How can you be gay and not know? A coming out story 🏳️‍🌈

[@113nightbird]

Hi! I recently discovered that I am gay and have crushes on women. I am 49 years old. I was married to a man earlier in my life. When I figured this out I was shocked but also happy. Great video! :)

[@tonilou]

The "you can't know how other people feel/think" is such a big thing cause it enables you to lie to yourself without realizing. For me too, I struggle with my identity cause what does gender feel like to other people? What does being a woman feel like? What does attraction feel like? Do people want to kiss strangers? What do people like about sex?

[@electronics-girl]

Gender is pretty much a matter of dysphoria and euphoria. When people are divided into male and female groups, are you happy being put in the group of your assigned gender? Or do you wish you were in the other group? (Or maybe you feel you don't belong in either group? i. e. nonbinary) When I was a kid, I wanted to be a Brownie instead of a Cub Scout. I always wanted to hang out with the girls instead of the boys. When I was a bit older, I fantasized about building a machine that would turn me into a woman. And I always liked movies where there was some sort of gender swap. If you've had thoughts and feelings like that, you're probably trans. If none of that has ever crossed your mind, you're probably cis. People like sex because it feels really good physically, and it's a great way to feel closer to someone you like and are attracted to. Sexual attraction is a really, really strong feeling that hits you over the head. If you're not sure if you've ever felt sexually attracted to anyone, then perhaps you haven't. I feel like if you felt sexually attracted to people, you would know. It's not a subtle feeling. Maybe watch some videos from asexual people and see if you identify with that? I know Jayden Animation has an asexual video, and Anthony Padilla has an episode where he interviews asexual people.

[@ellouisebadger849]

I also grew up thinking I was straight and then I thought I was bisexual and came out in 2021 and I just this year realised I'm a lesbian 🥰🌈

[@lamblyy]

Hey, God loves you all and Jesus died for you to be free from sin and death and to be made whole in Him. I was once bisexual and transgender for 5 years until God rescued me, healed me from depression, suicidal thoughts, and drugs and ive never been more free, full, and at peace than with Him. Turn to God because He loves you more than anyone else!! Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

[@elisavonpisamagkatze]

Same 😂

[@theawolf2478]

As someone with basically no experience in dating and intimacy at age 24 that still tries to figure out whether I'm attracted to men or this is just comphet, I feel so validated and seen by your video. One of the reasons I'm afraid to talk to anyone about this is my age, I just feel like I should have figured this out much sooner and to see someone with a similar experience is just so good

[@Crystal-el2qo]

Same here.

[@HolasoyMai]

Seeking a therapist could really help since you can literally talk to them about anything

[@lamblyy]

Hey, God loves you all and Jesus died for you to be free from sin and death and to be made whole in Him. I was once bisexual and transgender for 5 years until God rescued me, healed me from depression, suicidal thoughts, and drugs and ive never been more free, full, and at peace than with Him. Turn to God because He loves you more than anyone else!! Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

[@joonieluv5918]

Same. I feel so stressed by it and I can't talk about it to anyone irl

[@theawolf2478]

Sending all of you lots of love. You will figure this out eventually, take your time. You don't owe anyone anything. I started talking to one of my best friends and even though I was so afraid and I teared up several times it was such a relief for me. Since then I am now in my first real relationship with the most wonderful woman I can imagine and every new little coming out feels easier than the one before. I feel so much lighter and more myself

[@emaannnali]

This video resonated with me so hard. Especially the part about first kisses with men!!! Every time I’ve hung out with a boyfriend I dodged the first 5-6 attempts to kiss me and I essentially had to psych myself up to kiss them back lol

[@jayfelsberg1931]

I must say I found a lot in common with the host: 1. Like her, I'm a "late bloomer" in that I finally accepted myself as a gay man late in life. As long as I remember I had gay desires, but seldom acted on them (most were great and exciting). There were several times I was ready to come out to myself once and for all, but for various reason hesitated. 2. Once I came out to myself, it was such a huge relief, like chains falling off my shoulders. Now for the first time in my life I like who I am, and gave myself the freedom to enjoy who I want to. 3. Sara, you're so right - we don't owe them an explanation. Not to be ugly, but while I cherish those who accept me, the acceptance that matters is when WE accept who we are. Not whether they hate us or not, but of we love ourselves. Thank you

[@CrystalMouse1]

I'm still happily married to my second husband and I my found out I'm lesbian. He lovingly agreed with me to have an open marriage and stay together. We're wonderful friends

[@bert7029]

"Wonderful friends" is kind of abstract. Is your husband equally happy and enthousiastic with this arrangement? Is it open on both sides, and this aspect also makes you happy? Do you consider it still "a marriage", or has it become something else? Just some thoughts.

[@lamblyy]

Hey, God loves you all and Jesus died for you to be free from sin and death and to be made whole in Him. I was once bisexual and transgender for 5 years until God rescued me, healed me from depression, suicidal thoughts, and drugs and ive never been more free, full, and at peace than with Him. Turn to God because He loves you more than anyone else!! Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

[@marymarthamacmillan6908]

​@@lamblyyI was once straight and never questioned my sexuality...and I continued to go to church every Sunday with my family. Guess what... I'm a lesbian...always have been...and always will be😜

[@lamblyy]

@@marymarthamacmillan6908 When you die, your sexuality wont matter. Sexuality is temporary but your relationship with God is what matters for eternity.

[@marymarthamacmillan6908]

@@lamblyy hate to disappoint but if God exists and he made me, he made me a lesbian 🤷🏾‍♀️and if He has a problem with me being who I am He has to do some self reflection.

[@toribacarii3350]

I remember being a huge tomboy, (grew up with 5 brothers). So i had a lot of guy friends. But whenever I was around pretty girls, id get SUPER nervous. But i would never acknowledge those feelings cause I thought being gay was wrong. So i never even thought of the fact that i might actually be attracted to girls.

[@johnrencheck2283]

The reason you were attracted to women is cause as a tomboy men didnt view u sexually attracted to u you were butch to them it was out of necessity u attracted to women

[@toribacarii3350]

@@johnrencheck2283 it's true i was a tomboy. But i wasnt a "hard" tom boy if that makes sense. I still dressed like a girl and I was very shy and quiet when first meeting ppl. But I liked playing sports with the guys and mostly hung out with dudes because i didnt really like girly things. Some guys liked me. And I liked some guys. But I just always felt nervous around pretty girls. Especially the nice ones. Similar to when talking to cute boys. But i was apart of a christian family at that time and felt like being gay was wrong. I was too scared to even question it. So I ignored it. Until i got older and finally accepted that im into girls too.

[@CommonGroundTravels]

You are STUNNING. Currently going through seemingly this exact journey. Thanks for the advice and insight 🤗

[@olliestale864]

SAME, i’m from a religious muslim and found out im a lesbian

[@whitnielle]

Thank you for this video! Not sure how it ended up on my explore page but this was so validating, especially as a single mom. Thank you 🥰

[@jamielondon6436]

9:04 Alayna Joy would be so proud of you. :-)

[@thesweetestpotat0]

I appreciate this video and want to add a small clarification: there are a lot of people who worry -- like worry *a lot* -- that they're gay but are actually straight (or worry that they're actually straight even though they're gay). It's called Sexual Orientation OCD or Homosexual OCD. Obviously, I'm not suggesting that this has anything to do with your experience, but you mentioned that people don't worry about being a lesbian if they're not that. That's a common misconception! Same goes for gender identity.

[@Laura-vl6db]

Thank you.

[@Nolayer2055]

Thank you for posting this! I was watching this for an ERP exposure and thought this exact thing at this moment. Hopefully this comment is seen by anyone else that comes to this video that is experiencing SOOCD, totally get why people think the opposite though with how misunderstood OCD is

[@gymnasticsgirlie0647]

Yesssss SO-OCD and GI-OCD are valid! This is the second coming-out story video I've watched of people who said something along the lines of "if you're questioning you probably are". I know OCD is so misunderstood by the general public and it's not their fault for not knowing about it, but I would hate to think that people with those types of OCD might watch those videos and hear stuff like that.

[@dhiegov]

I love the tiktoks you sprinkle around the video lol, seems like a great way to transition onto a different topic.

[@dhiegov]

also I was the 666th like heheh, nice

[@sarahmccoy1941]

Your hair looks so cute!

[@heyheyitsvey]

Thank you for sharing, I'm also a late realized wlw around your age, definitely with a preference for women. There are lots of people in the world pressured into heteronormative lifestyles and I'm sorry to hear that you ended up in that but grateful to hear that you understand yourself much better now

[@folkeholtz6351]

Great. I wish you all the best on your journey as a beautiful Lesbian lady. Congratulations

[@katzgar]

Some of us have been good at lying to ourself and some of us are ace

[@craigstoddard686]

It takes a lot of courage to come out. God bless you and I hope you, if you haven't already, find your forever love and have many happy years of love and happiness ❤️ 💕

[@Turorudi95]

[@joy7367]

really appreciate the vid! just as a side note 4:28 comp-het is compulSORY heterosexuality rather than compulsive! (the idea of compulsive heterosexuality is very comical to me though)

[@magnolia6968]

hi! i actually resonate with you so much, i wasn’t legally married but i basically was in a common law marriage, with a baby resulting from it. I’ve always known that i was at the very least bi, but now i’m having my “oh…” moment.

[@biancavandelli8291]

Thank you Sara, your story is so interesting! Hope you'll upload more :)

[@rachelgreen7729]

Thank you so much for this! So helpful ...it was the same for me when being with men. I would have to fantasise about him being with a women, when it was actually just my desire!

[@finallyfree2BMe]

I didn't grow up with religion however I ended up meeting a friend in high school that was 16 who invited me to church. I ended up in a church for 15 years that was against being gay and even went to ex gay ministries. Eventually I found an accepting and affirming church that celebrates the LGBTQ+ community

[@lamblyy]

an LGBTQ affirming church is not a true church. We know that LGBTQ is a sin and its lust because the Bible says so. The church you’re attending is not a true church. I was bisexual and transgender but God saved me from that lifestyle and showed me how Christ died for me so that i no longer live in sin. Turn to Christ. There is no lies or confusion in Christ. Only truth, love, and peace.

[@CarolineYvonneHallstrom2005]

I thought I was straight until about six weeks ago. I then realized my "girl crushes" were actual crushes and what I thought was crushes on guys was aesthetic admiration. I was like "I can't be gay, I have a boyfriend" until realizing the boyfriend was the lone exception, the only guy I felt attracted to. I was like "why do I look at him the way I look at girls, he's not even remotely feminine" and over time I put 2 and 2 together. I think I'm a Kinsey 5.9995 or something. I come from a conservative old money family, too, and I haven't come out to them yet. Given how they reacted to me embracing my true authentic aesthetic (tomboy/masculine/androgynous) it's going to be another rough time for me when I get around to it.

[@pinkdeckenergy]

4:49 I think I just had a eureka moment

[@hannahkirkpatrick8247]

I am so grateful to you, & for you being so authentic!!

[@danielamiller6615]

Thanks for this video!

[@victoria.b5]

ive seen your tiktoks, thanks for the video!

[@eulenfeder_]

I am sorry because that’s not the point of your video AT ALL..but first thing that came to my mind when I saw you was „OMG, she looks GORGEOUS!“ 🙈 Definitely excited to see more content from you 🤗

[@tarynriver]

I came out as bi when I was 29 I’m now 32 but my biggest issue is idk where to meet someone I feel like I’m doing some wrong I’m on dating apps but it seems like I never get matches idk maybe it’s just me😕

[@bubba283]

I kept it hid is pretty good until my ex gf caught me on grindr app, I was too embarrassed to tell her I'm a gay guy, we talked I thought she would be mad, but she just said it's ok if your queer, u can't help who u like.

[@bmoe4609]

Honestly dating apps just suck now. I still use them but they suck. Its either u have nothing in common, or they are looking for another person in their marrige, or fwb. All those things are okay but im like i need the single people who want to catch feelings lol

[@user-hl1ct3yh1r]

Just go to places where you’d like to meet someone like you. Examples can be the gym or a specific bar etc

[@tarynriver]

@@user-hl1ct3yh1r I do try to do this but no one talks to eachother anymore it feels like everyone especially since COVID stays to themselves lol

[@nigelscales2319]

@@bubba283 Hi @bubba283 wow, that was so understanding of your gf to say it's ok if your queer, u can't help who you like. But how about you? Do you feel much better now that your gf knows you are gay?

[@lenkat.4620]

Thank you!🤗💖

[@electronics-girl]

I recently discovered that I'm a lesbian. Your story has a lot of parallels to mine, except that my journey was figuring out the *other* half of the "WLW" equation. I always knew I liked women; that was never in doubt. But it took me decades to figure out and accept my own gender identity. I always assumed "Doesn't everybody wish they were the opposite sex sometimes?" These feelings kept coming up, and I was always like, "No, I can't be trans. That's something that other people are, but it's not something that I am." Anyway, it's really obvious in hindsight, but I was so good at ignoring the signs for so long. What's really hilarious is I just recently realized that the only women who were into me were bisexual. Straight women only ever wanted to be friends. It's as if straight women could sense that I was a woman on the inside, even though I didn't know (or at least hadn't admitted) it myself.

[@c42f]

Yes! This whole video is actually very relatable as a sapphic trans girl. So obviously the details are different - liking women but the internal experience of that attraction (and what to do about it) being weirdly confusing, certainly not following male stereotypes. Sometimes weirdly "feeling gay" but the external evidence saying this is impossible. Haha yes. "being gay and not knowing", totally this.

[@pyenygren2299]

Yes, I am late for the party, and here comes algorithm food. 🌈

[@Viajero-1980]

I think the bisexuality is like the cholesterol.. we all have that, though each to a different degree. So X person is usually attracted to the same sex more (or much more) than that other person ( but still, both can be attracted to both sexes ) . In these times, where the wind is a sea of information, this should no longer be a secret

[@balticstain7150]

Hiya going through the same thing 62 married 34 . F.🏳️‍🌈 bi

[@marizataghoy417]

Keep on smiling gorgeous

[@soniamorales5706]

Me with 2 boys right now 😂 thought i was bi but im not im sure im a lesbian ❤ and i will be 27 in December...

[@Raddiebaddie]

So relatable 😮❤

[@loupelizzo2399]

Can relate so much to this video and you can’t tell someone how long it takes to realise who you really are or lol not gay enough heard this a lot. Enjoyed this video a lot but there is a lot of us thinking the same thing as you did oh I should say me lol um thank you so much for sharing this beautiful video

[@nihalhathaway4089]

btw you're crazy beautiful

[@bmoe4609]

I thought everyone looked at butts and boobs lol. But i knew it was a lil diff cuz id bite my lips n really check them out if i was attracted. Or the "i would treat u better lol". But i also was into men its just i do feel is saw them as an escape and i was raised to no sx till marrige😂. I still love men but whoo i love women too. After pushin it away, especially from.my mom views growing up im finally out. Its been hard on me n my moms relationship, im already athiest now im bi. So yea but im dealing depression from alot rn so im just spending more time alone... also on the kissing men, im virgin n have never been with man n found myself running from tht stuff. Plus it just never happened even if i would. But with women bruh i be wantin it especailly kisses😂, so to whenever my time comes with whomeevr

[@lamblyy]

Hey, God loves you all and Jesus died for you to be free from sin and death and to be made whole in Him. I was once bisexual and transgender for 5 years until God rescued me, healed me from depression, suicidal thoughts, and drugs and ive never been more free, full, and at peace than with Him. Turn to God because He loves you more than anyone else!! Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

[@fresh-eggs]

​@@lamblyyThere's no credible evidence to show or support a God in existence anywhere in reality.

[@avaraportti1873]

By being a woman, that's how.

[@captain_starblossom]

You are so beautiful

[@moonlightstargem1006]

I think women could like me but they have to be gay too ❤ if she’s straight she likes men and i respect that ❤ like i am probably very intimidated to make out with more women. I’ve only made out with one so far and that was my first kiss. And she was clearly my real first love ❤ and she looked like hannah montana and at the time i was obsessed with hannah montana/miley cyrus and i looked like corbin bleau from high school musical 😂 like we were both spitting images of those people at a young age. I could now be corbin bleau’s little sister people say or hallie berry 😂 she still looks like hannah montana but a more grown up refined version of her. My mother did not approve of my coming out. I feel like i may have not completely come out. Yes i always have a naked lady in my dreams even in my subconscious and i’m eating her out and she’s eating me out and it’s so hot ❤ and it’s burried in there. But i’m forced to be straight and i don’t like my relationships with men. I love having relationships with women. Even if it’s just dinner. I had an opportunity to make out with a woman at a party in my early 20’s and instead i just backed out because it’s true i need to go slow. Everything was so fast in that setting i was not ready. I was thinking i was too straight for too long sleeping with men because even my father forced me to be straight. I hated being straight. I liked moments of it a lot but i just resisted sex with men a lot. They always wanted it with me but i was always dreaming of a woman, crushing on a woman. Girl fanning over my own body and admiring the beauty of other women ❤ and laughing with them. That’s all i wanted. Was to sit there and laugh like a crazy person with her, dance, sing, ride bikes and just enjoy life! Those were the happiest moments of my life. My earlier best friend and i would rub each others backs. Like under our shirts. Very very gay behavior. ❤like there was almost an attraction there! And because i’m such a fucking sociopath i messed that friendship up. It was one of the craziest friendships i’ve ever had. We fought like gay lovers. We connected like gay lovers. Without all the sex. It was ridiculous. Crazy events i don’t even wanna explain it’s too embarrassing. Some dark stuff too. But i remember her like it was yesterday. She probably lost respect for me. But i remember her and i’m grateful we ended up on a good note i think. I still question if i have a dark side 🖤❤️‍🔥

[@leahstumm9662]

💜💜

[@victoria.b5]

how is your child btw?

[@lyndaharwood5535]

I was born same sex attracted lesbian....

[@wildearts9550]

I love that you came out and are experiencing your life the way you want But I feel like maybe should have cared a little about how it would affect the men you were dating because it was a waste of time because in some ways you knew that you were uncomfortable with guys in that way. So I'm just saying care that it affected them but don't let it change or affect you ✌️💙

[@hannahb2319]

🙀

[@giuseppinariva9294]

Stupenda creatura chi sono io per ipedirti di amare sei così bella ama sempre perché amore viene messo nei vostri cuori alla nascita e va donato sempre e se lo riceverai ti farà volare su su fino a toccare il blu

[@Mohitkhatma]

This looks like brainwashing. U can share ur experience but saying to other u also feel its a bit over. There r many men and women who believed they r not straight just because society told them what they r doing is right. Many of them regret now for taking some steps from which they can't come back. Its just that no other person can tell who u r it should be coming by ur self. No hate for lgbt only full support for them just conserned for teenagers who takes some steps under pressure.

[@stress395]

This is not brainwashing, its the same as recounting any other PERSONAL experience, and then commenting on others who may share similar experiences. Just like anything, someone WILL take this video and may try to emulate the feelings that they don't have for the same sex. However, they will figure out that they are not gay one way or another. Vice versa though, someone who is actually gay who finds this video will benefit from it, as it gives them something or someone to relate too.

[@lamblyy]

Hey, God loves you all and Jesus died for you to be free from sin and death and to be made whole in Him. I was once bisexual and transgender for 5 years until God rescued me, healed me from depression, suicidal thoughts, and drugs and ive never been more free, full, and at peace than with Him. Turn to God because He loves you more than anyone else!! Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

[@fresh-eggs]

There's no credible evidence to show or support a God in existence anywhere in reality.

[@JesusIsKing100]

Jesus loves you so much, He died for your sins so that you can be saved from hell. The things of this world will not give you what you search for, turn to Jesus Christ, repent and put your faith in Christ, He will fulfil you, give you true peace, love and freedom from sin to live the life you were called to in holiness. God bless.

[@fresh-eggs]

There's no credible evidence to show or support a God in existence anywhere in reality.

[@brandonhughett4895]

Nobody cares that's your private business

[@marlasinger8274]

pound sand