HOW I LEARNED TO LOVE MY 4C NATURAL HAIR! Chit Chat GRWM | KandidKinks

Hey guys! In today's video I'm talking all about how I learned to love my hair, and how you can to! I hope this was helpful and relatable.
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HOW I LEARNED TO LOVE MY 4C NATURAL HAIR! Chit Chat GRWM | KandidKinks
FTC Disclosure- This video may contain affiliate links.. it is not sponsored 🙂
#kandidkinks #naturalhair #type4hair #4chair #chitchatgrwm #getreadywithme

[@KandidKinks]

Heyyy! What helped you learn to love your hair??

[@cosmosprincess20]

Wearing her out more often helped me! 😃 🙂

[@briannaclarke2597]

Seeing other people love their hair helped me😁

[@karenhorton148]

You did!!!

[@shaniquenoyan444]

Learning what styles work for my hair and make me feel most confident. Learning to appreciate with comparison also helped alot!

[@Iwasonceanonionwithnolayers]

Having to do it. I didn't know how when my mom said I had to start doing my own hair. I just used to comb it with vaseline and cry when it wouldn't go through. I begged for a relaxer, but when that had to stop I was right back where I started. Luckily I found the natural hair community then and learned the basics. I found the beauty in it when I unlocked the mystery of how my hair actually worked. She can do amazing things if you treat her right!

[@kimmycola8832]

I notice that I get more attention when my hair is straightened vs when its in its natural state but that just means when I wear my hair natural I'll attract the RIGHT people and the people who love me for me.

[@KandidKinks]

Facts! I also get more attention when I have long box braids/twists

[@Shalayah2010]

soo ppl can't love you for you if your hair is straightened?

[@adayinthelight7575]

Ashon C. That would be correct. Some people have issues with kinky hair. If you meet a guy and your hair is straight make sure he sees your hair naturally too.

[@Shalayah2010]

@@adayinthelight7575 you're right

[@vanessam4980]

I'm obsessed with how flawlessly your skin reflects light. It's so unbelievably smooth. You're gorgeous

[@Ash_9]

I thought I loved my hair until my sister did a wash and go and had a looser texture than mine and I thought we were both in the same hair struggle. It revealed some unaddressed hair envy. I definitely have more work to do.

[@KandidKinks]

Thank you for this comment. Lots of us have been there and I think it’s so important to acknowledge it. Your hair is beautiful 🖤

[@fefemyluv]

I honestly never had an issue with not liking my 4C hair. I think I fell deeper in love when my bush grew large. It reminds me so much of the beautiful women back in the day. Something about moisturized, kinky hair has always been so powerful and gorgeous to me. I guess that’s why I never did wash and gos and very few twist/braid outs. I appreciate it so much just as is. But that’s just me.

[@sportster832]

This video is very much needed. Once I learned to love my hair as an extension of me, I stopped seeing hair care as a burden. Once you truly embrace your hair you will realize that most times “bad hair days” were mainly a mindset thing. Also unlearning unhealthy comparison just allows me to have fun with my hair and love it for how it looks on me not how it would look on someone else. I really want all Black women to enjoy their hair in its uniqueness. We deserve that.

[@KandidKinks]

Yes yes yes!

[@theamethyst93]

Honestly I love my 4c hair now. I didn’t always feel that way but now I’m super comfortable with it and I actually feel really uncomfortable and self conscious when I have a wig on. I feel like everyone is staring at the wig and the hairline and trying to clock. I just can’t do the wigs. I always used to struggle with my hair when I was trying to make it into something it wasn’t. As soon as I stopped trying to look like an Instagram model 24/7, my hair started flourishing and it’s so healthy now. I don’t lay my edges anymore and suprise surprise, they’re thicker than ever now. And in my experience it’s other black people that are the most uncomfortable with my hair. When you have 4c hair a lot of black people look at you like you’re crazy and make rude comments like you’re doing something wrong by not hiding your hair. It’s like they think you’re exposing them by showcasing your hair.

[@michelle_ajema]

It's weird how black people with 4c hair give you dirty looks and comments for having...4c hair.

[@l.w.8591]

All facts!! I’m going to my grave in flat twist or twist styles. It has worked for me and my lifestyle, everything else has been a hit and miss on my hair. Your so right, you have to do what’s best for your hair and lifestyle that’s it and that’s all!!!

[@KandidKinks]

Literally that’s ALL lolol thanks for watching

[@dejia3912]

For me, learning to love my hair was absolutely necessary because weaves were the reason I cut my hair off; I would not afford a wig 8 years ago; and I’m lazy. I had to learn to love and embrace what I had because it was mine and I was stuck with it. After years of quick weave and neglect, embracing my natural was a relief. I hope the people that need to hear this ministry already tune in or find this video. The “hate my hair” videos with a high concentration of negativity aren’t adding any value to this space. Your positivity and realism is much appreciated. Great video as always!

[@charesse1]

What helped me love my 4c hair honesty was time and watching KZbin channels like yours. Also realized my hair loves water more than anything else. (I can't flat twist or cornrow either) Enjoyed your video!

[@shari-leedavis1576]

As much my hair can sometimes frustrate me, I learned to love my hair when I realized how versatile it can be! I have type 3 and I'm from the Caribbean and certain hairstyles are still not accepted so its a bit tough to experiment with hairstyles but me and my girl we got each other!

[@ramoyarichardson5823]

The fact that my hair will always be this way. I could jherri curl, relax or texturize and it is still the same. It's the same type of hair coming out of my scalp and that's how God designed it, it will always be highly dense and healthy.

[@bookertdancergirll]

tearing up watching this + Breonna Taylor wow what a day

[@eveb1697]

Yesterday was heavy, sis. I hope you're feeling better today.

[@godlovesusall8115]

I think it's so interesting how hair works out. I get dryness when I do wash and go's but it can handle bleaching and heat in an amazing way

[@Bgabria]

I’m still learning to love mine, the only style I can actually do is a wash and go but they don’t last and twist outs be looking a mess on day 1 and take way too long 😩. I feel stuck right now but I’m still watching and learning

[@TBella1226]

This video made perfect sense. I'm gonna be honest. I loved my natural hair out the gate!! From the first clip of the scissors hunny!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣 I was rid of that relaxer and that's all I cared about!!*SNAPS!' Now, did I get frustrated now and then.. HELL YASSS!! LOLL!! After I did my final hair cut and grew my hair out this last time, I learned to be more open-minded and relax, enjoy frizz, volume more and this go around had been sooooo much better with dealing with my hair!! Great video sis!! 👌🏾☺❤

[@karenhorton148]

Go on and Preach Sally!😂🤣😂 But seriously though, I’m so glad I found you at the start of my journey. We don’t have the same hair type but you’ve been a godsend. I was blessed to like someone on KZbin who knows who she is and loves herself completely. Love you Lexi doll❤️

[@KandidKinks]

I appreciate you!! I’m glad I’ve been able to help

[@karenhorton148]

KandidKinks You’ve been a dream come true❤️ Thank you so much🌹

[@sannpaz]

REWATCH: I really do miss your sit down and chit-chat videos, always informative and encouraging 😊

[@KandidKinks]

Wow thanks for this! I be feeling like I don’t want to hear people talk so I assume people don’t want to hear me talk lmaoo but I’m gonna get out of that !

[@julietteanne6570]

Wow, you are just what we need during these times. I have unsubscribed to a lot of people, so you are a positive addition to my subscriptions. And yes I know you are still human sis:)

[@Seia894]

I love your honesty. I used to feel less than compared to the visuals I was seeing online. Especially last year. This year I am still learning about myself and learning to appreciate aspects of myself day by day. Social media is very toxic to a person’s mental health. I’m taking a break from it. It’s harmful to see murder on my feed to promote social justice/ a need for equality. And honestly it’s disrespectful to human life/ family of the victims to constantly see the last moments of someone’s life and the trauma they faced prior to their murders.

[@nikamoff5835]

I’m 4b /4c love my hair 🥰!!!!! However I primarily keep her protected and I love on her while protected & when I take my hair down for TLC!!!❤️ people always ask me when your going to let your hair down, protective styling is just soooo fitting for my active on the go lifestyle & I love the low maintenance!!!!

[@idoyes1400]

I appreciate this positive video about our beautiful crowns!!! We needed this!!

[@BBBb-sn3fu]

I agree with you sis. I'm glad you are able to wash your hair all at once, you do what works for you, unfortunately I wash my hair in 2 sections just because I have an uber amount of hair, lol; but we all do what works for us. Good video, yes I love seeing you do your hair.

[@miniminott48]

Love you, Lexi. I look forward to your videos and I confess that I hit the like button before I start watching because I know the quality of your content never fails. This video was no exception. It was quite thought-provoking. I am a new natural having big chopped a year and 6 months ago after years of relaxers. I started relaxing my hair at age 18 so I knew my natural hair pattern and texture. I am what is now classified as 4A/3C and I love my hair. I stopped relaxing my hair immediately after the dress code at my job of many years changed to accommodate natural hairstyles. I feel free and I am not hung up on curl definition although my hair clumps easily. My wash and gos are literal wash and gos, no gel, which gives my medium density hair the appearance of volume owing to the shrinkage, which I embrace. I wear twists frequently and finger coils on rare occasions now that my hair length is in the 9 to 10 inch range. Thank you for all your hair care tips. I use sulphate shampoos unapologetically because they cleanse my hair and in my opinion, help to preserve my hair health.

[@THECARANESHA]

Absolutely gorgeous 😍 I definitely went through a short phase of rejecting my hair buuuuut I quickly learned to expose myself to things that would contribute to my confidence not make me feel inadequate. Thank you those beautiful words 🥰🥰

[@Rose_Garden1312]

Girrlllll! Just watched Good Hair for the first time yesterday. So glad I did and so glad he made that. Great points in here and honestly I'm finally in a state of MYOB. For me to mind my own business and whatever people want to do with their hair (and life honestly), back up and let them do it and if they don't like what I do.... MYOB too 🤣

[@missbee1451]

Loving that headband!

[@dorethamcelliott4900]

For a long time I wouldn't go anywhere without a scarf or hat on because I didn't like my hair. I have never been into wearing wigs or braids, I have worn a weave where I could leave my front out so I chose not to go anywhere. One day after struggling I just said TO HELL WITH IT and wore my hair out and my niece said how much she loved it and from that day on I started wearing my hair. I started embracing my porosity, my texture, my curl pattern (which I'm still not sure of) just loving everything about me, FLAWS AND AL, GOOD BAD AND INDIFFERENCE (I don't use the term ugly anymore. They call it a journey for a reason and it has helped in other areas of my life. So just be patient and embrace what GOD gave you.

[@memefree3101]

I have tried for years to beat my hair into twist out submission. Did a wash n go for the first time and my hair thanked me. After 9 years I've learned that my hair likes its shrunken state better. You just never know until you try something

[@thyladyhyacinth]

I had to remember that when I went back natural, it was actually to stop chemically changing the texture of my hair. I had to learn to ignore the natural hair community's overall anger with black hair texture and obsession with putting everyone in a box and style my natural hair however I want.

[@nicolemichele1343]

Im just now accepting my natural hair and wearing it out more and I hated hated the awkward stage but now I'm more focused on the health and it's better to braid it at night so it's a love hate relationship rn 😂

[@paulamckenzie2356]

I love your sprit, yes and learning what your hair loves is the way forward to loving and appreciate what you have.👍👍

[@kalynwhitehead763]

My shrinkage helped me love my hair because I loved how my coils looked. Also question for anyone: how do you sleep with a braid out? Like how do you preserve the look?

[@KandidKinks]

I slap a bonnet on over a pineapple. When my hair was shorter I’d just put the bonnet on. If I’m trying to get length and stretch I rebraid at night

[@kalynwhitehead763]

KandidKinks Thank you!

[@akampuriradorothy7027]

your skin oh my God😍😍

[@theblackempath]

"WHO ARE YOUUU??!?" 😂 I used to be able to twist my hair when it was shorter and as it has grown, it tends to unravel easily. For this reason, I almost never do twist outs anymore and I've learned that keeping it in braids keeps it tight and tucked. Every now and then I'll do a wash n go to appreciate my shrinkage and natural texture, even though it turns into a frizzy afro in a couple of days

[@idoyes1400]

I hope this video makes it on afrikanhairgods next LIVE..!!!

[@casbrown1972]

My momma told me to comment immediately about how beautiful you are. She popped up while I was watching and has stood two inches from the tv the whole time. 🥰🥰 What helped me love my hair is just feeling more connected to my blackness. I think I held on to relaxers to be more marketable in white America and I hate that I did. 😔

[@KandidKinks]

Thank you so much and I understand completely

[@sebom2014]

I always knew exactly what kind of hair I had but I was always relaxed cause my mum couldn’t handle it natural, It was very dense and 4c. When I realized that my related hair was always breaking and I hated how it looked I was extremely open to wearing it naturally

[@katrinalisa7008]

Great chat video girl. Real talk. I love it. You just have to stop comparing yourself to other. And do what you love and enjoy. That's the key of happiness. 💯👊🏾🤷🏾‍♀️❣

[@Timetrae]

I completely agree with you! Learning my hair is what made me love her!!! When she stopped fighting me on wash day because I didn’t understand that she didn’t like the products I was using it was like a whole new world opened up!!! I saw her begin to flourish in all her glory and fell completely in love with her!!

[@Timetrae]

Yes ma’am!! 🤣🤣🤣 i SWORE I was gonna have Whitney’s hair!!! 🤣🤣🤣 I didn’t want to return to sender but it took some work to figure her out!!

[@nikamoff5835]

Yes Gel is definitely a no go I learned that a long time ago. My hair doesn’t like it.

[@Neosoul_prima]

I think at this point I love your texture, your personality, and your beauty just as much as you do sis🤣🤣🤣 keep shining sis!!! This was definitely the word of the day!

[@ayeshaalhaqq1566]

Thank you so much for this. Growing up, I was always told that I had thick coarse hair. Now as an adult trying to navigate my natural hair I'm realizing that my hair is more on the fine low density side and probably low porosity too. I've been natural for a couple years (and probably in denial as well) but now it feels like I have to start all over again with learning to love my hair. Its really ghetto out here sometimes so thanks for the great content 💜

[@bebe3674]

Great video! Representation matters and us type 4 naturals don't have many on here (at least who arent trying to manipulate their strands to be something its not) so i appreciate you and your channel. I'm grateful to have loved my natural hair pretty early in the process. And like you now with my self love, confidence and hair love through the roof no one cam tell me nothin!

[@tiajackson2667]

Lexi, I absolutely love this video! You pretty much nailed everything that I was thinking after watching a couple of the people that I'm subscribed to, I'm not here to put anybody on blast because I still do like some of their content but here as of late I just feel it's real negative. Also, the things that you touched on in the video about loving your hair, and developing your own routine and figuring out your hair your texture your everything and your content that you put into your body and mind is definitely key. I know that was a huge run-on sentence! Lol. So you asked if anyone was feeling the same way that you were feeling or agreed I should say. Well I'm here to tell you that I do. And I do have goals for my hair, length goals. But after developing a routine and figuring out that I can do a lot of the things that I see natural hair influencers do just made everything easier for me. And now I'm enjoying it. So keep pushing this content in this narrative. It's positive and I feel like this is what a lot of people need to hear right now. I wish that this video came out months ago while I was still trying to figure it out and maybe I would have felt better back then instead of having to figure it out all on my own. But I'm glad I did and I'm glad that there's someone else out there that feels the exact same way.

[@xoxarily]

I love my hair but issue is, I put in all this effort to moisturize, trim, protective style and it hasn’t grown at all from the same spot at the beginning of my journey (never did a big chop or had any damage I just started caring for it properly) which was nearly three years ago. And I be seeing girls who actually big chopped like two years ago and their hair is longer than mine. But I guess I still haven’t figured out a routine or staple products (besides Shea butter). It’s just really upsetting. But I love her. Trying new styles and succeeding, feeling her softness, and caring for her is fun.

[@KandidKinks]

I would honestly have a consultation with a stylist.. if nothing is working I’d hate for you to feel this way for much longer! I know the feeling!

[@soraya.e5482]

stop protective styling that's your problem

[@sisisjssieissb8712]

Lexi what do think about dying grey hair black? I am going grey

[@daniellarodriguez1801]

I loved this. I am getting to know my natural hair and how to take care of her. Thank you for the video. I love how my hair is so fluffy and big. I am taking care of what I see on Internet, because I think what we see is gonna impact the way we view ourselves. Being confident in our skin should be something more talked about

[@daisyflower1545]

I fully agree in finding a style that works for you. I have been natural for 3 years and my twitsouts still dokt come out nearly as good and I've used all the popular twisting creams. My hair also knots and tangles and breaks more Wash n gos are better for me. It always comes out beautiful and since I use gel with some hold, my hair lasts and surprisingly I don't experiences as many knots and tangles or breakage and I have mostly 4b hair with a dash of 4c and 4a in some sections. My hair loves cowashes and hates shampoos. I haven't shampoed my hair in months and we're both fine lol. I switch between cowashes and claywashes. It's all about working with your hair

[@candicem9651]

Excellent video and message, Lexi.

[@daniellesmith4688]

Hi beautiful! I'm definitely one of the internet friends! And thanks to Gods plan I had the blessing of meeting you in person which turned into something beautiful 🥰🥰 I most definitely agree with too many points you mentioned to even name! From being careful of what content to consume because a subconscious thing happens that makes you feel less than to understanding what your hair loves and dont love. I cannot do wash and Gos because of #tangled. And I used to think and still working on loving my hair. Crazy is it hasn't been easy loving my natural hair...and that's a sad thing to admit. Following you has made me learn to love my hair. If I can think you are beautiful and lovely melanin with big, bold wonderful hair....then it challenges my beauty ideals for myself. I definitely need a professional trim and I think a head full of single strand knots is really affecting my level of frustration. So once this protective style is out I'm going to do that. Thank you for sharing and encouraging and informing and loving us ❤❤❤❤

[@MsHoneyFly11]

Hey Lexi! I wore wigs for a whole year straight. 😩But I took pics every washday right out of the shower. That began the love affair with my hair. I remember following a wash n go from a YTer with the same length as mine and of course she didn’t have a hint of frizz anywhere on her head but I did. So I just loved the areas that weren’t frizzy and I still felt that my hair was beautiful. After a few washes I learned about single strand knots so I stopped the wash n goes and just twisted her up to get this cute semi curly fro that I loved. I def feel like natural hair defines your facial features better than straight hair. Seeing my daughter go natural first gave me a lot of insight and patience with my own hair as well BTW: love how your lashes show up with just a little mascara. Is that beauty envy? 😊

[@wayNAY87]

Love the confidence. Your camera makes the video so clear. Good investment.

[@kazirahrose278]

Thank you for being an inspiration for us out there with or kinks and coils and shining your light 💙

[@tewaa23]

I don't think I've ever had an issue with my hair. I partly owe it to the fact that when I first had my 'big chop', I didn't know anything about natural hair youtube, and all I know is that I had cut my hair😂. So I didn't know the terms and all. And I also partly owe it to my mother always telling me that my hair is really nice and even followed suit with her own big chop😂. And finally I always had braids cos in my school, either you have short hair or braided hairstyles(I'm from Ghana btw). But I recently started feeling "insecure" when I stopped doing braids and realised I hadn't really been taking care of my hair so it had been at a standstill for quite sometime😪. But this video has calmed me down a bit🙂

[@HealyMeans]

hi Lexi 🤗 i appreciate that you are always here to be real - that's why i keep watching your videos. another awesome upload. tfs

[@adriennekirkland719]

Thank you , I LOVE YOU TRUE VIBE!! #SelfCONFIDENCE ❤️

[@tamalaturner265]

I love what you're saying. God bless you!

[@karynbrooks9920]

Can you please talk about why wash n go can cause bald spots, breakage or shedding?

[@Vrob16]

Love, love, love this video! Self love is key! Thank you for sharing...very helpful!

[@sisisjssieissb8712]

Lexi it so great that you are showing us natural girls how to look after our hair. You always show us all how to use different products that may improve our natural hair. Your always so positive and happy when you show us how to do our natural hair and makeup. Much love S

[@angellafrancis9726]

I agree with this content talk di tings!

[@dominiquereece8545]

I remember sitting next to a girl with 3c hair in a car and I have never felt sooo self aware, so envious, so ugly in a moment. I've been told I wasnt enough growing up and then sitting next to someone with hair I've always wanted, just emphasized that insecurity.

[@loritaobijiaku9232]

Hope ur doing okey now

[@LeahGenae]

I love you channel! I wanted to get your mascara combo, but I can’t find the lov mascara is there another kind you like?

[@KandidKinks]

Hey! This is one of my favorites from Ulta go.magik.ly/ml/je4e/

[@LeahGenae]

KandidKinks ok thank you so much

[@monicaDD]

I was shook when I got my first big chop. Literally ran to the store trying to buy everything I could to make my hair curl cause I had to go to work the next day. Of course they didn’t “work”. The next day I walked into work like the boss I was ignoring the stares and whispers. By the end of the day I was like “oh.... I gotta not give AF” and been that way ever since. It’s truly US who can be discouraging. Black people try to police me every now and then....until they find out what I do. Sad how their attitude changes but oh well.

[@AmbarGerman]

Absolutely loved and enjoyed the video!!! Many ppls will feel triggered lol

[@KandidKinks]

I damn near triggered myself 😭

[@AmbarGerman]

KandidKinks ain't that what the trut' does? 😂😂😂 #keepingitreal

[@God.is.good.]

Jesus Christ is coming back sooner than you might expect, be ready and prepare to go with Him! Salvation prayer: Father I pray with my heart and believe in You Jesus Christ. I believe you died for me. I acknowledge that i'm a sinner, please forgive my sins. Wash me with Your precious blood. Come into my heart, save my soul today. Be my LORD and personal Saviour. I accept you today. In Jesus' name. Amen. Meditate on His Word (The Bible) to overcome challenges of this world until He comes! Jesus loves you! I don't know you but remember that God is with you! Romans 6:23> For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord. 💕🫶🏾