How a NARCISSIST Husband ACTS During a DIVORCE

[@JenGrice]

Thanks for watching! Keep in mind that I use "husband" because I coach women while surviving and to thriving after divorce. Learn more about this ministry, Surviving + Thriving Ministries, LLC, here...jengrice.com/about/

[@jozefinmovssesian5562]

Let me first thank you for ur support..... I'm realy need an advice.... I'm getting crazy.... I can't understand him.... I have 11 years old daughter that's why I stayed in this crazy humiliation and verbal abusing situation.... But I'm done... It's enough.... I'm scared.... Don't know what to do.... He told me he will file for divorce 1000 times but he didn't.... And now he wants to bring my family members along to discuss the after divorce situation.... Pls any advice will be appreciate Peace✌

[@angelmarie9308]

You are so true about Narcissist my never helping with the kids we never go anywhere he has never defendant me or our kids with his family. We are separate to him not part of his bloodline family. He knew 22 years ago after our son was born i had the baby blues he just went on with his hobby.. he a drummer and lefted me alone seen me crying and lefted. He told his mom about my dad molested me he used that against me. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder over 10 years ago and now he doesn't remember this. I decided to leave only he doesn't know

[@angelmarie9308]

And he knows I had a falling out with my family over this because my mom defends my sick dad.. so now he's trying to gaslight it by lies and says my mom tried to get him to hook up with my sister who I never got along with but I know he is a lie about that. And yes I. Always the bad guy. He had hit me been on pills drinking and bully and blames me. I have no friends or family and he knows it his mom is a Narcissist too. I don't deserve this now he trying to say I was leaving him at home with the kids while I lefted for days which is a lie . I never went anywhere he did not me. My car never worked or we never had gas money for my car I never heard 9f a Narcissist til about 3 years ago if I knew then I would of lefted and had support but I dont have anyone. No one at all. But I will not let him know I'm done so he doesn't have time to get under skin. He has cheated on me I know he has. Findings condoms in the car not to mention how he kick me to the side. He never done any for my birthday ever.. but he took it further and did not buy anything for Christmas for me for years even though I woke up at night he was gone saying he was Christmas shopping. Well not 4 me or the kids. His entry family has always hated me. Im romany and they are rasicit 10 year anniversary he let me think we was finally gonna to do something but no on the day he went to work saying he couldn't take it off but 2 days later he took off work. I truly hate the very sight of him. I know cause he got a record for domestic violence a felony charge of it btw.. smh that he will self destroy his own self.. I later found out that Narcissist and borderline personality disorder ppl seem to attract Narcissist seems fitting cause when we met when I was 17 he knew I miscarriage a baby he knew the doctor said I might not be able to have kids of my own. That was alot 4 a 17 year old to deal with..a few months later we got together he seemed like a gentleman and I got pregnant with our daughter and thats the 1st time he called me a bitch all because I was gonna throw up and he did not want to pull over. I grew up in a very abusive household sometimes I get beat so bad I had to hide my face so ppl could not see me. I'm scared but sick and very hurt by all the damage he did but I gotta do it I cant live sad and angry with him he broke the trust and doesn't see it that way. I have record him when he putting me down and calling me everything but my name. He does not know I have done this. I plan on saving money for a car cause I know he will take it away cause its in both our names. And no I have never cheated on him im so sick of ppl thinking every one with borderline personality disorder is a cheat!! Cause I'm not what my dad did to me will never make me thst kind of person I believe in God and karma 🙏 💯 and he is his own worst enemy and doesn't know it so I see thst as a blessing in a way. Wish me luck.

[@tbd5082]

It’s horrifying when you truly realize that the person you thought was your partner in life never really cared about you (me.)😱

[@dianabauer309]

I'm with you. 37 years of marriage 😭 how did I do it

[@blueeyes_lovesky]

It's is so hard to come to terms with the person you love vs the man-child he actually is.

[@tbd5082]

@@blueeyes_lovesky mind twisting, gut wrenching and soul crushing. I'm ok now and you will be too. 💜

[@BPb123]

Just started paperwork I'm so hurt, mad, scared. Married 27 years. I'm almost 47, just hope I can have a happy life n find myself again, finish raising my children in a happy environment.

[@tbd5082]

@@BPb123 Me and my kids are so much happier with him out of our lives. You can do it! Start exercising, even if it is just walking, it will help so much in so many ways release trauma from your body and mind. Hugs ps. I'm 48

[@deena3003]

I'm divorcing a narc. He's super controlling in a covert way. Two years ago I began noticing major issues I can't live with anymore. Insisting on driving me to and from work, get angry and stop talking to me when i go out to hang out with friends, push his political and religious views on me as if what he thinks is correct. He switched bank accounts and hides money from Me. Don't spend quality time with the kids and don't care about my opinions nor the kids. I'm glad I'm getting out of this toxic marriage

[@enevy3165]

👏 👏

[@roxyblahblahblog8016]

Same thing here

[@charam4883]

oh wow we have the same experience.. i’m thankful i was able to get out of my situation

[@BrNolife]

I married him for life. I loved him, adored him but when I started to get sick, I was afraid of cancer, I ended up with a psychiatric because all doctors have said that I am healthy. The psychiatrist told me to leave him immediately that that’s him who is making me sick. I would have probably never been able to leave him but he did when I told him what the doctors said. It took me six months to get over this thankfully to all these videos. I am healthy and happy again.

[@jillbriska2416]

You put my divorce experience to a T in a 15 minute video that I have been trying to explain for 5 years now-THANK YOU!! People that have not experienced it/witnessed it personally just can’t wrap their brains around this really happening. It does- people/things are not always what they seem. Often people don’t WANT to see because maybe it is inconvenient or it makes their truths/ observations not clear so they would then need to acknowledge that their ability to discern isn’t trustworthy. The narcissist comes off so believably- it is only a very few that are willing and able to see past the smoke and mirrors. My ex never stops trying to make me pay or see me in ruins- my health has suffered greatly from the stress but I am still here and still so grateful to have escaped. I often feel God carrying me and helping me regain some strength to keep going, letting me know he loves me.

[@nanahammond7068]

Same here

[@SusanMorales]

My abusive husband twists the dialogue and has had at least 3 different pastors show up to my house to talk to me about reconciliation without my knowing they were coming, nor my agreeing to talk with them. When I bring up the abuse, they seem to not believe me, and they want me to continue to endure it. He yells at me with rage in private and cries in public to people. He twists whatever I say, and uses it as an argument for himself later on. I stopped talking when I realized it was pointless and only hurt me more to not be listened to. It is unfortunate that some church leaders are so uneducated about how abusive marriages are destructive and are not at all capable to be dealt with as non-abusive marriages. Also, culture plays a big role. When I told a pastor lady my experience of him hitting me or being verbally abusive, she gave me an example of a woman in church whose husband hit her and broke her teeth, went to jail, and now he changed and they are still together. Even my own mom has a friend that told her her husband had pointed a gun at her and she pleaded with him not to kill her. And now he has changed a lot and is at church. I have a problem with this mindset, that women are to sacrifice their peace of mind and physical safety, all for staying married sake. I believe God loves women a whole lot more than wanting them to stay in abusive marriages. I refuse to be abused any longer, even if my experiences are not seen as "that abusive". I know my own reality, I have seen the effects it has had on me, and that is all that matters.

[@JenGrice]

I totally agree with you. I think God cares more about His people than the institution of marriage. Proverbs talks a lot about staying away from an angry man, calling him the fool.

[@heatherhanks-hill6373]

Record conversations..for your sanity!

[@SouthernGirl-ce7ws]

False , he doesn't care because he isn't there and you dont want them if you leave them then all of a sudden I'm not helping you and his children I have watched this for 17 years

[@leahsmith2078]

Yes!

[@celesteroney2895]

The same thing happened to me: he would go to many pastors, filling them with lies about me, then INSTRUCT them as to how to confront me with pages of condemnation on LEGAL pads. He brainwashed my two sons for years behind my back, even telling my handicapped son that I didn't want him. I'm heartbroken EVERY DAY! I can move on from him but not my sons. HELP!

[@marjoriemurphy9424]

Thank you. You mentioned you had a sociopath husband. You've described my ex. He is a criminal. He needs to go to jail.

[@crazymakerpleasestop]

I have a friend who decided to separate because of his N abuse. He had the nerve to get up in front of the congregation and tell everyone he forgave her. He never said what for except it made it sound like SHE was having an affair. The entire congregation shunned her from then on....she is the sweetest, kindest woman and she sure learned who her friends were.

[@Melanie-gq1ud]

This is my soon to be ex husband in a bit shell .. but he does not scare me anymore if anything he should run away from me now .. the abuse stops now for me .

[@lynnvs6372]

This makes me cry and educates me all at the same time.

[@David-ky3lr]

Hi Lynn I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this compliment. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….🌹🌹

[@sharnayapril2571]

narcissist husband! wow I can't believe that I have found the answer. I endured 11 ys of crazy traits that he displayed throughout my so called marriage. He was constantly displaying toxic behaviours towards me. I asked to apply for a divorce however it looks like I'll be going through some heartache as he wants full custody of my children. wish me luck.

[@JenGrice]

sharnay Ataleah willis - Of course he wants full custody, that's typical. Doesn't mean he'll get what he wants anymore! Prayers! 💜

[@gardnerhappy2114]

sharnay Ataleah willis another scare tactic. They want to keep you in fear. Stay strong.

[@gardnerhappy2114]

Chrissy Jenkins good job! You did it. Don't go back! You will go through some hard times but you can do it!

[@gardnerhappy2114]

Chrissy Jenkins Mine is still causing issues. Have to go down to court tomorrow and file for an emergency court date to pull him into court. He won't provide me with financials. I'm telling you it's been tough. Have had my share of depressed days but it's better than what I had with him. He will try using your kids against you. They stop at nothing to make you hurt. Stay strong. Your going to need that strength. He will pull at lot of crap out of his hat. Good for you. I can't wait to move forward and be done with my mine.

[@crazywanch101]

Update?

[@sheilaeast-crochetgirl]

To all the woman who are going through this : KEEP YOUR HEAD UP, BE STRONG!!! I'm in the middle of this storm also. He has his army, my kids standing behind him, all the people/friends did hear that I am the bad guy and also believe him. So my advise is: SPEAK UP and tell your side of the story. I lost a lot but I will survive and will come out stronger! And I hope that karma will do his work. KEEP SMILING, YOU ROCK AND CAN OVERCOME THIS.

[@Cadia369]

I’m afraid my only option is suicide. I don’t know what to do. He controls the money. I have none. Please pray for me.

[@romainecalm1108]

@@Cadia369 you are not alone 🤗

[@DivineMessenger34]

I'm going through this nightmare as well married 25 years and he too has my oldest son and all of our friends and his family the school and just about anyone that will listen to him he is also going for full custody of our 3 children under 18 he had a girlfriend 2 weeks after we separated and in one week introduced our kids to her my 10 year is devastated and my 3 year so confused my 15 is trying to stay as far away from him as possible this video described my situation to the exact he moved out and stopped paying our house and utilities he refused to get the only truck I have repaired came and took anything he wanted and 1 afternoon decided he would just walk around outside and take all of the extension cords he too our animals and the kids and I were evicted I had to pack find a place and move all by myself with no money he has maybe given me a total of 500 in the last 6 months only because I gave in to some demands, he thought I had a boyfriend, or because he needed to hide something from me and being nice would redirect my attention. My parents have helped as much as they can I can't afford an attorney so been doing all my own attorney work here it is 6 months later and I have emailed his lawyer that all I want is 50/50 custody and then we can be done and now he is refusing saying I'm not a good mom and he won't agree even though he the one that filed and has a girlfriend i would think that would be the easiest thing but no I'm wrong he won't because until I'm face down with no one or nothing he is going to continue hurting me. Our youngest 3 year old was hospitalized this past week in the pediatric ICU unit with pneumonia and respiratory failure I call him to let him know and ask if he could come up and stay with me I was scared too death his first response was will I have a bed I told him nevermind I can do it on my own he takes 5 hrs and show up at midnight we get to the icu floor get settled and the next day I went down and got us breakfast brought it back up and he was acting like nothing happened so then afternoon he says he was going to feed the animals take a shower grab some stuff and be back I asked if he was going to get us something for dinner he asked what I wanted I said surprise me he says ok I will be bk in a few hours. That was 330 pm at 630pm I call him and ask if he could bring double A battery he says yeah and then I asked what he decided on dinner he was like what do you mean I said remember you were going to surprise me with dinner he says I don't know what you're talking about I'm eating soup I said soup oh wait you just answered my question he says what I ask she there isn't she he says yes so I told him not to worry about it I would go get my own and he didn't need to come back now let me ask everyone if you were dating a man that wasn't divorced yet with small children one in the icu why would u drive 3 hours to his house just to bring him a pot of soup sit and watch hom eat for 5 hrs turn around and drive 3 hrs bk home? Anyway he shows back up 1130 pm with the baby gifts pillows for us blankets my favorite candy and dinner for both of us. The next day he leaves at 4pm and I don't see or hear from him again until Tuesday 6pm he ghosted all my calls and texts I was 1 hr from my apartment no money and no one to help me but he claims I'm the bad parent and he is so much better I was I. The hospital with my extremely sick baby 3yrs Fri-Wed night. Any advice or even encouragement because I am so broke down right now and I don't want to fight anymore.

[@Rabswood296]

Best thing to do is go no contact, no contact , only through solicitors/lawyers if having a divorce. He will bait you do not react.

[@Nut727]

Thank you for all the explanation. I have just recently realized i have been married for 30 years to a narcissist and i have discovered his real life. I am going through divorce now and your words are helping me a lot. Thank you.

[@paulohlsson27]

Hi Nooria, how's your day going with you?

[@Nut727]

@@paulohlsson27 Hi! My life is sooo much better...! Having a great day. Hope you are too❤️

[@paulohlsson27]

@@Nut727 I'm doing great and it's nice to hear from you. How are you spending your spare time? I love the outdoors including traveling and reading books, cooking, gardening and watching movies and you?

[@paulohlsson27]

@@Nut727 how was your weekend,hope it was splendid?

[@lindapooh1970]

Wow. Spot on!! I showed my bishop bruises all down my back and my narc now ex husband STILL convinced him and church leaders I was the abusive one!!! He said I was a cheatet, druggie, partier. And I'm a holistic naturalist! Very scary to divorce the narc. But knowledge is power. I didn't know any of this 7 yrs ago. Stay strong ladies!

[@JenGrice]

Amen! You too!

[@christine5294]

Hang in there, lindapooh. I was engaged to my narc. I cashed out my pension and we bought a house together, based on my good credit history (his was awful). Soon he became emotionally abusive, and it quickly morphed into physical abuse. The night he attacked me, I ran for my life and neighbors phoned 911. He actually convinced the sheriffs that I was the aggressor and I was arrested for the first time in my life. I'm convinced that the commonality of this story speaks to the charm and self-serving manipulations of true narcs. If they can't have us, no one can. If we dare to withdraw from the relationship, they will bring down all manner of pain to us. They might even go to extremes and actually attempt to kill us. Mine did. He had my purse, my debit and credit cards, and they issued an RO against me so that he got to stay in the house and I was literally homeless for the first time. It was a living nightmare. The night of the attack, I had a black eye, and skin gouged out of my right arm. At the DV shelter they documented bruises all over my body. I looked at Casenet and found that he had a huge history of infractions, one of which was assault and a RO with stalking, and another was of assault of a teenager whose injuries required medical attention. My background history was spotless. So your story isn't shocking. I'm disheartened that the church or law enforcement can be duped in this way. It's a judgment call and God help you when they don't get it right. It's as if after we bought this house, he believed he owned me. I postponed the wedding, so after he died (poor baby drank himself to death in his self pity party), I had all the responsibilities of a widow, but none of the protections. I'm dealing with a voluntary foreclosure, and scads of paperwork. I trusted him. I paid for everything, but he titled all the vehicles in his name only, with no TOD (transfer on death). Since we weren't married, the things I paid for will go into probate and left to his sister. She says she'll sign them over to me, but that remains to be seen. Meanwhile, I'm broke, and I'm starting over in my retirement years with practically nothing. It sucks. But maybe in sharing our stories, we can spark some recognition in others who are dealing with narcs. If just one person escapes, it's worth it. Be well, look to the future, and please remember to nurture yourself. It's a process, but I'm learning.

[@lindapooh1970]

Christine. Thankyou sweetie! Its so good to know someone out there really understands!! I'm sooo sorry what you went through. I truly understand your pain. As much as you know your life is better now without them. You still hope the son of a butches reap what they sow. Especially for the abuse against the kids! God bless you. Blessings:)

[@lindapooh1970]

@@oscarwilliamson1264 Thankyou so much! That is very kind. God bless you. Take care😠🙏

[@kimberly1221]

@@christine5294 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@biaj3429]

holy SMOKE! you nailed exactly what I'm experiencing with my ex. from the divorce to the smearing to the running to the church and building his army against me. I wish I could have seen it coming sooner. Dealing with him as a co-parent has been a nightmare!!!

[@JenGrice]

Yep, I can relate. Thanks for your comment!

[@margaretfigert3868]

Narcissist hubby and I just celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary, and I turned 80 years old six weeks later. I've learned boundaries, which helps, but still haven't learned other skills. My mental health is good, but my emotional health is sometimes a train wreck. Thanks, Jen Grice, for the insights, and thanks to all who replied. It helps to know one isn't alone. Finally, I thank God for faith in His Son, Jesus Christ. He's gotten me through some rough times, so I'm okay!

[@Rabswood296]

Long suffering.

[@mulletsandmustaches8656]

Mine stalked me and my oldest daughter physically and through texts. He was off the charts going off the deep end. I can't believe I didn't get a restraining order. Its was absolutely frightening

[@JenGrice]

So glad you are safe now.

[@queequeg5675]

Control, manipulation, “winning” When I told my ex (currently in the middle of a divorce) the relationship was over, he took all of our money. Hired a lawyer without my knowledge, filed for divorce, and then three days later filed an ex parte hearing to kick me out of my house and gain full custody with me only getting supervised visitation due to a supposed substance abuse problem. I’ve spent thousands to prove he is a liar, but the court doesn’t seem to care that I’ve proven him to be lying about all of this. I’ve had to get a hair follicle test to prove I don’t do ANY substances. I don’t even drink. We share a three year old. I’m the only one who works or takes care of the home and our child. I work from home full time and have an amazing supportive job. But he tells everyone that he did everything at home. I’ve come to realize WHAT he is, not WHO he is. He is not human, he’s a monster in human costume.

[@ParalegalSolutions-b3y]

Any updates?

[@jaligawesa]

He looks like an unstable person 😮

[@lorijm28]

You are really a special soul that is open and honest. You found your purpose in life and woman like me are grateful for you.

[@christinemorse5100]

I am meeting with an attorney tomorrow. Married four years. It nearly killed me because I relapsed with alcohol and that was his wildcard. He even brought me before the church elders about my alcoholism and then as I struggled to maintain sobriety, he completely ignored or abused me. I met with his ex-wife (of 30 years) on Sunday. She said she cried for me when she saw that he was marrying again.

[@JenGrice]

They go for your weaknesses. I'm glad you're getting out and glad to have you along on the journey to healing. I can relate to the first wife. I feel saddened for the second wife!!

[@leahsmith2078]

Why didn’t she tell you thohhh

[@deannarounds3295]

@@leahsmith2078 In my case I knew the next woman/victim of his and I worried about her every minute. We knew each other but we were not friends and he had told her horrible stuff about me - it was unlikely she would have believed me over him at that time.

[@leahsmith2078]

@@deannarounds3295 I learned that lesson last summer when I tried to warn his new supply and she lashed out at me in a big way. I’ll never try to warn anyone again

[@deannarounds3295]

@@leahsmith2078 If yours was like mine he told her a bunch of BS about you. I know mine did.

[@bendowney5822]

Fantastic video. My gf and I are watching this. She's in the middle of a separation/divorce with a narc and every single point you are making is 100% bang on. Well done!

[@polisticyoga]

Are y’all still together

[@ninette8350]

Hi Jen. I only just found this now and I wish I'd found it sooner when I was going through divorce from a Narcissist. He was textbook and I could have learnt a lot from your video but as it is it's so good to get confirmation that I wasn't imagining all his crazy behaviour and I wasn't to blame. Somehow knowing this info gives me peace. Thank you and keep up the good work.

[@JenGrice]

I'm glad Ninette! You're welcome here too.

[@paulohlsson27]

Hi Ninette, how's your day going with you?

[@karenhempfling9180]

I can't believe there are other men out there like my husband. You are describing him to a T. I actually didn't know there was a name for it! Hiding money, and ignoring the kids, going to the neighbors to complain. I will be so glad when my divorce is done. I got a no contact order and it is the best thing I have done.

[@David-ky3lr]

Hi Karen I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this compliment. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….🌹🌹

[@Dana_Church]

Thank you for doing this especially for women in the church..

[@paulohlsson27]

Hi Dana, how's your day going with you?

[@nr1785]

It’s horrible how they accuse you of being the bad person when in fact it’s them who is.

[@antoinette9212]

22 yrs first marriage, I had no idea that their was such a thing as narcissism. You have just confirmed my suspicions , that's after finding out my youngest son is one. I am in my 70 s and only just realising how messed up it is trying to make a relationship work for so long. Divorce was frowned upon by the cult we belonged to, in the end I threw the whole lot to the curb. Still I think it's left its scars!! My daughter has just realised she is divorcing from an overt narcissist, her dad was covert as is my son,my heart goes out to my daughter, she has 2 girls that is using to the full, but at least my daughter is aware. Does not stop me worrying though!! Thank you for this info, very informative!!!!!!!❤

[@freeyourmind8849]

I lived this crap. its royally horrible. I hope no one ever goes through this torture.

[@kimberlydouglas9575]

100% in this situation. Can't believe I've been in this trip for 10 years and just realized it two years ago

[@krystaldavis9434]

Wow! You must be a fly on the wall in my house! Everything you describe is my “future ex-husband”. It’s about to be a wild ride on this divorce road. 😩 Pray for me! 🙏🏽

[@jcnlaw]

Experienced divorce lawyer here. Divorcing a narcissist can be brutal. It is best to vet very carefully and get educated about narcissistic personality disorder BEFORE even considering getting married. Stay safe out there!

[@jaligawesa]

Wow!! 😮

[@luanntexascitizen4345]

I'm a brand new subscriber! Thank you for your series of videos, Jen! I have been married for almost 8 years now, and just figured out a year ago that my husband really is abusive. He fits the profile to a tee! As a Christian woman, I forgave him for the first affair, and after the second recently and still ongoing, I'm done. When I saw and read the text messages they had, I felt immediately a spiritual change. I felt like my marriage was over, and I wasn't even there! There are the classic narcissistic elements, but no physical abuse. I asked him to leave for a separation...he refused. I know its all about the money at this point. As his second wife, he can't afford to lose more of his pensions and disability income, so he isn't initiating any separation or divorce. Too bad. I have reached the point where I am looking out for myself. I want to be fair, and I need what I need to move on. We don't have kids together so that is a blessing. I hear people say, "its just too easy these days for people to get a divorce." I think getting married was easier. I have to get ducks in a row for about 5 months before I serve papers and get the house on the market. My attorney encouraged me to go the separation route because 10 years of marriage would help me in the long term. I'm trying to think long term while keeping the peace and using the 'gray rock' method. Blessings!

[@JenGrice]

Luann Kelly Combs Welcome! Glad to have you. Prayers for guidance! 💜

[@kasch7574]

Luann Kelly Combs Hope you're still going strong and not loosing your destiny. Your in an hostile surrounding. I hope you'll make it!

[@David-ky3lr]

Hi Luann I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this compliment. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….🌹🌹

[@christyfontaine816]

Spot on, Jen. Thank you for sharing this, in this time of me desperately needing to see this. 16 years later, I'm finally on my own and breaking the cycle. It's quite a process, considering they will never know they are wrong. Bless and Release!

[@Angell_Lee]

Kudos for doing this Jen, so glad you get out and are still beaming with light & love! May you enjoy each day like heaven/paradise xo

[@sunnyfassbinder]

Geezzzz you hit the nail on the head. Exactly what I live with it's a nightmare. Thanks for you video and you're so young, amazing

[@JenGrice]

Thank you very much! I'm much older than I look. I have 2 kids in their 20s.

[@clrought]

She right if you're going through a divorce with a Narcissist. Have & keep a no contact order. I personally learned the hard way. It not hurt & destroyed me. It has caused a lot of pain for my children. They are very good con-artist & using you mental & emotional. & turning people on you & even you.

[@clrought]

Also beware when you go with them to court. They had years to get to know how to make you act crazy. In front of judge they will seek to push your buttons. I was trying to stop his physical & verbal abuse.

[@JenGrice]

Yes, no contact = PEACE!

[@tn41249]

My husband does the same thing to my kids. His mom, brother and two of his friends are this way too.

[@gardnerhappy2114]

Storm very common behavior for the narcissistic person. If they are caught doing something they feel they are entitled to do, they will deny it. Then they make you think you are crazy and imagining it. They feel they do no wrong and will put the blame on you. They will play the good guy in every situation and get others on there team. It sounds like your guy is like my soon to be ex. I started noticing a change in what he wanted when we were having sex. Get out. It's not you and don't except the blame for his actions. The cycle goes round and round. I suggest you look at the domestic violence circle and see if your relationship might fit the pattern on that circle.

[@flyingveda]

In the process of divorcing mine. He freaked when I told him I didn't like his behavior.

[@sandrasutton7663]

Wow, your videos have helped me SO much. It’s just mind-blowing. Everything you say in many videos I’ve watched, it’s like you know my husband personally! I can relate, and learn so much from your videos! I’m amazed! I’m so so so glad I found you! My husband of 9 years, 3 kids all 5yrs and under, has struggled with abuse and alcohol, just admitted to adultery during our entire marriage and left us last month, and I just began the nightmare process of restraining orders/divorce. I’m heartbroken and lost and sad and just a mess.... thank you for your videos. You have no idea how much they mean to me!!!!! So so so helpful!!!!!!

[@JenGrice]

You're welcome. Glad to help!

[@sheilamosley4982]

This Wonderful Lady knows what she’s talking about she’s hitting the Nail on the head very good video

[@sheilamosley4982]

@@oscarwilliamson1264 I divorced him over 20 years ago and than

[@sheilamosley4982]

@@oscarwilliamson1264 I’m from Nashville Tennessee USA

[@momof4708]

Thank you so much !! I have had experience with Narc step sister and Narc step mom, but when you were describing the Narc divorcee , you described my dad to a T. I knew something wasn't right !! It all makes so much more sense!! Wow!! How ironic that the One parent I did have , my mom, was the one that was blamed of being mental, was the one that was in fact , Not mental and they ones pointing fingers at her , Where mental!!

[@JenGrice]

Pdg71 Mom -- You're welcome! And I hear that A LOT... that the children often believe and side with the male narcissist because he got to them first and spun the story to make himself look good and his ex-wife bad. Kids will turn away from their own mother (most times to live with dad and/or not to speak to the her for years). The dad calls her "crazy" only to find out that she's the healthiest of the whole family because she sought help after the divorce while he just continued playing his manipulative games trying to cause problems between family members. That's the crazy!!! I'm so glad you are learning truth for your mother! 💜

[@joyanew1974]

Oh my word. Everything in this video applies to my marriage. Divorce was finalized last month after months of gaslighting, shaming, trying to hide money, and finding someone new. 🤢😞

[@nicoleali9532]

All I can say is WOW!!! She described my ex husband like she knew him personally I thought I was the only person going through this

[@sarahAnn812]

SO true!!! Two years later and still dealing with this. :(

[@JenGrice]

Sadly, many are. That's why I keep writing and keep talking. 😉 Walking with you!

[@bellanewfie]

Wow you described my ex husband 100% omg ......great video thank you

[@Suzanne33418]

This video is spot on. As I listen to this at 3:19a.m. I'm just days/weeks away from filing, finally, after 19 years. I'm really scared actually of what will happen when he's served. I know God will be holding my hand throughout this valley. SO many women need this information. Great job for doing this video.

[@CarriannJohnson_GrittyGlory]

MrsSuzyClark .... can you share what happened after you filed? How are you holding up? I’m about to file and praying God will be with me. I need a supernatural strength.

[@JaxStar5]

Thank you¡ this is great information. I think my husband is a narcissist or at list he has a lot of a narcissistic personality.... we are separated due domestic violence. I am discovering that I am a codependent.

[@JenGrice]

Hi Jacqueline. You're welcome. And glad to have you here. Personally, I don't use the word "codependent" to describe a domestic violence *victim* because most people wouldn't wish this treatment on their worst enemy. Although we can and should do some healing work to no longer be a target of these types, I don't believe it's our fault that they're extremely selfish, uncaring (no empathy), and abusive. I think calling someone "codependent" is just another way to victim blame and I won't participate. I wish you well in your healing and as you move forward. I'll have more videos up soon. Thanks for the encouragement! Take care!

[@juliaburgess1495]

January 1, 2024 This is wonderful information. I was married to a narcissist, my daughter was as well. This describes a lot more than the husband. It is a detailed great litmus test to tell you: “ We are not crazy nor are we imagining this!

[@MsKittie]

I heart breaking when you truly realize that the person you thought was your partner in life never really cared about you and manipulated the entire time

[@crazymakerpleasestop]

This is RIGHT on. Been there done that. Began my divorce in June 2015 hoping to finalize 3 months later. He drug it out until April 2016 when we went to mediation. During mediation he insisted over and over he wanted to go to court. Luckily the mediator, a man, called him on his crap and he settled after I paid him off (he does not recall that). My son was against the divorce until my X went out for a visit. My X treated my daughter in law just like he did me. My son wanted him back on a plane and sent home. From then on....they both understood. My friends X drug it out for 3 years. No children left at home in either case.

[@sweetcreemaker]

19 years! I have enabled this mess enough. He tried that abuse crap years ago but he did not like jail. He is everything else you described. He has not touched me in months, and then month before that. But promises he will do better. and never does. Lies, broken promises, cheating, manipulating. Now I have breast cancer and he acts concerned but I get no support as far as emotional. I would lean on friends if he had not ran them away years ago. So with this diagnosis, I am getting back to me. screw this house- sell it, screw the cars- he can drive them up his vain a@@, and these kids are almost 18. I'm done loving am man that dont love me but loves how comfortable our home is and get delicious dinners. He can eat the lies he has told me. i'm done taking his rage. Now he will feel mine. Cutting clean away!

[@JenGrice]

Prayers for your healing!!

[@10misstyson]

I pray all is well with you 🙏🏽 please respond to this message if you are still pushing and becoming stronger for your healing?

[@shortville2]

I'm a guy and this video was spot on! I ordered the book you recommended. Thank you!

[@MillieRat318]

You've nailed it 100%. I wished i landed on this video 2 years ago. I would have never let him make my life a living hell like he has done. Smear campaign starting with the church community, knowing very well the relationship ended because of him. Thank you for sharing.

[@loganorin]

This is actually my wife described perfectly now during our divorce......

[@richa211086]

So true!!! I could relate to each and every word you said. Thanks.. your video has been really helpful.

[@pattypink1374]

Everything Jen said is on point, I went through this, and still going through this now.

[@notesbynaq]

THIS is so on point...I'm so speechless.

[@FlickeringEmber]

This is spot on. Freshly divorced from my narcissistic ex husband.

[@jodihowell8077]

This is spot on. This is my husband ( future ex ) to a T. It's like you're talking about him.

[@sharonjudd7786]

Jen, you are describing my ex exactly. I just went no contact after moving out. I am going to an attorney when I can, to divorce him. He has moved all our money into accounts I cannot access. He left me penniless. When my car, which is in his name broke down he refused to fix it. He did not care that I was in a helpless position. I had a big career, when I married him. Now 20 years later, I am retired with no significant income to take care of him in the style he requires. He has hidden his assets. He has lied to our friends about me. He has had many affairs and has a new fuel source. Even tho I left him, he is telling everyone he left me and has a new girlfriend. Lots of financial abuse. Has not given me a penny in 7 months. Lies about everything. When his mouth moves, a lie is coming out. I’ve questioned myself a million times over long convos we had agreeing on something important, and then when the time comes, he tells me I am crazy we never discussed that and I am a liar and am stupid. He is covert and everyone comments on what a great guy he is. I am done! Thank you for saving women’s lives......literally.

[@lorabor8967]

Sounds like my soon to be divorced hubby. Moving money around, not paying alimony, so I finally got a court date to go after our assets. If I go down(no monies), he's going to go down right along with me. It's so peaceful now, no one screaming at me, the woman he cheated with and lives with gave him herpes and now constantly yells at him. I really wish him well

[@jaligawesa]

😮this is scary!😱

[@Demetha_Khuba]

Absolutely amazing video, you hit the nail on the head and I felt like you were literally talking directly to me. I’m trying to get away from my narcissist husband but it’s complicated.

[@ZoosieBrain]

I am so very glad to have found this, was married to a lawyer, lived in his hometown, his mother was a secret alcoholic narcissist with a psychology degree and he was extremely the same, was told he was sociopathic, my secret fear. The children were damaged and I watched it all unfold while trying to get away, support the children and be the fixer. He would not grant me a divorce until the kids were through college on scholarships. He lost our home - I have no answers but learned I was not going to obtain any closure as I darn near lost every shred of my sanity. My children have done well, I know they have but my daughter is confused and has not spoken to me for three years now... I understand how this has happened and I pray she will not suffer regrets when she figures out how she has been manipulated by this sick man who just destroyed my life. I wish I had had better knowledge 15 years ago, heck 25 years ago, but I had never been in such a web, did not know people did consciously do great, great harm, planned out... I had extremely good parents and family members. He called and wrote letters disparaging me, he took every cent I had until I was impoverished. Still, I had him sign loans but because I did not file them in court he would not repay them, he announced when we were years in with a mediator (whose wife, it turned out was a friend of his brother). A divorce with a narcissist ATTORNEY is a very dangerous experience because they are literally taught to kill (with mere words) in law school. I try to advise young people to know well who they are marrying, especially an attorney, before committing to a marriage, especially one with children. It was a nightmare, I do not know how I did not die, I almost did just from sheer horror and fear, but also had an inferior infarction. I wish I had known then what I know now. As a strong person, a spiritual person, he had to whittle me down with the most devious of actions and words. I just turned 60 and laughed all the way as it seems so young - but the wisdom gained from almost 20 years of pure nightmare is the real prize realized. I realize he will never stop trying to do harm to me, something I was told by an expert who recognized him for what he was and gave to me THE MASK OF SANITY to read. I hid that book in the closet of my room in the dump the kids and I were living in after our home was lost (now I know he did not pay the mortgage for 24 months!) almost too afraid to read it, just the title was enough. I flipped through some pages... I was afraid my children might find that book. I was so sick then, still trying to fix what was wrong with him - and to tend to the needs of the children very much alone - it was years before family members admitted they had received calls that fingered me as a terrible person... I began to question myself, I fell apart without family. Be careful not to move too far from family when married, they can't see you and the narcissist is willing to defile every bit of you and use that distance to their advantage. While my mother quickly figured out the barrage of lies and destructive words and actions upon my character, she was getting older, lived far away and could support me with encouragement to live through this lawyerly-tainted nightmare. He spread doubt about me in a preternatural way, it was beyond my capability to keep up with his harmful intentions because of the children, how best to raise them despite his unbelievable attacks. My son, who would not harm another began to harm himself, a horror his father turned no concern to and was angry the two times I called him to be present with me in the ER. I never bothered to ask the man for help again. My son escalated his attempts and received no proper empathy from his father, I refused to give up, he would not die on my watch, and many years went on like this - no sleep, hyperalert, and alone - as well as trying to protect our daughter, an extremely sensitive being, from the worst... which is an impossibility in total. Our son is doing extremely well, the past three years of silence from our daughter has brought a new destructive force to life, her memories have been confused, her father has won what he called a "tennis match" for now. She stopped contact with me when my mother passed away, when her brother left to get his PhD overseas, and, frankly, there I was with a nervous breakdown trying to understand. I tore myself apart, inside out only to discover no, I was not deserving of this treatment, she has been injured despite all attempts not for her to be so... it has been a nightmare for me, I don't know how I am sitting here now writing this save my faith and still some iron in my backbone. I love my daughter in the special, extraordinary way mothers love their daughters, she is sunshine on my face, or was, and I wait. My son says she will come back, I do not have that surety. I have deep concern about her psyche, her well-being when and if she is able to see how she has been manipulated. I continue to work on myself, that I might be present and available if that day ever comes. Life continues to be tenuous, I continue to heal myself, I learned quite well that I am the only person who can heal myself. It has been a long road. I am just learning to trust another being in my life. I can never trust the man I finally got away from. He continues to try to destroy me because it is like sport for him and I realize his attempts to do so in the past - attempts to truly utterly destroy me, homicidal in truth - did not meet his expectations, so I remain a bright, shiny thing he is not done toying with. I am not living in absolute terror anymore, I can't be in the same room with him, I can't see him, I do not speak with him - all to save myself. What a shame I must be that way, what a shame he is sick as he is, how I wish the children had parents who did a "good" divorce and remained friends. I have even thought I could fake it so they could have this, but I know better. He is subtle but effective in destroying any happiness that might be! I finally was divorced with nothing settled in a normal way, years after he first walked out and then walked back in. There is my biggest mistake, letting him move back in. He moved back to enact his rage, to do as much damage as he could. My big mistake. It hurt the children beyond my comprehension and expectation. He did it to hide who he was. He is incapable of caring about others. I care deeply about others and that is what he could not have. He still can't have it, can't take it from me. I had pulmonary emboli when pregnant with our daughter, our son a toddler. I should have understood clearly his inability to care when he left the house even though I could barely breathe... and was in ICU a few hours later, where I was kept for 10 days. My blood gasses were off, of course, but I knew something was seriously wrong and I drove myself to town, with my toddler son, for care. I should have called an ambulance, but... already I was not thinking right, driving myself to town was less expensive than an ambulance and my condition had not impressed seriousness from him. Frightening to think back on how dangerous that day was. The good news is that we all survived. But, presently, with years of grooming, he successfully has taken the joy and sunshine of my daughter from me. He has warped her thinking, her emotions, her memories. I can see him smiling. I will never let him know how badly he harmed us all, my job is not to judge, I believe in a higher form of judgment which is not mine to give takes care of us all. I can only keep at reclaiming myself and aiming at a fulfilling life after the years of confusion and darkness and dread. I do applaud these videos and the books I've now read, and wish I had seen them 20+ years ago. Nevertheless, the access to information helps me continue to flesh out all I "lost" surviving a nightmare I thought none or few could understand. I still have shame and fear and disbelief, but less and less and less. It takes a great deal of work to survive and reclaim; one must never quit, never give up. I look forward to feeling free and happy 24/7 and work with my therapist to see myself as a viable being worth love to this day. Also, I have been doing "brainspotting" therapy with a neuropsychologist and it is helping enormously. I advocate this therapy, especially for rewiring the stubborn traumas creating PTSD, CPTSD into "memories" instead of trauma, stored in the brainstem. Thank you. Blessings are found on this journey, even if you think it will kill you, hold on to reality best you can, self-love can return. It takes ... process. Hopefully, at least one person who understands, too! History has taught me there is always the right person in the right place at the right time. May all have at least one clear person when they most need it in such a gamble of a life, and may they know trust in and by this person/persons.

[@suzannethompson4157]

Susan, it sounds more like you are dealing with a sociopath than a narcissist. The main difference between the two is that a sociopath will systematically take you down, a narcissist is abusive but they have more limited awareness of what they are doing.

[@kasch7574]

Thank you for sharing.

[@ZoosieBrain]

I do not understand how to completely let go of my daughter. I do not know yet how to reconcile what has happened, and I love her, I miss her. So very much. Not a word. Can't let it kill me, I have probably been through the worst, but it is a current of great sorrow in my river. How??? Can one do this. I realize it is her life and that helps a bit sometimes, but man, hard to navigate every day. Is there a cure? And yes, he is a sociopath, was even homicidal at times. It is mind boggling how he planned, the pstchological tools, the brutality. I do not want to see my daughter accept this - possibly genetic - life philosophy as it betrays her true nature. She is a smart beautiful person. Still lost, marvel at those who have found some peace from this pain.

[@suzannethompson4157]

Susan Hall Susan, what you are going through is really tough and I know you are in a lot of pain as I am as well preparing to leave a narcissist. Some things that have helped me to cope have been excellent self care, reaching out to girlfriends and exercise even if all i can muster is a gentle walk to the mailbox. There is a message online by Pastor Jeff Arnold titled “I will not die in my disaster” that I watch often. I do believe your daughter will come back to you but that is little comfort at the moment. Prayers to you for strength and comfort, be very kind to yourself. Suzanne.

[@mirriammaila4037]

Thank you....This has given me courage.....Thank you for this message.

[@polisticyoga]

Thank you this is SO helpful. My soul is screaming in pain right now 😢

[@RachelleErwin-nr9df]

Excellent and thank you for this information..spot on!! Unbelievable that people can be this way.

[@jsmith7213]

This is excellent!!!! She is so accurate and informative.

[@torbjorkette]

wow. Great video! So. SOOOOOO. true. My ex is still obsessed with me, delusional that I love him/am jealous. Sad to see so many others dealing with this, yet glad to see I am not alone. What you say is so true. Yep Said if I left him he´d make sure I never saw our kids again, cheated and thinks I am jealous of her/want him (delusional--*I* left him). Still dealing with this jerk. He still uses our kids to hurt me. Wish I spoke out LOUD from the second it started, as I just thought it was temporary, but nope. Continues. worst.parent.ever. our kids deserve him to be a better father. good luck everyone!:)

[@fresias4me624]

Paige karlsen I agree Paige!! I wish I had told my family and some trusted friends the minute it started but it's so hard to even describe why the behavior is hurtful... like many years ago when I bought sheets on sale that matched those in our guest room (which he had picked out) and his only response was, "I'll take them back." in a flat monotone. I was so hurt and said "why?? what is the matter with them they are the exact same pattern?" Him: "They are not white." and walked away. The ones HE had bought where white.

[@JenGrice]

Yes, it's funny how they cheat but they're most jealous!! And the threats. Always threatening divorce. They just want control.

[@torbjorkette]

lol. Yes he did (when I was pregnant! before I found out about the cheating) *I* left him the second I realised he´d cheated, and TOLD him so...he still thinks I love him, want him back WTF and am jealous WTF. Yep he still tries to intimidate, threaten me and use our kids to hurt me (revenge for leaving him just like he said). Yes, they just want CONTROL. Luckily not all men are like that!:) hope you find a good one:)

[@zoeylatshaparker99]

We moved to get out of a bad situation and I knew I only brought the "plague" with me. He never cheated, he really struggles with confidence. I try to be careful. He threw me across the kitchen bc I'm trying to postpone Easter dinner -covid... I wanna get out. But my name is also on this house. I am not leaving without my kids. He will not leave.

[@spacegrl]

Omg...you are speaking about my life for the last 8 months. 100%

[@nicoleali9532]

Wow She nailed it perfectly!!

[@melissa8696]

Amazing message!

[@GoodwinKayla1]

Been married less than a month and already about to go through a divorce bc this is exactly who I married. Thank god we don’t have children together‼️

[@tmichele8922]

JaKayla Pritchett omg. We talked about marriage. Now this is frightening

[@issac7787]

I'm a guy and I just want to say to all woman be strong. I dated someone who was in process of divorcing his abusive ex husband and his constant threat to her mental well being and being childish and immature is so miserably sad to see. I can't imagine myself living in that shoe so stay strong. It's tough seeing a strong single mother woman who is trying her best yet getting harassed by this ex husband. Angers me and just plain sad.

[@melindasmith3713]

You are week if you can't stay and raise the kids . Weak woman do that to the kids

[@melindasmith3713]

Kids grow up and see rite or wrong .

[@teachctrox]

You literally described my ex husband to a t. Worst part is that I dated someone similar immediately after my divorce. I think I’m a magnet for these losers and I never want to have a relationship again.

[@paulohlsson27]

How's your day going with you?

[@Barneyjo]

This is all very very real and true!

[@LisaStanton-aka-anewlis]

OH MY GOD!!!!! @17:00 about the gas-lighting is almost EXACT word for word!!!!!!

[@nomusamsa2227]

thank you so much for this, its just helped me.

[@zw5795]

I'm in the process of trying divorce my husband now. he says that he will not make things hard for me but I do not know if I should trust it.

[@alyssab7842]

Gemini Light DON'T trust ANYTHING he says!!!

[@kristiec35]

Don’t Trust him trust Only God

[@KJ-tl8gx]

You are narrating my life. I wish I'd found this months ago.

[@julienickalls4590]

hey,do you know my ex personally? he's doing all the smear tactics and has been feeding my little boy a Web of lies and manipulating and controlling my boys emotions.he even started seeing one of his family members who he'd cut off for 15yrs ,I know now it is to grow his "army' ..what the heck do I do 😕 my boy is struggling. I just keep using my mantra ' safe and secure' is how I want to make my boy feel despite my boy verbally attacking me (the way he says things,you just know it's come out of an adults mouth) .. I'm in so much emotional pain for myself and my little one ! I'm desperate to stop it 😕

[@JenGrice]

You are not alone! You can see by the comments that most narcissists have the textbook ways of acting. They do lie and try to turn their kids against their mother - most times great moms too. And when a boy grows up in that home, seeing how his dad treats his wife (the child's mom) with great contempt and disrespect, they often become just as abusive to the mom and to their future wives. Have you seen or heard of Lundy Bancroft's book, "When Dad Hurts Mom"? It's a great book and helped me see the truth. Maybe it will help you too!

[@julienickalls4590]

Jen Grice hello...your reply has only just popped up in my notifications I do apologise! I have not heard of the book but I will be sure to Google it ... i know I'm not alone as in my circumstances,but I am very much alone in every other way so hopefully the book will help x thank you for your time x

[@sassafrasco.2630]

That’s my ex-wife down to a T. Smearing in court documents Crocodile tears in the hearings. I’ve been alienated by my family through her for years my best friends were selectively eliminated until there was no one left to support me. She filed a restraining order against my stepmother which put a strain on the relationship between my father and I and we hadn’t spoken in over a year until one day I was at the hospital with my son and discovered that my father had a stroke and passed 4 days later. During that time he was in a coma and I never got to hear the sound of his voice or look into his eyes. I never blamed her but she was always defensive when speaking of those days. Now I should be glad she left but I’m completely lost and an emotional wreck my health deteriorated and feel used up.

[@corrinequijano8570]

Cont what ur doing gurl!! Ur GREAT!! When I feel like I'm getting weak , I listen to you lol..Thanks

[@diannegowans1806]

Thank you for this message today! God bless you ❤️

[@jillkeeton4059]

Amazing...I was married to a Christian narc for 33 years and you hit the nail on the head.He had 95% of the behaviors you mentioned.

[@paulohlsson27]

Hi Jill, how's your day going with you?

[@ChillingWithMel22]

Great video this is my soon to be ex-husband 100% almost everything I wish I would have known about this years ago!!

[@christeltillman657]

OMG JEN!!!! Gurl!!! Truth!!!! 💯

[@paigeykins1]

Excellent job of organizing and consolidating helpful and important information about this topic. It always seems that when I think there isn’t much more insight I can gain, I realize I am wrong and still have so much to learn. I 100% agree and back you up on what you say here. I’ve never spent more time on anything in my life other than understanding the narc in order to protect myself and my son from him and healing from this traumatic experience/nightmare (especially throughout the high-conflict divorce process) but everyday I come across either validating or new information. Luckily, persistence and a thirst for justice has enabled me to continue educating myself, which has benefited me during divorce court and custody process feedings, so far at least. 🤞 Again- thank you for taking the time to promote necessary info to educate survivors. 👌💕

[@ambersiddiqui9894]

Thanku loved it,God bless you! I hve ben in this...and I couldn't figure all this out my husband is doing all this im going throught soon to be divorce..

[@JenGrice]

You're welcome!

[@lindayeager3126]

Yes, all narcissists act the same 4 ways, I've been with mine for 53yrs, if we only had these videos when we were young , there seems to be so many more of these type of demons ,they seem to slow down in there 70s ,if you want to waste all your time and life!

[@JenGrice]

Exactly! If you're going to stay with a narcissist, make sure you're not looking for any empathy or love from him/her. If you need love to survive... it's time to separate. I wish there were more videos and information on narcissist 20 years ago too!! But hoping we can teach the next generation!

[@trayalwalker9288]

Ive stayed with mine 40 years. If I stay forever, that I cannot say.

[@paulohlsson27]

Hi Linda, how's your day going with you?

[@Rabswood296]

He is now in his 80's and has turned into a demon. Age has made him feel powerless, he doesn't get the attention and is not made to feel important anymore now he has initiated a divorce but he feels entitled and does not want to share 50/50

[@8888-9]

Thank you for posting this video most of the traits described ring true in my own experience. except for the keeping up of appearances, nice house etc. new wife. what is not mentioned are the difficulties for some of us, who share access of child/ren with ex husband, narcissist. It was not easy to heal, for me, as I had to meet him at the local police station, and often received threatening notes in my childs overnight bag, afterwards. This went on for many years. He has ended up a bitter lonely man. I still try to make some sense of the whole experience.

[@JenGrice]

I do mention some of that (no contact, being safe) in other videos. Thanks for watching!

[@Random-mom]

My narc ex was super strict and aggressive and I was super lenient. He tried to say I was unstable and abusive

[@abeasti]

Thank you for making this video! I needed this, and every word.

[@JenGrice]

You’re welcome!!

[@mq3177]

Haha at the 12:00 mark you just described my soon to be exnarc husband. Already dating his supplies and divorce is not finalized yet😕

[@rosalynfejes4959]

Very insightful. Thank you ❣️

[@seharris11]

Mine beat his own face while I was on the phone with 911 lol (after he assaulted me), then he got an ex parte order using those b.s. injuries to get 50% custody. Thank God I found a "before" image he stupidly took and tried to delete - the judge offered me primary custody without even hearing the case. Now he's trying to ruin everything in my life from all angles (lost my CPA, he's filling other Motions, abandoned my build he was the GC for, stole $10k from me, etc.) but I'm going to fight for years if needed to protect my son. My son can't stand him yet my ex is trying to claim "parental alienation" despite years of evidence of their strained relationship and his abuse. I can't wait until the divorce is finalized lol!!

[@user-ng8zf6wy7q]

Im so sorry. And wow, he took it to a whole other level hitting himself, 😆. Not laughing at the situation, but at him. May God protect you and show you justice has been served 🙏 🙏 🙏

[@lorityndall5783]

Jen, Thank you so much for your informative video

[@Jujulocs88]

Everything you listed I have endured. Everything. Another thing they do is try to drag out the process. Smh.

[@ThePriam3]

It’s literally like a playbook... and it is scary!!!

[@bonniestevens9983]

I have in a narrccissst marriage for 40years im tring to get the strength to move out then divorce him he just picks at my all the time and his mother is just as bad

[@tn41249]

My soon to be ex hen pecked me daily too. Twenty years with that sack of crap. Even told me I was stupid. You have to divorce him. I'm looking forward to my new life without him. It will be a long haul but try to have faith. I will support you and you me.

[@gardnerhappy2114]

You can do it. My husbands mom and brother are the same way. It was a nightmare but it gets better after your away from them.

[@crazymakerpleasestop]

Bonnie, be so careful. I was there for 30 years. Do NOT tell him your plans. It can get violent. I was afraid because his raging became more violent. Make it a clean break and don't tell him anything. Go "gray rock".

[@lucydaisyandme]

Run Bonnie Run!! Heal yourself and love yourself!

[@shelbyroselaganelli]

This is exactly like my dad. Only difference is that my dad was the disciplinary growing up and he used to let out his rage on my brother and I so we were hit.

[@katharinebrady5577]

Jen you are so right. My ex even teased out from my daughter where I wanted to take her for her spring break, then he took her during winter break :( Instead of not returning my daughter at the right time of day, he has actually booked her flights during my custodial time and I had to get my lawyer to intervene!! I hope it ends when she turns 18 but I just don't know...

[@JenGrice]

Yeah, Katharine, I know it does get TONS easier when they turn 18. Once she is an adult, you just have to let her make her own decisions and make her own mistakes. I can tell you from experience it's not always easy to let go of that but finding your own peace away from that emotional unhealthiness is so worth it. Hang in there! Walking with you.

[@marjoriemurphy9424]

Katharine Brady he is using her to hurt you. stay strong.

[@fresias4me624]

Marjorie Murphy MMurphy Thanks to you and Jen for your support!!

[@biaj3429]

My ex play the same games with my 12 yr old. I am struggling helping him with the anxiety this has created.

[@Solaurae]

You much know my soon to be ex husband 😂😂 gaslighting Narc. I can’t wait to get away from this clown.

[@ajumaattah5322]

Thanks for sharing this information. I will like to be mentored. I am still in the healing phase after being married to a narcissist for 8yrs.