How Do I Tell My Wife We Don’t Agree on Religion?

[@alloutdentrepair]

It blows my mind that people will get married without having these conversations about religion and faith.

[@TB-rx1ue]

Some guys will say whatever to bag and marry you thinking it won’t be a big deal later

[@SherriFlemming]

Differences will create misalignment. Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Divorce Lawyer On Signs Of A Doomed Relationship - James Sexton podcast 🌞

[@Sara-x6t3s]

@@alloutdentrepair oh they had the conversations. He says so himself, he just lied about it all this time.

[@LindleyMatthias]

I wish I had not gotten married without a deeper conversation about faith. We did talk about it, and I think he faked a conversion experience to be with me. But I was still too immature in my own faith way back then to fully recognize the bumpy path that our very different spiritual viewpoints would take us on. I look at couples now who are very much on the same path with the Lord and I long for that so much. But I will never have it. And it’s my own fault. The Bible tells us not to become unequally yoked… and this is why. God wanted to spare us this hardship, angst, and loneliness. I love my husband and we are still married (just celebrated 24 years), but it hasn’t been easy :(

[@LindleyMatthias]

@@Sara-x6t3s Yep. My husband and I talked about it but he also “lied” (not in a malicious way- but because he wanted to marry me, and knew it was important to me)… I think he “prayed a prayer” but it wasn’t genuine in the long run.

[@merrybachelorette]

I lost my faith in Mormonism at 54 years old after raising our kids. I became Christian and my husband is devastated as it has shaken up how I see myself and the power structure in our marriage. We love each other and have been so committed to each other but I shook up his world because he wasn’t the one seeking answers, I was, and he isn’t prepared to read the things I’ve read. There are many commenters here who say to get this aligned before marriage- well we did! We were completely in tune and talked about everything and explored our questions and frustrations together until I found things that really pushed me over a line he didn’t want to cross or hear. And that was also a shock to me too. Because I thought he would listen. So we’ve been frustrated at this development - 35 years of marriage.

[@nikkita1688]

That's so big. Congratulations! ❤

[@benmyers9030]

Lol. Mormons. The religion of the superfluous second m!

[@sds6303]

This is why those things must be established BEFORE you get married! It takes more than love to make a relationship work!

[@SherriFlemming]

Absolutely. Differences will create misalignments. Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞

[@Sara-x6t3s]

@@sds6303 yes, which his wife tried to do. Unfortunately he lied to her. Just the tone of his question screams ignorance. He has no idea how badly he has betrayed her. I hope she learns the truth before she's wasted too much time with him.

[@serenityhomemaking]

Pastors should be mandatory reporters. She isnt reporting this criminal to the police? I hope she does and helps this womanel get to safety

[@greenAbbot]

The problem with the piano analogy is that if someone keeps trying to shove you out of the way of an imaginary piano, you can be touched by how much they care about you but also not want to be around them anymore. If they believe you’re gonna jump when you need to, you can continue to spend time with each other.

[@agentfyre]

Yea, I have a problem with people trying to "save" others, especially against their will. We can box it up and call it love, but it comes off to me as disrespect and condescension. Love doesn't involve force, it involves trust instead. Even if there's no trust in the person, there's trust in God.

[@thetimssportstalk3160]

It’s not a problem. He addressed this. The advice was to get down to the brass tax of her problem. Then, if you find it’s love for your eternal soul, the response is ‘Thank you for loving me, we disagree and I would appreciate us not going down that conversation anymore.’ You create the boundary and now the ball is in her court. It’s hard, but fairly simple

[@rustronin]

@@thetimssportstalk3160 It will always be a problem. If she truly believes and is worried for his soul, she will cross that boundary eventually. In her mind she has no reason not to. She has god and the church on her side; he's just a sinner. You expect her to just sit there and let the hypothetical piano to fall on him? And why would it be good for him to stay with someone who would never approve of who he is and is convinced there is only one place he'll end up. True believers would never respect your boundaries about religion indefinitely.

[@thedavesiknow4598]

@@rustronin right. It comes down to control. Love is not control.

[@benmyers9030]

There are many problems with the piano analogy. If someone insists that the only way to dodge pianos is to agree that they are right about everything and everyone else is wrong, and then they shove you out of the way of a piano that only they can see, they have commited the statutory offense of battery and they need to be locked up for everyone else's safety. It's not about saving peoples souls, it's about the arrogance and pride to think that you are the only one given the divine perception to see the falling pianos that everyone else misses

[@bmwstrike731]

I am a Christian and I dated a non-Christian for 6.5 years. We had a good time in the beginning then it turned badly and the relationship was super toxic. In addition, as I grew up to the adult I am now, I realized I have a much higher value for my Christian faith now and through the toxic, awful relationship I was in, God was telling me she was not the right one for me. I had to break her heart but God is truly amazing because I met my current girlfriend soon after the breakup and she has been so much better in every way and we share common religious values since she is catholic. I can tell you, it’s so much better to be with someone who shares the same religious background as you. I thank God everyday for her and I am happy that I can go to church with her and be faithful together.

[@tmi4507]

So basically you wasted 6.5 years of a woman’s life who wasted her energy and time on you waiting for you to commit to her and then you met someone new to which you’re “now ready” to be husband to? That’s awesome you met someone who believes what you believe, but let’s not brush over the fact that you did what a lot of men are constantly doing to women. You don’t want commit to the one that puts all the work in to help you become the man you are now and then another woman who you met “shortly after” gets to enjoy the benefit of that. Just remember this when you’re enjoying your life with your new spouse.

[@bmwstrike731]

@@tmi4507Oh no, I was not married. Also, I did not include the toxic things she was doing to me that caused me to end things since the relationship was hurting me mentally. We thought we could both pull through it but it we were both awful for each other and made mistakes. Shortly after the breakup, I dated someone else who shares my religion and she got married to another person that shares her religion. And to the best of my knowledge, she is happier than ever. God helped us both.

[@tmi4507]

⁠@@bmwstrike731 well that’s good to hear. I’m glad that you both found someone. 🎉

[@thedavesiknow4598]

@@bmwstrike731 so what happens if one of you doesnt believe anymore? Do you love her more than beliefs? This is the major obstacle of being with someone based on values especially of the religious kind.

[@thedavesiknow4598]

@@bmwstrike731 i was married to someone of same religious faith and it turned toxic. I left. Best decision of my life.

[@courtneymcfarland8333]

Third caller: don’t tell him why she’s a bad person, ask him how he feels about all the things that seem like red flags to you.

[@benmyers9030]

He should stop with the games and tell his buddy that he's in love with him and he wants him to sit on his lap while they watch brokeback mountain together

[@emilieshepherd4005]

@@benmyers9030I was gonna say, I think he wants him in front of him at his wedding not beside him 😂

[@benmyers9030]

​@@emilieshepherd4005"I imagine him as my man. Err, I mean best man!"

[@s.ivainesu]

My parent is like this, but it is not just about religon, it is a lack of respect for my personal preferences. It is never really just about religion.

[@SherriFlemming]

Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞

[@tonybluestar4954]

It’s fascinating that in this life we need proof of everything else in the world! We demand facts when it comes to everything else but religion is the only thing that we don’t need any evidence in order for us to believe and yet religion is so powerful and divisive.

[@alyssaboyle2187]

Right. And society is expected to defer to those beliefs so often. It's bizarre to see this play out in 2024.

[@barbarahansen5353]

Same can be said of love.

[@nicwilliams8623]

How on earth have they been married for ten years without having this conversation??

[@SherriFlemming]

These conversations are essential early on in the dating phase. Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞

[@sarahgordino6695]

Dude sounds like he’s a bit obsessed with this friend he pretty much recently met.

[@DadsChannel-gx3zj]

Sounds like he’s in love honestly..

[@amaragrace94]

Listening to it now and he is VERY jealous of her.

[@jodimarie379]

@@sarahgordino6695 I also wondered if he was abandoned by a parent. He is really disgusted by her. Or he might be in love....lol

[@shellyb5014]

The DV caller.. it’s really shitty to make this friend tell you they’re in a bad situation then essentially force them to make decisions. DV is SO complicated. It’s very isolating to tell someone that if you tell me you’re being abused, I’m either calling the police or checking out of the friendship. Dv is very complicated and has so many facets! Help her create a safety plan, give her the local dv agency in your area, a lot of times, it’s just listening and being empathetic. She will ONLY leave when she’s ready.

[@ItsmeA717]

Same, like don’t tell me or I’m making the decisions for you

[@jodimarie379]

Yeah, but it is physically and emotionally self-destructive to watch a loved one be abused. It chews you up constantly. The only choice is to abandon them (which feels horrible) or let it destroy you. What you guys are talking about is what a professional can do. Create those safe spaces, etc. But if it is a good friend or family member, just hanging around until they are ready us dangerous in many ways. It is dangerous to your physical and mental health, and it can be dangerous because it can turn you into a target. It isn't sustainable in a personal relationship to be on the sidelines of this.

[@KS-un3pi]

I don't know what the right call would be. But being raised in that environment, many knew what we dealt with daily. We had those come to our aid to de-escalate situations, but no one could "fix" our issue. Mom made lots of excuses to not leave. She loved him at the end of the day. She kept us there and made excuses for her reasons to stay. Only she can really understand that, but she wasn't the only one affected by that environment. But she was the only one that "willingly" stayed. Us kids had no choice in the matter.

[@girlygirl1890]

I love you for your comment. I didn't compleely like Deloney's advice about that one. Kinda harsh.

[@shellyb5014]

@ I had to comment! I’m glad he finally acknowledged that people who are in these situations have thought through leaving! But to act like DV can be summed up with a pretty little bow is very dangerous! She can get this woman killed! Dv is VERY dangerous and serious. Isolation is what the abuser wants! Just listen! It’s hard, yes, but listening can help and save someone’s life. It’s really weird how he was so quick to tell this woman to “fix” her friend’s dv situation, but the very next caller, he tells him he can’t fix his friend’s relationship and invalidated the man’s complete feelings.

[@maureenb1109]

The third caller your friend is a grown man and he is capable of making his own choices whether you like it or not, I have a friend who married a guy who I don’t like he is the most obnoxious human being but that being said she loves him and that’s that, she knows I am always there for her but it’s her life not mine.

[@blueseptember2174]

I have a friend like this for me ❤. When everything came crashing down, she's still there. A real OG. 💯

[@suzanne296]

Agree

[@robperto]

I think a friend with an obnoxious spouse is a lot different than someone who is supposedly toxic and possibly handed their kids over to an abuser. But we don’t have enough information anyway

[@Frannie2199]

@@robpertoif all that is true, John nailed it by saying that your friend is not a good guy either if he’s allowing it to happen

[@SherriFlemming]

Protecting The Gift by Gavin De Becker Toxic Parents by Susan Forward

[@analozada9475]

Hence the importance to find a partner who has similar interests and values/creed, or a partner who respects your non religious views, otherwise it will end up in a disaster.

[@AllIwantwasyou1]

My husband and I dont share the same religion beliefs. We dont have issues regarding it at all and we are 10 years married.

[@thedavesiknow4598]

❤

[@agentfyre]

How do you two handle it if you don't mind me asking? Do you just not talk about it? How do you handle religious activities and services? How do you handle religious (or lack thereof) family members? I'd love to know because I often find that couples have a really hard time balancing differences in religious beliefs, especially when it comes to family and children.

[@AllIwantwasyou1]

​@agentfyre im an atheist but i grew up catholic my husband is a non-denominational christian. He's not a regular church goer but sometimes I join him if he wants me there. His family is mixed with religious and non religious we tend not to talk about it. He prays at night I just let him do his thing. My kids are small still if they are interested we talk to them but it's a mutual respect. He doesn't tell me I have to believe in God and I dont him he shouldn't

[@thedavesiknow4598]

@agentfyre id like to add my 2 cents. My husband and I are divorced and we have a 6yo and 7yo. I am a fundamental christian deconstructee. The kids go to a private Christian school and church with their dad. At my house I do not disparage, however I emphasize logic and reason and belief in self. We talk about how life can be really hard and sad as well as amazing and beautiful and sometimes boring. Feel the feelings and move forward. That it is okay to believe in God, or whatever else but strive your best to find the answers within yourself. Living life with the guidance of an outside source puts limits on what you think you can do or be. We coparent well and my kids are well adjusted, smart and creative. Its doable. Let the kids see that the can trust themselves to move in the world. Good luck to you in whatever position/values system you are working in.🥰

[@thedavesiknow4598]

@AllIwantwasyou1 i love this for you guys.

[@evosmith12]

I hope I was lucky enough to be born into the place that has this specific religion. Hopefully it’s the correct one out of thousands.

[@ditttch]

Let her know that you’re not into religion. If she doesn’t respect your position and keeps pushing her beliefs on you, then your relationship is over.

[@KateK-yx3fq]

I can’t help but feel that a friend reaching out and sharing that they are in an abusive relationship is deep down wanting you to report this husband. She is too afraid to do this on her own, but knows she has to get away from him.

[@SherriFlemming]

Support your friend, however you can. . The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker " Sometimes no amount of logic will move a battered woman" - GDB Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker A safety plan is a necessity. 🤐 Consult A domestic violence shelter. They're familar with an abusers tactics. These professionals will help to to leave safely.

[@SherriFlemming]

The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker

[@Vicious_kitty1]

I swear if I couldn’t listen to punk rock or metal music or watch some weird indie film or provocative show in my marriage and discuss and enjoy it with my spouse, I’d be so unhappy. I’d feel like I can’t be myself or show what I like or even share my ideas on things. This guy even sounded nervous to say how he really feels because he doesn’t want his wife/ family/ or the church to accuse him of going to hell or being a sinner. That is the saddest part of this call I think.

[@austinite89]

My wife and I don’t agree on religion. She’s Christian, I’m not. It’s fine. She prays with my son every night, she prays over me. I don’t mind. We agree our kids will hear about all religions and get to make their choice when they’re old enough. It’s really not as big a deal for us.

[@aioaneirebecca534]

Still. She is the head of the house somehow and the spiritual leader, while you.. are not. 🙂 Kids see and learn

[@AllIwantwasyou1]

That doesn't make him less than im an atheist and my husband is christian. I dont judge people and treat people with respect regardless of who they are. ​@aioaneirebecca534

[@AmericasMama]

I’m faithful, my husband is agnostic and we have 2 kids. This gets very difficult to maintain as the children get older. If the kids have faith, they lose respect for you. Yes, of course, it’s a teaching moment, we respect everyone as people, however these are kids with literal immature brains and literal inability to apply long term reasoning and logic. No matter how mature* they seem, it’s a scientific and medical fact, even teenagers are the equivalent of a brain damaged adult or a highly intoxicated one. Think of anything you are certain of, like the world is round. A child can master live and let live. But they can’t help thinking you’re actually stupid for not believing in God. It’s a certainty, so “of course anyone with half a brain” knows it’s true. Now why would you listen or take advice from someone that believes the world is flat? Would you defer to their opinion on anything? Trust that they know best? It’s not just me, Ive also seen *MULTIPLE* family members with ‘mixed marriages’ that have had the same problem. Somewhere around 12, it starts to fall apart. And yes, it’s torn apart marriages, nearly killed mine, (until he outwardly accepted being called a believer). 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇 Appearance of Maturity comes from a diff place in the brain, the ability to mimic. From day one, we learn language; we learn to smile; we learn to survive. Children are honing this skill from the moment they are born and some are very very good at it. A teenager has all the certainty of a drunk without any of the physical symptoms. They believe they are mature because they act mature. For a child, all it takes is that plus a single adult to reinforce the belief. *** This is 💯 fact and has been documented via MRI and various brain scans. It’s the same part of the brain that plays pretend. If you’ve ever met a child you believed was mature, congrats on being fooled **20+ years background in child psych*

[@rajbeekie7124]

@@aioaneirebecca534 No, she is the religious leader, not the spiritual leader.

[@carterdoering3789]

It's not a big deal until one day out of nowhere she tells you that God told her to break up with you. Laugh at that if you will, but you do run that risk dating women that claim to hear the voice of God.

[@KellyK1000]

3rd Caller: You are going on pure speculation, NOT FACTS! You don't truly know what 's actually going on, you don't know the full story.

[@demgphix]

Personally, I dont care either way. Im not religious, nor am I anti-religious, I just admit I don't know what's going on in our universe 😂 I do wish people on both sides were more accepting of eachother though. If my partner was religious, I would just accept her values and move on.

[@benmyers9030]

The only truly unassailable positions: agnosticism and skepticism. In the words of the dude: "yeah, but that's just, like, your opinion, man."

[@SherriFlemming]

Didferences will create misalignments. Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞

[@ACTIVEsteps33]

The friend with the single mother. Highly likely the father was given full custody by the court.

[@YouMissedBro]

Yeah we are pretending everything the girlfriend said is fact. Every baby mama has an "abusive" ex

[@benmyers9030]

She could only relinquish her rights to the dad if his wife is adopting the kids. Barring that, the only way she lost custody is if a court ruled that's in the children's best interest. In other words, she is the abusive one. But first the caller has to figure out that he's gay, then he can try to process that brain buster.

[@SherriFlemming]

Protecting The Gift by Gavin De Becker Toxic Parents by Susan Forward Divorce Lawyer On Signs Of A Doomed Relationship-James Sexton podcast 🌞

[@MisterNightfish]

It's a little strange that he says he's won the wife lottery but apparently he cannot even talk to her about not sharing the same religious beliefs.

[@drakeisaskinwalker5104]

He implied that he hasn’t even tried so that’s kinda on him and his communication skills

[@SherriFlemming]

These important topics need to be discussed early on during the dating phase. Differences create misalignments. Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. Are You The One For Me Knowing Who Is Right And Who Is Wrong by Barbara De Angelis Marriage Aint For Punks by Calvin Robertson The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver

[@LindleyMatthias]

I’m just like this man’s wife. I SO get this. I am a born-again Christian who lives every day with Jesus Christ at the center. And I have wished (for the past 25 years with my husband) that he would be in love with the Lord too. It’s a huge divide between us. But finally, one day he just looked at me and said forcefully: “I am NOT EVER going to be the spiritual leader of this family or home. I’m NOT. Stop asking me.” And that was about five years ago; and he has not and clearly will not. He goes to church with me, but that’s it. He has no other signs of interest in Jesus Christ, and lives each day devoid of any attempt to know the Lord or to lead the family in a Christian sense. I have accepted that, unwillingly, but still pray for him. I blame myself, really, for my feelings- because I married him knowing that we were unequally yoked. I do focus on trying to make sure my kids know about the Lord. The oldest, who is 22 and in law school, is a devout Christ-follower. He and I talk a lot about the deeper things of Christianity and the Lord. My middle son (19) is just like my husband; he acquiesces regarding church, but has no outward signs of interest in the Christian life. And the youngest (14) goes with us willingly to church, and I talk to her a lot about the Lord, hoping she will recall my love and devotion to the Lord, versus her dad’s indifference. Because, guess what- it matters. It matters more than anything else. “Christianity, if false, is of no importance; and if true, of infinite importance. But one thing it cannot be is moderately important.” - CS Lewis

[@tommym8292]

First caller...did they not have the religion, politics, music, hobby talk BEFORE they got married? Isn't that pretty important stuff to know?

[@williamr4053]

They likely did. They may have been more on the same page or they weren’t and it just wasn’t a bigger sticking point at that time. I’m a boomerang Christian myself. Been back to attending church for the last year, after not attending for 20 years. All church congregation’s have members in various stages of their Christian walk. You can be sitting next to a person that is a new Christian and is all in, while the person on the other side of you has been a Christian their entire life and they are just going through the motions. A relationship with Christ is dependent on that person and the relationship they want personally with Christ. Like the caller stated, his wife is more all in than he is. I wouldn’t even say either of them is wrong, just different viewpoints on how they view their personal relationship with Christ. I have friends who have went through this with their children. Their children didn’t feel as compelled to walk with Christ as their parents. All you can do is pray for them and then pray for yourself to have peace and understanding. You cannot and shouldn’t force someone to be more Christ like, when either they have voiced they aren’t interested or they aren’t ready for that level of devotion in their life.

[@SherriFlemming]

8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. Are You The One For Me Knowing Who Is Right And Who Is Wrong by Barbara De Angelis Marriage Aint For Punks by Calvin Robertson The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver

[@MeemoWawa]

Third caller can’t accept that his friend isn’t the perfect, standup guy he thought he was. His friend is okay dating a woman who abandoned her kids with an allegedly abuse man??? Sure, he can be mad at her, but he should also be mad at his friend for being okay with that.

[@JustActNormal]

Sex is sex

[@MeemoWawa]

@ okay? I’m just saying it makes the friend a bad person for not caring about that.

[@JustActNormal]

@@MeemoWawa if you listen to the whole phone call, this guy is obviously like way too attached to his friend and can't stand the fact that his friend is dating somebody

[@SherriFlemming]

Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞

[@kovuroo]

The conversation of someone being worried that someone else will go to hell or being in fear for someone’s “eternal soul” is weird to me. I believe there’s a god but I don’t practice all the time but I am not in fear of my soul… why is this not considered a mental condition but being transgender is? lol

[@MamaBear-jh7dx]

First caller… He was a CEO. “Christmas & Easter Only.” 😊

[@feyrechihro7247]

God gave us free will to choose, because nothing works without it. Pressuring someone to enact their free will in a direction you want for them takes away the God given gift to choose freely. It feels wrong and won’t get that person to where you want for them, even if it is for their best, and for love. Pray for them and let them be who they choose. God has a plan. Trust that we do not know all of his plan because we cannot. Heaven, hell… I don’t think we can comprehend the intricacy of what it actually is, and trust that God wants us to be healed and in peace. Point being I don’t think we should be in states of fear about someone else’s salvation, because we don’t know what happens after. Explanations of hell in the Bible or otherwise are short and theoretical and very humanly explained. We cannot comprehend it. And we aren’t told everything for a reason. Trust that God will do his best to save them, even in the last moment. It’s a better belief to have either way. Focus on your own peace and relationship with Jesus, this will do more for those around you then any form of pressure or judgement. They will see the peace of God in you and more likely be drawn to it. Like a moth to flame..

[@Oxaca73]

The "Am I the problem" at the end had me cracking up. There are some old songs that I (still) love that I'll admit have really cringey lyrics. I'd never force them on anyone else though or pretend they aren't cringey.

[@mewgiah8057]

Literally don’t marry someone who has drastically different religious/political view points. Even if you truly love the person the massive gaps in personal beliefs will start to erode the relationship over time. Is it possible to marry someone with different religious or political views? Absolutely. But usually in these relationships the person is only casually committed to these beliefs and are therefore not willing to put their relationship below their church/politics. But if your partner deeply believes in anything then don’t date or marry them if you arent on the same page.

[@mommymik3]

I wonder if the wife was like this when they married. Perhaps her faith grew over the years. Either way...I hope they work it out.

[@andsimina7]

well as a Pentecostal I only have one thing to say: "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" That's why I'm not even looking at a boy who is not actively a discipline of Jesus (not just calling himself a 'christian'). You will end up driving him mad by talking about the joy and amazed of who Jesus is. It's impossible to not experience everything and see everything through different lenses once you know that He is real and personal and Almighty and...😂 I can't stop..you see?🤩🥳

[@wonder12374]

3rd caller. None of the things you lolisted about your friends girlfriend is any of your business. You are jealous, and it's a bit toxic. As a friend, if your friend is ok with their relationship, you either have to be ok with it or leave if you can stand to witness certain things. Also, if your friend keeps complaining, but going back, there comes a point when you have to place a boundary with his friend to say if you are going to stay, i can not keep hearing the same complaints. Period.

[@SherriFlemming]

Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞

[@pammy5260]

I never understand how religion plays such a big part of daily life for some people. Just have your own thoughts and beliefs and get on with ur day. You have to work and make time for people and pay bills and sort things out, who the heck is thinking so much about this everyday?

[@Nonya12608]

John, it's not your friend's place to decide what is the condition, position, fate of your soul. That they think it is, is why people who aren't into their theology can't stand them. It's not appreciated, no matter what their motivation.

[@megzipperer7645]

It's not the friends decision, but being a good friend means to warn people when they are going somewhere bad. Like for exemple, with a potencial alcoholic, if the friend notices that they are drinking a little too much and more often then usual, a GOOD friend should say something. But in the end, yes, you are correct, the decision is not in the friend's hand.

[@theshunnedBandersnatch]

​@@megzipperer7645 With an alcoholic like in your example, the consequences are tangible. The OP (and first caller) are talking about intangible _potential_ consequences of not believing in a god who may not even exist.

[@dannelle17]

A great comedian (their name is lost on me) once said “Man, if you really believe that I’m going to hell and burning forever it would be F***ED UP to NOT try to convert me” 😂

[@SherriFlemming]

Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞

[@holly1741]

LOVE the Avett Brothers ❤

[@KidCity1985]

She is a very lucky woman.

[@LisaLisa-in4vw]

Surely this would have come up in conversation before getting married?

[@DadsChannel-gx3zj]

It did and he went along with her.. kept kicking the can down the road and telling her “some day”

[@icedtea4me575]

Kelly!! 😂😂 That made me laugh out loud!!

[@MichaelAnderson-wk1no]

I'm curious to see the nature of this "disagreement." i.e. is it something major or minor? If it's something major, that obviously should have come up long before marriage.

[@BirdDogey1]

Same. Doubtful it is over eschatology.

[@Sara-x6t3s]

This is a major disagreement. One that would no doubt result in the dissolution of a marriage. A Faithful woman could not continue in a "marriage" to a nonbeliever. I certainly could not.

[@erikak128]

​@Sara-x6t3s Where in the Bible does it say it's ok to leave a marriage over this? It's only allowed if there's adultery. Sorry but you can't pick and choose if you're truly faithful to your religion.

[@emrk6517]

If this man's wife is unable to stop trying to convert him, at some point it will become mentally unhealthy for him to stay in her presence. I could never go to church let alone Bible study when I don't believe, and when I don't have any questions regarding religion. It would be hypocritical and a torturous experience, having to listen to them drone on when I have no interest and disagree with their ideas. I would never in a million years have a relationship with a religious person.

[@Sara-x6t3s]

@emrk6517 that's good, being honest can prevent so much needless suffering. It's a shame this man couldn't have had the same amount of respect and consideration for his wife that he supposedly loves.

[@taylor-sanchez]

Caller three is clearly in love with his best friend haha

[@clovemartin]

I was raised Pentecostal (speaking in tongues/whole nine yards). I don't think this marriage will work out. You need to be honest with her so she doesn't get her hopes up. You're not religious. Going to church with her a few times a year won't help anything until she sees you speaking in tongues and getting baptized in Jesus name. If you know that won't happen, end the marriage ASAP!!!

[@Shortkonner]

I've been educated. I now admit i dont know.... i'm agnostic. I've been a hardcore athiest. Like throwing away bibles.... that was wrong. If it works for you, enjoy yourself. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so mad. Love my partner. ❤

[@yvie9627]

Exactly why you should not marry outside of your religious beliefs. It is a foundational belief and should be fully compromised (converted on one side) or not at all compromised (not join in union). They should have discussed it before hand.

[@SherriFlemming]

Indeed. These important conversations are essential early on in the dating phase. Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞

[@bethkennedy2191]

When you give your wedding valves, you say to your partner till death do we part so you don’t have to worry about them being your eternal partner because that’s not the way it’s going to work at death you will part. So your wife doesn’t need to worry about you being her eternal partner because there’s no such thing

[@jjkatz]

I could never be with a religious fanatic, ugh.

[@benhughes4493]

as to the first caller 2 Corinthians 6:14 in Other Translations 14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness?

[@Evan.280]

As a Christian there’s no way I’d ever marry an atheist or a non Christian. It’s just fundamentally impossible if one side refuses to hear what you have to say. It’s no different than politics in a way. If you’re a staunch conservative dating a staunch liberal and neither of you agree on anything. Then it isn’t worth it. Glad he loved his wife, but he should be open like he is now

[@thedavesiknow4598]

@@Evan.280 there are plenty of mixed marriages that listen to what each other has to say. It depends on the people and if they actually love each other for who they are, not their beliefs.

[@alondrazapata4973]

As an atheist I agree, I cannot date someone religious bc it’s a fundamental difference that we couldn’t ever look past. I know some people could make it work but I know for myself it’s not something I could adjust or be flexible on.

[@thedavesiknow4598]

@alondrazapata4973 absolutely. Each person really needs to examine if they can truly make that work.

[@jjkatz]

As a critical thinker I could never date someone so brainwashed by religion they can’t accept not everyone believes the same thing they believe.

[@SherriFlemming]

Differences will create misalignments. 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies Are You The One For Me Knowing Who Is Right And Who Is Wrong by Barbara De Angelis Marriage Aint For Punks by Calvin Robertson The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞

[@Haleh1]

First caller: Why do you like this woman? Shes not a good fit for you. You can't be yourself with her.

[@pattytramonto3103]

Wow....um, you're guilting this guy into religion. Ugh.

[@melanieb2132]

No.. he's not. How did you get that. .he said you can attend church or not.. it's pretty much like attending a concert you don't like. Idk. He could make her happy a few times a year by attending. What would it hurt?

[@mommymik3]

Agree...they whole concept that she has anxiety about where he will go when he's dies seems controlling to me. We have free will for a resson. It just seems manipulative.

[@themiddleones11]

​@mommymik3 as someone with Fundamentalist Christian family that I know feels the same. This is exactly what I had to do, and it's the same advice secular advocates have on this issue. It's a calculus on what you're able to deal with. I know my family thinks I'm going to hell because of my beliefs and I know what it's like because I was just like that, I go to church every now and again to appease them because our relationship is more important than either of our beliefs.

[@heidikarpa2278]

Aren’t ministry people classed as mandatory reporters in many states? Why no questions about if they’re kids? Or did I miss that? This woman’s ministry response was disappointing and disheartening.

[@Drumbeat52]

If I saw here talking in tongues, she wouldn't see me again!

[@lucasshill8780]

​​be equally yoked before marriage christians please

[@ethan4048]

Got to support each other‘s mental illness

[@Mindsetolympics]

Its so hard when men are hardly real Christians😂

[@Sara-x6t3s]

​@@Mindsetolympicsexactly! Hard to believe how John and this caller trivialize the importance of Faith on this call.

[@thedavesiknow4598]

People deconstruct.

[@Sara-x6t3s]

​@@ethan4048that's the point, to avoid those with mental illnesses. Precisely why Christians are called to partner with other Faithful Christians.

[@d_sharon_design]

John, you & your wife need to find Billy Strings.

[@carnivoreRon]

Those Christian denominations exist in my area. She may leave him because if he communicates his ideas she may determine they are 'unequally' yoked together. But he needs to talk to her.

[@akilahj2252]

whew that first caller i can kind of related to i just got into a relationship with a guy but i have been having convictions about pre-marital sex .. he believes in God but i don't think he is that far in his walk and i am worried because i feel like there's a potential i may have to lose one of the healthiest relationships i have been involved in but im worried about the fornication.

[@Sara-x6t3s]

I've seen this go incredibly wrong so many times. Terribly so, when people are dishonest about who they are and what they believe. I certainly couldn't be intimately connected to a man who did this. I hope his wife feels differently because I wouldn't be able to continue the relationship. He actually seems to think that her beliefs are just trivial or something. What makes him think that she wants anything to do with a nonbeliever? The betrayal of marrying someone you believe is a Faithful man only to learn later that he does not even believe in the basic testaments let alone the corner stones. That would be an obstacle that would definitely make a marriage difficult. Of course that's just for me, I certainly could not respect a man who kept this a secret, like this man did. No way would I consent to any sort of intimacy with a nonbeliever, it simply wouldn't be a possibility.

[@Zach-o6v]

The guy upset by his "best friends" decision sounds more like he's in love with the guy and jealous/upset the friend likes a woman instead of him. It's super weird and cringy the way he's talking.

[@lsgsrob2102]

“How do I tell my wife” Well, simple. You’re a man. Act like it and just tell her straight up, no sugar coating, just tell her. Also, why would you marry someone who you’re not aligned with religion wise? Im not religious nor do I care if people are but I would never marry someone if it’s something serious like this that you differ on.

[@rajbeekie7124]

Plain and simple, the wife is defensive when presented with an opposing view.

[@KathyM1611]

Wow, guy married a pentecostal and gets upset about her not liking profanity, nudity and talking about God. This is sad.

[@zachwarren280]

Vengance for P-Nut!

[@ACTIVEsteps33]

Last caller’s friend is going to get that single mother knocked up and then she will monkey branch to the next simp. And he will he expected to pay for her other kids too.

[@trevoncampbell2744]

Sounds like the wife could've greatly benfitted from reading and following 2 Corinthians 6:14 (NIV) before marrying that guy: 14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial[a]? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

[@musselmanmedia5236]

should have been one of the first things you talked about when dating....

[@JessicaGarcia-v6b]

My personality is just like his wife 😂

[@YouMissedBro]

Simping for a 20 year old single mom that bad is nuts....dude find a new friend and move on. You only knew him for a year

[@身赤-w3w]

About the song thing... If I said anything like that my boyfriend would say I'm abusive. Actually if i said anything at all. What is this about? He does this with many other things... Does anyone know why he says this? I don't think it's abusive btw. But I feel guilty.

[@BirdDogey1]

Edit: He is a cultural christian which means not. She is correct to worry about his soul. He is on his way to damnation. Not because of music and movies. Because he isnt trusting in Christ. She is a devout Pentacostal. This is a bad mix. She wants to know he is saved out of love. He doesnt care. 1st post to follow. Having not yet heard the call I will offer some brief thoughts. Don't marry someone with whom you have significant theological disagreements. If you are married and one of you have changed their view then you should pray for them and reconciliation. If one of you abandons their faith then their are serious questions to be answered. Child rearing requires some agreement on matters of religious upbringing.

[@swarringimj]

I agree.. Theological disagreements are a deal breaker for me. An imaginary friend or enemy is where I draw the line.

[@TheSgkerr123]

If one partner realises there is no god, then they don’t need your prayers. Your response suggests there is something wrong with someone for not believing in an imaginary being. I’d say the person that still believes has the problem, and should really answer the question: which of these “gods” exist? There are thousands apparently. If “god” exists, of course I’m talking about your god, not those other gods, why do priests constantly get prosecuted for child abuse? What sort of “god” condones that? Especially as they are “his” representatives. Why do kids, or in fact anyone, get cancer? Really think deep then answer them. Seen the light yet? Pun intended.

[@TheSgkerr123]

P.s. forcing your child to believe a certain way is also questionable

[@charityc1322]

When I married my husband, he was a Christian. About 10 yrs. ago, he decided he didn't want to attend church anymore. From there, it was a slippery slope, and now he's mute on anything concerning his previous faith. I take the children to church by myself and strive to raise my children in the Lord. I've heard this new term called " church hurt" being passed around. He's not "church hurt," just disinterested, which I see as falling away.

[@williamjohn8633]

@@charityc1322 i quit attending church. I've learned that churches are just very feminine social clubs. The first 15 minutes of church was singing, followed by a sermon that was never engaging or stimulating. It's all emotional language, definitely not a place for men

[@MariMarTrades]

IDK how people get married to people that don't share the same faith as them if they know it's important. In this day in time you REALLY gotta be careful with the whole "maybe God can use me to convert them" mindset (especially for Christian women). Just not a good idea in general.

[@VaughnOlonaUnfiltered]

You both do not need to talk about religion . Religion is just a word. Being a good person and being nice to others doesn’t require having religion or talking about it. There’s so many horrible people that are “religious” . It’s just a word . you both should be able to talk about anything without any feelings towards it. Both people are very emotional . Just live your marriage everyday eat , make love. Enjoy each others company. It’s simple. Talking about religion is not going to change your relationship. Even if you both were on the same page with religion. Your relationship is your relationship. People call themselves Christian’s and go to church every Sunday. But treat each other badly and others they know. Forget religion and just be good people you’ll be okay

[@thedavesiknow4598]

@@VaughnOlonaUnfiltered yes! Well.said

[@__________f9433]

“Just be good people”. Such a shallow and pointless statement. Good person based on what standard??? Cause what’s good to an atheist is very subjective among themselves and amongst other religious people.

[@thedavesiknow4598]

@__________f9433 some people are good without needing a god to tell them to be.

[@mkl2237]

Try just communicating: talking and listening.

[@jasonhughes5329]

Shout out to the 336

[@Naijella86]

I am a Christian and I go to Church but I’m not overly religious so I am happy to date Christians from other denominations except the FLDS, the LDS and maybe the seventh day adventists and the Jehovahs Witnesses, too. That would be a wild can of worms to open. Dating someone who is Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist or Hindu would be out of the question as well but I could date an atheist/agnostic as long as they wouldn’t mind that i would be taking the children to church and I would expect them to attend Services occasionally especially if it was important to any children we had

[@wbae1340]

lol yo sound like a lot of

[@jjkatz]

Must be awful to be so closed minded

[@Naijella86]

@@jjkatz why would I welcome such conflict into my life?

[@FromJosephtoJesus]

@@Naijella86Yes, that’s why in the Bible, God counsels Christ’s followers to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, as conflict and sorrow are sure to come in such unions. 2 Corinthians 6:14 So, marriage to agnostics or atheists should not happen, either, as they don’t believe in God, while the non-Christian denominations you mentioned worship a form of god that’s in open conflict with the Old and New Testament.

[@inkompetenzkompensationsko4188]

His wife sounds like a child sorry😂

[@alistacramen9799]

Sounds like the guy is just jealous. And a bit clingy

[@flsupraguy]

Good luck. Once someone is brainwashed by religion there is almost no hope.....

[@suzanne296]

This guy needs to accept the truth. He isn't go take your advice

[@fauxbro1983]

Should have been worjed before the wedding

[@bry8500]

So creepy to believe something that has no evidence. Your partner your partner can just make up anything and say you have to believe this.

[@trevoncampbell2744]

You believe in the existance of natural creations without a creator. Where the hell is the evidence for that?

[@bry8500]

@ if you’re saying that rocks don’t actually exist, then we disagree.

[@trevoncampbell2744]

@@bry8500 Not sure how you came to that conclusion. Natural creations don't exist with a creator.

[@bry8500]

@ there’s no evidence of a creator. If something doesn’t have evidence, it doesn’t exist. you can’t argue for something that has no evidence. There’s no mechanism to do it.

[@trevoncampbell2744]

@@bry8500 The evidence is in the fact that nothing in the world has appeared out of thin air. You see a painting and what is that evidence for? The existence of a painter.

[@snowdogmula]

God doesn’t exist. We live then die. Deal with it.

[@theburdnerd]

She just loves her husband and wants to make sure he knows where he is going when he dies. He doesn't need to go to church, "do all types of things", he just needs to believe what she's telling him. She loves him and wants him in heaven.

[@Nonya12608]

Would you feel it appropriate and loving if he was constantly forcing her to defend her beliefs? Why does she get a pass, because it's Christianity?

[@theburdnerd]

She gets a pass because even the husband admits she’s not naggy and understands she’s doing it out of love. She’s not being unreasonable giving ultimatums, even the caller recognizes that.

[@kunle9]

​@@Nonya12608He wants the benefits of a wife that is a believer but doesn't want to be a believer himself.

[@cyrenedomogalla5127]

​@@kunle9 What does that mean? What benefit are you referring to?

[@lucasshill8780]

Christ is God buddy.

[@stevendavis5095]

What if he isn’t though lol. Like it’s a possibility that Jesus was just a man. A God fearing man but just a man

[@lucasshill8780]

@@stevendavis5095 who else could be god

[@iamastrangeloop9204]

People have different beliefs and different religions and that is okay. Christ is your g-d.

[@iSlayKrakens]

You notice how Dr never forces his religion on others in the conversations? Never says things like “Christ is ____.” It’s because statements like that, mean nothing to someone who doesn’t believe. It just makes them more annoyed of the followers of the religion. Dr approaches it with compassion and empathy. Ironic that most people who follow an All-Loving God don’t know how to love.

[@Sarasarah3]

@@iamastrangeloop9204God*

[@JessicaGarcia-v6b]

3rd caller, grow up!!!

[@mombythesea2426]

The problem with compromising over religion is that so much of Christianity is about NOT compromising with the world. I don’t allow certain entertainment genres in my home because they are full of worldly, sinful ideas. There are things I believe that I simply won’t compromise on because my faith requires me to submit to God, not people. There are many things that aren’t hard black and white issues, but for the things that are, I’m not compromising.

[@sbccave4015]

your wife doesn't want you to go to hell you should probably make sure your not going there.

[@No-Proof-of-God1988]

Provide proof that hell exists instead of making baseless claims. Anyone can make similar unsupported assertions. For instance, I could just as easily say your wife doesn’t want you to go to a parallel universe in the 6th dimension where you spend eternity in anguish, but without evidence, it holds no weight its just crazy talk.

[@wbae1340]

So is the guy not religious in that he has put A LOT of work in research, reading, praying, thinking, and has come to a decision that it’s something he doesn’t believe, or is he just doing the easy thing and saying “nah I don’t believe it just cause” Those are 2 very different things

[@alyssaboyle2187]

Why should he have to try to convince himself of anything? He knows his own mind. Like the music he enjoys.

[@SchelDiva103]

He’s blessed to have a wife that cares this much about the eternity of his soul. But she can’t save him. Hopefully he gets it

[@laurad.h8399]

The word is supposed to make you uncomfortable, it challenges you to change. If we didn't need change we wouldn't need the bible...Lukewarm Christians aren't pleasing and God says he will spew you out. He doesn't want to hear the truth from his wife because he's convicted and it would mean change and effort from him

[@RPisa2416]

Aaaaaaaannnnndddd

[@CurtMortis]

Why do so many people pretend to believe in religion ? Do they just like it? I have never been convinced that supposed religious people actually have real belief in these things. And this is talking all religions, and there are many.

[@alyssaboyle2187]

There was a time in my life as a teenager when I really wanted to believe. I wanted to be awash with the love for all beings that Chrisianity promises. I lasted 6 months before the dogma turned me off. I was into new age spirituality in my 40s, but have since pulled back from all of it. I really love mysteries and science and searching for meaning, plus I love the feelings of euphoria and peace that can come with certain practices. Now I'm less motivated to find all the answers and get to the next "level." I just do my best to enjoy my time here on earth. As a human embracing all of it.

[@zachwarren280]

Was Dr Delony a paid guest speaker at a KH rally?🤔

[@Four3zero]

Absolutely not. He's a white male. However, he was most likely in the crowd

[@luckymrsmurray5219]

What is a KH rally?

[@AmorYMigas]

Kamala Harris? Why do you ask?

[@YouMissedBro]

Never heard that

[@shanchan8247]

Does it matter? He's not talking politics here. I voted for Trump and I like his show. And I dare say there are people who voted for him that aren't Christians. Many things can be true at once and people are allowed to have their political opinions without bringing them up at every chance.

[@goose4284]

Unequally yoked!!!! She should have never married him.

[@CrystalM1917]

Wow this is the exact comment i made!

[@OliviaVânân]

Your videos are a shining example of how to make quality and interesting content. Thank you for your talent and effort!🛹👺🌔

[@SchelDiva103]

He’s blessed to have a wife that cares this much about the eternity of his soul. But she can’t save him. Hopefully he gets it soon