How Comparison Keeps You Poor

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

The toilet analogy is already controversial! Are you pro or anti that analogy, let me know 👀 Also, if you don't know what to get someone for the holidays but you know they love learning & personal growth, I seriously recommend Masterclass (today's sponsor!). I gifted it for my family a couple years ago and they loved it! :) Head over to masterclass.yt.link/4d40bOd for the current offer!

[@anniannianniii]

I love the analogy tbh 😂 I am chronically ill so it’s particularly resonant for me - of course no one’s posting mid flare up selfies!! 😅

[@Soylecha]

Very controversial….but I understand it now :)

[@ArchIVEDCinema]

I feel like you make an above-average amount of poop-related analogies... 🤔

[@jmsl_910]

@@ArchIVEDCinemaSAT-type analogies. very esoteric

[@haqidaz6119]

any poop analogies are good analogies coz we all share the same thing in everyday of our lives lol

[@ScarletWitch597]

My friend just recently gave birth and she posted gorgeous pictures of herself and her baby. Just today, she posted pictures of gifts her husband gave her - an expensive set of jewellery, a new iPhone, a meal from a fancy restaurant and an expensive bouquet of flowers. My initial reaction was, “Dang. My husband didn’t give me any gifts after I gave birth!” Then I took a step back and looked inwardly. I realised how blessed I am to have a very supportive husband! He let me rest more. I only woke up to eat, shower, breastfeed and spend some time with my baby. While he, on the other hand, cooked our meals, stayed up late with our baby more than I did, helped our daughter with her homework, cleaned the house, did laundry and arranged childcare when he’s too tired. Sometimes it helps to take a step back and realise how blessed we are with what we have. The grass is greener where you water it.

[@nomisibaya3196]

I hope you realise that your friend did all of that for external validation and no other reason. You don't need to get caught up in that.

[@adriab5796]

This was a tough one for me too, because my husband didn’t give me shit after I gave birth and I almost died. But he did take care of the baby and I as best he could afterwards. Cooking meals, doing chores, etc. I try to be happy with that.

[@Theviewerscience]

@@nomisibaya3196 Hello, I would'nt be so sure that it is done for external validation. Wanting to share your blessings with your loved ones can indeed be seen like that when the viewer is in an insecure place himself, but the viewer can also be just happy for your friend/lover/family (which is the healthiest and normal scenario). What we see on close people's social media is not especially designed to target us in a mean haughty way. It is what you choose to understand from this information that matters. Don't know if I explain well my POV :-/

[@cece121234]

Man, mom envy is real! I had a tennis coach who brought her baby to the courts like 4 weeks post partum. That lady was ripped and all the women were praising her. Yeah, that's a tough one.

[@Joyceline]

I've maintained a gratitude journal for over two years now, writing three things I am thankful for every single day, and it has completely rewired my brain. Life feels more abundant, and I find myself spending less money and focusing more on positive life experiences over material things.

[@Earthstar444]

I had one then I had a concussion and everything was too much and I could barely get through school. I started writing some and putting them in my pillow, ask for what you want and be prepared to receive it!

[@Aurriel]

After an accident I started to compare myself with my past self. And let me tell you, right after the accident that was a terrible idea! But one of my therapists actually help me with that by telling me to focus the comparison only on myself from yesterday and only on the parts that I worked on. Back then I had to learn how to walk again - and being able to lift one toe suddenly was my biggest achievement in a long time. And now everytime I get envious of someone being able to run a marathon (etc. I remember how grateful I am to be able to walk again (and how much work that had been). One day I will run too, just not today.

[@julie-zmb]

I’m proud of you ❤

[@vbmalek]

this is why i quit social media and started to actually call my friends to share updates

[@SpiritLedLisa]

Quit social media sharing in 2013. I just call friends n family too. Best decision ever

[@andrij.demianczuk]

The late Charlie Munger famously made the assertion that greed isn’t our greatest reason for unhappiness. It’s envy. I really like that idea. Another AMAZING quote comes from Kurt Cobain: “wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are”. Let that one sink in for a sec.

[@noveltyrobot]

Cara was clearly backed up with the poop analogies... Glad to see her push them out.

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

yoooo i love this

[@KibblesnBitts]

Never thought I’d hear a metaphor about pooping that so perfectly encapsulates the point 😂

[@jordanjohncarloj.8878]

Honestly you're my fav KZbinr, keeping me mindful on my money and helping me to get over my online shopping addiction little by little.

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

thank you so much :) so glad to hear that the videos help!

[@NomadOverNormal]

My flex is maintaining my Honda accord for a 20 year span. (7 years in)

[@arh1234]

Keep it up! Preventative maintenance is key.

[@robertlee4172]

Don't go hard into corners. Bad for the boots and joints.

[@tinywalnut6337]

Remember that internal validation means you are impervious to criticisms or comparison from others, as well as compliments. Other people's opinions shouldn't matter, bad OR good

[@ambiarock590]

Getting off of socials has been one of the best things I've done for myself in the past year. I used to scroll reddit and isntagram and I've deleted those apps from my phone entirely. I just choose to be bored and let my mind wander in my day to day life

[@thomasb.smithjr.8401]

'Why be a second rate version of somebody else when you can be a first rate version of yourself ? ' Judy Garland

[@anniannianniii]

Omg Cara, I saw this video and initially misread it as “how compassion keeps you poor” and thought it was going to be about how companies will ask for the customer to donate to a charity then turn around and claim they donated X$ themselves as a tax write off, preying on the lower class’s empathy and compassion to bolster their own capitalist goals 😅 would this be something you could discuss more in a future video? I’m sure there’s a lot on the back end of corporate charity “donations” both good and bad that is hidden from the public! What the video ended up being about was super important and good though!! Great content as always 👏🏻

[@ghumashenaa4414]

this would be a great video topic!

[@VaeMhairi]

I watched a video once and they were arguing that yes, celebrities (in that case) asking for money is great and all, but why do we brokies have to donate our hard earned money when giving away 500k to a charity would hardly even make a dent in their account. And that changed my outlook on donations and charity by a lot. I think donations are awesome if you keep it local.

[@anniannianniii]

@ yesss I agree wholeheartedly!!

[@julie-zmb]

You wrote my internal thoughts earlier this morning when I saw a commercial on TV. A “pay plan” for 3 months to donate $100 to some company idk looks fishy overall as always but it just made me think of this is exploitation and not donating.

[@careshare-I-Love-God]

I was an extreme shopaholic. I also used to take international vacations with my family as well. Now, we just visit the local parks and go to festivals because we put our money on real estate investments instead. One of my friends actually said "get a life! " Another one said " enough trying to get richer already. " They do travel annually and sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on life. But then if we just spend like drunken sailors, we will never get as far ahead financially as we like. A few years more then maybe we could travel again... The thing is, we have to sacrifice something to attain something. Don't be bothered about getting a delayed gratification. Having financial freedom is better than accumulating tons of debt🙂

[@chitravi77]

In this age of comparison a step back and appreciating your own life makes a whole lot difference. There are times when my difference with my parents make me scorn them and get angry on them but once I take a step back and appreciate the things they have done for me .......the anger, the scorn? It reduces exponentially!

[@cloudfur29]

Hey, thank you for this comment. As a college kid living with my parents, it’s been normal for me to complain how many late parties I can’t attend. Now I’m just grateful because I eat home-cooked meals everyday lol

[@chitravi77]

@cloudfur29 we can't get everything at the same time. Yet we can be grateful of what we have at hand rather than crying for what we don't have. I'm proud of you for appreciating your parents

[@mattwong5403]

A good example of this is college admissions for undergraduate students. University prestige matters to some extent, but not getting into an Ivy League or one of the top public universities like Berkeley does not make someone a failure.

[@margotchurchill5593]

@@mattwong5403 so true.. my son went to a state school, and 4 years later was working side by side at Google with someone who went to Yale. Both earning the same salary doing the same job. Yale had SO MUCH student loan debt!

[@kredd6749]

That poop analogy was incredible 😂 11:52

[@Quickeeeee]

I have one of those gratitude diaries. And I've learned that if I let the pettiness, anger and comparison stuff out, I'm usually grateful afterwards. So my posts nearly never start with "I'm grateful for..." Because that's not my vibe. I need to complain, rant and put ppl down for a while first to realize that I don't actually need to do that x). It's a process I guess!

[@camalcina]

I always advise people to reflect on moments where they posted somethig on social media that made thier life look perfect when it really wasn't. I want people to see that if you have the ability to have a perfect post while your life was falling apart, what makes you think that can't apply to any stranger on the internet?

[@katwinabee]

the toilet thing is the funniest version of Theodore Roosevelt's "Man in the Arena" speech 🤣

[@sammy9855]

Always delivering!!! Thank you for your work!

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

thank you!!

[@tinywalnut6337]

I'm very internally validated. About as much as a person can be, I think. My issue is when I start dating someone like my ex, for example. He compared me to other girls he saw online, even though a lot of those photos were fake, unrealistic, etc. Even though I was already working out daily, I suddenly felt like I needed to work harder at having a bigger butt and better skin. When I dropped him, my self-esteem skyrocketed by comparison, and I stopped feeling anxious about my decent, albeit reasonable, butt. And my skin looks great, because I gave myself the chance to heal it, AND I'm not under the constant stress that comes from dating an asshole.

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

wow that guys sounds like such a loser! i'm glad you're out of his toxicity these days!

[@pookieadw]

Unfortunately it is not just social media. It's very much real life too. I just bought a house a single mom. one person literally said 'how foul YOU do that with your job?!' or other comments like this trying to assess my wealth because I am not a flashy person. It's unfortunate people project their limitations and insecurities onto others. I am learning not to take it personally.

[@thomasb.smithjr.8401]

@@pookieadw Unless of course they insist on invading your space compulsively and reminding you how much you are beneath them. Then you realize how sad and sick they must be inside with no other purpose in life. 🤔

[@pookieadw]

@@thomasb.smithjr.8401 For real. It's a painful realization. It's their own insecurity. No matter what anyone says, they won't take away my accomplishments.

[@thomasb.smithjr.8401]

Just so long as I'm ahead of somebody, they think inside their heads. And they sit and obsess there. I think this is called perversance ... 🤔

[@n.desmond8204]

The cleopatra intro is brillant !

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

yay i'm glad you liked it! it was really fun to learn about that story!

[@swandaley]

This is a great value!

[@BABYSAU98]

You are such a reassuring person which is nice to see online. Thank you.

[@MuseSunflower]

It’s definitely part of human nature to compare! I have to consciously create healthy boundaries around this and what helps is making sure to limit my time scrolling. And filling my life with social activities, hobbies, personal development goals and self care.. when I’m fixated on building up my own life I notice there’s no room to be worried about other people I do notice that if someone’s life is triggering you, it might be showing you some thing you are lacking. For example feeling insecure about someone else’s fit body could be a sign you need better focus on your own health. Or feeling the “fomo” when seeing people hang with their friends could be showing you that you desire a social life of your own. Sometimes feelings of jealousy or insecurity can motivate you to make your own life better ❤

[@Moniccamccarty]

I just had to take a moment to tell you that I truly appreciate this video and I just love your adorable earrings! 😊✨

[@SR-ju4uh]

I went (past tense because she graduated before me) to law school with Bridget Mendler! There are so many people here who are accomplished, beautiful, kind, and brilliant. If i compared myself to my peers often enough, i wouldn't have any room left to be proud of myself for being here! Love this video - great reminder to count my blessings 🫶

[@ZelB06]

Took many years but I focus on me and my family, what is needed and what we like. If you focus all your energy on someone else then you will never achieve your own goals and see how much of a success you can be 😊

[@uhyeah3852]

I absolutely loved your analogy

[@cn7228]

11:11 I'd love to request more poop analogies. I'm so here for this.

[@timelessfinancialservices4364]

Thank you!!! Comparison in BOTh directions is wrong. If you can only be "grateful" by seeing someone having it worse than you, you are in a way hoping you always have someone suffering so that you can say "At least I have a home" Conversely if someone has it better than you supposedly, you will get VERY envious thinking how it should have been you.

[@nekomimi5471]

Excellent topic and video!

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

thank you so much!

[@Quickeeeee]

It's also good to watch how you interpret stuff. I had a friend block me on social media because I ranted about bad dates. Because he wasn't event getting any dates, so it made him jealous. It made me reconsider my privilege (as a woman) but also to maybe be a bit watchful of his tendencies to see thing negatively.

[@1revjay]

Thanks for the cool lesson.

[@cece121234]

I think there is a difference between appreciating someone's nice things and feeling jealous. If we all strive to simply appreciate their beauty or nice homes or whatever instead of feeling inferior, that would be great.

[@819669340]

I literally found this video at the exact time I needed it 😫

[@TheoneAlice]

They seem to be living a good life. Why can't I? I often find myself thinking this way, especially with the influence of social media. When you see people your age traveling, enjoying good friendships, or eating whatever they desire, you begin to question yourself Yes, they have their difficult and challenging moments, but most of the time, they appear to living a life. And I want what they have.

[@SomeChink]

If you are actually thinking that way, cutting off social media might be what you need

[@BOOMbear214]

I came for the financial advice, and I stayed for the bathroom analogy. 😂

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

woot woot! 💩

[@timelessfinancialservices4364]

@@thefinancialfreedomgirl

[@maplestorygod]

The poop analogy was top tier, big fan and definitely laughed my butt off for that one. 10/10 hahaha!

[@bhsprinkle]

Thank you. I'm not finding myself comparing my life to material possessions although there's occasionally things that I want. I'm finding when I do fall into a comparison trap it's skills or knowledge that I don't have. My life recently has felt without purpose. I'd love to learn musical instruments, multiple languages, and have a career (preferably something that I love doing or am passionate about). Therefore, seeing individuals with traits I want gives me pause. I try to see it as it's possible for me to achieve also.

[@kingcarcas1349]

Not unionizing is what keeps you poor

[@Affoordable]

Omg!!!! i love your earrings and the way you styled your hair in this video!!!!

[@TheWeekendYogurt]

Your toilet humor analogy was worth of a Grammy. Your next video should be also sited by Poo-pouri lol

[@EmL-kg5gn]

Unrelated but those rain cloud earring are so cute!!! 🌧️💕 Comparison is such a danger to ourselves and others. Like imagine if elon musk practiced some gratitude, if he did he might not feel the need to rob so many workers and the planet. But instead he’s insatiable. No amount of power or money will ever be enough for him to be content 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@illxdill2576]

Love your videos even if I don't wholly agree with every point! Hope you continue to make them forever

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️

[@yougotnojams8237]

0:23 I’m sorry, that pale woman is supposed to be the Egyptian CLEOPATRA??💀

[@rymrosey]

I got confused fr

[@noneofyourbusiness6201]

Guuurl, Cleopatra ruled Egypt, but she was Greek Macedonian

[@Joyceline]

Can you do a video on how health insurance is designed to keep you poor

[@arh1234]

What? Health insurance is designed to allow you to access modern medicine without going accidentally bankrupt. Implementation needs work, of course.

[@heysaras]

Non-socialized healthcare (for-profit healthcare) is designed to keep you poor.

[@Joyceline]

​@@arh1234The 100 million Americans who owe $220b in medical debt have entered the chat.

[@arh1234]

@@Joyceline I think we're agreeing. Insurance is designed to limit that debt. Obviously there are issues with how it is implemented.

[@DavidCruickshank]

@@arh1234 As a European. No, Health insurance is there to make Insurance companies lots of money. Socialised healthcare is there to allow you to access modern medicine without going bankrupt.

[@Sayu035]

I love your videos, toilet analogies and all 😊 thank you for sharing your wisdom!

[@Mura-bot]

Cara, your beauty has no comparison :)

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

aw shucks thank you :)

[@Steph_Bx13]

I loved this video so much. Stoicism helped me be happy with what I have and not focus on what I don't have (deleting social media 5yrs ago also helped). ❤ I love Ryan Holiday, the concept of stoicism and have Meditations by Marcus Aurelius on my nightstand.

[@VeronicaKat]

I love the toilet analogy 😂

[@corneliatjandra4500]

Honestly, I’ve had to stay off instagram like a month before my wedding right to this day, 7 months after it. Why? Because i kept seeing photos and videos of beautiful weddings I couldn’t have. My husband and I had a limited budget, not too small but not too big either. So while the comparison didn’t actually lead me to splurging beyond our wedding budget, it did make me feel very bitter. Not good at all. So I decided to stay off and just focus on being happy with the love of my life. Every now and then the jealousy still creeps in but I try not to dwell on it

[@jerjerz21]

You're not alone! I got engaged in January of this year and had another friend who got engaged months later. Now, they're sending out invites for their wedding next year at a venue that I'd really love to book but couldn't because of finances. My fiancé and I decided to have our wedding much later to give us time to save in a more intimate way, as we don't want to spend that much just for a wedding. I admit, I felt very bitter and cried when I received the invite but realised that I was being silly, as it's not about the wedding but the marriage, and I felt guilty later on for feeling that way initially instead of being happy for my friend, who I know has worked very hard to get to this point in her life. There's no point chasing a lifestyle that isn't meant for you. I'd rather save the money for something more valuable to me, such as travelling with my partner. I wish you all the best for your marriage!

[@corneliatjandra4500]

@ congrats on your engagement!! And you’re totally right! These days I just focus on having fun each day with my husband. After all, it’s the marriage that matters most, not just the wedding. Wish you and your fiancé all the best!!

[@MattHall1]

No lie, the 💩 analogy was 💯. You’re great at this. Keep doing the work!

[@nessvu8347]

LOL the poop analogy was great

[@karolynanderson2033]

YESSSS ❤ Needed this

[@KD6-3.7.2]

The poop analogy was masterfully conveyed 😂😂😂

[@brolydictcumberbatchmontou401]

Including the poop analogy I love the way you curb my thinking, and through various lenses I can notice habits and motives that I become financially aware of. Conscious of it now through personal analysis. I question If i really need the elite level ebike and settle for something more suitably priced and unconcerned about others will think about my ride. Do I need the top of the line gear? How much we compare ourselves to others.

[@themysteriousnavi6850]

Everyone always has compared each other and everyone always will compare each other! It's human nature!

[@tigerslilly]

We have to remember it's not just us comparing ourselves, a lot of the time others are comparing us. I was comparing my body to other girls at the age of ten because of so called family friends who decided to criticize my body when i was around 8 or 9. That's also how we start comparing ourselves to others

[@Callcurls]

I see Bridgit Mendler as a inspiration personally more than someone to be jealous of.

[@kirsten9323]

You can also start comparing yourself to someone who has a 'worse' life than you do. Not in a way of feeling someone else is beneath you, but to realize that someone else might look at you and think: they have a much better life than I do

[@jasmine-clarissaramos226]

Real early on this one.

[@Никодим-м9ъ]

Same

[@muneebbasit8519]

Life goal updated: Get my pop scheduled to synce up with someone.

[@SidUzl]

“Stepping away from poop analogies” 💀😂

[@Aubrey2004-j4k]

Thanks

[@vvitch-mist20]

Sometimes if I feel down about having so little money, I think about how I don't have to work a job and I feel less bad lol.

[@jmsl_910]

are you retired?

[@vvitch-mist20]

@jmsl_910 On SSI.

[@SPMinerva]

Honestly i become curious how long the line at met gala bathroom with those crazy dress. Thank your inceptioning me Cara

[@illegalalien6542]

That speech by Opera DID NOT age well LOL...

[@Aker811]

People are really good at min-maxing fun out of everything.

[@emilyking9558]

You have finally hit a nerve with me 😅. I love your content but I’m usually not the target audience. This video though makes me rethink some things. Thank you for fantastic videos with helpful messages

[@anthropomorphicpeanut6160]

The analogy lol

[@dancinggrace22MSU]

Great pooping analogy.

[@gabycruz814]

Love the vid

[@jason.cr2]

dude I was eating

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

💩🍴

[@sahidulislamvet-et9nx]

Good content

[@rymrosey]

I'm Egyptian and that intro was a jumpscare wtf

[@kendrahwhyte9960]

"...and a cast of thousands."

[@Gettothegone]

Yeah because if you stop comparing yourself money will fall out of the sky 😂😂😂. More like corporate capitalism keeps working class people poor

[@dyskelia]

Comparison is the thief of joy 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@avengermkii7872]

Pretty sure the comparison crap is just another method of manipulating people to just buy stuff. All of those movies are basically just peer pressure to buy BS even though you can just buy what you need and move on with your life.

[@wanr5701]

Those who need to one up another, certainly have lots of inferiority complex and insecurities issues within them.

[@MP-kx7kq]

Cooked. And ate.

[@mistergitgud]

and now will poop!

[@mohs1nsha1kh]

She explained caste system in india in under a minute

[@therandomcatalt5242]

As a famous man once said “pee pee poo poo”

[@suddenanxiety]

that's a weird way to pronounce hierarchy.

[@llawliet72]

I have a love/hate relationship with the toilet analogy😭. It makes so much sense and is definitely memorable but it's also... well... I don't think I need to explain the hate part lol

[@jmsl_910]

indeed

[@AHMD-nk5vl]

I EAT PESTO PASTA WHILE WATCHING THIS VIDEO👍

[@TheThriftingTherapist]

No way, me too!

[@D.von.N]

Folks, by viewing all that influencer's nonsense, are directly contributing to the influencers' income, while making themselves feeling miserable. That woman with countless carton branded bags looking like an xmas tree... who knows what is in them? Why showing off a $10,000 haul? Just for attention. That has become very lucrative. Not watching that stuff, finding it boring and un-inspirational. Why should I waste my money on stuff I don't need? I don't need to impress anyone by being a corporate slave and wasting my resources on overpriced 'luxury' items produced by underage and underpaid workers in some sweatshop. Companies now import this labour from developing world so they can claim their worthless stuff was produced in Europe, for example. Not having it.

[@CreativeLegend2023]

Good vid cutie Cara

[@kythrathesuntamer9715]

Every day that goes by I am grateful I do not give a single solitary fuck what the jones are even up to even attempt to keep up with them. I understand conspicuous consumption but I just think the whole game is only for losers.

[@ogre706]

Kind of a crappy analogy but it works. 💩

[@Gr95dc]

I did not like the stinking stall thingy at all

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

😅