Host resistance in DID and why it is harmful

the dangers of host resistance in DID and why it is harmful hahananjahahahahahahaha

[@magesystem]

oops, i mean to schedule this post 2 days from now lol, oh well. sorry for not being super engaging, we are so depressed dude it’s unreal.

[@Howdyasdo]

Hey even if you think you don't sound like yourself this video was really good! Never knew this kinda thing can happen to a system and you're really good at explaining the internal machinations going on. Keep doing great stuff❤

[@saegemehlfee]

sending you love

[@sleepyote]

Im sorry, sending you all comfort and strength during these difficult times.

[@EastSky]

😢😮😮

[@alysmarcus7747]

your timing is always great. by the way i wanted to say the dark hair is awesome. I agree with you on the not the 'original' one, Because i have a large system and it starts so young - there's no way there's ever been one "me" - And that doesn't bother me. I've been scary depressed for quite a while and i had thought that changing my name was gonna make it all better - oh, ya - decades in and i'm still 'new' . But for truth i've had to change my name legally 3 times . The last time i changed it (last april) We all spoke about it for about 2 years - and even still on these bad days, part of me thinks ' was it unfair to ask her to 'take over' But I would say that it is still the best and feels like the most 'honest' place i have been with 'us' in the world. People don't need to know what is going on under the skin, we do. I think your transitioning is helping and probably this spell is an adjustment - treat yourself in the best way you like. Personally i don't think i have ever experienced the 'host resistance' in the way that you have described; but the times when it's really quiet puts me at the 'did i imagine everything? - like - my entire life. And that one is weird. Doing the work of dealing with the world and making sure everyone in a system is okay - - Not a job for the meek ! right?

[@Milokissavlk]

This is rather important. I’m going to give any people that are in some level of denial a piece of advice that one of my caretaker told me (you always gotta thank Ivan) “Does it really matter if I’m real or if you are just making me up, is what I’m doing helping you?” (Me) “yes” (Ivan) ‘Then does it really matter?”.

[@magesystem]

THANKS IVAN, SO HELPFUL!

[@alysmarcus7747]

yes!!! - i have a large group and i always address that everyone is of equal importance - that none of us would be here without them.

[@CassieNoJutsu]

oh my god--we literally said the same exact thing last night because we were discussing this feeling. I think it seems to happen to us most heavily after we go from a period of time feeling like there's always one or more additional person at or in the doorway, to suddenly no one's there.

[@DasomiBaby]

As a non-host, sometimes I feel like hosts are simply the alters who struggle the most accepting they are part of a system. In a hurricane warning there will always be that one person who says " it's alright, it's only a couple of drops". Allowing that person to take decisions for the whole group is madness. Our host is 16 in a 32 year old body. If we let her take decisions for all of us whenever she starts convincing herself that none of us are real and she's the only one is a recipe for disaster. And because of it we found ourselves in disastrous positions many times. Now we learned to drag her in whenever she does this, for as much as she kicks and screams, and give her some monitored quiet time until she comes to her senses and stops hurting everyone else with those ideas. I know it sounds harsh but she's really stubborn and its been a true struggle. We had 2 and 5 years olds sobbing their little hearts out because she indirectly convinced them that they're not real. A bit of tough love is what works for us. And she is really learning to give us space and rely on us more as time is passing by and she finds herself inside more than before. It allows her to understand who we are and that we function a lot better when we work as a team and she doesn't lock herself out for days causing herself, and the body, to burn out.

[@magesystem]

thank you so much for sharing, this is really really insightful

[@DasomiBaby]

One of my alters came up with something simplistic but rather effective. "I think therefore I am" (cit. René Descartes). Very powerful. We repeat it to whomever may struggle with denial at the time. It doesn't really matter what you are or how much of a physical "human" you feel. If you are self aware and capable of independent thoughts and opinions, you are a living being. In ancient Greece it was believed by the greatest minds of their time, that slaves, women and animals all shared the same intellectual capacity. A woman or a slave was as smart as a pig, and that was undeniable science at the time. Just because we are behind in our understanding of the mind's potential doesn't mean we don't exist. If 200 years ago we would've said one day we'd be able to see someone who lives thousands of miles away through a metal rectangle in real time, we would have been accused of lying, heresy, witchcraft or malingering. Let's remember that modern psychology is only a little over 100 years old. If the science hasn't caught up yet, don't doubt yourself on the basis of primitive knowledge that will change in a few years, and trust your instincts.

[@ViviW1nt3r00]

This is so validating ❤

[@unoriginaluid]

I appreciate your videos. Depression or not, you show a realistic example of DID and you have an honest approach to it. I get tired of some other channels that emphasize alters over healing. It's nice to see a channel that doesn't glamorize this condition. Your realness and relatability is so important and valuable to me. Thank you!

[@Altereddandelion]

Especially the I know cognitively I have DID but I dont feel like I do. Like i have very heavy depersonalization and i can easily acknowledge that, but the though of multiple me's in my own body and mind? Too absurd. Even watched a video I made just talking and a switch happened, I can see in the video that its happening and I do not believe it. I must be faking it for attention for the video and forgot about it due to embarrassment even though nobody else will ever see it anyway. I also cognitively know I have had so much trauma, my trauma history has been deeply documented throughout my life, but I dont feel like I know what its like to go through that type of trauma? I know its written there but i dont remember it so why would it even affect me? I dont know im still just one year post diagnosis and still heavily grappling with denial.

[@thetrashcansystem]

First: thank you for this video, it was something more relatable than not. I'm also a resistant host I feel. But it's for several reasons. I feel like I am majorly avoidant of DID because well, I know I'm plural, I know I there's others and I can't argue that fact against them. We all know how that works. (It doesn't) but I don't think about my identity constantly all day every day and it's easy to slip back into a routine that might be unhealthy... but every so often DID videos pop up again and I'm reminded of this. The cycle of who am I. Im avoidant because I don't know what to do with the knowledge that I'm a system. No one irl seems to pick it up. They might just think DID is a side interest of mine but they don't know the little characters I draw or make Sims of are also sometimes me. They don't realize that they sometimes interact with those characters without even knowing it. And that's another thing. Outward exposure. I have concern that we can't be open in our household for being made fun of, not taken seriously, fear of an outburst from certain alters. I fear we don't have a lot to do because we are poverty stricken and only own a handful of really old games no one cares about anymore. It's hard to find active fandoms, and it's even harder to live an outed life for us at the moment because we don't have a lot of stuff the others can call theirs. They can't exactly personalize the body they way they want to and that can sometimes make them not want to front. I feel like these are reasons staying involved with the system can get frustrating, of course not forgetting the usual DID denial. I'll look at other systems experiences and often compare them to mine like I didn't go through half as much bad shit as they did, so we must not have it. (Accidentally saying we while denying is great 🤣😭) all of this outside pressure, combined with the internal chaos of never knowing what's going on with my own head. Plus being in an active toxic trauma situation, It deters me from it a lot. We aren't in therapy at the moment because it's inaccessible rn and haven't had a chance to seriously talk to a professional about DID who might believe me. It's all so much. This has been a ramble, but again, this video was needed. Thank you, and if you read this far, thank you again. ❤ You are real, you are loved, and you are beautiful. 💋Sierra TCS

[@RiceballRhythm]

Honestly really helpful video! I used to know someone struggling with this and it would have been super helpful at the time! I wish anyone dealing with this nothing but the best, frfr!

[@andreeuzsystem5940]

BTW, I've met Dr. Colin Ross, too, and bought three of his books. He is not perfect, but overall I think he is one of the best and most helpful professionals out there

[@andreeuzsystem5940]

Thank you for your insightful videos! I have a lot of struggles with this whenever my parts Martha or Alexandria are hosting, or even popping in with their intrusive denial thoughts. It's hard to be patient with them and they have a hard time being patient with the rest of us. This video and a lot of the comments are helping us a lot right now. Thanks!! 😊

[@soccerandtrack10]

"resist... resist... Resist.. REsist... REEEESIIIIST!!!!! with bays ablase with gunfire. With lightning and screams." I vaguelly remember it.

[@mariefountain6281]

Damn... from a host, damn man. Very well said. I hadn't thought of it like that and I think I really needed to hear it said. -Mack

[@magesystem]

That’s so good to hear, thank you! - L

[@ninaexmachina]

You sharing new ideas is exactly what I subscribed for, it's super refreshing. And validating when they're ideas I've also had lol. Words are hard but here's a comment for the algorithm

[@laughatdarkness1286]

Dianna would destroy the host’s favorite things just to prove that shes real. That was years ago now, and we have made a lot of progress since then.

[@DasomiBaby]

I thought we were a bit tough on our host, but this is on another level.. at least it worked, that's a plus!😅

[@ambereyedbabygirl]

Love your videos so much and your takes have helped me so much with discussing w my therapists

[@magesystem]

thank you so much 🙏

[@DisabledPsychedelica]

Wow, not even a full year on and I’m already being read to filth 👻👻👻

[@GRIMDYXE]

think i needed to hear this, well said and its nice to be able to relate to what youre saying. ive been putting so much into fighting denial lately and its so hardddddd but its been worth it

[@Vermillion_Treezzz3113]

Yooo, love the Megadeth shirt, they're one of my fave bands!❤❤❤

[@kosmaukaszczyk8401]

also for me in ( can be aplied everywhere) most important person is not the one that have highest number of things to do and responsibilites, but the one which ( if dissapear) cannot be replaced by others

[@toast82]

We hope you feel better soon L and anyone else in your system feeling the depression or stress of having DID. Please look after yourselves. I'm not the host but what our host always said was having DID doesnt change who I am. I've always been like this and I've learnt something new about myself. It's only ackowledging yourself. Idk if that'll work for you and tbh the only way they stopped thinking they were faking is when we told everyone we knew we were plural to the point there's no possible way to mask that without a lot of questions. That's not even doable for a lot of people and as soon as we've had to mask the denial has set in and undone the hard work. This isn't advice this is sympathising via sharing personal experiance. As not-hosts though we found helping the host with the day-to-day really helped with being seen as people. Just taking part in the routine. While it is generally harmful to be denied we don't hold it against them & it's become less harmful as they've intergrated and we can now complain to our friends that the host forgot us again & eat the good bits of the ice cream. Either recognise us and call us out or suffer without the good bits.

[@nathanbernards]

We're just realizing we've never had a host lol... it's a tough job to recruit for :/

[@nathanbernards]

Hmm 6:34 we do have someone pushing for fusion. Does that mean they are a host?

[@BlobChild]

Thank you so much for making this video. Coming to terms with being multiple has been difficult and I’m constantly invalidating the symptoms and the others in this body. It’s nice to hear that denial isn’t just something we’re going through 🌊

[@Altereddandelion]

I needed to hear this, thank you. I hope better times come for you all ❤

[@MOTOR-BREATH]

holy shit megadeth shirt 💥💥🔥🔥

[@soccerandtrack10]

("this last part... you may not like..." "oh,like ive liked the others!!,out with it!!!")(parts=steps to get out.) inply with the quotes. 1:20 =philosaphy too=im confused for the person thats concius before the truama stuff= its not the person getting d.i.d., its the body getting it. I didnt choose to use my head as a weopon,i got jump scared from behind,litterlly=grabbed there,so i headbutted useing my back head. d.i.d. is the body just reacting to getting hert. d.i.d.=really confuseing for people being made/born.

[@lilladybug137]

Really good video! Thank you. I am a host and am just starting to accept my alters more. It’s really hard and there’s a lot of pride involved if I’m honest. But I’m starting to respect them and their triggers and what they bring to the table. And they put up with a lot of my crap lol

[@soccerandtrack10]

3:30 this is why theres the d.i.d. spy conspericy book. black ops=alex mason, hes the mask/host in black ops.

[@DIDmyOSDDshine-oq3cg]

Thank you for this video. We have been in periods of denial and it was terrible.

[@kosmaukaszczyk8401]

people do it to other humans also seeing all wrong doings of others and not seeing yours

[@gabrielwong9063]

Nah I disagree. You should be able to fuse- that's healing. DID isn't going to stick with me my whole life. DID is a very negative thing for me.

[@luv2swim-e5n]

hi @magesystem if you see this, would you feel comfortable talking more about why he was trying to convince you not to get top surgery and/or your feelings about it? cuz my specialist therapist is also recommending that I don't get top surgery or start T yet. it's been upsetting me.

[@thebutcherbabe]

hi L, I’m a little late to this video, but I just wanted to leave a comment and thank you. I’ve recently come to terms with the fact that I’m the host of a system (with the help of my therapist), and I’ve been beating myself up over how scared I am. Hearing you talk about how we survive so much thinking we’re just one person, and how it’s no wonder we struggle to grasp the reality that we’re actually multiple - it was just really validating and comforting to me. Thank you for this video. 🫶🏻 - Elijah