How I avoided the Russian Army (before the war)

SUPPORT ME ON PATREON: / nfkrz
BUY MY YOUTOOZ: youtooz.com/pr...
Quite a long time ago I made a video on Russia's obligatory military service and everything surrounding it. Ever since then, people have been wondering about what my situation regarding the military draft is. In today's video I have some great news to share - I'm not going to the Russian army. Let's talk about how it happened. Smash like and sub for more thx xoxo
---------------------------------
Twitch ► / nfkrz
Instagram ► / roman_nfkrz
---------------------------------
Outro music ► MajorLeagueWobs/Holder - D I S T A N T

[@cristianvillanueva8782]

He really did dodge a javelin rocket

[@Jartran72]

Its a missile though Rockers just get shot and forgotten nothing changes in their path. missiles can change their path like the Javelin does, the missile goes up in the air and hits the rarget from aboth

[@pleasedontwatchthese9593]

@@Jartran72 in layman's terms a rocket is anything that uses a rocket engine to propell it's self with a rocket engine. So a missile is a specific type of rocket.

[@alexm566]

actually, he probably would have been discharged before the war, the service is only one year.

[@frankryan2505]

I use a few questionable streaming services from time to time, they always have pop-ups whenever you hit play. Recently I've been bombarded with a Russian language website, "how to dodge the draft and not go to Ukraine"

[@james4299]

🤪🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@mendax7125]

NFKRZ: “I have asthma” Also NFKRZ: I live in Chelyabinsk

[@tysm.]

Coincidence? *We* think NOT!

[@irrokekuro7654]

@@tysm. Causality* lol

[@commentaccount7880]

sad fax

[@alameano]

Doesn’t he also go out without a mask but a few months ago wast blasting people for doing that?🤔

[@Michas333]

coincidence? i think NOT!

[@leonidasg2257]

DUDE, according to the timing of this, YOU GOT LUCKY AF with that. That asmtha might literally have saved your life.

[@MrTubby69]

they only use contractors, no conscripts

[@yegfreethinker]

The irony of something that has a reuputation of killing you saving your life 😐

[@thelittleredhairedgirlfrom6527]

@@MrTubby69 He said in the video that Russia uses conscripts

[@G.A.C_Preserve]

@@thelittleredhairedgirlfrom6527 but Putin had to smart enough to know that the only useful army in all of Russia is ironic the one that's owned by a private corporations (private army, mercenaries)

[@serioussam909]

@@MrTubby69 that's the official lie.

[@plusunu5559]

If you haven't done this in time, now you would be there, right on the front line. Good job Roman!

[@prplt]

he would've gotten out just before it started

[@TheLolilol321]

Allegedly most of the conscripts they've been sending to Ukraine have been from mostly poorer rural areas where the families are less connected and thus have less opportunity to vocalize their concerns and share their concerns with other russian families. No idea where this was filmed but there is still a chance he wouldn't be. I have no fucking idea why I wrote this comment.

[@PowaN44b]

@@prplt he would know shiet

[@whattwowhat]

@@TheLolilol321 Roman has mentioned that he lived in an industrial poor area before his KZbin popped off.

[@steven-fx5cn]

@@TheLolilol321 that's why you have a weird profile picture

[@nc-bz7nq]

Never heard that somebody is so happy to have asthma before

[@tb.21]

He smokes aswell

[@brianisme6498]

Eh it’s not that bad. Generally it’s bad as a kid but as you get older the symptoms lessen. I haven’t had to use an asthma puffers since I was 15.

[@tolrem]

If you'd read the old book I had called "Inside the Red Army" written by a Russian military guy who defected in the Cold War you'd definitely be pleased to have asthma.Even today the suicide rate among draftees is large apparently.

[@etreni]

maybe that's a legit alibi not to join Russian Army

[@PaperReaper]

@@brianisme6498 same dude, same. Though I am trying to get into shape and the fact that I have to take long breaks doesn't help though XD. You learn to live with it though

[@nowan6221]

After seeing the Russian-Ukranian war i say you not only dodged an 50 cal bullet but also an entire artillery barrage.

[@frederickoftheartic2209]

He dodged a Javelin Attack.

[@seneca983]

Russia is mostly sending contract soldiers in any case so he most likely wouldn't have been sent (even if he had served at the "right" time) unless he decided to take the contract after the mandatory service. Some conscripts *were* sent in the early phases of the war as well and Putin claims to not have been informed about it at the time.

[@Nedula007]

@@seneca983 oh no. There is conscripts there.

[@seneca983]

@@Nedula007 To my knowledge, it's mostly contract soldiers. Note, I'm only talking about Russian forces here. The forces of the separatist "peoples' republics" of Donetsk and Luhansk are conscripts.

[@Rig0r_M0rtis]

@@seneca983 whatever Putin claims not based in reality so why even write it here

[@Berry_N]

This is one of those times in your life when it's so clear how one decision changes the course of your life. Sounds like if they had denied you, you may have been in the beginning of the war. Glad you are safe and not in Russia so you aren't there to be called in.

[@tite93]

Very unlikely that he'd be on the frontline, only a limited number of conscripts are actually involved in the conflict. They basically have to hide them at all costs, since it's illegal to send conscripts to any military operations and the shitstorm after that's found out is enormous. They're already failing to meet conscription quotas for the year, since no one wants to have even a small chance of actually being sent to war

[@Berry_N]

Not sure how many are on the front. Mothers are asking since conscript sons have gone missing. glad to hear of the reluctance of new conscripts.

[@tite93]

@@Berry_N I have some contact with distant friends who are serving right now. They've been offered to sign a contract already (they're close to the end of their 1 year service), both declined. But they're in the air defense, so that's less "frontline" as paratrooper or motorized divisions.

[@Korilian13]

From what I've read they're sending a lot of soldiers from ethnic minoritiesand remote provinces...

[@robezy0]

Roman in 2021: Phew! This saved me one year of my life Roman in 2022: PHEW HOLY SHIT THIS SAVED MY LIFE!!!

[@Duck-wc9de]

God... I just thought about it now! He could be visiting Ukraine in a specially operational way, rigth now.

[@kirabad-artist6532]

He could’ve been dead by now and his parents would have no way of knowing where he is. Jeez, that’s dark

[@MrTubby69]

they only use contractors, no conscripts

[@kirabad-artist6532]

@@MrTubby69 lmao

[@derpcade]

@@MrTubby69 No they've been sending conscripts from the reserves and border regions for a bit now All the contract soldiers are already in Ukraine or on the Ukrainian border

[@fransliszt]

"You can't vlog in the army." In the Finnish army you can.

[@carl4243]

Its finland, you literally give jobs to criminals lol.

[@jarnokurki]

@@carl4243 that's nuts yea, when you get sentenced you should have no part in normal life ever again

[@bojanx9793]

@@jarnokurki It's called being human and giving someone second chance. People no matter what have they done, have human rights. Also, giving them second chance is just a way of trying to integrate them back into the society and potentially fixing the reason that made them do a crime, If that's a possibility.

[@zaidanp7258]

@@AhmedMhemadawi it's not rewarded. Just because some country rules is different doesn't mean you can talk shit about it. “The degree of civilization in a society can be judged by entering its prisons” - Doestovsky

[@VisibilityFoggy]

They're allowed in the U.S. too, at least as long as you don't reveal anything classified. There are a few channels from active U.S. military members, including an F-35 pilot whose channel I follow.

[@emtso]

americans: *i have asthma and my life suck because of this* russians: *god blessed me with asthma*

[@TheMinatoYellowFlash]

Velik oof

[@revertrevertz5438]

Also Americans: I want to be in the army but they don’t let me because I have asthma. That’s Transphobic! 🤣😂🤣😂

[@aperson325]

@@revertrevertz5438 who tf thinks that

[@joshbarrera6005]

@@aperson325 I known right

[@Gamez4eveR]

That's because a single inhaler is like $24000 in the US. And that's with good insurance.

[@lovelygirl2141]

You should be very glad that you never had to go into the Russian military with what is going on right now.

[@biggiec8224]

He literally dodged a bullet there

[@chemp1k]

it is exactly what the video is about

[@MrTubby69]

they only use contractors, no conscripts

[@thelittleredhairedgirlfrom6527]

@@MrTubby69 Why are you so committed to these lies?

[@MrTubby69]

@@thelittleredhairedgirlfrom6527 there might have been a few exceptions but the policy is and was to only use contractors

[@absolutelynothing30]

Didn't just dodge a bullet, he dodged a Bayraktar there.

[@MrTubby69]

they only use contractors, no conscripts

[@suryahadiwinatas2932]

@@MrTubby69 They did kzbin.info/www/bejne/oYecdX-vZ7N8lZo

[@whodis2614]

@@MrTubby69 Boy, you must feel so dumb now that Putler mobilized the country

[@SomeDude1000]

@@MrTubby69 they use conscripts too

[@roboguard96]

This decision aged like fine wine my dude 😂

[@MrTubby69]

they only use contractors, no conscripts

[@roboguard96]

@@MrTubby69 and?

[@cloroxbleach9222]

@@roboguard96 NFKRZ would have been a conscript if he was made to serve. Contractors sign a contract with the military, conscripts don't have to engage in the "special military operation" while contractors do. If the Russians declared it a formal war only then can conscripts be sent to the front.

[@roboguard96]

@@cloroxbleach9222 and you're really willing to take that chance with the Russians?

[@cloroxbleach9222]

@@roboguard96 They DID send conscripts to the front but the Russians said they withdrew them and reprimanded the officers responsible. I would take their claims with a massive grain of salt, I think Putin would want to try and send as many men regardless if they're conscripts or contractors.

[@taxinvasion260]

"PROVE you have asthma" "i- uh... *walks outside in chelyabinsk* give it a second..."

[@FG-td4vs]

Dodged a fucking bullet bro, literally

[@MrTubby69]

they only use contractors, no conscripts

[@FG-td4vs]

@@MrTubby69 right….

[@kadenmcgregor4969]

@@MrTubby69 No they also use concripts unfortunately like always...

[@ihazsucks]

@@MrTubby69 this didn't age well...

[@MrTubby69]

@@ihazsucks hahaha

[@aquatttic8795]

We did it boys, we dodged the draft

[@joemac8664]

Donald?? Is that you??

[@bobthebuilder8619]

*dodged

[@millennialmoneymakers6597]

I thought the exact same shit before the video even started and saw the comments 😂

[@yannick245]

That's not something to be proud of! He lost my respect... That's just my opinion. I watched this and the others about his conscription and can't find an honest reason why he dodged, besides the possibility of mistreatment by the older draftees.

[@millennialmoneymakers6597]

@@yannick245 He has asthma and stated it like 15 times in the video

[@ThornsOfOurTime]

yeah you've been blessed not by the gods with asthma but by the factories in your city, DUDE...

[@juanitacarrollyoung2979]

Good point

[@Thewayofselfdiscovery]

Hahha Really

[@professional.commentator]

Oh shit! You're right! I forgot Chelyabinsk is an extremely industrial city.

[@douglassantet647]

@KoPHuLLloH get out of Russia always complain

[@heavenheavenheaven33]

@KoPHuLLloH bro when i went to moscow, it looked like pretty much like any other capital, its not THAT industrial.

[@Norseraider84]

Looking back from 2022 - that astma may have saved your life ❤️

[@fritzvon1046]

I was a kid during the Vietnam war, everyone I knew had "asthma". Don't worry they all got better when the draft ended.

[@Humongous_Hongonggolongus]

@@thedamntrain yes and no, as in the right to vote was given / permitted to the person (Man), but the obligation to serve in the army amongst others was the price to pay, now women don't have these obligations, except for in countries like Israel.

[@Humongous_Hongonggolongus]

@@thedamntrain oh yeah I agree wholeheartedly, but a nation that let's its women die on a battlefield, is a nation that will die out pretty fast.

[@voidinheritant]

@@Humongous_Hongonggolongus you’re wrong lol the ussr let it’s women serve and they were a massive factor in winning the war.

[@Humongous_Hongonggolongus]

@@voidinheritant now in those countries that care / cared about it's citizens, the woman would be either tending to the sick and wounded or keep the industries afloat, both are vital. The USSR simply didn't care about it's people, as an example look up the battle of Stalingrad, where some soldiers didn't get a rifle, because they ran out. The whole Bullshit about the russian POWs, who upon returning to the USSR were send to the gulags for not dying on the battlefield. But I digress, my point was that at the time of that the female citizens were allowed to vote, they didn't have the same restrictions / duties as their male counterparts.

[@juancapurro7499]

@@voidinheritant the USSR did die out pretty fast?

[@munchpingas2210]

WHOOO, NO MILITARY SERVICEEEEEEE, LET'S GOOOOOO!!!!! CONGRATS ROMAN, YOU'RE NOT DYING IN CRIMEA!!! Edit: I love how this comment became a nice list of places invaded by the Russian army, thanks for everyone that contributed to the list

[@deuscaritasest7518]

Bruh

[@matas253]

You mean Eastern Ukraine

[@CODELIRIOUS-sy8xz]

@@matas253 you mean western russia

[@Poppenheimer69]

2 soldiers died where I served. One hung himself and another slipped while smoking lmfao

[@xijunpinlingte1435]

@@CODELIRIOUS-sy8xz based

[@hecatrice2064]

We missed on great possible content such as: "RECLAIMING UKRAINE!?"

[@RAKITHA9]

Or Rush B attacks

[@slightlywavydonny912]

REVENGE AGAINST FINLAND!?

[@levvy3006]

BLM already own Finland

[@stpeter8993]

COLD WAR 2???!!!?!!

[@awubutfilmsab]

@@levvy3006 What's that supposed to mean, lmao?

[@CozyHi]

NFKRZ: I am not going into the Russian Army *I AM GOING INTO THE FSB*

[@Yair642002]

Hol up

[@LiamHickey2967]

Whats the FSB

[@catarinamelchiorgomes8750]

@@LiamHickey2967 modern version of the KGB

[@LiamHickey2967]

@@catarinamelchiorgomes8750 oh right, thats cool to know

[@jellybr3ak]

So that's Roman's plan to become President of Russia.

[@yikes6263]

I remember when Poland still had obligatory military service and a friend of mine tried to get out of it with his asthma & allergies paper and the doctor literally told him that tanks don't make you allergic.

[@fuckugplus]

tank dont run. up up.

[@andrejsdu]

i mean, doctor is not wrong

[@Apost0345]

Yeah but we still have the BS military committee that gives you those categories depending on your physical state. Luckily it's pretty easy to get a bad category by bribery or making a big deal out of a small disorder.

[@Ziemniaczek]

He's not wrong

[@17DBK]

Imagine sneezing in a confined space like a tank? Aim Mariuzs aim, I’m trying achu achu kyrva achu

[@csaba9285]

He didn't even realize he just saved himself from being drafted into an actual war. It's really crazy if you think about it.

[@RO-vr9qx]

Right??? This is insane

[@ilkoallexandroff]

Damn that military service! I was so lucky that they canceled it just one year before I was supposed to go into the Bulgarian Army! I did go to the draft anyway, and it was really awful experience lol

[@Zakrovik]

Same in Thailand. At least the officers were nice to me, fuck the nurses at the military hospital though they're worse than the soldiers.

[@hroestergaardsaigon]

Vietnamese military service is the worst. Luckily I'm exempted of that shit

[@Zakrovik]

@@hroestergaardsaigon Asthma?

[@hroestergaardsaigon]

@@Zakrovik No my Dad bribed them to get me out of the draft. Also I have poor visions of my eyes too. Myopic. That's what it is. My Dad was best friends with those officers so they told him to donate money to them so they could get me out of the service. I'm thankful for my Dad forever. Rest in Peace, Dad. You've done a lot.

[@smokyondagrass2353]

Aww, but you could've in iraq. It would've been so cool joining the u.s. (wehrmacht ) cough 😷😷 I mean army in "liberating" (conquering) cough 😷😷, Iraq . Wow I have a bad Cold.

[@ArtzyBettz88]

Croatia had mandatory military service untill 2007. All the tests were done in my town hospital while we were followed by military officials. I went to a military checkup in 2006. I was fit for service but at the same time after I've been diagnosed with scoliosis and mandatory physical therapy. When I finished it, the mandatory military service in Croatia was revoked by the government. So yes I was lucky🤣.

[@allenk6373]

i dont think russia will ever get read of the military servise becuase cheap slave labor and corruption are the main reasons why these still exist putin tried to get rid of these by 2012 but nothing

[@allenk6373]

i know croatia is also considered pretty curupted in europe but ins nothing like russia

[@ArtzyBettz88]

@@allenk6373 yeah. One political party in our country has a lot of power and also has their subjects on every possible high position ,and if you are not in this party its hard to get a good job. We are corrupted but much less then 15 years ago. Most of the ex ministers and their subjects are behind bars today. What can I say any corruption today is instanly on the local news bacause of free press. Something these people wanted to band 15 years ago but unsucessfully.

[@allenk6373]

@@ArtzyBettz88 well yes in russia or Kazakhstan or any post solvet country When we hear something like someone stole money nobody cares because everyone is just so use to it

[@allenk6373]

@@ArtzyBettz88 no country from past solvet union is living good right now especially central asia All are dictatorships and turkmenistan is probably the worst of them I wonder why does it happened that europe is(some) thriving and we are like these

[@RealCptHammonds]

My wife and I are glad the Russian Army didn't get their hands on you and can't anymore since you're free now. Continue to enjoy your life.

[@ogaburan]

Odd to include ur wife in that statement but ok...

[@ed-te1fp]

@@ogaburan Seems you're too young to understand.

[@ogaburan]

@@ed-te1fp ​ im married with a kid. Yet i let my wife speak for herself. Doubly so on the internet... dude, its just an odd statement. One thing to say 'my X year old ...' and another to speak for your wife. Maybe its just a cultural thing. Do you let her drive? Own property? Let her makes her own account and comment man... #freeed9999wife

[@ed-te1fp]

​@@ogaburan As I said, you're probably too young. "My wife and I" (or "my husband and I") was a common and polite thing to say before political correctness, gender sensitivities and the like became the new normal. And for some of us, we'll keep doing it regardless of you youngsters.

[@ogaburan]

@@ed-te1fp lol u actually think I'm addressing it because of 'gender sensitivity'? lol, sure. Talking on behalf of other grown adults is a norm on the internet. Sure. Well, my friend and I think you are wrong. Also my wife and uncle thrice removed. I hope you realize how it sounds. Or not. Tried to help. lol

[@cybulskiya8725]

“I have asthma” *Bikes 30km around dacha*

[@stunnr]

i got it too and i can actually bike from city to city n stuff

[@chickensprint]

low intensity n that

[@Burner---Phone584]

You can manage your pace and you know your limits. Military is a hugely different situation, far less forgiving.

[@stunnr]

@@Burner---Phone584 yea true u can like ride a bike for like more than 20 miles and do stopovers

[@yass9579]

I also have asthma but never had an asthma attack i got it since birth ;)

[@emilianochahin]

This is basically the “You are going to Brazil” meme but in Russia

[@kirk.kang27]

Comrade Stalin, you are going to gulag

[@_________________404]

Lmao

[@duolingoowl8207]

@@kirk.kang27 how the tables have turned

[@ospreyslender8931]

Here in Brazil, we too have obligatory military service after 18yrs old They didn't even called me to the office to do any health exams, just gave me the leave lol

[@rafaeldoe1549]

@@ospreyslender8931 You're so lucky, I'm in the middle of the process and I'm dreading to be drafted because I live 3 minutes away from the military base

[@ReaperCH90]

This video aged like fine wine.

[@MrTubby69]

they only use contractors, no conscripts

[@Angel-gs9rg]

Zip it troll. You're getting owned

[@akaking7499]

Imagine Russia invading my country again and I catch NFKRZ stealing my toilet

[@КатеринаР-м7к]

"again" ??

[@akaking7499]

@@КатеринаР-м7к yes, im georgian. that'll be 3rd time in my lifetime. 1 in the 90's when i was a baby, 2 in 2008 when i was watching phineas and ferb. and probably soon enough. its almost been a 10 year gap and Putin cant have that

[@КатеринаР-м7к]

@@akaking7499 don't be worry, Russian have many other countries to "be friends": Ukraine, Syria, by the way the next can can be Belarusia or even Kazakhstan you are not alone😏

[@akaking7499]

@@КатеринаР-м7к what?

[@RandomGuy9]

Georgia is cool. I often traveled there with my wife due to the liberal visa laws.

[@AlfredSoul]

"You have asthma." "Jesus Christ, thank you, finally."

[@dusanissimus]

Got excluded from military service in Serbia, at the age of 27, got called for service, asked for an exam for poor eyesight, went to a military hospital, sent to a doctor, a colonel by rank, he looked at my eyes, I asked him how does it seem? He answered that it seems you're not going to serve. And that was that.

[@KDH-br6hy]

Wow 👏

[@AlfaRomeoQ]

I got excluded from the Brazilian military service at 18 (you have to go to the draft office at whatever year you turn 18, can't go after), because of depression. I managed to get my psychiatrist to write a document, took that with me alongside my prescriptions to the drafting office and they told me to get out of there and never show up again. Granted, my poor eyesight could've worked the same lol.

[@cfilgueira]

@@AlfaRomeoQ I'm about to turn 18(also brazilian) and i have asthma and really fucked up eyesight, i hope i won't have to serve too.

[@SaddestManEver]

I got excluded because of a broken tooth. Like WTF. Not that I'm complaining, but I had a broken tooth, and because of that they said I was not going to serve.

[@bombito3722]

Lucky, in here we got 3 years of mandatory service after highschool and there's no way for me to evade it :(

[@ae5642]

When we meet on the battlefield during ww3 after we are forcefully drafted, I’ll share my inhaler with you.

[@pcelicamaja1713]

I actually made "aww" sound while reading this 😂. It also kind of portrayes how uninterested our generation is to fight in wars

[@billygoatgruff3536]

@Idontknowmynamelol 17 inshallah brother 🙏

[@dariusbagdonas935]

Lawyer: - Do you have any medical condition. NFKRZ: - I used to cough a lot as a child. Lawyer: - Ok, so now since childhood you had a severe asthma.

[@wokeaf1337]

NFKRZ: -Exactly, how could I forgot about that!

[@sophbliss]

Oh. My. God. You would've been cannon fodder by now... Roman, I know you think you can go back to Russia but you have said a lot of things previous to the new law that are way out there by Putin's standards. I am genuinely worried about you. I only found out about you recently, but currently you are my favourite Russian KZbinr. You speak the truth. Edit: Book recommendation. The Man Outside by Wolfgang Borchert.

[@kilianfirebolt]

I would like to add that most of the russian army arent in ukraine, right now they have a lot more men covering their huge border- im assuming he would be a border guard

[@NathanJ2378]

@@kilianfirebolt like two thirds of the army is in Ukraine

[@diavolos519]

@@NathanJ2378 Wrong. Only about 20-30 BTG groups (Battalion Tactical group) are reported inside Russia. BTGs consist of about 700-1500 men. Adding that up would be about a max of 60k soldiers. Just to be generous. Thats not even a 1/4th of their military in active dude. Where have you heard this info? Its extremely misleading. And before you call me a bot, i despise what Russia is doing in Ukraine and i hope Putin and his generals are trialed for thir heinous acts inside UKR. But i digress.

[@fromthefire4176]

KilianFirebolt they’re pulling forces from everywhere for Ukraine, leaving a lot of their borders just completely unmanned.

[@MrTubby69]

they only use contractors, no conscripts

[@stalkerentertainment3671]

Roman: "I will not be drafted into the Army" *Bangs on Roman's door* ???: "KGB OPEN UP!"

[@ANDREALEONE95]

*FSB

[@karlsteinhauser4446]

@@ANDREALEONE95 he probably knows that KGB is just funnnier

[@stalkerentertainment3671]

@@ANDREALEONE95 What is the difference, except that this is Putin's private agency and that they are not a tool for a communist party? Besides this is a meme I know that the KGB is now the FSB in the Russian federation.

[@iamwritingrightnow8217]

@@stalkerentertainment3671 there is no difference. The FSB is basically the KGB of Russia.

[@Martina-Kosicanka]

He is not Belarusian

[@SimoExMachina2]

I can see the Soviet bureaucratic spirit is still alive and well in Russia.

[@l__l2328]

Russia is essentially a capitalist version of the USSR

[@GenocideWesterners]

@@l__l2328 And a lot weaker than the USSR

[@sloptek1807]

@@l__l2328 In which way it is USSR? Modern Russia is only good at parasiting on Soviet Legacy.

[@distritofederal7187]

@@l__l2328 USSR was never socialist pal

[@sloptek1807]

@Aph!x Russia has degraded. Yesterday they were building socialism and living in a society of justice, where science and labor were in the first place. Today they are slipping into the 19th century, where people plow for businessmen (like peasants for lords), today God and cheap nationalism are in vogue.

[@vanaver]

Well...this aged well. For real o_o.

[@jnkiee]

He has uploaded, we shall rejoice and celebrate.

[@confusion5014]

Да

[@AmericanIdiot7659]

cursed pfp

[@MrBobby101]

Weebs in chat

[@Valtk8910]

Yes

[@crossfam5940]

Yes 🇷🇺

[@mayoandbananasandwich6527]

Russia: nooo you cant just circumvent the conscription!! NFKRZ: haha asthma go brrrrr

[@tankieflanker4119]

Lmao, this is underrated.

[@raoufrachedi2383]

LMAO

[@mariabobia69]

lungs go hhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[@Lemonz1989]

It’s similar in Denmark, but we have centralized medical records, so they just look in them when given access. I was sent a questionnaire by the military, that we send back in ahead of time, before meeting up at the recruitment office. Even if you are maybe considered unfit to serve, you usually have to meet up in the office to talk to some people and a doctor, to determine how well you are, and if you can take other duties (administrative or something). I have type 1 diabetes, and wrote that down, and what hospital I was treated at. They just sent a letter back that basically said “yeah, you don’t have to come in, because you are most likely considered unfit to serve, but you can come watch the board make their final decision in rejecting you at [date and time]”.

[@stale2665]

Same in Norway, but conscripts are never used in foreign missions, only for territorial defense. I got out of it because of a minor health issue that the doctor was kind enough to exaggerate. If he hadn't, I would have had to go, but I wouldn't have been able to participate in the fun stuff, so he put me down as entirely unfit instead of partially unfit to serve so I would be spared a year of boredom. Even then, there's usually more potential recruits than there are resources to train them all, so simply saying that you're really, really unmotivated might get you a free pass anyway, as they'd have few problems finding someone who actually is motivated to take your spot. It's not even that bad of a deal. You get a little bit of money at the end of it, and you had practically no expenses through the year, and you might have gotten some free certifications and vehicle licenses out of it, too. You also get a tiny advantage when applying for higher education if you've completed your military service.

[@fpsserbia6570]

NFKRZ: I'm not going to the Russian Army Russian Military Police: that is what you think

[@Cookiemaster98_98]

@Young Dre true, thats how it works here in finland, and we have conscription

[@YBM2007]

@@Cookiemaster98_98 same in norway, maybe stricter in cold war era but they would actively search for awols. all kinds of stories of people hiding on islands and such being dragged in

[@etreni]

@@Cookiemaster98_98 Well some Russians prefer to train at Finnish Army to evade their own army training....?

[@thevoid5503]

@Young Dre Used to be the case here in the Netherlands before the draft was ended.

[@hanskeukens]

Dodged a Javelin there

[@troodon1096]

Probably one of the few cases where I can honestly say someone is lucky to have asthma.

[@joshualieberman1059]

LOL I basically moved to another city and my parents ignored every military guy coming into vicinity of their household until I'm 27.

[@BorsaMANIAC]

Typical way to avoid the army for the healthy people, or who just doesn't want to do anything related with the army, even show the feet at their offices. Although if you're unlucky, they may catch you (with the help of police if needed) and just "ooohhhh you in the army noow". Or if you're very unlucky, they may charge you with a criminal offence for avoiding the obligatory army service (2 years of inprisonment max punishment AFAIK). This is rare because the army has much more to gain if you just come serve, and if you become like an actual felon for this, you won't be accepted in the army ever again, and those people need to fulfill some conscription quotas!

[@joshualieberman1059]

Boris The Kitchen Knife in my time(mid 2000s) if you don't sign a military draft letter that should be handed to you personally , you can't be held criminally responsible. I dunno maybe they changed the laws since then.

[@BorsaMANIAC]

@@joshualieberman1059 no this didn't change. If army people don't have any signed documents either by you or your relatives, they cannot hold you responsible for avoiding the army service. It's that there are ways to accidentally fuck this up, like an employer can (he is legally obliged by the way) report you to the army and they may come to your place, or you can accidentally be caught up in some sort of raid, which are very rare but I heard some stories. Sometimes universities are complicit in trying to get people at the draft office as soon as possible as they finish their degree or drop out (like you tell you to go there before theygive you documents etc., which is not very legal btw).

[@rukus9585]

@@BorsaMANIAC Damn Borris, you're kicking knowledge here! Good for you man. Inform the people! Every single one you can keep out of trouble helps out.

[@rukus9585]

@@BorsaMANIAC Btw, if your username is a reference to a certain "English jewel heist movie," even better!

[@aurelijav]

NFKRZ: You can't vlog while being in the army My friend in my country: Making snap stories everyday while being in army and showing all the things he's doing

[@malachkah]

@Jake Johansson Lithuania

[@professional.commentator]

@Jake Johansson I think the same happens in the U.S. army although I'm not sure.

[@fool4343]

@Jake Johansson or maybe their army treats people as people

[@dominykas6813]

Nah, the army here is just a bunch of bs, its a huge waste of time, you get paid fuck all compared to continuing your career / advancing in your company etc.

[@James-pz4sh]

@Jake Johansson no it’s just that his country has basic right for humans there :)

[@TheItalianoAssassino]

Central Europe: OMG my cell service in this remote town is slightly worse than in this city Russia: W H A T I S P H O N E ? !

[@manjimanj]

😂

[@questionablebackyardmeows]

Probably the best decision any Russian could ever make. Good on you for not being one of the people hurting the Ukrainian people right now. Respect :)

[@MrTubby69]

they only use contractors, no conscripts

[@senju4]

@@MrTubby69 that sentence aged well lol

[@WhatisAPaladin]

i haven't watched you in like 3-4 years, fuck you've matured a fair bit ay

[@abusaloh8564]

Where wuz u nikkkurrrrrr

[@Willowtree82]

Yes he's full grown baby now, refusing to serve his country because that's for the poors

[@viktorreznov4718]

@@Willowtree82 He is very poor.

[@starsnstrife]

If you were drafted you would be canon fodder in ukraine now.

[@jeeez4107]

love from Jordan broooo 🇯🇴💜 addicted to your vids for a year lmao😂

[@DannyK1992]

Howdy neighbor!

[@mustafaali3333-q1m]

@@DannyK1992 Israel isn't a neighbor

[@DannyK1992]

@@mustafaali3333-q1m yes it is, whether you like it or not And we are the ones that keep you a *thing* otherwise the Arab Spring would have knocked out the Hashemites as well and y'all would end up as Palestine 2.0

[@supakveliki2481]

Here's what really happened! NFKRZ "I have asthma, you cant do shit to me" Doctor takes a look on him and writes "DEBIL" on the official record.

[@scudb5509]

This cracked me up 😂

[@xXRealXx]

whatever it takes to avoid the draft

[@KohaAlbert]

shlang?

[@Bruh-gd7hy]

@@KohaAlbert yes

[@ricky6608]

Recruitment Policy: Scraping the Barrel [NFKRZ will be recruited]

[@DijaFix]

I also avoided going to the military in my country, Finland, by having a condition. Our army recruitment works by assigning recruitees with health ratings like A, B, C, E, and some others I don’t know at the moment. First time meeting the doctor, I was physically rated at A but mental health was so fucked they delayed it by a few years, so I was rated E for at least three years. Then at some point my doctor decided to put me from E to C, basically meaning I won’t have to serve, because that time I was being screened for bipolar, and they don’t want to take any risks eith that condition, especially if it’s enough to raise concern in medical professionals. Later it would turn out I’m not bipolar, just depressed.

[@quantumtech2998]

c-pabers

[@niklas4813]

I got handed A-papers even though I told the doctor in the recruitment that I have bad mental health (haven't been diagnosed but panic disorder runs in the family) and he just told me that I have time to deal with it since my service is in 2023. I'll probably be fucked if I have to serve but oh well.

[@MyH3ntaiGirl]

Yeah they don't want you guys pull a PvtPile like Full Metal Jacket

[@Ozzianman]

While Military Service is voluntary in Norway, I would not be let in even if I wanted to. Gotta love ADHD, Von Willebrand Syndrome, Epilepsy and a dash of Asperger. Yeah... I really won in the genetic lottery. Blood not clotting property makes surgeries more lethal and ADHD make it more difficult to regulate my attention (medication helps a lot for me). While I have not had epileptic seizures in years, the harsh training military training might make the seizures make a very inconvenient return as I would have my driver's license revoked. Asperger? Well... It's just a very mild form of Autism and I cope with difficult pesky social cues and not being in "on the big secret" very well. Conscription into the Civil Defence is a completely different matter though as my health does not matter AS much there. It is mandatory, though the chances of being conscripted is low.

[@Heskey-pn1yc]

@@Ozzianman Compulsory 2 yrs of National Service including Army, Navy, Airforce, The National Police Force & the National Fire & Paramedic Rescue service here in Singapore for every Singapore Citizens & 2nd Generation Legal Singapore Permanent Residence.

[@simon7109100]

If bribes are so big in this sector, maybe they should let people buy themself off from service officially. That way at least the money wouldn't go to someone's pocket.

[@KrisHandsome]

Lol you already know this man is happy as hell right now.

[@00fgytduydrtu]

>"I can't just disappear and go silent" literally what every greek youtube does when millitary service is up.

[@exosproudmamabear558]

And why is that?

[@veslebzgen]

@@exosproudmamabear558 mandatory service

[@00fgytduydrtu]

@@veslebzgen although in all fairness,its far better than the russian one

[@bubblebreak4160]

That’s why I’ve never seen a Greek youtuber

[@eruno_]

same with any South Korean KZbinr lol

[@spinchan7453]

I am South Korean, and military service is mandatory here too. I have a weak respiratory system like Roman, however there is not much chance I will get excluded from the draft. Because of the low birth rate, the government wants to draft as many men possible. The living conditions in the army barracks are not good, and often bullying and harrasment happen. As a socially awkward person I dread the military service but now I only have a few years until I have to take the national medical exam for army recruitment. (I am 16, at the moment)

[@matth1641]

I think you should start working on yourself right now. If you get rid of that social awkwardness, start lifting weights and getting ripped, maybe learn some martial arts, I'm sure you'll avoid much of that bullying. No one wants to fuck with the buff dude that can fight.

[@a_goblin22]

you will probably meet people like yourself in the service i wish you luck gamer

[@spinchan7453]

@@a_goblin22 Thanks, good luck to you too!

[@darkfloy5558]

@@matth1641 what

[@wojciechgrodnicki6302]

Dude, I met some of the RoK Marines in Pohang. My God. As US Marines, we cringed seeing how they treated the Conscripted Marines in South Korea. The entire term for them looked like our Basic Training which was only 14 weeks.

[@lyns8062]

It’s not often that someone is so happy to have a medical condition & even less often that it literally saves you life.

[@nithu3110]

In Switzerland we do have also mandatory military service. That time before I served in the military I'd have even admitted myself voluntarily for the service. Well, the RS (Rekrutenschule) was not like I imagined. 80% of the time we were doing nothing. Yes I completely understand that sometimes there are no orders. However, many of my friends do also agree upon my opinion. Still, I didn't regret the service after all it was quite funny, though. However, if you try to adress the issues to your superior officer, well, don't do that. As a soldier you can't really participate constructively.

[@TripleDDDD]

Warte zum seckle, seckle zum warte ;-) English: wait to run, run to wait

[@nithu3110]

@@TripleDDDD ja voll Häsibe (abbreviation for stand by) 😂. Marsch, Marsch, Marsch...

[@rytisliaucys3444]

Kinda same in Lithuania. The first half of the service was very intense, but then the other half.. We were indeed doing nothing lol.

[@morisco56]

Why does switerland even have an army? They will never use it

[@nikolayd.3880]

@@morisco56 Switzerland has an army precisely to never have to use it.

[@ellredman2860]

Love learning about Russian culture and way of life from you, I discovered your channel unfortunately due to the war but have been loving your videos on just general life as a Russian, it's so interesting for me as a Brit who prior to this didn't really know all that much about Russia, I didn't think it was that different from the west until the past couple of month happened. Much love and Respect from the UK. Stay strong in Georgia bro.

[@noboloboski]

No it was quite different to the west

[@noboloboski]

In my brit school once the war happened, everyone was literally making plots to assassinate putin. I know they hate him, but wtf??? And the worst part is our teacher was CONDONING this kind of action

[@per3974]

So sad to think about all the great Russian youth being forced into a conflict that they didn't ask for. Destroying the lives of others, and getting hurt, or killed or being forced to do things they can never be forgiven for.

[@JustinVenture-]

American soilders can have GoPro's when their in battle and it's really crazy and entertaining to watch. I don't support it, but it is really cool that they share their war experiences for people who won't ever (hopefully) experience war.

[@J.P.-13]

Thank you, asthma! ❤️

[@zaphodbond]

You dodged a bullet right there. Also probably a couple a Javelin an Bayraktar missiles.

[@MrTubby69]

they only use contractors, no conscripts

[@placeholdername0000]

Add a HIMARS missile to that list.

[@daniellivingston7699]

@@MrTubby69 this bot is under every comment on this video posting the same lie. Hilarious. 😂

[@SomeDude1000]

@@daniellivingston7699 fr

[@HappyVibes535]

​@@placeholdername0000And FPV drones.

[@jonflora1]

During the Vietnam War my dad graduated from college and just signed up because he knew he would get drafted, he was stationed in Southern California battling against heatstroke.

[@baileydonnell2292]

Roman's life is literally a sitcom

[@dgcharlie5360]

Well that about sums up Russia

[@jubbybrab]

*cues in laugh track*

[@voicesinthedark109]

I get you man. We used to have draft in Poland in the past now it's all professional army. I dodged the army by going to the university and before I graduated it was reformed.

[@thegailen]

This video aged well

[@jig-ga]

I remember having to be checked in Germany for the Bundeswehr when I was 17. took a fat bong rip, hopped on the train to where ever the fuck I had to go. first thing was the piss test which led to me getting a grade of 6. I was good to go home lol

[@f67739]

that easy, huh?

[@GameCaliber1]

I thought that most European countries (including Germany) doesn't have mandatory conscription?

[@jeroen2218]

@@GameCaliber1 This story is obviously from the cold war period, "Bundeswehr = Western Germany" In my European country military mandatory was abolished in the 80s, maybe it still exists in countries like: Estonia, Ukraine, Finland, Belarus etc etc But not in any Western European country.

[@fistzarsprottnik5533]

@@jeroen2218 mandatory service still exists in germany (the army is of course also still called bundeswehr), austria&switzerland. some others maybe too but yeah

[@MoViesDProductions]

@@fistzarsprottnik5533 Didn't Germany get rid of the Wehrpflicht like 10 years ago?

[@jasonm7973]

I completely forgot about this. Crazy to think what would have happened if you would have went.

[@Everythingwithonehand]

Thank goodness. I would have wept for Roman’s luscious, shampoo advert locks if he’d had to go to the military.

[@Lafemmefutile]

I feel like he could use a very lush conditioner especially in winter - and a hair mask.

[@Vortex__24]

@Laura Quin British gang yee

[@whybenorman]

WOW, the process you describe is exactly the same as the Greek army where I served for one year - mandatory. Some of my friends with medical conditions went through the same exact shit with the Greek army, doctors, etc. One of my friends with epilepsy didn't get excused by the army, because of this crazy process and irrational requirements. It's amazing how similar the Russian and Greek army processes sound!

[@promethazine39]

I'm turkish and we have the mandatory service here too.It's better than Russian service though and it's only 6 months.

[@camadams9149]

Well, well, well. Seems like you nailed the timing

[@xEmpiire]

Imagine WWIII starts, you get drafted, sent away across the pacific, and you end up getting beamed by Roman

[@elitedavidhorne8494]

Worked out well considering the current situation in Ukraine.

[@chip9649]

Hes being drafted to the navy

[@davidferreira1957]

Russia's navy is almost nonexistent, but still possible

[@hugh8559]

Lmao

[@Sola_nin]

@@davidferreira1957 their Navy is good I think. Did you see their Navy?

[@lukabogdanovic4658]

@@davidferreira1957 excuse me *what* ?

[@sodinc]

Navy is a part of "army", because the whole military force in RF is called "army".

[@thecaucasian86]

So there's a universe where Roman is doing Vlogs in Bakhmut right now.

[@davidinmossy]

You've literally dodged a massive bullet with this one!! Nice one !

[@sleepyacolyte8283]

I read the name as “I’m going to the Russian army“ and my heart stopped-

[@luna_macaroni]

same, almost died

[@spicylemon6255]

@DIORDOL VON GIOHEIM I’m so sorry that he doesn’t respond to you in a para social relationship.

[@ziffy8532]

@DIORDOL VON GIOHEIM he’s probably busy, we don’t know

[@fool4343]

@DIORDOL VON GIOHEIM why do you view human people that are not borgeousie as a money hungry robots

[@shadowdestroyer93yt48]

How would you know if he treats us like dollar signs first of all he could be busy 2nd of all he could just be reading comments without replying 3rd of all he is making interesting videos if he treated us like dollar signs he would of been making videos without working half as hard

[@alittleolder]

I had to go to the draft office for 5 times until the finally discharged me. Proud to have served 2 days for the republic of austria

[@ABC-de5in]

It should never be like this. Just simply insane. In the US, you just decide to sign up or not.

[@James-pz4sh]

@@ABC-de5in I always laugh when American say some shit like “oh I wish I can move to Russia” and they live in America so they have absolutely no idea what it’s like over there 😂

[@ABC-de5in]

@@James-pz4sh I agree. It hurts my brain hearing people around here say "omg i want to live in japan, america sucks". Not realizing you are working over 40 hours a week without overtime pay and you cant leave the office until the boss leaves, even if the boss comes late. They only look into the good side and ignore everything else

[@James-pz4sh]

@@ABC-de5in you know how it is. You don’t realized what you have until it’s gone. Al of these things we take for granted will continue to be taken for granted until you step foot in another country then it’ll be a wake up call. People I’m this country are just pessimistic and ungrateful even though they’re probably the most privileged people in the world lol

[@Vitorruy1]

@@James-pz4sh this so much this. No offence but people in america are entitleted and doomer af. They always makes thinks out to be so much worst than they actually are and are full of first world "problems". I was talking to an american guy who claimed the american economy was collapsing so I looked to the numbers and saw 5% unemployment and 2% inflation. Damn I wish my economy would collapse like that lmao. This mf dont even know how an actual crisis looks like.

[@Punkmunk12]

😂 this guy has done more to make Russians and Americans relatable then anyone in history. Keep YouTubing man

[@qasim2307]

does america have obligatory military service?

[@100megatonYT]

My dad met an 18 year old Russian soldier in Iraq. I hope he’s having a much better life now!

[@dszxnavtiisx6384]

The cousin of my mom died with 19 in Afghanistan in the Soviet war against Afghanistan she said he wrote in the letters that he always was afraid to die and wants to come home

[@100megatonYT]

@Jake Johansson well, he did tell my dad that he was doing his years of obligatory service, and that he wasn’t h being paid. This happened in 2004 so it could’ve changed since then.

[@thomasfromswindon7609]

@Jake Johansson Afghanistan...not Iraq

[@USMC517]

Weird, what part of Iraq was he in? Didn't know Russia had any reason for being there at the start of the GWOT.

[@100megatonYT]

@@USMC517 in the Sunni triangle near Baghdad. With the 36th Infantry.

[@dms-f16]

Knowing that the quagmire of bureaucracy combined with little to no modernization is basically the same in all post-soviet countries sparks a bit of joy for me (being from such a country). - no phones, no tech, all records on paper written with ink -- check - doctors always gone -- check - officials requiring their own *aditional* papers issued by their own *special* offices -- check - bribes -- double triple check - workers are either lovely grans who make you tea & soothe your soul or screeching harpies from hell. No inbetween. -- checkaroo! Stay safe dude!

[@LuckyPigeon1111]

I cannot tell if this aged well or not.

[@vanrex7682]

Aged extraordinary well… I mean if he’d been drafted he’d be in Ukraine now, depending on his chance even being part of the failed siege of Irpin, which was a massacre.

[@nad1ax2]

@@vanrex7682 r/wooosh

[@kerlygerl]

It’s aged very very well. Love it.

[@9a72a]

ЕЕЕЕСТЬ! Болела за тебя, Роман! Happy russian noises, u know~

[@danielimmortuos666]

YEEEST! Bolela za tebya, Roman!

[@deemah3602]

ае, радуюсь как за себя

[@conlangknow8787]

ah yes, yeyeyeyest’

[@JonathanLopezUT]

I’m really glad you didn’t get drafted, that means we get to keep seeing your content and learning about modern Russia

[@Larkinchance]

Roman,... You speak English better than most Americans

[@Adamlol642]

Yeah he just has an accent which I can clearly understand (thank you comrade boris)

[@sillygoose4100]

@unknown not most people

[@hapoy1675]

Dodged a javelin there

[@bighulkingwar_machine1123]

Exactly one year ago I would have told you the military could change your life in great ways, and give you life long experience...and then POOOOTINN

[@marinamarina411]

I'd known a guy who broke his own arm so he won't have to attend the russian army.

[@kevind3974]

Can’t blame him for that.

[@didinau]

I always felt bad for men because they had no choice but to go and serve, but after watching and seeing these young teenagers in your video it makes me feel horrible.

[@НатовскийШпион]

@Jake Johansson officers in russian army are bad too. Most of them are arrogant assholes, who like using conscript soldiers for doing their own work. And they're not really smart either. But almost all russian army officers have very good salaries and a lot of privileges. I still don't understand why most of them is such a scum

[@debilman9065]

Exactly, these guys are supposed to start building their own lives how they want but the military is all like "your lives belong to us now (for a year at least)"

[@budgetlifter]

Israel and Eritrea have conscription for both men and women...based

[@debilman9065]

@@budgetlifter Least these countries follow Kazuma Satou's gender equility

[@megapet777]

yeah trust me it sucks

[@TylerWin]

When Roman used asthma to get out of the military draft but I hid my asthma to get into the military xD

[@christopherjohnblack3526]

Are there other soldiers who hide their asthma?

[@TylerWin]

@@christopherjohnblack3526 in the US military, plenty lol

[@christopherjohnblack3526]

@@TylerWin Man, how are they able to hide such condition that affects breathing? It's obvious when one is wheezing.

[@TylerWin]

@@christopherjohnblack3526 not all asthma is severe to the point where you’ll always hear wheezing, so it’s not as apparent when checking for breath sounds.

[@christopherjohnblack3526]

@@TylerWin well, I hope I can enter then my country's army haha!

[@reptilez13]

Whenever the recruiters would approach me in the mall and stuff as a kid Id just say "childhood epilepsy" and theyd turn heel and stop talking to me completely lol.

[@tamara10]

all the kids at the drafting center sounds like some huger games type of process

[@georgelabe-assimo4365]

Hot damn, coming back and seeing the comments after the war started is crazy. You dodged a 255mm shell and Javelin for sure.

[@PhysicstIsaac]

You shine light on us in these dark times

[@Gabelolguy]

Nice!! I'm happy for you, man.

[@angelinaphilippova7173]

Nobody: Roman: BUMFUCK nowhere