How a Gentleman Handles a Catfish

[@mmj1342]

"pointing out the elephant in the room". Apparently, even a gentleman cannot resist an easy pun.

[@danielturczan2485]

You could hear a slight pause immediately after he makes the comment.

[@goggo9]

@@danielturczan2485 loved that!

[@jimmyjay6497]

😂

[@Maurothebassplayer]

That nearly killed me

[@pokerfacetv4644]

Lol. You beat me to it.

[@MisterBurtonshaw]

No loss, you had an enjoyable lunch with a bright lady. No mildly civilised person would be hurtful to another for nothing, let alone a gentleman.

[@Gent.Z]

My feelings indeed.

[@CanadaFree-ce9jn]

"No loss" Not really, it is amazing the number of women who use dating apps to get free drinks, food, and a few hours distraction without any intention of dating a guy. That is why many women today expect the men to pay, yet the want "equal" rights in every other way. I don't think that was her motivation but she clearly was trying to hid her body so she would get dates.

[@MisterBurtonshaw]

@@CanadaFree-ce9jna gentleman would allow a lady, who is unfortunate in one department enjoy a pleasant lunch.

[@Gent.Z]

@@CanadaFree-ce9jn No, I don’t think that was her intention at all. Although I have met women who like to date for the free meals, I cannot imagine a more laborious way of trying to have dinner every night.

[@TeddyRumble]

"Call out the elephant in the room". Lol. And, yes, everyone you meet is your teacher.

[@Gent.Z]

They are, indeed. That's why I love the Leonard Cohen song, Teachers.

[@extsaojose]

"The woman was significally larger" 🤣

[@suzimajor9532]

You handled that like a TRUE gentleman.

[@Gent.Z]

Thanks Suzi. Good to see you here!

[@griffinmoss5607]

That was a very honorable way to handle a difficult situation. I also agree with picking up that check. You will never look back on your past with regret by being honorable.

[@williamjenkins9]

I agree griffin…. Does not hurt anyone to be courteous and kind

[@marccano5061]

Listen young brother, I'm 66 years old, but I really enjoy watching and listening to your outstanding videos. There's always something to learn. I've been living in Texas for a good number of years and I've been quite frustrated by the low standards many men have when it comes to their appearance. I'm also trying to update my wardrobe by listening to your tips, thank you.

[@prettyawfulvideos]

'For fuck's sake.' Ha. I enjoyed your honesty, old chap.

[@xmrrxse2023]

😂

[@7thlady]

As a tall, fit woman, I want to chime that the lying about the height thing that most men do doesn't bother me: I've gotten used to it. However, when a such a man announces to me "I thought you would be smaller" as has happened a couple of times, well that's obnoxious. It says right on my profile that I am 5'11", I usually emphasize it in the "about me" section, and that's exactly how tall I am. I do have full body photographs and my photos are recent. Remember, guys: just because you are buffing up your height by a couple of inches doesn't mean everyone is, and a lady who is 5'11" is definitely going to notice that you are 5'8" and wonder why you claimed to be a few inches taller, especially if you complain about her height right at the beginning of the date!

[@vittoriacolona]

You were kind and classy. You can just tell her later, that you enjoyed her company but that you don't just think that it will be a long time thing.

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you. That's certainly the way I think things should be done.

[@maximerivard9283]

6:23 « call the elephant in the room » Can’t think of a better expression

[@ericsonhazeltine5064]

She sounded pretty cosmopolitan, sophisticated, and classy herself.

[@Gent.Z]

She was indeed. It was just the physical attraction that was lacking.

[@altair1983]

​@@Gent.Zand perhaps a bit of disappointment

[@chrisdahms9682]

Props to you for being willing to publicly state that you're not romantically attracted to someone who is overweight. WAY to many guys let people shame them out of saying this, as though it's sexist but it's not, most in-shape women don't prefer to date overweight men and that preference is never questioned. 99+% of people are hardwired to find overweight people unattractive for a perfectly logical reason, it's unhealthy and makes a person less functional. It's time we all stand up to the gripey feminists who same men for this.

[@Gent.Z]

I don't think it should even be a taboo. After all, being overweight is a choice. Meanwhile, it is perfectly 'acceptable' for a woman to disqualify a man for his height, which he has no control over?

[@ohauss]

@@Gent.Z As someone with a biomedical background, it's actually quite a bit more complicated than seeing being overweight as a simple choice. That doesn't detract from anyone's taste and preferences in dating, though.

[@realistic_delinquent]

⁠@@ohauss I have my education in a relevant field, and I concur. Though I always maintain that weight is, at it’s fundament, a psychiatric concern.

[@Colossus823]

​@Gent.Z That's not 100%. While certain forms of overweight are due to lack of sports and improper diet, others are genetically predisposed to gain and retain weight more. But it's true that you can't force anyone to find certain body types, weight or height, attractive.

[@Superdessucke]

​@Colossus823 Everybody's predisposed to gain weight if they don't eat properly and exercise. And accepting your premise as true, which I really don't, what about the height standard many women have in online dating apps, including possibly this one as Gent Z is 6'2"? Is that okay? Everybody is entitled to have standards including Gent Z. If they're too high, they'll need to be adjusted, or you yourself will need to improve. Simple stuff.

[@Martin_Romanowski]

Your date was handed very well in proper gentleman manner

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you, Martin.

[@dioneiakunz4836]

Nicely done!👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Most females can appreciate such a gesture

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you, Dione. Good to get your perspective.

[@alexconnor9884]

I'm impressed. I don't know how I would have handled that. But you handled it like a gentlemen. That is respectable, sir

[@SightNSoundBand]

Well played sir...

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you

[@douglasdietz7503]

Good man 👍. You can't go wrong by being a gentleman.😎👑

[@josuevalens]

"It's not my job to call out the elephant in the room" Caught that 💀

[@patmyles4776]

Very classy young man. Bravo!

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you, sir.

[@juiceknot]

👏🏾👏🏾💯on the way you handled things UNTIL you said the ‘elephant’ in the room 😂not a good choice of words 😂

[@goggo9]

it's called a pun and I think it's very enjoyable

[@StanleyStainton]

Your unrestrained honesty is refreshing People scared to admit nowadays that they like ‘voluptuous, feminine women’

[@peterc5642]

Listening to your story, reminded me of a near exact replica of a date that I too scored off a dating app - and I too handled in kind. Appreciate your efforts in creating extremely worthwhile content for gentlemen everywhere, which in my opinion will make the world a better place for all👍

[@TCshore1]

Never forget a woman has friends and acquaintances who value her opinion. Being a gentleman is always important

[@JimBobH13]

... and if you end up in her emergency room, you'll stand a chance of surviving.

[@joe18750]

lol!

[@BasementBerean]

I'm old. Back when I was looking for a wife you met people in person, and you proceeded from there. I'm a retired software developer, and I keep up with tech, but I don't envy this part of the new tech life one bit. You handled it well. A true gentleman.

[@termite1208]

That is one of the most kind ways I have ever heard anybody deal with catfishing. Good job.

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you

[@Pentonavalsolutions]

Well done. Good approach. Enjoyed the time and ALWAYS tell the truth. I M 100% sure she was expecting something else.

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you

[@j10001]

Phenomenal video. Exactly what my father taught me and what I’ll teach my sons. Thank you for your conduct and for explaining this.

[@Gent.Z]

It’s my pleasure. I’m very glad you enjoyed it.

[@JasonMehrkens]

I have been dating since January 2024. I've been 'catfished' several times and I have never been 'ungentlemanly' ever. It's better to give respect than be disrespectful. Like you stated, "everyone you meet has something to offer". Take the time to meet the person. You might make a great friend or even a business associate. I think a lot of men these days only think of the shallow respects of a relationship. I really appreciate your channel.

[@20thcenturyboy85]

You handled it like a true gentleman. No need to be mean to others. One does learn to best screen for preferences over time. Always keep moving forward in life. Good video.

[@deazy3409]

"Kinda a classic fat girl move" had me in tears class act, you gave her respect, nothing less nothing more

[@danelisslow3269]

Yeah I was a bit shocked to hear James be so blunt in this video. Can't disagree with what he said however.

[@Simon-zb6fp]

Well done. You are a true gentleman and handled yourself with dignity and if any lady is watching your video, they will consider you are a gentleman too.

[@ΦώτηςΤζέλλος]

Honest handling, reckon couldn’t be better! Greetings from Greece! You change the way we see British men.😊

[@michaelkogan1113]

Very honorable. Thank you for sharing this stoty with us.

[@ImmaculateBoakyeKwarteng]

That's very nice, James. I'm Nathaniel, a huge fan of you from Africa. I always watch your videos to stay true and noble as a gentleman. God bless you. Really love you a lot❤❤❤

[@abdulkareem6400]

Love the necktie in this video!

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you. It’s from Fort Belvedere. Great brand.

[@Hunman79]

You handled the situation very Gentlemanly manner.

[@vonketelsen430]

Well done. You handled the situation with class.

[@danklabunde]

this tie/square combo is S-tier, my friend! I love it!

[@danklabunde]

What's the fold called?

[@beechoudhury8484]

You really were a gentleman, well done.

[@rickpinelli1586]

Plain and simple... YES I handled it just as you did I am pleased to say.

[@Benfrancom14]

I love these types of stories! I get so hooked with the way you tell it

[@MrAtheta]

An excellent approach to a problematic situation. A pity she chose to hide an obvious thing that does attract some men for sure. You are indeed a gentleman!

[@wrightmf]

Good handing of this date which began with unexpected, the ability to handle situations of gentleman quality. Something for all of us to learn from. Which from what I've learned over the years that a date can be fun get-together with someone and not "did I score or not" situation. Also able to get away from the computer for real interaction with a human.

[@pensivepenguin3000]

And here I thought I was going to get a Cajun cooking lesson. Oh well - can’t win ‘em all ;)

[@boteanu.tudor6]

I am so sorry this hapenned to you. And yes, we should never lower our standards. It reminds me of a past experience with someone that whom out of desperation I lowered my standards and in the end I was unsatisfied. Gladly, it ended after a week, but as a quick reminder, never lower your standards (both intelectual and physical). Also, I observe a new video format, I really like it !

[@Gent.Z]

I think as men, we've all been there. But indeed, high standards are crucial, both for ourselves and those we involve ourselves with. And, thank you, I'm glad you noticed.

[@LeRoosteroo]

I had a similar experience. A lovely woman I met online was not what I expected. She was on the larger side compared to her profile. I paid for our cocktails and cut it short. I didn’t spend nearly the same amount of time as you might have. I got to know her but I couldn’t remain present. I ended with “do you mind if I get the check? It was lovely getting to know you but I’m not feeling the chemistry that I was expecting from our initial text conversation.” She was really nice about it. Now, there have been occasions when things didn’t go as nicely. 😳

[@FelixCosmescu]

Pinstripe suit! So classy!

[@berniel5933]

I had similar experiences and often a good conversation is harder to find than a hook up. There are also situations, when I meet a beautiful woman, but there is no attraction despite her good looks and manners, But over the years I made many friends also from different social and cultural backgrounds. I had also the situation that I made connections helping my career or met someone from her cycle of friends. Don’t write her off immediately! Remember you had an excellent conversation with her , most likely she will be surrounded by similar like minded friends.

[@antinancy]

I showed up for a blind date once, and it was clear in the first two seconds that the guy had zero interest. He didn't even try to be polite, just cut the date right off. Obviously he did me a favor, as he was not even remotely gentlemanly.

[@michaelsasylum]

I had that happen once back in the early internet days. I still had the meal with her and then gave her a ride to where she wanted to go, not to the encounter we had previously discussed. She got very quiet after I asked her where she wanted to go instead of the hotel room she thought we were going to go to.

[@charlesdavis7940]

Class act.

[@sharpemang]

Bruv the puns he keeps using is killing me hahaha

[@diegoforte3020]

I think that being nice triggers nice responses whatever the case. You acted in a kind way and she replied the same way. The rest is better left behind

[@asherbt924]

I've experienced the same and just like at 3:13 myself, also a Brit, muttered those same few words 😂 🇬🇧

[@Gent.Z]

Hahaha

[@thishandleisntavailablemofo]

Hahahahaaa

[@edwinalvarez1619]

Excellent, I would do the same as well. I couldn't hurt a woman's feeling. What I learned is when on dates don't focus so much on the outcome. Try to have a good time.

[@Gent.Z]

A lot of men try and ‘win’ a date (by sleeping with her.) it’s a very dumb strategy.

[@johnaustria7649]

Excellent Gentleman behaviour and style ⭐️ I had similar experiences with old resp. manipulated fotos on their profiles before the great metamorphosis set in! So the actual appearances couldn't be farer away from the pictures. It was really frustrating. Feeling kind of betrayed. Wasn't as cool as you and asked why ...

[@tomokofj]

Here in Japan, women are thin and men are short. I'm curious to see what problems arise.

[@jamies9710]

Great video, I’d like to point out how good the story telling is. Captivating, funny, and witty for sure. Where did you learn this skill, James? Or does it come to you naturally?

[@westerngent]

I am very pleased and impressed by the long overdue content offered here. I pity young fellows who never received instruction from older gents on how to behave. Kudos. Anyway, yes, happened to me once. It was an extreme example of what is a now a common occurrence given the use of makeup and filters. Anyway, plowed through a dinner and parted amicably even though it was to say the very least a disappointment and uncomfortable. Such is life and a gentleman takes these things in stride. Part of the human condition.

[@ronaldgmaster5782]

Lesson learned- always ask for full body photos.

[@realistic_delinquent]

Such a shame. She sounds like she might be a gem, once some of the stone is excavated.

[@luelee6168]

You mean chiseled off?

[@danelisslow3269]

Lol a diamond has to be polished before it shines

[@ravenlasky5286]

It sounds like you found a woman with wit and tact. She might not be The One for you, but keep her in your contacts. I bet she would be a great party guest.

[@Gent.Z]

You're right! Just have to make sure she never watches this video ;)

[@TeddyRumble]

She might actually lose weight.

[@cassiopelycopodioides5406]

​ @Gent.Z She should know the truth so as not to waste time on these types of "friends".

[@pollcrazy]

Yes, happens all the time, old pictures, when they were thinner , say they do outdoor activities and it was ages ago

[@Bossman871]

I use hinge only and have been fat phished twice in 2 yrs. I was a gentleman, paid and went on too brother. We contributing to the problem but I doubt we see weight classes added to dating apps anytime soon. Appreciate this PSA because fat phishing is real gents.

[@Gent.Z]

I would love to have more filters on dating apps but for politically correct reasons that will never happen. 'Fatphishing' is a new term to me 😂

[@PeteMitchell_Maverick]

(Not a catfish story) I had a date for the first time in my life last week, and she was really smart, but I just found it was a red flag that she smokes marijuana at 18. That being said, we still had a great time together!

[@williamfahey6066]

I have never put a profile on dating site and never will. I am before dating sites and would not be comfortable with them. I think people that do not have a picture and or an honest description of their appearance are very insecure and have a low self-esteem. If I want to meet someone, in my case it would be a man, I just trust I will meet someone just living my life. Also going to places that you love, What ever that is, is a great way to meet people, a Museum, a Book Store, The Theatre, even the Farmers Market or even the Grocery, Because you have a great chance of meeting someone you have something in common with. I think you handled the situation with that women with class and sensitivity and kindness, that says a lot about you, and I think you are a good person. Jeff

[@LuckyDogProductions]

Being a NICE guy, this can happen often due to being overly polite and NOT pointing out dislikes or flaws about another person, especially in appearance, it is immature and rude. People KNOW their imperfections and it HURTS to have it called out in public, this is what rejection in public can look like for men. I never knew it had a name.... Catfish.

[@realistic_delinquent]

The catfish in this instance is actually the gentleman. The woman would be what’s called “the noodler”

[@darrenbeachy4567]

Way to act like a gentleman! Thank you for the example

[@cisium1184]

Absolutely agree. A gentleman is a gentleman always.

[@patriciasaldanha7243]

I think you deserve a 👍 for your classy behaviour.! One thing to be wary about is make- up .Fortunately, most women use minimal amounts to enhance their features. But there are some who modify their appearance and who become different personalities altogether! It can be quite scary! Not to mention plastic surgery .. Even very young women resort to this practice ; they have the same ducky, pouty lips and the same filler- cheeks And I am certain these women are actually prettier before the intervention! (Like the "Before" is better than the "After" (What a shame - for F's sake !) .As for the weight you might allude to health issues in a brotherly way .These are "easier" to fix than aesthetic ones - for most folk. Also the fact that one can gain or lose weight depending on one's current state of mind, irrespective of diet. ☆🌸♡🌸☆

[@wmfield152]

An interesting experience. Lesson learned: It's always better to take the high road, i.e., always be the gentleman.

[@lorenzobude]

When her beauty eclipses the sun...

[@eugenioolazabal1867]

Anyone on the online-dating circuit can get "catfished". It happens. You however handled it with ease and class. Good job. Reason why so many men are foregoing the dating apps. I'm sure many women also are over this novelty.

[@anuarorumbayev]

I had sort of similar date, her pictures were v well done and carefully positioned so that it was v challenging to tell she was obese especially after looking at her pictures taken in the past. She revealed me that she has some overweight problems couple days before our scheduled date but she was v interesting to communicate so I agreed for a date and I handled situation similar way as you did.

[@robd7934]

Elephant in the room. Ouch. Kudos for how you handed the situation on the date. The thumbnail for this video of the heavy woman is a scary sight.

[@mrphil1956]

I had almost an identical experience, the pictures were actually full body and nice facial pictures too - but about 10 years old apparently. When the woman showed up for our date she was almost unrecognizable from her pictures and HUGE. Being an older gentleman it's always been my practice to pick up the check, I was just hoping she didn't end up ordering half the menu (she didn't). The date was mildly interesting and it all went well, but honestly I was embarrassed to even be seen in public with a woman so large. I did not call her out on her deceit but was tempted to...

[@ChristianPilon-v4v]

great job tu est un vrais gentleman .

[@thegrowl2210]

Basically you had 'David Brent's Blind Date' 3:12 "She seemed nice, a- ahhh for fu..." 😂

[@Gent.Z]

Hahaha that is such a classic scene.

[@greatrulo]

You made a great point about how men lying about their height or other stuff equals women doing the same with their weight. I've been catfished many times in the past and I never actually tell them anything about it, I'll just roll with the date and nicely cut it short without making her feel like somethibg else will happen.

[@Gent.Z]

That’s the right way to handle it, for sure.

[@libertarianspirit]

I solved this problem in more fundamental way - permanently deleted dating app five years ago. I approach in real life only, more harsh experience but you see upfront and also success rate is higher.

[@altair1983]

I'd like to point one other thing, although in this case woman misrepresented herself, very often (and it is only natural), you also build mental image based on the information and own desires, wishes. If there were no full-body pictures, you asumed she was thin(er) but you also could have assumed otherwise (in fact that is even more probable). And it could be ANYTHING physical or mental that you dont get with texting. Hence, i always tried ti meet as early as possible. With meeting someone on-line, dating start with first meet in person.

[@markgoss9150]

My personal experience has always been the women I find super physically attractive we don't connect mentally/emotionally etc Or the women I don't find attractive I do connect with and generally become over obsessive over me. I work from home, I'm a full time single dad, I workout but I've been single over 4 years and I'm happy with how things are just dating never really works for me

[@Gent.Z]

That can be the case. I understand you are prioritizing your family over dating right now, but I hope you meet someone good for you one day.

[@markgoss9150]

@@Gent.Z thank you for your kind words and response :), I think things will happen when they're meant to, everything else is great in my life so there's no rush. For a video idea could you do one on how to be gentlemanly in the workplace? Dealing with difficult colleagues, promoting your own skills etc

[@JamesParus]

Its sort of understandable that many use old pictures as some people looked great like two or five years ago. And they still feel like they are that person they used to be so short time ago. Some down hills are fast.

[@jimmyjay6497]

😂😂 This video gone trigger a lot of women! “ The host does not date obese women.” Ladies, men are visual. I would have just left. I ask for a full body unfiltered pic or no date so I avoid such situations. Why didn’t she just say she a bigger lady? Lots of men really dig that( not me ) Especially if she’s good to be around. Ps I do agree that it’s not your job to point out the obvious. You’re going to 1mil subs. For sure!!

[@ravendronesolutions]

I've gone on about 50+ dates by this point (I'm 32) which led me to meet my wife. I've been catfished a few times and also was nearly scammed a few times. I've always maintained my stance that being a gentleman is paramount but I also have my limits. In this case, I would've done something very similar and just maintained a friendship if anything. Now if the girl pulls this number and then she starts to order the most expensive stuff on the menu, I'd have a problem. It's not about the money, it's about the dishonesty. If you can't be honest about what you look like physically and then expect me to pay for the whole date, I would feel double scammed. Still, I'd try and deal with it in the most cordial and polite manner.

[@GainesMediaInc]

Ahhhh nooo! Rookie move Bruv!! Still, it gave you the chance to make this video...💯💯💯 But goes without saying, a FULL body shot is absolutely necessary for me to go ahead, if not multiple... If she has none on her profile, it is usually a dead giveaway....AS is a superfluence of "chest up" shots. If l can't verify, l insist on her providing me some. This bilaterally will usually solve the "height" issue as well. Great vid mate!

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you. It was indeed a rookie move and I won't be swiping right on profiles without full body photos again.

[@bellathereader1328]

I’m glad you use the word obese. The truth is that many men do not have an attraction to overweight women. Obesity is not healthy anyway. You were polite. That’s what counts.

[@yusufensartopcu2872]

Call out the elephant in the room and little smirk broo

[@Mark_Bayer]

I could never be the man who just walks out on a date, I probably should at times, but it just feels far too cruel

[@Gent.Z]

It is far too cruel. I think the only exception I would make is if it were actually a totally different person than the woman in the photos.

[@thishandleisntavailablemofo]

​@@Gent.ZI disagree. I think people should stop catfihing others.

[@Pietervdv]

That's odd. I advised the exact same thing when this came up in a Facebook group. Almost used the same wording.

[@84Actionjack]

Class

[@Guido_Sarducci007]

Run, run, run!

[@FilmicGames]

My first GF (at 21) was chubby, and that is typically what I go for. I had seen her Facebook profile prior to meeting her.

[@Gent.Z]

Good for you. We all have our preferences. Honestly, I don't mind a woman who is a little overweight. The BMI scale is a load of nonsense anyway. But I also know when a woman is too big for my tastes.

[@FilmicGames]

@@Gent.Z I see where you're coming from. I'm roughly 6.1, or 185cm tall, yet I more attracted to shorter women, skinny or chubby. If you are going to catfish someone, you're going to get what's coming to you - unless there's genuine chemistry.

[@Gent.Z]

@@FilmicGames exactly, it’s almost a guaranteed way to never have a second date with anyone

[@andrescolina3191]

If she lie to you in the very beginning who knows what will happen in the future

[@mauricebederon869]

I think the most important thing was that she knew what she was doing, you mention it by yourself. Surely such people think that perhaps they can convince or dominate a friendly person. For me that is pure dominance, nothing else. Anyone who uses ancient photos and makes themselves taller wants to get something. These are not harmless people. I am older, this evening would have been stressful for me because I know the work in the hospital and find the Lebanon absolutely uninteresting. But, we are not stone age people, that is for sure. For example, there are people who are just looking for tough sex and pretending to be friendly. I think in this case, you also have the right to leave. At my age, I do not want to open up like I did when I was young. I travel a lot by train. Sometimes you have nice conversations that are not too private, which is a nice thing. But, a date is something different.

[@3X9NLCF]

As a young man I could accept things like that. Once you get older and your time has more value than ever there is no place for online dating. See woman first, than decide if you want to make move and have balls to ask her out.

[@drg6161]

This is super easy. You smile, engage in a short, pleasant conversation, have one drink, pay the tab and leave. Then never talk to the girl again. Thanks for coming guys! 🤣 For real though, this is why you never do dinner on first dates. If a girl shows up like this (which they do a lot), you're in and out, minimal expense, minimal time investment and you move on with your life (Plus, you want to make girls earn things from you through good behavior. This includes things like longer dates, meals, trips, intros with friends and family, etc)

[@katherinedrake355]

Not related to the subject, but you resemble the actor Peter Lawford imo

[@Gent.Z]

People say I look like celebrities all the time but they are never the same ones (except Harry Kane haha)