
It's what millions of people in this world go through every day. Some nearly dying, and the others starting an eating disorder
@maureenrivas33223 жыл бұрын
Yawn.
@zacstewart67793 жыл бұрын
I agree
@theinvisiblegirl25013 жыл бұрын
@@maureenrivas3322 ?
@thyop893 жыл бұрын
@@maureenrivas3322 Quite frankly, this documentary is astonishing. If you find yourself bored. it's simply because you lack a soul.
@egypt42144 жыл бұрын
“I just want to go home... I just want to have breakfast and be like Mum let’s have breakfast” “You didn’t have breakfast you had coffee” That broke me. This raw footage truly depicts two views of an Ed- from the victim and their family. She couldn’t see how sick she had gotten- Anorexia distorted her views to make it seem like she was happy with the life she was living
@barbarabrumen35914 жыл бұрын
Mohraeil she also said that because she wanted to leave the hospital. So she was saying to mum I can leave hospital and just have breakfast with you tomorrow.
@lambsbecomelions054 жыл бұрын
I thought this too! When my sister was suffering really badly with anorexia she used to say things in this way x
@elisabeth_kawaii65184 жыл бұрын
Dad knew he was having a conversation with the eating disorder and not with his daughter. Every time she plays the "guildtrip" on her familymembers (breakfast with mom, granny's ricepudding etc), it's the eating disorder talking, not her. And it is very hard for a parent to understand and hear the difference. Her dad is an absolute champion!
@user-sf9gs2pg1b3 жыл бұрын
@@elisabeth_kawaii6518 Wow, I feel like there should be a class on this sort of stuff. Maybe there is... I mean, that’s a good way of looking at it. To see it as you’re not talking to your daughter, but their mental illness.
@ohwellwhateverr3 жыл бұрын
This needs to win a BAFTA or Oscar, honestly. I have no experience of eating disorders and so seeing how frail your body was next to clips of you insisting that you weren’t ill really just goes to show how terrible this disease is and how it puts your mind and body at war with each other. This is the most raw and honest depiction I’ve seen of what EDs are actually like and the effects they have on both the person suffering from it and their loved ones. So, so glad you made it through Elzani. You’re an incredibly strong person
@aleksandram9812 жыл бұрын
To show you how scary Anorexia is.. I watched this as an Anorexic and when she was admitted all I saw her as was skinny. That’s it. This is how it kills us! We don’t see what you see!! Well more so our brain looks at it completely different andddd I shouldn’t be watching these videos to trigger myself to not go to hospital (gives me flashbacks of me crying in recovery last time I went and just wanting to go HOME and then I remember I AM home and I’m NOT going).. it’s a trigger and I’m an idiot 😫
@ohwellwhateverr2 жыл бұрын
@@aleksandram981 It definitely messes with perception. I’ve heard that there’s a lot of research being done into how disorders like anorexia could be due to a deficit in right-side brain function. Under brain scans, people with OCD, autism, body dysmorphia/dysphoria etc all seem to display abnormal inactivity in the right side of the brain which moderates perception, self-image and proportion. Hopefully this knowledge can lead us to a cure. I hope you’re doing well in your recovery! 🧡
@larissa_7729 Жыл бұрын
Agreed this deserves a BAFTA
@ravenbloodommo6 ай бұрын
Her mother called the police on Jaklyn for taking her to rehab and pulled her out and promised she would take her back to rehab but she lied. her mother paid Shane when she was in rehab to keep the you tube thing going, there is high motive with charges for exploitation of her daughter's 21 thousand to 400,00 she makes with her channel. because her mother paid shane for the interview interrupting her healing bringing her home so she can do more videos. Gina is brainwashed by her mother so she will go with any story her mother makes up. her mother had her sign the form so her mother gets full responsibility over Eugina's decisions and monies, any info is appreciated thank you.
@user-sy6fj2bm1z5 ай бұрын
I’m confused because when I was in hospital with anorexia I was just scared of getting fat. I wanted to go home only to lose weight again. I couldn’t eat all the chocolates she ate without feeling guilty. She was eating ice cream and loved the taste of all foods. I don’t quite understand because it sounds like it was less of a mental illness than physical. I was hungry all the time, but still didn’t eat. I was sectioned. I was hospitalized 3 times and several months with each inpatient stay. Also she has a wonderful support system from her family. I basically went into hospital to get away from mine. I had a lot of trauma which was the result from my anorexia. I was seventeen years old with my first inpatient stay and I’m now sixty years old and still struggling with this disease. There’s a few that don’t fully recover.
@colleenmcbride36562 жыл бұрын
I was able to hold it together until her dad said "Well done, brave girl." Such amazing parents!
@lie82304 жыл бұрын
I think the part that broke me was when u said “I can’t even have cake”. You could hear the pain because it seemed like you really truly wanted to eat but was so far into it you couldn’t.
@julife.ka.38994 жыл бұрын
Yes, i also have eating disorders and yes you do want it but it feels... It's feels humilliating to want food at times, and sometimes the dread hat comes after eating is worse than not eating. Eating disorders mess with the chemicals in your brain, it's like you are on drugs, you might feel like the best and te absolute worst, everything hurts and you feel so much like crap that you are and you percieve everyone else as aggressive, so they offering you food it's an attack! But then, everyone else behaves 'normal' and you just don't know what's that anymore. I'm sorry i'm ranting lol
@Ella-ps1lg4 жыл бұрын
She said ages ago the hospital staff wouldn't let her have cake as she had to follow their meal plan.I know it sounds bonkers that an anorexic wasn't allowed to eat - but It's because of the risk of re feeding syndrome, I don't know much about it, but some people have gone into more detail below. x
@ilovesaladsngl4 жыл бұрын
Oh absolutely that's a part of it. The more you want something, the more you restrict yourself
@megberts40694 жыл бұрын
I cried when her mum was like ‘we won’t have any either’ sometimes the smallest acts of solidarity say and mean the most
@Mandapanda.4 жыл бұрын
Elizabeth Bryant you get so angry at yourself for wanting something like that.
@rogat97754 жыл бұрын
Also when you said “three people died next to me whilst I was in hospital”..... my jaw dropped. I had never considered that being something you would have to experience. I am so sorry, you are so brave.
@stkargronskog98824 жыл бұрын
Really bad...
@lexilane55354 жыл бұрын
Me and my mom where in hospital and anywhere between 6 to 8 people died in the week we where there. It was very bad
@rainbow51844 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry 😭
@amelie68774 жыл бұрын
RoGat where?
@amelie68774 жыл бұрын
Star well,they died next to her,and it could’ve been her if she wouldn’t have gone to the hospital
@haleymcgannon166910 ай бұрын
I wonder how many people are here watching now…with the surge of Eugenia Cooney, watching this really helped me understand this horrible disease more. I’m so proud of you for being strong enough to get the help and accepting the help..I hope Eugenia sees this and gets help too before it’s too late…
@cheathamama10 ай бұрын
Me, it’s been so hard watching poor Eugenia wither away and now mocking her audience for caring about her. She’s in as bad of shape as this poor girl was when she was so close to death. I’m so happy this beautiful soul got help. Can only hope Eugenia does too before it’s too late.
@roseyvision9 ай бұрын
Yeah I'm watching 'cause of that too.
@amandastein62479 ай бұрын
EC is very close to death 😢
@jessica.bartlett63529 ай бұрын
@@amandastein6247 everytime i see her she looks smaller than before. im always trying to be nice but my comments are probably drowned in the negative ones.
@Beach_flower8 ай бұрын
I’m here thinking of Eugenia as well. This is the only other person I’ve seen that looks as absolutely terrifyingly sick as EC. It’s eye opening to see how she couldn’t see she was ill and makes me realize why EC is always saying she’s fine. To see how serious the doctors took this girl’s health is also terrifying, EC really could die at any minute 😭😭😭
@ourcorrectopinions68245 ай бұрын
I noticed you deleted most of your recent IG posts talking poorly about yourself, beating yoruself up and getting too focused on body pics & workout goal of 5x a week (which is a LOT). I just wanna say I'm proud of you for removing that stuff and hopefully catching yourself from slipping into disordered thoughts. The negative self-talk was concerning above all. Hope to see you upload normal life again soon.
@likejohnnyandjune20244 жыл бұрын
They restricted how much food you were introduced to because of refeeding syndrome. Food was a foreign object to your body and it could have made you really sick to have as much as you wanted. I know it seems backwards but that's why. They do the same thing to treat people who are victims of famine.
@laramaaike30504 жыл бұрын
Ah, thanks for explaining, I already wondered why she couldn't have a piece of her bd-cake. It make sense.
@RonryAsAlways4 жыл бұрын
I've been through it and it's the worst. Ensure and carnation breakfast essentials saved my life, and soda lol
@blahblahchachaable4 жыл бұрын
When I visited the public hospital in my country and asked for help for my anorexia (I was 176cm tall and ~40kg) they said they couldn’t help me cuz their nutritionists were only trained for bulimia and not for anorexia (like wot?!) but she agreed to help. Idiot made me a meal plan that had no fat/carbohydrates just Mediterranean Diet that you give to old men with cholesterol problems but she doubled the amounts from every meal. Short story I was throwing up nonstop, not because I wanted to and eating was so painful. I did managed to gain weight, i started contraceptives which have weight gain as an effect, my mum always had food around me that was actually very heavy in carbohydrates and fat xD and then hahahahaha within 5 years I went from 40 to 93 hahahahahaha thankfully now I am at a healthy weight of 58-60 and much lose skin on my arms and stretch marks here and there, even behind my knees
@moniqueisbananas4 жыл бұрын
Mavrokattou h Prwti 58-60 in what measurement?
@blahblahchachaable4 жыл бұрын
@@moniqueisbananas kg, i've talked in kg and cms in my post
@schaniramico78734 жыл бұрын
Your parents are just the sweetest and most supportive angels on that world
@aidaasadova974 жыл бұрын
There is so much pain in your fathers eyes
@sarawawa89842 жыл бұрын
“I didn’t realize how small my life had become….I just spent years shrinking myself” I don’t know why but that hit me hard. I don’t have an ED but I have other mental illnesses and I can feel myself shrinking away from everyone and everything
@kab18862 ай бұрын
Just reading your comment now, years later, I hope from the bottom of my heart that you have found some peace or at least a way to cope. Sending you love and strength stranger :) you're not alone, things can get better x
@mollymaclean99572 жыл бұрын
I generally avoid ‘my anorexia story’ videos as I think they’re unhelpful, triggering, glamorising etc… but this is different. Elizani you are amazing my darling, you and your life are so very precious. May you find happiness and peace with yourself. You’ve come so far and since this video you have gone even further. I am proud of you, your family most definitely are and I am sure that you are too. Keep fighting you incredible, beautiful girl! And I love your parents, they are beautiful beautiful people and their love and way of being with you really, really touched me. I can only aspire to be as loving as them one day. ❤️❤️❤️
@maximilianrosenberg90314 жыл бұрын
My sister had anoerxia too. she was skinny like you...now she is dead. she died suddenly on a heart attack. we never never never thought how many woman dies on anorexia. the long time when she eats nothing was to much for her organs. we miss her
@LingLing-pn3us4 жыл бұрын
Isabella 22 My fiend franchesa organs are failing and she has anorexia. but she’s trying to get better
@JessicaGarcia-cc5yz4 жыл бұрын
Isabella 22 oh my goodness god bless you and your family let her live on forever have a Lovley Christmas x
@JessicaGarcia-cc5yz4 жыл бұрын
西施小狗Ling Ling may the lord strengthen you
@lol-mx5ux4 жыл бұрын
I‘m so sorry💔
@georgia85924 жыл бұрын
❤❤❤
@karenvincent52024 жыл бұрын
It is like being an alcoholic - you will always be "recovering". Don't ever let yourself get into that shape again.
@mrs.elentz23364 жыл бұрын
I'm a recovering prescription drug addict... and you're right, but if you think about it, I think this would be way more difficult to overcome not that I'm minimizing my or anyone else's experiences. Could you imagine being an alcoholic but you have to consume alcohol to survive at healthy amounts and how difficult that'd be?! I can't even fathom that. I have so much respect & admiration to those who have beaten their eating disorders like this young woman!!
@TheFindingMiah4 жыл бұрын
Elizabeth H i have struggled with opiate addiction and anorexia...a little different beasts and i will admit the eating disorder thoughts still gets me waaay more often than the addict ones.
@IH8COMERCIALRNB4 жыл бұрын
@@mrs.elentz2336 O yes, definetely, it's easy to relapse into anorexia. Because temptation is always there. I guess it's like cravings, but not for something, for the lack of something. I guess obesity would be craving food in excess, and it the opposite side of the spectrum.
@Lindsey.-.4 жыл бұрын
Except you have to eat. You don’t have to drink alcohol to live.
@BamBabyBrenda3 жыл бұрын
@@Lindsey.-. bruh, you dont understand
@christinaprn Жыл бұрын
I can’t imagine having so much love and support. My parents didn’t give a damn about me and were abusive and neglectful. You have no idea how fortunate you are to have parents who love you like that.
@sandraleyland874810 ай бұрын
Even your sisters come regularly to give you love and support
@sabineliebehenz44929 ай бұрын
I hope you succeeded on your own. I had to learn as well, that I only have one person in my life and that’s me.
@lidiysmith80919 ай бұрын
This documentary is award winning 🥇 🎉 she definitely needs some recognition and notoriety for this !
@sarahmottram33698 ай бұрын
Recognition....yes...notoriety... no...
@BilSill4 жыл бұрын
So this is what it's like having parents who love you and believe in you
@ongogablogean49204 жыл бұрын
That’s what I’m thinking while watching this. She has amazing parents. My family is so screwed up and I always admire when people have close relationships
@stefanie01583 жыл бұрын
@@ongogablogean4920 same but if someone in our small family is sick especially badly then everyone is there for them cause we love each other despite all the constant fights and screaming and even hatred sometimes we don't have a close relationship with each other but we're always there for each other if that makes sense. I hope it all gets better for u and ur family. Every family has problems some worst than others but it will all turn out fine eventually
@stefanie01583 жыл бұрын
@Nicole it will get better I hope .my family wasn't always like this we've been through a tough period where there was constant and extreme abuse and it was awful I had no relationship with my dad and mom and we had a lot of hatred . But it took a loot of years for our family to heal from that period and have a stronger bond it takes a lot of time . However I really hope it will get better for u one day even if u're going through a horrible time with ur family now it might actually get better I hope so ❤
@user-sf9gs2pg1b3 жыл бұрын
My parents are so nice to me, even when I’m incredibly mean to them. I’m actually hell on earth :( They did get a little shaky when I came out as trans and got on hormones and surgery, just because they don’t like trans people, but they slowly adapted. A lot of crying on their part made it difficult on me, but they were grieving for my past self.
@BilSill3 жыл бұрын
@Vi H yeah, I really want to be a loving and supporting parent, but I'm afraid that I won't know exactly how to do that because I've never experienced it
@vadahaglund90014 жыл бұрын
the fact that you didn't want all the attention to be all on you so it doesn't affect your siblings is heartbreaking honestly
@kiiwiifuzzzz4 жыл бұрын
I related to this so hard. She just didn't want to upset the house hold. She thinks being home is the best way to keep things normal but things have to get worse so they can get better. It's just the hardest pill to swallow. The guilt from feeling like you uprooted anything at all is something I've feared my whole life. It's poison! I'm glad she stuck through it. Her parents deserve recognition more than anyone I've ever seen
@sil01754 жыл бұрын
kiiwiifuzzzz same, I struggle with bulimia and I have two little siblings and I fear that if my mom finds out my siblings are gonna hate me because I would get attention and they’re use to have all the attention
@jessicabellone9139 ай бұрын
It’s been 3 years since you posted this video and I wonder how you are doing now in 2023? Thank you for sharing your difficult journey with us. It is extremely brave of you. Although I do not suffer from an ED, I am an addict in recovery for nearly 4 years. It’s amazing how similar our struggles are even though our addictions are very different. I’m wishing you all the best and to anyone who is struggling with something similar…It’s ok to ask for help. You are worthy of a better life. A life that is not filled with constant obsessions. A beautiful and fulfilling life. You are loved. You are important and your life matters more than you’ll ever know! Xo ❤
@demi81779 ай бұрын
She has a new channel elzani singleton is her channel
@fromikea85628 ай бұрын
if you haven't checked that out, on her ig, she's looking healthier and happier! I think she's traveling the world it seems?
@crimeao8 ай бұрын
proud of you for being in recovery! the biggest blessing you can give to your family is to stop drug use. my mother and i have a horrible relationship because she chooses to stay an addict and not get help, you are so strong
@rishibeauty8889 Жыл бұрын
I am an anorexic/bulimic Ive had it for 30 years. I have been in and out of hospital many times. I feel bad for all they put her through. Some programs are better than others. This is the most raw & most true look at what life is like when you are trying to recover. Bravo for surviving!!! I remember having a nurse by me to what me eat then sat with me for 30 min after to make sure I didnt go vomit. This is one of the most evil illnesses! It stays with you & wants you to die. This is not a dx for attention. Once it grabs you, it doesnt let go. You WANT to eat, but the thought of loosing control MAKES you not eat. It is the monster that controls you. I am so proud of you!! You put the work in & you are getting better. I still hear the monster from time to time but most of the time I can keep it away.
@anovemberstar4 жыл бұрын
the reason why you cant be given more to eat is because to do so, you could literally drop dead - its called re-feeding syndrome - when you begin eating, after starvation, your body changes form a ketone to carbohydrate metabolism; massive electrolyte imbalances occur, as phosphate depletion occurs - she would have been having daily (or more) blood tests, constant blood pressures (standing and lying / sitting) ECGs, phosphate supplements, and other electrolytes. it requires very close monitoring, hence why she was in a medical ward initially, not a eating disorder unit. It also why she couldnt walk anywhere - yes, even the simple exertion of walking a few metres to the toilet can result in cardiac arrest. you do not have to be very thin to get re-feeding syndrome either - it can occur at any weight, and from only a few days without food in some cases. They probably explained it to her at the time, but as she said, your brain is so messed up, it wouldn't have registered.
@sarahhughes15054 жыл бұрын
Was literally about to comment this, experienced refeeding syndrome myself and nearly died during the early stages of recovery as my outpatient meal plan was increased too quickly.
@tvoymasik4 жыл бұрын
Queen Bee refeeding syndrome doesn’t happen to normal weight people after a few days of not eating but it can happen if you’re not eating anything for 7 plus days
@anovemberstar4 жыл бұрын
@@tvoymasik More vulnerable people, it can occur after 5 days - or however long it takes that particular person's metabolism to become ketonic, and how their particular body responds to carbohydrates after.
@pr43234 жыл бұрын
Why didn’t the doctor explain this to her tho??? Like
@anovemberstar4 жыл бұрын
@@pr4323 the drs very very likely DID. Probably many times - she said it herself - her brain was not capable of thinking properly. Very common in starvation - the neurons in your brain are covered in fat - when starved, the body even uses up those fat stores, leaving the neurons unable to transmit properly. That, in addition to the effects of low blood sugar / feeling faint
@Alanaskrausee4 жыл бұрын
This seriously needs to be a Netflix original. This documentary put me off on so many emotions 😩 Edit: holy shit this comment got so many likes 😳
@lucyrodriguez9714 жыл бұрын
Yes. It should be on trending as well.
@mommyslilstinker4 жыл бұрын
yikes.
@MissSweetieShortie4 жыл бұрын
6 minutes in and already crying
@Snickerdoods.x4 жыл бұрын
I wish I could dislike it 100 times because this is DANGEROUS content for a lot of people in recovery or pre-recovery but want to recover. Also perpetuates the idea that eating disorders have a certain look. I'd love a documentary about a woman who "looks normal" but is actually really struggling with an eating disorder because that is actually the majority of people. A very small percentage of folks who have eating disorders actually get to the point of being in such a small, emaciated body.
@MissSweetieShortie4 жыл бұрын
@@Snickerdoods.x this is so brave of her to do. Can you not?
@Fiona-sg9wh Жыл бұрын
The reason they may not have fed you as much as you wanted, wasn't that they were mean but because it's dangerous to feed a starving person too much too fast. Look up refeeding syndrome, that may help you understand. Good for you for surviving after being so sick. Your strong! To me you needed to have your decisions taken away. You needed to realize what you were doing. They kept you to save you.
@beckyshell464911 ай бұрын
I agree , when horses have been starved their bodies often shut down because their remaining energy and strength is used to process the food.Being held against your will and having no control over the most basic things is never going to be pleasant but it was necessary.
@urban_fox46588 ай бұрын
Absolutely ❤ I say that as a 13-year-in-recovery former pain pill addict
@Invisible.fatty99 Жыл бұрын
Gods. To have parents as dedicated as that. Please give them both a big hug. They’re so wonderful. I can’t imagine what recovery would have looked like with a support system like that. 🥺
@jaamtart37554 жыл бұрын
This video doesn't only show the physical side of anorexia but the real, dark and mental side as well. I've never experienced an ed but i'm so glad i found this video, you're very strong for sharing this with the world.
@redsparklyshoes74344 жыл бұрын
Started crying as soon as I heard her Dad talking trying to convince her to go into hospital, you could hear is heart breaking and trying to keep calm
@maddiemarlenemakeup83724 жыл бұрын
Yes literally that is when I started crying and I stopped crying when the video ended like oh my goodness! This is probably one of the best videos I’ve ever watched on KZbin.
@annalangston65673 жыл бұрын
When she was outside and that guy said "good on you, love" and touched her head, I welled up x
@sarararahhh2 жыл бұрын
I have truly never seen a mother more in tune with her daughters emotions in my life. there's honestly a very small group of individuals that were born to be wonderful parents and your mother is one of them, and your father! it's so refreshing to see two parents that are so patient and loving and willing to put their own needs aside completely for their child.
@skarletcharity4 жыл бұрын
It's crazy to hear her disease talking.
@oliviakelly38154 жыл бұрын
wdym whats it saying
@akwardturtle974 жыл бұрын
Olivia Kelly I think she means when she says things like I’m fine, I can get better at home, and when she thinks she’s fully better after a few weeks when she isn’t etc is the mental illness fuelling those thoughts
@skarletcharity4 жыл бұрын
@@akwardturtle97 that's exactly what I mean. When we're sick, our disease (addiction and eating disorders are very similar) will say literally anything to stay "alive". It is manipulative. The crying every single time her parents came to see her: manipulative. I dont think she intended to be manipulative, I think it was her disease doing everything in its power to get away from treatment and get back to what it does best: killing the host.
@marinaxlove4 жыл бұрын
Charity Changes Everything so so true. Eating disorders make one incredibly manipulative. It’s scary.
@Emma-zp1mz4 жыл бұрын
Charity Changes Everything yeah it’s mad. You can really see it, like when she’s saying to her sisters ‘don’t you want me home’ and it’s not intending to do anything she’s just desperate to get home, but her Ed is desperate to get back to disordered habits.
@thatgirl56304 жыл бұрын
I think people under estimate the power of “I love you, I’m so proud of you” that can make a person gather up so much strength to fight. I hope all parents tell their kids “I love you, we’re proud of you”
@kierasaurusfrost4 жыл бұрын
De Nile mine never said it to me either. If some outsider was complimenting me on something (like my grades or something), then my mom would be fake and be like “yep, I’m so proud of her, I raised her so well.” But like, no, I did that on my own with no support from you, mom.
@goodra9993 жыл бұрын
honestly i feel "I love you" is thrown around too much to the point some people forget the true meaning.
@brosiad7184 Жыл бұрын
I can’t imagine the worry those parents had that entire time. Thankfully she went. Taking everything away made her appreciate all the little things. My heart breaks for anyone who suffers with this illness. The fact that she was able to share this is amazing! I’m so proud of you! Keep up the good work. You will remain in my prayers ❤
@ileanamariani153810 ай бұрын
You know right parents are the man cause of EDs in their children... Either because of overbearing attitude, controlling helicopter parenting, or emotional neglect. Soooooo being sorry for the parents going through this, really?? What about the pain they caused their children, sending them through this?
@jiminisnotonfire712510 ай бұрын
@@ileanamariani1538what makes you think her parents were the cause? Don’t jump to conclusions blaming her parents when she never even mentioned that her parents were the ones who caused her to be like this.
@plumdutchess10 ай бұрын
@@ileanamariani1538 100% not true. Also, not the place for comments like this.
@mrzkriz10 ай бұрын
It is often caused by a trauma or traumatic event in a person's life. Anything from intense bullying at school from peers or sexual or physical abuse from someone outside of the family. There are cases where the parents contribute to the start of this disease but that is not the case in with a lot of people who develop this.
@katerinarouskova82329 ай бұрын
@@ileanamariani1538unsensitive comment. Did you miss the two healthy sisters?
@luvscats38 ай бұрын
My struggles have been more with alcoholism/drug addiction but I sounded the exact same when talking to my parents and trying to convince them I was ok and I didn’t need help. They were also loving and supportive just like your parents but tried to hold boundaries with me and help me to see how sick and deep in my addiction I actually was. I also spent my 21st birthday in rehab. This broke my heart and hit really close to home. At the same time I wanted to say how amazing this video is and that you’re a fighter and incredible!
@gh0strayyy8 ай бұрын
i was the same just with suicide and self harm, my sister used substances and has bpd so my mums been through it already with her, she’s 13 years older than me. i was honestly just screamed at, i was getting ‘help’ but it wasn’t even help. now i’m 6 months sh free and 16 months attempt free. i honestly done it all on my own
@fish-d64884 жыл бұрын
when her dad points out that she didn't have a life before hospitalization and she's genuinely surprised -- anorexia does such strange things to your memory. i have multiple months of complete blankness at my worst, and sometimes my wife, who helped me through it, will mention a terrible thing i said or did at the time, and i KNOW she's telling the truth -- but i have no memory of it, and it's usually something wildly irrational or out of character for me. elzani was far more ill than i ever was but the similarities in mindset between sufferers of all demographics and severities never fail to surprise me.
@kevitamaster-brewkombucha54723 жыл бұрын
Im so sorry youve gone through that. I hope you and your wife stay close❤️
@urdadscooking3 жыл бұрын
Me too. It has been four years since I was discharged, I am sixteen now, but it was extremely hard... and I can’t- I can’t think about my experience without crying and hating myself for it.
@fish-d64883 жыл бұрын
@@urdadscooking please try to cut yourself some slack. eating disorders are monsters that seek to ruin all our relationships and steal our future, and any harm you did while in its grasp wasn't the real you. while i think, as recovering/recovered people, we should definitely work to repair the damage our starving brains did, i don't think we're fully responsible, either.
@fish-d64883 жыл бұрын
@@kevitamaster-brewkombucha5472 four and a half years & counting! 💖 thank you
@bluebee72813 жыл бұрын
you must have an amazing wife to have helped you through all that, anorexia makes you such an annoying person I remember no one wanting to be around me when I was sick and I can't imagine someone loving me through that, best of luck to you tow 💛
@kailasmith74144 жыл бұрын
This must've been so hard for a parent. Their kid Begging and pleading to go home but they know what's best.
@margaretarachieru96784 жыл бұрын
I know right? I loove my parents soo much and still now I can't understand how I could suffer myself knowing that my parents are crying ecery day worried about me. I was so selfish...
@Steven-lz7on3 жыл бұрын
She was probably absolutely starving as well
@HannahRaeK Жыл бұрын
I personally have also struggled with anorexia and bulimia, though never to such a severe degree. All i can say is, you are a BADASS. you DID that. You’re still here after it all, AND you’re sharing some of the most validating and authentic material i have seen on social media. I can’t imagine the amount of courage it takes to share something so personal and intimate. thank you for sharing your story, and i am so glad you’re still here ❤
@elliegardiner56172 жыл бұрын
I wish I had a dad like yours who actually cares about my eating habits instead of making fun of them. I’m really glad you got help
@roro022 жыл бұрын
Me too
@litlpupup4 жыл бұрын
her parents caring for her so much is breaking my heart
@cherihedgepeth95824 жыл бұрын
Bless her ♡.
@lottie69204 жыл бұрын
I love how your parents remind you that it’s not you, it’s the illness. I don’t have an eating disorder but I have autism and anxiety and my dad used to think I was using it as an excuse and doing stuff on purpose, he’s much better now but I love your parents for that.
@kierasaurusfrost4 жыл бұрын
I’m glad your dad has gotten better about that. I have anxiety and depression and everyone in my family thinks I’m just being annoying and rebellious and stubborn when I don’t want to hang out with everybody or say I can’t muster up the energy to just go to the store or something. They call me lazy when I can’t get out of bed because they just don’t understand. Nice to know I’m not the only one
@lottie69204 жыл бұрын
Kiera Frost - I hope they begin to understand that none of it is your fault
@lottie69204 жыл бұрын
Dear Jacki - He is so much better now and understands majority of the time, thank you 🖤
@burnedflowers1414 жыл бұрын
@@lottie6920 I think most families react this way. They dont understand. Ignorance breeds them saying WHY CANT YOU JUST BE NORMAL, it's all a front for laziness and whatnot. I had social anxiety growing up and couldnt even leave the house. With time comes understanding :)
@genius26554 жыл бұрын
My parents are similar. They say that it's my choice, that I chose to skip the meals, that I made the decision to take laxatives. My Mum just says that I am manipulative and think 'ha fuck everyone, I'm fooling everyone around me'. She made me cry so many times, making me feel like shit
@martham8021 Жыл бұрын
Why is this not up for an award? The bravery that’s gone into this, ive watched it several times since it’s release. I’m so glad Elzani has got so much better. This is so insightful and educational. Shows the strength of family as well as courage and determination. Why hasn’t the BBC picked this one up?
@Wildernessadventuresoz11 ай бұрын
Thankyou for sharing the raw side of anorexia and recovery. I’m a nurse that looks after many acutely unwell people with anorexia. It one of the most misunderstood mental health disorders and extremely difficult for the person dealing with it and those trying to help. You have done the most amazing thing by recording your journey. Thankyou you precious human. ❤️
@swirlylimbs4 жыл бұрын
"If you weren't ill, you wouldn't want to be ill" those words REALLY stuck with me, that's exactly what I've been feeling, the entire I'm not "ill enough" & telling myself I will get help when I AM ill enough, but it's true, you will never be ill enough for yourself.
@AndreaHa4 жыл бұрын
That's so true... and often times "rock bottom" is death... please, take care of yourself. Try and love yourself because you are worth it! 💜🖤💜
@gruftitrash17744 жыл бұрын
True. I don't have an ED and can't relate to any ED thoughts but i got Depression and i'm stuck so deeply in it, that i only want to get worse. The ultimate goal is now committing suicide. :/
@xanzusx4 жыл бұрын
I...I think the last phrase just really got into me, because suddenly I was crying. Sometimes I really wish to tell someone how I feel but I always end minimizing it, because I'm not even sure if it's serious enough for other people to get worried. Thank you, I should really seek for help
@vanessita41382 жыл бұрын
@@gruftitrash1774 i hope you're still here and doing much better.
@nktigger994 жыл бұрын
Your father talking to you at the beginning just broke my heart into a million pieces.
@kecrn41324 жыл бұрын
Nichole Bird ..... yes.... I got mega goosebumps and shivers at that part.
@suzannecrowe77754 жыл бұрын
Me too. As a mother, my heart aches for these beautiful and courageous parents. Elzani is a warrior goddess... but watching your children struggle through the darkest of times is terrifying. Both mom and dad did an extraordinary job of staying firm yet loving. They encouraged Elzani to acknowledge that she was/is ill, and to fight back with all of her might! Fight on Elzani!! ♥️
@lauriehand1021 Жыл бұрын
The fear on your parents face that they were trying to conceal. I’m so glad they took you to get help. You seem so much happier than when I first saw your videos
@ashleyswann73428 ай бұрын
Idk this is on my recommended 3 years later, but I just hope you’re doing well today. You’re incredibly brave. Wow. The love your parents exude is truly moving.
@barbihausmann88994 жыл бұрын
you were so worried that they would keep you at the hospital, but the irony is that if there were nothing wrong with you they wouldn't keep you. the insanity of the disease.
@burnedflowers1414 жыл бұрын
Really reminds me of people addicted to hard drugs. They probably don't even think they're on track they're literally just in flight mode.
@dianan72604 жыл бұрын
Oh my there're so many glamorizing eating disorder story videos, but this... this is freaking raw and the reality of having an ed. I'm currently watching it and crying. I relate to this so much. You're a fighter Elzani. Keep fighting and doing everything you can to escape this hell
@anklebr3akr7704 жыл бұрын
h u m m i n g b i r d i went through the exact same thing and i can relate so much i’m crying so much right now
@SamSam-cg5up4 жыл бұрын
I really touched by this video😭
@challengemeneo4 жыл бұрын
h u m m i n g b i r d Same... we all can :3
@luuvis12764 жыл бұрын
Kelli Slivinski me too I know how she feels keep fighting.
@luuvis12764 жыл бұрын
h u m m i n g b i r d This video need to be shared everywhere people need to know the reality of ED
@songbirdsystem14659 ай бұрын
Hearing you have so much compassion for your sisters even while on deaths doorstep really hit. You’re such a kind soul and I’m so glad you’re still here.
@nadinebentel236211 ай бұрын
You are so blessed to have had the incredible support of your parents. Without it, you may not have made it. I have been anorexic for over 30 years, it began when I was 15 but my parents were ashamed of me and never afforded me the treatment I needed. It is too late now. I wish my life was over because living a life with anorexia brings with it so many other problems I never could have imagined. So, best to you and even though there may still be tough times ahead - the nature of the illness, hang in there.
@LoriB510 ай бұрын
I am sorry. My "story" is similar to ours. I started with anorexia at age 11, and then bulimia- switching back and forth, up and down for decades. I am now age 62 and nothing has changed mentally; physically- I have many health problems due to my ED. I did not get help, and my family was ashamed too. Back when it started, it was not a well-known disorder. It has ruined my life in many ways, and it is too late for me.
@nadinebentel236210 ай бұрын
I can only empathise. Our chances of getting better would have been greater were our parents not concerned with their own selfish egos. I see a brilliant psychiatrist, but honestly feel as it is too late. The impact on my entire life has been nothing less than devastating. I was married but got divorced because he wanted kids and I was worried about weight gain. The sad thing is it is what it is and we cannot reverse time. People who say you can get better if you put your mind to it have no clue about the nature of the condition. Too many times, I question what is the point. I can only send you strength and compassion.@@LoriB5
@kab18862 ай бұрын
@lorib5 I wish you both love and peace, wishing the best for you both. You're deserving of all the love and support in the world, im sorry life can be so cruel x
@salmapies54 жыл бұрын
came for cheap triggers walked out with hope
@rasyiqahzainudin32504 жыл бұрын
me too 💗 we can get through this one day, I'm wishing the best for you
@emilybeach2384 жыл бұрын
this hit different
@thepeacechannel70834 жыл бұрын
Wow, I'm so glad that the video turned that around for you. That is great:)
@jet81804 жыл бұрын
oof asdsgsta glad to know im not the only one
@amyevans52734 жыл бұрын
rasyoot what a sweet comment from you! Your good heart will heal. 💛
@phenomenalwoman61114 жыл бұрын
Oh my goodness. The footage of your body before you went into the hospital made me cry, you were just a skeleton, you were on death's door. I'm so glad you're alive Elzani.
@atheistleopard6184 жыл бұрын
@ 10:00, yes. It was fuckin' scary to witness her body. sheesh. that's the illness.
@atheistleopard6184 жыл бұрын
But, im so glad she's better, now. She deserves to be happy. She's such a sweetheart, imo. oof...
@rachelfourie90834 жыл бұрын
Just a heads up, commenting on a recovering anorexic’s body isn’t the best thing to do, even if you mean well.
@atheistleopard6184 жыл бұрын
@@rachelfourie9083 let's hope you're not talking to me, even if you mean well...
@rachelfourie90834 жыл бұрын
Atheist Leopard Both of you
@aubsububusbui Жыл бұрын
Sat sobbing watching this. My beautiful niece is currently battling this evil disease and you remind me of her so much. Her mannerisms the way she speaks even what you said. It was beautiful watching the life go back into you the longer you stayed there. Your eyes sparkled and it’s brought me hope. Your a beautiful person and thank you so much for sharing your journey.
@cookiie92 Жыл бұрын
The reason they treat you like an object rather than a person is because they cant be soft to work there. They get manipulated CONSTANTLY. and im sure seen the same people in there and sadly lost people... They are being stern on you because they are trying to break the habits. And manipulation is one of them. You do it to yourselves when you dont even know it.... this is coming from a recovered addict. Im so proud of you!
@cookiie92 Жыл бұрын
Oh! Right when I post that you mentioned 3 ppl dying while you were there... and that's in a short time... so just think about it. I know it seems cruel but it's more like tough love. Even you said yourself everyone was super nice. It was just care.
@sthorson39553 жыл бұрын
I worked in the healthcare profession for 30 years.. no nurse should EVER yell at a patient!!.. the patient is going through enough trauma.
@lilbluefreak3 жыл бұрын
That's the whole reason I never go to the dr or the hospital when I need to; healthcare professionals are so cruel. Just thinking of all the many ways they've been horrible to me and my family just makes me want to cry.
@covfefe17872 жыл бұрын
@@lilbluefreak think about these nurses have seen people die and have been through their own trauma even though it’s not proper to yell you have to understand that they are trying to help.
@CovidConQuitTheCensorship2 жыл бұрын
@@lilbluefreak If you're in the UK, you can keep your nurses there. I had one abuse me (in Australia). I reported it but they protect their own and I never heard back from them again. I've dealt with the trauma of that for years and it will never go away. I felt so violated. UK hairdressers are also really bad with shitty attitudes but that's not relevant here
@aleksandram9812 жыл бұрын
Due to this I’m currently avoiding hospital at all costs!!!!!!!!!! I haven’t eaten in a week and last time I went I flatlined 😖
@katielp972 жыл бұрын
@@aleksandram981 please get help, you deserve to be happy x
@MrsMurphy004 жыл бұрын
Everyone‘s talking about your parents down here. I want to thank your sisters, who are probably have been struggling as hard as you‘ve been! They are amazing and worthy and equal parts of the family as you are!
@lauranorwar4 жыл бұрын
MrsMurphy00 I so agree with you. Sometimes they must’ve felt so lost. There are times when there are so many emotions flying around and they are smiling awkwardly as though they don’t know what to do with all of the intensity. So hard for all of them...but there is obviously a lot of love there too.
@IRLSaeyoungChoi10 ай бұрын
I kept tearing up when she was begging her parents to take her home, asking why they brought her there. I feel like anyone whose been hospitalized due to a mental illness can relate to the begging, the pleading, the blaming, the frustration, the questions. Why would they do this? Why can’t they see how horrible it is there? Why won’t they trust me to get better on my own? Especially when you have a bad experience there such as horrible staff, being left in the dark, terrible peers. You blame your parents/who put you in for bringing you there when you “had it under control” and guilt them for bringing you because you can’t see how far gone you are.
@ImGrotesque11 ай бұрын
This is the most realistic video I've seen on anorexia, I have been hospitalized because of my anorexia and this is exactly how it went down. I see myself in this video
@mythicalmagic11774 жыл бұрын
The people who disliked this vid were crying and misclicked
@redjuice024 жыл бұрын
why do you think she videoed this? think about that. why would you record it. why would you video yourself in the mirror like that. Why would you cry into a camera so much. because you want attention.
@vadavaaa89294 жыл бұрын
LiteraryAlias I don’t think you understand, she documented it so people would understand how bad the illness really is, and that people who think anorexia is good really shouldn’t glorify it🙄
@ainsleyhart13944 жыл бұрын
Dude leave. You need to learn about an illness before criticizing someone with it.
@marianavalenciacorrea34194 жыл бұрын
@@redjuice02 your comment it's simplely savage, don't minimize her problem, you don't know how this could affect her and you don't know why she does what she does, please be careful with what you say because you can hurt people honey
@ddl43744 жыл бұрын
Or they just hated that it had to happen- it can be hard to 'like' a tragedy or a horrid ordealvespeciallybto see such noce eople affected and suffering and having to be SO STRONG you know? I get it
@cultureshock724 жыл бұрын
This is the best eating disorder documentary I've ever seen. (And I've seen an unhealthy amount) So REAL. This is why psychiatric patients should be allowed to speak for themselves!
@ongogablogean49204 жыл бұрын
Check out Rachel’s Road To Recovery channel too
@DeborahGirard-cv3zh3 ай бұрын
I’m so proud of you for making this video. I know it will help others. My daughter and only child died of this disease after 20 years of suffering from this disease. I pray your recovery continues to this day. You are a beautiful young woman .
@Bianca_Pastel3 ай бұрын
I’m anorexic but my mommy supports it so why do you call it a disease?
@D-me-dream-smp3 жыл бұрын
This is such an honest raw emotional video. At least it’s now being recognised as the severe mental health disorder it is. It’s such a challenging struggle for not just the person but their family as well. An amazingly beautiful loving family that shows this horrible disease can strike anywhere.
@hungrypikachu1354 жыл бұрын
The part where they wheeled her out into the frigid cold and she gets a nose bleed and everyone's panicking and she's just like "this is awesome" made me smile 😊 Also that sweet old man who made the rabbit comment 😂
@jamesgreen41974 жыл бұрын
You’ve captured one of the most confronting and intimate documentations of the realities of anorexia that I have ever seen. You are so. SO. brave. I think you have a real talent and should consider documentary film making as a career - you’d be incredible!!! Much love ❤️
@larlutm4 жыл бұрын
Absolutely agree! Although I relate to Elzani in a different way (recovering addict), I cannot fully comprehend the complete devastation and disparity of where her illness took her and her family, but this raw portrayal really took me there. It was so heartbreakingly hard to watch, and I can only imagine the strength it took Elzani to make this video. She is so lucky to be alive (I usually don’t like that phrase because it gets used so flippantly, but she really is), and I’m so glad this beautiful, determined and talented girl is sharing her own “time in hell” and is here still fighting and in turn inspiring others. Her and her family deserve all the happiness this world has to offer. Incredible video.
@SamSam-cg5up4 жыл бұрын
Agree👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
@AllisonWonderland1014 жыл бұрын
Yes I agree!
@danika7894 Жыл бұрын
Her dad was so kind my goodness. I had a extreme ED for 4 years, I got so small and so unhappy, I feel for this whole family. Eating disorders are a awful awful awful thing. To hear her dad trying to comfort her… made me so happy
@lukeb49837 ай бұрын
I am genuinely moved by the courage you've shown in facing your challenges. Your decision to document your journey and share it with the world is nothing short of inspiring. It takes immense bravery to be so open, and your story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit. Seeing you now, you radiate health and beauty, and it's clear that your resilience has not only carried you through but also allowed you to flourish. Your transformation is a beacon of hope and a clear reflection of your inner and outer beauty. You are such a gorgeous person! Thank you for being a remarkable example of bravery and grace.
@daniquecorman97344 жыл бұрын
Could you do another vid about how it all began? Why anorexia sneaked on you. When it all happened, for how long? How is it possible you didn’t send in earlier? Your parents are so kind!
@daniquecorman97344 жыл бұрын
That’s not completely true. Mental disorders can develop throughout a lifetime. It’s not al heretage. There are multiple reasons why someone can develop a mental ilness: surroundings, background, race, wealth, family situation etc.
@daniquecorman97344 жыл бұрын
*not always in the genes.
@TarisLuna4 жыл бұрын
@@swright3217 people are not born with a specific mental disorder. There are genetic factors that can make people more prone to a mental disorder, but you can also get one out of nowhere because of things that happen to you etc and you are not destined to have a mental disorder just because someone genetically related to you has one. Mental disorders are such a complex problem, you can't just blame everything on genetics and / or up bringing.
@Charlotte-mv9qb4 жыл бұрын
Danique Corman yes please that would be rlly interesting
@wouldntyouliketoknowweathe91454 жыл бұрын
Samantha Wright i had my first disordered thought when I was eight. How ever, that’s not how Ana develops.
@Rat__Wife4 жыл бұрын
I wish this was shown in my health class instead of the stupid cheesy movies we watched. This is raw, honest, and inspiring. Elzani you are a role model for so many people. You are so strong. Thank you for putting this together. Very very well done.
@buried44303 жыл бұрын
Watch Hunger and The Machinist
@mummytrolls Жыл бұрын
Yeah I only was shown that Cheerleader video in health class and that’s it
@reginamorua29272 жыл бұрын
This brought me to tears 😭 she was so broken. Thank you for sharing your story, you are such a brave and selfless soul ❤️
@Velvetwings911 ай бұрын
I know this was years ago but I want to say :You are so brave and a true warrior! You are a hero for posting this!
@tomhollandisababe14414 жыл бұрын
"I am, I'm fine....." the way her voice broke when she said that..😭
@danielallanillos67124 жыл бұрын
Such a good dad. He playing with you like a little girl. God, this world needs more men like him. 🖤
@alyssalowe25364 жыл бұрын
And talking to her like one to make sure she felt safe. Its beautiful
@tess46914 жыл бұрын
Im now realizing how amazing my dad is! Im só greatfull for him❤️
@Sarahr989982 жыл бұрын
Your parents are INCREDIBLE.
@gingermcintosh6545 Жыл бұрын
Elzani I’m not sure you realize how lucky you are to have your amazing family. I had open heart surgery in 2020 and spent 3 months in hospital and never had even one visitor. Not one. And your family was there everyday, going through the torture of you begging to go home. I’m so glad you stayed and got better but I can assure you that your hospital stay was a picnic compared to mine. I really think you might want to rethink how you were treated. They were very good to you. Thank you for making this video and bravely sharing it with the world. It is very educational. Best wishes for continued good health.
@isthecarpetcomfortable94104 жыл бұрын
This video honestly made me realize that ED’s aren’t worth it... When you were crying, saying you were «Fine» that hit me like a ton of bricks. I’ll still seek therapy, but thank you for this documentary.
@blisa_belle4 жыл бұрын
the more you control food, the more food controls you. I hope you can recover, you’re strong!
@angelicaeats61174 жыл бұрын
I hope you’re doing okay ♥️
@Mikathedog1004 жыл бұрын
For me, my eating disorder saved my life. I am grateful for that. That being said, I would never go back. I would hope, with all I have, that my children will come to me when they're first depressed, long before the disorder (or drug addiction, or any soul destroying means of coping with depression) begins. But for me, at that time in my life, it saved me. Acknowledging that, keeps me well.
@isthecarpetcomfortable94104 жыл бұрын
Belle Secely Thank you! I didn’t realize how long ago my comment was. I am doing better now, I’m well into my recovery. I had a relapse yesterday, but I’m handling it way better than I thought I would. I started working out (following some work out plans here on YT!) and increasing my food intake has helped a lot!
@internetaccounttt3 жыл бұрын
@@isthecarpetcomfortable9410I'm so proud of your choice to recover! Please keep in mind that exercise can also be a form of purging calories and can get excessive. Make sure to take breaks, and only exercise because it makes you feel good! Stay strong🥰
@hannakurimoto-fischer76004 жыл бұрын
The phone call between Elzani and her mum when her mum was crying absolutely broke me 💔
@kw8827 Жыл бұрын
Bless you, you went through hell, but you survived. Well done - you're amazing and should be so proud of yourself. Your story is an inspiration to others. Also, what lovely parents you have - so strong and committed. May you all find happiness.
@britttreu7218 ай бұрын
Brave woman. Showing us all how sick this disease makes people. Thank you for the insight. Britt from Denmark.
@lottienicholls70014 жыл бұрын
This seriously needs to be like on Netflix or something it's such a unique prospective.. I dont think theres another video like this that shows anorexia at it's most destructive form, and didn't act as a trigger for me at all- complete opposite actually! You and ure family are amazing, you have come so far and should be so proud of yourself!! 😘
@Barec764 жыл бұрын
Charlotte Nicholls your*.
@katiekawaii4 жыл бұрын
You could nearly put this up on Netflix as is. It truly is that well done.
@reaghanwiley6924 жыл бұрын
There is a movie on Netflix about this actually (not her story but similar) . Made by Netflix, true story about a girl overcoming it. I can't remember the name but it had the word bones in it 😅
@lucykeenan14574 жыл бұрын
Reaghan Wiley “to the bone” x
@ddl43744 жыл бұрын
Yeah! To the bone wasnt a deterrent - THIS ! ☆ - IS A DETERRENT!!!
@betakristen4 жыл бұрын
Hey, so... You just can’t get better in the same environment that you got sick in. Anorexia is, in a big part, having all the control. The hospital was absolutely right in making you follow the meal plan, monitoring you and especially not letting you go home - recovery IS about giving up control, not just “craving” foods (that, realistically, you’d end up restricting too). This is not just about forcing yourself to eat sometimes, it’s about treating the root of the problem. I strongly advise you to see a therapist, you are indeed a lot better but I can see that you still obsess over food portions and control - your family clearly loves you but them and you are not fit to go through this without any help. My comment comes from a place of love, as I myself went through this and can now see how manipulative, control freak and delusional I can get. All the best for you, you are a really strong person and deserve all the best
@melslatt4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing this. I kept wondering why they wouldn't let her even have a bite of the cake, assuming maybe they never asked or something. But that makes a lot of sense that they had to take away her choice to kind of reprogram her mind when it comes to food.
@betakristen4 жыл бұрын
Rynnie Not rude, just straight forward. As I mentioned, she’s a strong person who does deserve all the best and is improving greatly; however I saw A LOT of red signs in this video that I believe she isn’t even aware of - as I, a recovering anorexic, also wasn’t until someone else pointed it out for me. Acknowledging some things isn’t always easy, but it’s crucial.
@betakristen4 жыл бұрын
Rynnie uhm, so you just dismissed the rest because of that? English is just not my first language, to me it sounded... like a nice way to address her? Will change it, no prob
@betakristen4 жыл бұрын
Rynnie Noted. xx
@MrBlahblahgaga4 жыл бұрын
thank you for this comment! I scrolled and scrolled and scrolled looking for a comment addressing that she’s clearly not in the right frame of mind. Someone needs to tell her, it’s not the nurses keeping her in hospital, it’s the mental illness. Same goes for the not being allowed out of bed. Soooo many red flags!!
@megangreene39557 ай бұрын
I am watching my own teenage daughter wasting away. She is 5'4" and hovering at around 100 lbs. It's scary because I want my healthy girl back. I want her to be able to fit in ladies size small clothes instead of child sizes. I am scared for her. I want her to go into hospital because she isn't gaining weight even with the medication they have her on. I am scared that my own beautiful girl is going to lose more weight and eventually die. I am so scared because I can't bear to lose her. I want my brilliant girl to get better. If you are a praying person 🙏, please pray for my daughter Katie.
@kitzzz17018 ай бұрын
your mum might be the most comforting presence ive ever witnessed. im so glad you survived this and i hope u and your amazing family are doing so well now. you deserve a beautiful life
@anisajas6964 жыл бұрын
Hi Elzani! I don’t know if you will ever come across this comment but I just wanted to let you know that you saved my best friends life. I was recommended this video a few days ago. My best friend has anorexia and she was as well close to dying. I stayed up all night watching this video, and then created a game plan for my best friend on what we can do before this disorder came and overtook her and end her life at such a young age. I planned on watching this with her the next day to show her that things do get better at the end but it just takes time as she was very indenial about her disorder and chances of ever getting better. We watched this video over a course of 6 TIMES! (It did take us a few days to rewatch it that many times) She doesn’t have a very close relationship with her parents anymore because anorexia tore apart their relationship but they do love and care for her and want her to get better more than anything. I showed them this video and they soon agreed to find an eating disorder treatment center for her and find a therapist for both of the parents to attend to know how to support her through this. Last night my best friend got admitted into her eating disorder unit which is also best in the nation and I finally got to see her this morning. I saw a smile on her face today and I just balled my eyes out because I have never seen her smile in such a long time. It looked like she had so much hope and light in her eyes and she told me “thank you for showing me this video I think it saved my life” I didn’t want to take the credit away from you so I just came to deliver the message. Thank you for saving my best friend and giving her hope that things will get better in the end. One Month Edit : my best friend is currently still in treatment and is doing so well. She will be staying for another 2 1/2 weeks before she can be discharged from the treatment center and does their intensive outpatient program with them for awhile. I spoke with her last night over the phone and she said she’s still somewhat struggling with her eating disorder but she’s determined to get better and has been cooperating with her treatment and meal plans and will continue to do so when she leaves the hospital. I’m super proud of her! Thought I would make an update 05/13/2020 - my friend is still doing outpatient treatment but in a much more lower intensity as she’s doing well and almost weight restored. She did get hospitalized again the first month during out patient for two weeks but she quickly bounced back. She is going back to college next semester, her relationship with her parents is so much more better and healthy and they are very close and support her. She enjoys eating out once a week to cheat meals while maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I learned her favorite cheat meal is Wendy’s spicy nuggets and Mac and Cheese!! She no longer drinks or smoke and she is doing very well mentally and physically. She also mentioned how she feels the most confident in her current weight then she ever did vs when she was at her lowest weight in anorexia.
@linylu4 жыл бұрын
anisa ahmed omg 🥺
@moonchild_7784 жыл бұрын
I really hope she sees this and sees how much of an impact sharing her story will have. Thank you for sharing, brought tears to my eyes ❤️
@SneezyKatsALT4 жыл бұрын
You made me cry
@shanafife32284 жыл бұрын
I hope your friend is doing well.
@AfallinAngel4 жыл бұрын
This is an amazing story !! Maybe send it to her Twitter or comment it on one if her newest videos so she has a better chance of seeing it.
@Nessaneedsahug4 жыл бұрын
I was about to relaspe back to anorexia but watching this stopped me
@fabsmattison4 жыл бұрын
Nessa Fadden stay strong. YOU ARE AMAZING
@clayton80094 жыл бұрын
You're a strong fighter!
@bbghoul_x4 жыл бұрын
I'm so proud of you, please be strong. 💗
@SamSam-cg5up4 жыл бұрын
fight together. Stay strong ♥️
@genius26554 жыл бұрын
Think about everything that you won’t be able to do if you relapse. Do you enjoy being so hungry you want to cry? Do you enjoy being irritable? Do you enjoy watching your grades drop? Think about the things that you love in this moment, and hold onto those, stay strong 💕
@amandastein62479 ай бұрын
Your mom in the hospital was so very kind and sweet, patient and understanding 💙💚💛 this video brought me tears, you are so strong and thank you for sharing 💙💛💚
@Vardagsvegan13 жыл бұрын
It's interesting to see how you almost becomes like a child. And I don't mean it in a "bad" way. I think you understand. You can see your panic about everything and som fragile crying all the time etc. It shows how it effect your brain. And how you're so worried about everything. Im so happy you're better
@chloeraisbeck1664 жыл бұрын
i have never felt so moved over an ED documentary as this one, i’m sat here at 2am sobbing! you have showed the reality of anorexia and overcoming an ED. you are so strong and so brave, your family are so supportive and loving and you are so fortunate to have them. keep going, you can do this xxxxxxxxx
@dorotkamajka84 жыл бұрын
this shows that eating disorders are not romantic at all! do not even start, go to therapy, seek help as soon as possible, life with an ED is miserable and revocery is super hard
@sheytremblay46463 жыл бұрын
It's like that with any addiction. Life with it is miserable and recovery is hard, but necessary.
@jademusic12113 жыл бұрын
I've battled an ED for nearly 40 years. It's so ingrained in me now that I don't know who I'd be without it. 😞 Yes, seek help as soon as possible before you're so deeply entrenched in it that recovery seems an impossibility. 😥
@sofiastar29333 жыл бұрын
exactly
@BamBabyBrenda3 жыл бұрын
Why anyone does this is beyond knowledge.
@dorotkamajka8 Жыл бұрын
@@BamBabyBrenda It's a disease, you don't choose it, someone is more at risk, someone is not, it's a multifactorial disease, someone starts exercising and eating healthier, loses weight and when they have a predisposition to eating disorders, they don't even know how and they get to this state. It is best to accept yourself as you are and learn not to comment on the appearance of others and that looks and thinness are not the only values.
@ducky_5087 ай бұрын
I cannot count how many times I have sobbed and lost my breath throughout this story! So unbelievably proud of your strength and positivity. You have come so far, and I am excited to see you continue on in your journey through life beautiful soul!❤ I cannot say enough how glad I am that your family supported you, and that you chose life. For the voice in your head that may still say you had wasted a lot of life, I give you a mantra that my family often uses, ‘live in this moment for this moment is your life’. You got this darling. P.s. you have your grandmas eyes for sure! Full of light.