How Do I Get My Boyfriend (or Girlfriend) to Wait Until Marriage? Godly / Christian Dating

I wanted to break this down to you guys when It comes to you and your partner being on two different pages. I hope this helps you!
Check out my playlist all about our courtship story on my page & the videos below.
Ig: nicolelise
Email: [e-mail]
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Key words
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[@victoriamoyo]

As a Christian, l want to be in a relationship that glorifies God. Abstaining from sex before marriage is pleasing to God. Not giving in to my human desires when dating will develop a healthy pattern where l am able to continue to obey and honour God in my marriage. If l am not willing to be obedient when dating, l will probably struggle with obedience when l get married.

[@braidedbygrace]

I met an amazing guy a month ago. We hit it off maddd like I hardly like people but I liked this guy (not a crush). We had a first date, it went so fireee sparks everywhere. And then one day before the second date, I had to tell him I was waiting till marriage. He was sooo sad but he was like he couldn’t do it and all that. And now we don’t talk😭. I was sooo sad I started second guessing my decision. I didn’t give into it though so I thank God for that

[@marthamagagane6192]

My exact strory.

[@missmcphee8859]

I am LITERALLY in this exact same situation right now. Like legit what you described. It's so disheartening, he is lovely says all the rights things and wants to wait as long as it takes, but just not till marriage. I want to compromise on my beliefs, but I just CANNOT compromise on my values ultimately.

[@braidedbygrace]

Honestly babes. It’s okay we will get there. Now you know you aren’t alone💃💃

[@Annahbri]

Don’t tell them so early, always allow them to fall in love with you first, your sex life is non of their business early on anyways girl, truth be told he could’ve been husband material but he’s still a man and a hunter, you spoil the dating process speaking on certain things too early. Tony Gaskins has a great video on this check em out ! ♥️

[@braidedbygrace]

​@@Annahbri that seems quite deceptive though. I feel like it's quite a big thing to keep from someone for that long. Imagine the person has said sex in a relationship is important for him or her and knowing that, you dont inform them that you arent down for sex until marriage. That's wierd and wrong in my opinion. I wouldnt want someone to do that to me if the roles were reversed

[@theseedsower4011]

Us as Christians some of these things should be discussed on the first and second date!. But I understand the flesh is flesh, lust is lust, and the moment is the moment! Can't win every one of them. Cool video

[@yasmindavidson5171]

The Seedsower I used to think this needed to be discussed on the first date , now I think its a terrible idea. A couple of reasons. Firstly I think its a little bit of an insult to a guy. Going in very early and just talking about something so intimate and actually heavy , when you don't know each other to even touch on that conversion. Dating is supposed to be fun. Also I watched Tony Gaskins who is both a Christian and a dating coach. He handles this so well. Goes over it on his channel. I would say as Christians we need to listen to wisdom not just biblically but also from those who are able to speak on the dating world, as that's their job, and are also Christians. I think the fact that he's a guy is also very useful. Personally I've listened to a few 'Christian women dating coaches ' and I think they are just so tied up in poor and unrealistic suggestions. That's how I found Tony Gaskins. He's also very funny, aswell as the rest.

[@JB-ro7kq]

@@yasmindavidson5171 I believe I listened to one of his videos on the subject a couple years ago. While I do agree that it shouldn’t be discussed on the first date, if I can remember properly I believe his advice was to keep stringing it along as long as possible. I don’t think that’s wise either. Why you let a guy get his hopes up when you know you don’t plan to be intimate. Shouldn’t you bring up sooner than that, to see if y’all are equally yoked? What’s the use in investing all that time, energy, and emotion if y’all not on the same page spiritually? Because let’s be honest, if is guy or girl doesn’t believe in abstaining in sex before marriage, do they truly have a close relationship with the Lord? I rather weed that out ASAP. But not on the first date lol

[@nicolelise]

So much truth! Why waste time to avoid the inevitable!

[@yasmindavidson5171]

@@JB-ro7kq he didn't suggest to keep stringing it along . When I listened to the whole video I thought it made perfect sense ( although initially I thought it seemed that was what he was suggesting) I think as I listened to the full video I understood more what he was saying. And if the guy knows your a Christian and he is two, then really he should be working from the assumption you are practicing celibacy ( so should he). I know that's not always the case . But if two people are claiming to be Christians, then it's kind of 'false advertising ' for one or the other to be looking to have sex before marriage. If o was dating a guy who was a Christian I'm already assuming he is practicing celibacy. Although as I get to know him,that may not be his intention at all. Sometimes you just know you have to have that conversation dependent on the situation at the time. But I guess I'm going on the basis that as Christians it shouldn't really need to be a big discussion. It should just be understood from the start, but further discussed down the line as need be.

[@medline5140]

This topic is so spot on because I took a personal break from dating. Each guy I dated in the past years claimed they were Christian but their actions were not. I had to pray to God for discernment, which ultimately led to me cutting them off entirely. The waiting phase is hard, to be honest, because society puts a lot of pressure on women mainly to be a wife and a mother. I saw this tweet the other day that said, "you can't have faith and doubt God at the same time", which really resonated with me. I will wait and I will find enjoyment in waiting and trust what God has in store for me. Congrats on baby # 2!!!!! And Merry Christmas!

[@DanielleGRamm1]

My boyfriend and I had a son together after 2 years of dating and this was all before I found my path towards God. I really feel God is telling me that I need to stop our intimacy until we both know for sure our relationship is forever in marriage. Thank you for this.

[@kaylahood1000]

I really don’t trust men who go to church I was talking to this one guy I met online. I told him I’m waiting until marriage he just isn’t willing to wait until marriage because he is so worried about women like me being bad in bed. I have been waiting until marriage for 6 years I’m thinking about giving up on waiting until marriage to have sex I’m 33 years old and I haven’t met a man who is waiting until marriage like me. I really want to give up I don’t want to be in my 40s or 50s not married and having children at an older age instead of a younger age. Like in my 20s. Im 33 never been married and don’t have any kids. Waiting until marriage hasn’t gotten a lot of us women anywhere not me.

[@WePlayKaylaPlay]

I understand. Have you decided or will pray about it

[@kaylahood1000]

@@WePlayKaylaPlay I have stopped praying to God about a man and other things a long time ago. In this season that I'm in I am grieving the loss of my grandmother and I'm doing the best I can to get accepted into Nursing school. Relationships and men it just doesn't work for me it never did. I just feel like there are no men out here who are waiting until marriage to have sex. Nobody is checking for me or really pursuing me at all. I had to take myself off of instagram because the men on there were scammers and the other dating apps just didn't work out for me. Maybe it's not God's will for me to be married or have a man pursue me or want to settle down with me.

[@msessenceofreality]

Because we haven't found a collective of men who make THIS a priority. I agree. Im 24 btw. Single mom and I date single dads. I don't expect them to want to wait and I discuss it. 99% of men don't express this. They depend on God's grace for this alone. I actually found a church that has many young and married families where they talk about the sanctity of godly marriage. But all others merely scratch the surface and men just talk about submission. WIVES, not girlfirends are expected to submit. I don't think you are wrong for breaking this but I hope you are putting yourself amidst prayerful people in different settings or churches. If you see many married around your age there it is a good sign.

[@TharaMesseroux1]

Same here. I’m a 28F Christian virgin who’s been waiting my whole life for marriage but ai never met a man willing to wait with me, even those I met in Bible study at church. This left me depressed and anxious every day the more I grow up as I would like to get married and have a family one day. And I saw all my friends who are not waiting having healthily long term relationships and/or get married. While me who decided to wait had never had a long term relationship. The wait is really unrealistic and damaging my mental health and physical health. I doubt that’s God want for me. I’m giving up.

[@TharaMesseroux1]

I’m a 28F Christian single virgin who’s been waiting my whole life for marriage but ai never met a man willing to wait with me, even those I met in Bible study at church. This left me depressed and anxious every day the more I grow up as I would like to get married and have a family one day. And I saw all my friends who are not waiting having healthily long term relationships and/or get married. While me who decided to wait had never had a long term relationship. The wait is really unrealistic and damaging my mental health and physical health. I doubt that’s God want for me. I’m giving up.

[@kidandjayvlogs1451]

Awesome content! Thank you for sharing. It will all be worth when the time is right. Our marriage story is very similar.

[@louiseseaman-4903]

I met a wonderful man who was eveetthing i wanted. My family loved him so did my daughter. We agreed to wait to have sex until marriage and aet boundaries at the start. I was the cautious one & wanted to just be feiends for 3 months first. He said he saw a future with me & said all the right things. Then a year into dating i asked if marriage was something he wanted and he said he wasnt sure about marriage but wanted children with me. I was very confused to what his intentions were. We were going to church together, doing bible studies together he got baptised etc. He then after 15 months asked if i would be his wife, said he woukd get a ring, i sold ne house we discussed timelines etc. and then 2 weeks later said he had doubts. He went back & forth about marriage for about another year and after 2 years still coukdnt make a decison wetehr he wanted to marry me or not. I felt so insecure and low self esteem feeling i wasnt good enough to marry. Its so bad when guys lead you on promising you a furture. Its cruel

[@1211Brittany]

Needed THIS 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽💕🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

[@polescodes]

I’ve only had relationships that started with sex. I’m currently dating someone and we have been intimate but he has agreed to support me. We are discussing boundaries now and I’m hoping this can work. A slip up would result in us separating permanently

[@chandelinelouis1398]

Love this ♥️

[@beautifulinsideandout9822]

Great topic! 😊❤

[@charlainnicholas4197]

Thank you for sharing ❤️❤️❤️

[@tequilachanel7312]

The Christian man I’ve dated are the worse I don’t even look for it in a man anymore.

[@nicolelise]

There are people who misrepresent the kingdom everyone. It doesn’t mean you should lower your standards.

[@marss4030]

Don’t have a boyfriend lol

[@carriemitchell4745]

I don't like being dumped after sex. It's happened for 15 years straight. So I will be his girlfriend but I refuse to have sex until married. It he loves me, he will respect my decision.

[@kanyasodo5113]

my boyfriend has been a very inspirational factor in my spiritual journey, he prays everyday twice a day and never skipped a Sunday of church. He doesnt drink or smoke and always tells me how important it is to have a relationship with God and taught me how to fast. I love him so much and he has made me want to seek my own relationship with Christ. But we cant seem to stop having sex. I essentially want to discover the truth about what abstinence does to a relationship, even though personally it feels justified with my boyfriend. i just fear us having kids before marriage.

[@nicolelise]

Your boyfriend sounds like he's still struggling to decide to live completely for Christ. You can't decibel someone to the Lord and still sin with them. You can't justify sin just because your boyfriend goes to church, etc. Our fear should be in the Lord, and seek to please him.

[@MelissaLona]

@@nicolelisei struggle with this. Not the waiting part but the faith part. Every time I tell a man I’m waiting, they reject me. There’s only so much rejection one can take. I’ve been single so long and I believe my decision to wait has led to why I’ve been single all this time. God bless you and your husband but I struggle to believe it’s possible to wait because I have never met a man that is either open to waiting or is waiting already on his own. The men in church or the men that claim to have a relationship with Christ are the worst ones.

[@agnesokpeh2055]

@@MelissaLona This is quite honest.

[@missmcphee8859]

Thank you I needed to hear this

[@ADORABEL25]

Im a Christian and made the mistake to want to get to marry fast for the sex. I’m glad I didn’t wait. Sex can really speed things up, marriage needs time. Get to know someone. I rather have sex.. then marry for sex.

[@TharaMesseroux1]

Soo true. And it took me forever to understand I’m a 28F Christian virgin and I just started to understand this. Marriage is a bigger commitment than sex.

[@samantharonci4886]

Hi! I think you guys are circling around the point, but missing some biblical truth here so I felt the spirit calling me to reply!! God is clear that sex is ONLY supposed to be in marriage. It is a COVANENT between man and woman, where God designs us to become one. This is found in a lot of places of the NT. If anyone is getting married FOR sex, it's the wrong idea. Nobody wants you to get married just for sex. God didn't either. He wanted you to love someone so much before marriage, that you make a commitment to them, dedicate yourself to them and celebrate with sex. Sex in the Bible is a celebration of the relationship and bond of love between man and woman. You don't go to the party just for the cake do you? You go to celebrate, and then have cake afterwards. Same thing with how God designs sex!