How Do I Respond To Another's Pain-Body?

This clip is taken from a special edition of Eckhart Tolle Answers - 10 profound inquiries into the nature of fear, the mind, faith, aliveness and more where he talks about the presence required for this challenge. www.eckharttollenow.com
Subscribe to find greater fulfillment in life:
kzbin.info...
Interested in diving deeper into Eckhart Tolle's work? Enjoy a FREE 10-DAY TRIAL to Eckhart Tolle Now: bit.ly/ET10Day
Check out some of our other playlist:
Meditation - bit.ly/2QkG5uU
Our True Identity - bit.ly/2COKGTo
Supporting Awakening - bit.ly/2O4M6dW
Daily Life - bit.ly/2O70SRp
Conversations with Guests - bit.ly/2MiB2Ig
Connect with us elsewhere:
www.EckhartTolleNow.com
/ eckharttolle
/ eckharttolle
/ eckharttolle
/ eckharttolle
Eckhart Tolle is widely recognized as one of the most original and inspiring spiritual teachers of our time. He travels and teaches throughout the world.
Eckhart is not aligned with any particular religion or tradition, but excludes none. His profound yet simple and practical teachings have helped thousands of people find inner peace, healing and greater fulfillment in their lives. At the core of his teachings lies the transformation of individual and collective human consciousness - a global spiritual awakening.
Eckhart Tolle is the author of The Power of Now, a #1 New York Times Bestseller, which has been translated into 32 languages and become one of the most influential spiritual books of our time.
In his most recent book, A New Earth, he shows how transcending our ego-based state of consciousness is not only essential to personal happiness, but also the key to ending conflict and suffering throughout the world.

[@EnlightenedJourney]

The "pain body" is the name given to the collective repressed emotions of an individual. Almost like saying the ego, however the pain body usually is dealing with repressed anger, rage, sadness, fear etc, all the repressed emotions. When a person has accumulated so much repressed emotion a person very rarely shows their "true" self and the "pain body" responds. Hope this helps a bit.

[@johnthefreeguy]

Thank you for freeing me from this obnoxious demon I was. My ego created tremendous pain and suffering for me and others. It was unbearable but now I'm free. Thank you.

[@MrScoobydoo12]

I used to be so in my pain body I didn't know, until my Wife said..." look , even the Dog is afraid" it took me Months or Years to finally believe her about the Dog(which I love dearly) and I saw it , that was the beginning , but awareness has to spring up no matter how small, now I'm aware of my Wife's pain Body, I just try to hug her and tell her I love her, but when she's deep in it doesn't work so I just give her space until it dies down 😁

[@saralouazo8928]

How can we live without those teachings ????? OMG my life before these teachings was a mess !

[@forestsoceansmusic]

It may not be in Eckhart's teaching, but I remember my first partner and I (this was back in 1983) went to a couples counsellor, and she gave us a very good script for whenever we started getting angry at each other. Whenever one of us was aware enough, we were (and we often did, and it worked) to say to the other: "When you say [or 'do'] that I feel...." and go into how we felt with no 'you' statements (except for the initial "When you say that..."). And we were to be totally honest including showing vulnerability, and not make it too long. When we had finished, the other was to only say: "I hear you."; which did not mean 'sorry', or 'you're right' or 'I was wrong', just to say: "I hear you." And then the other could repeat the script from their perspective, with the original responding: "I hear you." And that worked really well.

[@Saviourofhaha]

I find when dealing with anothers pain body it does well generally to verbally express as much compassion, understanding and empathy as is appropriate; from a place of presence and love for the person.

[@Simon0]

i use another pain body to make myself more present. It ends up even better for you being around pain bodies because it forces your presence to grow which will end up being better for you.

[@SasukeUchiha-zd7wm]

Lol, he's laughing in the face of the pain body. Eckhart is awesome.

[@SirenoftheVoid]

That reminds me,sometimes people say things like "i'm sorry,i wasn't myself".That's it right there,what he says about anger not being your true self.

[@Simon0]

SirenoftheVoid yep you can totally lose it then later on you calm down again.

[@lovelove-lu8wo]

My pain body is very sophisticated. It has so many different excuses to get out of being identified.

[@georgetheseventh]

In my experience, none of these techniques work with Narcissists, no matter how long you wait for them. They prefer to remain in their pain body. So then what?

[@dannysze8183]

I stay silence when I encountered another person with pain body. If a person is toxic, I try my best to walk away from them. Everyone is responsible to their own well being and be amicable with the people you encounter. If your partner is toxic, it is better to break up.

[@conorcahill4148]

Eckhart laughing at the pain body made my day 😂

[@frizbeee]

Removing oneself or reacting with total silence when someone is reaching out in deep pain, is often like gasoline on the fire. Compassion is the key I beleive.

[@edgeofthemed3011]

Never had the ability to name the "pain body" in my relationships. Now I begin to understand. Powerful

[@lulumystery]

I love that he gets such a big kick out of it all, he's amazing as are his teachings.

[@gangulagangulic8989]

All dislikes came from pain-bodies.

[@errolleefullen]

Gangula Gangulic Looks like this video triggered more than a few!

[@Simon0]

Gangula Gangulic pain body is golem from lord of the rings.

[@apacur]

Gangula Gangulic As do "likes"... because behind the apparent 'like" of something is lurking the unspoken "dislike' of something else...... It's the Attachment To (the like or dislike) that then inevitably leads to the pain body arising (eventually)

[@weirdmike360]

+Gangula Gangulic hahahahahahahahahaha

[@gwm6102]

+Anne Pacur Well said. If you allow the antithesis of some form of the ego to be unconscious, consciousness of the thesis is only half-awareness.

[@cariadwr9]

I work with the sick and dying. I have learnt that my personal stance does have an effect on the other. If I am coming from a place connected to the spiritual essence of what we are then I can connect with the spiritual essence of them. The body is not the spirit. True Empathy is difficult to attain; loving while being able to let go and recognize that another's path is their own to tread and their relationship with the creator is their own to understand

[@TheTransparentlight]

It's perfectly okay to be annoyed by such behavior as you yourself don't want it to be apart of your identity, but know that they are their own person. They are sifting through their own emotions/thoughts and for some they are fueling their pain body so that they can experience what it's like to live in such a way. While it's annoying for you, it is necessary for them at this stage to go through living in such a way. Be aware that you are on another level and both of you are growing.

[@silvershirl]

Love and compassion conquers all.

[@chubbatheBOSS]

Eckhart is such adorable person

[@Motorsheep]

I am not Eckhart, but I remember him talking about the subject in one of his videos. In essence, he said that mind-expanding drugs like LSD can indeed create awakening-like experiences, BUT: They're like express trains through these experiences. You're sitting there looking out the window, and it takes you all over the place at high speeds. You can't stop to take a closer look. Having taken LSD myself, I agree - it is an immense experience, but you get dragged you through it without mercy.

[@drivebypoet]

It's a word he made as part of his teachings. The idea is that it is all the pain a person has gone through in life, along with some of the ideas they have from their culture and upbringing. It makes a person look for conflict, and generally not react well to many situations.

[@deebrown1902]

How often I have been confronted with the pain-body position with others and never could understand why they wouldn't want to help themselves. This explains others and myself as well. How grateful I am to be told of the dynamics involving this dilemma we humans find ourselves in without even knowing it.....until now.

[@hotdoggy7]

i often find i snap out of my pain body when i look into a mirror. they are very powerful ancient technology. And i feel that if used carefully, one can also show the mirror to another's pain body. the pain body likes to hide

[@chubbatheBOSS]

hotdoggy7 very interesting. Because it is not the true self so it goes away in the mirror

[@adaku75]

The pain-body is essentially all of your mental and emotional baggage that you constantly carry around with you and reacts to other people's pain-body. He discussess it in A New Earth.

[@TheWJC1987]

I have been dating a girl for 4 months now and this is exactly what is going on between us, literally sat down last night to talk about our problems, the next morning I started the chapter "pain bodies" in New Earth. I love the universe!!

[@saraabebe2082]

His smile just warms my heart ❤️

[@Dreamchaser68]

Bless him.Such a profound guy.Love Eckhart teachings he really puts matters into focus with conscientious compassion.

[@nickolaswinter2975]

no discipline is required, no recipe of response, only alertness to your own internal movements, a watching of what arises in response to whatever is here, now, including the rantings of a person sufferring.....you are not empowered if you believe you are doing something, you are only feeding more of your mind identity, if there is any sense of superiority you are lost in your own imaginings........you know when you're really present with another one who is upset because theres no mirroring, no anger, no judgment......only love

[@TerryLightfoot]

Nickolas Winter - Thank you so much for your helpful comment. I often do that, then realize the wrong move later, after simply making things worse. It is totally ego and your recognition of it being a feeling of superiority is spot on. With that in mind I will now catch myself sooner and go back to present, hopefully before I open my mouth!

[@packofmilk7408]

i haf pain what i do

[@mantykarhu]

Great video. IT'S teaching have changed me. I would recommend reading about Attachment Theory in psychology too. There can be better ways to calm a person/situation than silence or walking away. I agree that you cannot reason/debate/explain with a pain-body. Finding the person's actual need of that moment and filling it can do wonders. Attachment parenting has transformed my way of being a dad, therapist and then partner. Being 'heard' can heal so much, yet it's harder for some to understand and do than simple silence and avoidance.

[@joen.8364]

Eckhart is brilliant in describing the pain-body, as well as the condition of the human brain in general. That being said, one must remember that he doesn't hold a position like most people in the world (a police officer, grocery clerk, middle school teacher, etc.). He had a nervous breakdown and dropped out of society. So, don't be too hard on yourself for being human in a very complex and changing time in this world.

[@mihaibacrau802]

I cosider that if I, the observer, am trully present, then when the pain body of the other manifests, I am able to filter and transform this energy into something superior. This way I can then help the other to gain some awareness. Staying simply silent is just a fragment of the process and it won't do much.

[@sumerolu]

'' I can't talk to you'' I agree with you I was awful and terrible but now I have the presence to understand that that was not me as this is not you!

[@aApTiN]

Thank you Eckhart I would really like to meet you...

[@chrisbanisch]

In my experience with dealing with others pain bodies, I feel like if I were to say " I think that's your pain body speaking" it would just fuel the fire cause that's obviously not what they want to hear, but have to hear. But i totally agree with this idea. It's totally important to get another person aware of their own pain body.

[@Simon0]

they would still have to have a remnant of awareness within them. If no awareness and totally taken over by a pain body then definitely saying 'thats your pain body' would probably cause more argument! they arent going to say 'oh yeah you are right it is the pain body'. They only might say that idf there is still remnant of awareness in them.

[@diannedell8405]

I find humour the best diffuser of pain-bodies, including my own .Of course, not always easy to do if you have a strong reaction to them - but if I can stay aware enough to joke and be playful, it can sometimes work wonders.

[@Simon0]

i love it when Eckhart has humor about human pain bodies! it helps us to see how silly we can be and laughing about it is wonderful!

[@planplan8832]

Jenny Jig the definition of humor without sarcastic humor is acceptable on the other hand humor can mask what's needed to be worked on in my experience

[@aktywnyobserwator5868]

Thank you from France...i've read your book around 3 yrs ago. So i see now that collective pain body makes revolts, revolutions, but if it is not guided by conscious awareness, there will be only chaos...and all the best in 2020, maybe collective change of human consciousness ? ( For the better, i mean ).

[@Simon0]

if you encounter a strong pain body in another it is VERY hard to stay present!

[@Simon0]

eh i wrote this a year ago.. nowadays i would say it is hard but far from impossible! it might take a bit of practise though..

[@LadanLashkari]

Thank you for this very helpful video. Pain bodies often become the biggest challenge of any intimate relationship. Especially when your partner comes with a huge one which keeps rising up every time there is the slightest argument. I am going to try this approach next time, but I do believe if the pain body in the other person is strong enough and they refuse to be conscious of it, it is impossible to communicate. Because they are sorta taken over by their pain body almost all the time.

[@lrd3721]

Ladan, see my comment above. It's not the pain body which reacts, or takes over the person, but the defense against the pain in the pain body, that is coming into the person's awareness, and they don't know how to process it.

[@georgebenichou9727]

get the book of ET : the Power of the Now .he is more profound and understandable than the video .and also you have the time to reflect on what he says and then are able to assimilate and make yours. he also says explanations that cannot be expressed on a video because it is already much more advanced and profound knowledge ! this book of Eckart Tolle is said to be the Best of his work .

[@sharongrove9712]

Ho’oponopono practice helps to erase the pain body in the practitioner as well as family, plants and minerals.

[@SarahVerwei]

awareness comes back in...Always..the person we know is coming back...after a while :)

[@zaraki888]

Eckhart Tolle is so funny haha, I love his way of talking. Gives me a happy mood :)

[@nohanona7187]

This is exactly what happens to me every time.. thank God I am not alone

[@TheAdamlans]

I think a strong idea is to tell the pain body that it is hurting your feelings, particularly when it is coming from someone you have a relationship with

[@amanitamuscaria7500]

When she appears, I tell her I love her. It's ok. And she feels better. She's just a scared little kid, after all.

[@Bamboos2011]

I had someone who has a very heavy pain body attack me yesterday. She said horrific things which I am used to but it has made my mind machine to start becoming very active. Its also hurtful to the inner part of me. Ive completely removed myself but the memory remains of utter unconsciousness of a person.

[@EveKauai]

...when a person has made some sort of Agreement to STAY in Pain - i.e., become Addicted 2 it - then no matter how much Compassion or Love 1 extends, it never ends = b/c that person doesn't WANT it 2 end (the reasons 4 such a sick decision being manifold; e.g. guilt, ignorance, or manipulation by psychopathic person controlling the person who has become addicted - etc) so in a close relationship, both parties must make an Agreement 2 their Highest Self B4 the Pain Body strikes again - & keep it!

[@meinthislifetime8689]

thank you, eckart. :) i have firsthand experience with this on a regular basis, and with someone who is close to me. she is a beautiful person, but her pain body is not. (imagine that!) believe it or not, we have come up with a way to 'prepare' for these incidents ahead of time, at least to an extent. one day, while we were talking, i introduced the idea that if EITHER OF US during a conversation says they would not like to carry on with a particular topic and suggests that we change the subject, we will do so, no questions asked. it's done. (i take advantage of this whenever i sense that you-know-who has entered the scene). the person agreed that this seemed like a good idea, and we have started doing this. (notice, there was no mention of 'pain bodies.' the aforementioned person is not familiar with that expression, and to introduce it would probably only add fuel to the fire). it is enough that she and i have worked out a way to diffuse situations in which the pain body could feed off itself. i will admit, this does not work 100% off the time, and in those cases i assure her of my love, and take my leave. much luv!

[@mrd1228]

this is my favorite one! the video ends perfectly. pain bodies always subside. so why don't we just expedite that by staying present to begin with? or at least, try...haha I LOVE Eckhart! 3>

[@lovewillprevail1]

Thank you for all the wisdom and the light.

[@joefuckit]

Life has three aspects: Paradox, Humor, and Change. - Paradox: Life is a mystery; don't waste time figuring it out. - Humor: Keep a sense of humor, especially about yourself. It is a strength beyond all measure - Change: Know that nothing stays the same.” Humor is most important. I know when suddenly people were making fun (not just of me, but over the situation, smart sharp fun humor, the real deal) I quickly realised how stupid i was argueing about stuff and getting upset

[@johnjames3286]

My ex girlfriend's pain body didn't shut up if I left the house, it plotted and planned how to make my life a misery. That couldn't happen now thanks to Eckhart

[@yourbodyawareness2894]

what do you have to do if you are stuck with someone who is jealous to you for no reason and constantly makes comments? How to not respond to their pain body? I try to ignore or be positive with them and step out as much as possible. But the unconsciousness level is very high. I see only one thing right in this situation: I send love to such person and do not react.This too shall pass.

[@0wenfox]

eloquently put... thanks lord tolle. love ya.. appreciate your time and help for people. your books changed my life. thanks X

[@kemchobhenchod]

brilliant. wrote that quote down and will be mindful look at it, especially when I am in need of presence.

[@Biolupus]

when you get annoyed, it's necessary to recognize that this is your own pain body, and you maybe refuse to realize it also. Awareness doesn't get annoyed. Awareness sees only awareness in the world. Even in the pain body you can see the light, if you are bold enough to look at your own one in the eyes. We don't get annoyed with an animal if we comprehend his position. The pain body is the animal inside humans. Maybe try and appreciate its grotesqueness without judging... as we do to with fire

[@shagwellington]

I want to be Eckhart. It's all just humorous to him. I'm totally unconscious. Have to learn to leave when I feel my enormous pain body taking me over.

[@lensmanjain]

Love you Eckhart..

[@sandhorse1]

Thanks for the explanation. I thought that what it would be, but just wasn't sure if I was on the right track. Thanks again!

[@38frog49eyes]

I agree with jabronavich. It is the golden moment of teaching being offered for us to learn more about being in the presence and letting yourself express the gratitude of being with a pain body. When will the next one arrive...and why?

[@josephlambus4331]

I feel so peaceful when i hear Eckhart

[@4BWVan]

This was wonderful, and very funny. The thought I had right after he talked about the phone calls: "My painbody's been running up my cellphone bill, Ekhart!" XD

[@lynnmcquillan2338]

Again & as always excellent advice - Thankyou Eckhardt & God Bless 🙏😊❤️

[@joycefung2473]

Fantastic strategy. Going to try this.

[@brantdanger]

Read "A New Earth". Painbody is the term Eckhart uses to describe the state a person is in when all rational thought is gone and they are completely taken over by anger.

[@dvt32]

One of the best videos ever!

[@enricosala5316]

WONDERFUL. JUST WONDERFUL.. THANKS SO MUCH, ECKHART 🌱💜

[@stefanotonnini]

Living with my parents, and dealing on a Daily basis with unhappiness and anger, i can clearly feel the pain and the bad feeling among them. I cant handle anymore. Trying to move to another house, economically hard

[@summerisonthursday5239]

Dealing with the PMT "pain body" which comes about for 14 days is very difficult 😬😤😭

[@lucidtraveler6162]

I reckon someone will get slapped for saying, "hey that's your pain body" lol.

[@shubhammittal9764]

LMAO

[@daudhashmi8965]

Lucid Traveler i

[@callmeoutifimbeingatwat4650]

people are going to end up in arguments, "your pain bodies active! no your pain bodies active! no its your ego thats saying its my pain body to defend your own pain body! lol

[@Simon0]

'thats your pain body you idiot!!'. Yeah such a comment may not illicit a good response!

[@petergregorio3881]

Lucid Traveler My ex wife instead of spitting nails would of been breathing an inferno on my soul😂😂

[@carolweidig4689]

good learning. thank YOU.

[@tobes911]

😂 “Hello I haven’t seen you in a while.”

[@mellraizer]

thats the most beautiful rendering of that process ive ever heard.. hope i get there.. : )

[@TheseEyesGod]

Thumbs up. Good, practical advice.

[@Biolupus]

low doses open evenly the doors of perception... I've taken a weak one, and saw everything as one. No hallucinations, no distortions, just the innefable oneness behind every breath. Enough time to realize and appreciate a new world and be changed for ever. The open doors were never completely closed after that, and if we take it by purpose and not by fun, we don't feel the need of new experiences with it, no addiction. But meditation leads to the same when activates the right brain

[@julielabelle2783]

Thank you.

[@Jasonccc150]

Thank you!

[@gonzaloantiguo1]

Thank you for that.

[@MiraLaLuna11]

so true thanks Eckhart 8)

[@godissavior8417]

eckhart is the best

[@takchengsze4719]

After I watch this, I realize that I would not date a person who is not awakened spiritually. I prefer to enlightened by being alone than dealing with others pain body constantly.

[@heatherdawnpipke1669]

you are filled with knowledge...i find listening to you. .will bring me greater insight..literally.:-D

[@n1te]

Eckhart would make a better actor than 95% of what Hollywood offers....... his acting of the subtle stuff like ego is amazing and really 'seems real'.

[@nohanona7187]

Amazing

[@gailbancer1571]

I have family members that have been diagnosed with Mental Illness, which is the unchecked and fully in control EGO. They are consumed and taken over by their pain bodies. Since I have been practicing ACIM, I can observe it and be aware. However, they are constantly attacking and trying to provoke people and create drama. I can not interact in any way, with them, best is to remove myself and send healing light and love.

[@secretjeweloculus7644]

thank you :)

[@surajrayaprolu793]

Hi I haven't seen you in a while. 😂😂😂😂😂😅😂 Man I love him ❤️🙏

[@MariposaRedimida]

So sweet :)

[@n_7458]

man he always right

[@Vannyaniclefy]

I am living with a person who has been having a pain-body for years. I want to live separate from him and stay away as much as possible from him, but he anyways invades my place wherever I'm staying. I try to tell him what I disagree with him but it's the same because he always forgets what I tell him

[@MUSICOBLISS]

It's hard to point out the PB to the partner. They very easily attack and leave bite-marks. Also continuing blaming sometimes over nothing. Help 😲

[@tamsinthai]

Agreed. I presently have the misfortune of having a house guest with a massive PB. Snarks at everything. Nothing's his fault. throws temper tantrums/objects. Walking away impossible, twisted ankle. I DID whack him hard across his head with a digerdoo I had laying about though. He STFU for five minutes whilst nursing his bump. Asshole. 3 weeks to go ...

[@AnnetteFaverey]

Danke~✨💙✨

[@Buddhishgirl]

It is so funny because my husband recently told me it was boring because i dont react anymore hahaha! (His ego manifests by liking pushing others buttons ;)

[@Dreamweaver777]

omgod he's awesome lol...and so right!

[@cummiemusic]

Eckhart Tolle is truly astonishing. The way he smiles... *-* it just looks so... fdoejoefjfe

[@Pomchiluv2019]

Namaste

[@michelemeow7424]

Is it possible for someone to be stuck in their pain body and they can’t receive or make conversation with those closest to them?

[@silverhandle]

Exactly.

[@gillianp63]

How do you deal with a parent who lives with you who is cronically negative? It feels like nails down a blackboard to me. I am not sure staying silent is the answer. For 2 years it still continues. Silent Non reaction isn't working and isn't healing her either. What to do ?

[@nikolinauvjek6722]

what if i am aware of my pain body and still let it do its thing trough me because its a need to express it?