How I Healed From Gender Dysphoria

These are the things I found very helpful when healing from my gender dysphoria. I hope this can be helpful to other women.

[@edge4265]

You’re so amazing! Out of all the detransitoners I’ve seen, you’re the only one focusing in on the butch perspective. In my world, so many butches have transitioned. They need voices like yours. I love the way you helped yourself recover through art. It would be cool if you could help facilitate some type of art therapy for detrans people. Also, surrounding yourself with female music, etc is a great idea. I think all women should lean into female influences. It’s very grounding. Thanks for being you and for making me feel sane. Btw, I’m seeing Tori Amos on Friday!

[@SourPatches2077]

Me and my wife saw her a very long time ago. 2004 I think. Have a great time and blow her a kiss for me. I listened to a lot of her music again during that first year after stopping transition.

[@bwoodward9564]

I don't think there is mental illness here,or with dysphoria in general: just some misfortune. I am concerned with health in general. I would ask that you research carnivore diet (Bart Kay, Dr. Shawn Baker). Also Moy's Taoist tai chi, although high intensity exercise is the optimum sign of health. Never stop and good luck.

[@lovelover4408]

My god, (or goddess!) - I’m so glad I found you. My best friend in college was a butch lesbian who transitioned in the past few years, and it always felt so homophobic to say yes, she’s a man, she’s really just been a man all along; and I was so afraid about her health and that she would think she’s too far gone and that she would feel so alone. But here you are! You’re a little older than we are and you’re off T and you’re happier and you’re finding community. I can’t tell you how much hope it gives me. Thank you so much for sharing your story, I hope I can show her your videos someday.

[@magickcircle]

“Living authentically is a true strength. Living authentically means living exactly as you are!” Wow, that was such a great video! You touched on so many things, thank you so much, Carol.

[@lizicadumitru9683]

As someone who's very NOT artistically inclined, the idea of clay molding the vulva is real neat! These look so awesome!

[@amorfati7907]

You have a gentle kind beautiful voice

[@Olly116]

Your KZbin channel is much needed. I’m a lesbian woman turning 29 & I have realised I have some sort of internalised homophobia (Which I need to work on, overcome). I’m also masculine presenting but very much in touch with my feminine side. It’s nice to see You a proud butch woman. Thank you for educating me with this channel sending love from the UK 🇬🇧

[@ellenfitzgerald3472]

Seeing your humor and bravery helps me being the butch that I am. Thanks so much for gifting us with your perspective.

[@4651adri]

Listening to your story is very healing. From a woman to another one I think you're beautiful ❤️. Thanks for sharing, Carol🙏🏻

[@mantis044]

Thank you soo much for making these videos. This stuff is so important to talk about. As a mid-20s butch lesbian with sex dysphoria & trauma, your videos mean more to me than I can express. ❤❤❤

[@SourPatches2077]

I’m very happy to hear that. You are the reason I do these. ❤️

[@karicoleman3548]

I appreciate you being so straightforward and reasonable. Thank you.

[@rebekahcolours4954]

"Sorry for rejecting my natural existence." That's deep, Carol; I 💗 it.

[@deborahmartinez385]

Beautiful words! I’m just a straight woman that happens to find you by chance. Loved this video it even talked to me. There is not a right way to be a woman…just celebrating womanhood in your own way!

[@Anarcho-Communist895]

I'm also a straight woman and ran into this channel by accident. She's very interesting.

[@chewyyy8602]

Thank you for sharing your story, Carol. The tips and tricks you shared are so practical. It brought tears to my eyes as a cis-woman (never had any thoughts or actions about being trans) but what you described around acceptance and appreciation of the female body, its weirdness and absurdity, the way it jiggles, the way it changes over time was so powerful, and is something that all born females definitely go through.

[@bastetowl3258]

the category “cis woman” doesn’t exist. there’s only women and then men that call themselves women. no matter what clothes a woman wears, how short or long her hair is, or how much testosterone she injects in her body she’ll always be a woman

[@SarahBoyd002]

This was beyond helpful ❤️🙏🏻 Can't wait to check out the rest of your content. Thank you

[@HeatherM0891]

Carol, I've been watching your videos and they are so insightful. I really liked your comments on healing rituals and making art. Have you thought about leading workshops for detransitioned women? I think it would be really beneficial for them. Workshops about loving your female body used to be common in feminist circles, and I think they need to make a comeback.

[@SourPatches2077]

I’ve done some work in this area.

[@karini-xf6zl]

Leaving a comment in a hope your videos receive more attention. I wish there were more people like you.

[@sirSpookyToons]

Your words bring me to tears. Tysm

[@MaleOrderBride]

Love your work, Carol 🎉

[@SarahBoyd002]

Thank you so much for talking about all this, including sex and body dysphoria 🙏🏻

[@lilja4ever261]

You talk about painful things, but your message is so beautiful it brought tears to my eys.

[@scattered-idea]

Thank you for talking about this topic and your experience, I think it’s extremely valuable nowadays. I’m not butch, I’ve always been somewhat of a ‘girly girl’ but ever since I’d discovered my homosexuality, I’ve been struggling with feelings of shame regarding my female body (it was an emotional horror for me watching it change and grow… now I am grateful that it’s grown healthy and right!) and how the society views me as a woman. At that time, the start of middle school, I gave up most of the ‘girly’ things that I liked: I cut my hair ‘boy style’, I wore masculine clothes etc out of shame. Unfortunately my ‘otherness’ drove my peers crazy, they loved to bully me, so when I started high school I grew out my hair, wore what the popular girls wore, and behaved in a way I hoped to get other people to accept me. At that time I kind of forgot about the whole problem with my body but I was still very ashamed of being homosexual (you see, even using the word ‘lesbian’ is still uncomfortable for me, as it was treated as an insult when I was a kid..). The dysphoria got unbearable when the pandemic hit and I stumbled upon the whole gender thing on the internet. Because I believed there was a way out of the problem other than acceptance of my whole self, I became miserable and struggled with an eating disorder. Weirdly, the most impactful thing that gave me hope and strength to choose the path of acceptance was seeing Tomoko Kawase’s (she is a Japanese singer) performances under her ‘tommy February’ project. The key point of these performances was her femininity and I found it absolutely beautiful. Now I still have struggles, especially with my physicality, but it’s gotten to the point where I am finally comfortable. Another thing I would like to recommend for anyone struggling with similar stuff is reading about the philosophy of taoism, it talks a great deal about acceptance and the wholeness of being a human. To anyone reading, have a nice day! :))

[@needknowledge4250]

I just wanted to tell you thank you for making videos ❤️😊

[@MS-sr6mj]

Beautiful video that I'm sure is helpful to many. ❤

[@geekyogurtcup]

I appreciate you so much, Carol ❤ Thanks for opening up about this.

[@kimberlysweidy2670]

The more I listened, the more beautiful you became. Wow! Just Wow!

[@L_Martin]

30:50 “You cannot purchase your true self.” So powerful

[@halfheartdead7149]

It's interesting you talk about ritual and how as someone who saw themselves as logical, you saw them as silly. I think I felt the same too until I understood how everything we do can be seen as rituals with symbolic meaning, and to someone they may be hard doing or something they don't want to do. Like how depressed people have a hard time performing basic hygeine tasks. Humans are social animals are rituals are part of how we connect to each other; therapy itself is a kind of modern day ritual for healing. Still is evidence-based, but a kind of ritual nonetheless. I don't have gender dysphoria around my period, but used to find it distressing because I have pretty disruptive PMS symptoms, but now have reframed it as a time for reflection and change to help myself accept it.

[@MK-uz4mo]

I've known the term "objectification" for perhaps 25 years but only truly understand it when I started to read radical feminist posts and then some radical feminist theory. I took a break from radical feminism for the last few months, I have some difficulties with some of it, but I still think it is very important theory and it helped me a lot to understand things about myself and about society. I want to get back to it, even if I don't agree with everything about it or everything any radical feminist says. I really advice every woman (female) to try and read about it with open mind. I think it could help women a lot - not just trans identified females, or women who go through "gender exploration", but many other women as well. I love your channel. You are very deep thinker, open and brave, and you come to things with such healthy perspective. I guess part of it is your age, but it's not just that. You show how even a healthy, supposedly normal person could fall into this, much like supposedly normal, well adjusted people can fall into a cult, and how homosexuals people are sadly more prone to fall into it, for quite obvious reasons (homophobia & internal homophobia).

[@tea31220]

Thank you so much for sharing. I appreciate your perspective and your process. I am going through both none of any of this and all of this at the same time, so thank you for sharing.

[@thesparksoflife___]

Thank you for this ,I so relate i am bisexual grew up religous etc.. i too have lots of shame around this and so much anger inside i too have found radical feminism to be so just affirming of my female experience of opression.what has been helping me is trauma work reframing it as dissociation as well ... noticing key tramatic points talking to my inner child asking her what she thinks and feels and who she is also if you have cptsd you don't really have a self and it can be very confusing with who you are. Female goddess work as well on the feminine kali etc.. if that helps anyone . I literally relate to you so much i talk to the trees as well its so healing learning to accept myself !

[@SourPatches2077]

See! The hippy stuff works. Lol

[@thesparksoflife___]

@@SourPatches2077 ive always been one lol

[@carlinlandis8837]

Thankyou for this

[@Anarcho-Communist895]

When I had a girlie username and photo I got a significant amount of criticism and snarky remarks. I wondered what was going on. I figured out what the problem was and changed it to a neutral name and replaced the thumbnail. I definitely got treated better after that.

[@CatCattinson]

Thank you ❤

[@neva.2764]

If someone at Mc Donalds call you 'sir' then it's because they can't tell. Your facial hair (or the shade when you shaved) makes people assume you're a male. I had no clue about your gendrr until you started talking. It's interesting (sorry, I don't know a better word) to meet people that aren't clearly defined M or F. It challenges our ideas of how a woman or a man is "supposed" to look like and that's great! ❤

[@tea31220]

That last smile❤

[@InterstellarDreams]

That is absolutely beautiful! And I really resonated with so much of this! In spite of not being detrans, and never having had sex dysphoria, nor an eating disorder, myself. But still, though..? Absolutely have felt more minor discomfort with certain parts of my body, and wished that they were different! Plus have felt some of that shame, dissociation / disembodiment, and patriarchal conditioning, that I think likely ALL women are made to feel to at least SOME extent, just because men suck, (as a CLASS, not ALL individual ones), and society sucks. That I think we ALL carry with us, even if we don't know exactly how it affects us, and how much of the pain we carry as women has been caused by us living in, and being socialized into, such a male centric society. And being made to judge ourselves, and (de)value ourselves, based on the crappy, dehumanizing, objectifying standards MEN have set for us. (Example: what you mentioned about beauty standards, what a woman "should" look like, and who is or is not considered "beautiful".) Which.. we're raised to internalize it, and not question it, ("it is just how things are"), to the point that most women don't, seemingly. And we also police each other, for not measuring up to MALE standards of what we should be, to be appeasing to them, acceptable to them, and easily enslaved by them. Which.. who the f*ck gives a f*ck?? Once you get it?? Been peaking over ALL the things, this last year or so. Started out with just the GC stuff, and then you keep waking up to just MORE and more ways in which us women are controlled, indoctrinated, disempowered, and deliberately alienated from ourselves. And I think that's what I found so beautiful about this video.. (Especially being someone who really LOVES rituals, spiritual stuff, (but in a female centric way! Not a patriarchal Abrahamic one!), and all that hippy-dippy stuff! LOL. :P) That.. it's really all about RE-connecting with that power, that male dominated society has tried to take from us, and render us oblivious to! And I think that's going to be SO important to, and resonate with, ANY woman who's open to it!

[@SourPatches2077]

Thank you for that. :)

[@ruthcookeinthetradition]

"what she said"!

[@amazonen-prinzessin]

I saw a foto of you before transition and you were very pritty. You have a very nice charisma still now. I'm sorry for all that happened to you! I didn't feel disphoria, I was just uncomfortable with this damn gender roles. I stll am, but I do what I want and don't care. But transitioning was no options. When I thought about having male genitals, I did not like this idea at all. Also I concider woman much more pritty. Maybe that saved me from this experience. I took a while, till I realized that the biology is not the personality. I was grown up with this reactionary idea, I have to behave and dress "like a girl". We should tell all young girls that they can be how thy want and do everything they want and that they don't need to perform like in porn, becouse it's torture and abuse.

[@samanthathompson9812]

I recommend Dr. Lara Briden as a source for understanding the female body biologically, especially of the role of ovulation in good health totally apart from reproduction. She taught me that every ovulation is a basically a permanent deposit in your overall health bank account.

[@springwood1331]

Yet we spend at least half our lives (if we're lucky) not ovulating...

[@samanthathompson9812]

@@springwood1331 The first half sets you up for the second half.

[@orchid8053]

I found this video really interesting and I want to share my thought as part of this conversation. @5:00 “I am an adult female that’s what makes me a woman.” Respect this, but I have a very different take. What you said is SO important for people who don’t want to perform “woman” but identify as woman and so need to reclaim and expand what woman is. Very, very important! But, from my perspective - an autistic transmasc human who aspires to be a “man” - one has to think, feel and behave as woman and I don’t do any of these things. I have a female reproductive system, but what of my brain? Does the brain or the genitals make a person? I personally believe it’s the brain and just as nature throws up intersex genitals I believe it also throws up intersex brains. I don’t bleed because I am a woman, I bleed because I am an animal. I don’t think or feel like a woman, so how could I possibly be a woman? One of the biggest tells I have that I am not a woman is the fact women reject me as a woman or else read me as male (as do some men). When they realise I have female genitalia they assign me “lesbian” - I am not a lesbian! I am a masculine “female”, but I never have or never will want anything to do with women sexually! I am a "masculine female" and I am "other" and proud to be so. For me “man” and “woman” are terms for social performance/identity that changes over time and across cultures. To make man and woman terms solely reserved for genitalia erases intersex. The person who has testes wrapped around their ovaries is NOT a woman based on the logic that woman equals female genitalia - but how hurtful would it be to prevent such a person identifying as a woman if that’s how they felt inside? Another example: there is a phenomenon of giving intersex children "corrective surgery", now sometimes these kids need medical intervention to be healthy, but many do not, and many identify as “they/them” and complain of dysphoria later in life. I remember one non-binary intersex person complaining that the silicone scrotum the doctors convinced them to have implanted gave them gender dysphoria. The point being: because we are animals bound to natural laws we are diverse and whether we believe it or not diversity exists within our species! I have a masculine-lesbian friend who I think is flirting with the idea of being trans. She has female energy (just like you have female energy) and I know if she goes down the trans road she will regret it (so your content has been subtly introduced). Now, I don’t have female energy, I would love to take on a male form, but I am terrified of the negative consequences of T and your videos have affirmed to me that rejecting T has been the right decision. Vaginal atrophy? No thank you. However, while I have rejected T I think it should be available for people who would choose it despite the negative consequences - but I think those negative consequences should be communicated clearly and loudly and that T should be a last resort for gender dysphoria! It is far too easy to get on T and the negative effects are not being communicated, which is sinful and dangerous! I live with gender dysphoria, I am not happy but I am functional - and functional really ought to be the main aim! Happiness is all very well, but some people are just not meant to be happy. It’s hard to look a teen in the face and tell them the happiness they seek is unattainable, but if you value being functional over euphoric it isn’t as hard as you think. I was dysfunctional as a “failed woman”, but I am functional as transmasc/non-binary. We are social and conscious beings who need social and conscious fixes… As a species we aren’t binary biologically or behaviourally and the binary straightjacket that is applied does damaged. It’s damaged me and it’s damaged you because society hasn’t allowed you to be the woman you needed to be. Testosterone therapy is dangerous no matter your biological sex and I just wonder if the middle path - the non-binary path - is the answer for many and could prevent people going on T if it were taken seriously and became a legitimate social alternative. Neither, man, nor woman but other. Embracing being “other” has been my salvation just as embracing “woman” has been yours. As you say @24:43, “I don’t want to be in pain to make others feel comfortable!” I just wanted to share that and thank you for making this content! Just to add: I think the “butch lesbian” making a mistake by becoming a transman is a very real phenomena and what you said @11:46 -- “a coping mechanism to engage with my [lesbian] sexuality was to envisage myself as male” - is absolutely on the money. I have met too many transmen who come from narrow minded households, who struggled with their lesbian identity, loved being butch and then took it further. These people love women way too much, but are obviously ashamed of being lesbian and want to conform to “hetro-normalcy”. I also wonder too, if the femmes around them praised them for their masculine attributes and thus groomed them into thinking, ‘I’ll be even more impressive on T!’ Just wonder...

[@SourPatches2077]

I appreciate your perspective and thoughts on this. But I must ask, what is female energy? And I’m read as male pretty often too. I was harassed all my life for “acting like a boy” . As far as intersex that is a medical condition & those folks are still male or female. Just because there is variation in the species doesn’t mean there aren’t clear male female lines. There is medical proof of intersex bodies but there is none for brains. And all brain sex studies so far have not been able to clearly define or differentiate male and female brains with good accuracy. All that said, I don’t really care if there is male brains or female brain or what every, I don’t believe medicalizing yourself is good or healthy. I also don’t believe in cosmetic procedures or weigh loss surgeries. I believe our society sells identities to us and I don’t believe in engaging with that.

[@orchid8053]

@@SourPatches2077 Female energy? Well, I think everybody has an “energy”. I am not sure if this is a spiritual thing or the manifestations of genetic codes in our behaviour. Whatever it is, energy is instinctual to people as well as subjective. To me, you look, behave and feel female, which I have to say is unusual for people who have (de)transitioned. I’ve interacted with many transwomen, transmen and gay men and women and each group has a different energy. The transwomen I’ve encountered are definitely NOT men and often feel and behave neurotypically female. The transmen I encounter, however, often feel more “neutral” than male, but not always. You don’t even feel neutral, you “feel” female, which I am hoping is a compliment! I am beginning to learn that ‘female masculinity’ is very important to some women (as is ‘male femininity’) and if it’s squashed in girls who needed to express it, then it causes all sorts of emotional and developmental damage. Being female/woman has nothing to do with "make-up" and other performative behaviours, the female is a powerful energy (or at least it can be) and you feel female in this sense. I am sorry - but no - intersex people are not still male or female, that is why they are described intersex! The fact they may feel “male” or “female” doesn’t mean they are, which is why people’s innate internal identities should be honoured and enabled by society. And again, you are wrong - biological sex is not strictly speaking binary, it is bimodal. Male and female genitalia are actually the same tissues with different genetic and hormonal instructions which is why there is such variation in genitalia and why intersexed genitalia happens. Now the brain is tricky…just because we don’t have the tools to differentiate “sex” differences in the brain now doesn’t mean they’re not there. Scientists have identified a distinct difference in the brains of male goats who engage in homosexual behaviour, but are unable (yet) to identify differences in human brains, but if homosexuality is not a choice, then there has to be a biological basis for it. I believe it to be the case with transgender. I am not saying that transgender brains are “male” or “female”, on the contrary they are transgender brains. I can’t prove this, but I suspect this based on my own lived experience and observations of others. In your case I might even be bold enough to suggest that you never truly had gender dysphoria, but internalised misogyny and homophobia that manifested as gender dysphoria and this was acute enough to fool doctors. This is not a criticism, but a very serious point that ought to be considered in the context of other gender-non-confirming women who have been made to feel less by society - because whether it is gender dysphoria or internalised misogyny/homophobia it is still emotional pain felt by the individual, and any pain needs to be taken seriously. I’d like to ask you a question, but first I want to express my view. For me the damage of the male-gaze only goes so far, and I think criticism of the “female-gaze” needs to happen. I think women have a lot to answer for for the way they deliberately make other women feel about themselves. I remember high school and I remember how the same vain bitches tried to make me feel second class because of my innate masculinity and then called me lesbian in the hope I was thinking about them at night. How the same type of woman who criticised me thinks I want to go down on her because I am masculine. I am not a lesbian and I detest these kinds of women! But that is my take on a me situation. I watch how women use their sexuality to make other women feel inferior, how mothers praise their sons and tear their daughters down for being “too fat” or for “having no pride in their appearance” and so I want to ask you what is your take on all this? Do you think women are part of the problem that contributes towards internalised misogyny, homophobia and self-hatred in gender non-conforming females?

[@SourPatches2077]

@@orchid8053 yes I do think women are also cruel to gender nonconforming women. Even if there is an “energy” of maleness or femaleness like you say, this still does not mean the medicalizing the body is right, ethical or healthy. As far as intersex conditions I think you might need to do alittle more research on those. Male and female is biologically defined by gametes. Does the human produce sperm or egg? Yes things can get a little mixed up but that does not mean these people are not male or female. There is no 3rd sex. I find it very cruel to assume intersex folks are not men or women. Intersex is also not common. Especially the more extreme cases. I don’t believe intersex even should be in this conversation of gender, transition or gender identity.

[@orchid8053]

@@SourPatches2077 @SourPatches2077 Well, I think women are a huge part of the problem and I’d like to see it discussed. As a “culture” they are accountable for an awful lot of identity issues in young women and I never see it addressed. Maybe you’d like to make a video on this? No, biological sex is not just defined by gametes, it is also defined by chromosomes (that are in every cell of the body bar the gametes), gonads (that contain gametes) and hormones. There are also secondary sex characteristics of which behaviour is also a part of. Sexual differentiation is very, very complicated and definitions at the cutting edge of study change or become more complex in response to data. “Man” and “woman” is a false concept of reality that serves the majority of people. But I am the minority and I want to feel as comfortable as they do, and I am very definitely a ‘they’ not a ‘she’ and I don’t see why I should suffer to make other people more comfortable. Intersex people by their very nature are NOT male or female that is why they are intersex, and I suspect the reason you find this cruel is because it distorts the false reality you want to affirm yourself with. (Note: obviously we need to use the preferred pronouns of intersex people to affirm their gender identity and make them comfortable! And I cannot talk for intersex people only direct you to intersex speakers. See below.) I think intersex absolutely should be a part of the conversation - at least in the science of biological sex and gender as a socio-psychological phenomenon! Evolution is not “designed” and material reality can be a bitch. For instance, there is no "logical" reason why homosexuality should exist, but it does, and it probably does because it has social advantage that maybe in a nuanced grey area of a little bit of “intersex” brain wiring. It would be a wonderful world if there were only men and women and we were all happy being men and women, but that is not the case and it never was and it never will be. There is no grand design, only codes that are passed on, and as a highly social species maybe the blurring of sexual characteristic is what makes us successful through diversity. Homosexuals exist, intersex exists - so why not trans? And if it doesn't exist does it really matter if it's a delusion if it makes people more functional "being so"? We are a delusional species that makes sense of the world through self-created symbols -- I mean god is a delusion, but the concept comforts a lot of people and helps them make sense of their lives. And we are social creatures - never once has somebody dropped their pants and introduced themselves by their genitals or god forbid gametes. We are social, we have brains and an internal landscape that goes way beyond our junk - so preferred pronouns maybe the civil, logically social way to go! See, when I found your content I thought I’d found somebody who had found themselves as a masculine-woman in the midst of testosterone therapy and wanted to communicate their experience for others to learn from. However, other parts of your content reveal that you are - for want of a a better term - a transgender denier! I don’t think trying to erase other people’s experience of being transgender or intersex is a good direction to go in. Your main message is being lost. I get it: you made a mistake in thinking you were transgender and had a really bad experience, so please, do not fall into the trap of erasing other people’s experience because you made a mistake and had a bad experience. Just because you aren’t transgender doesn’t mean other people aren’t! There is a very real possibility that you have never experienced gender dysphoria because you are not transgender - rather you had internalised misogyny and homophobia that you (and doctors) mistook for gender dysphoria! And that is a VERY serious issue that I think is happening with other women! And you could actually help these people realise this before they make a mistake -- but you can’t do this by alienating transgender and gender non-conforming people! Like it or not, I am transgender and autistic, and I agree with you that medicalizing the body isn’t entirely safe - can be very dangerous for some - and this needs to be communicated clearly -- which it isn’t -- and that is wrong! I want to be "male", but I don’t want the risk of testosterone, so something as simple as they/them helps to make me functional as a person. That is my truth and my lived experience. It’s a compromise, but I am a compromised person and always will be because I am transgender and autistic…and listening to what T has done to you has given me some comfort that my decision to not medicalise is the right one (for me). I found your strategies to connect with your body in this video very moving. I have similar strategies to deal with my pain, but for me I am healing with my clitoris by embracing it as a "pseudo-penis". I am so glad you have found yourself, and I hope everybody finds themselves in a way that they can be functional and hopefully a little bit happy too. There is a fine line between masculine-women and transmasculine-people, but there are differences as well as similarities. And so, the problem between camps arises when those differences - as well as similarities - are not acknowledged and honoured respectfully. I think masculinity is important to both camps and that both camps - if they’re are honest - have had serious shit from men AND women. Women are not guiltless here.... The butch lesbian who mistakes herself for being a man seems to be a very real phenomenon and it comes down to their family not allowing them the space to grow into the women they needed to be. But equally there are "daughters" that need to grow to be men/other…and yet medical transition can be dangerous. My argument is: just because medical transition isn’t safe doesn’t mean social transition isn’t and if they/them - or preferred pronouns - could save somebody from going through what you went through wouldn’t you use them? There has to be an alternative to medical transition and that alternative lies in culture/the social. I truly believe everyone needs space to be the most functional person they can be. I think you will really enjoy this book ‘Bitch: A Revolutionary Guide to Sex, Evolution and the Female Animal Hardcover’ by Lucy Cooke: www.amazon.co.uk/Bitch-Female-Species-Lucy-Cooke/dp/0857524135/ref=sr_1_14?crid=1AIR6ZVYSX9F1&keywords=bitch&qid=1646159570&s=books&sprefix=bitch%2Cstripbooks%2C55&sr=1-14 And below are some TedTalks where intersex people discuss their lived experience as well as articles discussing the complexity of sexual differentiation. Emily uses her own lived experience as intersex to reframe how we think about biological sex and challenge society’s insistence of binary-conformity: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qaW4nZKFltWIqdE Ray discusses their lived experience as intersex and the damage society does to intersex children in trying to “correct” them: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jaGzhZljZZWUmJI SCIENTIFIC AMERICA, article sharing a detailed chart of sex differentiation: www.scientificamerican.com/article/beyond-xx-and-xy-the-extraordinary-complexity-of-sex-determination/ SCIENTIFIC AMERICA, article discussing complexities of biological sex: www.scientificamerican.com/article/sex-redefined-the-idea-of-2-sexes-is-overly-simplistic1/ I don't know if you want to continue to engage me or say farewell. I truly wish you all the best and I am really please that you've found "her". She is the first power and the origin of all life. Amen *

[@Beadledom2024]

Being socialized as a girl will forever make us a woman, too. Boys dont use their facial muscles in tune with their emotions and speaking like a third hand gesturing. When you rest your face (affectionately called the resting bi±ch face) with hands still, you look male. As soon as you start speaking, your smile, eyebrows, cheeks, head movement, and hand gestures, immediately the beauty of your femininity awakens. That is social learning, not DNA. Trans women can look really pretty and girlie with beautiful manicured nails and jewelry, up until they use their hands, trying to mimic how they think women use hands. As soon as they move their wrist, their thumbs, immediately they are noted as male. Men use their hands, and their faces, not as women do. This can not be changed fully, as socialization to our birth gender began in the womb by our environment. I love your art. And all great advice here. I notice you are still tintured by the porn, because you don't see the wrongness of putting vulva and vaginas art on public trails and on trees, where families, children, also share and walk. That is pornagraphic, inappropriate. Before you get grumpy at me, just think on this for a bit. Being desensitized towards porn is hard to heal. You say in a recent video you are working on healing from the porn and kink and boundary deterioration that trans lifestyle is seeped in, and I see evidence you are working on that health recovery. Indeed how important and lovely to return to virtue of mind, of body, of practice and viewpoint, of cleanliness in thought, word, and deed. Thus, perhaps not putting exposed and stylized sexual organs art in public spaces that families and children traverse, and allowing feeling of shame around such inappropriate behavior is part of that return to boundaries and virtue. (Shame is healthy and important, such as the eyes of our community upon us, even in shame, assists in building moral reasoning of the individual and ethical and lawful cohesion for society as a whole. The concept of shame is another part of humanity that gets warped, misused, abused, rejected, and/or removed by the ill ones and evil ones around us). The art is beautiful, and healing for you, yet I invite you to feel shame at your boundary violation in the public displaying of it; and in this way, take more of your boundaries back. Folks that stand for nothing, who have tried everything, and have no boundaries or lines in the sand left inside of them, will try to tell you there is no such things as "normal" or "wrong," or "shameful." They will steal your boundaries and fill the empty space with depravity and abnormality. In truth, they have nothing good left to destroy in their own self, so they seek to destroy what good they see in you. There absolutely exists states of normality and abnormality, as well as inalienable and nontransferable universal laws of morality, a true dichotomy between right and wrong, of virtue and depravity, of good and evil. Uh...okay...enough words. I hope you get my point. I gave a 👍 to the video. You earned it, for sure. I look forward to hearing more from you.

[@SourPatches2077]

Nudity is not pornographic. Especially in art. We all came from the female form, it’s not gross or bad.

[@tec7600]

❤

[@tamtrinh174]

biology won!

[@victoriapowell6318]

4:55 - facts. And that is what makes a lot of us angry with what these "trans-humanists" are saying, the words they try to change and use, their entire perspective. It has nothing to do with "transphobia", it has to do with (1) Yes, people should be accepted BUT (2) the majority still gets to dictate the social construct, and that is a woman = adult human female. Period. How you "present" is your choice, your personality - but you are what you were born as. End of story. No male in a dress and makeup, no matter how "passing" they are, is a woman. That is fact and that is how we want it to stay. @ 6:45 - women may be treated differently, but I don't know that I agree that they are treated "sub-human". That's a fairly radical perspective, so I wouldn't agree with "sub-human". I think getting rid of porn should be #1 on the list. Just completely disengage with it and keep it that way.

[@tamtrinh174]

"beautiful" i'm sorry 🤣🤣

[@penthehuman]

♥️