How ADHD Ruins Relationships

... and what to do to prevent it.
ADHD and communication difficulties:
www.addrc.org/effects-adhd-co...
ADHD and breakups:
www.healthline.com/health/adh...
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My mental health site ► butthethingis.com
Twitter ► / abcsofadhd
Tumblr ► / abcsofadhd
To support me ► / abcsofadhd
► ko-fi.com/abcsofadhd
"Carefree"
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
creativecommons.org/licenses/...

[@ABCsofADHD]

Ooh, this video was particularly hard to write/ make. Preemptive apology for slipped pronouns, I didn't even notice until I was uploading it. Also trying out putting in a little humor while editing.

[@miriamfrances2721]

Thank you very much. Here is a perspective of a woman who was with a man with ADHD. I think the key is that the person who has ADHD in the relationship needs to want things to be better, at least in my case. My 10 year relationship just recently ended because he just didn't want to make things better. I couldn't handle it anymore, and I think I tried my best to be understanding and compassionate, but I reached my limit I guess. It's such a shame because the love was there, but I couldn't live with that child/parent dynamic anymore, doing all of the housework and pet care, driving, shopping, cooking, budgeting, home and lawn maintenance...all on my own, constantly being disappointed, broken promises, holidays ruined because of misunderstandings then days of silence; and picking up the slack financially when he kept losing his jobs. It's not that he didn't know he had ADHD, it's just he was convinced nothing would fix it and that's how he'd be the rest of his life. He didn't reveal he had ADHD until a year into our relationship. I would never have known but he was putting up a front to hide it. For the next 9 years, I researched ADHD to see how I could help - I even went to a therapist when things got bad so I could get advice on how to live with him and deal with him better because I just didn't want to end the relationship. But in the end, he refused personal and couples counselling so I had to walk away. And the worst part is that he knew that if he didn't start to try to help himself, at least with a few baby steps, that it would end things, yet, he seemed not to care. I'm very sad about that to be honest. And you're right, many nights I feel asleep crying, feeling unloved, uncared for and frankly unsafe with him. At the end, everything I said was taken as an offence and I thought I was going crazy. I feel a sort of sad relief now that I'm free. Thanks for letting me talk about this, it's still very raw!!

[@aishadavis9412]

Omg this is EXACTLY how I feel right now. For me it's been on and off for 7 years and he doesn't take his ADHD as seriously as he should. He is afraid that people will see that as WHO he is instead of a small PART of who he is.....but it actually isn't showing up as a small part. It has spread into every part of his (and my) life! I find it really sad that most advice caters to the individual with the condition while the spouse or partner is just told to "be patient" i.e just deal with it. Sure its possible ....but nobody talks about how much you break yourself down in the process. I can't be the rock anymore...I need someone to be mine at this point cuz I'm emotionally exhausted.

[@keilahtx]

This comment section made me feel validated.

[@sarahrobertson634]

@@aishadavis9412 Yup, I feel the same. I'm kicking my five-year burden to the curb as we speak. His ADHD is impossible to deal with, and I'm exhausted. He won't get help for it, so I'm out.

[@jeannde2]

Oh my god I relate so much. A couple of weeks ago I told my boyfriend after 4 years of relationship (living together for 3 years) that if things don't finally change I'd have to leave. And he basically was like "okay" and that was it. We broke up. He than was so excited about the new possibilities, quit his job (which he was obsessing/hyperfocusing about for years, working up to 90hrs a week, neglecting every other part of his/our life), will soon move back to his hometown, is suddenly out partying a lot and already kind of dating (insanely hurt by this)?!? He moved on in a second, didn't think about it twice. He doesn't even understand that I'm heartbroken... There's so much dopamine kicking in right now, I can't compete with that. Looking back I can see that our relationship already started to go slightly downhill after the first half year, when - again - the dopamine high ended and it wasn't important enough to make an effort. Reading the above one would think: I should be relieved that we're separated since he obviously doesn't care about me at all. But actually that's not true. Like, he would always tell me how happy he is that we found each other, he brought up marriage not long before the breakup. And he says he still deeply cares for me on a friendship level. It's all so confusing. I'll have to accept that we probably never would've gotten back to a healthy balanced state. But despite all that my love for him still seems endless.

[@PillowStuffin]

Thank you for your perspective. I'm 29 and only recently found out I have adhd this last September. It explains a lot about my life, and I feel like it's ruined many relationships I've had, both romantic and platonic. I know it doesn't mean much coming from a total stranger on the internet. But I want it to get better, and I'm tired of how things are. I'm going to take the steps I need to not be a detriment to people I'm close to anymore. I don't want to be like your ex.

[@sean-michaelgopaul8388]

I want to say ADHD and proud...but sometimes I just wanna be normal, so my relationship can be okay again

[@rayge]

okay again? you had a relationship PRE ADD? I don't know what normal is.. I was diagnosed at 6.

[@ii_cxrrupt]

My partner has ADHD ..it's bloody hard work let me tell you . I cry alot . Feel so unappreciated

[@bzmzlznsz1000]

@@ii_cxrrupt is he treated

[@mohamedramzan7329]

I felt thisss

[@sean-michaelgopaul8388]

@@rayge no no, it's just in the first couple months, the "cupcake" phase hid all my symptoms from my girlfriend, but after that it started to fall

[@SeaSands88]

Exactly what happened to me but I couldn’t take his inability to focus on the relationship and often felt I was a non priority so I had to break it off . We both deserve to be happy and being a woman that needs quality communication and attention ,an ADHD partner isn’t compatible for me.

[@tiffanyguzman4405]

Same, I left too. We can't fix them, it is better to leave for our own health.

[@SeaSands88]

Tiffany Guzman It’s not easy for sure 💗. Take care.

[@youreloved1453]

i had to leave as well, was so painful, he is sun in libra and moon in leo, i heard most Libra man has add, they love bombard you first and then they start getting bored quickly once they feel like they got you.

[@ShellyValeras]

But remember to atleast try to keep your friendship. Cause the ADHD partners that you left probably felt bad. We can't control it. But we try. And we tend to fall into a mindset of sever rejection when we are left. Show them they aren't a burden. Cause i assure you. We feel like it all the time

[@noneofyourbuizness]

@@tiffanyguzman4405 can you fix someone in a wheelchair? You not here to fix anybody

[@fredriccuthbertson]

I'm the husband of ADHD wife....18 yrs married and I'm suffering from anxiety and I've taken my ring off. I'm sooo exhausted and emotionally drained with responsibilities on the home and bills. I'm almost at wits end...I can't anymore. My wife really needs help with parenting, responsibility, home finances. I recently gave her 40k to help start her business. Business is great but I'm now responsible for discipline, home maintenance, bills and other stuff.,I don't know what to do at this point and fear losing everything Ive worked Soo hard for with renovations on the home by myself. I love my home and I love my wife/daughter but I just can't do this anymore

[@AngryPanda.]

Me a few years ago thinking my ex's were clingy and over-reacting then there's me now realising I was the problem. :/

[@ii_cxrrupt]

Yep ..my partner has ADHD ( male) I'm the non ADHD partner ( female ) it's hard work and he always says I'm the problem...I know he loves me but I'm hurt most of the time :(

[@AngelicallyAn]

@@ii_cxrrupt that’s not something a loving partner should tell their partner, ADHD or not. I’d leave

[@sarahemcoop]

“If you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best” ❤️ do your OWN self work, just going to therapy isn’t enough, I encourage you guys with ADD/ADHD to research yourself (as hard as it is) learn about yourself, take some notes so you won’t keep repeating the same mistakes friends! It is very hard, but it is definitely worth it! You may learn some things about yourself you didn’t realize. It’s very important that we don’t use our “learning disability” as an excuse to not get things done, and not accomplish the things we want to accomplish. It’s hard, but we can do it! ❤️

[@christinaknowles3338]

Amen to that! Great post. I have spent a lifetime learning about myself and it has improved my relationships. I take full responsibility for my diagnosis of ADD.

[@sarahemcoop]

@@christinaknowles3338 absolutely! That’s awesome! ❤️

[@knightimer2]

Proper knowledge and mindfulness can only go so far. We cannot cure ADHD through research and therapy. Your message has good intentions but people need to be realistic. We can't always do what everyone else can, and that's OK. It isn't "making excuses" to admit that even though people will tell us otherwise. The moment we tell people with disorders or disabilities that they can do what anyone else can and their condition isn't an excuse, you are putting them in an unfair position which can lead them to self-loathing, shame, and guilt for something that isn't their fault.

[@sarahrobertson634]

"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" is a great way for irresponsible people to push their responsibility for managing their disorder onto their neurotyoical partners. We don't "deserve" to have a crazy person ruin our lives.

[@JD-gm1wq]

No relationship is supposed to be 24 hour work. Being in a relationship with someone who has ADD or ADHD is exhausting. Life is waayyy too short to spend your day walking on broken glass trying to figure out why they are ignoring you, why they get super defense about a simple question, why they walk away mid sentence and the list goes on. Love doesn't look like that at all so first ask yourself if you want to sign up for this because this is WHO they are, you are not going to change them.

[@TheVanillaaaSky]

….

[@Mike-ce6vr]

🎤 drop

[@jamiesheahan8174]

Losers quit

[@mikewizoski7593]

I would not date ADD person again 7 years wasted and it was very traumatic and painful experience. In real situations of real emergencies my partner was simply incapable of any proper assistance. It was really too much. Although I can imagine he would be much happier if he also dated someone with add/adhd because they would understand each other struggles and conditions in a meaningful manner.

[@bzmzlznsz1000]

That’s fucking awful to say about someone with adhd asshole ableist

[@TheVanillaaaSky]

😢

[@superdupeninja8149]

Thanks for making this about you

[@lvpelt]

Cried for half an hour after seeing this video

[@yourfather2910]

lvpelt wimp

[@tiffanyguzman4405]

@@oliviajae298 leave, your health is so important. I had to make that heartbreaking decision to leave too but I feel better now that I'm out and hopeful for a new relationship with someone who doesn't get bored easily.

[@ShellyValeras]

@@tiffanyguzman4405 Why is everyone treating it like a releife when they leave?! Does NO ONE understand that the ADHD person already feels like shit cause of their ADHD and will only feel like MORE of a burden when left because of it?!

[@tiffanyguzman4405]

@@ShellyValeras not when he is cheating and blames it on adhd

[@ShellyValeras]

@@tiffanyguzman4405 thats not ADHD thats just him being a cheating bastard and making us ADHD people look bad

[@dawnp9805]

😮 This was one of the best videos on the problems in ADD relationships.

[@ABCsofADHD]

Check out my latest video.. its on relationships and you might find it more useful.

[@yuzosebdoom-pl5yj]

​@@ABCsofADHD This is very unusual 🤯. Yes some what is true, & yet again can be true. But not everything is true that you hear. I know because I have. ADHD Autism & Difficulty in Hard settings, in understanding. And I think I'm a pretty nice person, most nice guys finish up last anyway I'm a drummer can draw on PC with a mouse pad & beat games, stich clothes with needle 🧵 & thread,play soccer ⚽ dancing to music. But people in general take advantage of people with a disability my own teachers at school recommended that I'll never have a future and I have tried the dating a few times it was hard because I would be too honest that I can't provide for u the girl was scared when big♌🦁 sister came along the girl felt very uncomfortable, but in all general a lot of people mistaken people for having a sicknesses or metal illness my brother has OCD and a lot of people don't get along with him but he tries to and he puts his sickness first 🥇. It's not only this sickness but I knew a friend that had ♍Schizophrenia🥷🏼 and Bipolar♌🦁. & The bipolar friend used to swear a lot. at me🤷🏿‍♂️. I just walked away from him & gave him a cold stone 🪨 shoulder, I said that's fine by me😂❤, and seeing that my dad♓🐟 well he gives Silent Treatment is good 👍🏿😊 for people in a relationship 😄. that's another thing that can be bad too because most silent treatment is treated as Narcissist🤘🏿👩...

[@yuzosebdoom-pl5yj]

I usually get told that I'm Intimidating when I go to open🎤🎙️mic. I think people just don't understand, my sickness that could be people make life out like the game of chess ♟️. I'm not really sure i just go with the Flo I'm a ♓🐟+♒person🤘🏿😄...

[@WakaSantana]

For the folks with ADHD, trust me, there is a partner out there for you. If you look at some of the negative language used in these comments, you can see that ADHD is still not given the same care as other conditions physical or mental. On the outside, ADHDers appear “normal”There is a responsibility that you have with ADHD, however, there are partners out there that are for you, and will help you and be a positive in your life that motivates you. If you’re in a relationship with someone who uses language like you’re like taking care of a child, I am telling you now, this relationship will not improve and you will continue to feel bad about yourself. This person only cares about how they feel. get space to get your mind right through therapy, medication, fitness or whatever you feel is necessary but get that help etc etc. the right partner who understands you is out there for you. Don’t be a slave to someone else’s happiness only. Because you with ADHD, will never be happy in that situation

[@massonionAmonday]

Thank you feeling a little low today and this was a good read my friend, needed that

[@salomeyul]

Many of us on the other side end up forced to only care about how we feel after repeatedly trying to be there for the ADHD partner. It is as if they push you to the limit until you have no more left to give, and then they turn you into the bad guy while completely ignoring the cost of dealing with their condition. We end up focusing on ourselves and hoy miserable we feel because we need to survive. Mental conditions are context, not an excuse for bad behavior and neglecting the person you claim to love. I understood my partner, I simply got tired of a one-sided relationship where he was not even able to communicate his needs and instead, he would explode or become distant without even saying a word before. Maybe because he couldn't, who knows, the thing is that everyone has their limitations, not just ADHDrs

[@ShellyValeras]

I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid but wasn't told anything about it. Learning now, from your video, that my inability to focus, my lapse in intrest, and my difficulties in my relationship are caused by it kinda made me cry. I went through so much just to find out it's something i can't fix. I only hope my SO can find the patience to deal with me longer. We've been together for 2 years and I'm so happy he's stayed with me.

[@Terenablakely]

Just broke up a relationship with a adhd guy . I was lonely he never made plans incluing me or never had time to myself i tried help understand and support him, cause I really like and wanted to build a solid relationship with him,but even the communication wasn’t going well at the point but he didn’t make effort to try always full of excuses hidden from face situations and I felt he wasn’t at any point honest to me . Even the fact of know he was adhd i had i real talk and asked because was too much obvious not because he had told me. So i have broken communication but don’t think at all he will try to talk to me again. He broke up trough whatsapp msg he even called me to not face me . Even he is 35 years old i felt in a relationship with a teenager boy.

[@valeriemalone2729]

Same. There was no communication, he would go days, weeks sometimes months...I always gave him the benefit of the doubt as he had personal problems, very serious in his family and he needed space at times. But it has been so difficult not knowing what is going on with him or why he hasn't made time to see me how he can say I love you then disappear. I do trust him and I'm always there for him but he hasn't been there for me, it's like he can't ever focus or show any emotion without getting overwhelmed. his own feelings scare him. Most the time we would fight it would be via social media. He would try to end it or insult me then the next act like nothing really happened... He is in his early 40s and yes it feels like I'm dating a teenager or worse I feel like I'm mothering him. It's so much work.

[@Terenablakely]

Sarah Cherry well apparently we didn’t break up he just started acting as nothing had happened so it’s complicated is the way they worked cause you can see so many estories alike in both sides. Is hard be this side but is hard for them as well. So we need to know if we can or not make it happen no forcing and understanding and learning each other. Is hard I know how you feel . Best of luck!

[@joeroberts2156]

Well I'm not like that, I give it my all in relationships.

[@1dayumayy]

@@valeriemalone2729 i have adhd too, we need time, patience

[@FDJUwe]

Bigot. I hope you become a more empathic person in the future and don't project your expectations on people, specially neuro-atypical people.

[@nathanmb2j]

You just told the story of my last relationship!

[@justinharrott6852]

So I got here by trying to see if anyone is talking about ADD and monogamy. As someone in my late 30s, I'm finding it harder and harder to imagine myself "settling down" rather than having a few close friends that I spend abundant and intimate time with, but how is one to have a family like that!?!

[@FFT77FFT77]

Story of my life man .. great video!

[@oliviajae298]

Great video!!! It has been a hell to say the least.

[@moya-gayehamilton1132]

This is what caused a bad break-up between my bf and I. And the worse part is I still love him. Thnx soooo much 4 ur vid! Very informative!

[@FDJUwe]

My ex girlfriend left me because she thought I was a lazy irresponsible guy. 27 years of my life with undiagnosed adhd, harassed by people left and right, labeled as a "slacker". Finally I went to a PROPER psychologist (one that didn't say the same thing as everyone, like "lazy" "not motivated"), then a neurologist, and now I'm under treatment and I have more knowledge about myself, and that's liberating. Too bad so many people judged me for something that I didn't have control. Including someone that "loved" me.

[@sarahrobertson634]

You can't blame them. ADHDers are impossible to deal with.

[@swissarmyknight4306]

@@sarahrobertson634 You could have been anyone, yet you chose to be this. Gross.

[@tiantian6956]

Stigmatizing? ​@@sarahrobertson634

[@rubieaxz1317]

Exactly what I’m feeling for two years and now we have huge argument again.. same issues all over again. he always sau sorry but then repeating the same mistakes and telling me same things like “Well I was just...Why am I the bad person now?” It sucks. I love him but I am not sure if how long can I stand this because he just doesn’t listen to me..

[@seeds4life999]

Its because your thought process is different to ours id really love for you to be me for five minutes it would break you im telling you now, get some understanding

[@ShellyValeras]

Yes please. People who live with ADHD have it bad. It's not a normal disability and gets overlooked way too often. People like us who live with this often feel like a burden. If they did something and realised they'd done it before they feel like shit cause they shoulda remembered but didn't. We feel like burdens and we can't help it.some people can't even rely on the ADHD medication as for those few people it simply makes them practically dead. They go through the day to day motions but arent fully there on it. I should know. It's how i was.

[@Ghost-vg6iq]

@@ShellyValeras well it has a lot to do with patience also, we are quite impulsive but that doesn't mean we don't calm down

[@ShellyValeras]

@@Ghost-vg6iq oh we can be calm. But we also have moments of depression. Random sometimes and hard to pinpoint. This is another thing I've heard people get dumped for.

[@-bruno-6261]

i become very obsessive with other person all the time and it’s really damaging to my mental health and theirs and it sucks

[@scribadibdib]

Me too!

[@damnshitashley]

its funny cuz the guy I was dating was the one who insisted I had ADHD before I was diagnosed with it, but even still it was hard for him to deal with the symptoms that come with it. We really fell into the parent-child relationship and once that happens, its very hard to recover and be seen as an equal again. couples counseling would be lit but aint nobody got money for that lmao

[@ABCsofADHD]

IKR. 100% on the fact that its difficult to go back if you fully fall into parent-child dynamic thing. This was such a depressing video to research/ edit. Realizing that all of the pitfalls I fell into myself were textbook ADHD symptoms. Ughhh.

[@damnshitashley]

I have a tendency to not care what most people think of me except the person I am dating, in a very extreme sense. Probably in an effort to try to keep my emotions in check because I am naturally a very empathetic person and the ADD probably amplifies how much I care, and if I cared what everyone said, it would be too stressful. But then I am extreeemely sensitive to anything my boyfriend does that I can remotely perceive as a rejection. I'm extremely oversensitive and my feelings in the relationship are always intensely up and down. Does this sound anything like RSD & emotional dysregulation to you or just a non ADHD-related personality flaw?

[@ABCsofADHD]

I'm going to say the former cause you've also described me to a tee. RSD is much worse when it involves someone you care about.

[@damnshitashley]

does your therapist acknowledge RSD and emotional dysregulation as real things that come with ADHD?

[@ABCsofADHD]

I never really talked about my ADHD to my counselor. He just helped me deal with the symptoms directly. Cause it doesn't matter if they believe that RSD is a thing or not. If you explain the emotional dysregulation problems you are having, they can help you get to control it directly.

[@topshelfmike]

Thing is… cutting off the non adhd partner from “naggin” only makes things worse. In my experience once I realized I wasn’t allowed to talk about how I felt and just “love her for her” I realized I wasn’t even a factor.

[@bzmzlznsz1000]

Fucking ableist you wanted her to changer her brain wiring

[@Jorg-ug3ie]

Thank you so much, very helpful info! And for making me discover (through your comments in the thread ) the fact that RSD is often part of AD(h)D!

[@beautyking9376]

ADHD is not a death knell for relationships. What is a death knell is complete indifference and no effort manage symptoms and meet your spouse halfway.

[@sarahrobertson634]

It is a death knell.

[@tiantian6956]

​@@sarahrobertson634 well then try to date a narcissist or at least a bpd or avoidant

[@capri468]

😫 why must life keep throwing banana peels on my path. So hard

[@kristinat8298]

You have exactly described my relationship. I gave up on the relationship because he has a drinking and drug problem that he's not willing to fix

[@LiSa-fc5sp]

It all caused me to isolate..at this point I feel this is all just too much for me to

[@drewstafford8506]

This is happening right now in my relationship!

[@seeds4life999]

Same i feel like i cant do anything i explain i find it hard it gets ignored

[@codyeasonBGR]

I think you should try and speak your mind because eventually you wish you said it. Ask your self what are you scared of saying if she leaves you you will never have said what was really scaring you

[@e.g.1651]

Like me. Hope it gets well for both of us. Waiting for the medication to help .

[@Proverbs-xo9vi]

I been thru it...but also he was rude to me...told everyone l was crazy..cheated constantly...would ignore me for weeks even months at a time. I tried but he wasn't really willing to. I finally left

[@briananellis]

i was confused but now it makes sense

[@darkstrifequeen1458]

I decided to come out to my potential partner that I struggle with adhd, and I asked him (he’s probably neurotypical) to be patient with me and that I have a therapist to help me tame my symptoms and that I do cherish the relationship I have with him.

[@Meglotruck]

That’s exactly what happened with my last relationship and I want to try again so badly with them

[@iamnoone483]

Many solid true points there. Keep up the videos.

[@Snipez8]

I’m someone who doesn’t know if i have ADHD/ADD or not. somethings i notice about myself but can’t control or it’s really hard to control is i get frustrated really easy & stressed, my mood can be fine but then switch up to where i feel like doing nothing in a second. i’ve watched some videos about symptoms of ADHD/ADD & can relate to pretty much everything. I’m currently in a 1 year relationship, longest i’ve been in. It was fine in the beginning but now i feel myself basically giving up or not trying. i don’t understand why since i know she’s the one & she’s definitely someone i don’t want to loose because i know i actually do love her. i basically have to force & try so hard to make sure i give no attitude or anything like that because she doesn’t deserve to be treated that way... but my head is all over the place at times & i can’t seem to stop it nor control it

[@keeganandersson4281]

Angel Estrada Amen brotha

[@alexvirago9072]

I unfortunately relate to this..so much. I am getting better though!

[@tamaragenar2636]

Where doeing therapie..koppels counseling ..gonna take a test he has to..im myself im sick its difficult

[@scribadibdib]

I’ve adhd but I feel like it’s my friends who get bored. I’ve one big interest I love to do with my friends but it’s usually them that break it off first or slow down what’s that mean?

[@Luzgoishzre]

They are just not interested

[@michellewhitford6322]

Thank u explain much better with the adhd

[@rebeccakalli9630]

We both have ADHD and it works so well because I’m more inattentive he is more hyperfocus and we’re both hyperactive, over a year together and it’s been a breeze!!!

[@godschild4842]

Interesting. I was wondering if two ADHD people were workable🤔.

[@noneofyourbuizness]

@@godschild4842 it does

[@sarahrobertson634]

How do the bills get paid? Who parents the two of you?

[@sarahrobertson634]

@@Lee-sh7if Date each other. But use birth control.

[@rakshitbhoj9987]

I am feeling a lot ghosted my significant other is adhd she isn't even checking my stories and ya I have come to know about area it now and I am trying to educate myself but I am completely ghosted so she is going through some problems also I asked her if I could help her with something I try to motivate her and just ask what the problem was to work towards it but she said that she doesn't like helps because it's just increases the problem so what should I do can anyone help me with similar experience and when I told her that our communication is broken ask me if I wanted to break up or not and a long distance relationship

[@bzmzlznsz1000]

@@lonevvolfbatallion4684 is she treated

[@rakshitbhoj9987]

@@lonevvolfbatallion4684 its true almost no scope , we broke up soon after that

[@AAustinn9]

thank you

[@boynton20]

My best friend as adhd I get extremely frustrated with him . Dont they know they have this issue

[@jazlynlo9207]

Damn as a women with adhd i feel like everyone is different when it comes to relationships. I like my me time but when im with someone, im all about them. I always want to spend time with them and do extra gestures for them. And reading these comments make me feel bad that y’all have had bad experience with someone who has adhd. And i see that they’re mostly men which makes me curious on how the pattern for women with adhd are in relationships. The only time i get bored in the relationship is when the other person is making me feel unloved or isnt putting effort. But i guess everyone is different since most of the comments are experiencing feeling unloved by someone with adhd

[@austinnguyen9107]

My girlfriend has ADHD and the same problems are there too. So it exists in women too. The symptoms like distraction which lead to me feeling unloved and broken promises

[@marcellusrobinson1465]

@@austinnguyen9107i second this

[@frankly5171]

Only solution is to get the heck out of the relationship with an ADHD. No reason to walk on egg shells and go through all the frustration for the rest of your life.

[@shelleycharlesworth5177]

I think my 63 yr old partner has ADHD. If ONE thing goes wrong then everything is AWFUL. This is so exhausting. He is an expert at noticing what is WRONG. One wrong event will set off a tirade of complaints - about things that happened years ago! He is always a victim....this is how he sees himself and it sucks for me to see him like this. Ugh. So one you tube video I watched said I have to "allow" him to "just be”..and not react. Ok but he goes on and on and on and ON…talks too much and Will not stop-even if I say : “STOP I am flooded and overwhelmed!” I have left the house many times just to get AWAY from him and get some peace..and this helps me calm down but if it's dark outside then I will NOT leave and so I have to endure this negativity which is depressing and horrible for ME I'm getting worn out .....agh……..he procrastinates, loses things, forgets thing, has time blindness, has anxiety, over talks and interrupts, gets distracted.

[@ruthe6017]

This was one of the ways that I messed up with a great ex partner, she was such a good egg. She is still a wonderful person

[@Scallopway]

We both adhd. Compromise is a hard thing.

[@h_eerlijkemama5812]

What is he has ADD en she had ADHD. She is doing 8 years of begging hem to see her en to talk about things before it's to late. Because I don't want our family to fail with our children but there is still no change

[@tamaragenar2636]

Yes where doing that ..therapie it helps thanks...

[@damianloder6080]

One thing I think you may have left out. PORNOGRAPHY! Low dopamine>pornography>addiction>unable to live in the real world/this could even include erectile disfunction

[@madzg6481]

This is real, I can see this to my partner.

[@sakurakentasha1851]

He kind of ignores my messages and only replies to what’s necessary about him.

[@madzg6481]

This is true, they do that.

[@huhheijaah]

My adhd partner is dry texter and can go weeks and weeks without missing me if we dont see each other (out of sight, out of mind). Never plans our dates and i think that she is so used to that i plan all and im always first to ask should we meet up and thats SUPER annoying. When we see each other everything is super fine and happy. Many times i have talked how i feel and she have trouble telling how she feels sometimes, but she agreed and agreeing everything i say. I know she is trying her best, but i know i am overthinker myself and i think that she is too... Sometimes feels that she is playing mindgames or that my trust for her is lacking, but once again when we meet everything seems normal. Haven't seen her now for around 3 weeks and we have talked only few words via txt messages (she is the one who has 1st texted) and actually also called me for first time, it was a positive "shock" for me. I know she is thinking about me. I Just wanna show her that she needs to do something and i dont want to be ALWAYS that person who plans all...

[@manuamorim1464]

It's awesome you try to understand your partner, but please don't hurt yourself. Try to be open and ask her if she is ok with more interaction, if she wants to be with You, she will try harder. Some people really can't text daily, but weeks without a properly convo isn't healthy for you and your feelings.

[@B3arAbl3]

Oh, of course, ADHD makes relationships a breeze! Who doesn't love constant surprises and miscommunications? It's like a romantic comedy, but without the romance! 😅

[@paulie.walnuts2838]

100% true. I have split with my ex for 3 years. I have to Bury my ex with my 10 year old son today. I can't help but feel I'm responsible

[@user-jw2bs1tj2k]

There are supplements that help such as lions mane. Working out and exercise helps a ton with managing adhd. Been doing it for years. I encourage anyone with adhd to believe in yourself, love yourself and others and trust the process even if it hurts. You do get stronger and learn more with time. Best of luck and don’t give in to the self doubt!!

[@michellewhitford6322]

It's bad enough a person with adhd likes to sure manipulate dont help constantly take off Never spend time with you dont tell you the truth always lie to you how can you ever trust an adhd partner its best to some how leave the relationship and find somewhere to go where it's safe until there stuff is packed and you can move on with your life and be happy

[@nuggetinevitable4971]

Wow what a rude comment i have adhd and am none of those things don't stereotype

[@r2dancefitness989]

You are talking about narcissist. Narcissist and adhd are different personalities. Adhd personality have empathy.

[@JEFFMAN90]

Women like you are the reason why men with adhd should not be in relationships non adhd women.

[@hii1841]

I'm not goint to have kids cause I have suffered bc of my irresponsible adhd dad who had divorced couple of times. His money has been all taken to my stepmoms. Even worse the current wife of him keeps convincing me to give her money cause my dad is sick and broke. All those black mails and gaslighting make sick.

[@elijahsvrbinge7166]

Haveng had a relationship since my freshman year in high school now I'm 18 and I just give up with relationships all together, also I have no socail life XD I hate having ADHD

[@cremefraiche9095]

That story is literally my story :(

[@ABCsofADHD]

Yea, its quite common with ADHD :/

[@ShellyValeras]

It's worse when the SO leaves and their only reason is they can't handle the ADHD.

[@stevenrobinson1597]

Relationships arnt for everyone ?

[@dearjem]

I hyperfocused on him so much and ignored red flags I drove him away 😂😂😂😂😭

[@penpen6020]

ME TOO!!!! I do it every single time and didn’t realize it’s due to my ADHD until I saw this video😩😂😂😩

[@DanielKayumba-dp9zy]

these comments just confirmed I’m screwed

[@tamaragenar2636]

My partner is in dienail..i send him this one...thanks

[@anothenymously7054]

If she showed she wanted me to stay, i'd stay.

[@peanutbuttahh2728]

omg this is exactly what happend to me and my boyfriend - well ex actually. he has adhd. still "recovering" from the break up but honestly it's ok :')

[@XCHDragox115]

Okay so here we go… We both have ADHD

[@rayge]

Me having ADHD ruins relationships

[@HappyCrackers]

Or you could run away an go on adventures and have a different partner in every state. Use protection.

[@jamiesheahan8174]

Weak minds run away from problems

[@daysofthunder6110]

Well for me it ruins the chance to get into one so I can't really ruin one.

[@ericacole8411]

Awww, that's sad. Hope things get better for you.

[@daysofthunder6110]

@@ericacole8411 Lmao thanks. Sidenote how far did you have to scroll to find a zero like 2 year old comment? NVM this video has lots less comments than I thought

[@shubhamlasure5441]

My ADHD has ruined my life

[@marleydog-6913]

My girlfirend broke up with me today because I have ahd

[@ladyoftheveil8342]

we both ADHD

[@keepitsimplestupid3012]

I was thinking about finding an adhd woman but I'm not sure if that is a good idea. How is it working out for you?

[@baldersn4474]

I got ADHD and my relationships are nothing like this lol .

[@arielle7557]

men get bored period so if you have a partner thats a male and hes adhd wel good luck with that. double dose of challenge

[@niketuck9687]

Maybe I’m destined to never be married :(

[@seeds4life999]

I make the same mistakes every single time im statting to give up i think my gf wants to break up, this video soubds like me to a tee and there is absolutely nothing incan do what so ever 🤕

[@ericacole8411]

Why isn't there anything you can do?

[@jensbasement3862]

Its not anyone's job to fix these people

[@Darkrising420]

Jen's Basement There is nothing to fix. We are not broken just different.....

[@kittydigs6469]

No thanks. I will never date one again. It was a horriable exprence.

[@lifeofdav6881]

Really?! Are we that bad :/

[@sarahemcoop]

@lifeofdav another one bites the dust oh well! 😅

[@ShellyValeras]

Wow. Kinda rude dude

[@MuhammadHussain-ry9vh]

Your spelling was a horrible experience for them

[@Moana_moo]

I truly find it extremely weird that when u have a bad experience with a neurotypical person ppl never say”I’ll never date a NT again” but when u have a bad experience with a neurodivergent person then all ppl with that condition are bad ppl. I have adhd and so does a very good friend of mine and he always got into trouble for getting into fights and for being too impulsive while i usually got into trouble for being extremely messy and disorganized and sometimes a bit dreamy. He was always failing classes while i was a top student he’s really into sports and active while i’m more artistic. We humans we different

[@AloneInTheVoid]

Yup…. I’d leave the ADHD person also.. No reason on keeping a dying and impossible relationship going. The ADHD person needs help and the Neurotypical person needs to move on with his/her life. Sad….. but that’s the only realistic option. This is coming from a person who’s been married to an untreated ADHA spouse for 30 years. Cut your losses, cry like hell….. and move on.

[@ii_cxrrupt]

Oh wow ..this is so sad :( been with my ADHD partner for almost 2 years and it's hard work . I hate it. They aren't medicated or anything and just blame me for everything 🙄

[@DedHedZed]

toooooooooo late

[@sanandgupta4520]

🛑🛑🛑 the worst part of this video is i have seen more than 70% but u hv not explained the Full form of ADHD.

[@meghansullivan6812]

Yikes 😭

[@ArtomixCraft]

You look both 18 and 40

[@Yurusan717]

Facial and nonverbal……ah tfw you also have aspergers and can't pick those up welp