How To Choose Your Life Partner Wisely? - Jordan Peterson

[@DarraSmith-ul3mt]

Yes you are right so Choose wiley, choose to fit your own heart

[@FaceMcFaceson]

People say don't hate the player, hate the game. But the game probably shouldn't be hated either, because a lot of what we consider to be great is the result of thousands of years of the game playing out. That is, less competent and less attractive people gradually losing to more competent and more attractive people. And so we have big brains for building society and strong sex drives for producing generations. The game, however, is as brutal as getting killed in the forest by a bear. It's physically and emotionally just about as horrible, terrifying, and miserable as such an event. Except it's drawn out over a lifetime. People laugh about it, but to be the one that has been deemed "not worthy of reproduction" is extremely harsh because there is so much energy built-in to our DNA to try to reproduce. The mental anguish here drives everything from making lots of money, to grinding up the social ladder, to getting married or getting divorced. In a lot of ways, it's "everything" and a "life and death" situation from the perspective of the person suffering. So what do we do about that? One is to sit in misery, pitying yourself, acting like a victim, hating the world. Another option, is to realize that it is a very biologically driven mechanism that is driving your feelings and that you can try to rise above it consciously. And at the same time, you can improve yourself in ways to not get eaten by the bear. You can get healthy, work out, get educated, learn, find people to connect with, and most of all, grow as a person. And those things may not get you to that DNA goal of reproduction, but as you compare yourself to only who you were yesterday, and see all the progress you've made, it can be an actually worthwhile second place prize. And who knows, all that progress might actually get you success in a shocking surprise. The world is brutal, but to feel like a victim is the pathway to actual hell. Salvation is to know that you can be nearly infinitely greater than what you are now, and possibly even what you can even fathom in your wildest dreams. And it all starts with cleaning your room. So how do you choose your partner wisely? You find that person who is genuinely happy when you succeed, and you become that person who is genuinely happy when your partner succeeds. And if you have that fear in your gut that if they improved in their life, they might leave you for someone better, then it's a sign that you should become better. And if you are better, and confident about yourself, you really won't be too rattled if they leave you for someone worse. Feeling "lucky" in a relationship is a recipe for stress, because who knows when the luck will end? Instead, you should feel some degree of "responsibility" and "duty" in a relationship rather than "happiness". If you're "happy" to be with them, then you're probably being driven by feelings that will quickly morph into "I would be unhappy without them" which then morphs into a dependency rather than relationship. You map out a future with them, and see if things align. You map out what your daily lives look like, and see if things align. The problem is, feelings often create invisible bridges over these gaps. You "like them" so it feels like an opportunity you can't miss. And so, you overlook clear signs of incompatibility. But all the signs are there, from the very beginning. The last thing you should rely on when choosing a partner is how you feel - it will only blind you. If you just want to feel, you're looking for the fulfillment of a insane fantasy.