How I got diagnosed as autistic in 2010 as a lower support needs girl.

I hope you have enjoyed the video. Please check the comments for my Mum's perspective.
Link to my Gofundme for a second cochlear implant (please don't feel any obligation to donate):
gofund.me/6b07703b
My Instagram: / nellefindlay

[@jackiefindlay8804]

You’ve summarised it really well. There were other things such as an obsession with Harry Potter and struggles such as not understanding the subtleties of some social interactions and references. Your first high school was traumatic for you (and for me) and I think that took a long time to come back from. I think after that it made it difficult for you to trust yourself in friendship situations so you sort of chose to withdraw rather than leave yourself vulnerable to rejection or another bout of bullying. I think there is so much more awareness now and more focus on inclusivity and kindness that I would hope that nobody would be treated like that now. I am exceptionally proud of how resilient, kind and lovely you are.

[@barrytaylorprofoundlydeafi2479]

Hi nelle💐it was only in the last couple of years that the doctor said I was on the autistic spectrum,now I know why I did not like mixing with people or I made excuses not to go to family gatherings,last Thursday 30th Nov I had to travel by train & tube from Kent to st Thomas hospital in London! This was the first time I had gone this far on my own in over 6yrs,I got stressed on the train as there were no working toilets & as most people know I have a catheter & need to empty a pee bag so I had to break my journey to use a station toilet,lucky for me I had my radar key with me! Then my CI appointment did not go that well,my beep test showed I was profoundly deaf but the inner ear test showed the cochlear hairs were working ok so I have to go back for a further test to see what's stopping me from hearing! So I felt a big fraud! And struggled on the way home,trying to find the right tube line & make sure I was in the right carriage of my train home! So I get what you have to cope with each & every day! Your mum has done a great job raising you & helping you with your career! We can learn a lot from you & what you have achieved! 🥰🥰♥️♥️

[@Miku-gp8ik]

omg i just found your chanel and i absolutely love you, you sound so sweet! Im deaf on one ear and always been asked if I wanted a cochlear implant but always rejected it because i can hear well with my one side, byt out of curiosity about it I found your videos! Also all my life ive had trouble socializing and going to school, my psychologist told my parents it could be autism but i passed the test doing everything really good, even having a better iq than what they expect at the age I did it but they concluded I didn't have it because I could recognize well emotions and expressions, also as I could talk to them they thought I was fine (wich I think isn't good, i mean the spectrum is huge and a lot of autistic people CAN talk and be aware of expresions by people around them) Anyways, I absolutely love your chanel, im looking forward to follow you on instagram! Have a great year, greetings from Buenos Aires, Argentina ❤🇦🇷

[@Miku-gp8ik]

Omg im at the end of the video and we have a lot of similarities! In primary I had just 2 friends but one moved to the US before finishing it, later in secondary school I had it really difficult and changed school, i went to 3 different ones and just in the last one after more than a year I finally got into a group of friends

[@nellefindlay]

Hola desde el Reino Unido. Me encanta oir de tus experiencias que son similares como yo! Con respeto a tus problemas sociales que no coinciden exacamente con autismo, quizas seria una buena idea hablar con un psicologo, porque hay muchas cosas muy similares con autismo que es posible que tengas como TDAH o "trasorno de la comunicacion social". Pero tambien es posible que tengas unos rasgos de autismo pero se considera subclinica. Pero, en calquier caso seria una buena idea hablar con alguien de estratagias para ayudarte. Perdon la falta de acentos en todas las palabras, estoy escribiendo en teclado ingles. Nelle :)

[@Miku-gp8ik]

@@nellefindlay thank you so much! I am already going to therapy so hopefully ill have the proper help and answers that I couldn't get in the past. Muchas gracias por escribir en español! Muy lindo gesto ♡ te mando saludos 💕🇦🇷

[@Lyandra01]

Being really good at recognizing patterns is not a useless skill. I got a lot of specialized jobs because when I was younger because I was very good at finding lost objects and finding missing files in offices-which lead to recouping millions of dollars for the companies. (This is somewhat ironic since I lose so many of my own things frequently. I’ve become a real stickler for routines as an adult to try to minimize time lost searching for keys and glasses. Lol!) Being able to recognize patterns has also made me very good at diagnosing kids with learning disabilities because I see the patterns of where they are off in how they speak or write. I’m also very good at learning languages within similar families very quickly. Typically I can become proficient in a new language in about three months. Your super power is a good one! (Edited for spelling.)

[@mattw-cx50]

It's fascinating to me how the whole diagnosis process works. I have an "autistic" cousin who has severe difficulties with processing social situations. I really wonder how there can be any test that can conclusively diagnose such a complex and often subtle set of symptoms. In my opinion we're all pretty neurodiverse but that doesn't mean we fit neatly into some box of classification. The other thing I find harmful, is to say that there is something "wrong" with a person for having issues understanding and mastering certain concepts. I mean we don't say there is something wrong with a person who has trouble learning calculus or sketching photorealistic drawings. Any way I appreciated seeing your video and don't see anything "abnormal" or "wrong" with you at all.

[@nellefindlay]

I mean you've basically summed a lot of it up. Autism isn't some sort of disease, it's just a pattern of behaviours that are consistently slightly different to the 'typical' person. The diagnostic criteria are pretty well established so there is a standardised way to diagnose autism (if you are a professional psychologist), but it's definitely something that is kind of only a problem because of society. For example, in societies without written language, nobody would be diagnosed with dyslexia because it just wouldn't be an issue. The same way that in societies where people live in small groups and only interact with the same 20 people their whole life, autism wouldn't really be an issue because autistic people wouldn't have to navigate complex social situations. Unfortunately though, with society the way it is, in order for people who don't suit the very narrow definition of a 'normal' person to get adaptations to make the world work better for them, they need to have a diagnosis of something. It's a bit of a paradox because in order to get the support you need to be able to function in a society that isn't designed for you, you need to have a diagnosis, but then if you have that diagnosis, people look down on you for having something 'wrong' with you. It's a no win situation. However, I'm still in favour of diagnosis (until society changes) because while there is still a stigma for having a diagnosis, it's still less stigma than the assumptions that people will make if you don't. For example it's better to be seen as 'autistic' than 'rude' and it's better to be seen as 'dyslexic' than 'an idiot who never learned to read'. Apologies for the essay, but it's something that I feel very strongly about. I have a whole video on this topic if you're interested: kzbin.info/www/bejne/sGTSgKWPo7F5nZo

[@mattw-cx50]

​@@nellefindlay Don't be at all sorry and thank you for responding. I have a much greater understanding and appreciation for the situation now. I watched the linked video and it makes a lot of sense to me. It's not so much that I thought there was something wrong with being diagnosed so you can receive good treatment and strategies. It's more that I was a little skeptical of how comprehensive and accurate the tests were when dealing with psychological issues. Like for instance I have been diagnosed with chronic depression and social anxiety. I was told there must be a chemical imbalance that can be remedied through taking antidepressant and anxyiolitic drugs which can cause a lot of negative side effects. New studies show no real correlation between neurochemistry and mood disorders. After taking these drugs for decades now my condition is probably worse in some ways than it was before the meds. The process now of getting off the meds safely is long and involves some serious withdrawal effects. So you can see why I'm a bit skeptical of the psychiatric professionals.

[@tomasvoldrich]

thanks for the subtitles, it helps a lot. I hear the little bit longer pauses in speech - is it unscripted video ? Pattern recognition is one of autistic traits,,, so it is "normal" in autistic way

[@nellefindlay]

Yes, it's unscripted (most of my videos are) I just have some talking points on a piece of paper and then just make it up. I have tried to edit out pauses in other videos, but I've been told it's better to leave them in. :)

[@tomasvoldrich]

yes it is no problem with leaving them as it is more authentic video then. I just wanted to be sure that i recognized it correctly. Since september 2022 i am doing my autism research every single day to know as much as possible to understand myself. I really love autism as topic. It is my "special" interest. so i just wanted to compare my knowledge with what i see in video@@nellefindlay

[@MiaMia-px5xo]

Hey there Nelle, you are such a sweet and spontaneous girl. Awesome how open you are about autism but generally about your life. :) Thanks for sharing. If you don't mind, could I send you a e-mail because I have a little bit the same story to tell. Greetings and Merry Christmas.

[@nellefindlay]

Thank you. :) Of course you can send me an e-mail. There should be a link to my email address in the about section of my channel.