How Social Media Turned Us Into Youth-Obsessed Monsters

[@donatella302]

I am 68 and it saddens me to see young people being exposed to so much negativity about aging and appearance. We were youth obsessed when I was young and it was bad enough but it was nothing compared to today. Aging is a privilege denied to many and I truly am grateful to be where I am, even if I can’t do all of the things I used to. I truly believe it is important to live in the now and not obsess about either the past or the future. (Easier said than done) I too look to people older than me as examples of aging well and use them as role models. These are mostly people I know personally, not celebrities, who have a joy for life and great senses of humor.

[@anaalves3658]

My mom turned 70 in February and she loves being older, she is thankful to be around to watch her grandkids grow up. She has the right attitude, I have been looking at myself in the mirror and I am beginning to not care about the wrinkles, it takes time but I am happier for it.

[@melarie205]

aging is a beautiful part of life:(

[@Heycatchy]

"Aging is a privilege denied to many" is something that will stick with me forever, I have never considered this perspective and wow. Thank you. xx So true.

[@anniebe4992]

when I was a child I always strived to have the forehead wrinkles like my granny, I thought it was beautiful 😍 I even wrinkled my forehead on purpose 😅

[@mariamelnitskaya4493]

Thank you for sharing! Feels so good to read you.

[@bonnuitmonchere]

Thank you. I’m 29 and have been feeling “old” and “over the hill” despite being in better shape, more aware, more intelligent and well rounded than at any point before. Yet, I still can’t shake the feeling of being old. This is incredibly validating!

[@jsmithsemper4848]

STOP THAT right now, you are young. Just wait til you get to your 40s to start talking all this mess for real 😂❤

[@bonnuitmonchere]

@@jsmithsemper4848 Thank you 😭 you’re absolutely correct. It’s silly to feel like this!

[@calibby85]

Dude, you're young lol

[@Femmagorgon]

I am the same age and have never been happier/more confident with who I am. I don’t think I’m that old, I’m both saddened and disgusted by how women our age and up are treated as though we are expiring. The notion that aging is treated like the worst thing that can happen to a woman is absolutely ridiculous.

[@sageholla]

29 is not even a midlife crisis baby we gotchu

[@StaciBrownLovesStats]

I am 52. Next year will be my 30th year teaching high school math. After that, I have decided I am going back to school to get my PhD. I am so excited to be planning a new phase of growth! Life is too short to worry about getting old!

[@emilypickett6401]

That is SO exciting. I work at a university and one of my favourite things is chatting with the "mature aged" students about their life story and how they have pivoted back to university. It's such an exciting time. All the best with your studies!

[@sageholla]

Congrats!!! It’s so good for your mind and body to keep learning well into adulthood. You’ll stay young as long as you want baby

[@jlchwalibog]

YES YES YES I love this plan! "Life is too short to worry about getting old!!!" I just turned 49 and am applying to PhD programs next year. I've been in my career for 20 years and am ready for a change. As so many people have posted here, we're so lucky to have the opportunity to age, to grow, to learn and to become wise!

[@TheOpy83]

You are a true inspiration! I wish you all the best and have fun getting your PhD! ❤🎉

[@StrongImaginationA]

Watching this a year after it came out - good luck on starting your PhD!

[@bridgete1980]

I’m 43. I don’t even want to know what category of elderly I’d be on TikTok

[@rmcnally3645]

I have some lovely, incredible, badass role models who are in their early and mid 40s, and it's because of them that I am not afraid of going into my 40s. Somehow though, this is terrifying for my mother (70) who repeatedly comments about my changed waistline (after having two children in 24 months!) and the "wrinkles" on my neck 🙄 I just keep looking at those brilliant women ahead of me and try not to worry what the "young'uns" are doing on TikTok... Or the beauty stereotypes that some boomers are attempting to perpetuate... Otherwise, I think I'd be hiding in a hole 😅😅😅

[@SheDetective]

😂

[@faeriesmak]

I am 48…I am pretty sure that I would be in Tic Tok assisted living.

[@lowwastehighmelanin]

Yeah I'm 37 and getting kids telling me I'm old to which I just respond "ok?" I don't even feel fully grown up but go off I guess 😂

[@qwertyTRiG]

​@Low Waste, High Melanin Well, I believe it was George Bernard Shaw who said "old age is always fifteen years older than I am".

[@AnnelisR]

Look, I'm not going to try to run towards aging. That being said, even in my mid 30s, I still have birthday parties and tell everyone it's my birthday because every year I remember that I know a lot of people who didn't get the chance to make it to this age. Fatal car accidents, etc. Just to be here to age is a gift and it's not a gift everyone receives. Let's try and be grateful ♥

[@lemr.5173]

❤❤❤

[@kateg1570]

Car accidents are terrible and I wouldn’t wish one on anyone. That said, early death is not so bad when compared to decline of age and inevitable diseases. I’d take a relatively painless and fast early death over age.

[@flowerpower7065]

Absolutely!❤

[@blackstarkitty9387]

I firmly believe in being honest about age esp as women. When I was growing up I remember a bunch of women around me clearly between the ages of 30-50 and always claiming they're 25 on every birthday 🙄. Like I needed to see and know what to expect at different ages and stages. Then in my early 20s in undergrad, I had a boss that that was in her early 40s was honest about it, looked fantastic and was living life on her own terms-getting married without having kids, traveling, buying a home, having gotten multiple degrees and doing great in her career. I was just like omg thank you this is the role model I've been looking for!!!! I'm 26 btw.

[@kassandrarivera6174]

❤🙌

[@caitlinbenallack835]

I work at a university and I think it actually helps me remember that even the actual youth don’t look like the “youth” we see on social media, so why should I look like that.

[@bethanybsoprano]

I really hate the "I'm so old!" in my 30s thing and I feel like it's getting younger. "I'm so old I'm 27!" I've literally seen that. if you died in your 30s, people would say "she died so young!". SO YOU ARE YOUNG.

[@rashawnjohnson6851]

Thank you I keep telling people exactly what you said word for word.ive seen people die at 50 yrs old some in society will say that's old but when you die that age.youll hear older people say man that's young. And they're rite in life to die at 50 is young.

[@sageholla]

Me at 22 hearing my 24 year old friends say theyre old… like lady as a spring birthday you are hardly a year older than me and you’re still in college so maybe calm tf down

[@Draggonny]

When I say "I'm so old" I mean on the inside. My dad just turned 70 and he's always taken the mick out of me for my love of old music. I like old people hobbies, old fashioned interior decor styles, retro fashion. My mum has always said I'm an old soul reincarnated. I'm just waiting for my body to catch up. It does help my self esteem that I have a connective tissue disorder that means I look really young for my age. People have mistaken me for my stepdaughter's sister and I'm respectably old enough to be her mother with us having a 20 year age difference. I'm nearly 40 now and healthier than I've ever been. I went through some awful medical stuff, physical and mental, in my early twenties so I'm super proud I've made it this far. I'm hoping to live long enough to become an inconvenience to my pension provider.

[@melinaDom]

It’s happening earlier and earlier. I’m 26 and I get so much content about how your body falls apart the moment you’re 25. Younger people are also shocked to find out I’m 26 because I look “ so young” as if it’d be weird for a literal 20 something to look youthful. Maybe I’m not remembering well but this obsession with youth wasn’t as bad even 5 -6 years ago. Kids have so much age anxiety these days. I have older cousins who were in their 20s and 30s when I was a teen and I don’t remember thinking they were old at all. I saw them as cool young grown ups! I understood that 20 and 30 somethings were still young and that they were different from my parents who were solidly middle aged.

[@Riu-bw4bl]

Same age and noticed the exact same thing. I’ve seen so much “your old at 25” it probably really would’ve messed with me if I was younger. It still kinda does to be honest. And everyone is kinda contributing too. Even kids I see referring to random 20 something on the internet as old is worrying. When I was 12-17 no one said anything like that online.. or even really seemed to care for that matter. It’s weird man. Its like things just go backwards nowadays.

[@pomegranatejelly9767]

@@Riu-bw4blIt's SO weird, I'm 25 and look my age, but because I don't have wrinkles the kids I teach are convinced I'm a teenager. When I was a kid I saw people in their 20s as young yet mature and cool as heck, it's weird seeing people in their mid/late 20s getting treated like they're geriatric.

[@rodemates]

For me my twenties were kinda overrated. I had to work so hard at crappy jobs just to get by. Also juggling completing college with full time work was exhausting. I have time and money now. I'm much happier also.

[@kateramckay4317]

I'm still in my 20s but I agree it's overrated. I had to work crappy jobs to gain "experience."

[@CreamIceMs]

Yes! Hitting 30's for me was like "wait, I'm still so young, but I'm also more mature, more experienced, and I have moneeeyyyy"

[@Emily-zo9nj]

I’ve never felt such relief as I did turning 30. So much anxiety and self-doubt in my 20s. I LOVED my 30s. Now I’m in my early 40s with a toddler and I get to regularly play in playgrounds and make Lego’s and I feel more young at heart than ever.

[@CreamIceMs]

@@Emily-zo9nj that's very sweet. Thank you for sharing a glimpse into how bright being 40 with a child can be 😊

[@MS-we9gn]

Lmao I’m about to turn 30 and still don’t have money

[@wil.ottosson]

THANK you. And also: aging is a privilege. This hits you in your face when you lose someone who is far too young to die. I lost a 22-year old friend five years ago and it forever changed my outlook on life and aging. I enjoy getting older and I'm grateful that I even get the chance!

[@francescaeve8776]

Ironically, when I got botox recently I realised how young 35 actually is. My injector was 56 and we were talking about life and picking up new hobbies as an adult. It made me realised that not only am I young (I had twenty years on her) but she's also has a lot of life ahead of her. I always felt massive pressure in my twenties to do all the things - climb the corporate ladder, travel, make life long friendships, have a beautiful home, get a husband, have kids etc that I felt like by 30 i would be running out of time to make these moves. Now, I've realised that so many good things are ahead of me and my thirties have definitely been my favourite decade.

[@funnydayz]

I needed to hear this. Thank you 🙏

[@Draggonny]

You can do all the things. My first marriage fell apart in my late 20s. I'd been too ill to work so I had no money and no references. Within 10 years I've had many jobs, rented many flats, bought a house, a car, got married again, got dogs. I rebuilt my entire life again from nothing at age 27. I'm sure you have a better starting point than I had so you have nothing to worry about.

[@cheryljohnson5680]

Really appreciate you talking about this! I’m 31 years young and was recently starting to get really down on myself for my face showing very minor signs of aging. I realized that my insecurities were coming from TikTok and constantly seeing people using beauty filters & comparing that to my own reflection

[@sewpungyow5154]

George Carlin observed that saying "X years young" highlights society's hyperfixation on youthfulness

[@sageholla]

So problematic! I for one think the goal should be to develop more smile lines than frowns 🎉

[@sophiallama]

I'm 19 and for some reason, it seems like 30 is old even though it's not. 30-year-old people don't look physically old; they look quite young still. What makes 30 seem so old to me is how much smarter a lot of 30 something-year-old are compared to a teen or someone in their early to mid-20s. It feels like they have exponentially more knowledge and life experience than I have.

[@AuthorDiannaGunn]

A woman I greatly admired once referred to her wrinkles, especially her smile lines, as trophies she had earned by surviving the many horrors life had thrown at her. I try to feel the same way about the first wrinkles appearing on my face now, but it's hard in a culture that's so obsessed with youth

[@losermillie]

yes 🙌🏻 🙌🏻

[@laukonig7454]

I actually deleted tiktok because of this. I'm 23 and it really affected my self esteem. I can't unsee lines on my face now that I never noticed before. I feel terrible because I see how it's affecting older women in my life too. I don't like seeing them look at themselves the same way I do, I know how they're feeling

[@pr23487]

Same.

[@pompokkko]

As someone who's chronically in tiktok, tiktok can so much useful and fun if we learn how to "adjust" the algorithm to our liking. For example, if something is irrelevant or could negatively affect me, I block the account or click not interested. But I think, in general, social media could be bad for us.

[@TamarasTimelessBeauty]

Such an important topic and thank you for your research and wonderful presentation pushing back on our youth obsessed culture. The only Birthday that ever gave me pause was 50...and that was partly my empty next transition and also the realization that I likely had more years behind me than ahead...but I got over it quickly and one of my FAV Birthdays ever was 60...I had just cut off the last of the hair dye and was LOVING my silver sparkles, AND I started a youtube channel at age 60 so was completely inspired by this new adventure. I'm 63 and feel more comfortable in my own skin than ever, AND I'm excited about the (hopefully) years ahead. It really makes me sad when I hear young gals in their 30s (and even their twenties!) genuinely afraid of aging. I really don't remember giving getting older a second thought, I was much too busy raising my daughter, getting my career going and having fun. I did start taking better care of my skin in my 40s, although not out of fear, and seriously DO wish I had started earlier, but not in an obsessed way...just basic self care like SPF for instance. Unfortunately i have used the words anti aging in video titles but I am consciously trying to make the switch to well aging, pro aging, healthy aging and better not younger. Although I enjoy creators of all ages, I 100% agree on the importance of intentionally curating your social media feed to include inspiring older people. Exposure to vibrant, healthy, older women (and men) can really change our perspective of what is beautiful. I follow several both on youtube and insta that I highly recommend: Since I am in my 60s...that means ladies in their 60s, 70s and beyond. YT...ladies in their 60s Little Poet, MaryEllen after 60, The Hooded Lid, and of course Angie Hot and Flashy (and many more) ladies in their 70s and 80s: Crushing Their 80s, Rxstarmom, Sandra Hart...And so many on insta as well...just search grey hair, mature women..and you will find tons of older, inspiring women rocking their wisdom years. Anyway...thank you thank you thank you for this video. ❤

[@bluebird4815]

Omg i love watching older ladies' youtube channels. I am literally obsessed and in awe of how beautiful and vibrant they are. Ohhhhh and the endless priceless advice i get from them. Been watching those channels since i was about 23 and now i'm 30 and still can't get enough.

[@vanessam4980]

I love your content, Tamara! I’m in my 20s but I watch you because you have great reviews and routines and I like seeing that age isn’t really a factor in beauty (of which you have loads) 💕

[@TamarasTimelessBeauty]

@@vanessam4980 😘💕❤

[@FeministCatLadySpinster]

To be fair... we were youth obsessed before social media. It definitely doesn't help, though. When I was 16 (2000), I decided I would stop smiling so much to avoid wrinkles (that decision didn't last long). I can only imagine what it would have been like if TikTok had been around then.

[@fenree]

This is actually so sad to stop smiling just for the sake of not getting wrinkles. I also thought about that because I play a lot with my facial expressions to show emotions, I feared getting wrinkles at a young age. However, I couldn't bring myself to have a more "emotionless" face, smiling is just something that I do automatically and I'm no longer mad about that. I'm now 23 and have some small smile lines around my eyes which I don't mind at all. Quite the contrary, I think they are beautiful on me an on other people as they radiate positiviy and happiness. Glad you didn't stick to not smiling 😄

[@mkitten13]

I'm turning 40 next year and I have honestly never been better. I recently lost a lot of weight, I took up swimming and I generally feel really good both mentally and physically. Any aches and issues I've had stem from far earlier in my life and in fact they feel like less of an issue now than in my teens and twenties. I feel sorry for people caught up with chasing youth, my 30s were honestly better than my 20s, which were better than my teens. And I feel my 40s is gonna feel even better.

[@suppertimesims]

I just want to say thank you for this comment because it's extremely uplifting to me, especially since I'm disabled and have had very negative doctors that were very disrespectful to me in the past about my disablity.

[@mkitten13]

@@suppertimesims wow, thank you :) So sorry that the doctors have been so disrespectful to you, I really hope you found a better one, someone who can treat you with the respect you deserve.

[@suppertimesims]

@@mkitten13 yes actually now I just go to the private doctors that actually care for my injuries the best because they treat me much better thanks I appreciate it continue to be you

[@gurlperson89]

I’m 30 and you’re exactly right. 2-3 years before my 30th birthday I completely changed the way I consume social media, not in a rejecting everyone who’s not where I am way but just more so gravitating towards the ladies that are interested in what I never want to lose. Freedom, fun, love and play. Due to this, I don’t wish to be any younger or look any younger EVER. I only look forward to today and the future and it really feels good. Bonus good news is when you truly feel good, you look good too.

[@squenneville1]

At 39 I’ve found that my body goes through various stages of worsened and improved health, and that it has a lot to do with things like my mental health/stress load, diet and exercise regimen, etc. it’s not that our bodies are necessarily falling apart, it’s that our youth doesn’t save us as much as it previously did in our twenties if we abuse our bodies. I absolutely FREAKING HATE filters. I hate them. People don’t look like the filtered pics they post IRL. All it tells me when I see a friends heavily filtered pic is that they are insecure. It breaks my heart because I think they’re beautiful. I am not afraid of wrinkles or gray hair, but I do want luminous skin with those wrinkles, and healthy looking grey hair. So while I’m not interested in injectables, hair colouring or plastic surgery, I do have an at-home regimen to help my hair and skin look their best.

[@shelbymary212]

Re: the question at the end. Public libraries have such fun free things to do! Check out their event calendars for adult programs. I’m a librarian and recently hosted a Bridgerton High Tea. Librarians are actively trying to reach millennials by putting on interesting programs.

[@0fficialselena__90]

Oh my gosh! I'd love to go to a Bridgerton high tea in a library, that'll be a dream!!

[@Pursuitofhealthwealthhappiness]

I could NOT relate to this more. I turned 30 in September and I am SICK of how many sponsored posts and ads I get in my feed for all things babies and pregnancies - how assuming that now I've hit a 'certain age' I am now at a completely different stage of my life that MUST solely revolve around getting pregnant and all things baby. I am literally NO different to how I was aged 25-29 but now I'm 30 I need to settle down. Social media has a lot to answer for anxiety and depression! Nay x

[@alicec.6195]

A few years ago when I turned 30 I changed my facebook age to 90 to avoid those adds. I have to tell you adds for 90 yo ladies are much better 😂

[@Pursuitofhealthwealthhappiness]

@@alicec.6195 that is hilarious and what a bloody brilliant idea!! I too, now identify as a 90 year old 🤣🤣🤣

[@anthonysilva5312]

I was more fit at 45 than in my 30’s. I’m turning 60 this year and working on my Covid comeback!

[@misstinab8175]

I just turned 60, also. When the gyms closed, my fitness routine fell off. I focus on stretching now, because if I don’t, I definitely feel my age.

[@Polkadot2]

Absolutely THANK YOU for this! I am 38 and feel like I'm 48! I have to constantly remind myself that although I am a grown woman, I am not old.

[@sundayscheming]

Chelsea my queen, could you please share some of those amazing older women who are thriving that you follow? 🥰

[@alwaysemilia]

Yes I’d love to check out some of these ladies!!

[@Fluffcat65]

Yes, share those! Pretty please?

[@getaresios303]

yes, please

[@therealdeal3672]

I'm 62 and I stay off of Tik-Tok and intend to keep it that way. But ageism is a very real thing. Ultimately, I really embrace my face and body at my age. They've brought me this far and are going to keep me going. Doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks anymore. I used to worry so much. I was objectively beautiful and didn't actually get to enjoy it because I was often paranoid about not being beautiful enough and I'm glad I'm over it. Still doing well for my age but actually have a better relationship with my body now than I did when I was in my twenties and thirties. I'm more loving to myself and I know myself better and understand who I am and what I come from and when I was in my twenties and thirties I was still completely clueless about those things. In fact, most people in their 20s and 30s not to even mention earlier than that are still pretty clueless about who they are and what they come from. To truly grow you have to learn to reflect on all the circumstances of your life and the people and glean your lessons and accept that the only constant is change. Once you make friends with that you can accept that aging is a part of our life and embrace it because it's good and there's only one alternative. All that said, we do need tax incentives for businesses to hire employees over age 50 because ageism in the workplace sucks big-time and should be incentivized out. I plan to work until I'm 67 and I have a retirement plan for how to generate sufficient cash flow when I quit working. And a lot of young people better realize that they're going to have to work until they're age 70 so they better come to terms with what it is in life to grow older and have some damn respect! LOL! It takes hutzpah to hang in there baby!🎉

[@SteMegManzaroli]

I’m 36 and after a few years of depression and binge eating I’m finally recovering but I can’t stop thinking about my beautiful healthier and younger self, I will never have that body again and I feel so guilty about it because it’s my fault, I’ve neglected self-care for years… Luckily my 53yo husband always told me that at 30 you are just at the beginning of your journey! And that I shouldn’t touch the first grey hairs growing on my head because they’re beautiful and represent maturity 😊

[@wl9162]

I'm glad you're talking about this! I'm a young millennial (late 20s), but even when I was like 16, I didn't rly consider a person's 30s to be old, but I didn't not? I think people under the age of about 24-25 (and especially minors, for obvious reasons) often haven't been friends with anyone outside their own age group, so they're going to fall into this trap, and then social media propagates the issue and just pours a bunch of fuel all over it... And this mentality also ruins everyone's life. Teens are having crises over turning 20, 20-somethings are having crises over turning 25, late 20-somethings panic over turning 30, 30-somethings feel miserable because people online dog-pile them to avoid their own existential fears (while also panicking about turning 35-40), like... when do any of us get to just enjoy the decade we're living without worrying about this collectively-imposed ticking clock that society has placed above our heads? Side note, developmental psychologists do consider your 30s to still be a young adult, typically. I know that shouldn't even be the point, though, since you don't need to be a young adult in order to matter and to live what I've heard are often the most incredible parts of your life (plus it's honestly really sus how many social norms fetishize youth, like... yikes, maybe we shouldn't do that for a LOT of reasons). But you nailed it when you described 30-somethings as feeling pre-emptively old. 30s is a young adult still, you haven't even generally reached the halfway mark of an average lifespan lol

[@20newleigh]

Yes!!!!!! All of this! Thank you! I’m 36 and feel so bad for all the women in my life who were/are saying that they’re old ladies at age 28+. I remember being 24 and 27 and women 4-11 years older than me saying they were old ladies. I remember thinking what the heck! You’re only a few years older than me! Am I supposed to ve feeling this way?! The reality of “Geriatric pregnancy” is also not helpful.

[@catcreme]

I'm 29 and honestly, I think life has become more chill. In my early twenties I felt so much pressure to act my age and wear makeup. I don't like makeup, never did but I won't lie that it doesn't make my face look more polished, youthful and put together. I've never cared about my appearance too much, but once I was called an ''old lady'' by some kids on the street, it really shook me how others percieve me. I'm still not going to get surgery for my double chin, chubby cheeks or undereye bags. Those are my features, and I'm not going to change them.

[@andreadekrout5222]

I am 43 and am fitter and more flexible now than ever. If I could travel back in time and talk to my 34 year-old self she would not believe how awesome the next 10 years were going to be. I work all over the world doing things I care about for awesome organisations , my husband and I have fun, and I love being a chid-free by choice pet parent. I am sure that 54 year old me will be having even more fun spending her cash on good wine and awesome experiences rather than hair colouring and botox!

[@aimeeb.5683]

This video needed to be made! ❤️ Thank youuu. Why 30 is viewed as some kind of turning point is beyond me. The only “old” feeling I have is reflecting on the time spent and commitment I’ve given to learning over the years. And I’ve learned a lot across many metrics- including as an amateur athlete. At 32 I’m more ready than ever to beat some ass.

[@katypiette3581]

As someone who will be 40 this year and widowed for nearly a decade, I am unbelievably grateful for aging! Most of my now friends are in their late 70's (older than my parents) and I've learned that they are just getting started to truly LIVE their lives. They have more friends, and are way more physically and mentally strong than myself. The youth obsession is so terrible because it focuses solely on outward appearances. Do I want to look 'good' as I age-yes. But what I find the most attractive about any human is their wisdom. Let's put value on that. What have you learned in this precious life? How are your relationships? How much do you know about yourself? Wisdom is sexy. I also don't have any social media accounts anymore (creepy dudes following a 30 something widow isn't my jam) and I know how unrealistic EVERYThINg on social was back in the 20teens, let alone what it looks like today. My advice to the youth: you're not old until you've given up on learning, aging is a privilege, and the only thing your guaranteed in life is that you will one day die. That's it. Why spend it obsessing over a number and how we look?!

[@midorisour2844]

I'm a 36-year-old first-time mom and I always heard messages about how much harder being a mom is in your 30s because you are so much older, weaker, tireder, etc. In reality, I feel fantastic! I dealt with insomnia throughout my 20s and early 30s, so I don't feel especially sleep deprived. I'm used to it! And I'm in fantastic shape (not the case in my 20s), so carrying my 22-lb baby everywhere with me is a piece of cake. Thank you for your positive take on aging, it's refreshing!

[@annarompca9072]

Thank you. I am 22 and I have serious anxiety when it comes to aging. Watching your video is a step to deconstruct some harmful believes

[@bridgetbrownvargus]

I'm 23 same girl we'll be fine though. we're alive for a reason let's enjoy "being young" while we still can so we can still feel young even when we're not

[@IndigenousExotical]

Chelsea, you encouraged me to follow older women a few years ago and boy did that changed my perspective on life. One of my favorite influencer is fumi DF here on KZbin!! She married at 39 and was blessed with a son in advanced maternal age.

[@TheConfidenceNetwork]

You become what you think and what you surround yourself with. If you think you are old, you are. If you believe you are vibrant, valuable, successful you will be. I’m living my best life at 55. I started my one business at 52 and am claiming my power everyday. Focus on how you evolve as the years go on. I only watch SM that empowers me vs. making me feel “less than.”

[@colettithekid]

Good looks should be a bonus to go along with real world skills. If your look is your “brand” or golden key to the world, you’re going to run into a dead end no matter how many stupidly expensive products you throw at it.

[@haggish_]

i never understood the fear of aging, even when i was younger (35 now). why would anyone ever pour that much work and mental energy to fight against the inevitable? i'm way too lazy for that, lol.

[@gabiw2364]

I am 34 as well, have also been struggling with the fear of aging, and I love what you said in the intro about connecting to other women from all walks of life. This has been crucial for me, too, and I am so grateful to be working in a niche creative industry that allows me to have lots of these connections and networking stuff with the aforementioned women. I now personally know inspiring women in their 70s that are creative, happily married, travel the world by boat, and write books. Or women who did a completely new start (career-wise or in their personal lives) in their mid-forties. Or even women in their nineties who are still so mentally active, interested in a ton of things, and are a real well of knowledge and wisdom. Life is not over at 25 even if social media (and traditional media) wants us to believe that.

[@kimmontenegro2258]

I'm 48. Went to the gym yesterday and couldn't believe how amazing I felt after a TRX workout! Praise G-d for feeling stronger now than when I was in my 20's❤

[@whateverforever505]

Woo ChadChad mention! Seriously though, this is such a needed video. I've been attempting to spread positive messages about aging, elderly people around me, and speaking against the beauty and cosmetic surgery industries. Thank you for making this video! ♥️

[@lizk555]

I will be 45 in a couple of months, and honestly, I’m healthier and happier now than I ever was in my 20s. TikTok, Man… it’s an… experience. 😂

[@jsmithsemper4848]

I’m so much happier now in my 40s too.

[@TheMichelex20]

Same.

[@khazermashkes2316]

My body is falling apart in my 30s…because of multiple illnesses that went undiagnosed in my teens and early/mid twenties. The only reason I need Botox is for severe migraines, not trying to look like a teenager in an anti-aging skincare commercial.

[@vb7960]

Yep... peoples' bodies starting to fall apart in their 30s can be a result of bad healthcare access... Saying «Just go see a doctor» if your back hurts is such a simplification of a complex series of problems that are often out of the control of the person Edit : typo

[@dianarusnov292]

I'm in the same place as you, except I get botox for the aesthetic reasons. In my late 20s. Illness actually has aged me and made me tired. The botox actually makes me feel and look like myself, and there's nothing wrong with it.

[@jae-annedanae4512]

While I do sympathize with you, let’s not pretend this is the norm for people who get Botox. Chelsea is aware that there will be exceptions to what she is saying. She can’t break down every possible exception to the rule in her video.

[@khazermashkes2316]

@@jae-annedanae4512 The Botox but isn’t that important. My main point is that many young people do have bodies that are “falling apart” even if it isn’t from aging.

[@hezekiahthompson6817]

I pay for KZbin specifically to AVOID ads, so I hope it helps to know you're getting my money directly 👍🏾. I think this is a good channel. You have a good head and good spirit about you, Chelsea.

[@Katiedora122]

Benefit of having neutral-at-best body image my whole life: aging isn't bothering me at all 🤣 I mean, when I hit 30 my knees and shoulders got a little rebellious and demand a lot of attention after any physical activity, and some laugh lines developed on my face, but I also look younger than my parents did at this age because I don't smoke and barely drink. Plus, my mom died when she was 54 after being sick in a way that aged her super fast, so I have a pretty extreme scale of what aging looks and feels like.

[@kellykarp5303]

This is one of those videos that makes me want to log back into facebook and instagram and send it to every person I know. SO GOOD THANK YOU!

[@jodywinter8171]

Justine Bateman was just interviewed on the Today Show about ageing gracefully. She has a really interesting perspective and has been able to positively influence younger women and make them less fearful of getting older. I'm almost 52, GenX, and apart from the peri-menopausal symptoms (ladies, start learning about it from age 40 - trust me) and general aches and pains, I am way more together now than I was in my 20s and 30s.

[@NadezhdaLiaskovskaia]

Hello Chelsea! Thank you for the video. I’ve noticed that you often rant on themes that could be defined as beauty sickness. I’m reading a book about it, the author‘s name is Renee Engeln, Phd. This is an eye-opening book, really. You know, it could be wonderful if you could somehow invite her on TFD. She is not presented on KZbin except an rather old TED talk and some short interviews, it’s so unfortunate! I’m sure if you would have her on your podcast, a lot of women will benefit from this talk :)

[@thesilversummer]

I'm 32 and having exactly the same observations about social media forcing this skewed perspective of ageing on us. It's crazy that I actually needed this video today so much - and here it is! Thank you ❤

[@inkypunk]

Thank you for this. I'm 28 and when I complain about experiencing serious joint pain, people just tell me (sometimes joking, sometimes not) that I'm just getting old and I need to get used to it.

[@101yayo]

I am 30 and my life is great. I don't have any social media apart from KZbin.

[@monique8322]

90s baby here and I feel real bad for gen z. Social media and peer pressure is at all time high. They even have lawsuits against instagram due to the negative effects on our younger generation.

[@Jasta85]

I'm so glad I never really got into social media. Created a facebook and twitter account at some point but just never used them and almost every day I see events in the news that reminds me what a good decision that was.

[@fathercrellick]

im 25 this year & i spend the last 6 years of my life going in and out of a psychiatric hospital because i was diagnosed with clinical depression. Now that im feeling a lot better, i feel like a failure that im graduating uni at 25 & still unemployed.

[@thalmorbiznitch4028]

Oh heyyyyy it’s sponsored by my bank. Wowza (I’ve been with PNC bank for 8yr now and I actually love ittttt)

[@heatherkaye6362]

About 4 or 5 years ago I joined my church's Chancel Choir. Archaic sounding, huh? In my mid 40's I was the "baby" of the choir until my kids decided they wanted to join too. But you know what? The ladies in my choir are gorgeous! They have wrinkles but they glow with happiness and kindness. I think the exercise of singing helps to oxygenate the skin and keep the face a bit firmer as well. They also have great fashion taste and I'm always admiring their polished looks. Being around them every week and developing friendships with them has made me excited about life after 50 which is closing in fast now!

[@cramperella]

I was miserable and insecure in my 20s and 30s. The older I get, the happier I am. I don’t give a s**t about what other people think of me. Youth is often wasted on the young. You’re just too insecure at that stage to live an authentic life. You don’t have to drink the coolaid.

[@KathwithaK]

I 👏 haven't 👏 even 👏 reached 👏 my 👏 prime 👏 yet 👏 yass queen, now that I'm 25 I feel like my life is still getting better and better and I had been starting to feel very confused by why people seem to think it's all downhill from here! I think maybe I'm not exposed to this same content because on instagram I only follow outdoors influencers/hikers and cyclists, you can't be wearing makeup and such if you're making that sort of content.

[@meretc]

I am 21 and I am from Germany. I love listening to you and your perspective and your channel in general, it is so interesting to me.

[@CreamIceMs]

I remember seeing my crows feet for the first time in my 20's, and thinking "OMG, I'm aging" but also " How beautiful, people will be able to see me smile with my eyes even more"

[@thalmorbiznitch4028]

I've had chronic illnesses that make my body feel like it's way older than I actually am. That being said, when I turned 30 in December I was EXCITED. I actually LIKE who I am as a person now and I feel like I truly know who I am and what I want from life. And I feel like millennials have only gotten hotter as they get older. Like I love it. 20s were exhausting and stressful and at 30 I'm far less likely to care what others think of my life and my choice and I'm making the best choices for me and my kiddo. I love my life at 30, full honesty.

[@thalmorbiznitch4028]

Also I colored my hair ONCE since getting a good amount of silver hairs and they just don't stay covered. So I've stopped coloring. I just with my hair would fully go gray, lol. Like I'm excited for the silver tbh.

[@str0wb3rry9irl]

Amen. 20s is not the peek of youth. 30s is young too and so are 40s. I use to be a CNA. People are old when they are in a nursing home. Not now. It’s ridiculous.

[@VirgoLunaris]

I got my grey hair stripe at 24, it's only gotten more Rogue and fabulous over the years...37 now and I celebrate it and wouldn't trade it 🖤

[@Courtney6]

I just turned 40 last summer and fb started showing me about 5-8 ads per day about fertility treatments and it’s “not too late”. I already have 2 kids and definitely don’t want anymore so it’s really bizarre and offensive to see all these ads. No matter how many times I hide them I get more.

[@KittySnicker]

Agreed! I’m 31 and life is the best it’s ever been. And I’m really glad I’m not on Tik Tok so I’m not exposed to these vapid teeny boppers talking about anti aging products. But I was regardless obsessed with anti-aging when I was 24 and my OCD was really bad. That’s when I started using anti aging products.

[@valerija.lalikova]

Thank you for the video. I'm almost 27 and still studying at a university (master's degree), while most of my friends have already graduated from postgrad at age 23-25. I feel like this makes me VERY youth-obsessed as people of my age are already in a different phase of their life while I am stuck with younger people. Even though the age gap is small, I feel the societal pressure and expectations from people of my age, such as having a stable job. So yes, Instagram and KZbin influencers are not helping at all... I'm very happy I found your channel.

[@RK-yh5di]

Im 15 and downloaded social media made me scared of growing up but ive realized thats a gift to grow and learn.

[@s.s.8029]

I appreciate this video. I am heading to my mid-40's and my 40's have been much better than my 20'sand 30's, when I cared way too much about what other people thought of me. I recently completed my bachelor's degree in education and have way more confidence than I did in my younger years. I have embraced my graying hair (my mother quit coloring her hair in her early 40's when she became a grandmother and my 72 year old mil still tries to look younger by dying her hair unnatural looking colors). While I am not in the best physical shape of my life, I do plan on working on that in the very near future. I do surround myself with real people and influencers who help me to feel better about myself and encourage me to be who I am without having to fake it. I am mentally more stable and not nearly as anxious as I was when I was younger. I am proud of my recent accomplishments and can't wait to see where the future takes me.

[@emilyniedbala]

Highly recommend the show/movie “tick, tick… BOOM!” (especially the song “30/90”) which addresses this from an artist/career perspective It’s about Jonathan Larson (best known for writing Rent) in the days leading up to his 30th birthday and a reading of a show he’s been working on for years - the ticking clock throughout representing how he feels he’s running out of time to succeed as an artist (and the great tragic irony being that he did succeed young with Rent but didn’t live to see its success because he died before opening at 35 years old)

[@AbroadonaBudget]

I agree that constantly being surrounded by people 'joking' about being old, falling apart, being boring, etc. is in and of itself depressing. I don't feel that way at all, and think that it's an unhealthy mindset to take. A part of me thinks it's a way to let oneself off the hook- "Oh, I'm too old to make that career change" or "Oh, my body is falling apart, no sense trying a new activity/learning a new sport/taking up dancing like I always wanted" or "Well, it's too late for me to learn a language/write a book/travel to x,y,z". It sets the bar really low so you can tell yourself that some external factor (age) has made the decision for you. Then you don't have to take the risk or push yourself, or, most uncomfortably, confront how you might be sabotaging yourself.

[@kikitauer]

Omg congrats to 1 mil! 😊🎉 I've been here since 250k and I can say it is well deserved! 💖

[@natnat8393]

This calling myself old has never affected me for some reason. It's so sad to see these kids at 25 and even younger calling themselves old. I'm 31... the average person lives to 75... even more people are living to 104 so like... I'm a baby; a BABY BAB! I wish these kids could understand that too.

[@rachelwhitbeck2421]

I'm turning 30 today, and I am so excited for the decade to come! I joke that I am "old" because I like to go to bed at 9:30pm, but the physical issues I had began when I was 20 and aren't associated with age. I also feel very young and like I have my whole life ahead of me. But I mostly feel my age - I spend my 20s learning a lot about myself and the world, and I am now capable and able to tackle any of life's curveballs. So now I am young but also properly an adult, and I think my 30s will be my best decade yet!

[@leilahgharbaharan5298]

I am 34 this year too, and I cannot believe how young that actually is. My perception had to change from when I was in my 20's and thought 34 was old. But now that I am here, I see the error in my past thinking.

[@jessicaj8083]

I’m 27 I’m not even going n TikTok and I’m hyper aware about this anti-aging stuff. It’s hard in this society

[@TheSplendidChild]

I’m 24 and I’m feeling old. It’s more than just a little existential-quarter-life crisis. It’s feeling pushed out of the realm of “cool” and “in”. I find myself feeling too old to go to festivals and go to clubs. I don’t care to keep up with the latest trends and I’d like to develop a style but I don’t want to come across as dated. I’ve never been a frequent partier but l’d like to have some guilt free fun. I’ve been “noticing” lines in my face. I just feel like there’s not much for me to enjoy and my fun years are behind me.

[@hurricanechelsea]

I'm really sorry you're experiencing that. Some of this is hard to avoid, but if you can, try using this as an opportunity to seek out new spaces and new crowds. You can still have fun but with people who aren't so youth-obsessed, and you can find new parts of yourself. You're not old, you're just barely to an age where you get to have some autonomy in this world (to the extent that any of us can in a system that makes meeting basic needs so hard), but we should all be "too old" to listen to people who want us to feel like we're obsolete. I'm 33 and I was stuck for a long time and I'm trying to start over. I have to fight the idea that it's not worth it. The thing is, it's not too late until it's too late. I hope you find your fun again.

[@melissastarr9949]

Im 43, I go to clubs, festivals and raves with my friends . your not too old. 🌟Find things you like to wear and you wont worry about being " dated ", not to mention in 10 years stuff that came out before the pandemic will be " retro " and swing back into style with our now fast-tracked fashion cycles.

[@AbroadonaBudget]

I am sorry you feel this way- trust me when I say your feelings are real but the story behind your feelings is flawed and isn't serving you. At 29 I moved overseas, started a new career, and traveled all over the world having the time of my life. It was so much more fun than my teenage years and 20s. I just turned 40 and can't wait to see what my 40s are like as I am doing another career change and still living overseas. You're probably too plugged into online youth culture + need to make friends a bit older than you and/or consume content from people older than you if you are feeling this way because I promise you your fun years are not behind you. Mindset is truly everything- don't fall into the trap of beating yourself up until you feel awful!

[@AnnieSexton1]

Thank you Chelsea. As another 34 year old who has been guilty of talking about herself as already over the hill, this was a refreshing kick-in-the-pants.

[@PaulitaVegan]

1 million followers, baby. Congratulations 🎉❤

[@ssanderson91]

I'm 31 and I came off all my social media a couple of years ago. I recently downloaded TikTok to give it a try. I lasted about three weeks. There is a lot of light-hearted, funny content on there, but overall my self esteem (including my perception of my age, previously very healthy) took a noticeable nose dive and no funny dances or cool tips on how to do my hair were worth it to me.

[@ninisilver]

I'm 32 and I think exactly like you, dear Chelsea. I do still look young, and when I see people who are 26-29 already complaining about high-blood pressure and back pain I tell them that isn't supposed to be normal. I'm way healthier than I was in my twenties because I started to care about myself. One other thing I noticed, is how people of my age seem to hate the idea of aging and many of them do party drugs to have the energy to party still "feel" young. I think that's a bit absurd, if I don't feel like going out so much now at night, it's because my priorities are different, not because I'm old. I changed my inner discourse because I didn't want to use the word "old" or "boring", I just say politely I want to go for a walk on a Sunday morning. All I can think is now is how to be a glamorous old lady if the world isn't blown to pieces, I hope we can all achieve that!

[@OPAnaya]

Also 34 and not on tik tok but i love that your tik tok went viral. Important message! I completely agree-I feel young AF. But I am fearful of looking my age and your youtube videos are helping me get over that. Thank you!!!

[@shelleydenison]

My favorite thing about being in my 30's is that I'm old enough to have the wisdom to realize how young I still am.

[@frappalina]

I'm 42 and I'm not on social media because they made me feel depressed. I'm better off without them 😂 I feel so good about myself when I'm not constantly comparing myself to others

[@BluBerryPi]

Thank you for the video. I'm 27 and I participate in the "I'm so old my body is decrepit and falling apart" rhetoric but you're entirely right. I'm done with that today, thanks Chelsea!

[@choirgrrrl1257]

I've been bombarded with images of impossibly youthful, body beautiful models/actors in media for my entire 63 years. Yes, when I was in my teens and early 20s the message that I just didn't measure up to the beauty standards did cause some anxiety and consternation, but I felt like I had more to offer than beauty. The past 20 years have actually been fantastic for me. I've really focused on being fit and strong, and being healthy seems to have had a beneficial effect on my mental health. I don't dye my hair (and it looks fabulous!), have no desire for plastic surgery (I mean, if a fairy came to me and could get rid of my jowls with the wave of a magic wand I wouldn't say "no"), and at 5'3" and 110 lbs, I am in the best condition of my life. You've got to live for as long as you're alive, so don't despair and don't give up!

[@qosaghcalnan1045]

Health is wealth and most important . I am happy to hear you are thriving . if you wish to change something doing it in a holistic healthy way is obviously the natural choice . Haha ever heard of face yoga ??? They honesty work wonders face yoga by koko is really good ! I work out my body so why not my face is what I always thought . It most certainly improves wrinkles and jowls . Self care is self love . ❤

[@mart2037]

I am so excited for your talk coming up with PNC! it's so exciting - like two parts of my life meeting finally :)

[@Audiophile979]

As a 35f I really appreciate you speaking on this ❤🙏 tysm

[@Vonstrengel]

I was excited to turn 30 actually. I felt I didn't belong with 20 somethings (this due to extreme trauma and had to speed up in growing up mentally) But also when I talked to older people,I felt the same. I was "the young one" like I infiltrated their group. I'm turning 31 in a month and what I learned from this is is my age doesn't define the surroundings I choose.. when age wasn't a talking point (in a normal perspective) their were no bumps in the road with connecting to myself of others. Just fun conversations and beautiful insights

[@Andrea_k86]

I'm almost 40 years old, & I still feel like I'm in my twenties. Your only as old as you feel. We all age, but I'm not letting the number mess with my head.🦋

[@relaxingsleepstudyaudio7378]

I am 21 and I’m a photographer, wrinkles to me tell a story, how much you laugh and cried, all the emotions you’ve shown in a short life or a long life is apart of who you are why do you want to erase your story. Aging is beautiful, not everyone gets the privilege to age so enjoy every minute of life, every wrinkle that forms love it!

[@yassi8814]

Oh no. I am 28 & a 1/2 and I am not worried about wrinkles. They definitely should not be concerned 😟 this is heartbreaking and it could really impact the mental health of a young person

[@harmonybarry6182]

Chelsea has openly stated she will definitely have plastic surgery when she's older. I love love love this show, but I'm having a hard time with the contradictions here. Thank you for considering my comment.

[@kateg1570]

What’s it to you if she has plastic surgery? Is she paying for it with your money? Live and let live, huh..

[@thedolcetto81]

I was actually thinking the same. I'm curious to see how, sorry for the pun, the whole series will age.

[@danielsimmich1858]

Idk, its a lot to expect somebody to be entirely untouched by such a massive and insidious industry. We’re being force fed a narrow view of beauty and health every second of the day. I think the fact that Chelsea is openly critical of these sorts of things, and not hiding her potential interest in getting some procedures done, is great. You’re allowed to criticise a system while still being a part of it

[@harmonybarry6182]

@@danielsimmich1858 When you’re earning money constantly criticizing “the system” I think the bar is raised. I wonder how truly effective you can be in highlighting how bad it is, when you’re literally advocating maintaining the same bad system.

[@harmonybarry6182]

@@kateg1570 because her content in general is very critical of the societal pressures. TFD content is monetized. The biggest and best message-considering the content of TFD-is to refrain from plastic surgery. I am not comfortable that income earned making videos critical of an industry, might actually be used to fund procedures for the founder. That’s just crazytown. If I subscribe to TFD to help monetize the videos, am I helping to pay for it? Apart from capitalizing on the negative bias we all have, the show is fricking amazing. I dish out the tough love because I think it’s a great show.

[@papperogue]

Congrats on 1M!!!

[@violetsleigh3882]

Hi Chelsea! In a previous video about plastic surgery, you mentioned you plan on getting a face lift in the future. I understand that sometimes our personal body choices differ from our social values, but I’m wondering how doing this series has (or hasn’t) changed your plans. Since seeking out more age positive content, do you find yourself less interested in anti aging surgery?

[@Fluffcat65]

I had been wondering about that, too. No face lift for me - I want to see how I'll look being actually old (70 or older). I love to see older women with experience looking their age. That is so beautiful!

[@maudhuet7474]

Your tiktok video hit the nail on the head, I want to send it to all my friends !

[@KhinJohnson]

I'm 32, I watched a movie "This is 40" thinking that it is a feel-good movie about growing older. It is not - it was so depressing, I had to stop halfway. We really need more representation of older people who are living well. I truly think life gets better as we get older. As we get older, we will have more income, less debt and if we have kids, they'd be older and more independent, so we'll get back some of the free-time.

[@veramichaella714]

I quit social media a little over 2 years ago. Besr decision I ever made for myself. It was scary and weird at first, but after a while I didn't wven miss it. I get the news from actual news websites, and don't see every cup of coffee from people I don't care about. And most importantly I am the happuest I ever been with myself, including losing weight and keeping it like I could never do while on social media. Since now I lost it only for myself and not for my social image..😊

[@aubreejobizzarro1208]

Also a show that helped me feel a little better about aging is Grace and Frankie. Love those ladies ❤️ I hope I’m that cool when I’m older!!!

[@tennilledebysingh5819]

Wow, these stats are enlightening! We always felt this way, but thanks for sharing the data! So I began going grey around 31/32 and dyed my hair, I'm 45 now, stopped dyeing, chose to grow out my grays, and cut it into a pixie. I've gotten so many compliments (shockingly, imo), but I think this is so because this look is "in" which I did not realize, I was just simply wanting to accept my greys and honestly, my age! I WANT to look & my age, One girl asked me about this and she was shocked that I did not want to look younger. No, I'm not into anti-aging, I'm into accepting my age and looking the best I can at any age. That means taking care of myself in every way. I also do not use TikTok, barely use FB & only really use KZbin. I've always been pretty secure in who I am, so this anti- aging mentality of the younger generations doesn't really phase me.

[@alfamaize]

As we tell ourselves, getting old and worn down is better than the alternative. I'm 55 and am not in the shape I was at 45, but I'm still healthy enough to travel a lot in my early retirement. BTW, as a male, I don't understand some of the surgery people get- it's not as if you can't tell. And it looks non natural. Chelsea- thanks, again, for the reminder that not being on FB or TickTock is good for my sanity. Appreciate it.