How to ACTUALLY Find Love on the Apps | Featuring Our BOYFRIENDS

[@CG-lf8st]

At the moment Caroline asks "Justin is there anything that comes to mind that you were looking for or that would be a deal breaker", and Justin begins "ah, yeah I think that," and takes a pause to think, KZbin cut to an add where a mean immediately said "I just want milk that tastes like real milk" AND I CANT STOP LAUGHING

[@xxRIOxx]

An interesting thing I heard once was "people don't have types, they have patterns." Blew my mind lol

[@Not4EveryonePod]

YESSS. wow so well said

[@jeannecgt4379]

i love how Ryan's resting face is a smiling one, very sweet very ~ ~ force tranquille energy ~ ~

[@smontylove]

I love seeing more of Ryan! He's so likable. I'd be very interested in a Justin/Ryan spin-off podcast called "Two Sweet Boyz"

[@Not4EveryonePod]

i am smiling soooo hard reading the title of this fantasy podcast. yes to all

[@GlitterAndRage]

Love this idea so much!!

[@staceysugden]

Fun conversation with the infamous "boyfriends" we hear so much about! Thanks for the visit, Justin & Ryan, hope you'll pop in again soon.

[@mel818]

infamous? why?

[@staceysugden]

@@mel818 Because I did not know the definition of "infamous" until now... I did not mean that they have a bad reputation. Perhaps "mysterious" would have been a better word, my intention was to say that we have heard so much about them but know little directly from them - until now.

[@juliebraden]

Yeah, I was pretty sure u were being jokey, but it is a little misleading cause they so don't"t fit that script it seems

[@samanthalang2211]

Thank you for inviting me to this board meeting

[@naanpareil]

I never got many matches which was very disappointing since women get told they will be drowned in matches as soon as I sign up. But what you say about curating a profile to turn off the wrong people and find the right one is so true. My photos weren't very sexy and my prompts were a little polarizing but I gave off the message that I was serious and didn't want anything casual, which must have been a huge turnoff for a ton of guys. Thankfully I found a great one! And that's all it takes- just one!

[@Not4EveryonePod]

very relatable!! for what it's worth, i often had periods of getting no matches. And i agree that i dont think that's a bad thing! after all, you're not looking for 100 people you connect with. you're just looking for 1. and if you let 100 people in, it's going to take way more time to chat with, meet, and vet them all. but if you only let 4 in - the 4 who have checked off enough boxes - then you are actually dating much more effectively and efficiently!

[@kellyotterness]

@@Not4EveryonePodsuch a helpful reminder

[@RalucaDocan]

Justin is giving Mr. President

[@Not4EveryonePod]

big lol

[@jennb1587]

First thing I noticed was how much each couple looks alike/similar features and face shapes. Maybe I try to go on more dates with guys who have similar features as me and have better luck 😂 jkjk but i get so burnt out from it and seriously so cute how jess and Ryan have similar features but diff race obviously and Caroline and Justin look super similar too

[@brieoflyng4755]

My boyfriend and I joke that if we both got the same haircut it’d be too much of a “siblings or dating” situation 😂 can confirm dating your lookalike can work!

[@christina9238]

I was obersving this too. both couples resemble one another.

[@E-cw5pe]

Even their outfits! Caroline and Justin wearing button ups and Jess and Ryan in hoodies-I found that super cute

[@user00616]

Thank you Ryan and Justin!!!!! ❤

[@keishapearson7221]

Ryan's looks are hilarious. I'm definitely interested in hearing more of his opinions!

[@Not4EveryonePod]

such expressive eyes haha. he was a bit more shy coming on the pod, but i'm sure he'll be back again and getting even more comfortable! this guy is full of wisdom

[@ClassyMi]

right? he looks like he knows something....

[@kayingthao5072]

Clicked on this so fast! Been waiting to finally see Ryan. I felt like I already know him from listening to Jess talk about him😅 had to remind myself these people have no clue I exist.

[@sibymiller]

I'm one of the ones who met her husband on Tinder, that was in the middle of the pandemic in 2020, and next month we celebrate 3 years of marriage. We both had very normal pictures (recent, no filters whatsoever, nothing sexual), I wrote that I did not like sarcasm, that I do not have a car/don't know how to drive, and what my job was (in case they are looking for a woman who makes 6 figures, I'm not one of them...I was a waitress). Also, I do think that if you start going out with a few people at the same time, just dating, you get to filter the ones who really match with you, without getting too attached emotionally. Good episode!

[@shinebabyshine.]

Good advice

[@flaneliaso]

Perfect! Listening to this while getting ready for a tinder date :) Definitely want more episodes on this topic! This whole dating thing is super tricky

[@Not4EveryonePod]

good luck bb!!!

[@rosiedubs6315]

Dating app Montana edition- runs out of people to swipe on within 15 minutes of downloading an app then proceeds to reconnect with the guy who was boring & overly obsessed with his dog but has a job

[@smontylove]

I live in Oklahoma and I feeeel you

[@kellyotterness]

So real 😂 and those 15 minutes are spent swiping through a dizzying array of dead fish 🐠 🐟 🎣

[@PoissonDemiVide]

Omfg same in Missouri 😞 I think they’re feeding me fakes at this point

[@santisanti8386]

"The only way to be seen by those who are looking for you is to be completely and totally authentic in who you are and the way you show up." Kat Eleftheriou

[@teresaschultz9460]

Caroline, that Bombas commercial you made is one of funniest freakin ads I’ve seen anywhere! And I watch a lot of youtube. Bombas needs to buy a space for this ad during the Super Bowl, because it’s just that damn funny! Seriously, more people need to see this! I’m watching it any time I need a pick me up. Thanks for your super fun content. (And I’m a grandma in my 60’s)

[@lapooh]

Hell fkn yeah, the boyfriends!! So excited for this one 🤩 Just look at you guysssss

[@marcelladub]

Loved this one! Everyone had time to share and be authentic about their experiences. Also- Jess ur skin is glowing. Stunning.

[@mangokilla127]

thank you for sharing your research, NFE Scientists 🤓 we love peer reviewed work!

[@potsnpaninis]

0:34 sending Justin some love after this moment 😂

[@laurenssss]

This was SO funny 😂

[@KimchiKort]

I've been checking for this episode every day since I heard the teasers dropped about it! Not on dating apps, didn't meet my partner on one but I would listen to ya'lls (RYAN AND JUSTIN TOO) take on anything. Thanks yall! I appreciate all the effort it takes to put forth these honest conversations for all of us to sit in on.

[@KimchiKort]

congrats on 100 episodes baddy daddies

[@mandipkaur9380]

Fantastic advice! Just some constructive criticism if you're open to it: Caroline sometimes interrupts/talks over Jess when she's speaking...i understand it might be because you want to "yes, and" what she's saying or you want to express a thought that comes up before you forget it. You can always keep a scratch sheet of paper to write down inspired thoughts but would love to see a tad more space for Jess. If most others don't feel the same, then maybe just me in which case, disregard this comment!

[@vnt1996]

I’ve created a ritual where I walk and listen to y’all’s podcast wisdom and it’s become my favorite part of the day :) today I watched y’all in a KZbin video and I felt it was a elevated experience 😂 love you guys! ❤

[@SSLLatia]

great episode and I love that you said "i finish when there's something left to do" and then you finished the episode but it will continue later!!!! I see you!

[@Divya736]

I had to pause an make this comment - thank you so much for some of these sentiments like don't add professionally taken photos, and show your personality and be happy, don't just be sexy. My current bf, i found out much later into our relationship, had a strong preference for and said really nice things about women with professional photos on their profiles (like calling her future wife material), and he sent my photos to his friend and said they sucked. Meanwhile an infinite number of other men expressed all kinds of enthusiasm for my profile. Very reassuring to know from others that being real is better. Still working through this.

[@margiejstewart]

Meetup hiking groups are crazy like that. I’m married and sometimes I feel like ppl are like, why are you here? I just want to hike!

[@malemaline]

Love this and glad you both created great relationships. Curious about Jess's hair care routine? Love the shine!

[@melaniec.8054]

I loved this conversation with both female & male perspectives. I was soaking up all of the information & storing it away for when I'm ready to venture out & enter the dating app world. Learning through the wisdom of other's experiences is so helpful.

[@BellaOConnor-m3t]

This was so refreshing! I did admittedly meet my partner IRL while we were law students, but I genuinely had a great experience on the apps and met some very nice people! I think it can be a wonderful tool for connection despite the bad reputation

[@SSLLatia]

I never used a dating app, i met my husband irl when it was still a bit new to use an app. So I skipped that experience. But what you're talking about also relates to just human behaviour, how to communicate well when you actually don't know smo yet or you just met them

[@Fluff_and_stuff]

What a great episode! So honest and funny. Yes to a #2!! 😀

[@TheMissBeki]

Praying you can find a way to honour your Kook Students and Scientists in training, Down Under. Australia needs and deserves Kook University attendance apparel!! Love u guys much x

[@Not4EveryonePod]

we are working on it!!!

[@TheMissBeki]

@@Not4EveryonePod Thank you so much .. I know it's a pain in the butt.. I am sorry .. I just love you and I NEED to represent !! I am a patient woman .. I can wait :)

[@liza-marietorna4966]

Fellow Kook University alumni here: It was nice to see you all. I usually just listen to the podcast. It was nice to see the body language between all of you. Enjoyed the topic although I have never used dating apps.

[@michaelrussell7356]

This was a great listen! I related a lot to a lot of the points. I’ve been single 7 years now and dating apps are definitely hard to navigate. A point I’ve always wondered is what is the difference between wanting profiles of people you are attracted to and not basing choices on looks 🤔 I try to be open minded but maybe there’s a subconscious reaction to profiles that we can’t help….aside from all the red flags mentioned in the video 😂

[@kendracutler9132]

I was just here because I love you guys always but actually so far there is great advice from all four of you 👏 so glad you guys made it to 100 and I’m so excited the boys joined

[@ashleyjolicoeur]

Yes to the generic answers! I cannot stand when I profile and a green flag is "if you can cook" or quickest way to my heart "food" or something I want to do this year "travel". Not that those things can't be true, it's knowing that you chose a surface level answer and that makes me question how self-aware you are and how vulnerable you are willing to be.

[@youknowwhoitis4]

I'm so excited

[@meganwollam2325]

CLICKED SO FAST. Can’t wait to listen!

[@AbigailAnn]

This episode was seriously so fun

[@Christina0925]

Ugh, I never found someone on the apps unfortunately - I met my significant other on a plane - talk about a meet cute. The problem with this is that everyone always wants to hear a story of how we met whereas if I just met my significant other online, people wouldn’t ask

[@Not4EveryonePod]

that is adorably old-school!

[@aksez2u]

Interesting take on the "marathon date". I always thought that was a good thing - you're really clicking and getting along, you don't want the evening to end. Food for thought. Always leave them wanting more ;-)

[@coolcalm1111]

Loved this! I will be waiting for a part 2 😊❤

[@foodnwords]

This was a delight. No notes.

[@10cereza]

ordered a sweatshirt before I saw the discount code...I guess one of my chickens won't be getting a sweater this X-mas

[@tiffytattoo2450]

This is the only Hallmark movie I watch this season 🌲

[@plazi_m]

The new merch looks so good!!

[@eydiefalkenhagen4434]

For more info about unmet childhood needs and hoping to "get it right this time", see Hartville Hendrix&Helen LaKelly Hunt's work, 'Getting the Love You Want' and their Imago certified relationship therapists. Caroline, your relationship therapist must have been such. The pair of you are so fortunate. The future is bright.

[@volladolll]

Ahhh I didn’t go to college, was looking for a comfy crewneck to live in this winter, now I can proudly say and wear I attended Kook University.

[@Not4EveryonePod]

ohhh please you went to college! there is no higher education than this

[@volladolll]

@@Not4EveryonePodI’m feeling super above my triple majoring sister now

[@juliebraden]

15:53 The guys had good points. Ryan: even if u r a miserable, moody artist in every pic, if that represents, then ok i know who u r. Justin: do u really want yor 1st encounter w/ someone to strt off being a disappointment?

[@butterscotchwm]

I was listening to the podcast and watching Caroline's videos while online dating, and I think some of the advice was really useful, mostly the advice about filtering and managing expectations (not looking for a "spark" on a first date for example). Luckily, it didn't take me long to find my current boyfriend of 6 months, and I'd like to credit the advice from this podcast for helping ^_^

[@emmayem]

i been waiting for this one 😩 turn it up ‼️🗣

[@sanne5412]

OMG you Guys Upped the Ante!! 🎉🎉🎉 Hell Yess

[@donnajames6067]

Loved it! Thank you all ❤ excited for part 2🎉

[@jbhindabo]

This is a lesson in facial expressions 🤔🤨☺ Also, I need the Kook U sweatshirt now.

[@juliebraden]

Omg I want to hear Justin's view of the sparks on 1st date?!?

[@yuiwilliams5125]

Omg!!! I haven’t started listening yet but am so excited for this episode! Thank you to your partners, Ryan and Justin, for joining their podcast together!! And Happy 100th episode to this amazing podcast 🥰🫶 EDIT: Just finished watching and I can't wait for the part 2! I ordered my first ever merch from KZbinr/content creators and I am so excited to receive it! My husband and I met on the dating app too :) I was trying to go on dates with the people who weren't really my type in the terms of looks. My goal was to meet new and different people rather than trying to find a boyfriend or a partner and hear about their work/life styles/hobbies (At the time, I just graduated from college with a performing art degree so my circle/community was very limited/small I'd say and everything felt "networking" in my community). Just to be clear, I wasn't on the app for hookups even though the lack of my English skills had led a guy to think I was there for a hookup since I kept saying "I am looking for casual dating." lol The guy was respectful and we parted once he realized what my definition of casual dating was and I stopped using this term haha When I saw my husband's profile, I thought he was really cute but was ready to swipe him left because again I wasn't trying to go on a date with someone who I thought was really cute and hot. I still scrolled his other photos and the last pic he had was the photo of his face edited to Mona Lisa. I know it's weird, but I still remember having a butterfly feeling when I saw it lol So I decided to swipe him right and I'm so glad I did. I also was very naive to a dating app, and used my acting headshot in my profile among with other non headshot photos, and my husband thought I was fake and his friend was trolling him until we had our first date. We met in 2016 and are happily married for 6 years! Thank you Jess and Caroline for all the hard work to bring this amazing podcast to us! Special thanks to Ryan and Justin for doing the 100th episode with the ladies!! P.S. I wanted to send this long message/comment to you on Instagram, but it seems like I can't send a DM to you 😬I feel a little weird for leaving this because who wants to read/hear it, but I feel like I can be safe here. So here it is my monologue lol

[@crg2452]

I found the point at which Caroline mentioned that her therapist doesn't take on clients, in her view seemingly unwilling to make their own appointments as a little.. bizarre? All you can really tell about someone's significant other making an appointment on their behalf, is that- someone's significant other is making an appointment on their behalf.. The rest is just the pure, unadulterated machinations of the mind, spinning narratives and inferences seemingly out of nothing. We're all liable to project, but that just strikes me as arrogance, not insight! Odd, but a pertinent metaphor with respect to this topic, that's for sure!

[@NeS-mt4cd]

My former therapist once mentioned to me that she has that same rule. She explained that it’s very hard to help someone that didn’t ask for help themself and that people who really want help/want to work on themselves will eventually contact a therapist. It made sense to me

[@noramuffincake]

I knewwww 100 would be a bf episode! Love this ❤️❤️

[@lynnwhalen1497]

Excellent Lovers & Haters!!! Congrats on 100!!! Wheeeee. Thanks for the merch PSA, got my rad tote!!! xoxoxo 👏❤

[@keirra6327]

Great episode! 👏🏻😁

[@eightthirtyeight]

Great episode! Nice job boys

[@joymurphy8944]

I listened to this episode on Spotify earlier today, then got home and found my first-ever Frasier Fir candle in my mailbox. Switched on the KZbin to see your cute faces while I wait for the scrumptious scent to waft through my room. It's so nice to put faces to the two other main characters in this kooky family! 💜

[@daniellelearnsstuff]

Bahah love how this starts out like a hostage video hahha. Love you guys

[@MsEnglishmania]

58:32 "nie dla każdego" well done 👏

[@thehikingcouple]

Ya'll are adorable. It was like a double date and I was the fifth wheel! 😂💜🧡

[@Missmissie5683]

such a good episode i can't wait for part 2 !!!!

[@polinazuzichkina]

yaaay thank you for another amazing video!!! i also met my boyfriend on a dating app and we're very happy together!🥰

[@santisanti8386]

Everybody loves Ryan.

[@taliaaalia5175]

Why are Ryan and Justin not on more? They're naturals! Great dynamic.

[@kendracutler9132]

Iconic pop culture moment!!

[@LadyLynn2123]

Love this need more of this ❤❤

[@brightgreenleaves]

What if I don’t have a lot of friends?! I’m living in a new area and working though health stuff but still want to meet someone 😢

[@ALCHEMICORACLE.universe]

"emotionally ... or street racing" lol

[@Tach905]

So excitedddd

[@hellodaxushi]

Jess and Ryan drinking New Glarus beer - dare I say Two Women?!? My Wisconsin bones are shaking

[@debrakintzing8914]

Love your podcasts, just too many ads.

[@edenopie3511]

Justin’s voice is so deep and soothing 😍

[@jillthereckless]

Felt like these were my people, until I learned I was one of the untouchables that they would never date. I appreciate Ryan‘s candor (he seems genuinely sweet and thoughtful) that he would never date a person who is too white. The glee in which Caroline and Jess piled on was shocking. To add insult to injury, they insinuated I or my family are the racist ones, when they are the ones making blanket judgments based on nothing more than skin color.

[@juliebraden]

1:31:18 I see y Ryan or any guy, or girl for that matter, wud see Jess saying no to continuing the date w/ getting a burger as rejection or She's not into me. When Jess said she cud see she will get a burger w/ this guy sometime in their future, I took it as her saying she did not want this date to be like so many others she went on. Jess said she had done that so many times, so I saw it as not wanting to leave Ryan wanting more but to do things differently w/ Ryan b/c she thought of him as special. I actually wndr if Ryan wud hav appreciated in that moment hearing exactly wat Jess said here, or if it was bttr for her to keep that to herself? If Jess had come out w/ the truth, " I do see us getting a burger in the future. I hav done it so many times on a 1st date w/ peops I want this to be different," if that wud hav been tmi @ that point? The only thing I am considering is, u don't want your date going home w/ the wrong feeling/mssg. U don't want him to feel defeated or discouraged if your answer was no but not b)c u r shutting him dwn. And I mean how else is someone supposed to read that on a 1st date? Not wanting to continue the date if one of u does want to, seems like u guys wud be out of sync already?

[@dogmama4444]

Mom and Dad x2!!!!!

[@scentsandgems]

Sweet couples❤❤

[@juliebraden]

the boyfriends r both cute!!

[@karla284]

Justin reminds me of Elon Musk for some reason, in the best wayy

[@TheAPLoftus]

I'm really surprised you have been recording the podcast for as long as you have and haven't addressed Caroline's audio quality. Her audio frequently maxes levels and it really discourages me from listening. I took a break for a few months and wanted to come back, but the episode is unlistenable with the levels at such different places between the four speakers.

[@malemaline]

What about who pays for dates and the whole money thing?

[@ALCHEMICORACLE.universe]

there's no universal answer ~ check in about your own values (around reciprocity / etc) + communicate w your dates directly about any expectations (ex: let's split the first date !) / ask their preference + take the pressure off :) there isn't a correct answer for all people or situations, just opportunities to check in with yourself + people you meet about re your values

[@Sisterlisk]

Despite being raised in a conservative Christian organization/church, I feel no shame about using dating apps. If you're respecting yourself and others on there, that's all that matters.

[@Keepitcurious1685]

❤❤❤

[@juliebraden]

Wow, i nvr guessed, wen Caroline said date outside her type, that her type wud gav been needy, depressed, unmotivated, puroseless, addict dude.?

[@AbigailAnn]

da boiz yayyy

[@user-jo7xn5hf6b]

Thank you for acknowleding your queer audience

[@kinghanabi17]

STREET RACING 🚩🚩🚩

[@Not4EveryonePod]

i was confused too

[@nourtohme4998]

If you close ur eyes, justin really sounds like elon musk!!

[@lizl.9707]

Just curious what is Jess drinking?🍻

[@juliebraden]

Jess keeps swiping her hand in front of Ryan's face. Maybe it looks worse from this view but ughh is it bugging Ryan?

[@tatjanawasp5775]

Wanted to listen to this, but after hearing the word like every third word, I can't. If your job is to speak, practice it without so many verbal pauses. This is how teenage girls speak

[@146Entertainment]

17:53 🙊

[@RBMfrombrooklyn]

God, could these people be any more ... likable? Def in a not for everybody way, of course. Over the duration of one really miserable illness, these women have turned me into a KZbin nerd who actively seeks out their "content" (loathe that word because I work in media).

[@ValerieMurph06]

Ugh it’s so hard to comment on a podcast because I just want to yap for hours w y’all LOL. I don’t know how best to convey my feelings about this episode, but the realness between couples is sooo cool to see. I loved that the guys came on to support their partners and share their experiences even though they might’ve been nervous or inexperienced in podcasting (coming from a shy gal🥹). There was no curation here, it really just felt like I was just listening to my friends chat about their relationships. Such safe & cozy vibes!!!

[@margiejstewart]

Meetup hiking groups are crazy like that. I’m married and sometimes I feel like ppl are like, why are you here? I just want to hike!