Difference between a Gentleman and a Simp

[@davidbowman2035]

Sounds like you dodged a bullet.

[@ernestturner915]

Exactly 💯

[@JeffWilkinson]

He certainly did. Back in the stone age before texting and dating apps I went out with several women like her. They spent the evening talking about themselves with only a passing interest in me beyond a free meal at a nice restaurant. At the end of the evening, before they could do so, I told them that I didn't think things would work out between us and that there would be no second date. That usually elicited a shocked reaction from little miss self-centered.

[@usaloverhardcore]

@@JeffWilkinson That's narcissistic personality disorder. Most women have that in the internet age because they are entitled by simps, even in the third world. You guys must have already recognized it, even in text; it's a skill

[@suzphillips8162]

I appreciate your analysis. To her credit, though, there are some men out there looking for "a nurse or a purse" and she may have been trying, in an awkward way, to make sure you weren't either one.

[@mjackstewart]

“A gentleman never suffers fools.” Brother, that needs to be embroidered on a pillow!

[@ShotgunAFlyboy]

This is a good way to phrase what a crass friend once said "don't stick it in crazy". Wise, if a little rough, words.

[@Ashnesss]

Neither do ladies

[@SKBottom]

I know you have to be a woman, since you immediately turned it around and made it all about women. This is a men's channel. Get over it. ​@@Ashnesss

[@michaelduke4500]

I really like your response to her. Direct, to he point, but keeping it classy.

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you, Michael

[@pensivepenguin3000]

Yes, and I like that he did mention the reason. If somebody doesn’t tell these people, they will never learn

[@gjd8849]

You were considerate and gentlemanly and the woman did not recognize it. You did the right thing

[@shaktimishra9710]

Nah women just like to exploit gentleman

[@vincentjarrard4719]

I came across your channel a month or so ago. I really appreciate your content and insight. I’m a 65 year old man that will celebrate 41 happy years of marriage on the 14th of May. I tune in to keep myself sharp, current and on purpose. Thanks again. P.S. My wife likes your channel as well.

[@anonymouslakernerd7214]

Happy anniversary! 41 years is nothing to sneeze at.

[@pensivepenguin3000]

I’m 45, happily married for 11 years, and I feel the same way. In fact, there’s something about this young gentleman‘s perspective that I find even more refreshing and genuinely useful than some of the other classic men’s style channels aimed toward guys closer to my age

[@sarahgodwin-xd1wr]

I am a lady and a Southern lady , and i love to watch your videos. I love and appreciate gentleman, and i will not settle for anything less. I understand and appreciate polite and genteel behavior from a gentleman. Yes, i think that you did the right thing by canceling the rude woman's messages to you which were inappropriate !! Please continue showing and advising men on how to be a gentleman.

[@jonathan.legend]

I woulda cancelled as soon as she said ‘I’ll mark you in my calendar once I’ve received the reservation confirmation.’ Like we had all this good convo back and forth and all of sudden you don’t trust me that I’m making reservations to dinner tf? Like my times not important too? But yea she just kept digging her own grave. You handled it perfectly

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you. Yes, that message was a big warning sign. I understand why you wouldn’t have wasted any further time

[@Poussyeater-w5e]

To me it sounded like a straight up foodie call. I pictured the typical diva filing her nails lol

[@michaelpowers5506]

Good for you. She sounded like a professional. Desperation is the worst cologne.

[@los9952]

Usually when I see verbiage like “Simp” in a KZbin title, my eyes roll but my goodness you have such a wonderful thoughtful perspective. Good show! Keep it up. This kind of mature kindness definitely needs to be taught to this next generation!

[@onceagainvideos]

"I would like to 'take you out' for dinner." or 'treat you to' or even 'buy you' are all acceptable invitations that should ensure clear communication. Thank you for your work in educating us all in the way of a gentleman.

[@spaghettiking7312]

To me, this is very simple to define: a simp acts out of desparation; the gentleman acts out of respect. You show respect to the woman as a sign of manners, not because you are panicking that this is the only person. If you treat anyone with kindness and respect, you'll look back on your actions positively in the future, even if the other person didn't reciprocate. Someone becomes a simp because they don't value themself and let themself be taken advantage of.

[@DrRonThomasJr]

I had a nice series of calls with a girl last year. We agreed to meet at one of my favorite beach hotel bars as a prelude to dinner. I arrived early, had staked out our bar table and set up the dinner arrangements. I shot her a quick text to let her know I had arrived and all was ready. She texts back, “When you didn’t re-confirm, I didn’t think you were coming.” I texted back “When I make a date, I put it in my calendar… in ink … and I show up.” Send. Block. I had a couple of Manhattans overlooking the beach, a medium plus rib eye, and a crème brûlée. So, I still had a nice night. :)

[@JasonMehrkens]

Perfect response to her 'transactional behavior'. Well said, sir!

[@SKBottom]

Young gentleman, you handled it perfectly. Well done.

[@radioignacio1134]

Your story and response became a self-fullfilling prophecy for me this week - my decision: do not get sucked into her frame. I felt free to quote you on the "Good luck out there!"

[@CodenameV5k]

"A gentleman never suffers fools." 😂 I love it! You don't want to get caught up with a woman that treats men that way.

[@bobnadeau8914]

Right on. Good for you. From an older and traditional gentleman.

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you

[@scottyg9167]

Omg. I’m not allowed to use that describe what I think of that woman. That said, your crisp way of canceling was so stellar ! I’ve learned over the years that one sure-fire way to put me off instantly is to insult my integrity. Your story with that person speaks to this exactly.

[@internetperson8638]

People need to hear this distinction

[@007cheburashka]

Well done sir. I think a lot of younger women suffer through low class guys who do make them pay, etc, and it could maybe lead to that behavior, but she definitely needed a reality check that not all guys are the same. Glad to see your channel inspiring young men to improve and treat women with class.

[@swordsman3951]

I would have turned down that entitled woman just like you did. Im much older than you, but i must say that you're very mature for your age. Despite my age and experience, i do enjoy watching your videos. Great job!

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you, glad to have you here on the channel

[@pdterre5496]

In my bachelor times I got a similar experience more than once. You just had to straighten up and go forward. Met my wife at a ballroom dancing venue. It is a good place to meet without pressure as you can chat while dancing . In my country this was very common until recently.

[@zakapholiac9377]

Fantastic video. This is a sorely needed discussion. This is a very calm and reasonable way to discuss it too. There is such anger on the internet over these experiences and it’s causing a massive divide between the sexes when in fact it’s about entitled people and not a gender issue.

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you, you're right. I hate to see so much anger and immaturity online. There is also the tendency of many content creators to paint every woman with the same brush. Women, like men, are all different and complex individuals

[@kazdnn5949]

While I agree about these issues being primarily about entitlement, I also find it relevant that social media has fostered this sense of entitlement, particularly with women. Not many guys with thousands of Insta followers, meanwhile even just a decent-looking girl can easily get into the thousands and start feeling and acting like a celebrity.

[@kevin-jg5nq]

Don’t go within a mile of women like that. You made the right decision James.

[@SgpER-r6k]

As a gentleman, you should always be ready to pay for everything if you ask her out for a date. Its class. Kudos to you for keeping your cool. A true gentleman never crosses to the simp-side no matter how hard you're pushed.

[@broederbond60]

Very well done, GentZ. Your savoir-faire is quite impressive for a man in his mid20s.

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you, sir

[@trickydicky7868]

I liked the reply of: "I found your attitude off putting etc" that I read this comment in the clip and delicately put.

[@mdb39602]

That was a very great way to handle that situation. We can only hope she learns from it and treats the next man more fairly.

[@Poussyeater-w5e]

I like the response you gave her. Very classy, yet concise and straight to the point 👍🏾

[@PeteMitchell_Maverick]

It’s encouraging to see that one can still be a gentleman without a car because I don’t have one anymore. (I know that material things don’t make you a gentleman, but if you have a vehicle, people see you as more resourceful)

[@eyeheartsushi2212]

People are more understanding if you’re in a big metropolitan area with efficient public transportation

[@brentoncrowhurst8338]

Situation nicely handled, and the story well told for the benefit of others.

[@musash777]

you handled it well!

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you, sir.

[@daviscragun2023]

Impressive as it is that you cancelled the date (many men would not have, especially with an attractive lady), I’m just as impressed in the way you communicated the reason of cancellation with her honestly yet respectfully 👏

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you 🙏

[@j.t1682]

I asked a girl out on a date. She said she would agree to it as long as she was paying. After dinner, she asked for the bill and was told that it had been settled. Immediately, she invited me for breakfast date the next morning. We are still together.

[@Gent.Z]

Wowowawee. Congratulations to you both

[@j.t1682]

@@Gent.Z Thank you.

[@maniwyatt6559]

I say "DANGER Will Robinson", she wants to be the boss, be in charge, wear the pants in the relationship, she doesn't want to owe you anything, if that is what you are going for then you found your paradise.

[@drjlrust]

@@maniwyatt6559 As a woman (married now for many years), I can see this woman wanting her date to know that she values him as a person and not as a meal ticket. I would take it as a courteous gesture until she gives him reason to think that she's the overbearing type.

[@siegfriedo]

​@@drjlrustexactly

[@bluedogbluey6742]

You are my hero, you handled it perfectly. I have gone out with women who have got annoyed when I was going to pay for the meal. As if that by paying for the meal, it implied that they had to do something for me. I was offering to pay as I had asked them out and was just being a gentleman, nothing more. I had been out of the dating game for a very long time at that stage, thought I was a bit too old fashioned. Anyway, live and learn.

[@addibbaaj2]

Thank you for this video! For a long time I struggle to offer things like that because as social media and most entire manosphere told us, never do extra things on a date unless you really know her. My dad told me the same as you do but because I thought my dad is coming from different generation, the game must also be changed.

[@themutable5684]

Your response was excellent, and I believe it is important for men to hear from other men that it is not only okay, but indeed necessary and right to exercise discernment from the very beginning of any romantic involvement. Treating yourself with respect does signal to others that they ought to treat you with respect as well, but just as importantly it means that you will spend less time in disrespectful environments, freeing you up to meet people who will treat you better. This applies to friendships as well as romance.

[@luiscantelmo87]

I'm not much into apps, although it could've happened in all forms of pre-dating interactions, so you managed that arrogant girl beautifully, and I will keep your case in mind. I'm loving your man channel, keep the good work!

[@Superdessucke]

You, sir, are a true gentleman. You handled that unfortunate situation perfectly and with more grace than most would have. I will be watching your channel more to provide sound guidance for myself.

[@ClockWerkOrange]

Like the Bauhaus Prints

[@NicolasMiari]

I think inviting her out for drinks convey the idea that you want to get her drunk so you can "score". That's why a dinner invitation feels much more gentlemanly...

[@Gent.Z]

Although it might not be necessarily true, dinner suggests romance, whereas drinks suggests something more casual. I can understand why some women will only accept a dinner invitation.

[@WorldOfMasters123]

She must've been very entitled! Dodged a bullet with that one.

[@tresamize4581]

Really sad , a women would be lucky to go out with such a gentleman as you

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you, but hey, life goes on. I don’t like to get hung up on negative experiences

[@alineharam]

Oddly, this video was intense. I suppose I don’t stand up for myself enough. Courage.

[@TheEldritchGod]

Friend, I'm working on a book and this channel is gold.

[@ajhunt2882]

I enjoy hearing your experiences and stories and how you dealt with the situations in a gentlemanly manner. Like to hear more of your past experiences

[@JohnDoe-is3dh]

Great video!! Also, as a lot of conversation around a gentleman is about respect, please talk about how to get over memories of being disrespected or bullied and avoiding bullying in the future.

[@monkeychops1585]

I think you handled it exactly right. Well done!

[@samarthmath2952]

I have been putting not only woman but people around me on pedestal. No amount of effort can make up for the fact the individual before you does not respect you

[@Gryphus-R]

You did well in cancelling. I'll tell you how it goes if you went to the date (yeah I fell for that). She will take the free fancy food, don't give a shit about you or your conversation and then ignore you until she feels that she needs your help or wants free food again. I simped hard a girl I liked (which by the way had way more money than me) and I didn't draw the line. Big mistake and source of frustration. Lesson I learned is that if you feel a simp, probably you already are, and the only thing a simp achieves is frustration. From that day I have boundaries and it works much better.

[@Bjartone]

Very good, my response would have been exactly the same. On a side note: a gentleman should avoid Uber if nicer and more ethical modes of transportation are available, such as traditional taxi's, equipped with taximeters.

[@Gent.Z]

I don't think that's a bad idea!

[@jimmyzhao2673]

I wonder if the *first meeting* should be for coffee, I think a *dinner date* should be for the second or third meeting. When you go out for coffee or coffee & dessert, you can get out of there quickly if things are not going so well.

[@jshous]

This is the first of your videos that I like, admire. Good work.

[@matthewcormier8744]

Gent Z makes a good point

[@jelkel25]

I think you handled things well in that instance. If you aren't willing to tolerate mercenary behaviour the time to draw that line in the sand is before you have to waste an evening putting up with it. I very much doubt the woman in question was even slightly phased by you knocking her back and she could get back to looking for her preferred simps. As a con artist would say, you can't con a person who doesn't want anything, you can't make a guy simp who doesn't have expectations beyond a nice evening, it's so little to ask.

[@joywatson3764]

Good job…and I quite agree that a gentleman never suffers fools gladly.

[@ramywurgaft2308]

You are a real gentleman

[@emmour9288]

I was going to say something... But... In the end you were the MAN!!! Well done G

[@bobbysilver272]

You also saved yourself from listening to her self praise and BS at the dinner table.

[@j.st.jamesesq.9599]

Unfortunately, I learned the hard way not to put up with a woman’s bad attitude. I had such low self esteem, thinking it was rare to go out on a date, that whenever an attractive woman agreed to be with me, I would ignore the warning signs, similar to what you’ve described. It took me a long time to raise my self worth.

[@eddiegaltek]

I think she did enough to show she was not someone any man with an ounce of self-respect needs to associate with.

[@kyproset]

I'm a 62-year-old man and I believe a gentleman. I met this really high-value divorced woman through work. who showed interest in me. I had plenty of opportunity to develop a reasonable idea of what she stands for and also she had the same opportunity to judge me. She invited me to a lunch gathering at her house and the attraction grew even stronger to the point of her saying to the group what she is expecting from a relationship which is exactly what I expect as well. The problem is that I have no means of finding out how old she is and this is the very question no gentleman asks a lady. She has a 17 YO son, so the oldest she can be is around 50 which is way too young for me. I don't look my age and I dress well which attracts women of various ages. I want quality of character on top of beauty. If I'm together with her, there is no guarantee that in a couple of years the age difference will not show and I don't want to eventually be a burden to her. The mutual friends we have also don't know her age.

[@strangerdanger8462]

Sorry but I don't buy into this idea of " you don't ask a woman this or that..." A relationship should be an exchange in every area. If it isn't, then one person in the other's beeotch. If I share my age, or any other personal info, it is reasonable to expect same from her. If not, red flag, and my cue to hit the escape button.

[@johnroberts1141]

You are worrying too much.

[@AlejandroRenato]

I would give ir a chance!

[@michaelkainbacher6696]

Don’t think too much about it - 62 to 50 is not really a difference - I’m also 62 & my actual girlfriend is 29 & 33 years younger - in a stable relationship since almost 5 years.. 🖖🏻😁

[@thishandleisntavailablemofo]

You're too picky for your age

[@mirzah.5821]

You did the right thing. I am somewhat similar. I allow them to behave in that way two times and on the third I am cancelling the date or stopping the dating process. You need to allow women to behave in their ways to show you their real personality. It will reveal their true character and allow you to dodge a bullet so to speak. Never try to explain to them what she did wrong. It rarely ever leads to anything good and mostly goes bad anyway. Simply be respectful and thankful and remove yourself from that situation.

[@suzimajor9532]

Well played! This sounds like the kind of girl that makes all of us look bad. She obviously didn’t appreciate a man who was treating her with respect and dignity therefore she should’ve been dumped!

[@Gent.Z]

Thanks, Suzy. Indeed, women like that do (unfortunately) give others a bad name

[@vulturewaterbug]

He's intelligent enough to know that skank doesn't represent all women. Too many men do.

[@felixlaboy1453]

Amazing video and well said telling her how you feel

[@teenindustry]

I am a woman and was raised with the idea that the person who asks pays. On the first date it’s usually the guy. But one of my long term partners was still a starving student. We had coffee and he made me a picnic. We are friends to this day

[@muslihabdillah_2514]

Bravo. Another great wisdom from brother.

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you

[@leonardocabral1136]

The true top G. No way around it.

[@danielgabe9567]

Interesting with practical examples.

[@TalentComeToLight]

Would really appreciate if you made a video on becoming less insecure within a relationship.

[@ernestturner915]

Using tact is a really nice way of saying "screw you" to put it lightly..And you handled this situation with dignity and laissez- faire..Kudos!!

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you, sir

[@santoshparvatikar]

A gentleman provides emotional support to his partners and also expects emotional support in return. A simp only expects emotional support but doesn't have the wherewithal to provide emotional support.

[@Jrriverstone]

Always be kind of respectful, but if she becomes disrespectful, walk away ignore block because she does not appreciate it.

[@robertneblett6559]

I would have cut her off from the first message about who's paying. If you're a gentleman you're looking for a lady. That question was far from ladylike.

[@jakea3398]

I like how you wished her luck because she’s gonna need it

[@thunderking8925]

A simp is ignorant A gentleman is well aware

[@funesboy]

Thanks, great video. It was just what I needed to see.

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you

[@royal8286]

I remember when I dated a girl, who was pretty Rich. We texted a lot. Never texted with someone that much. After our First date, she started to text me less and less. I realised she lost the interest in me, which is ok. So I texted her to lose contact, because it’s a waste of time. She didnt want to. She Said she is pretty Busy, which wasnt true. I did a mistake and gave her a 2nd Chance. She ghosted me a week later. LOL

[@charlesedwards4160]

Simp !!

[@charlesedwards4160]

Simp

[@sammajor2075]

I like dining out. And fine dining is one of my interests. A "date",is just inviting a lady to briefly vìsit my life,and share an activity I already partake in. And I prefer to enjoy my coffee without feminine company. ☕

[@Gent.Z]

Exactly

[@cindersmolloy6584]

Keep up the good content. Men today need your advice. There are a lot of entitled men too and both sexes need to have standards, for their own self respect and integrity.

[@robkenyon6949]

That’s why you make a first date for coffee, tea, or ice cream - NOT DINNER. If she / he wants to hang out with you and get to know you, they won’t care how much you’re spending or not spending. An elaborate dinner with Uber rides, drinks, etc just puts too much pressure on both of you. If the first date goes well, THEN you ask them to dinner, IMHO.

[@christianvennemann9008]

My go-to first dates are Mexican or Japanese. The fancy dinner date is reserved for the third date, with the second date being a more "fun" date (some kind of fun activity; for instance, a haunted house if it's fall).

[@eyeheartsushi2212]

But he doesn’t like those kind of dates so it won’t work for him.

[@macummings7818]

Sounds like different strokes...! Ea person will attract their level - and I must say, a coffee date or similar will exclude you fr a certain more intentional level of dating experience - and woman! I guess that's ok w you!

[@Jrriverstone]

If a girl makes demands it’s over

[@boteanu.tudor6]

Video idea : How to text like a Gentleman. Something that doesn't only apply to women.

[@Gent.Z]

Great suggestion, thank you

[@ernestturner915]

Exactly 💯

[@TroyTempest1]

Why buy a book when you can join a library.

[@vadic06]

Random to say but in the future if there are ever james bond movie auditions you should attempt to get the part because no joke you look like you could be the next james bond you already got the flare 🤷‍♂️

[@adrianraygoza9221]

If you're in Chicago, we should connect. I'm a rising star in medical research and still learning to operate in a type of world that I never thought I would become part of.

[@Matdrox]

I really appreciate your content! Keep it rolling :)

[@BalladsofBahrain]

Hello Gent-Z, could you make a video on the gentleman's haircut?

[@JorisQC]

It's funny how people around me have such different opinions on the whole paying for the occasion if its your idea, my parents always taught me that it's the proper thing to do but many of my friends tell me; "hell no that's super old fashioned you just speak about what your plans are with the bill." It might be a cultural thing because I'm from the Netherlands and its a whole phenomenon here to split the bill using a payment request or something in that sense. Funny to think about.

[@devanhie]

I would've been very curious as to why she double confirmed every detail. Sounds like she has been burned before,stood up and she was just making sure of the boundaries. Of course I did not hear the vm and you said she had an entitled attitude,so that may have ended it for me too regardless of my curiosity!

[@Gent.Z]

It’s possible that she had those experiences in the past. However, I have never treated women that way so I’m not here to take the brunt of their bad view of men

[@davidwilliams1060]

It took some time to think. I would have kept the date. She let you know exactly what she expected. She’d probably been burned before on all questioned points, so no assumptions by her that you’d do the right thing. Much worse is a woman who quietly expects something, then continuously tells you forever when you didn’t read her mind and deliver.

[@2tallGamingMedia]

Not sure if you’ve done a vid on this or not but you should do one for what a gentleman writes in his bio on a dating app.

[@kylez5921]

I think it’s possible she’s just been canceled on many times, and just wants to to see you’re invested. Or that she legitimately doesn’t have money so needs to know you’ll be paying for everything.

[@Bobert72382]

It sounds like the woman in your anecdote had experience going on dates with ungentlemanly men, and was trying to vet you ahead of time. However, you’re right in that this kind of pessimistic thinking from women ruins the dating experience. It’s the same as if a man asked a woman over and over again if she expected him to take her to a five star restaurant or if she was going to string him along while dating someone else. A degree of realistic optimism is necessary in the dating market if you want to experience success, while a negative attitude, even if based off of negative experiences, will result in negative outcomes

[@jcronin3155]

That's a truly wonderful video. You haned it ss a gentleman should in regards to staying classy throughout, but I would have ended contact sooner, maybe after the second red flag.

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you. I totally understand why you would have cut things off sooner

[@rwither1]

This is an excellent channel

[@Larry-qz3es]

She tried to test you and see how far you would go to play into her hands. You stood on your principles and she lost a genuine man of character.

[@pensivepenguin3000]

Good message toward the end about not generalizing this experience to all women. It’s also fair to keep in mind all the terrible experiences women routinely have on these dating apps. Plenty of guys (none of us here, of course) can be boorish, horny pigs with only one thing on their minds. I’m grateful that I’ll be celebrating my 11th wedding anniversary tomorrow evening. I do not miss the dating scene one bit

[@NN-gy7xl]

this occurs a lot with online dating

[@1-7-0-1]

That is exactly what I do. We are like James Bond. If the wrong woman doesn't appreciate it. That's her loss I'll never change. I'm a well dressed man as well mate 🖖🏻