I Feel Like I’m So Behind in Life

[@Vaelin94]

I'm a 30 year old man, about for years I felt alone in a rooms full of people that were supposed to be there for me, I had a dead end job, no education, I had been with the love of my life for 8 years and she left. Everywhere I looked in my city there were bittersweet memories that hurt me to look at, and fake friends/family I couldn't be around any longer. I needed out. Over years of suffering like this, I thought my only way out of this painful loop was to take my own life. On my way home to do that, my sister called. I told her what I was suffering with, and she invited me to come live with her. That weekend I packed my bags on hit the road. I drove from Kentucky to Washington state, 2500 miles away from the painful life that was tormenting me. The reason I wanted to share this with y'all is this: your environment can tear you down, it can make you feel empty, it can turn people against you, and it will turn yourself against you. When I arrived in Washington however, I was initially disappointed. "Why am I still depressed?", "Why do I still feel like strangers everywhere are judging me?", I started asking all these questions, and eventually I realized one thing: Wherever you go, you carry your scars with you. It took me over a year to even START to address my pain, being away from Kentucky did help substantially, but what really made the difference was reconnecting with God, and finding some good friends. I can promise you this, life is tough and brutal, but there are many people out there who will love you, and cherish you no matter what. You've gotta hang in there until you find them, or they find you.

[@audrey1258]

I'm proud of you!🩷🩷🩷

[@ivacvrk5558]

I'm so happy for you! ❤

[@seemakaur-mk9ip]

Thanks for sharing your story. Hope you were able to find a better job in Washington.

[@MrFunnyPatriotsUNC]

Incredible anecdote. Thank you for taking the time and sharing. That's the magic of life: finding those kindred spirits who make you a better version of yourself than you ever could on your own. But at the same time, it makes one desire to look inward, and it subsequently facilitates easier evolution whilst in the company of those who love them, because we're all there for each other in this life.

[@saras4928]

Thank you.

[@ellenko2684]

Shes making good living and finished college. It's all about perspective, she's doing a lot better than most.

[@Liz-td3zs]

It has nothing to do with perspective…that’s comparing yourself to others. What satisfies the majority may not be what makes her happy. She has to find what’s right for her, release herself from past hurts and expectations of others. Some of us walk our own path, refusing to be conditioned and controlled by the majority and society.

[@Mmmmkaaay]

Money and education are important, but means little without passion and direction.

[@nichellekmalvous6688]

@@Liz-td3zsdamn. i needed to read that.

[@LisaLisa-in4vw]

Sometimes a move away, a fresh start, is what you need in life.

[@SeekAfterGod]

I did it

[@LisaLisa-in4vw]

@@SeekAfterGod me too, at the age of 50!

[@sandyn3384]

100% agree. I'm going to. Just need 6 months, my car is cherry then, and off I go

[@siegfriedbraun5447]

...and sometimes it's just running away

[@LisaLisa-in4vw]

@siegfriedbraun5447 depends on your perspective

[@V31lCl0ud]

Shoutout to everyone here trying to make their lives better. Keep it up, y’all.

[@sarahj978]

OMG. I wanna hug this girl. The journey to feel confident in yourself can be so hard. And yet so rewarding. My parents passed away and I didn’t realize how much I counted on their validation. Finding that validation in myself was painful, and freeing. You got this Rachel!

[@NavigatingKatie]

I feel like this and I’m 33. Life is hard, yet it’s also so beautiful. You’re right on time, exactly where you’re meant to be. Social media makes comparing so easy, and we can be so hard on ourselves. We wouldn’t talk to our loved ones the way we talk to ourselves. Our struggles can become our greatest gifts. Your happiness and peace may look different than it does for others, and that’s perfect. Big hug to Rachel and everyone

[@jill9606]

23 is so, so hard, sweetheart! It’s the time where people truly start to go their own paths and it’s such a transitional time! I was struggling to find my way in my career at 23, single, back in my hometown with my high school and college friends all in different cities from me. It was so lonely and hard for me during that time! You have to forge your own path and pour into yourself for those mid twenties years until you really come into yourself. You deserve to love yourself through the process.

[@PaUu912806]

I agree! It is among the most though age...

[@BruceReyes-nh9cu]

You are not alone,

[@suzanne296]

I struggle im trying to make peace at 62. Girl your so young.

[@blaircrace1593]

🫂

[@rubyjohnson9880]

You got this Rachel, ❤sending you good vibes and praying for you beautiful

[@manoftomorrow5987]

I moved countries and was starting over. I came off social media, cut friends off and focused on my career, life and fiancé who my now wife. Now our lives are where we want it to be and I’ve stayed to myself and stopped looking at people’s lives and comparing myself and it also helps that I remind myself that we all have our own battles nobody’s life is perfect. Focus on you and set individual targets and just try to be better than you were yesterday. You are your own benchmark…nobody else

[@hsaid3263]

As a young adult This is the most relatable episode so far and I watch a lot of these. ❤ Thanks Dr. John

[@banana_hammock7158]

I was haunted by these same things.. really bad in my 20’s and 30’s.. seemed like everyone was doing way more than me

[@alfacentauri3686]

Don't compare with others, just compare with your previous self. You are allowed choose, to change your mind and go another way.

[@teenyverse7707]

I started growing when I stopped comparing and concentrating on myself... get off social media and stop comparing.

[@ThirumahalS]

Great advice! Ty for sharing

[@akramdinzly7777]

Exactly 👍🏻

[@Mmmmkaaay]

Yes! I deleted all my social media on January 1st and I've never felt so calm and centered in my life.

[@AprilDelRosario]

“Wherever you go, there you are.” I’m taking notes on this one!! Such good wisdom & so relatable!

[@Violet._.PhoeniX]

Dr John just again delivering!!! Healing the world one person at a time❤ And::::: I think that American young people need to get out more! Take a gap year and go backpack around Europe and Asia and Africa and go and see the world and get out of your heads! It will help you have a way more healthy perspective on life!! 🧬 🌎

[@Bdog6223]

Do not compare yourself. Even to the person you thought you’d be because life isn’t lived in your head. Life is lived where your feet are.. Besides, the more I learn about what society wants from me the more I lean the other way. Focus on what God wants from us.. if at any point you have it all figured out in life, that is when you stop growing and start dying. Life is about the journey, not the destination.

[@fatimaperez5383]

Feeling the same way.. just finished college last year and doing a minimum wage job, and just stuck completely

[@carolinehedqvist2612]

Did John just mention Rollo May?! Geeee I love him even more.

[@melissaward7341]

Rachel, I appreciate you being vulnerable to share this with John and I'm in my late 30s I been feeling like this. Thank you for your insight, John and some of the comments listed as well...this help me put it in perspective cause this has been me lately especially after my daughter is away at college and next year my doctor I work for is retiring and I question my worth and the struggles of my long distance relationship if its worth it anymore. So your not alone, in what your going through and John thank you for putting it in perspective everything is data.

[@Cyblps]

There is nothing wrong with you!!! You are only 23. Way to go!

[@santafilipina9020]

A healthy self-perception anchors you. It truly does. All the crap she’s experiencing is just manifestations of how she perceives herself.

[@angechu9945]

I had the same experience. Covid hit hard and like I was suffering from acne and depression. I'm over 23 y/o and still don't know what I want to do in life.

[@Highwayhoney1]

Girl I’m going to turn 23 in Dec and I dropped out of the University of Texas at Austin, got divorced, got out of the navy reserves and I’m in 8k debt with no college degree or a car. I moved 4 times after 18 and have a toxic family. We live and learn but eventually I plan on getting my life back

[@the_key_x]

Best thing to do when you feel this way is to watch a video about the size of the universe, realize how small we are and how great and lucky we are to be here. Success looks different to everyone.

[@erickapoletti2053]

Yeah married for 32 years (married at 20). Three grown kids and for the first time all by myself. Toxic extended family on my side except for brother(a whole different story). Never been on my own ever. Divorced two months ago. I have a career for 10 years after being a SAHM FOR 20 years. I'm lost. Seeing a therapist. New phase and totally lost. Just going through the motions of living-working and no social life really. It's hard and still navigating.

[@sophiewillett2466]

Things dont stay the same forever it WILL get better. Kudos to you for starting everything new and doing it. 💪💪💪

[@chilloften]

Earth schooling, carry on. We’re all in this together.

[@DCornwell-d2t]

Everywhere you go, there you are. Rachel, take Dr. D's advice and deal with what's eating you. Don't wait until you're 50. Move to beautiful CO and love your life. The world needs kind, thoughtful, hardworking people like you. You're not behind; you're ahead in so many ways. I'm rooting for you🎉

[@gracerules2008]

Falling behind is only in the eye of the beholder. If you live your life according to what someone else prefers and you are not happy then you are failing in your eyes. My lifestyle preferences will be different than others.

[@tagaway6173]

Rachel, is either going to get better or worse. And it is all up to you. I wish you the best.

[@cheydrouin12]

I needed to see and hear this today… thank you to the caller and Dr.Delony 4:06

[@lillyt9753]

Wow! This message came at such a perfect time! Been needing guidance and feeling ready to leave everything behind too. 💜

[@FreeAgent797]

What kind of an icecream shop pays there employees 66k a year? That's pretty good money for her age to be honest.

[@tagaway6173]

Probably one in downtown Philadelphia, in a rich area. I think most of the customers are rich people which makes herself judge her life even more. Family, friends, post games kids, etc. She probably sees "happy people" all day and compare her happiness to them.

[@deanwitt7903]

Live your life on your terms . The only people who have a negative opinion on your life have issues in their own .

[@JUNKJACKZACK]

Turning 23 was like moving up to sophmore year of high school. Everyone including yourself really changes. My friend group has already shifted I am working a new career. I had to move for work. Its a transitionary period. I am just grateful that Jesus has had my life for a long time he has calmed a lot of that storm.

[@jenniferremy7854]

You are not alone. I pictured my life to be way better and not be where I'm at right now. I compare my life to others in social media. I'm still working on loving me and figuring out what makes me happy. And I'm 36! Went into bad relationships and now have 5 kids....Life is complex. Some days are good/happy and some days are sad and hard.💔❤️

[@FahimehNamileh]

I am in my late 30s. Sometimes life is just so scary. I feel so alone at times. I haven’t figured it out either. Changed countries once, about to change careers for the fourth times. Almost never been in a loving caring relationship. Life just gets tough at times and I'm so scared of the future.

[@WalrusesAreTheOne]

I have autism and mental illnesses. I'm 35 and see no future ahead. This was relatable

[@floydestelle6242]

Rachel, 23 years old, you are just getting started, don't compare yourself to others! Be happy where you are, smell the roses, it's hard to get started today! Things will look a lot different two years from now! Set some achievable goals.

[@Samcarshow]

Thank you for everything you do

[@PaUu912806]

Oh, poor babe! I feel you and I feel for you! Colleage degree is not as important as the society makes us believe. Might not be even a little bit relevant for your life journey. Your gifts and value does not rely in a degree! I am telling you this because I have many degrees, but they don't warm my soul or make me feel better about myself. So try figuring out what is your gift, what do you want to leave in the world and focus on that, make that happen!

[@mirlesrancel6770]

We tent to feel lost in life… looking and comparing ourselves. The beauty of contentment in life on what we have at the moment… Look at things through a different lenses ❤.. I believe she is killing it as a manager without a degree… She is a leader and from their she can build.

[@cowgirlcandice833]

This is me. Mum was suppose to adopt me as a baby then choose to keep me. Then gave me to friends family to raise until I was about 6. Now im 40 and I still have abandonment issues. I always attract men that won't commit and I let them stick around cause I never feel ill meet anyone better. I just never feel good enough and it's horrible. The one's who want me I don't want but the one's that don't want me I want. Now I have to take care of my mother cause she can't take care of herself. I will die alone and it's a sad reality.

[@alluringbliss4165]

You have to stop thinking you need a man to be happy. I had abandonment issues to and every man I chose was in love with their exes. I looked within and realized I come from a very dysfunctional household and my expectations as well as self esteem were very low. I am working on me. It's the first step to freedom. Praying is important also.

[@d20a55]

I’m in my mid-30’s with a bachelor’s degree and I’m making ~$67k. I think she’s doing really good considering her age and education!

[@tajakjejtam]

I didn't listen yet, but I do feel the same. Many people do, if you think about it. I try to fix whatever I can fix, moving forward one step ahead, and rest of it is in Gods hands.

[@DoniaBellydance]

I’m in my 50’ and have been at the same job for 30 years and make less than this 23 yr old. Now I’m depressed 😖😭😫

[@thatsfunny2051]

I'm 34 and I feel exactly the same way. No husband, no kids, no house, no job, no confidence -- life is nothing like the way I thought it would be. Nothing.

[@CynthiaSteele-o2g]

Dear, dear Person… my heart aches for you. Have you ever thought about getting to know your creator, Jesus Christ? He knows your hurting and so wants to hear from you…. He’s waiting.. Try to get your hands on a Bible and read the gospel of John. I’m praying for you right now…❤❤❤

[@socialglitch2663]

I understand

[@Gabster1990]

When i was 23, I went through a break up, started losing friends, had to move back with my parents and went back to school. I have since then meet new cool people, got a job that pays decently and have my own house now.

[@suen5006]

Right after college was tough because I had accomplished all of the plans I had made, and there was a sense of "now what?" I couldn't figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. I did a lot of temporary office work for awhile, which taught me how to quickly get on my feet in a number of different environments without extensive commitment.

[@Kyri33leison]

This is so relatable

[@hillmeli]

At 23 I was parting in the weekends and had a full time job at Target. I learned ALOT about myself, that I was a really hard worker, but didn't want responsibility. All my close friends were in college and would come to town for the holidays and ask me why I wasn't in art school with all my talent. Why wasn't I? Because my mind and heart were not ready. Yeah! I did feel lost, and I felt like I wasn't living up to my potential. Hey! At 24, went to school, became a teacher for 10 years...and graduated with honors and part of a sorority. YOU WILL FIND YOUR WAY. Just be patient and explore the things you are curious about in terms of your gifts and talents or likes.

[@sirahgale]

4 cats is a green flag, John. 😎

[@betsyveritas1055]

You're very young. Give yourself a break. There is no figuring it out. Just pay attention to your real reactions to everything & allow them. Be yourself. You'll learn to love yourself overtime. It's ok-relax. Everything will be fine. If you don't feel like being with other people, be alone, but be true to you. Love to you❤

[@BruceReyes-nh9cu]

Manage emotions, love your self

[@justinray9579]

Praying for you Rachel!

[@joshrees1591]

When you no longer care what others think or compare yourself to other people, life gets so much more enjoyable. Rachel is just young, she’s just needs to live. At her age I was going to strip clubs with a bag of cocaine. 😂. I didn’t grow up until I was like 35 y/o

[@manoftomorrow5987]

I grew up at 32. Stopped comparing myself and focused on me. 5 years later I’m good.

[@MiaStayingCreative]

Just turned 35 and I feel like I’m finally growing up as well. I feel you! 💯

[@ryanutterback]

$66,000 a year at an ice cream shop!? I gotta drop out of college!

[@mellowbirddreamer77]

And you're gonna drop that neck. She's a sugar baby. Ain't no way she's making 66k annually just scooping flavored cow tittie milk into a cone. There's more she's leaving out

[@9liveslisa]

I was making $66k after 42 years of working! lol! $66k in an ice cream shop is awesome!

[@Camryyn.s]

The title is the most relatable I’ve ever heard.

[@joanlovelace7338]

You can not run away from yourself. It's like running away from your shadow. She needs a good Psychologist, she even sounds down.

[@floydestelle6242]

Rachel make a year plan, save to make the move, decide where you want to move, move during the summer so you can camp until you get a good job, then see the future you want!

[@josephcarlson7276]

In my opinion, she is living life! She is taking risks. Now just transition to stability. Sounds like she just wants stability and I understand that. She’s got a ton of time ahead of her and who cares what other people are doing!

[@JamesDalpe]

Dumb statement but I kind of wonder if she’s got low iron. Reminds me of a few women I know who’ve had it and whose lives were changed by iron infusions

[@blueskies4414]

Not dumb. A nutrient deficiency or low hormone levels (thyroid/estrogen/progesterone, etc) can make you feel absolutely sad and aimless.

[@MrTmenzo]

Or just too emotional and will start crying if she sees a pigeon grooming itself.

[@Antonioblogs305]

Minute 4:07 of the show and I resonate with this woman in every level possible… I feel like I’m stuck in one stage of my life where I can’t get past therefore I can’t seem to move. I feel like I’m stuck and I’m just behind in life!!!!

[@storageyoucanwatch5161]

It’s possible she was just going through the motions of what she thought she was ‘supposed to do’. At 23 I was graduated from college and working in my career for 3 years, bought a home, had a relationship and a dog and felt SO LOST! I had accomplished the accomplishments and didn’t understand why I wasn’t fulfilled. It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t until I found air sports that I ‘found my people’. Found a lifestyle that felt right. I make waay less money and live in my camper, but this was a CHOICE I made for MY happiness. Not to fit societal norms. Many family and friends don’t understand my choice and don’t agree with it. However, I’m not living my life for THEM. Take the time to figure out what it is you DO want. If it’s not what you were taught it takes a LOT of work to figure it out. But at 23, time is on your side. TRY EVERYTHING! Don’t tie yourself down until you find what sets your soul on fire. Otherwise you’ll never be happy achieving goals that weren’t even really yours in the first place.

[@roro41984]

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

[@sandyn3384]

I SO understand how she feels. All I can say is that I've learned that comparison is the death of joy. I'm also gonna pack up and leave this town and start over. Im sick of being sick and tired. Nothing works out. No job, romance or friendship. Covid F*CKED me and lost everything. I want to live a quiet life, I want to be by myself amd my plants and amimals. I'm older now, I don't want drama, trauma or extra responsibility. I just don't want to make myself tired with persuing things that doesn't want to stay in my life. She's still young, there's hope for her. I was young, I had the excitement, the parties, friends and romance. I should just be grateful for that and move on.

[@DMuvvy]

I feel this way and I’m 61!!🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[@AieMem67]

Same here dropped out of college , same here I have had alot of people leave in ny life too

[@TheRay1227]

It’s hard to feel this way since this way and I get, since the invention of social media.

[@andsimina7]

I feel the same sometimes at 32😂 you're not alone

[@missruth26]

Omg she earns HOW MUCH?!!! 😮 That is awesome 😎 Poor girl sounds like she’s got the black dog 😢 I hope she gets to a better place

[@karenhardie1132]

Very sad to have no joy. $66,000 at an ice cream shop is great money. Hope she finds joy and peace. ❤

[@Crybaby-cz8et]

One lady called Delony to say her son in law is lazy and when asked what his age was. The guy was only 23 yrs old. C'mon now.... These 23 yr olds must just chill and stop rushing things and don't let pressures of society rule them. Define your own success, do things at your own pace!!!

[@lot2196]

Agree. 23. Sheesh.

[@evil1143]

Delony came down hard on that 23 year old as well. It's common knowledge that baloney handles women with kid gloves.

[@Clwbdj]

She is me, but she has a person. I am alone…I can logically see my worth and my successes, but everyone who has left just affirms everything that was deeply engrained in childhood. I feel worthless.

[@dudewhathappenedtomycountr9099]

John should have asked more about her relationship with her boyfriend. I have a suspicion that her entire view of everything is skewed, so they may not be on solid ground. She could make some intelligent decisions right now with his help, but he could leave her in the lurch just as easily. I hope she does see a therapist. She really needs more help than a call-in session can provide.

[@dudewhathappenedtomycountr9099]

She makes $66,000 a year? And she has a boyfriend (who presumably also has a job)? Save every f'ing penny! I've never made that much in my life. Who cares if the money came from her job at an ice cream shop, collecting rubbish, or teaching bungee jumping? Save, go on day trips. Keep your expenses under control so you can feel in control of your life and call your own shots.

[@1Jasmin]

Does someone know in which video he talks about how he (Dr. John Delony) said he had to accept his wife not having the same interests and the other way around and so they do those things with friends instead?

[@chrislim7976]

I make 6 figures please sign me up to work at an ice cream shop for 66K please... That alone is complete happiness for me.

[@mellowbirddreamer77]

She's definitely a sugar baby. Ain't no effing way that makes sense

[@mariechosgaire6984]

Whats with all the bots with their 3 random emojis at the end? 😅

[@debbiebates8099]

What are more ways to spot bots? So many people don’t know they are responding to a bot.

[@bourrr]

They add like English engagements 🈚️🎉🌎

[@kdlee3316]

So Dr Jon is paying for these bots to engage on his channel I guess

[@marissarivas5024]

I hate how every episode they throw around the phrase “get in touch with a counselor” like it’s so easy. I do live in Colorado and Therapy is so expensive and if you do by chance qualify for a free program “therapy sessions” are just tips for anxiety and a prescription for anti depressants.

[@DCornwell-d2t]

She sounds mature for 23. Our frontal cortex not even done developing until age 25.

[@rachelabate2401]

I was listening and wondering to myself why she felt like a looser till she said 23. Man, your world is just starting at 23. Stop the internal dialog of not good enough. I can only reflect and remember 23. The bible says, "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your strength."😊

[@ghost-foxes]

it feels like this girl is comparing her life to other people's "highlight reels" on social media, which does nothing but sour the opinion of hers. she definitely needs to realize that many times what others portray is not the reality. She is more blessed than she realizes and I hope she finds that clarity and self worth she's looking for.

[@Ingrid-sb6my]

She needs to travel. She worked for Disney, why not get a job on a Disney cruise ship?!

[@bostondogmom]

I’m pretty sure eveyone feels stuck in the season they’re in. I don’t think anyone is actually happy for long term😂 bless her though.

[@jasminebaby3375]

You are still young and only 23. I will say change your mindset and do not compare yourself to others.

[@SassyL62]

She sounds really mature lol

[@msdixieblues]

The comparison game is the worst thing forbys to do ourselves.

[@debturner2055]

Why Colorado??? We have enough people that have moved here. We’re over-saturated with people which has made it awful here.

[@Trumblocity]

Nothing is going to work for her until she marrys or breaks up with the boyfriend.

[@KH-xx1rg]

66k working at an ice cream shop is a great salary!!!

[@drewdelaney4166]

Damn I’ll go to the ice cream parlor for a job

[@whatyouknowbout272]

Your only 23 girl it’s going to be ok 😅

[@Ajay4kay]

66K??? I’m in the wrong business

[@ShaareiZoharDaas]

Girls like him because he's more than just a pretty face🎉

[@timothy2491]

This is life coach issue

[@fire12731]

Callers cut to the chase. Please.

[@mellowbirddreamer77]

😅 I agree! I start getting bored and stop listening and giving af

[@helenalderson6608]

Poor thing. She feels like she's an imposter

[@soapyfankatie]

Where is this ice cream shop paying 66K?! lol

[@eddieleejoseph2998]

Now way she's making 66k at an Ice Cream shop.

[@haemo1626]

She's only 23???? Girlll this is the time when everyone diverges. It's a good thing. It's the time that you get to define your own life, including what you think about and what you choose not to care about. That being said, it's normal to grieve this change, just don't let the grief suck you down into only feeling grief. This is why people say your 20s are confusing and hard.