How People Reacted To Alternative Kids

Alternative kids are no different now then we were in the 90s but we were treated differently. Why, you ask? Because back then being quirky, eccentric, off-beat or anything that made you stray from the norm (and the bar was low) got you branded a lunatic. It can be pretty isolating until you find your own people and then...Freedom!

[@angelabenedict]

Alternative kids are no different now then we were in the 90s but we were treated different. Why, you ask? Because back then being quirky, eccentric, off-beat or anything that made you stray from the norm (and the bar was low) got you branded a lunatic. It can be pretty isolating until you find your own people and then...Freedom!

[@michaelcaywood6070]

I think that you’re a beautiful, young woman and you should only do things that makes you happy.

[@catherinemeow7844]

I’m almost 40, and still searching for my people. 😅🖤 where you at spooky elder goth moms?

[@whispererofshadows2501]

Your beautiful Angela, then and now. I started as a Baby Bat in the 90’s too 🖤💃🏻🌹🦇

[@whatheavensaid]

"All the freaky people make the beauty of the world." -Michael Franti 💖

[@whatheavensaid]

Yes! I hope that you write a book!! 💖💖💖

[@helleborne1997]

Being bullied for being different while simultaneously being fetishized is such a rough experience. I related to more of your story than I would have thought, thank you for sharing.

[@angelabenedict]

Well said! Bullied to your face while they try to turn you into the dirty secret. 'I like you and we should hook up but you can't tell anyone!' Who the hell do they think they are?

[@angelabenedict]

@@alexandercortes5013 You suspect incorrectly. Men do it far more than women do and the men are the one who get aggressive about it.

[@angelabenedict]

@@alexandercortes5013 I'm sorry, but are you mansplaining the sexual harassment and fetishization WOMEN receive?

[@ggfatale351]

Me too. Angela really gets it. She cracks me up 💜

[@baileymoran8585]

It is weird. I was deemed ‘the ugliest girl in school,’ and later someone crossed out the word ‘girl’ on the title, and wrote ‘alien.’ Somewhere along the line I got rid of the head gear braces and learned how to do my hair, make up, and dress myself. But I’m still ‘the ugliest alien in school,’ like I was when I was when I was 12. My decision to get more extreme with my appearance as soon as I was able to buy my own things, was because I leaned into being unappealing in a subculture that doesn’t/didn’t value attractive people for its existing: metal. I already loved the older music in that scene and I kept going with heavier and angrier things. I had a lot of heavier traumas early on and I didn’t want to be loved for my looks, or embraced by everyone, because my life experiences made me so different that the shit regular people talk about just doesn’t fly. But now I’m fetishized by the same people who would hate me in middle school just for how I looked, and they would be terrified of me if I had a conversation about that time I saw a UFO.

[@hoibsh21]

IF snakes had fur they'd be extra long caterpillars.

[@moonfire41]

I wonder if when these kids got older they were thankful to have somebody who made them think.

[@myself9084]

Men are never entitled to your life or body. If they cant appreciate RESPECT you as a friend it’s a NO! Respecting boundaries is love!

[@angelabenedict]

Agreed! Thank you so much for the kind words and encouragement. Hopefully everyone here can see it!

[@KarinaCappucci]

I'm 21 and I joined the subculture BEFORE it was cool or trendy. I often get confused for an e-girl on social media. But your stories and experiences helped me through my period of self-discovery. You quite literally are a mother figure to those of us gothlings who were lost and alone.

[@angelabenedict]

You got in just in time! I hate this new e-girl trend. It's really frustrating the way they bring down the value of the subculture and the people they're in. They remove all the substance and turn it into this vapid, brain dead sex pot idea and the public just eat it up and look at us like we're one of them. I'm really happy to hear that I've been a mother figure to you. It's cool to find things out on your own but sometimes it's nice to have someone that's been through it there to guide you and give you tips to help you mitigate some of the pitfalls that we may have gone through so that you can avoid it and have an easier time.

[@TheCrowFKAPS]

Ouch, hearing how your father reacted was physically painful. I had a similar experience in middle/high school in the 2000s. I was bullied in a Christian school and when I begged them to let me go to public school my parents told me I'd be bullied anywhere I went. I understood the unspoken "it's because you're weird." When I got diagnosed with autism at 27, a lot of things finally started to make sense. Now I feel like the "normal" people are the real weirdos, constantly monitoring their own thoughts, image, and words to match the collective, never revealing their true selves.

[@theindigoboogeyman243]

Hey Crow Father, nice seeing you here. Your videos are cool. I also had the unspoken "because your weird" reaction from everyone around me as a kid. Didn't realize it was because I was clearly autistic until just a few years ago.

[@Batlord_Carcas]

Your story and mine relate very well!

[@the2ndcoming135]

Ah, yes. The moment when Belle noticed that The Beast had a sexy selfie from back in the day and still thinks he’s hot😌

[@moonfire41]

This is why I love the Styx song Grand Illusion. Im one of the few who dont buy into the phony mainstream.

[@rebbyy95]

i remember one time during history class my teacher called me 'dark creature' cuz i wore only black, everyone laughed. i'd be made fun of for drinking pomegranate juice also, they kept asking if i was drinking blood or something then made the WOoOoOoOooooOh noise? people were and always will be so childish.

[@angelabenedict]

It's amazing how someone's ability to think and function like a rational human suddenly takes a nosedive one's mob mentality enters the equation. Suddenly they become a bunch of roving cavemen bopping anything on the head that they don't understand. Pomegranate juice and blood? I hate to see them drinking apple juice because following that logic, it brings another bodily fluid to mind.

[@moonfire41]

Ive been weird my whole life, just went through different forms of it. When I was a teen, it was disco diva, then ufos. 30s, wicca and fairy magic. Then it was goth and paganism and paranormal experiences. Im so glad I found this channel!

[@qtfy]

same i get called "a creature from the dark" frequently just because i have an emo hair (doesn't help that i'm always reading dark and weird books in the middle of the class lol) but tbh it's kind of a cool description

[@MagenRaquel]

That boy was such a jerk, I hope Karma caught up to him.

[@angelabenedict]

Good point. Lemme check on FB.

[@manifestationsofasort]

@Angela Benedict Can we have an update?

[@angelabenedict]

@@manifestationsofasort He's completely non-existent. I can't find anything. I found one guy that might be him but it says he's from new jersey.

[@roxannablack666]

Wow. I’ve never related to a personal story more. It’s like a mirror image of my childhood. It doesn’t help that children can be awful to the ones who are not like them. (And it’s a tragedy when you have parents like that as well…) I’m slowly getting to a point where I’m becoming more comfortable with myself and could care less about what others think but it was a hard journey.

[@angelabenedict]

I think coming to the realization that there's nothing wrong with you and the only real issue that they have with you is that you don't hide who you are like they do, that's the defining moment. You no longer feel ridiculed or 'incorrect', you feel bad for them for believing so strongly in blending in with society that they go through life suppressing who they are.

[@daraghosullivan1430]

I'm so glad you're becoming more yourself.Please take all the time it takes and love yourself 😊🫀

[@cemeterygxtes]

I still haven’t found my “people” yet. I’m the only goth I know and it’s super isolating. I live in a small town and people do treat me like a freak, not that it bothers me too much. BUT I’m going to my first goth show in June (seeing The Mission, I’m super excited!!) so hopefully I’ll make some friends there. I’m autistic and introverted so it’s quite hard for me to make friends anyway, never mind the fact that I’m alternative, but I have a lot of faith in that show. I just know I’m going to meet some people there and make important connections.

[@angelabenedict]

Oh wow, the mission! That's going to be an amazing show, I'm so excited for you. You may not have found your people now but you will. I know how isolating it can feel to not have like-minded individuals in your life. I think one of the cool things I found about being in the goth was the open mindedness that I encountered. I don't even want to generalize as far as goth but alternative in general. I found that people were very open and accepting to the point where even mentioning your autism and the boundaries that comes along with that for example, maybe you don't like touching. They wouldn't bat an eyelash and immediately understand and respect it. I found the normal folk to be a lot more judgmental in that regard. I know you're going to do great, when all else fails bring a fidget toy with you, it's a nice buffer if you're talking to someone new.

[@shanleecaulfield7064]

I hope you have a fantastic time at the show and I hope that you’ll meet the right people there and make some really good friends. 🙂🖤

[@angelle050801]

I'm autistic as well and something I've noticed is a looot of other goths are too! Neurodivergents tend to get along best and I think we tend to congregate in alternative groups😁

[@ashleighsalinas8526]

They hated us and now they want to look like us lol. As a fellow weird girl I completely get what you mean though. Being from the rural south smack dab in the bible belt was (and is) an experience for a goth, to say the least, especially in the late 90s thru the 00s which were my formative years. I was always rebellious and discovered I'm bisexual at that time, so despite the bullying I'm extremely proud of my teenage self for being so unapologetic about it all. You eventually get to where you just don't give a fuck anymore because you realize that no matter what we do, there will always be people who judge and ridicule and ostracize you regardless. Therefore, it's our only shot at any semblance of happiness to live our truth, whatever that may be. Alt people's music and personal style is harmless. It may seem insignificant but there's no price to be put on one's self actualization and acceptance! To any young gothlings who may read this: next time a person taunts you with slurs or any derogatory label like freak, f@ggot, etc just be like "You're goddamn right" lol. Or the homophobic ones, those are fun. If they call you a dyke/f@g be like "Why, are you interested?" lmao trust me its hilarious. Say it with conviction. Love yourselves and demand that others treat you with basic respect.

[@PyroGhost913]

I was so shamelessly weird in school that my mom homeschooled me. It did help that my mom was a bit weird too.

[@angelabenedict]

We're you close with your mom?

[@PyroGhost913]

@@angelabenedict Pretty close, yeah.

[@SouthernGothBelle]

I felt this. I in recent years not only got diagnosed with ADHD but also embraced my goth side as well as my creative side and it feels so freeing even as a young adult in my 20s.

[@sagasumomo]

I LITERALLY just reflected on this today! I'm so happy to hear others experience this, I'm 31 and letting myself be completely me now. Apparently we were all very forward thinking.

[@angelabenedict]

My ears must have been ringing! Even today there are people who still cling to the belief that anything that deviates from the norm is weird or crazy.

[@claritey]

I relate to your story a lot. I grew up in a small Texas town in the 90s and was called a witch for being an atheist and dressing "weird" (I wore "too much" black and all my clothes were thrifted before it was ever cool, people just thought I was poor.)

[@angelabenedict]

That's funny, all the things we did that they ridiculed us for - they all do because it's cool.

[@claritey]

@@angelabenedict lol right? When I was 15 my mother had me presented at this high society formal ball and the dress she forced me to wear was this fluffy pink princess dress with big puffy sleeves and a giant hoop skirt with several petticoats. The other girls made fun of me for looking like a giant pink cupcake (they all had "sexy" form fitting formal dresses while I looked like a Disney princess plus they'd only ever seen me wear dark clothing, never all in pink so the dress was a drastic departure from how I normally looked.) At the time I thought the dress was hideous but if a girl wore that same dress to prom today she'd be the envy of all her friends. It would fit right in with the romantic cottagecore puffy sleeve dresses that are trendy right now.

[@athyalliea]

Can't wait to watch, I can tell that I'm definitely going to relate. Though I'm only in my 20s, even when I was in school Alt kids were treated badly too, probably not as bad as in the 90s though. :C

[@angelabenedict]

Let me know if it resonates! 🖤

[@buttershy_]

I'm 18 and we were still bullied badly in secondary school, 2014-19 for me. I think England is a good few years behind the more liberal areas in the States, socially speaking.

[@angelabartolone9150]

"Holding it I can actually make it 10x worse." I can confirm this. I was labeled a snob because I was terrified of talking to anyone except my super close friends which i could count on one hand. Yeah, no, not a snob, just high anxiety and extreme social awkwardness. Thanks though 🙄

[@ravengoddess4210]

Thats how I feel now. I don't have friends because I don't get "the norms" of society. I like to them "weird music" & "weird clothes" & "weird interests" my mother thinks I'm a Satanist. I've had guys on dates ask me if I worship the devil. No to both of those. Small Christan town. I am an outsider & a freak. I feel so lonely & like a total social reject, even by my own family, which I am.

[@thatbitchnoemie]

I can't believe we goths still have to feel that way in 2022. It is infuriating.

[@veilenedream5825]

you'll find your way out of it, don't worry!! when i started getting into witch craft as a teen, i told my mom and she asked why i don't believe in god. she was worried about me. now i'm a 37 year old witch and we have a good relationship. i spent most of my 20s traveling around and meeting all kinds of weirdos. now i live in a small town across the country from where i grew up. one of my closest friends here lives in the rural town he grew up in, but he's in his 20s and super confident.. he walks around town looking like roz williams and is known for how he stands out. some people appreciate it and some don't. you will find the people who appreciate you!!

[@lividsunshine8968]

I’m so happy the weird kids can be weird without being bullied. Most of my friends went to a different middle school. And high school I had 2 goth friends who didn’t think I was a mopey, death obsessed nerd. High school had a lot of grunge, hip hop and normies.

[@angelabenedict]

My high school was surprisingly loaded with a variety of alt kids. Grunge being the ruling class. Since we were judged so hard by the 'normal' kids, we kinda hammed it up and were a little extra when they kicked off.

[@pixydustfunadventures8374]

The 90’s was a harsh time. I was consider the weird kid as well which no one would talk to me. I was bullied for being different. I totally can relate. Thanks for sharing your story with us🙂♥️

[@angelabenedict]

I'm really sorry to hear that. The 90s really presented a lot of challenges and turning points where once we hit the year 2000, so much had changed and to continue to do so. I feel like 90s was probably the last decade that was able to get away with so many things that would be deemed to slur nowadays on regular daytime TV.

[@odothedoll2738]

I’ve never thought about it like that but not knowing why you’re “weird” makes it a lot worse. I always have because I was diagnosed with autism at 2 and my dad passed down his retro gamer hobby to me so all my life I’ve been going around like “IT IS I, THE NERD! THE NERD IS ME! BE BLINDED BY MY KNOWLEDGE OF OBSCURE CRAP AND VINTAGE TECHNOLOGY! COWER IN FEAR MORTALS!” I mean I’m a senior in high school right now so things are better now for the weird ones but it’s still hard. My symphonic/prog metal thing in middle school certainly didn’t help, nor does my current fetusbat status.

[@melrock06]

I was the wackiest person back in elementary. some of my classmates hated me for it, & in 3rd grade I was bullied & manipulated. In middle school I begin to be the quietest person in class. I felt like I wasn't going to find people that we have in common, apparently I did which was surprising to me. I became goth in high school, I found my people, they're not goths but they love me for who I am. Even my teachers think it's cool. Love for all the goths 🖤

[@boomstickcritique902]

Being able to find like-minded people you can be yourself around is a great feeling it's harder for some people to find that though if they live in a small town were it has fewer alternative people.

[@LValo-or1kz]

Even my teachers hated me...

[@angelabenedict]

Jokes on them, you're awesome and they a bunch of hamster-flaps.

[@1015SaturdayNight]

I'm honestly glad alternative kids don't face what we did. The alternative all ages club I went to had people driving by throwing beer bottles at the parking lot. Getting harassed is not fun. I think it's great that we can express ourselves more now than the 80s-90s, but we have to get these kids voting so that we continue progressing forward and not lose our rights. 🖤

[@angelabenedict]

Full on adults hurling those beer bottles and a place that they know good and damn well contains kids. I didn't have much faith in the younger generation on aiming voting patterns into a more positive direction until I saw all of the K-Pop fans organize and troll Trump by buying out tickets to one of his rally's and making him believe that he'd be showing up to a packed venue and no one was there. Then you had Claudia Conway, standing up against her mother and trying to speak to her generation on right and wrong. I think they're might be some hope yet!

[@cldxp8083]

Hey Angela, would you ever talk about how 'late goth bloomers' are seen by the community? I've always been a weird kid too but it was even more evident by the time i hit my teens. I started listening to classic rock and some more but never really delved into the goth subgenre. Even tho I was never a goth I've always had love and sort of adoration for the darker aesthetic and even the fashion. It wasn't until I was around 22-23 that I really started listening to actual goth bands and got more exposure to it, and honestly, I love all of it. I'm 24 now and have no friends with similar interests, it probably doesn't help that I usually dress in "normie" style. Because I don't really have an extensive goth history that predates my adulthood I can't help but feel like I'd still be an outcast even if I was around goths.... Not sure if this would be an interesting topic, tho!

[@Chill-mm4pn]

It's never too late to get into the scene. 🙂 You could look for a local goth event in your area. 🦇🖤

[@melisacaceres8740]

This is exactly my experience too! I would love a video about this topic. I love goth music and everyone I know and I bring it up to would assume goth is anything but what it really is. It feels isolating but idk how to find goth friends.

[@dayaautum6983]

Late bloomer Goths, I love it personally. As in I am so here for it. While I do have a history in Goth dating back to when I was 13 I took a detour and married someone "normal". Now that we are divorced I started becoming myself again it's harder now that I have aged. And I can and do dress the part but I have noticed that it can take time before you get accepted. ( while I support social distancing, the masks and the vaccine the pandemic hasn't helped either) There are a lot of real shits out there wanting to take advantage of the scene so if you are older, people need to get to know you and what is motivating you. The shits I am talking about are right wingers (everything from anti vaxxers to racists) and those wanting access to the young and vulnerable for nefarious reasons. I can't tell you how many times such people want to be my friend so they can get access to young Goths. I learned to be careful about that and check people out before befriending them. Remember, others will want to check you out too, let them. Be honest and open and give it time. Also, just be yourself. Goths are super easy to talk to and they have a way of spotting you when you aren't normal, even if you dress normal.

[@ambermartin4113]

My guess is that it is more obvious you have a goth side more than you realize so it won’t be much of a surprise it you start dressing like it. There isn’t an age limit to goth. Some people discover it later in life. Others were goth, got pressured to be normal then come back. Just go for it is my advice. And welcome to the family.

[@aytakk]

I didn't discover goth until I was 19 after high school. The idea of kids being goth at high school is pretty alien to me as I never saw any as we were a private school with strict uniform policies. I can't recall anyone ever giving me a hard time over it but there are plenty of people who try backdate when they were goth to high school even if all they did at the time was wear some black nail polish and listen to Marilyn Manson. When someone says they have been goth since age 12-14 (or younger) I am always a little sceptical.

[@grungygecko3680]

I've always wanted alternative friends, but there are barely any in my area (like 3 others in a school of 2,400ish). After a long time, I finally found friends that I like, but they aren't alternative in the slightest. They listen to pop/rap music, dress in bright colors, outgoing, total tiktokers etc. I never thought I would be friends with people so different than me. Nonetheless, It really worked out and they are awesome friends. The point is, many alternative people want to have alternative friends, but sometimes, the people you that are so "different" from you, are the ones that you might get along with the most!

[@stormapparition]

Thats why when I got my autism diagnosis i felt so relieved and justified!

[@nadialindemann6906]

Late 80's early 90's was a difficult year for me. I never, STILL DON'T fit in. I'm at peace with my 41 year old weirdo self.

[@angelabenedict]

There comes a point where all of that trying and oftentimes compromising our own beliefs, loves, passion, really suppressing who we are and inhibiting ourselves from living our true selves becomes exhausting. You realize that you're doing all of that and these people can't even muster up the strength to treat you like a human being. In the end, they're not worth it. Never cross oceans for someone who wouldn't jump a puddle for you. I'm glad that you're happy in your own skin. Weird is good!

[@nadialindemann6906]

@@angelabenedict from having being told I'm strange from age 8, because I did not listen to the same music as my peers. My folks were ok with my choice of music and attire back the 80s and 90s. Unfortunately back then and now, just being your unique self is a crime. I'm a 41yr old mom of 3, getting offended by narrow minded people that are afraid of the unknown or norm is so pre-covid.🤘🦇🦇🖤🖤

[@dremunoz2600]

Queens born and raised here, I can confirm being a "freak" was no bueno, at least in the early 90's It really was an open invite for looks, comments and a possible ass beating. I got the "what the fuck" look starting in senior year and college when I only wore black clothing...but honestly I really didn't care. I was incredibly introverted and desperately wanted my friends to like me. Not the easiest time for me growing up for sure.

[@angelabenedict]

Even in New York, the land of 'You Can't Shock Us' felt personally offended by 'freaks'. Glad that ship sailed.

[@dremunoz2600]

@@angelabenedict - agreed, people figured out that if I'm not bothering you then fuck off.

[@hugoravyn7947]

@@angelabenedict Los Angeles, too, unfortunately, and I was born here in LA.

[@don-dspid2404]

I was a child of the 80s. Puberty was not good to me at that time so I was kind of between the freak and geek crowds. One thing I learn though is the "freaks" were the real people and made the true and loyal friends. You are the lucky one. The others, the in crowd, were what we called the plastic people.

[@angelabenedict]

Exactly. They were the ones hiding and pretending.

[@Erin.exe4]

I can relate too. Also being perky gets you looked at. But, be yourself. When you do the right people will come around.

[@aleksandracatt]

I was also bullied in primary school because of my introverted and calm nature. I was everything opposite from perky. Kids called me undertaker and dead man. I was so scared at school because of bullying. I used to watch other kids play and think why can’t I be like that.

[@angelabenedict]

I'm so sorry that school was such a terrible experience for you.🖤 Kids can be brutal in that the wrong sort can view kindness and shy as weakness. I'm in my 40s and I still don't know the correct formula that will help a kid fly under the radar. Introverted = weak, extroverted = weird. Can't win.

[@aleksandracatt]

@@angelabenedict I was introverted and weird lol. I loved school because I loved to learn and read and I was a good student. But also hated it because of bullying. But yea I agree, if you’re different you can’t fly under the radar.

[@mordor_queen653]

Yeah high-school sucks when you don't fit the normie mold. I didn't start fully living in all aspects untill the day I graduated . After I graduated I embraced myself and what i like without judgment . Got tattoos piercings and finally did my hair and dressed the way I wanted to without being scared of what others would say.

[@wistfulchameleon]

Not even a minute in and I feel like you’re describing my childhood🥺🖤

[@angelabenedict]

It's surprising how similar many of us are. It's like we've led parallel existences.

[@kaylavintage]

I too remember the pain of being very extroverted and unapologetically myself. Then going into school and being ridiculed for it and forced to be more introverted to avoid bullying

[@gothfather79]

I remember being so scared that I would be exposed as a fraud. Sadly I felt this way even with my freak friends. Thankfully with time I eventually vanquished that fear in myself.

[@angelabenedict]

When you masquerade and play the game for so long, even when you find yourself and your people it can take time for those feelings of imposter syndrome to go away. I'm glad that it went away for you.

[@mrsmetalhead666]

I love your stories about your life, i love this quote "let your weird light shine bright so the other weirdos know were to find you." x

[@girlyghoul3]

Thank you so much for sharing, I can relate to this.

[@musayriven]

I relate to your story so much. I grew up in the early 90s as well and the kids in my school were similar to yours. They were interested only in pop culture, clothes, football, etc. I was different from them, personality wise, but my clothes were normal. I was humiliated twice: the first time they were bullying me and a guy who liked me (for no reason) and the second time they were bullying me because I had a crush on a jock. After high school I found out that I liked punk subculture and I started to become more myself (I also made a friend who was into goth subculture). So everything turned out good at the end. Great video and thanks for sharing:)

[@angelabenedict]

When you're a girl, for some reason it's always a boy that facilitates the mayhem in some way. And always fueled by romantic interest regardless of which way it's going. It's like they feel some sort of shame for being interested in someone who's a social outkast and therefore have to take it out on you because they're angry with themselves and to save face with the popular kids. When I was in junior high school I was like the secret that all the boys kept. They were mean to me in front of all the other kids but after school if they'd see me out at like a roller skating rink or wandering around the neighborhood as you do, they'd want to try to hook up and say 'I like you but don't tell anybody because I lose all my friends.' I remember once, I went to a party and the reason that I was invited is because one of my really good friends who went to a neighboring Junior high School happened to be really cool and popular but in a sports kind of way. She was on all the sports teams, she was tall, cool as hell, could dance circles around anyone and told everyone that we were cousins and not to mess with me. Even though she was Dominican and I was this short white kid, everyone believed her. So we went to this party and there was a kid from my school that I actually had a crush on and turns out he had a crush on me. He got the balls to actually come up and talk to me despite my 'status' and we really hit it off. Then, this girl Melissa DiBiase I will never forget her name comes up to him and just grabs him by the arm and starts talking to him and they walk out of the house and they're walking up and down the street and she's talking to him. He came back and told me that he couldn't talk to me anymore because of what I would do to his reputation. It's funny though, you become confident in who you are, you find your people who nourish all of those parts of you that you kept suppressed and even allow the exterior to reflect your heart - not only does everything fall into place but suddenly all of these people who once considered you social trash come out of the woodwork and have no problem with wanting to openly date you because suddenly you're cool. Well fuck them in their stupid butts.

[@musayriven]

@@angelabenedict It's a bummer because these boys are never worth it at the end. If someone can't accept you for who you are and believes what anyone else think, they don't worth it. That's why afterwards they end up dating or marrying someone that a friend, colleague or family member hook them up with but usually they don't get along on the long run. I agree with you when you know who you are and find people who you share the same values and beliefs the rest of the world doesn't matter anymore. Neither do those past love interests.

[@daraghosullivan1430]

I always love listening to your stories!Your are an amazing storyteller. When you were talking about how and why you pit on your costume of normal at the time ,that really resonated with me .. because I was like that too .I'm 19 and I've only started being myself maybe in the last year..even though I always knew I was 'weird'. I would always try to be 'normal' but now I found people like me and I'm not scared to say stuff 'I found this cool ass fox skeleton yesterday ,do you want some bones!?' So thanks for the great story😊

[@angelabenedict]

See, that fox bone comment is not only considerate because you're sharing your happy find with other people but it's a normal statement for you. That's the kind of crap that we would say that would get us looked at like we had three heads! Until we find others that are like ourselves whether it be online or in person it's harder to feel more confident in our own skin because we always feel like the odd one out. I'm so happy that my story is resonate with you. It's important we tell our stories because so many of us have led such parallel existences and these occurrences such as being thought of as weird for simply being yourself is far from rare or uncommon... But it feels like it to us. As if we're the only ones going through that very thing and hearing your story out of the mouth of someone else and then going through the comments and seeing those same sentiments reflected is so reassuring. People can really dull your light and steal your confidence when they make you feel so under the microscope for simply being yourself. It's important to be around people that will not only support you and who you are but lift you up. Thank you so much for your kind words!

[@daraghosullivan1430]

@@angelabenedict yeah I agree it's hard to be yourself when u feel like ur the only one...thanks for the comment and the great video 😊

[@DecadoPrime]

This is why I prefer to live my life the way I want to rather than dressing and acting like a bunch of normies. Your stories are honestly so relatable to me and I'm glad you continue to share them.

[@codeblack423]

Your videos give me Peace and makes me feel welcomed I been watching your videos since I was in High School

[@angelabenedict]

That makes me happy to hear. I'm glad I could be a source of comfort and acceptance for you.

[@gabic3781]

I began to tear up when you first mentioned your friend Dawn and how she described herself as a "freak", in a way that pretty much reclaimed that word. I went through a similar process now in my 20's, where I reclaimed "weird" and "eccentric", once used as derrogatory terms for me both by my parents and my peers. I don't know in which subculture I fit in, but I do know I am an "alternative kid" and I realted SO MUCH with your story. Thank you so much for sharing it!

[@osonicraft]

Your history could turn into a movie, it is so amazing to hear how you found who you are and all things that happened until then

[@georgiam.3957]

That's why most parents nowadays are the way they are . My mum was considered the weird one for listening rock music in the 80s , she's very open minded generally ,not always but most of the times my dad is very close minded in comparison. But so glad that my mum was that way cause now I'm the alternative one in the family.

[@angelabenedict]

Bonus wins for more reasonable and open minded parents!

[@ThatOneImproperLady]

I honestly love when you share your personal experiences and stories, it's really insightful, humbling and relatable. You're like the elder goth sister I always needed!

[@antimatterxxx]

I was outcast in my childhood and teens years..and still outcast even now in my 30s..I guess nothing wrong with being an outcast like a loner wolf you don't have to be with the herd to feel accepted or loved...l found freedom in my loneliness

[@angelabenedict]

I'm glad you found your happiness and freedom. When we're younger were taught to believe that being different is wrong and threatened with being ostracized. Turns out, they're the ones who are wrong and removing themselves from our lives is doing us a favor. Who needs someone telling us that the things that make us happy are incorrect? They need to piss in their own cheerios.

[@The6Eternal6Dark6Lord]

I was always different from the "normies" I hated school, never felt that I belong, I was quiet, always sitting in the back of the class, there was times I got bullied but not to much, I had few friends at least from other classes until I became weirder and started listening to metal music , wearing all black , nail polish , eyeliner, studs and I didn't connect with them anymore except one of them who became like me after a few years but I felt alone for a long time. I like goth music as well

[@angelabenedict]

It's really hard when you don't have others that share your interests and manner of thinking. Isolating and lonely, I'm sorry your high school experience was like that. I'm glad that you were able to make more of a connection in the end.

[@AdrienneLaVey]

It was so lovely hearing your story about making friends with people who didn’t make you feel like a weirdo! It was really validating. For me, I didn’t hit that feeling of belonging till I was in middle school and made friends with my best friend Gabbie, who also liked all of the spooky stuff that I also grew up loving. But I grew up in a small town, so even though I grew up later than you, the small, conservative town mentality is incredibly oppressive and the slightest step “out of line” would be magnified and amplified. Your first month of high school sounds god-awful. What that guy said to you is something I’ve heard so many times; I can only imagine how awful you must have felt. And that confrontation you described was just all too real to me. I can relate so hard. Even though I didn’t screw any guys until I was dating my husband, I still somehow earned the reputation as a “slut” just because I was a goth, and because a certain group of guys decided to make up stories about getting with me. You’re definitely right about how standing out now is not viewed the same way as it was back when you were a kid, and hell, even when I was in junior high and high school too. Even with all the horrible crap I dealt with, it was more endurable because I knew who I was and I had my best friend to get me through those trials. Your story was fucking amazing and I love you. 🖤

[@bibbidigothic2933]

I was voted most unique. I was a goth among emos. And undiagnosed autistic. While I do love the music and agree it is the core of the subculture, I found comfort by being amongst the freaks and weirdos. I have hardly met another goth in person. I have never been to a goth club or concert. But I dance around my room draped in black listening to Dominion by the sisters of mercy and be my spooky little self.

[@LadyNightsong]

Thank you for sharing, Angela. Before jr high part of me was very extroverted, but I became more introverted due to bullying. Thankfully, the second half of freshman year I made friends with the weirdos and somehow became the bubbly, outgoing baby bat of the group. My family still asks, "why are you so weird?" and I'm almost 42 years old. The best feeling in the world is finding people who get you!

[@angelabenedict]

When you're surrounded by people who judge everything about you as abnormal, you start to believe it. Especially when you've yet to meet a person similar to yourself. They steal your shine. Once you find your 'people' they build you back up and reinforce your belief in who you are. I'm happy you found your people 🖤

[@Sciathan_Leathair]

It sucks that you went through all of that. But it is a good thing that you shared this since it guides that us freaks still can find our people once we stop trying for conform to what society considers normal. Much love and hugs!

[@balzackify]

I only have one friend where I live locally. I'm so happy to have her. I was a goth kid in the military and 90 percent of the people hated me but I met my true friends that way.

[@Exilant1349]

Very similar to how i experienced my youth. Exept that i'm from a rural area and never had the opportunity to move away.

[@angelabenedict]

I'm sorry that you had a youth that was rough. I hope that things got better as you got older and you found your people.

[@MrWesternDuke]

Thank you - this strikes a chord for anyone who has been bullied as a child.

[@angelabenedict]

Sometimes it can be healing to hear your stories out of someone else's mouth. It's less isolating and makes you realize that you're not alone.

[@georgeates470]

I really enjoyed that you shared something very personal. Being bullied or made to feel indifferent does hurt. Angela, you became an amazing woman. Thank you for sharing. ❤️

[@Anonymous-wb3nz]

I got chased around and beat up on the streets in San Francisco in 2008 as a young 21 year old female for being Goth.

[@angelabenedict]

I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve that. The irony is that now, they either want to be you or date you.

[@KimiChanJapan]

I feel like everyone in the goth scene can relate even if they weren't goth in the 90's like us

[@denatoniumbenzoate8614]

Late blooming goth here. I got into the music after clicking on a It's Black Friday video and hearing Zombie a GoGo. I was like, "what IS that!? It's so weird!" And then I became completely enamored with deathrock, which was kind of a natural progression from literally listening to and preferring Halloween music as a little kid. A little more down the road, got into synthpop, and all the waves (dark, cold, synth, etherial, side of fries lol) and watching KZbin creators like Angela for more music suggestions. The look came on later than the music for me but I was listening to ASF and decided to dye my hair black at 20. The main thing is I grew up extremely weird in a small town in Texas. Zero friends. I got one (1) girl to come over but I only wanted to read ghost stories in the woods to her and she pretended she didn't know me after that haha. There are places I feel like I can belong in now. Yeah, now the same kind of jerk who treated me like a pariah in school hits on me in 80s bars, but I am openly and unapologetically exactly who I am. And I have friends who don't try to change me. It does get really freaking exhausting to explain I'm not a metalhead though lol there aren't many goth scene people here

[@TheKarret]

In the late 90s, my older sis got into alternative music and Tripps and black clothing etc, and I think she said she got called a Freak, and as far as I knew, that was the subculture of how she dressed/what she listened to etc; and so I was like * 3* COOL. I WANNA BE THAT. And so when I was in high school in the middle to late 00s, I would adamantly refer to myself as a Freak, while listening to lots of alternative music and being a massive weirdo amongst other weirdos, wearing black clothes, Tripps and excessive amounts of bracelets and necklaces. I'm still quite darkly inclined, mostly a metalhead, but I also like darker EDM stuff and I've been getting more into goth music lately... darker music in general just hits right. >v

[@TheOneTheOnlyMars]

Tripps was the best. ❤️

[@thedarkhivecorp]

We are Beautiful Creatures and we are precious. Stories like this are common amongst us. Luckily times changed a bit since the '80 and the '90. The Goth Subculture is still there and has influenced the mainstream fashion immensely, maybe second only to the flower power era (not that far from Goth thus). We deserve more respect. Keep going Angela!

[@thedarkhivecorp]

Thanks Angela

[@larkfly9273]

This was so cool to hear. I'd love if the world had more people thinking like this, what if snakes had fur - that's the kind of stuff that lifts me up because it's so different. I relate to this hard, it's so incredibly boring with most people - and when these types grow up it's just as boring - kids, renovating the house, the new grill, the next vacation. Nothing worse than people only living in the tangible world.

[@laural1703]

I feel like highschool and prisons are quite alike because either you blend in or you are against all the people inside. People is rude, cruel and fear rules.

[@endink336]

Literally have the same bat necklace 😍✨ my mom got it for me when i was in middle school ✨ still have it 15 years later 🥰

[@angelabenedict]

That's awesome! I'm just busting out the nostalgia all over the damn place!

[@franciscoxavier5070]

Content like this is why I continue to be a subscriber to your channel. I implore you - please write a book.

[@angelabenedict]

I always wonder if people would actually read it.

[@franciscoxavier5070]

@@angelabenedict You always inspire me. I wish for others to share the same opportunity.

[@rochelletabriz1142]

Kid you not this is relatable as hell, like I remember wondering why I never made a lot of friends at school and every time I talked no one would care or just be like what the hell are you on, or just full on ignore me, and being an energetic kid that was extroverted and loud n happy was judged a lot cause we werent the same. So changing a lot of my behaviour made me quiet n didnt speak unless spoken to, which gave the same amount of judgement. Honestly normies cease to suprise me by their behaviour to people who are different. Asholes XD

[@angelabenedict]

I don't know where the mindset of it being a bad thing to stand out in any way. To have the bar set so low that to even have an extroverted personality or have any interests or hobbies that weren't straight out of the modest living brochure that everyone subscribed to deemed you a social outcast. Things that were so normal as well, like carrying a tamagotchi or being a good artist or talking about something that wasn't in some generic teen magazine literally made people audibly gasp and look at you as if you're a nut. I don't know how they could not realize that they're the ones with the issue, not us.

[@ALIEN3966D]

You are extremely amazing Angelica thanks for your wisdom on the Goth subculture 😁👍❤️

[@angelabenedict]

Glad you liked it!

[@Lillith_Luna]

I feel this so much! I grew up in a small town in central Indiana and was always an odd one. I tried to blend in with the normies in middle school and the first of high school. I never felt like I fit. Nor did I really like them. I have had the same best friends since I was young. One since I was 5 and the other we were 10. Neither of them were normies. My best friend would wear flowery dresses with combat boots. This was in the 80s. My fiancé (who I knew then) was from a nearby smaller town and he was a metal head. He got treated horribly by classmates and his teachers! One time an older guy blindsided him and punched him in the eye. His dad went after the guy and he had to pay dr bills. People in town either called me and my best friend Wendy and Lisa, psychedelic sluts, and one stupid guy from another small town called us Russians because I wore what they considered trench coats. We were into 60s music. We were surrounded by idiots.

[@denine5232]

I can relate to so much of this! Im from Michigan and some places here are a lot like you described your experience Florida. I was also a weird kid. I had my own style, dying my hair bright colors ,wearing spiked jewelry and black boots. I also had a different kind of sense of humor and enjoyed something more than shallow talk and for a while I thought something was wrong with me. But I came to the same conclusion as well and I I really came into my own in high school and just didn't give an eff anymore. It WAS very different back then. You stood out if you looked or even thought differently. And people really couldn't handle a goth or alternative kid. Being called a freak was really an honor. I wouldn't have it any other way 🖤

[@julians7697]

The best things I have understood about Normies is that, you lose them when you identify with Goth and too many Normies are easily influenced by superficiality and crass commercialist culture. Too many don't have people to teach them how to coexist with different subcultures. The smartest Normies are the ones that teach themselves to see beyond their limitations and narrowminded world. School was designed to create workers , be comfortable in a uniform and diversity for the favoured few. We all deserve a natural environment that we feel comfortable. It is great to have friends that you have similar tastes and personalities. It is better to have a friend for life. Some parents forget that if you are a New Yorker of a particular section, it's natural that you feel like a fish out of water in Florida. It is better to be a freak than a narrow minded normie.

[@ellinib]

Being an alt. Kid in the late 90's (I'm 36 now, so I missed all the earlier stuff but satanic panic was still very much a thing), was like living through a real life version of "Disturbing Behavior." This video definitely resonates.

[@angelabenedict]

Satanic panic was crazy. I remember all of the talk shows in the 90s that tried to get as many Goths on as possible.

[@CosmicSiren.]

I grew up in Utah and it is honestly hard to be here. I'm becoming more introverted than I want just because it is impossible to talk to people. No one wants to have open discussions and even if I say something related to the topic they barely acknowledge me. So I totally get the outsider feeling. Thank you for posting this. It helps.

[@souniqueperson]

I totally resonated with this story. Up until 7th grade, I was very individualistic and weird and then I got bullied by these two girls and it took me years to go back to my true self. Not to mention, I had a mother who was very controlling and judgmental. Up until college, I dressed like a “normie” and because of the time I grew up in, I always felt like a poser dressing alternatively now. But after hearing your story, it’s made me realize that I dressed the way I did to blend in and through age and I guess trial and error of trying to be normal, I eventually found my voice again. Idk I just hope there’s a kid out there who sees this video and feels the courage to be who they are :)

[@MaryJane-k7x]

Omg! Glad to see you!

[@angelabenedict]

Glad to see you too! 🖤

[@luhhnay]

First of all, you look amazing! Second of all, thank you for sharing your experience. I had very similar issues growing up, but I grew up in middle school in 2006. I was always (still am) being the weird kid and not understanding why. It took me until after graduating high school to find a decent group of people, then deal with elitism, identity crisis.. Now that im older, I take confidence and love my "weirdness".. And Cheers to the music that seems to always find its way. 💗 Much love! Thank you again for your story.

[@violetchristophe]

The part about the traffic cone wizard hat got me... "And now I am wizard..."

[@chrishenniker5944]

That’s an English undergraduate thing.

[@violetchristophe]

Oh... Being that I've not gone for any sort of degree, I'm unfamiliar with that context of the traffic cone.

[@chrishenniker5944]

@@violetchristophe It’s in the context of get drunk, stick a traffic cone on your head and act stupidly.

[@jessicasparkles1619]

This is kinda relatable. I wish I was able to have hung out with my friends more in high school though. I wasn't as close to the few freinds I had because none of us had a car, I lived in the country so no public transportation and my parents wouldn't drive me anywhere so my support system wasn't there for the most part. I was definitely a "freak" and very much (and still am) different. Part of my issue is I'm autistic and wasn't diagnosed till my early thirties. So that explained part of why I was different. Thanks for sharing. It makes me and hopefully others feel less alone.

[@Gravity.96]

I relate so much with trying to mirror other people’s behavior and becoming inauthentic😢 in high school my best friend suddenly changed schools and I felt so alone for a long time, it was so awkward. I tried to hang out with other girls, mostly my roommates at the time (I went to a boarding school), hut it never worked out, and as I tried to learn more about mainstream pop culture to fit in with them and lean in on the things they liked, I just felt some part of me slowly die. They’re nice people and I enjoyed them, but we just never clicked unfortunately. It’s been many years, I now live comfortable as alternative, goth culture saved me.

[@GloomyGloomyCat]

its kind of reassuring in a way to hear that other people suppressed their interests and personalities because of ridicule /other reasons growing up. I was getting super into dark stuff during the ages 6-13 and was on my way to becoming fully goth, but then I had a run-in with severe mental illness and I was "convinced" that my interests were the cause of it (they werent), so I stopped EVERYTHING, avoided all my music and art, got different clothes, and would barely speak to other people out of the fear it would happen to me again. it hurt me a lot inside to not be who I was, longing to get back into it, and I was painfully aware of it for all those years. I eventually realized that I just needed therapy and I got back to being an extroverted goth my freshman year of college lol

[@Isa8893]

Omg!!! It reminds me a little of my teenager years, even though I didn't have a goth or alternative style at the time. I was criticized by my peers as being weird. As much as I wanted to fit in with them, I just opened my mouth and they rolled their eyes. I didn't like the basic conversations about fashion or relationships or football or superfluous things. And since I live in a small town, at my school, there wasn't that much freak, goth or alternative thing. At the time between 2005 and 2009 there were emos, but I never really liked the people themselves. They were very boring and depressing, at least the ones at my school were like that. 😂🙈 My friends were the nerds because I felt more comfortable being myself, they didn't judge me so much. And since I wore and still wear glasses and was shy it was the perfect group. Later in high school, from 2009 to 2012, I ended up making friends with other people from other groups and I ended up fitting in a little, but there was always that weird thing but in a good way and I didn't feel bad about it. It wasn't until much later, when I was 23, that I happened to find things related to the goth scene and I loved it. I ended up finding your channel and found out more about the goth subculture. Thanks! 😊😉 Because I already like dark things, like movies and books and my musical tastes are already a little alternative made me look at the subculture like: I'm part of it! 😳😍 Although I was afraid that it would make me weirder and that I would be judged a lot by both my friends and my family, but it ended up not being seen as a bad thing. On the contrary! ☺️

[@angelabenedict]

I'm sorry you went through that. It's a bizarre mentality to have but it very much existed that if you in any way thought outside the box of social acceptability, you are insane. And it wasn't even anything particularly weird or outlandish that would trigger their intense reactions. Sometimes it would be a minor and off the cuff statement that may include two or three big words that would set them off. Because it wasn't cool to be smart.

[@newdamage5945]

And yes the kid with the dog collar was very frowned upon back in the day and provoked a strong reaction from kids!

[@angelabenedict]

It was so bizarre how much of an infuriated reaction being weird would trigger in people

[@newdamage5945]

@@angelabenedict Yeah it's crazy how much times have changed!

[@glennwills7646]

Rarely have I watched a video on you tube that makes me stop for a minute and go “shit, that hit close to home”. Everyone knew I was the freak back in elementary school. By the start of high school my father had a stroke and was in a coma for almost a year before dying. The only things that kept me sane were my few fellow freaks and I could fight so only like 2 people were dumb enough to try that. I’m sure that parts of that video weren’t easy to mention, but thank you.

[@angelabenedict]

I'm really sorry to hear about your father. That must have been hard, especially being so young. Friends are the family we choose and when we're on the same wavelength, it's life-saving. I knew the hard parts of the video were important to tell because I'm sure there are a lot of people who felt pressured the same way I did and sometimes hearing your own experiences out of someone else's mouth can be reassuring and even healing.

[@glennwills7646]

@@angelabenedict losing any parent sucks, at any age. Losing one’s father at that age is particularly hard, especially for guys as now you’re trying to learn all the things your father would have taught you. Some turn to drugs, or drinking, I went with body modification. Started getting tattooed at 15 years old.

[@Greatricardo5244]

I never really fitted in with the norm , as a kid i hated going to other kids birthday parties and if i was being myself other people would look at me as if i was strange . So i tried to fit in but it never really worked and I slowly began to disappear into myself , yes I accept im a freak but not in a bad way so it's not hard to see why being Goth feels so natural to me because we just don't fit in and being Goth means I've come home.

[@Anonymous-wb3nz]

*fit in

[@OOOO0OOOO0001___]

same ever since summer camp 7 years ago, no one wanted to hang out with me; I got called boring and lame. I was told by a popular girl at my summer camp multiple times that I can't play family games or anything with her. One time my cousin joined the summer camp and the popular girl told me to leave and go somewhere else because he was accepted by the "cool" kids. That was a long time ago and I'm glad I'll never go to another summer camp or after school program again but that's not all... Me being ostracized got progressively worse when i was in the 5th-7th grade in a old school system. In the 8th grade in a different school, I had new friends who had the same or similar interests! now in highschool I have more weird friends that are relatable.

[@nadialindemann6906]

This resonated with me on a whole other level. Thank you for this.🖤🖤

[@wallflower07]

I can really relate to your vid. Back then, people at school never approached me coz they think I'm weird and scary and I never really understood why. As I grew up, I began to understand that I don't have a 'normal' personality, I'm not interested in the topics they're into and I don't have the same train of thoughts as them which made me stuck into my own little world faraway from them, I became guarded and more introverted. I dunno but I think I'm a late baby bat bloomer? 😂 Watching your vids are making me realize what kind of person I could possibly be, so thank you very much. 🙂☺️☺️☺️

[@angelabenedict]

I never quite understood why people had such a hive mind mentality and looked at others that didn't have the same interests as them as an alien that deserved to be ignored and mistreated. That's a horrible way to think. Nietzsche has one of my favorite quotes and says "the surest way to corrupt a youth is to teach it to hold and higher esteem, those who think alike rather than those who think differently." They were corrupted, we were the normal ones.

[@wallflower07]

@@angelabenedict true, people think we're crazy but they're the ones that are insane. It's really nice to know that there are people who understands persons like us, it makes me feel less alone. ☺️

[@freyatilly]

Amazing. Incredible reveal of such intimate details. Letting you know this is like music the my ears. It took me decades to come out as me. (Though still not goth me). However, that time is approaching. Xxx

[@ramiroortizjr.1221]

Being yourself is great! I could relate too, and I'm love being myself. Also, I hate bullies and I got picked on back in junior high school. The good news is these bullies got in trouble for picking on me, and it serves them right. Whoever judges us and anyone else, they will reap what they sow!

[@mr1597]

Another interesting post on your channel. I moved from Philly to LA in the 80’s and back then it was like going from earth to Mars so I can relate to what you said about being a New Yorker in Florida and meeting another New Yorker. As a Hispanic kid in gang infested east Los Angeles my main worry was avoiding the gangs, and so I met a kid who had grown up in Jersey who was into punk and I started hanging out with him and going down to sunset for shows, I then got into the hispanic post punk scene which was purdy big in the late 80s -different than the kids from the valley who were more what I would call goth. We didnt really have goths in east LA but most of us who wore black or the punk kids and skaters were considered the weirdos. Frankly looking back, Our main thing was to avoid the gangs in east la but through this we found our tribe. Thanks for another interesting post where one learns of the similarities or our individual experiences growing up.

[@myself9084]

Bless you for all that you are!🖤🤘🏼🤩

[@SBEtherwave]

Awesome to learn more about your back story! I think it's important to remember how things were because of course in today's world growing up online does indeed offer the protection that didn't exists back then. I spent most of my high school (08-2012) years indulged in headphones because I was picked at so much in middle school.. I just didn't want to hear the verbal backlash and harassment any further, and in fact switched schools because of it. Never fit in. Ever. Until college. I wish I had more alternative people around me growing up. It would have been a different experience. I found my home moreso online and that was our stronghold from the outside world. We were very much insulated.And from the side of the net I was from, you'd have to fight for your place. But once you had it.. it was amazing. I commend for your courage in coming into yourself and being able to do it in person.

[@angelabenedict]

Glad you enjoyed it

[@ErisDismantled]

What an amazing story. It makes me want to share my own experience. I completely relate to this xx

[@angelabenedict]

By all means, I'd love to hear.

[@ErisDismantled]

@@angelabenedict To keep it short, I'm not sure how much you know about NYC schools, but I went to La Guardia. I was a classical musician for most of my youth, and La Guardia was famous for being the HS of freaks and misfits. However, within this were the freaks of the freaks, and I fell into this category, 'cheating' on classical music when I started looking for something more. And there was alternative for me - for us, really - there was a small group of us. I started to feel a bit estranged from them also because my tastes became darker, as did my fashion aesthetic. By the time I had graduated in 1992 I was an entirely different person. I spent a year in Florida at a conservatory and that part of me had gone into 'hiding.' For reasons I will not disclose I left Florida and returned to NYC, living on the Upper West Side ( whole other set of issues there.) On the way back I was listening to various mix CDs (or were they tapes - jesus I don't remember that far back lol) a dear friend had made for me and sent for comfort - mostly goth and industrial nostalgia. Fast forward - making friends into goth, going all the way, developing disdain for what we referred to as 'bridge and tunnel douche' (the guy who did what he did is a perfect example of what I mean by bridge and tunnel), deviating from Industrial (never completely,) and... You can probably guess the rest - at least in that decade xx

[@ErisDismantled]

I should also add that NYC goths back then had a real bitterness towards the 'bridge and tunnel' crowd, as they were so known. It was sort of mean, but we could sniff them out. It was one of the reasons that looking good was so important, and admittedly it was really snobbish. making fun of them the way they had made fun of us in other environments was a childish way of getting our revenge. Later most of us grew up and stopped giving a damn, but back then, some of us got our kicks this way. xx

[@ErisDismantled]

My parents reacted differently- my mother adored me for my uniqueness - my father condemned me for it and still does to this day.

[@SBEtherwave]

Love the orange lights !

[@toriartemis801]

Only halfway through the video right, and I'll definitely continue watching after this comment, but just wanted to say it's wild how these overly judgemental kids viewed you and anyone else who was different as "freaks" - like if anyone was a freak, it was that girl who was stalking that poor boy! Edit: you know what, I take back what I said - that boy was an absolute jerk! That's so fucked up! 😠😬

[@angelabenedict]

In the 90s people hadn't quite gotten there yet as far as accepting things that strayed from what was considered the social norm. It's not that the freaks were 'weird', I mean we were certainly eccentric compared to everyone else but the real difference was that we didn't have that barrier that everyone else had that hid 90% of who they were.

[@toriartemis801]

@@angelabenedict That makes a lot of sense. Tbh I barely remember the 90s cause I was just a little kid at the time (in 94 I was definitely in kindergarten lol) so I don't really remember how judgemental the mindset was. But it sounds like it really sucked, and I know I'd have absolutely hated it as a teen - cause I was definitely insecure, introverted and weird myself (still am). I felt sad and upset about how that gross boy pressured you (yikes!). Kids can be so awful. But I'm glad you eventually felt liberated to be yourself, and I'm really glad you made awesome friends and found your people! Thank you for sharing, and being yourself, Angela! 🖤🖤🖤

[@Moonrocks02]

Also the 90s (I was born in 02 so I never live through that and am glad I didn't) were very misogynistic and the word of a man was easily taken over the word of a woman in any scenario 😬

[@-maxgomez.1134]

Thank you so much Dearest Angela for having permitted me to embrace my own gothic subcultural identity and weirdness with the most prideful of perceptualizations. 🖤🤘🏼

[@angelabenedict]

You are so welcome!

[@wernerbergh2593]

Yes i also transition in 1994 in the alternative scene as one of my best friends till today introduce me to the music before i actually hit the clubs and because i was young and in high school and my friend was in his first year of university i was going to my first goth / industrial club under his supervision because i was not 18 at that time and it was the best experience of my life till after 18 it was easier to go and live the life as an alternative person. yeah the Cramps was one of the bands i got introduce to when i went to my first club and the song was " Let's get F*# Up" i forgot which album but a popular album, I even remember the club i went to had neon light logo shape as the cramps name logo to give the club like a Helloween effect. Yeah i remember the 90's was the best but at the same time very controversy because the way people judged you even in the early 2000's it was the same but it never stopped us for who we were and what we wanted till the rave scene basically end it all that only small single clubs remain to keep the alternate scene with metal added. i now heard that in my country we still have the same and last r single club since the 90's ressurect because of technology and the chance of the Internet that remain till today and that wants me to hit back to the clubs after all these years but it never stopped me living as goth despite my age.i still discover new and old goth music which keeps love what i like. Thank u for this video it opens up so many memories xxx

[@gutwrench3147]

Thanks for sharing Angela. I’m sorry to hear you were treated like that and that your Dad didn’t protect you. I imagine how that had to suck but the bad things always seem to make the good things great huh? I’m happy you found your people and your place.

[@NaCar0207]

We are the weirdos mister 🖤

[@raindropmix8139]

Although I was born in 2002, i grew up in eastern europe. So being alternative was pretty looked down upon until recently. I got thrown paper balls in class just because I wore black clothes. Parents of other kids contacted my parents to tell them that I should stop wearing black. Fast forward a few years later, i was judged by the alt community for being a ‘fake goth’ because i dont do my makeup super extravagant. Then fast forward into adulthood, guys look at me on the street sexualising me and they ask me out but when they get rejected im the freak. Idc anymore i have my friends( normies and alt ppl) and believe in myself :)

[@davethayoungan2454]

As a guy i HATE how the lil boy rich manipulated you, i hope you healed from the situation and know it was not your fault and to never be ashamed for how that asshole treated or talked to you.