How Long Can You Survive In Super Mario 64?

[@grfrjiglstan]

All these “die of dehydration” scenarios are eminently more survivable if you just assume Goombas can be milked.

[@timtom5501]

cashews

[@ArtzZeeZee]

I will never forgive you for doing this to my brain.

[@EmeraldWasTaken]

why would you put the thought of milking a goomba into my head

[@aaronthepianoman8297]

go outside

[@fallekonate-b8y]

@@grfrjiglstan this is also assuming goombas don't have blood you can drink.

[@jr637-1]

Fun fact: a Nintendo employee responded to a fan letter about living in Peach’s Castle by explaining that she has two castles: one for living in and one just to store her art. Peach is Marie Antoinette-maxing.

[@amy53241]

that's incredible, I had no idea xD

[@ZeeMid]

@@jr637-1 the one for art has a moat, the live-in castle is on a hill

[@kittycuddler_4437]

This implies that Mario didn't know which castle to go to, and just happened to guess the one Peach was trapped in

[@oddishsmile7368]

And baby bobombs come from "a little bit of gunpowder, and a lot of love"

[@marafolse8347]

​@@kittycuddler_4437 Considering the first game takes place in the mushroom kingdom, and contains 8 castles, only one of which has the princess in it, I guess it makes perfect sense that Mario chose the wrong one again!

[@SprinchelArt]

I think assuming you can drink the water in the basement of Big Boo's haunt is like assuming you can drink still water in an abandoned water park

[@robuxyyyyyyyyyy4708]

That's probably black mold on the walls

[@rovertronic]

stillwater (those who know 💀)

[@StuicyJ]

There are torches on the outside. You could use the wood from any of the buildings to create a fire and distill the water.

[@elomars_xd]

@@rovertronic you have 1 minute to run

[@alejandroo.2358]

@@SprinchelArt those who mango 🥶🥶

[@paperip1996]

Goombas having teeth implies a skeleton - probably made out of chitin rather than bone. So you're probavly looking at only around 70-80% of the goomba's volume being edible (although chitin could be useful for making some basic tools) HOWEVER, if we're operating off the assumption that the goomba's flesh is otherwise identical to shitake mushrooms, thats really good news. Shitake mushrooms are extremely easy to preserve with sun-drying, so as long as you can find a sunny spot free of dirt, you can massively minimize any loss due to rot.

[@peteyboo]

You could probably also plant (fungus? I don’t think that noun has been verbed yet) a part of the Goomba and get it to grow a new one.

[@iQuitGirls99]

@@paperip1996 Teeth don’t necessarily imply a skeleton. There are several kinds of invertebrates that have teeth or toothlike bodyparts, for example some worms or cephalopods. In these cases the mouth parts can be the only hard part in the animal. Cartilaginous fish such as rays and sharks have no bones besides the jaws.

[@kookerbridge-p1o]

@@iQuitGirls99 Freaking worms with ion teeth. For real. ion teeth whatever the fuck that means.

[@WarioTimeWarioTimeWarioTime]

@@iQuitGirls99Bone goombas exist in NSMB2. Mind you, they’re just goombas wearing bones on their heads. Does this imply that goombas don’t have skeletons, or that they do? No idea. We got toad’s anatomy confirmed after all these years, time to move on to goombas

[@iQuitGirls99]

@@WarioTimeWarioTimeWarioTime Sure I think it’s totally possible they do have a skeleton, I was just commenting on the fact that teeth doesn’t equal skeleton. Personally I like the idea although they probably should make a crunchier noise when Mario flattens them

[@SebasTian58323]

Objection! After you beat Bowser,Peach does indeed give you the cake she promised, and therefore somewhere there was a cake and we just never went there in our quest to save her

[@Lockedupmymouthandthrewawa-x6b]

It was in another castle :)

[@Laurel-x2r]

@@Lockedupmymouthandthrewawa-x6b quite literally, as peach canonically has two castles, one for her art and one she lives at

[@joshachu8743]

*Hold it!* But how can a normal person even defeat Bowser anyway? Not only would they only have a long-sleeved shirt and overalls on them, but Bowser has a bunch of traps and hazards. Not to mention Bowser might be so heavy that he weighs enough to crush thin metal, so a normal human, unlike Mario, won’t be able to swing Bowser around by the tail, let alone stay still while also not getting dizzy.

[@sillymel]

I think the lava levels should be instant death due the heat. Mario seems to be immune to convection, but we sure aren't.

[@sup3rlu1gi]

true.

[@Vigriff]

Agreed.

[@lollllolll.]

Can confirm, used to work as an engineer and had to melt tons of steel rods, beams, pipes, etc. You have no idea how many workers i saw get sent to the hospital due to heat strokes, mind you, this was with decent work regulations and proper boundaries being followed at a safe distance no less. (Fyi, i live in Albania, a 2nd world nation, so my standarts for safety are very low, so I'm unaware if this is common on other countries) But don't take my word for it, go for a camping trip and light a fire, and you'll notice that the fire can easily cause burns to your skin without contact if you stay too near for long enough. But if you're too lazy to do that, once again, during summer, go out without sunscreen, see how well that goes 😂 I can only imagine how bad it is in an active volcano, now I'm no expert but judging by the levels, your blood would be boiling in less than an hour 🤷‍♂️

[@sup3rlu1gi]

and the toxic gases

[@ron133.]

@lollllolll. marios a fucking beast then

[@TheAtemAndrew]

It's worth noting that on some of these levels, there's a source of food you haven't considered: Plants. Or, more specifically, trees. Fruits and veggies, sure, but those aren't always available. We may not be able to properly digest grass, but within those trees is cambium - a renewable source of food to cook, eat raw, or turn into a sort of flour. Certain flowers can also be eaten, or turned into teas. Similarly, while food does spoil, there ARE other ways to preserve meat. Drying it out into jerky, making pemmican, etc.

[@LamarjorieQueen]

Remember: fungi are decomposers. They do NOT grow just like plants, and are technically closer to animals. With that being said…what on earth is keeping these things alive?! Honestly, the idea that this just takes place on some boiling isles-type giant corpse horrifying XD

[@FScotsman4472]

toh mentioned!

[@LamarjorieQueen]

@FScotsman4472 YES >:)

[@tomasu301]

@@LamarjorieQueen I wish you can explain this to the vegans

[@LamarjorieQueen]

@@tomasu301 oh, but I can, and will! Although, most fungi can still grow on rotten plants as well…one of these is more “eldritch cosmic horror” than the other! Something you SHOULD fight vegans on is the abstinence from consumption of honey :3 (bees technically can and will consent to trading honey for the weird castles we give them, and actively over-produce in order to keep the trade up!)

[@AlexBallistic]

The owl house spotted in the wild???

[@rylanpeepee]

What if you sun dried the goombas to make goomba jerky

[@oddishsmile7368]

Generally that would require salt. Maybe the green rocks are salinous?

[@robertharris6092]

Theyre mushrooms. You can sundry mushrooms.

[@Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz1024]

That would reduce the already limited water in them

[@roryschussler]

But you have a theoretically infinite source of water from the cannons to rehydrate the dried goomba-flesh.

[@itsmeitsmeitsme]

@@rylanpeepee goombas are technically mushrooms

[@BouncyBonBon]

Objection with HMC: You could theoretically convince the Dorrie to hold down the switch and give you access to the food. Dorrie is shown to have a high enough intelligence to know that you want the star, and to swim closer to it while you're on its head as to give you easier access, and in SMO is shown to be trained as a travelling shop in the Seaside Kingdom. Given that they seem to understand speech, it is likely you could convince them to open the gate while you go kill a spider to eat, then continue with their nonsense swimming in circles after you're done.

[@BleachaNewBeginning]

Also you can check if Mario can press down any switch by just walking in a normal level. Just because you need it to sink in the game, doesnt inherently mean you need the added mas to hit the switch. Mario just isnt tall enough to press down, we can grab a ledge to push our self down ontot he switch, with out any extra help.

[@EvPath]

I know a way to live longer off of Goombas. You base your calculations on how long it would take to a Goomba to spoil after being killed... but you can harvest Goomba flesh without killing them. You could dig a hole in the ground or build a small fence area with the trees and trap a goomba before cutting off a small amount of it for each meal while keeping it alive. You would have to figure out which parts of the goomba are safe to cut off without killing it, I would go for the feet and parts of the head first. As they are fungus, they might have the ability to grow back limbs (feet) and could potentially be infinitely farmed. Fungus have to be fed, but that can be done with decomposing plants and even other animals, so if goombas are a super food you could use them to supplement your diet even when other food is available.

[@breadtheloaf-tr1lo]

the more intelligent species must survive

[@donovandrayton2233]

Unhinged... I like it.

[@camillecutler6868]

Also there is an ocean right there, so you could heavily salt it to preserve it for longer considering water isn't an issue.

[@outofideasexe]

This is very disturbing i like the way you think

[@polocatfan]

@@donovandrayton2233 it's survival dude.

[@SolsticeStarlings]

I think it was confirmed somewhere that Peach has multiple castles and the one in Super Mario 64 is literally just to show off artwork. She isn't house poor, she is so rich that she has a house just for her paintings and other artworks!

[@ArchipagoLPs]

47:15 But sir, you are failing to consider the possibility that you befriend Dorrie and train her to weigh down the switch on command

[@supersmily5811]

Actually, if you can get her to do it just once, it stays depressed once activated.

[@SuperM789]

him* (dorrie is only a girl in later entries)

[@utamari]

TRANS DORRIE!! SLAAAAY QUEEN

[@WevTheGamma]

@@utamari FRR lochnesstrogen.

[@Bacony_Cakes]

@@utamari hell yeah!!!!!!

[@CathyDotUK]

now this is the kind of niche content i want the "questions you didn't know you wanted answered" but also an hour long truly a gift to people like me

[@absollnk]

46:35 I feel like I, as a normal human whose movement is not bounded by game mechanics, could relatively easily traverse slopes like that without helplessly falling to my death

[@supercyclone8342]

Assuming that texture is supposed to be loose gravel or slippery mud, you'd probably slip too. I'd give it 50/50

[@darthmaul8330]

@@supercyclone8342 Not if I had a pair of some very sharp daggers.

[@WarioTimeWarioTimeWarioTime]

@@darthmaul8330you’d have to find daggers in Mario World as per the rules established (you don’t get any gear) so good luck with that. Maybe you could fashion some out of goomba fangs, if they’re sharp enough.

[@lazerchicken404]

@@WarioTimeWarioTimeWarioTime you see those polygons? There's absolutely something sharp enough somewhere

[@absollnk]

@@supercyclone8342 fair point, it might be slippery and damp in there

[@DrPotatoSkins]

About Hazy Maze Cave's Metal Cap Switch: It's pretty well known at this point that you can cheese the switch in a few ways. It just needs a decent amount of pressure put on it for a brief moment to stay down for good. So, logically speaking, there's 4 ways you could go about pushing the button. 1: Swim under the water, squat as low as you can onto the button, then push yourself up at max power to "jump" out of the water. You'd likely put enough pressure on the button to push it down 2. Using your first infinite spider pit, kill a couple spiders and bring them all along the journey to reach the underground lake. From there, you can stack one or two of the dead spiders on the button, then stand on top of them. This should easily push the button down for you to access Spider Pit v2 3. Assuming you need to weigh the button down continuously in order to go in and out of the door, you could get help from Dorrie. Since Dorrie has been shown to understand Mario characters in other games, you could just tell her to put a flipper on the switch every time you need to go in and out. You could even make a best friend while down there. And what's better than surviving alone? Thriving with a cool plesiosaur pal 4. Assuming that Dorrie doesn't want to play nice, you could always chance attacking and killing her. Just kill her while she's on top of the button, and her sunken carcass will weigh down the button for a long while, if not forever. You may not have made a dino friend, but you're alive

[@tubaraofluente]

savior. even with a bonus dinosaur friend

[@apon2390]

I don't think it's a good idea to have a rotting carcass constantly lying in your water supply. But the rest might work

[@GuidingLightAngel]

There's a cheeky little cheat you can pull off in regular Hazy Maze Cave. The entrance to the metal cap stage is located within the level itself, all you need is have Dorrie carry you to the metal cap cave entrance and jump inside, now it may seem like you just trapped yourself somewhere with no food, which doesn't solve your situation, but you can fall down the waterfall back into Peach's castle. The fall is relatively high, but as long as you don't drain the moat's water, it could be survivable, if a little painful. Now you would have access to 3 separate areas since they're all connected, you can, quite literally, loop peach's castle to feed the fish and get water, go to hazy maze cave for bug meat and go down to dorrie's location, leave through the metal cap stage's water fall, and repeat the process. There's another thing, the metal cap stage has minerals, which means, eventually, you could mine them for resources and make better weapons and tools. One could assume that the crystals in the metal cap stage are actually made of metal, as not even metal mario is able to damage them, if you were able to find a way to break them, you would gain really powerful stuff to use, and since the crystals would regrown after you leave the metal cap stage, that's an infinite resource of crystal metal ore, which in time, you would be able to create structures to make hazy maze cave less of a hazard to navigate. This would then grant you access to 2 extra levels that also loop back into peach's castle, dire dire docks and the vanish cap stage. With the new resources obtained, you would be able to visit those two new levels for more resources, although getting out of them back into peach's castle is more difficult, as you would need to bring climbing tools to descend to the vanish cap's depths and get warped back to moat, although that would require you to drain the moat, making your trip to and from metal cap stage more dangerous because the fall is now way higher, plus there's not really anything to do there. The second one however, Dire Dire Docks, if you're able to break through the submarine's door, you'll be able to navigate back to peach's castle, and with the metal tools from the metal cap stage, you likely could, this gives you access to the fire spitters, which means you'll be able to take them with you, and since they would reappear once you enter dire dire docks, you would be able to get an infinite amount of them. This gives you the technology to produce infinite fire, alongside the already infinite food and water sources along with ores from metal cap stage. Even without being able to get into dire dire docks, looping the castle grounds, hazy maze cave, and metal cap stage gives you access to infinitely respawning 1-up mushrooms if you can make it up the castle, and with enough resources, you could craft yourself a ramp up to the castle's roof. As we see in mario sunshine, 1-up mushrooms will fully replenish your water tank, meaning that not only are they full of nutrients (they give you an extra life after all) but will also prevent you from suffering dehydration, that means you would be able to grow more of them, giving you an infinite supply of lives, nutrients and water.

[@GuidingLightAngel]

Wow that took a while to write.

[@inverted---Invertedproductions]

@@GuidingLightAngel worth the survival

[@charmanderfan1]

Or you could convince Dorrie to press the switch blocking the infinite spider pit. Dorrie seems like a nice enough loch ness monster to just let you through if you ask.

[@GrubbusHubbus]

This shit made me think of a post-apocalyptic Mario 64 where you gotta climb around the paintings to thrive in an uncaring hellscape.

[@CallofFreaky]

Woah this is Mario’s survival guide

[@calebandchristianthecrusaders]

17:29 How did you forget you could just kill the penguins and use their skin as coats

[@TomorrowBod]

@@calebandchristianthecrusaders mmmm penguin meat 🤤

[@Hailvian]

@@calebandchristianthecrusaders I doubt youd be able to kill a penguin, skin it, clean and treat it, and make anything resembing a mammals fur in under 3 hours, let alone 1, let alone in arctic conditions

[@aidenpommee766]

@@Hailvian maybe if you killed it and just reversed the pelt so the fur is inside it don’t matter if it’s got smelly frozen guts on the outside

[@undynlicia7554]

@@calebandchristianthecrusaders or, do the Wampa technique seen in Star Wars

[@Duckslayer-ig5pc]

Or make a fire

[@ivanbluecool]

Guess next we'll see how long you can survive on Mario Galaxy. That'll be fun

[@jetstreamdrake4186]

90% of levels are out into instant death

[@joebykaeby]

Insert Mario's 'falling into the void' sound here

[@WholesomeJack]

Nah starbits are canonically edible, infinite food glitch

[@DasistKritik]

How long does it take for the vacuum to boil your blood and pulverize your lungs? 0,3 seconds?

[@starkiller1289]

You can live on the bee palnet indefinately as long as it provides all needed nutrients.

[@SamHammie]

There's a massive deposit of white rock in Bob-Omb Battlefield. This is probably salt. Salt is a preservative. Assuming that this rock is salt, eliminate the Bob-Ombs so you can travel there safely and rub all the mushroom you're not going to eat against it repeatedly. You can now make your food last all 100 days.

[@cornesalvo9366]

I'm going to be completely honest I've thought about this many times as a kid and was waiting for the eventual 1-hour-long video on youtube discussing it. Thank you for delivering.

[@Lockedupmymouthandthrewawa-x6b]

Holy shit Lockstep autism creature

[@courier665]

@@cornesalvo9366 it seems this was a common sentiment as this isnt the only video Ive seen on this exact same question.

[@gwennorthcutt421]

i did something similar, where id just tool around in pokemon and gameboy zeldos like it was the sims. i am not surprised you have a tbh icon and share my childhood habits

[@nerddwarf]

This would be the topic of an early 2010's Game Theory I love it

[@turntoyou]

Oh Peach definitely has castle areas you can't access! I insist there's hidden/locked areas for sleeping, cooking, chilling, etc. She says come to THE castle not A castle and you go into the same castle to have cake AGAIN at the end. Lol

[@MisterSteveMC]

TRUE I have always said that there are places that you simply don't see in the game.

[@WarioTimeWarioTimeWarioTime]

Insist?

[@dylanzlol7293]

It also explains the windows from outside as well

[@Robot_972]

@@turntoyou I mean, the Paper Mario 64 castle is basically the same castle and that’s got all the goods needed, so probably

[@lynniewood]

And bowser could have changed the layout and blocked off areas so mario/the Toads can't eat or sleep comfortably

[@elzilcho222]

In boomb battlefield. The boombs catch fire before they blow up. There are also trees… you can start a fire to smoke the goomba meat and make it last MUCH longer. Dried meat can last for 1-2 months

[@silverbeach1557]

I'm contesting Big Boo's Haunt. There's a lot of doors you could easily dismantle. You could break into the second story by taking the door off its hinges entirely. Use wood from doors or walls to make fires and dry the meat to preserve it. You could also bash the boos with wooden planks to get rid of them. The basement is likely cool enough to act as a fridge, with how it's totally closed off and insulated by stone. The moisture would be a problem, though, so drying meat would be better since the area looks relatively low humidity anyways: the house isn't rotting or molding, even though the basement is flooded. Burst pipe, I guess? The killer piano is fleshy and would be easy to kill with a spear since its mouth is so large. Drying an entire grand piano's worth of meat would likely feed you for the rest of your life. The huge eye on floor 3, also, but that'd be less satisfying than getting one over on that piano. Your biggest enemy in Big Boo's Haunt would be vitamin deficiency from a lack of sunlight.

[@Accrovideogames]

Boos can be punched to death if hit from behind. There's no need to overthink this. OnADock is mistaken to think that only ground pounds can damage them.

[@kitchen_sponge]

Ima be real with you, dying is 50% guaranteed if you try fighting that grand piano with any weapon found in big boo’s haunt. Considering the outer layer of the piano is as tough as… well, a piano, getting close enough to jam a spear in without immediately getting eaten alive is less than easy (the piano has sentience, and is intelligent enough to disguise itself as a harmless object and wait patiently for its food to go near before pouncing. Considering it’s size, the brain could be compared to a large mammal which would mean it’s pretty smart), since you just don’t have enough time to come up with a surefire method to minimize risks should anything go wrong in the process

[@dylanzlol7293]

​@@kitchen_spongecant you try making a javelin to throw into the mouth once you're close enough? You'd have access to a lot of wood, so it wouldnt be impossible to make one

[@iphoneasmr4610]

@@kitchen_sponge Brain size does not correlate to intelligence

[@a.d.harmuth3554]

56:14 Snowman's Land in DS does have an open flame *and* goombas. In the southeast corner of the map, there's a small fenced off area with three capped goombas and a campfire. Like CCM, you can preserve your goomba meat by freezing it due to the temperature and later thawing it out by the fire. Based on your goomba calculations from BBB, this would give someone maybe about 300 days worth of food if preserved well. This would make Snowman's Land DS temporarily survivable.

[@Agarillobob]

you dont need the metal cap to push down the switch in hazy maze cave, you can do it in game by bouncing off the wall and just hitting the switch real hard by landing in the warter, considering a human being taller then mario you should be able to stand on the switch and press it normally

[@halyoalex8942]

warter :) hehe

[@hazelharry2033]

Hehehe Warter :)

[@Agarillobob]

@@hazelharry2033 WaWa

[@cornesalvo9366]

Not only that, but it would stand to reason that in a cave, there would be loose rocks everywhere that you can simply pile on the button until it activates. The weights can be the splinters of the rolling rocks, the debris the rocks would probably make while crashing into the floors and walls, or golden coins (which sink).

[@alexs6746]

How does that fish express so much emotion with only like 2 changes to facial features

[@wurtknurte7283]

29:09 If you had the lung capacity to swim to the underwater caves, you could potentially harvest wood from the chests in the cave, using the goombas inside to feed you while you set up a fire. Even if the wood is a bit damp, it's going to be much less wet than the wood outside due to being in the cave. Alternatively, you could live in that cave until any wood you left outside is dried, and make a fire outside, but I think being in the cave protected from the elements is a better option.

[@cinnamonsugarcourtney6073]

Or you could just use those giant ass coins as a fog collector. Infinite water.

[@Ihelps]

At 3:50, I'd just like to point out that Yoshi is not a human, and just like the real world, some creatures can eat things that other creatures can't. You see, if Yoshi can eat a Goomba, it doesn't mean a human can, It doesn't even mean that Mario can either! These are factors that need to be gone through before going with things. :)

[@betsyrocketram]

why not ask the penguins of Cool Cool Mountain for help with the igloo? they seem friendly enough, and can even speak human understandable languages, and seem to have no problem in the cold. im sure theyd be willing to help you, they might be way more valuable as allies then as food.

[@EgoLikol]

@@betsyrocketram PENGUIN MEAT! PENGUIN MEAT! PENGUIN MEAT!

[@RickRaptor105]

You let them build the igloo, and THEN you eat them

[@betsyrocketram]

@@RickRaptor105 i was thinking about that exact thing and as sociopathic as that sounds, it's sadly probably the best way to survive CCM.

[@FoshuV]

@@betsyrocketram And don't they have a thick feathery pelt? If they're not friendly enough to barter for those shed downy feathers, the skin is a huge pelt to keep you warm! Maybe they even lay eggs.

[@betsyrocketram]

@@FoshuV i didnt even consider eggs. those would be a huge resource assuming they layed them.

[@VoltaicNebulae]

All i've learned from these videos is that mario has taken a pact with some entity to provide him superhuman abilities in exchange for a strict code of rules that don't allow much foul play such as sharpening a stick.

[@titansans2956]

The painting worlds can not be just fictional worlds because we get to revisit Whomp's Fortress in Mario Galaxy 2 through Throwback Galaxy. We know it's the same place because king Whomp remembers Mario. Also the paintings were likely already in the castle before Bowser took over, with evidence being the the different rooms based around the paintings such as the room with the three different sized paintings. It is more likely that the paintings are just portals to the depicted locations. There are paintings in Mario Odyssey that work the same way, you can use them to travel to specific other kindoms.

[@KamekFox]

Didn't Bowser also make the worlds in Galaxy using the Galaxy Generator or whatever? Maybe he just likes showing off to Mario his OC King Whomp.

[@titansans2956]

@KamekFox He may have, but these worlds at least didn't disappear after his defeat. This is because the Queen Bee lady is playable in Mario Kart.

[@Icortherainwing]

​@@KamekFox So, are going to ignore *King Whomp* being Bowsers OC?

[@InappropriatePolarbear]

I almost died from hypothermia because I was going to go outside to build a snowman in my overalls. It's a good thing I watched this video.

[@HmmYT]

26:52 we all know you already had that image saved to your desktop

[@taxevasiondino]

@@HmmYT that was quite unsavory ;-;

[@jakubweh7885]

Who doesn't tbh

[@icecremmester]

bro did NOT need to add this

[@辛金手]

Would

[@LukaFl-g3m]

3:36 absolutely obsessed with the way he says goomba. Saying it like that is a new vocal stim for sure

[@HeeminGaminStation]

0:10 no one’s ever seen how long you can survive in this game? Pretzel literally did this 8 months ago… I thought you were him since this is nearly a carbon copy of his idea… but I am sucker for this idea and disagreed with some of his methodology so I’m excited to see how you handle this topic.

[@HeeminGaminStation]

10 minutes in and love your methodology a whole lot more

[@thesantadestroyer]

@@HeeminGaminStation i just plain dont like the derivative idea without credit to the inspiration that could be excused if the author didnt know about the video in question but that one kinda blew up so id have to suspend my disbelief

[@thesantadestroyer]

i take it all back this vid is peak

[@cantthinkofagoodnameforthi1645]

I thought this idea sounded familiar I love the idea, so I’m happy there’s someone else doing this concept

[@thelanktheist2626]

Tbf it’s hard to comb the ENTIRE internet just to count out an idea someone already did

[@JadeyCatgirl99]

54:38 "No one chucks animals at passerby with benevolent intent" There it is, we found the quote of the year.

[@theletsplaycurse]

I’m personally a fan of “If you avoid the Sistine Chapel that kills you”

[@tdc455]

For Cool Cool mountain, you neglected to bring up the coins. If you got two coins you could probably bash two of them together to create a spark. There's plenty of trees in the level so you have fire wood. I'd imagine you could start a fire in the cabin and warm yourself up. You probably wouldn't live very long unless you found a way to create a barrier between the ice cave and the cabin using packed snow to create insulation, but I believe you underrated it in the tier list.

[@Solesteam]

22:38 If you're lucky enough to be dressed as Mario and gab onto your hat as soon as you realize the ground isn't under you anymore you might be able to glide down to whatever is below these levels... Assuming it can hold your body weight as magically as it does Mario's.

[@bdbailey]

40:11 falling from this height would be instant death or at the very least probably give you wounds that would render you unable to make it to the sub area

[@hyperfairy7779]

Indeed so, though since these are painted worlds created by bowser, physics may not sully apply as brought up in the video, plus there are professional high divers, That said, I have my doubts about being able to swim.to and through the tunnel

[@WarioTimeWarioTimeWarioTime]

“Well fiddle dee dee it appears as if my legs have erupted into a puddle!”

[@SluggLuver]

Disagree. This is the height of like really tall diving boards, not the golden gate or sumn. But i cant remember if the fall is actually larger and it was just cut off in the vid or not. I could always be wrong

[@stevewohlwend1010]

"It's ridiculous to consider such unrealistic and impossible scenarios. Now then, can we eat a goomba?" The execution here got a sub from me. I've been laughing for about two minutes now.

[@kwesmo17]

This kind of video essay reminds me a lot of Any Austin videos, I really enjoyed this deep dive into some information that no one really wants. Thanks for the entretaintment, great work!

[@Uniman300-dh4ge]

32:58 You do not want to eat an eyeball. Getting through only the first layer with a surgical scalpel takes about a minute on a normal sized one. And then after the first layer, the rest of it is just globby glibby slimy stuff. Nothing you could eat.

[@Brite-um2tq]

Ewwwwwww

[@satibel]

that's if you don't want to damage the eye, I recon I could chop it with a cleaver it in a second

[@Uniman300-dh4ge]

@satibel oh, you're right, but where would you get a cleaver in super mario 64?

[@satibel]

@@Uniman300-dh4ge there's wood and stone, and probably some fabric somewhere, though since there's a single eye you could just sharpen some wood, yes it would be longer but you could probably cut it relatively quickly.

[@kenalverson3035]

“Nothing you could eat” Eating fish eyes is somewhat common in Asian countries, and some cultures eat sheep and similar animal eyeballs (usually in the context of a whole head being cooked and served). If you’re hungry enough, it’s probably edible.

[@ivanbluecool]

Peach: wanna come over? Mario; I'm kinda busy Peach: I got cake Mario:(starts back jumping)

[@Aumlic]

Hazy maze cave is survivable even without the bridge because that wall is rock & normal humans can rock climb. Now you might fall, but even then, that slope isn't that steep mario falls down it because "video game," but for a normal person, you'll be fine.

[@Joseph-gm1yr]

OMG. What are the odds of this; I just finished watching your video on how long one could survive in Mario Sunshine, and I really enjoyed it, so I looked at your channel to see if you had other videos with a similar premise (and they weren't any at the time after few minutes of looking). So I decided to search up "How Long Can You Survive In Super Mario 64?" as a starter to see if they were videos by other creators and then I find this video. Absolutely unreal. 😂 Keep up the good work.

[@SeleenShadowpaw]

oh my god, the part with the 'goddamn cognito hazard' and 'the sistine chapel that kills you' really sold me. Good poignant satire :D I already was engaged by your delivery and the editing, but have a like and a subscribe early after 23 minutes, you earned it :3

[@wingbeltcreations5455]

For Dire Dire Docks, it connects back to the Castle's Moat if you go back through the door in the later stages. So, if we're assuming the lake and moat were fresh water, this would mean that this stage's water is fresh as well. Granted, we still have the fire to disinfect the water at least.

[@snarkyginger1158]

Not necessarily, could be that DD-Docks is a base in a coastal cavern (perhaps Cavi Cape as unlikely as that is, for example) that feeds into the river

[@wingbeltcreations5455]

@@snarkyginger1158 Never considered the water in caverns like that, gotta read up on the geology of sea caves.

[@IrvinCascade]

Fun thought: the only reason why Peach's castle might be without a toilet and kitchen MIGHT be because of Bowser sealing the main hub and allowing him to live separate from the hub. When Peach is rescued and Bowser is defeated, the castle theoretically returns to normal (whatever that means). This probably does not affect anything; because, you're not living in Peach's castle when she comes back to power. So, you'd be stuck outside which means you're hunting fish and birds regardless.

[@VentureCAM]

>wants an excuse to calculate the water in a cloud >calls himself lazy lol

[@alxthegr8402]

Ok so the CANON reason as to why peach does not have any furniture in her castle is because she has a second castle for her furniture, I thing Nintendo Europe said that

[@oilfoil3866]

@@alxthegr8402 no, a random guy on tumblr said that a Nintendo customer service representative said that

[@Nerreave]

i love when you take cartoon worlds and morph them into brutal realistic scenarios id love to see more concepts like this in the future! :]

[@Solesteam]

7:46 You cooould join King Bomb-Omb's army under the promise he'll help you get a stable thing going there, a decent supply of Goomba flesh and water, but we don't really know how much he needs troops with minimal inside information of the pink army's defense.

[@palaceswitcher]

I think Snowman's Land could be survivable in the DS version. It has a bunch of hat goombas that continue to respawn after being killed, and a Fly Guy that can act as a source of fire. Not only could you eat the goombas, but you could also burn a pile of their corpses AND the very flammable hats they drop for a fairly large fire. Not sure if it would be able to last overnight, but there's trees and a few sources of scrap wood if you need the fire to viable for at least a few days.

[@Arial55555]

And the fact that there’s just… an infinite campfire in the hat-goomba pen. Although you make a good point about hat-goombas always respawning. But the question remains: did we, the human, unlock M, L, & W before being trapped? If not, they might not be there, since the hats (in most instances) only spawn on the map after unlocking a character’s door.

[@palaceswitcher]

@@Arial55555 The caps only appear in earlier levels prior to their characters being unlocked, so that is a good point. Mario needs to be unlocked to beat the Bowser levels, so I would assume that at least Mario has been freed if Snowman's Land is accessible. But if this challenge assumes that the game is in its starting state then you'd be screwed once you run out of firewood.

[@WarioTimeWarioTimeWarioTime]

Easier, since Wario is canonically immortal (source: Wario’s Testimony) just put on his hat

[@Arial55555]

@@palaceswitcher Potential infinite food (and fire fuel) on any map with water: There is always a 1/256 chance that a water splash particle will be re-textured as a fish (for reference, can be seen at 25:38). Ergo, there are infinite fish. The starvation category has been eliminated, and a fire can be set to burn on fish oil (in theory), like how whale oil lamps worked.

[@freezgolem3911]

Did I sit here for over an hour watching this? Yes, and I’m going to do it again because it’s more entertaining then most tv shows nowadays

[@bup8671]

If we assume the coins magically restore your breath, the red coins spawn a star as normal, and the star let's you leave the level, you could escape the aquarium by the skin of your teeth

[@zoompipes_twin2889]

Ok… but the goal was to live *inside* the levels, leaving the aquarium would defeat the purpose of the video

[@PrincessAquos]

@@zoompipes_twin2889 Wait, maybe they're onto something. The aquarium level is bigger, and has more fish. So maybe, just maybe, you could catch a few fish before escaping

[@GiveMeMeatballsImHungry]

@@PrincessAquos the problem is, fish are a lot faster than us underwater, so you’re more likely to drown than catching even one.

[@nickb8755]

If you start running out of food , Mario should be able to find more in parallel universes… If he is able to build up speed for 12 hours or 12,000 hours or 999 days he can reach different overflow levels in matrices. Although there is collision in these “parallel universes” I can’t be certain if there will be food. Mario has never been seen consuming a goombah or any toad, as far as I know, in any game Some questions do not need to be asked.

[@posteriorpepperoni]

How rude,Mario's not a "goddamn thicc-ass,disproportionate, freak of nature",he's just Italian

[@jacrispymcrib9992]

I swear the DS version of Snowman's Land has fire. I thought the Goombas had a little fire going off in the corner, barely clinging to life like Gulag prisoners

[@aqlcaramsm3907]

please keep this series going, that was the most fun i've had watching youtube in a while lmao

[@Solesteam]

5:11 Talk to any plant biologist about what a mushroom is categorized as and they'd evaporate on the spot.

[@leirbag1595]

I always enjoy those "Can you survive in X" videos, it's yet another way to dissect these worlds in a way they never meant to, and I just find it really fun. I came to wonder how various Mario Party boards would fare. There has got to be a few you could make a living in, right?

[@WarioTimeWarioTimeWarioTime]

Yoshi’s island is not only seemingly survivable, but probably preferable to where I live now

[@leirbag1595]

@@WarioTimeWarioTimeWarioTime Get me on Cantaloupe Island and I'm set for damned life.

[@Solesteam]

46:35 Hold on, unlike Mario, a normal human can remove and even discard their slippery silk gloves and wooden shoes to get extra traction on smooth surfaces, so although we can't make the *_jump_* we should be able to shimmy over there and assuming we don't make a single mistake during any trips to and from there ever, should be indefinitely survivable.

[@breadtheloaf-tr1lo]

you deserve so many more views omg I think I like the sunshine video more because of the even more vibrant and more interesting enviornments but this is still really good deserves way more than 133 views

[@thexenocide6013]

ask and ye shall receive on that view count

[@Solesteam]

34:04 maybe if you fashion some crude mallet out of the boards in the walls or, since Boos can clearly talk and reason, plea your case before them as a neutral party in an unfortunate circumstance, swear your loyalty to Bowser and maybe they'll ignore you as you feast on the eyeballs and promise to make up for the loss of defenses if Mario shows up...

[@a.d.t.mapping]

i would figure that the submarine in DDD would be atleast SLIGHTLY helpful for survival amenities edit: and you could probably break down a few doors and make a makeshift ladder/bridge, and failing that, using that door to hold down the button in hmc

[@psychedelicartistry]

46:32 I think if you just run forward without jumping first and then do a jump before you start sliding down you can make it. Great video, btw. You got a good sense of humor. It's refreshing af.

[@fireminer101]

OBJECTION on Peach's Castle / Castle Grounds: there's multiple one-up mushrooms on the roof of the castle (more if you count the ones Yoshi gives you at 120 stars). There's also the potential to eat a single rabbit (way more in the DS version). Even without relying on the one-up mushrooms to survive, you might be able to last long enough to set up a renewable supply of fish assuming the one-ups are loaded in nutrition and don't rot while just sitting there. This is all assuming the castle bay doesn't connect to the ocean, which it very likely does given the running water in the waterfall and the skybox texture (also if JRB fish count as renewable despite the huge cliffs surrounding the bay, it's not a huge stretch to say the castle grounds bay connects to the ocean as well).

[@magolor152]

So how would you get onto the roof? Unless you assume we could survive being shot out of a cannon(one probably used for defense mind you) and that the castle cannon would even be open for us in the first place.. As for the rabbit, it would only really make a difference in the ds remake, as one rabbit isn't nearly enough to sustain a person

[@fireminer101]

@@magolor152 I was assuming that it would be at least technically possible to climb up the grassy mountains, but looking at it further it might not be possible even if you give more leeway than mario gets in the games due to it being so steep. You might still be able to make a ladder using the fences lying around, if you really worked for it though.

[@zanmolecules4105]

@@fireminer101 how exactly are we getting to the top of the castle, seeing how we can’t get shot out of the cannon and aren’t able to pull off all of the acrobatics Mario can use with the hills to get to the top

[@willowdrakon]

Me going into this: haha funny video about analyzing the silly wahoo game Me about 17 minutes in: major flashbacks to reading "to build a fire" for the first time and being horrified.

[@johnthefactfddict3281]

flaw in the first level, trees and rocks exist you could easily build a small furnace to dry the mushrooms this could prolong the lifespan a tad and increase survivability and we are assuming the number of goombas is a finite number, they very likely will "respawn" to replace the dead troops in this war

[@snowash4052]

Love the video. Love the narrarion. Love the humor. Didnt love the freedom measurements

[@GeeWizDude]

If we are putting human physics into hazy mazy cave, assuming we live diving head first into that much mercury, we cant forget that 1. I imagine an average person weighs more then mario, but assuming not with all thoughts considered there is no reason we couldnt head first jump off the dino into the button and open that damn gate, or somehow find other means of entry, i mean if it is life or death, we gonna pick up them massive ass cold coins and drop them on the switch i mean ill figure it out haha. Love these videos.

[@HeyImPitchouli]

As shown in the infamous "Watch for Rolling Rocks in 0.5 A Presses" video, it's entirely possible to activate the switch without needing the Metal Cap - the video shows it's possible with a back-flip into a ground pound granting the momentum needed to impact it, proving the potential for a human-sized mass to trigger it with enough force applied. The other option is that, well... you have the infinite spider generator at your spawn point, and infinite spiders = infinite mass. From there, your survival would depend on if you can collect and transfer enough spider corpses past the one-way jump and onto the button to get it weighed down enough to open before dehydration sets in.

[@GeeWizDude]

@HeyImPitchouli exactly, with that amount of spider corpse, I imagine you can also gather a massive amount of web, at spiders that size it's safe to assume their web strength could handle a human either allowing for creation of something or at least a form to gather the spiders allowing for their relocation easier. You can make it happen, however I guess it comes down to when you are living in that world do you have the knowledge of the location or are you going in blind

[@tposingukiki]

In OG 64 Hazy Maze Cave: • “That One Jump” can be crossed by jumping for the corner. • You do not need the metal cap specifically, as a precise ground pound can open the switch. And since that’s the case, it can be assumed that anything heavy enough weigh down the switch will work. • Plessy in the underwater cave has no natural predators, and will likely not put up much of a fight if attacked.

[@tubaraofluente]

i kinda feel millions of views when i eventually come back here years later

[@william3371]

This is the first video I've ever seen from your channel, but 0:25 is just adorable lol I might subscribe

[@WesleyHamlin]

I’m contesting whomps fortress, big boos haunt, shifting sand land, and hazy maze cave, tiny huge island (tiny Mario), cause it’s stagnant water which is not that good for you… Still love the video tho

[@palaceswitcher]

Shifting Sand Land has Fly Guys, which can be used as a source of fire to purify the water.

[@WesleyHamlin]

@ good catch, won’t remove that though because integrity, I will not hide my mistakes

[@vakk985]

You could dismantle the reasonably dry chests in Jolly Roger Bay's cave for fire and dry the otherwise damp wood to extend your mileage

[@waterisaneurotoxin7788]

00:38 So you are saying the cake is a lie?

[@kingofbleh]

Give me your password so I can delete this comment for you.

[@waterisaneurotoxin7788]

@@kingofbleh Not a portal fan I see.

[@Cute___E]

@@waterisaneurotoxin7788 I think it's more just that it's a well-since-dead meme

[@WinVisten]

29:57 You couldn't use palm trees as wood because... Palm trees aren't actually trees. They're grass. You might still be able to burn them, but good luck making wooden tools or a house out of them. (And yes, I know they use a wooden plank texture in-game)

[@OswaldAurelia]

A lot of these don't account for the fact that there are stars, literal miniature power sources, just out in the open. That should make any level with water and a relatively easy to attain star easy to not die of dehydration. You still gotta worry about food, but with a few of these places it makes things a lot easier (like JRB. You just go to the Goomba Cove, throw a Goomba at one of the treasure chests, and you get an infinite power source and even potentially some delicious fried Goomba to eat or use as bait

[@Solesteam]

52:46 Have you considered stabbing the Goomba? Perhaps with a picket-fence-picket? Mario's dull nubs may not do the trick but what about a sharp bit of wood through the eye? 53:59 Yes you did...

[@icenkan]

Hey, i love your videos, i think it's super dumb you don't get more views and have more subs. i loved this video. Keep up the good work, i can tell you put a lot of effort into this video! Lots of love!

[@Solesteam]

12:53 Imagine bowser checks up on why Mario is taking suspiciously long till he finds some random guy ransacked the place for it's fish, and probably (somehow) accidentally killed Mario in one of many bird catching traps. He's be confused, probably a bit scared, and possibly offer you a job until he finds you're just miraculously cursed to stay in one level area indefinitely for an inexplicable reason.

[@mitwhitgaming7722]

Now I need to know what Goomba's taste like! I have eaten crocodile before, and it tastes like halfway between a chicken and fish so would a Goomba be like a halfway between mushroom and pork?

[@WarioTimeWarioTimeWarioTime]

Probably just mushrooms. Don’t imagine they’re very meaty at all.

[@BigAssBalls]

@@WarioTimeWarioTimeWarioTime shiitake's probably the meatiest of mushrooms though, tastes less plant than your average mushroom

[@Jasher144]

@@WarioTimeWarioTimeWarioTime they have meaty eyes dude

[@Jasher144]

@@WarioTimeWarioTimeWarioTime wait 21:34 THAT GOOMBA HAS A INSIDE WHICH IS MEAT LOOK AT ITS MOUTH

[@WarioTimeWarioTimeWarioTime]

@@Jasher144 most people don’t eat the eyes of animals. But while we’re on the topic of “is it plant or meat”, are Piranha Plants vegetarian-safe?

[@MichaeltheGolem]

54:07 according to the Manuel of the original super mario bros, lakitu has a mother spiny who just lays all these spiny eggs that lakitu throws

[@amy53241]

Amanita muscaria is not lethally poisonous, in fact it is one of the less harmful inedible mushrooms to humans. still don't eat them in real life unless you know what you're doing though

[@Eiroth]

^^ Practically no credible reported deaths over the last 100 years. I believe there have been two, possibly? One of which was a 70+ old woman with preexisting conditions

[@altsadhara]

If you create a fire in levels like Bobomb Battlefield, you can smoke the goomba flesh to disenfect it as a form of unrefigerated preservation; they should last considerably longer that way, although still likely not multiple years unless they really are the _ultimate_ superfood 😂

[@nickb8755]

The fungus can be sun dried… if it can even be eaten in the first place. We’ve seen what happens to goomba bodies after they are smashed: they disappear Why should Mario be able to bite a goomba? Cook a goomba (flesh) Dry a goomba carcass? If he could kill it he could dry it and survive. Don’t the coins give him life force?

[@RardozVR]

3:29 The talking flower

[@Icortherainwing]

24:20 I love the prospects of Mario having a higher density then the sun.

[@ge7ash]

Can't you clone goombas? That's at least an extra 5 seconds.

[@theletsplaycurse]

Even if there was a way to reliably clone objects for a regular person, unfortunately goomba clones can only be interacted with once before turning intangible so it wouldn’t help much

[@ge7ash]

@theletsplaycurse But I thought you can clone them infinitely...?

[@theletsplaycurse]

@ge7ash don’t worry you’re right about that it’s just the two methods to do it aren’t practical for a regular person to do The bob-omb method would be risky since you have to pick up a bob-omb right as it explodes so every time you do it, you’d be at risk Ok so half way through writing this I realised that some of the mechanics of the second method I was unclear of so I just went to test them and it turns out a person should be completely capable of cloning infinitely with it so yeah I was completely wrong Basically by picking up the small cork box and placing it back down, it will gain a timer that makes it disappear after a certain amount of time and by picking it up as soon as it disappears will allow you to clone. Originally I thought this wouldn’t work because the box doesn’t get replaced after it breaks however at no point do you need to break the box to make it work nor is the box at any risk of breaking during the process since if you time it too soon you just pick up the box again and too late means the box teleports back to its original location. It’s quite a precise trick so it might take a while to get good at but if you’re able to rip or cut off a chunk of goomba meat every time you do it successfully then you’d have a pretty sustainable food source and you can even clone the bubbles shot from the cannon to get the water more easily. The only problems with doing this are the fact that if you accidentally break the box at any point then you are completely screwed and will start having to risk doing the bob-omb method and since clones don’t ever despawn, after a few years the area would be completely filled with thousands of goombas. I’m not sure how long it would take to completely fill up the map with goomba clones but I don’t think there’s enough space to last a human lifetime unless you do it very strategically.

[@ge7ash]

@theletsplaycurse i aint readin allat 💀

[@theletsplaycurse]

@ge7ash tldr: you were right

[@juststardust9816]

There’s a lot of comments talking about things you missed that could be used to prolong your survival, but don’t be too hard on yourself if they make you feel bad. Your video was super hilarious and your strategies are still clever and I love your delivery and you’re just so awesome❤

[@TimoKruidhof]

Think about being able to build ladders form fences. U can use this to get to the warp pipe on small island.

[@oogooboggins5956]

17:26 You didn't consider slaughtering the giant penguin and using its skin to make a tent/coat

[@cactusman60]

3:10 Speak for yourself.

[@kackwallace]

portal has taught us that the cake was a lie but super mario 64 already said it

[@TheCurator517]

10:09 the cake is a lie

[@Guardian-of-Light137]

The super mario sunshine one was the first vid I saw from you. And now I've seen this. Loving it so far. Definitely wanna see more. But don't stress yourself out making it your only content. Fans want your other stuff to I'm sure. But would definitely love to see more of these types of survival videos. Paper mario? Mario party? Perhaps from other series besides mario? Metroid, pikmin, not even just Nintendo games. I'm only listing those cause they're relevant. Maybe the souls like games? Final fantasy? Monster hunter? Possibilities are basically endless. But you do what you want man. You're entertaining enough I could probably listen to you read a phone book and it would be interesting. I'm not saying that in a sarcastic way. You have a way with words that's entertaining to listen to. This video felt like it went by way to fast.

[@demise8590]

First

[@breadtheloaf-tr1lo]

actually accurate

[@Mortomi]

Alternatively, you could assume that stuff cannot rot. Assuming bowser didn’t decide to add disease to these paintings, and you don’t bring it with you, theoretically no meat would ever rot.