ShaelinWrites I know, your poor nose! I feel for ya girl, my face is lobster red from the beach.
@kathalaluna6 жыл бұрын
show, don't tell. lol. btw I love you're confidence ♥
@anyad61316 жыл бұрын
Thank you,maybe my character shouldn't cry for three pages long...
@InfidelProductionz6 жыл бұрын
I thought only Chloe Price says Hella.
@KlaverKatten6 жыл бұрын
I felt bad for your nose the whole way through XD
@soldiaz72615 жыл бұрын
5:32 “The sun smiled down at him. That shiny bastard.”
@TheSpiderjaws4 жыл бұрын
This deserves more attention.
@alexandrias.10146 жыл бұрын
Alt Title: How to Not Accidentally Write a Soap Opera Script. 😂😂
@ShaelinWrites6 жыл бұрын
TRUE
@ClintLoweTube6 жыл бұрын
Alex S. Good one! You should do a vid with that title.
@3dstuff6542 жыл бұрын
"BUT SHE WAS HER SECRET INCEST LOVE CHILD TWIN SISTER ALL ALONG!!!"- the plot of about 7 TV shows
@madisonvava83426 жыл бұрын
“[Guy’s Name] I Lo V. E yOu!!” “No, I’m too D a nger ou s for youuuu!!” “Noo but I LWOVE WOOO!!” “I don’t want to see you get H Urt!” “Nooo! I’ll follow uoy!!” Scene.
@anyad61316 жыл бұрын
I have a scene like this except the girl throws herself onto the floor and cries for days
@wiktoriakohman22005 жыл бұрын
@@anyad6131 wut
@sami69985 жыл бұрын
End of 10 book long series
@sami69985 жыл бұрын
You forgot the down to earth side love interest
@jacoba67474 жыл бұрын
What is this Arrow?
@ClintLoweTube6 жыл бұрын
Show vs Tell Balance: Tell protagonist is nervous about opening the door to meet the boss. Show protagonist is nervous when talking to the boss. If it's important: show. If it's minor: tell.🆑
@everydaysam35476 жыл бұрын
You’re my writing teacher ❤️
@yas31706 жыл бұрын
"And this locket represents my mommy issues, because it holds the secrets of my family that I don't understand... I don't know i'm just making stuff up"
@lauren-skyeperry47363 жыл бұрын
I came across this comment JUST as she started saying it in the video
@Vickynger6 жыл бұрын
my heart sings with how much agrees with all you said. Is that melodramatic?
@dorkle90854 жыл бұрын
Maybe lol :)
@greentokyo6 жыл бұрын
I love this video...IN MY SOUL!!
@EC-rd9ys6 жыл бұрын
“Emotional texture.” That’s the phrase I’ve been looking for to explain the “show, don’t tell” rule. Nice.
@clickers80496 жыл бұрын
... can I forward this video to fanfic writers? (No shade to fanfic writers-I think it’s a great way for people to explore writing. But their stories often become very melodramatic)
@kaceynm6 жыл бұрын
Nerds Are We haha tru
@yas31706 жыл бұрын
Much like YA, Fanfiction is targeted towards teenagers, my 15 year old self would LOVE all that melodrama. The angst, the filthy smut and lots of romance. Teens have intense emotions, more prone to depression, recklessness, high sexual urges... I think you get the idea
@nairalleo41006 жыл бұрын
i write fanfics and i agree
@ross80936 жыл бұрын
Lee Jazz your 100% write. But literally I've gone back to give I remember liking and I've just been shocked at how unreadable they've become to me.
@suddenlystanning83075 жыл бұрын
I read a lot that I don’t think are emotional *enough*. Like this person has been tortured (like with fire and shit) by their mom and were isolated by everybody. They end up getting adopted by this group of friends and like they kinda just go with it?? Like at least once I wanted them to break down when they were given a hug (which was probably the first hug they ever experienced). Or when someone said they’d always be there for them. That would’ve been a pivotal moment both for the main character and the other characters who don’t really know what they’ve been through. Sorry I just had to go off bc I didn’t think it was very believable but I’m a very emotional person so idk
@UltimateKyuubiFox6 жыл бұрын
For the sobbing character who found out her sister had died, the easiest thing isn’t to change what they do, but to detach the description. “She found herself limp on the sand. Her throat was burning. She couldn’t see anything. The tides kept wading.”
@anyad61316 жыл бұрын
Or you could say something like, she threw herself head first into the sand and cried into the sand for 9 hours then she got up and went home
@henryanderson67524 жыл бұрын
AnyaDicki6969 lol As we all do.
@idkdude11184 жыл бұрын
@@henryanderson6752 a casual Saturday if you ask me
@elchiponr1Ай бұрын
That's the most melodratic thing I've ever read 😂
@User-fz2tw28 күн бұрын
that is so melodramatic...
@marichka-mulligan6 жыл бұрын
The problem of dreams in fiction is that often too logical and too chronologically consistent, while in reality you can't even remember the most of your dreams and add logic and overarching connections only when you retelling the dream to someone else. And the dream symbolism? I don't know about you but more often than not people don't use any real systems for dream symbolism and instead just write very straight-forward and obvious things. Like, I've studied a bit of folklore dream interpretation and it's just... insane sometimes? I remember one woman who retold this long elaborate dream about three moons distracting her from gardening and at the end interpreted that as a prophetic dream about three men who attempted to marry her and only the last one was successful.
@yas31706 жыл бұрын
Марічка Панф could never relate to dream logic lol, my dreams are lengthy and include story elements suited for novels. They're pretty dope.
@kal-muzel8756 жыл бұрын
Lee Jazz mine too! They could be movies and I would watch them they have many twists you can't see beforehand
@marichka-mulligan6 жыл бұрын
I also have some of these sometimes, but more often than not my dreams are connected by overarching feeling or leitmotifs. All in all, it's not that dreams are stripped of logic, it's just that logic doesn't necessary reflect the real world. Like, once I dreamt I was about to be executed Ned Stark fashion, when suddenly everyone and everything around me dissolved into colourful horses and flew away into the horizon, leaving me where I stood. Like, it happened, it had its consequences and it had kind of a reason - I didn't (and I don't) want to be executed. But was this the most logical and rational thing that could have happened? And my dreams aren't always linear - events might be rewound, perspectives change, sometimes to the point of confusion. But, well, can't speak for everyone.
@ItsJustAdrean6 жыл бұрын
I had a dream the other day that my school was attacked by Japanese hornets, I got in a verbal confrontation with an atheist whose husband said I was stupid even though I was just trying to be nice and say hi, and then I rode home on a dog that was also a horse and a camel. But usually my dreams are very complex, story oriented, with very heavy and obvious personal symbolism. That last one coincidentally happened after I'd been up for 30 hours and had some allergy medicine LOL.
@NipahAllDay5 жыл бұрын
Eh, I have a few dreams I can still remember even when I was a kid.
@blockomaniac5 жыл бұрын
whenver i think of melodrama i think of that ember island play from Avatar:TLA
@sakareeh4 жыл бұрын
I’m a year late but I love this comment hahaha
@dillydally98695 жыл бұрын
I beta read and your point about souls is SPOT ON. I see it a lot and very recently saw it in some writing that (I'm laughing while writing this comment) went from "you'll always be my best friend" to a Victorian era love confession "my soul cries out for yours when you're not here, my darling..." Souls were mentioned THREE times in just two paragraphs.
@yurilookingforhisvictor76743 жыл бұрын
Ewe, I just threw up.
@christinemako7714 Жыл бұрын
Oh, that's pretty cringy
@sharainahmed3333 Жыл бұрын
Hey I really needed someone who can beta read my fanfic. It's a TXT fanfic..if it's okay with you. Please let me know. I'll also be working on a romantic fantasy story soon but for now I am practicing my writing skills with this fanfic.
@gregahunt10 ай бұрын
dark souls 3
@kaceynm6 жыл бұрын
Hey, this may be a stupid question but could you talk about pacing?
@ShaelinWrites6 жыл бұрын
Definitely! Pacing is tricky, it's not a stupid question at all!
@ClintLoweTube6 жыл бұрын
Kacey Marioghae Ebb and flo. That's a good basic.
@xisalways-ls8lt5 жыл бұрын
My average pace is three miles per hour.
@dealchemist7206 жыл бұрын
"Melodrama was my shit" LOL
@ShaelinWrites6 жыл бұрын
the first step is realizing you have a problem and ohhhh boyyy I had one
@marichka-mulligan6 жыл бұрын
Oh, I have a friend who needs this video just about now.
@lormill48516 жыл бұрын
SHE DOESN'T HAVE ENOUGH FINGERS!!! WHY?!! WHY, LORD, WHY?!! (soul perishes in anguish)
@anyad61316 жыл бұрын
Me writing a lighthearted children's book
@dorkle90854 жыл бұрын
Wat
@s-h7015 Жыл бұрын
The hard part about writing teenagers (and even emotionally stunted adults) is that they are melodramatic, but you don’t want to make it TOO melodramatic.
@croc21127 ай бұрын
Why
@croc21127 ай бұрын
You don't want them to show raw emotions
@howanuwrites98746 жыл бұрын
*First!* Love the Fact you are back to giving tips for other writers *:)*
@nahanabubucker67756 жыл бұрын
I love that animation thing that u have of yourself at the end, it’s so cute!
@ShaelinWrites6 жыл бұрын
My best friend made it for me!
@Lisa_Flowers6 жыл бұрын
*sees title* ho boi just @ me Shaelin, just @ me (even if you don't really know who I am lol). Also thank you for the advice, you just saved me about five years and a lot of self-loathing lol. Melodrama is what makes it so hard for me to read my first drafts because yikes. Also, the balance between subtlelty and being heavy handed is really hard for me. I tend to try really hard to be subtle but clear but it always becomes really obscure and it's so frustrating. I think I do overcompensate for being heavyhanded.
@lukasnovella90016 жыл бұрын
Mentioning Souls. The only time I’ve used souls in reference to an emotion was it felt like my soul was splitting apart, as their soul (it was an actual magical entity) was LITERALLY being ripped from their body
@skilletlord38006 жыл бұрын
I TOTALLY DID THIS. I had one of my characters break up with the other, and looking back on it is almost like reading fanfic.
@jakerockznoodles6 жыл бұрын
I don't mind dreams if there is something tangible to them. I'd argue that films like Inception and The Matrix kind of succeed in that because there are consequences to what happens in these dreamworld, giving the story a sense of stakes.
@ShaelinWrites6 жыл бұрын
Those are perfect examples of stories that make dreams an actual part of the story and its systems, rather than just a vague ~~symbol
@katara20214 жыл бұрын
Agree with everything but the dream point. Dreams done badly can be melodramatic but they can reveal the subconscious. When I was having difficulty with a subject in school I would have dreams about missing the exam, or splashing water over the paper or misremembering everything. Or me hanging from a weirdly tilted roof by my fingers while my family is having fun just a few steps away and then my mom crushes my hand and I fall. I'm afraid of lizards, I've had dreams of going into a room and then looking upto a ceiling filled with lizards. So melodramatic isn't it but its true. Dreams have bigger impacts on some people. My mom has night terrors. I had a nightmare when I was 9 that is the reason I'm afraid of mirrors in a room I sleep in.
@godsoloved246 жыл бұрын
That abusing Murphy's law point is kind of how I feel about writing that overuses the "yes-but, no-and" plot tool.
@jmkand6 жыл бұрын
You give really good advice and I've learnt so much from you, but could you maybe prepare some more specific/concrete examples of the points you're listing? Sometimes the advice itself is a little hard to understand without an excerpt from a book or smth to back it up. Other than that, thank youuuu
@danicepabillon68873 жыл бұрын
I agree. There should be example
@boldandbrash19906 жыл бұрын
Every time I get a notification for your videos, I get so excited! This one did not disappoint! ❤
@neuroticnovelist6 жыл бұрын
You’re spoiling us😭😭💕💕
@janinebohl74886 жыл бұрын
I feel so caught O.O Probably almost everything I write is melodramatic. But it is getting better, I think. I somewhat realised it myself. I just love making up those metaphors that describe extreme pain. For the sake of it being readable, I'd have to reduce it a lot. Edit: In my current project it is a lot better than in my old ones. There is hope!
@paulapoetry6 жыл бұрын
Great subject. I agree with your point that melodrama is often something to be focused upon during revisions. My characters cry too much, lose it too much, and smash things up in temper. Maybe I feel like doing those things myself and hold back, so my characters go OTT. Who knows, right? I honestly can't remember ever knocking down and smashing up everything in my own home, out of anger or sadness. My characters do that. I think book, and more so TV, characters are prone to it. I guess it's an obvious way to show that a character is distressed. Very obvious...! 😀💝
@kayeherl91954 жыл бұрын
Would A Series of Unfortunate Events count as abusing Murphy's law 😂😂
@billyalarie9293 жыл бұрын
A Series of Unfortunate Events would count as absolute genius
@dakifillet6 жыл бұрын
don't avoid melodrama. buy it on itunes now! 😘
@thewordsmith17635 жыл бұрын
LORDE IS QUEEN
@claramd22505 жыл бұрын
YES YES YES
@cheesecakelasagna5 жыл бұрын
Lmao I knew there'll be a comment like this here
@drawingfandome2 жыл бұрын
Omg thanks for the subtex tip! I low key could not figure out why some of my scenes hit and others fell flat. Bc in the good scenes I showed what was happening without saying it giving subtext but in the bad ones the narrator simply described what was happening and how they felt without subtext
@jackieoram4096 жыл бұрын
Your videos have improved in quality so much in the last few months. Bravo!
@ShaelinWrites6 жыл бұрын
Thank you! I got a job making youtube videos for Reedy and so they bought me some new camera gear and ain't dat quality niceeee
@jackieoram4096 жыл бұрын
ShaelinWrites 👏👏Yaaaass
@1ifuckingloveyou6 жыл бұрын
This is one of the best writing videos I have ever seen. I love how specific you get with your advice
@cjpreach6 жыл бұрын
SHAELIN, YOU SAID, "Save it for editing." GREAT thought! I am going to lead a NaNoWriMo group beginning in September, and we are going to emphasize sequencing the writing work. "No Backspacing" and "Save it for editing" will be two of my main themes. September - Creative brainstorming and story elements. October - Outlining. November - "Write, Write Baby! Sweat, Sweat!" December+ - Edit. Rewrite. Edit. Rewrite. ad infinitum Another helpful video. Thanketh Ye.
@Anna-zr9pz6 жыл бұрын
I love your videos! They never fail to motivate me to get cracking on my projects. I can't wait for your writing update 😁 Do you think you could do a video on how to build a world/society/government in a sci-fi/fantasy novel?
@kirakiraclover70506 жыл бұрын
Hi, Shaelin! I just wanted to come on here and say that I've been subscribed to you on my personal (private) channel for a long time, and your videos have really helped me with bettering my writing and with the confidence I have in my writing abilities. I still struggle with it from time to time, but watching how much your channel has grown and knowing that you're planning on creating your own short story collection just makes me so happy! I hope you can keep encouraging others to write, and please, please, make an announcement video for when you decide to publish your book!
@ClintLoweTube6 жыл бұрын
KiraKira Clover Confidence is over rated. Do the work and you will be fine.
@ginge6416 жыл бұрын
What about a system where the soul is made out of concrete? Excuse me, I'm off to write that shit.
@ShaelinWrites6 жыл бұрын
BRILLIANT
@ginge6412 жыл бұрын
Well shit, I forgot I'd ever written this.
@DrTomb3 жыл бұрын
Time to make the most melodramatic piece of art anyone’s ever seen
@Rednodge_93 жыл бұрын
looking forward to it.
@PhoebeWritesFiction6 жыл бұрын
Great advice - I love that you always pinpoint such specific techniques :)
@shaghayegh57114 жыл бұрын
I love u, i always felt all of these flaws in my writings but wasnt consciously aware of them, they just bothered me. Hope i can write better from now on, love u❤
@Eldorado12392 жыл бұрын
There was anger in her soul. Even her dreams were full of anger. During day, all she could think of was her anger. She punched the wall, breaking two fingers and dislocating her shoulder. "I'm so angry!", she yelled as the volcano poured lava into the streets and a meteor hit Earth. Keep reading, there's a lot of suspense right now!
@EarthenDemon1264 жыл бұрын
I disagree about the 'knowing your genre' part. I feel like restricting a piece of writing to a particular genre puts borders around your thinking and limits what can happen in your book. If anything, I think the genre label shall be applied after the book has been written, and not during.
@garbledsand-which23213 жыл бұрын
This.
@shawnahern23412 жыл бұрын
Like a d&d character alignment
@Henbot2 жыл бұрын
That would be nice but a lot of Publishers dont do that and aim on genre first
@leech13556 жыл бұрын
Aw that was very cute outro music. Thanks for another great video Shae! Still very excited that you're back.
@kristiemao42756 жыл бұрын
I enjoy your writing videos so much. You're my favorite KZbin Booktuber. I've learned a lot watching them. I was actually worried about this topic in my writing this week.
@ashtongaskill39806 жыл бұрын
Glad to have your videos back!
@leahgodson23194 жыл бұрын
Wow; you just explained why some films make me feel like not watching! This will help me in my writing. Thank you Shaelin.
@93maija6 жыл бұрын
One type of dreams I feel like can make sense in fictional stories, is the type of recurring dreams that everyone experience from time to time. Like when a character is going to do something important the following day. Doing a speach in front of lots of people, or getting up early to travel somewhere, and things like that, it would be completely logical for them to have dreams about oversleeping, miss the flight, forgetting their lines, etc. That's totally normal and totally relatable. If the dreams aren't described in full detail, I think it would be fine to just mention the general topic of it, and how they leave the character feeling super stressed and nervous.
@glittergem57706 жыл бұрын
The videos where you give writing advice are the best!
@rachsmith34792 жыл бұрын
I love your voice. ❤️
@deffdefying48035 жыл бұрын
Regarding subtext: I heard somewhere that you should make one sentence have the power of two.
@Happy_Birthday_Videos2 жыл бұрын
Excellent points and delivery :)
@bigeric23blog5 жыл бұрын
Your enthusiasm and passion really come across in this video-making you even more attractive. Outstanding work. ⭐️
@bowtiesarecool1011 Жыл бұрын
thank u thank u!!! I'm writing a contemporary fiction romance/drame/murder mystery and am outlining/rough writing the scenes where my adult protagonist has to kill her father (who is the murderer) when he tries to kill her when he finds out she knows he did it. It is very emotional, but I don't want it to come off as melodramatic and it's all in the writing. These tips are super helpful as always
@rawaneljack65753 жыл бұрын
My MC is melodramatic intentionally, but this helped me with the narrative and the rest of the characters ❤️
@safiurrehman32553 жыл бұрын
This is the energy I want in every video 💯
@thinginground51792 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the wisdom, rudolph.
@rubyelfcup96854 жыл бұрын
Just wonderful. Thank you, Shaelin.
@victoriablackwell13394 жыл бұрын
This video is extremely helpful to me. I almost recognized some of these things myself, but after watching this video, it was more obvious. I am currently working on my first book, so I need this information. Thank you so much! I would recommend this video to all new writers.😁
@sirdelrio3 жыл бұрын
Cliche lines feel melodramatic because, since they've been so over-used, whatever image/emotion they try to convey, it feels cheap and unearned, aka melodramatic.
@Thagomizer5 жыл бұрын
I had a mentor in grad school who occasionally wrote "too dramatic" in the margins.
@AnnaStock556 жыл бұрын
I've missed your videos and your amazing advice! Thank you!
@Alice829164 жыл бұрын
Your advice helps me so much! Thank you❤️
@aishwaryasrivastava61815 жыл бұрын
I am on a ShaelinWrites Marathon today 😂
@jge81446 жыл бұрын
16:11 cute picture! The music goes with it.
@KreativeHogwartsLegacyGUIDES6 жыл бұрын
I REALLY needed this video. I would say like if you agree, but yeah pretty much advice that we all need, and literally no one besides this video ever addresses it
@shannonmurphy756 жыл бұрын
That was actually advice from Stephen King: On the technique of writing, he said two things: "Keep your paragraphs short and end chapters on a cliffhanger". Think I'll take his advice, considering he's the best selling author in the history of the world.
@James.Stark.Ben.Edition5 жыл бұрын
What if you want to write a soap opera on purpose?
@starjones14 жыл бұрын
James Stark: Ben Edition then add as much melodrama as you possibly can
@yuuri90646 жыл бұрын
Your videos are always so informative and entertaining! Great job! (P.S. I like the end music!)
@tennisboy13146 жыл бұрын
This was really helpful. Thanks, Shaelin.
@lisarenfrow26765 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your videos, they are helping me become a better writer.
@fishschtick89856 жыл бұрын
Very helpful! Glad you made this!
@StellaDonna883 жыл бұрын
lol I love this. Tbh, I'm a sucker for a dream sequence done well. Some of my favorite stories feature (or are about) dreams.
@Mana_Ski Жыл бұрын
I feel like I'm breaking all of these 🤣 (they do actually make sense in the context of my WIP)
@justluc85566 жыл бұрын
This is just what I need aha. I'm not a new writer but when I get excited about something in the story I find myself writing melodramatic 😂 Thanks for the great tips!
@shaibaliqbal3 жыл бұрын
Melodrama is the opposite of a mellow drama, period :)
@OktoberFilms5 жыл бұрын
Haha! Love a good rant and this was up there. Now... I agree. You probably wouldn’t start crying if your sister died. You’d start of being numb and void of emotions. Empty. Crying comes later, once you understand that she’s actually dead. You wouldn’t grasp that right away. Your sister isn’t supposed to die and your mind will protect you from the impact for a while. As for dreams. Ouch. My first novel was built around dreams, but then they were real. It’s just that the protagonist didn’t know until his life had fallen apart. Putting dreams into a Nordic Noir (someone called that novel that and I found it cool enough to repeat it whenever anyone asks... and even when they don’t) is kind of fun. No melodrama because everyone is cold inside, but trying to deal with being cold inside. Anyways, loved the video.
@starjones14 жыл бұрын
“Over the Top Reactions” What if the whole point of the story is the main character dealing with mental disorders that cause her to over-react/under-react at random times? Like, learning to over come this thing that is tearing apart her relationships and making her hate her humanity?
@benwykes47364 жыл бұрын
Well, I'd think that would be fine so long as the prose itself doesn't become melodramatic (unless it's first person, in which case it naturally would reflect thd character's overreactio).
@fkdjdjcmckdjdjf37283 жыл бұрын
~then this isn't about you~
@Zwerggoldhamster6 жыл бұрын
You should learn sign language. Very easy to say 12 with just one hand ;)
@pheonixrises116 жыл бұрын
Zwerggoldhamster Ahhhhhhhhhh that makes sense
@schleepy63623 жыл бұрын
I think cliches feel melodramatic because some cliches (like the REALLY bad ones) are SO played out that we don't relate to the emotion they're trying to convey anymore. Like, "He looked like a deer in headlights" is one that doesn't make me imagine "OhmygodImabouttoDIE" like the phrase is TRYING to express, it just makes me imagine a literal deer in headlights. Cliches like that feel like something a writer turns to when they can't express the emotion proper on their own. To be convincing and EARN your emotion, it's best to be original and memorable.
@evilgenius97 Жыл бұрын
I love dreaming i enjoyed hearing you dont like the dreams in stories dont plan on writing
@sirensings27875 жыл бұрын
so my story kicks off with a whole load of death (specifically a whole kingdom's death, but whatever). i'm torn between making the mc really upset over not being able to save them or just in shock- because on both sides, he never really knew his kingdom, he just fought with them in a few battles. _help please_
@LadyOfTheEdits4 жыл бұрын
Make him shocked. This will make him relatable. I mean, would you cry over that?
@greengrendel11 ай бұрын
Where you had souls, my melodrama was all about eyes when I was a teen. The color of them, the expression, characters looking eachother in the eyes or avoiding them... lol. Just watch out for whatever your personal cliche is.
@edenmckinley34722 жыл бұрын
Great video. Definitely agree with you on the souls thing, although I don't think YA has an excuse to be overemotional just because the audience is. I am a teen writer and I have put a lot of effort into avoiding melodrama, but I still get contaminated with it. Melodrama would be a young man running from his sister's grave crying out that he will take revenge on whoever her murderer was, collapsing at a plot-important spot and weeping. It would be much more interesting to say something like this: I stared at the pool as I let the carnation's blushing petals slip from my fingers one at a time. They fluttered in the wind and landed on the glassy surface like paratroopers heading out for a mission. But as soon as they touched down, they just ... stopped. They weren't going anywhere; they had served their purpose. And that purpose was to look pretty for a day before we swept them into the trash. They would look prettier if they were white, I thought. Kristian had hated pink. I tossed the stem into the water, disrupting it's peaceful existence. Footsteps sounded behind me and I recognized the gait to be Dad's. He stopped, and I braced myself for the sigh that inevitably followed. "Danny," he said softly, "We're going back to the house, now." "Okay." "You coming? Or do you need a minute?" I wanted to tell him that I was fine. But neither Kristian nor I are good liars. Were. Were good liars. "The flowers should have been white," I said instead. "I told Mom, right before we met with the funeral coordinator, 'make sure the flowers are all white'." Dad sighed again, but not his usual frustrated or satisfied sigh. This one was empty of gusto. "Your mother's not in a good place right now." "Are any of us?" "Danny." I turned to look him in the eye. His hair was grayer than it had been last Christmas, the skin on his throat more shriveled. Or perhaps that had only happened in the past few days. Time had been funny lately. "Danny," he repeated. "Please come home. It's late." I was still. I wasn't sure what I waited for, and to this day I'm still not sure. But after sixty seconds, I nodded. We walked up the hill together, and the whole way I tried to scrub the pink petals from my vision. Not sure who these characters are or what's going on, but I would be interested to hear anyone's feedback on whether they think I've nailed it or not. I don't post my work anywhere online, so this is the first time I've ever opened up.
@berryXjerry216 Жыл бұрын
I'm late, but the way you put it is pretty good. There is of course no subtext, but I understand it's just a one minute written text. I really hate melodrama too, especially in books and movies, but I don't know when to get the right feeling either. In fact, I completely avoid emotion just in case, so my heroes tend to be cold. Maybe because I myself am ashamed to feel and I just want to feel nothing, but anyway.😅 If you ever feel ready, you can make a Wattpad account and upload your work there. Trust me, it's a friendly community for all aspiring writers.
@edenmckinley3472 Жыл бұрын
@@berryXjerry216 Thanks! I've never joined wattpad because I thought it was only for fanfiction. And yeah, there's not much subtext in the little blurb I wrote because I did it stream-of-consciousness and edited only to correct spelling mistakes.
@thecornercreep90436 жыл бұрын
This is a mood
@elbazart5 жыл бұрын
Great video about a topic which a lot of young authors wrestle with. I would add that many times melodrama is the result of characters having an emotional moment too early in the story, before we have become invested in the story. Having the same exact moment later on could actually work , once it has been earned.
@sn-rn4pv4 жыл бұрын
Good post! Literally updating. Thanx.
@jamesblackwell51206 жыл бұрын
Okay but... the first point is a bit hard to swallow... I mean... you trusted yourself that putting up all those tapestries was a good idea and we all know how that turned out...
@ShaelinWrites6 жыл бұрын
SAVAGE AF
@thezantgeneral6776 жыл бұрын
Moderation is the key to success.
@FunkyJeff225 жыл бұрын
Dreams are great in stories about internal conflict. They strip away all the unnecessary parts of the story and leave all that matters - the character and their conflict. Bonus if the dreams are super wild compared to the rest of the story.
@commentercommentypants79044 жыл бұрын
Oh, bless your heart. I'm hoping this helps me. I'm writing a novel at the moment where a woman spends her entire adult life on the run from a serial killer who kills those around her to torment her. She keeps wanting to kill herself, but most of her close family and friends have died trying to keep her safe. She's understandably a mess of guilt, terror, and pain, and that's how I want the character to be. I don't want her to sniffle sometimes -- I want her to show the very real mental issues that would develop under the circumstances. Still, I don't want her to be a "woe is me" character whose literal existence revolves around sorrow and fear. I want her to be broken, but still trying to find something to live for, and to have that drive to actually LIVE rather than just survive lead her to finally kill the man who's been torturing her for decades and continue on. However, I keep getting the horrible, creeping feeling as I write that she's coming across as frustratingly mopey, overly dramatic, and boring, even though both me and the people I've had read it don't see that. Either this will help me fix the issue or chill on it.
@a_good_rat6 жыл бұрын
Yessss thank you for this 🙏💕
@Pinkstarclan5 жыл бұрын
I think the reason (or one of the reasons) why cliches come off as melodramatic is bc melodrama means that the emotions of the characters are unearnedly intense compared to the readers'. With cliches, we've seen them before, so we're desensitized. So while a cliche for a /character/ is a brand-new event happening to them or a phrase they genuinely feel fits, and their emotions react accordingly, for the readers, it's brushed over like any visual noise.
@rowan40411 ай бұрын
My protagonist sobs loudly on several occasions because that’s what I do when I have a meltdown and I want to normalize it.
@triniferrari13956 жыл бұрын
ALL THIS CONTENT THE INTERNET IS QUAKING (also, I'm definitely guilty of melodrama, and I've been thinking lately about how to make my work more subtle so the timing of this video couldn't be more perfect ❤)
@thebraxtonater84666 жыл бұрын
My first book is cringy. Lol. I wrote it when I was a freshman and published in the summer before sophmore year. Book 1 is too much action 😂
@Henbot2 жыл бұрын
I get the point about dreams, though I think it can be done very well myself like in The Witcher and ASOFAI. Loved Twin Peaks approach to dreams and Lynch